Excerpt for Limo Run LA Chauffeur Memoirs by Mark Keshel, available in its entirety at Smashwords

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LIMO RUN LA
Chauffeur Memoirs
Written by Mark Keshel


Acknowledgements

First and foremost I would like to thank Elizabeth my girlfriend and best friend for all the support she gives me in whatever endeavor I embark upon

I would like to also thank my many friends their ideas and suggestions are what inspired me to write this book.

I would like to acknowledge my friend Nora Shea, she helped me immensely thank you so much.

Last but not least I want to thank my family for all the love, faith, and confidence they've given on this long and challenging road.


LIMO RUN LA Chauffeur Memoirs

Published by Mark Keshel at Smashwords

Copyright 2011-Mark Keshel

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TABLE OF CONTENTS


THE START
THE OFFICE
THE CONSTRUCTION MANAGER
THE REAL-ESTATE AGENT
THE COMMERCIAL REAL-ESTATE BROKER
THE MORTAGE BROKER
THE MUSICAN
THE HUMMER RUN
THE KING
THE EMMY AWARDS
REALITY TV
SPORTS STARS
BILLIONAIRES
THE PRINCE
THE FINISH


“****”



THE START

The year 2006 and the US was at war in the Middle East. It all started when I lost my position as Vice President and Operations Manager of a small company. The owner and I were good friends but I hadn’t seen a paycheck in some time. He came to me one day and said, “Maybe you should look for another job.” It was really no surprise, I mean I saw the orders coming in or should I say lack of them. Really, in my opinion, this guy couldn’t sell ice to people living on the equator. He would be on the phone with someone for over an hour and the only thing he would get was the person’s address so I could send them some free product.

So the search began. I pondered where a 43-year-old white male with only a high school education would find a job in Southern California? I picked up the penny saver (a classified ad magazine) as I was having my tea one morning. There I found an ad, Driver Wanted and put a big circle around it. It took me a couple days of deliberating. Do I want to be a driver; I mean really, have you seen the roads and highways around the Southern California area? GRID LOCK!! There would have to be something seriously wrong with anyone that wanted to be a driver around here. A few days went by and I decided to call the number in the ad and a woman with a Scottish accent answered the phone. “Hello ZQX Limousine. May speaking, how may I assist you?”
She had a really pleasant voice. “I saw your ad in the penny saver for a driver, what does the job consist of?”
“Well it’s a chauffeur position, we are a limousine company. Are you still interested in the job?”
I paused slightly, “yes.”
“Good be here tomorrow at 9:00 am sharp for an interview.”
“OK.” I hung up the phone and rushed to the closet, where I found my only suit. It was a two-piece all black suit that I had bought earlier that year for an executive protection gig I did for NBB. Perfect, I thought; I brushed it off, tried it on, it still fit great. With a white shirt, black tie, black shoes I was ready.

The next morning I arrived at the interview five minutes early. I didn’t want to seem to anxious, and I wanted to play it cool. I walked into the lobby of the building where I was told to go the day before, the place was deserted, nobody around. There were a couple of nice chairs, a table with some magazines on it, a lamp in the corner, one door and a set of stairs leading up to the second floor. I could see there were no lights on up on the second floor so I knocked on the only door there. No one answer, so I knocked hard, still no answer, I walked through the door looking for a sign that someone was around. It was a warehouse with a bunch of the limos parked in it end to end the long way. It could only fit two side by side but it could fit three end to end. I saw black stretch Lincolns, a black stretch H2 Hummer and black Lincoln sedans, a silver S500 Mercedes and a black S550 Mercedes. The bay door was open and outside I saw a white mini coach and a white Sprinter van. At the end opposite of the big door I saw a few desks. I couldn’t really see over the hummer stretch, so I walked to that end of the warehouse. The whole end of the warehouse was decorated with beautiful furniture. There were two grandiose wooden desks, a magnificent over sized leather sofa and ottoman in front of a huge dark wooden mahogany wall unit that held a fifty-inch flat screen TV.

I saw a large girl sitting behind one of the desks talking on the phone. I could tell by her Scottish accent it was the girl I met the previous day on the phone. She didn’t look anything like I had imagined. She was in her middle forties, and looked like she’d lived a tough life. When she hung up the phone I told her I was the guy that called yesterday and that I was there for my interview. In her Scottish accent she said, “Go wait in the lobby, somebody will be with you in just a few minutes”. I turned and walked past all those big long cars stopping and peeking in one of the Lincoln stretches on my way back to the lobby. I thought; it was beautiful inside.

