Browse hundreds of free online ebook samples from the authors and publishers at Smashwords. Once you find a book you want to purchase, click over to Smashwords to get the book in multiple DRM-free ebook formats.
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Next Song I Sing | by Donna McDonald May 17, 2012 | $2.99 | 73265 words | Sample 20% |
| Divorced at 40, Chloe has few illusions left. It's obvious she is never going to be thin like she wants, never going to be a famous singer like her friends want, and never going to be woman enough to keep a man like her handsome ex-football player husband from cheating on her. Determined to start over, Chloe vows that next time around, she is going to find someone who will love her for herself. | |||||
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Linda's New Friend | by Mark Moore May 17, 2012 | $1.49 | 3020 words | Sample 20% |
| Linda Lancer is an average American teenager - completely unremarkable in every way - except for the fact that she's super-strong. Might she be destined for greater things? In this first story in the "Becoming a Hero" series from author Mark Moore, Linda makes a new friend, the beautiful Lara Love, and confronts an annoying teacher. 2,975 words. Suitable for high-schoolers. | |||||
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Memoirs and Madness: 13 Short stories to make you Blink | by David Swan May 17, 2012 | $3.99 | 40927 words | Sample 20% |
| Silent retreats, sexy reptilians, drunk werewolves, and surreal journeys inspired by re incarnation, jealousy, and hope. This collection of stories show cases the authors differing tastes, inspirations, and playfulness with different genres. Running through all the stories is a dark and and delicious sense of humour that will leave the reader needing more. | |||||
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Penny Drops | by Victoria Neukerk May 16, 2012 | $0.99 | 4327 words | Sample 20% |
| Poor Penny hatches a plan to make her sleazy boss regret his harassment, bad pay and the long hours. Things quickly go awry as she trades her pervy boss for a shameless lawyer and then an slimy agent who catapults her to the gossip pages. A delightfully fun and trashy short story of a modern day Holly Golightlly's pitiful attempts at trying to strike it rich and fabulous. | |||||
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Platypus Boy on the Duck Farm | by ilyan kei lavanway May 16, 2012 | $0.99 | 122 words | Sample 100% |
| This hilarious micro fiction children’s story is dedicated to my Down’s syndrome son. He enjoys making humorous sound effects and funny faces. He likes ducks, so I imagine he would like platypuses, too. Platypus Boy visits America and discovers strange similarities and stark differences. He learns valuable lessons and makes new friends in a far away land. | |||||
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Duck Boy on the Platypus Farm | by ilyan kei lavanway May 16, 2012 | $0.99 | 122 words | Sample 100% |
| This micro fiction children’s short story is dedicated to my Down’s syndrome son. He enjoys making humorous sound effects and hilarious faces, and he likes ducks. Duck boy goes down under and discovers strange similarities and stark differences. He learns valuable lessons and makes new friends in a far away land. | |||||
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The Absurd Adventures of Mira | by Sujata Rayers May 16, 2012 | $7.99 | 58120 words | Sample 20% |
| When Mira, a 250-pound swarthy Asian Indian, fantasizing herself as sparkly blue-eyed actress Cameron Diaz, is raped by a radical Black Muslim Panther at a public high school "Woodstock" dance, her conservative Hindu father refuses to acknowledge the rape for fear she will be "spoiled fruit." | |||||
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Cut Loose (Dusty Deals Mystery) | by Rae Davies May 16, 2012 | $3.99 | 68188 words | Sample 20% |
| It's rodeo season in Helena, Montana and Lucy Mathews is ready to make some new sales for her antiques shop. Unfortunately, things aren't going so well, her boyfriend's ex-wife is causing trouble, her dog is getting Lucy in trouble and oh, yeah... there's that dead rodeo queen whose body Lucy just found. | |||||
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Kid Jokes | by mahesh dutt sharma May 15, 2012 | $0.99 | 13539 words | Sample 10% |
| Clean Kid Jokes For Timepass Entertainment. | |||||
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The Canoe Trip and other Funny Outdoor Tales | by Leonard Worthy May 15, 2012 | $0.99 | 7321 words | Sample 20% |
| I have always been a storyteller, but it wasn’t until recently that I decided to share my stories more broadly. Some are best told as “stand-upâ€, and some are best read. Inspired by Jerry Clower, Dave Gardner, and many others, I have put some of my better “bull†down on paper. Enjoy this one, until I can write the next one! | |||||
