He’s in the Suitcase
Kim Bauer Hill
Smashwords ebook edition published by Fideli Publishing Inc.
Copyright 2011, Kim Bauer Hill
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ISBN: 978-1-60414-479-6
Chapter 1
Diagnosis: Pregnant
Treatment: Carry suitcase daily along 1 straight and narrow path.
Some time ago, not certain of the exact date, I received a package with a ‘DO NOT RETURN TO SENDER’ sticker on the box. This, of course, caused me to immediately search for a return address on the wrapping. As I was unsuccessful in doing so, I proceeded to unwrap the gift and found a tag attached to a handle. This tag had in big, bold, bright red letters and numbers my name and date of birth stamped on it.
The gift was shaped exactly like the box it came in — my best description — it was a perfect-sized suitcase, having pockets, zippers, locks and a gold key for safe keeping and security. Though I was unable to acknowledge who the sender was, I could plainly see that this gift must have cost someone, somewhere — everything they had. Being certain this was a special gift for me, I carried it at all times.
I had met my husband, Mark, at work and we married in January of 1991. Mark still works there to this day. I had taken a new job at Kendrick Memorial Hospital working at the switchboard for Lynda Jaynes. Later, she earned the name of ‘best boss in the whole wide world’ because she hired me back to the admitting/ switchboard department at least 4 different times.
Mark and I had built a home and were living in it several years prior to the fall of 1994. Although the house was two years old, it still seemed very new to us, especially since we were still in the process of finding out neither of us knew much about anything when it came to homeownership. We attended a Christian church that we both enjoyed very much and later joined. I felt we were heading down the perfect road – the straight and narrow path — you know, the one God says to take.
In this September of 1994, though, I had felt really sick — and I mean really sick A LOT — to the point that I was becoming a person with a very bad attitude. There were many people saying to me, ‘You could be a little nicer, Kim,’ and ‘Have you and Mark been fighting?’ Then there were others who did not say anything. These people just did an ‘about-face’ when they saw me heading in their direction. Also, Mark was working as late as he possibly could. I’m certain it was to avoid coming home before I was asleep. He grabbed fast food often in the two weeks that followed.
I didn’t care as I snapped at him, ‘I hate to cook, anyway — so, don’t think you’re bothering me. Be sure though, if you’re going to grab fast food, bring me home a cheeseburger.’ How thoughtless could he be?
During the next several weeks, I skipped out of some work and missed a few Sunday attendances.
As I lay on my bed in self-pity, reminding myself that some people had even called me the ‘B’ word — the one some females are called when they are having their ‘time of month cycle.’ Suddenly, a bell rang in my head, ‘Hello, you have skipped your ‘time of month cycle.’ Ahaaa. I have to be pregnant. This would certainly explain my self pity and not feeling so good attitude. My heart began to grow, just like Mr. Grinch’s on Christmas morning. I became excited and for that brief afternoon, I had no more ‘not feeling so good’ on my mind!
By early evening, I had run to the drugstore to grab a pregnancy test. Sure enough, I was pregnant.
Mark, grinning from ear to ear said, ‘Take the other one also, just to be sure!’
‘Okay and I’ll pick one more up tomorrow morning ‘cause that’s really when you are supposed to take the test.’
We were unable to wait for the next morning before we got on our phone sharing the wonderful news of the positive tests.
Before we went to bed that night, I made Mark apologize for not dealing well with me during the past month. After all, I had a perfectly good reason for my behavior. I just did not know what the reason was at the time. He gladly and still grinning from ear to ear, said, ‘I’m sorry, Kim. I did not realize you would get so irritable when you became pregnant.’
As we left for work the next morning, I grabbed my suitcase. During lunch, I checked my insurance company’s list of OB/GYNs. Finding one close by, I immediately scheduled an appointment. This way, I would have professional confirmation on paper to tuck in my suitcase.
Having not seen an OB/GYN for several years, the doctor wanted me to have an ultrasound that same day. The technician had me watch so I could see that tiny fertile egg.
She said, ‘Hmmmm. Here is the egg, but it looks like … this … (pointing the arrow next to the egg) … is some type of growth.’ She said, ‘It is really large, about the size of a grapefruit.’