I sat down in the lobby and picked up a magazine and waited. My mind was racing thinking about what the hell I was about to get into. I was there for about fifteen minutes when a man of around forty, dressed very hip, walked in and introduced himself as Armani the owner of the company. Armani was a tall middle-eastern man with slicked back shoulder length dark hair dark eyes and a bright smile. All in all he was a refined looking man. He was very polite and invited me to sit. He proceeded to ask a few questions like, “Do you have a clean driving record?”
“Of course.”
“Are you a drug user?”
“Certainly NOT!”
“Have you ever driven for a limo company before?”
“No.”
“Well you’re certainly dressed like a Chauffeur.” I smiled and thought to myself; this is my only suit I’m glad it was the right color. He said, “I pay fifteen dollars an hour to start and you get to keep any tips.”
“OK.” That was it. The interview lasted all of about three minutes. He got up started walking towards the door and said, “you’re hired, be here tomorrow at 7 am I’ll explain what I want you to do then.”

On my way home I stopped at a store and picked up a bottle of wine. I needed to celebrate my new career! When I arrived at home I told my girlfriend about my interview and that we should drink to the occasion. So when dinner was ready we opened the bottle of Pinot Nior and toasted to my new career as a chauffeur.



“****”



THE OFFICE

The next morning I arrived at the office a few minutes before seven, and walked into the lobby. I tried to walk through the door to the warehouse but it was locked. Great; I thought, so I knocked on the door, there was no answer. I literally banged on the door with the side of my fist, still no answer. I called the phone number I had. The Scottish girl answered, I told her I was in the lobby but the door was locked. She told me to go around the building and come in the side door into the warehouse. There I found May at one desk and Armani at the other, both of them were on the telephone. I waited about ten minutes until Armani hung up the phone and looked at me and said, “You’re here,” with an almost questioning tone in his voice.
“You told me to be here at seven, did I miss understand you?”
“No no, here you go,” he handed me two papers “These are your pickups for the day, if you can handle them I will have more work for you tomorrow.”
“OK, but I have never done this before, I have a few questions.”
He looked at me, “Its not rocket science; Go to the first address, pickup the people, take them to the destination location, drop them off, and go on to the next pickup. Call me when you pick the people up and when you drop them off, any questions?”
“No.”
“Good, you better get going your pickup is in 45 minutes and I want you there 15 minutes early, oh and by the way you have to stop and get gas, and here is the map-quest directions to your pickups.”
“Well, I need some money for gas.”
“Here is a gas card; stop at Costco, this card will only work there.”
“OK” and away I went.

As I was driving to Costco I looked at the address and thought; my god this place is at least 30 minutes away I wish he had told me to come a little earlier so I didn’t have to rush. When I arrived at Costco every gas pump line was at least four to five cars deep, I got in line and called Armani and said, “Hey buddy the gas lines are four and five deep it’s going to be quite difficult to get to the first pickup on time. Why didn’t you tell me to come a little earlier?”
“Do your best if you’re late just tell the people you got lost and that you’re sorry.”
“WHAT, why does it have to be my fault?”
“Don’t worry about it, just do your best.”
I hung up the phone and did just that. I arrived right at the pickup time of eight o’clock. I thought whew just made it right on time. I called Armani and told him that I was at the pickup location and he said, “Good job, go and knock on the door and introduce your self.
I went and knocked on the door, an older man in his late sixties answered I introduced myself, “Hi I am Mark from ZQX Limousines. Do you have any luggage I could help with?”
“Yes, my name is Jim and this is my wife Nancy we are all ready to go-our bags are right there.” I picked up the two medium size suitcases and walked out to the car put them into the trunk and waited about two minutes, they both came out, I greeted them with a big smile and opened the door, they got into the car and away we went. They were going to LAX airport in Los Angeles about a one-hour drive from their house in southern Orange County. They told me they were flying to Hawaii on vacation and that they would be back in about one week. I said, “WOW that sounds like a lot of fun I hope you have a great time.”
“We don’t have anything planned but rest and relaxation.
“Sounds like the perfect vacation to me.” After a bit more small talk we arrived at LAX. I took them to the Hawaiian Airlines terminal and unloaded their luggage. Jim handed me $20 and I was off.