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Hard Knocks: Hilarious Life Lessons of a Lawyer | by Mervyn Hecht May 14, 2012 | $9.99 | 21086 words | Sample 20% |
| This is a book for people who love to laugh and through that laughter, learn. A satire, Hard Knocks is based upon true events. Hard Knocks takes place within the law, but it is hardly a law book. Rather, it is a Life book, detailing professional wallopings and rounding off with a dose of Aesop. Witty, surprising, at times angering, but always hilarious. | |||||
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Chain of Desire | by J.S. Volpe May 14, 2012 | $0.99 | 8145 words | Sample 50% |
| Gilbert Solomon, a finder of rare objects, is hired to locate a prototype 50s-era robot. He soon finds it, but its owner won't give it up except in exchange for a rare issue of a men's magazine. When Gil finds a copy of the magazine, its owner likewise won't give it up except in trade, and so on and so on, the job threatening to become an endless chain of trades... | |||||
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The Damned Cat | by Kenn Baker May 14, 2012 | $3.00 | 2680 words | Sample 20% |
| In this dark comedy short story, a man adopts a stray cat that makes his life a living hell. | |||||
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A Murderous Addiction | by Kevin Barry May 14, 2012 | $0.99 | 113268 words | Sample 15% |
| jake cameron's lfe ended badly. his plan of dying of old age or being shot by a jealous husband at the age of ninety didn't quite work out. now he's dead. pity really, all he had to do was stay sober, stop almost every crime syndicate in the world from killing him and win the heart of his one true love. a murderous addiction is kevin barry's 4th novel | |||||
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Funny, Laughy, Sexy | by Jay Buckner May 14, 2012 | $3.95 | 31638 words | Sample 10% |
| Pure whimsy. Just what you need. Twelve absurd stories and observations on men, women and sex from the point of view of a man who knows little about any of it. If you want to laugh read the first two pages of these slightly risque comedies written for women in their own defense. A must read for men so they'll have some idea of what they're up against, not that it will help. | |||||
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Confessions of a Gaming Attendant | by Matthew Schafer May 13, 2012 | $4.99 | 234573 words | Sample 20% |
| A witty and sometimes cynical look at addiction and gambling from a veteran of the industry, Mikey Lee Ray. | |||||
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Zombie Jokes | by R.G. Richards May 13, 2012 | $0.99 | 3842 words | Sample 20% |
| I love zombies and zombie jokes. If you enjoy them as much as I do, this book will give you many laughs. | |||||
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Obituaries | by Leni Matlin May 13, 2012 | $0.99 | 4687 words | Sample 30% |
| We're all slouching toward the Inevitable - also known as the Big Sleep, the Big Chill, and the Big Upload. Obituaries has 27 death notices unlike any you'll ever come across, but that's the point, to have a few good yuks and maybe some worthwhile insights about something we can't do anything about. And you'll meet Death who says there's no reason to be scared of him and none of it is personal | |||||
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Devil's Food | by Eddie Kurtz May 13, 2012 | $2.99 | 63937 words | Sample 20% |
| The utterly wicked, self-centered, malicious Steve Malo makes a pact with a devil-like character to save himself from personal disaster, in return for his soul. He returns to life to do the Devil's work in destroying a sweet, innocent young woman, learns about the real nature of evil and the power of love, and makes his life over with real love for the first time. | |||||
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The Obituarist | by Paul A. Waters May 13, 2012 | $2.75 | 11684 words | Sample 20% |
| The Obituarist - Dead people are the safest story around. They can’t answer back. But if you follow in death’s footsteps, it can be dangerous to get too close. An obituary writer seizes his chance when war heroes start dying. Brace yourself for handlebar moustaches, stiff drinks, greed, treachery and, of course, death. But with a twist. “Mordant, funny, dark, teasing and ironic.†| |||||
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The Adventures of Reztap | by Artemus Withers May 12, 2012 | $4.99 | 44799 words | Sample 15% |
| Tar Reztap and Gorth are intergalactic traders who get pulled into crazy missions. None of the missions turn out exactly as planned. A zany cast of characters aid, hamper and chase the heroes throughout the known galaxy. | |||||