I said, ‘That is large compared to my little baby’s size.’
But in my mind, the ‘growth’ diagnosis pretty much blew right over my head. However, an hour or so later as I sat in the waiting area daydreaming about my baby, the doctor called for me to come back into his office. ‘Kim, the growth on the ultrasound next to the baby is, in fact, a tumor. We are sending out a culture for lab testing. That being said, because you are pregnant and want to remain pregnant, if the tumor does not dissipate during your pregnancy, we will remove it after birth — after your child is born safely and all else checks out okay.’
___
Several weeks passed before I received the results from the lab. My diagnosis was a Stage 3 Cervical Dysplasia. Not the best news, but I remained positive and okay with this diagnosis. Mark and I were still going to have a baby. And after all, the doctor had informed me during my first appointment that this tumor could be removed approximately six months post-pregnancy. Nothing was going to be allowed to steal my overwhelming joy!
When Mark got home from work, I rambled on about my appointment — all the good news. I mentioned the tumor and that it was a Stage 3 Cervical Dysplasia, a common type that could be easily removed six months after I gave birth. Finally, Mark was convinced all would be fine. Don’t worry; the Lord has projects for us to get busy on!
Now was the time for me to apply my decorating talents. I enjoyed pulling these talents out of my suitcase a lot, especially if they required some ‘spending money’ assistance. I got busy ordering all of the furniture and accessories for our nursery.
Deciding on a ‘cow’ themed nursery, I chose ‘The Cow Jumped Over the Moon’ as my starting point! Purchasing black and white cow print wallpaper, I had my mom and best friend sew curtains and tie-backs for the bay window. Accent colors were blue and green. (Okay, a little yellow in case I had a girl.) But I was having a boy; I just knew it. It had to be a little boy.
Mark was obsessed with sports. He was a Gold-Medal, All-American gymnast, a trophy winner in baseball and softball, a great golfer and he loved to go fishing and boating.
Often I wondered why he married me. The only answer I had was that he always told me I was ‘gorgeous’. Thinking back, I ogled at him for the same reason.
Around the second month of pregnancy, as I was on the phone with J. C. Penney, the doorbell rang. My furniture had been shipped. ‘Cool’, I said to UPS, ‘I was just on the phone with Penney’s checking on the arrival date. Yep, all three boxes are here.’ I was so excited; I could finally see the nursery coming to life.
I ripped open the boxes and, stamped on each of the separate pieces was ‘Assembly required’! I hated, hated, hated these words. I had no time for reading instructions or looking at diagrams. I was, however, fortunate that the instructions only came in English and contained just two diagrams per piece. Since there was not a chance that I was waiting for Mark’s help on this caper, I dug right in.
Believe it or not, I had the crib, dresser, and changing table all completed in about four hours. And yes, I had the job done to perfection. I was, to say the least, very proud of myself.
My best friend was Maryann Puterbaugh. She earned the name “My Maryann” because I demanded her undivided attention and didn’t let anyone else take it from me! I called My Maryann that evening to see if she had finished the final details of those curtains for the nursery.
“And now that we are on the subject, since you are planning my baby shower for work, why don’t you just ask everyone to chip in and get me ‘The Cow Jumped Over the Moon’ lamp? It’s the only themed item I still need.”
“Okay, sweetie.”
I knew she would say that. No back sass from her, at least not when I was pregnant! Occasionally, if I was too demanding with what to buy, where to buy it and when I needed it, she would call me ‘Brat!’ Hardly ever though! And even then, she never failed me. My Maryann had the sweetest spirit that I would forever keep tucked in my suitcase.
I was nearing the fifth month of pregnancy when I experienced a slight setback. I was in line at the bank drive-through when I felt faint. My upper row of teeth moved tightly together making my gums hurt and bleed. This lasted about 5 seconds. Hmmm, I thought; what in the heck was that all about? I guess it’s no big deal. It’s over now. I looked in my rearview mirror to the back seat just to make sure; I had not forgotten my suitcase that day. Nope, I didn’t, it’s right where it should be. I loved it and it would be so unlike me to forget it.
