Misfit McCabe
by
LK Gardner-Griffie
This book is dedicated to my sister Dana.
She inspired me to write something for the age group we now identify as “tweens”; those who still have both feet firmly in childhood, but are actively looking forward to the exciting phase of being a teenager.
The journey of this book started many years ago, and I am happy to be able to brush the dust off, give it a final few tweaks, and launch it at long last.
Thanks to Pam, Gail, and Diane for helping me fine tune the work. Special thanks to Keely, Emily, Madeleine, and Leo for being the enthusiastic classroom readers and for providing feedback.
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.
Misfit McCabe
LK Gardner-Griffie
Smashwords Edition
ISBN: 978-1-4523-6708-8
Copyright © 2009 LK Gardner-Griffie
Discover other titles by LK Gardner-Griffie at Smashwords.com (http://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/lkgg)
Smashwords Edition, License Notes
This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each person you share it with. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then you should return to Smashwords.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.
All rights reserved.
Revised Copyright © 2007 by LK Gardner-Griffie
Original Copyright © 1984 by LK Gardner-Griffie
The second edition paperback of Misfit McCabe is published under ISBN 978-0-9842383-0-9
Misfit McCabe is the first book in the Misfit McCabe series.
No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system without the written permission of the author, except where permitted by law.
Cover photo by Drew Herron used under creative commons copyright. The use of the photo is in no way an indication of endorsement by Drew Herron of this book. To see more photos by Drew Herron visit: http://dherronphoto.carbonmade.com
Praise for Misfit McCabe
Misfit McCabe is the proud recipient of the Pearson Prize Teen Choice Award.
There is an interesting range of varied emotions from crying to laughing to simply secretly smiling to yourself because you can relate to every turn of events. You should definitely read this book. ~ Student judge in Pearson Prize Teen Choice Award Contest
Move over Judy Blume! McCabe is a New Teen Character for a New Generation. I asked what happened to good ole books like the ones Judy Blume wrote, and with Misfit McCabe, I got my answer! ~ Shannon Yarbrough, the LL Book Review
Many a year has passed since I was a 14 year old year girl so being taken back into the mind of one was a novel experience. And LK Gardner-Griffie does a remarkable job of portraying a teen’s thoughts and emotions through Katie’s narration. I could so relate to Katie McCabe, and so will teens who read Misfit McCabe, and any adult who (honestly) recalls their teen years. ~ Linda Welch, author
I loved Misfit McCabe! The descriptions were amazing. I was glued to Misfit McCabe like a fly stuck to fly tape. ~ Student Reviewer for the Flamingnet Book Review
A story brimming with all the right ingredients for that ‘awkward’ age: growing up, relationships, finding a place in the world…~ Julie Elizabeth Powell, author
Table of Contents
1. The Burning Shed
2. Down on the Farm
3. Friends and Enemies
4. Confessions
5. Sweet Revenge
6. Going Home
7. School Time Troubles
8. False Accusations and Vandalism
9. Abducted
10. On the Home Front
11. Arrival of the Cavalry
Cast of Characters
Katie McCabe - A fourteen year old rebel with a history of trying to run away from home. She is sent to live with relatives and is determined to cause as many problems as she can.
Sam McCabe - Katie’s father and the sheriff of a microscopic town. He was the youngest of seven brothers who spread the McCabe reputation far and wide. The hardest decision he ever had to make was the one to send Katie to live with his brother.
Charley McCabe - The oldest of the McCabe brothers, he runs a construction company and owns a small farm. A strict disciplinarian, Katie sees his softer side when she needs it most.
Matthew McCabe - Charley’s oldest son who reminds Katie of her own father, especially when times get tough.
Mark McCabe - Resembling his own father more, Mark has more of a rebel spirit that Katie can identify with.
Sarah McCabe - A daughter of one of the other McCabe brothers, she came to live with Uncle Charley eleven years ago. She helps Katie deal with all of the changes in her life.
Timmy Lawrence - Katie’s best friend and partner in crime. Wherever trouble was found, the two of them would be together.
Harriet Denton - Sarah’s friend and employer, she owns a gift shop downtown.
H.L. Denton - He owns the bank and most of the businesses in town and his son doesn’t let anyone forget it.
Harvey Denton, Jr. - A peer of Katie’s who takes pleasure in trying to make her angry. A contest of revenge develops between the two.
Jim Baines - A deputy sheriff and Sarah’s boyfriend. He catches Katie when she is breaking the law.
Tom Pike - A High School Junior and member of the football team, Tom is Katie’s first friend in town, and wants to make sure he’s the best one.
Emma Carter - The only person at school who can stand Harvey’s presence for any length of time. When Tom shows his interest in Katie, Emma conspires with Harvey to frame Katie for something she didn’t do.
The Burning Shed
“You know I’ll swear it was all my idea.”
“But, Katie, it was all your idea.” Tim reached behind his back and pulled out a flask. “Except for this.”
“Are you getting sly on me, Timmy Lawrence?” He never tried anything without checking it out with me first. “What’s in it?” Other than something to get us both into trouble.
He shrugged one shoulder and leaned back against the side of the shed. “Oh, nothing much. Just a little rum to go with the cokes I brought.” He cracked open a can and handed it to me. “Drink some out, so I can spice it up for you.”
Swallowing as much as I could in a mouthful, I passed the can back to him. “What made you think of this?” A new Timmy was emerging, and I didn’t know exactly how to handle him.
He grinned as he concentrated on pouring the rum into the coke. “I figured if we were going to start smoking, we might as well mark the occasion with a drink of celebration.” He doctored his drink and set the flask on the ground. “Anyway, you’re always saying I never come up with my own ideas. So I did.”