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The Noble Mr. Prickles | by Ardy May 12, 2012 | $2.99 | 21078 words | Sample 40% |
| Javan, a decorated general and military instructor, once swore an oath to his friend, King Orvan, that should he ever be needed he would answer the call. Now, Orvan is insane, taking advice only from his dog, and he has called Javan and his three best warriors to go on a suicidal mission to retrieve a magic orange petal from the Giant Kingdom, with only a chimpanzee named Mr. Prickles to aid them. | |||||
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Scary Modern Tales: The Ultimate Collection of Urban Legends | by Jeffrey Fisher May 12, 2012 | $4.99 | 9231 words | Sample 10% |
| Enjoy this collection of modern Urban Legends. This collection includes some of the more popular Urban Legends, as well as many lesser known Urban Legends from throughout the world. | |||||
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Atlantis, B.C.E. | by Richard Alan Dickson May 12, 2012 | $2.99 | 10377 words | Sample 10% |
| For the men of Mars and the women of Venus, the annual pyramid-building contest on Earth is a festivity capped with a grand celebration on the island of Atlantis. The only drawback? The conscripted human workers, Mayans and Egyptians, are talented... but one parking-lot valet is not. "Before Cyd Euripides, there was Atlantis." (Includes the complete bonus story, "Doom Cows from Outer Space.") | |||||
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Mistress Moldavite | by Meira Eliot May 11, 2012 | $0.99 | 86214 words | Sample 20% |
| Hilarious, and a bit of a mystery. Eva’s teaching career is seriously on the rocks. As she shambles and laughs her way through school, Eva delves into the inspiring history of Prague, the city she loves. She is transformed by what she discovers. Adult edition | |||||
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The Mini Adventures of Misha: Four Days in San Francisco | by Patricia La Bella May 11, 2012 | $1.99 | 23926 words | Sample 20% |
| Follow the gregarious 10-year-old Misha and her well-intentioned mom as they stumble upon one hilarious adventure after another in the city by the bay. Misha’s mom is excited to introduce her daughter to culture and diversity. Misha, however has one goal in mind: Get to The Holy Grail of shopping – The miraculous five-story SAKS FIFTH AVENUE! Misha finds that it isn't so easy with mom in the way! | |||||
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As She | by Amber Gordon May 11, 2012 | $5.00 | 2614 words | Sample 10% |
| A collection of four short pieces about what it was to be a woman. Not as in gender bending -- but as in life horrors. | |||||
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General Invasion - A Short Story | by William Van Winkle May 11, 2012 | $0.99 | 7275 words | Sample 20% |
| Roswell, NM. 1947. Rugged and fearless, General Griesdieck stands ready when America recovers an invading UFO. General Griesdieck and President Truman attempt to determine their four-armed, beer-guzzling captive's motives, but it's soon clear that there's more (or less) to this interstellar visit than world domination. President Truman wants peaceful ties, but Billy the alien has other plans... | |||||
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Love... And Sleepless Nights (A laugh-out-loud romantic sequel) | by Nick Spalding May 11, 2012 | $2.99 | 55985 words | Sample 20% |
| Sometimes, the hardest part of becoming a parent is keeping a straight face… Just ask Jamie and Laura Newman, who (thanks to a rather relaxed attitude to contraception) find themselves about to have a baby. It’s obviously a terrifying prospect for a newly married couple, but as long as they stick together they’ll be fine, right? | |||||
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The Rum Shop | by Ed Teja May 10, 2012 | $0.99 | 2943 words | Sample 20% |
| In the islands of the West Indies, the rum shop is the center of community activity, mostly because everyone shows up there sooner or later. News of events and people, and gossip and stories are shared freely. It is a wonderful place to spend some time if you want to get to know the people. And the rum can be mighty fine too. | |||||
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This Way Out: A novel of fame, original sins, and the Beverly Hills Discretion Squad | by Bob Fenster May 10, 2012 | $3.99 | 93180 words | Sample 20% |
| In this comic adventure about the search for freedom and the surprising secrets of success, Bobby Fenton quits Hollywood to save the human race from its own stupidity. On his epic journey through the flip side of America, Bobby meets a billionaire trying to patent progress, a gangster who can solve the world’s overpopulation problem, Sheriff Goofy, and bankers cashing in with god-based securities. | |||||