I thought to myself; that wasn’t that bad. I mean once I picked up the passengers and was on my way things seemed to go smooth. I called Armani told him I had dropped off he said, “Great go to the next pickup (which was at John Wayne Airport) stay close to the airport don’t go in I will call you when the clients are ready to be picked up at the curb.”
“You got it, I should be down there in about 45 minutes to an hour talk to you then.”
The rest of the day went OK. I mean I was learning on the fly and really didn’t know if I was doing things right or not. I thought; if I get to the clients on time or a little early and I was polite and courteous that I would be OK.

I got back to the office after two runs, I thought I had about five hours of work in, then Armani informs me that he doesn’t pay hourly on airport runs just a flat fee of $32 dollars for LAX and $17 for John Wayne. I thought; that sucks as I said to him, “Yesterday you told me you pay $15 a hour now you say it’s a flat fee, so which is it?” We sat down and talked for about 30 minutes. I wanted to try to get some understanding of how things were going to work. He proceeded to tell me that he doesn’t take any taxes out of the checks. This way we (the drivers) would get more money in the check. I said, “Yea that may be true but when I file at the end of the year then I’ll owe the IRS.”
“You do whatever you want. I consider the drivers independent contractors, keep all your receipts for parking or what ever and I’ll reimburse you when I cut a check, you get paid every two weeks. Also if any of the clients ask we put a ten percent gratuity right into the bill.” My eyes lit up “You mean I get ten percent plus 15 dollars an hour?”
He laughed, “No, I keep the ten percent but tell them there is a ten percent gratuity included in the bill.” I thought; “ah shucks, ten percent for me would have been nice”. Then I thought to myself; man I really need the money so I’ll just stay for a little while. I said, “If you pay a flat fee for airport runs I’m going to need more than two runs a day to continue to work here.”
“Fine be here tomorrow at 6 am and I’ll have more work for you then.”
“Great see you tomorrow.”

I continued going in, getting my work for the day, complaining about no gas in the car, complaining about him (Armani) not giving me enough time to get gas and get to the clients house 15 minutes early. Sometimes I went in and the car was dirty inside and out and he would want me to help him wash the car and vacuum it out. I thought; I’m in a suit I’m all clean and you want me to do what? Are you crazy? I said to him right then,
“Armani you need someone to wash the cars for you so you don’t have to run around like a nut washing the car five minutes before I need to leave and pick someone up.”
This pattern of behavior went on for weeks, still the same thing.

I cornered May one morning when I saw her getting out of her car. “What’s up with Armani why does he do everything last minute?”
“I have known Armani for years and I have been telling him the same thing, I hear you telling him, I think the man is crazy or something, I really don’t have any explanation. I know it’s stressful for everyone involved but I don’t know what to say, I don’t know why he would want to do business like this because it’s absolutely insane.”
“Because of his lack of organization, sometimes I get to the pickup on time and sometimes I’m a few minutes late and he wants to make it my fault with the client. He tells me to tell the client I got lost; I’m getting pretty sick of this.”
May looks at me, pauses and takes a deep breath, “I know, me too.”
I said, “I have an idea, what if we both go to Armani and tell him we think he is losing business and we think that he should try harder to get organized so that we all can continue to provide better service to all the clients that have been so loyal to him.”
“I don’t know, I have tried to talk to him on several occasions he just gets mad and stomps off like a little kid or something.”
“We have got to try, I’ll do the talking you just come with me and if you feel like adding anything just jump in.” She agreed.

We walked into the building and over to Armani’s desk and I said, “Armani we need to talk to you, do you have a few minutes?”
“Not right now I’m busy.”
“You don’t understand we really need to talk to you right now.”
He stopped what he was doing to look up at both of us and said, “What do you want?”
“We need to talk about the way you do things a round here, I know this is your business but we both believe that you’re losing business because sometimes the drivers are late to pick your clients up and we think that you owe it to them to try to be a little more organized so that we can get there on time or a little early like you would want. I mean didn’t you say you would like us to be at the pickup location 15 minutes early?”
“Yes you should always be there 15 minutes early.”
“Well Armani that’s not happening because you don’t give us enough time to do the things we need to do and get to the pickup on time. What if you hire someone to wash the cars for you?”
“No way!”
“What if we take the cars to get washed at the carwash down the street? We could get them washed on the way back in each night and fill them with gas.”
“I will look into it.” Good enough for me, anything is an improvement, “please give me ten or fifteen more minutes in the morning so I don’t have to rush, I really don’t want a speeding ticket.”
“You should never be speeding!”
I just looked at him and paused for a long moment, “Yes, you’re absolutely right, I should never have to speed. I’ll see you later.” And I walked outside.