The next morning I woke up with a film over my left eye. I couldn’t rinse it out and my eyesight became foggier as the morning went on. This was my eye with 20/20 vision. My right eye had astigmatism and for this reason I wore glasses when needed.
I wanted to have it checked out right away but since this was a Saturday morning, my eye doctor’s office was closed. However, this was problematic enough for Mark and me to go to the weekend medical clinic in Plainfield. As we were on our way, I re-hashed the previous month. In doing so, I remembered that at least once a week I had a horrible nosebleed, and not so much bleeding as bloody tissue clots that kept being expelled. It’s pretty gross to describe and definitely embarrassing to talk about. I had best let the doctor know about this, too.
The doctor examined my eye with a magnifying glass and flashlight and with the lights on and lights off. He told me that this was not a cold. ‘The best way to explain it is to say that the back of your eye has attached itself to the front of your eye. It’s serious and you need to see your eye doctor first thing on Monday morning.’
I was in the office by 10 a.m. Monday. My eye doctors were a husband and wife team. The wife looked at my eye and said, ‘We only see this once in about 200 patients.’ The husband checked me also. He said, ‘It’s like someone took a can of hairspray to your lens.’ His wife agreed. ‘And this only happens to someone who has had a massive trauma to their face or a severe blow to their head. Are you positive nothing else is going on?’ I told her about the really weird nosebleeds occurring about once a week and the expelling of bloody clots. She said that wouldn’t have caused this.
After the eye doctors consulted with my OB/GYN, all three doctors decided I would be given steroid drops at the eye doctor’s office for the next five days with dilation prior to the drops. This would save the eyesight I had left. However I was sadly informed, the eyesight I had originally lost was permanent. I would be scheduled to see a specialist after the baby was born to confirm this diagnosis. I was really bummed out the rest of that day because this had been my good eye. Now, it was my bad eye.
Remembering my baby in my tummy, though, I did not stay bummed out long at all. Today was the day I would have the ultrasound to confirm my expectations of a baby boy. It was done where I worked with our technician who traveled between hospitals with her machine. This way I could run and show all of my friends my baby’s picture and say, ‘I told you so; it’s a boy!’
Sure enough, as the machine popped on, there he was. The technician said, “Oh, my gosh, Kim. It is a boy, no doubt. He did not make us search long. See that? It’s no doubt a boy and look, Kim, he’s sucking his thumb. He is perfect.” The technician left the baby’s picture on the screen for all my co-workers in radiology to see.
The next step was the lab where my friend Sally worked. She said, “This is the most perfect ultrasound picture I’ve ever seen. His head is perfect, little feetsies and toes, and he’s sucking his thumb.”
Next department was admitting where I worked. I heard, “Oh, Kim, you are so lucky. He is gorgeous.”
“Yes, he is … Colin Robert Hill from now on!”
And don’t worry about any errors on the sex of this baby — look here — there is no question that this indeed is a boy!
Colin’s photo, being the boy to carry on the Hill name, was immediately rushed to Mark’s work for bragging rights. He had the picture for visual proof. Then I ran home and tucked the ultrasound picture safely in my perfect suitcase.
___
Now, in the seventh month, about 30 weeks into my pregnancy, my knees were giving me problems. At night, they would start throbbing. The pain was really bad; the worst part was that the pain lasted three and four hours straight. I would pace around, sit with ice packs on both knees, pace around, and then sit with ice packs again. ‘What is going on?’ I said to Mom. She was spending nights with me to be my special helper. She tried to find ‘funnies’ on TV and to distract me from my pain with family stories and such. Mark was so thankful for Mom. He wouldn’t have been able to sleep without Mom being there helping me through this.
My OB/GYN, at my next check-up, noticed how inflamed my knees were. The nurse scheduled an appointment with an orthopedic doctor right away. After a thorough examination, his diagnosis was absolute. I had patella syndrome, which is more common in mid-life pregnancies. He had already spoken to the OB/GYN before he gave me the treatment. He told me, “Since this will not go away until after the baby is born, you are to take two Tylenol every four hours at night when the pain is at its worst. Continue using ice packs as needed to numb your knees.”
Chapter 2