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NORDNMARK ONE POINT ! H.T.Fumiganza | by L'UrbaineDesArts Editions NovelingPress May 10, 2012 | $5.99 | 74266 words | Sample 20% |
| “NORDNMARK ONE POINT!†Livre: … « L'homme qui voulait être reine!" » c’est l'ambition de Raoul de Bonpèze, aristocrâte français,descendant d'une lignée prestigieuse de crêmiers du pape et de buralistes des galères, devenu par son mariage prince consort du Royaume de Nordnmark. Y parviendra-t-il? "Nordnmark one point! est la Chronique loufoque et virtuose de ses entreprises. | |||||
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The Billionth American | by Robert Reichardt May 10, 2012 | $5.99 | 54729 words | Sample 15% |
| A satire set in the overcrowded Washington, DC (now Washtown, DC) of AD 2080, the novel focuses on Burgess Huxley, a young employee at the Federal Bureau of the Census, and the chaotic events leading up to the massive July 4th “Billionth American Celebration†honoring the illegitimate birth of that citizen. The hero discovers a government Census cover-up that triggers a series of wild adventures. | |||||
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Penal Envy: Pros and Cons Tell How They Found Happiness in Federal Prison | by Jaden Alexander May 10, 2012 | $2.99 | 43771 words | Sample 20% |
| Penal Envy is a compilation of fictionalized federal crime short stories based on personal accounts told by non-violent convicts in a low-security United States Federal Prison in the 1980’s. Seven inmates tell you stories about prison, their criminal exploits, how they got caught, and why it is not so bad in federal prison. | |||||
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The Great Salmon Run Cake Fiasco | by J.A. Marlow May 09, 2012 | $0.99 | 4105 words | Sample 30% |
| The Salmon Run Men's Club, the General Store cafe kitchen, and the one-month anniversary of the Callahans in Alaska... All the ingredients needed for a messy disaster of legendary proportions... A 3100 word Alaskan short story placed in the "Salmon Run" series | |||||
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1-900-OLD-LADYs: The Lost Art of Making Lefse | by L. Lee Starr May 09, 2012 | $2.99 | 80340 words | Sample 20% |
| Two elderly sisters begin answering a 900 sex chat line on their North Dakota farm, while pretending to be respectable members of their close-knit community. When the younger sister's husband turns up dead in the barn, the older sister and fellow townsfolk go to extraordinary lengths to conceal the true nature of his death--which ultimately turns out to be murder. | |||||
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The Great Convergence | by Jess Miller May 09, 2012 | $2.99 | 66736 words | Sample 30% |
| A quiet English village finds its usually uneventful auction turned into mayhem when thousands of people unexpectedly descend upon it becoming entwined in this smile inducing tale of strange encounters, even stranger goings on, no end of scheming, greed, deceit, hilarity, chaos, triumph and just desserts that are only brought to an end when the Crow that was a Rook finally comes home to roost! | |||||
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The Next Big Wood Project | by Marina Rojas May 08, 2012 | $3.49 | 8486 words | Sample 10% |
| Ernest and Bo Dean are wood working geniuses who embark on their latest next big wood project. With a backwoods approach to life and the simpler life, they take you on their latest effort to stay known as the Michelangelos of their craft. | |||||
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dc Lampoon's Anthology of Totally Tasteless Humor Done in High Style | by Hunter Thomas May 08, 2012 | $2.99 | 67234 words | Sample 5% |
| dc Lampoons Anthology of Humor is a collection of far-out subversive humor that has already been banned for its outrageous content in 28 countries including the Vatican, which not only banned the book, but also attempted to crucify it. Who in the world has the gut’s to try and take on the old legacy of National Lampoon Magazine? Well, guess what? These guys at the dc Lampoon may be up to the task. | |||||
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Jolly Roger | by Gary Alan Ruse May 08, 2012 | $0.99 | 11041 words | Sample 20% |
| Two time-traveling special agents and a feisty young lady pirate captain join forces in 1717 to prevent the course of history from being changed. This science fiction adventure comedy adds a new twist to pirate lore. | |||||
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The Attack of the Giant Lizard | by The Albatross May 08, 2012 | $0.99 | 5789 words | Sample 30% |