May said, “Mark, I can’t believe he listened to you, in all the years I have never seen him listen to anyone.”
“Well, I hope he does think about what we talked about. I mean it will take some pressure off of him. He seems to have a lot on his plate trying to do everything himself.”
“He’s just too cheap to pay anyone to do anything.”
“Yes, I’ve noticed, especially payday, I feel like I have to negotiate for every nickel. The guy squeaks when he walks he’s so tight. I also found out why he considers all his drivers independent contractors the first time I wanted him to pay me overtime. He told me oh I don’t pay overtime to independent contractors just straight time. I asked him about workman’s compensation. He told me that’s also the responsibility of the independent contractor.”

Two or three days went by, I was ready to leave the office for another day of airport runs when Armani said to me, “at the end of the day, take the car down to the Chevron to get it washed here is a Chevron card, make sure you put the card on my desk when you get back.” I thought; finally something did sink in, “OK boss you got it, I’ll stop on my way back at the end of the day.”
“Stop at Costco first and fill the gas tank.”
“No problem I will.”

I must have had a smile on my face all day knowing that the next day I wouldn’t have to do this stuff in the morning. I would have a clean car with a full tank of gas, wow. Isn’t that the way it should be? I mean it just makes sense doesn’t it? Finally some organization! That bit of planning made the day less stressful. Thank God for little miracles! This guy was driving me nuts with his rushing around in the morning knowing that he had these runs. I mean why would anyone not want to be prepared? The next morning I went into the office and Armani said “Your first run cancelled.”
“Why didn’t you call me I could have slept a little longer.”
“They just called me five minutes ago and cancelled.”

We started a conversation since I had some time. I asked, “Could I keep the car at my house at night and could I also keep a gas card?”
He looked at me and smiled, “I think that’s a good idea sure why not, but remember you must keep the car clean.”
My jaw must have hit the floor, I couldn’t believe it, “no problem I will, oh by the way where’s May?”
Armani looked at me, took a deep breath “she quit last night.”
“Oh no, what happened?”
“Her and I had a disagreement yesterday and we got into an argument and she walked out and quit.”
“What were you arguing about?”
“Oh, she wanted a raise, and I told her no way so she quit just like that-I can’t believe it.”
“How long has she been working for you?”
“Oh, about four years.”
“Have you ever given her a raise in those four years?”
“Oh yea, sure I have.”
I looked into his eyes I knew he wasn’t telling me the truth, he probably hadn’t given her a raise the whole time she’d been working here.
“That’s too bad, I liked May she was always nice to me. Whenever I had a question or just needed to talk she was always there. I’m going to miss her.”
“Yea, me too.”
Armani looked at me and asked, “Have you ever driven a stretch?”
“No.”
“Get the keys and take the shorter one out for a drive, get used to it. I would like you to start diving the stretches, what do you think? Can you do it?”
I looked at him, “I can drive anything you have.”
He looked at me and kind of chuckled as he said, “REALLY?”
“Yea, as long as I can take it out for a while and get used to it I’ll be able to drive it.”
“Lets see how you do with the six pack first, then we’ll go from there.”

I got the keys for the six-pack and got into the back to check it out. There were two seats that held three people facing each other with enough legroom in between; one faces forward the other backward. On both sides there are coolers that hold ice, Armani put soda on one side and bottled water on the other, he doesn’t drink alcohol and believes no one else should either. The seat that faces forward is the control seat, from there you can set the temperature, turn the lights on or off, control the stereo, and put the divider up and down.

I drove around for about fifteen minutes, and thought no problem I got this, you just have to take the corners a little wider, it’s all good. When I pulled in Armani said, “Well what do you think?”
“Not a problem, I can handle it.”
“Good, tomorrow I have a six-pack run for four hours as directed do you want to do it?”
“Heck yea I want to, I think it would be fun.”
“OK it’s yours, go and get ready for your airport runs you have today.”

I did, the rest of the day I was on top of the world thinking about driving the stretch the next day, I couldn’t wait. At the end of my last run I called in and told Armani I had dropped off at LAX and was headed home. He said, “Great your first two runs in the morning are John Wayne airport runs I’ll email them to you, then come by the office switch cars and do the stretch run at 5 PM.”
“Ok, is there anything I need to know before I take the stretch out?”
“Yes, make sure there is plenty of ice, water and soda in the car, and just do the same as you have been doing. Oh and I’ve talked to a lot of my clients they all seem to like you. They say you’re very polite and you’re a good driver. Keep up the good work.”
“Wow, thanks, I will.”

When I finally got home I was really tired. Traffic was a real bear on the 405 freeway and it took me two hours to get back from LAX. It usually takes about one hour. No problem, I could sleep in tomorrow because my first run wasn’t until 10 am.

The next day I breezed through the first two runs in anticipation of the run at 5 PM. My first stretch run, after I did the first two runs I arrived at the office at 4 PM I looked at the stretch it needed to be washed. I went in and got the keys, the inside was dirty too, I thought; great, and I wanted to scream but I didn’t have time to do anything but what needed to be done. I started to vacuum, it took about 5 minutes then I took the car outside. Armani just pulled in, I got out of the car, looked at Armani and said, “What the hell this car is dirty.”
“I know this one doesn’t fit through the car wash down at the gas station I’ll help you.” “Yea you better if you want me to get there on time, is there gas in it?”
“Yes I think so.” I looked at the gas gauge, there was ¾ of a tank. I though; good enough we’re just going from Coto De Caza, which was about twenty-five minutes from here then to Laguna Beach, and back there should be enough gas for that.


“****”



THE CONSTRUCTION MANAGER

I arrived at the client’s house in Coto De Caza just in time, right at 5 PM.It was a big Spanish style house with a four-car garage. I went and knocked on the door, a beautiful lady about 35 years young answered the door. She had long blonde hair, a beautiful smile, and if I had to guess, I would say 36 26 36. She was wearing a little black dress that accentuated her figure. I introduced myself, “I’m Mark with ZQX limo.”
“My name is Valerie, we’re waiting for another couple; they should be here any minute.” “I will wait outside by the car, come out whenever you’re ready.”
“OK.”

I was standing by the car about twenty minutes, until I finally saw another car pull up. A tall blond haired man dressed in a white suit with no tie jumped out of the car and immediately said, “sorry, we’re running late, are they in the car waiting?”
“No, they are in the house.” He went to the door and without knocking or ringing the bell walked in saying, “We are finally here.” His wife was still putting on her makeup in their car as it sat in the driveway. After a few minutes she got out of the car, she was very tall, at least six foot and she was wearing a short black skirt with a beautiful cream colored blouse and lots of jewelry. She was also wearing lots of perfume. As soon as she opened her car door I got a strong smell of it. She looked at me and introduced herself, and apologized for being late. I told here it was no problem, and then she went in the house.

I waited another thirty minutes until everyone came back out. The guy in the white suit was carrying two magnums of champagne, one of which was half empty. I opened the car door for him, he asked, “Is there any ice in the limo?”
“Yes, of course, there are two coolers one on each side of the car, the ice is in there.”
He yelled loudly, “AWESOME!”
“ Are you going to that French restaurant in Laguna Beach?”
“Yes, we are.”
I put the divider up so they could have some privacy and away we went. They were talking and laughing and playing with the radio the whole way to the restaurant. As we pulled up someone in the back said, “we’re here” and everything got quiet. When I stopped the car I jumped out, opened the back door, and offered my hand to assist each girl as she exited the limo. I gave Gary, Valerie’s husband a card with my phone number on it and said, “when you’re finished and ready to go give me a call I will be in the area just give me about five minutes to pull the car around to the front of the restaurant.”
“No problem we will be a few hours.”
“There’s no rush, have a great time.”
“Thanks.” Then he hurried off to catch up with the rest of his party.