| After Twin ten year olds Larry and Barry Rothchild realize that they are home alone one evening they decide to stay awake way past their bedtime so that they can watch The Attack of the Giant Lizard. Unfortunately for Larry and Barry, the world of late night television is a new and frightning one filled with sights and sounds that once seen and heard, cannot be easily forgotten. | |||||
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Timely Tales 1: Family & Friends | by Leni Matlin May 08, 2012 | $0.99 | 18473 words | Sample 30% |
| Timely Tales 1 is about parents, children and friends, for at the end of the day, family and friendships make it all worthwhile. No one said parenting would be easy (or growing up and finding your way in this world), but with patience, understanding and a few dollops of love, most things can have a positive ending. So pick up TT 1, read a story and everything will look a bit brighter, guaranteed. | |||||
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Jesus Invades George: An Alternative History | by Luke Rhinehart May 07, 2012 | $3.99 | 91785 words | Sample 20% |
| Jesus Invades George is a grand satirical vision in the same mode as Rhinehart's bestseller The Dice Man. The novel tells what would have happened if George Bush had in 2007 become possessed by the real Jesus. When Jesus talks to George about withdrawing all American forces from abroad and giving health care to everyone, the establishment begins plotting to stop this Christian terrorist George. | |||||
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From The Storm | by Adrian Walker May 07, 2012 | $2.99 | 124650 words | Sample 20% |
| "We don’t know what his name is or where he came from, but he is living in my room." Meet Joe. Once he was a lethal assassin, the best gun-for-hire. Now, in his autumn years, even he has to admit he's losing it. Can he complete the eerily familiar mission that will save his skin? A dark and humorous story of how selves are lost and lives are found. | |||||
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The Wrath of Kahn | by Voltaire 2.0 May 06, 2012 | $1.99 | 14832 words | Sample 50% |
| Dominique Strauss-Kahn seemed to have it all. The head of the IMF, with a rich and powerful wife, DSK, as he was called, was a man destined to become the next president of France. Then, on May 14, 2011, at the Sofitel Hotel in New York City, his world came apart when a maid accused him of sodomy and attempted rape. | |||||
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The Platypus Syndrome | by Indiana Hampster May 06, 2012 | $1.99 | 11792 words | Sample 25% |
| When his girlfriend tells him to get off the couch and look for a job, ex-Space Marine Dirk Beretta finds himself working as security chief for the Bastadocorp mining operation on the Platypus Planet. As the platypoids attack the mine, Dirk faces a difficult choice between supporting his new boss and bombing them, or switching sides to help the furry native girl with the leather bikini. | |||||
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The Indisputable Legend of Thomas Parr: The Secret & The King | by Sofia Diana Gabel May 06, 2012 | $0.99 | 14286 words | Sample 20% |
| 1583 England. Thomas Parr, 100 year-old simple country gent, forgetful, but with a high libido and a passion for cider ale, is kidnapped and taken to Ruthven Castle in Scotland where the Earl of Gowrie wants to know his secret to long life. During his time at Ruthven, Thomas meets the Earl's wife, Lady Daphne and the young 16 year old Scottish King James who has been held prisoner for a year. | |||||
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Outsourced | by Saul Tanpepper May 06, 2012 | $0.99 | 5424 words | Sample 20% |
| The Undead return in this short dark satire that ties together global warming, unemployment and zombies. *** After an historic confluence of political, social, economic and climatic events lowers employment while raising the dead, a man in a soup line considers making the ultimate sacrifice...for a job. | |||||
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The Attic Piranhas | by Marlin Williams May 06, 2012 | $3.99 | 51320 words | Sample 15% |
| Max Fagan's life is in a rut until his encounter with Mr. Wong, a wise old sage with mystical powers of prophecy. But that's only the beginning. Max's life is suddenly turned upside down after stumbling across a mysterious machine that promises a quick fix to his problems. Join Max as he discovers one of the well guarded secrets of The Universe that lands him in hot water. | |||||
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Sherlock Holmes and the Fat of the Land | by Eric Cline May 06, 2012 | $0.99 | 3406 words | Sample 30% |
| Sherlock Holmes takes on his biggest case yet . . . or at least his biggest client! A pastiche by Eric "Cruel" Cline, whose stories have appeared in Ellery Queen's Mystery Magazine and other publications, both in print and on the web. | |||||