I thought to myself; I’m in Laguna Beach with hours to kill, what should I do? I drove around looking for the perfect parking spot where I could check out the sights. The scenery in Laguna Beach is picturesque; it’s where the ocean and the mountains meet. There are stretches of beach but there are also cliffs where the ocean smashes up against the rock and the water goes flying straight up into the air. Many artists have made this home because of the beautiful seascape. You can find them sitting along the cliffs painting a beautiful picture. Laguna has that quaint small town style.

I soon realized it wasn’t easy finding a parking spot big enough for a car this long. Finally I found the perfect spot, it was overlooking the ocean and I could also see all the people walking by; I love to people watch. I sat and watched the people walking by as I gazed out at the ocean for more than two hours. Then I thought; I probably should be closer to the restaurant just in case they finish and want to leave.

I drove around the restaurant looking for a parking spot and finally found one about two blocks away, it wasn’t as good as the first one but it would have to do. It was along Pacific Coast Highway, the main road running though Laguna Beach. I could still watch the people walking by. I sat there about 25 minutes, when the phone rang, it was Gary, he sounded very drunk as he was slurring his words. It was hard to understand what he was saying because of the music in the background. I had to ask him to repeat himself several times until I finally made out “we’re ready.” I pulled up to the restaurant; there was no parking so I double-parked.

I sat there about five minutes blocking one lane of PCH hoping a police officer would not come by and tell me to leave. Then I saw one of the ladies coming down the sidewalk carrying her shoes staggering all the way. I got out of the car and called out to her, she smiled, turned and yelled, “I found the Limo” as she staggered over and crawled in the back. Gary was helping his wife walk. He was carrying her shoes as they both staggered to the car. The man in the white suit was behind them laughing hysterically. They all made their way to the limo and climbed in. I shut the door and thought to myself; looks like they had a good time, I’m glad they are not driving. I could see Valerie was already passed out. The other lady was yelling at her husband to stop laughing and Gary said repeatedly, “That was great.” I caught Gary’s eye and he said, “Take us home Mark.”
“You got it” and away we went. Apparently Valerie had way too much to drink and was sick inside the restaurant right on the waiter’s shoes as they were leaving. The guy in the white suit said, “Did you see that guys face when Val yakked on him?” All the way home they were replaying the incident over and over they couldn’t stop laughing. I thought to myself; that’s really disgusting!

We pulled up to the guard gate at Coto De Caza . The guard heard the commotion inside the car and said, “Sounds like they had fun” as he opened the gate. We pulled up to the house, I could hear Gary trying to wake Valerie but he wasn’t successful she was out cold. The other couple crawled out of the limo and staggered towards the house. I told them if they needed a ride home I would take them. He looked at me and said, “No we are going to stay awhile and drink some coffee until I sober up and then I’ll drive home.” Gary was still trying to wake Valerie when I walked over to their side of the car and said, “Looks like you’re going to have to carry her into the house.”
“Yea I think you’re right.”
I helped him get her out of the car and stand her up just long enough so that he could pick her up and put her over his shoulder.

As he walked to the front door I could hear the guy in the white suit starting to laugh again. Gary was staggering to the front door with his wife slung over his shoulder. I said, “I will get her shoes.” When I got to the front door I saw Gary dropping Valerie onto the sofa in the living room, he turned and looked at me. I said, “Here are her shoes and I need you to sign this credit card receipt.” He walked over took the receipt as he was singing it he said, “The guy at your office said there was gratuity included is that correct?”
“Yes, there is a ten percent gratuity added.”
“Oh good” and handed the slip and pen back to me.
“Thank you, have a nice evening,” I said, and I headed back to the limo.

I was driving back to the office, I called three different numbers until Armani answered, he asked, “How did everything go?”
“Fine, but they didn’t give me a tip.”
“Yea some people don’t.”
I thought to myself; I needed to fine a tactful way to tell people that the ten percent gratuity was not given to me and that Armani kept it. Then he said, “Bring the stretch back and take the sedan home I have a run for you tomorrow morning it’s a pick up at LAX at 4:00 am, you should leave your house at 3:00 am.” I thought; wow it’s 9:30 pm now by the time I get home it will be about 10:30 and I have to get up at 2:30 am to leave at 3:00. I’m going to have to drink a lot of caffeine in the morning if I’m going to drive all the way up to LAX and back. I rushed back, switched cars and drove home as fast as I could so I could get some sleep.

At 2:00 am my phone rang. It was Armani, he said, “The flight is an hour early.”
“I’m on my way.” I jumped out of bed and into the shower. I rushed to get dressed and off I went. I thought; I’d get some coffee on the way. The only store open at that hour of the morning was a gas station. I got a large coffee and still don’t know if it was the caffeine or the horrible taste that kept me awake. Whatever it was it worked, I was wide-awake. I called Armani when I arrived at LAX and he told me to stay close to the airport that this was another curbside pickup. I parked just outside LAX and waited, 4:00 am came, no call, then 5:00 am still no call. I decided to call Armani, he said, “they didn’t call yet but as soon as they do I will call you.”

I started getting sleepy as I waited, I must have nodded off because when the phone rang I about jumped out of my skin. It was Armani, “ They are ready to be picked up outside of the international terminal, you should look for a man wearing a red shirt and black jeans, he is with a woman.” I looked at my watch it was ten minutes after 5am.

I found them waiting at the curb outside of the Bradley terminal. They had four suitcases and two sets of golf clubs. I fit three suitcases and both sets of golf clubs in the trunk, the other suitcase I put on the front seat next to me. Shortly after they were in the car and we were on our way they both fell fast asleep. They were going to Dove Canyon, about an hour ride from LAX. As we arrived at the house they were waking up. I welcomed them home as I was unloading their luggage. After they both got out of the car, the man handed me a $20 bill and said, “Thanks for the ride.” I called Armani to tell him I had just dropped off, he told me that I had three more airport runs for the day and tomorrow we were even busier.

The rest of the week was filled with lots of airport transfers; one day I did seven runs in one day, that was a long day. Saturday I did two airport transfers in the morning and Armani told me to go home and get some rest we had a Mercedes Sprinter (Limo van) run starting at 4 pm going until 10. It was a birthday party, and I should be at the office at three o’clock.

I drug myself home got undressed set my alarm for two o’clock and collapsed on the bed. It didn’t take long before I was sleeping. The alarm went off what seemed like five minutes later but it really was about three and a half hours. I crawled out of bed and called Armani and asked, “Did you wash the Sprinter? I am on my way to pick it up and do the birthday party run.”
“No but I will get right on it.”
“I will be there in an hour.”



“****”



THE REAL-ESTATE AGENT

I arrived at the office at three o’clock to pick up the Sprinter and do the birthday party run. This thing was decked out like a Limo inside, 70’s retro style. It had a long J seat that was black and white leather. Opposite the J seat was a bar with mirrors behind it, and the bar held twelve Champaign glasses and eight tumbler glasses and a reservoir for ice. This is where Armani put the soda and water. On either side of the bar counter there was a mounted lava lamp. On the side wall towards the back of the bar was the control center where the passengers could do anything from change the lighting, the temperature, or the music. The ceiling was mirrored with very tiny lights shining through that reminded me of stars in the sky, and they changed colors every few seconds. They went from white to blue to purple to red then yellow and back to white. The back wall of the van had two lighted peace signs, one on either side that also changed colors, strobe lights and laser lights. All the windows in the back had horizontal blinds. The privacy divider between the back and the driver was just a curtain. There was only one problem with the sprinter; it rode like an old pickup truck, very rough and bumpy.

When I was parking the car I saw Armani vacuuming the van, the outside just had been washed. As I approached the van Armani said, “It’s almost ready, all you need to do is get gas and some ice for the cooler in the bar.” I thought; well at least I don’t have to wash and vacuum, no problem I’ll get gas and ice. The sprinter was a diesel so I asked Armani for the Chevron card because Costco doesn’t sell diesel. When I got to the station and tried to use the card it was declined, I called Armani and said, “Your card doesn’t work.”
“Try it again.”
“I just tried it three times it doesn’t work.”
“Put some gas in and pay cash, I’ll pay you back.”
“I don’t have enough cash, you need to come down to the station and pay cash yourself or use another card.” While he was on his way to the station I went in, bought ice and put it in the bar. When he arrived at the gas station he said, “Let me see that card” as he grabbed it from my hand. I guess he didn’t believe me because he had to try it again and of course it didn’t work. I said, “We’re wasting time I need to go it’s almost 3:30.” He pulled out another card; it worked the first time but took almost ten minutes to fill the tank. The bill was over one hundred dollars. My pickup was in Coto De Caza, Armani seemed to have a lot of clients in that exclusive development.


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