“I’ll say. And what an idea.” I saw the faint flush of pride on Tim’s cheeks.
Although the afternoon sun shone brightly, the inside of the shed remained dark. The only light filtered through the cracks in the walls. We kept the light off to keep from attracting any attention, not that we would. Even with the lights on and the door open, the shed was hidden from the house. And people were used to seeing me on the property because I helped Mr. Pickford with the care of his animals.
Tim held up his can. “Cheers.”
I jumped off the hay bale to click cans with his and accidentally knocked the flask over. “Oh Timmy, I’m sorry.” I grabbed it and stood it upright. “I only spilled a little.” Nervously, I looked at him.
“Forget it. I should have put the cap back on.” He held his can back up in the air. “To our adventure in smoking.”
This time we clinked without mishap and I took a big swig of my drink. Shivers scurried up and down my spine and my face felt flushed.
Having watched other smokers do it, I smacked the pack of cigarettes on my palm and took two out. Sticking one in the corner of my mouth, I handed the other to Tim. “Light me.”
Timmy tore out a match. “Just a warning, my dad smokes strong ones.” He struck the match watched and it flare. “Here you go.” He held the burning match toward me.
Not wanting to gag, I didn’t inhale all the way on my first puff. I had an image to preserve. Timmy struck another match and held it to the end of his cigarette. Though he tried not to, he coughed. I took another drag, a little deeper this time. I figured I’d ease into really smoking. I snatched the matches Tim dropped.
“It’s interesting how people get engrossed in watching a flame.” I lit one and stared at it while it flickered. Right before it burned my fingers I shook it out and dropped it. Lighting another, I held it in front of Tim’s eyes. “What do you think about when you stare at it?”
He gazed at it without answering. Watching his face, I wondered about our changing relationship. Timmy had been my best friend for as long as I remembered, but now he wanted more and I wasn’t sure I did. Both of us were fourteen and not understanding the changes we were going through.
“Ouch!” I flung the match away from me as it burned my fingers. I looked at where it fell to make sure it had gone out. I turned back and looked in to Timmy’s gray eyes. “So, what do you think about when you stare at a flame?”
Tim stroked his jaw and gave a little half shrug. “I don’t know, I think I kind of stop thinking when I stare at a flame. It mesmerizes me.” Timmy moved next to me on the hay bale. “Katie, are you still going to be friends with me once we start high school?”
What kind of question was that? “Of course, we’ll still be friends. You’re my best friend, and nothing, not even starting a new school, is going to change that.” I bumped my shoulder against his. “Don’t be ridiculous.”
Timmy looked at his sneakers as drummed them against the hay bale we sat on. “I just thought you might make all sorts of new friends and wouldn’t need me to hang out with anymore.”
“Hey, look at me.”
Timmy gave me sideways glance.
“If any new so-called friends are not friends with you too, then I don’t need them. Any new friends I have will want to be friends with you. You are a great guy and don’t let anyone tell you any differently.”
As Tim straightened, I heard a crackling sound from behind. Tim looked at me and his eyes got big. Smoke overpowered the smell of the cigarettes.
I spun around. The dry hay caught fire and the flames raged. It must’ve started from the match I thought had gone out. Grabbing Timmy’s hand, I followed my instincts and ran.
I wanted to get as far away as possible, but I lost Tim. Turning around, I saw him looking back at the shed. “Timmy! Come on! We’ve got to get out of here.”
Tim shook his head. “Katie, we have to try and put it out.”
“Are you crazy? If we stick around here, we’ll get caught.” We didn’t even have anything to put it out with. But he did have a point. If we let it go, it would burn more than the shed. Mr. Pickford’s entire farm would be at risk, as well as the whole town, if it got out of control. “How are we going to put it out? It’ll be burned down by the time I can get a pail of water back here.”
“How should I know? You’re supposed to be the brainy one with all the bright ideas.”
Timmy sounded angry, but I knew it was fear talking. And I didn’t blame him, the fire scared me, too. “Okay, I’m thinking.” Or trying to. “We gotta call the fire department.” Brilliant. “Run to the nearest phone and call. Say we were just passing by or something.” Please, whatever you do, don’t say I set the place on fire. “Then see if you can get a shovel and get back here as fast as you can.” I should have saved my breath because Timmy dashed off before I finished.
I turned around and faced the burning shed once more. What could be done while waiting for help to come? At least the flames hadn’t burned through the door yet. Running over to a young tree, I broke off a long, leafy branch. I placed my hands on the outside of the shed door to feel for heat. The weathered wood still felt cool to the touch. Stepping to one side I balanced on one foot, kicked the door in, and jumped back. When no flames shot out, I looked inside. The entire floor looked like an inferno. I beat the blaze closest to me.
Sweating from the intense heat, I smacked the flames in a losing battle. My eyes and throat stung from the smoke and I felt like help would never come. After I singed the first branch completely, I ran back and grabbed another branch and continued flogging the flames.
“Help is on the way!” Timmy thrust a shovel into my hands. “Someone should be here any minute.”
I threw the branch away and shoveled dirt on the flames. Someone better come in a hurry. We shoveled dirt and beat the fire until our arms screamed for relief, but it burned faster than Timmy and I could control. I drew my arm across my face in an attempt to keep the sweat from running into my eyes.
Part of the shed wall caught fire and I concentrated on trying to extinguish it. My lungs burned from the smoke and I coughed with each thrust of the shovel. The stinging of my eyes gave way to blurred vision from the combination of sweat and smoke. My head ached and I felt lightheaded.
Relief drenched me when a siren sounded in the distance. In moments we were surrounded by the helpers of the volunteer fire department. Thank goodness the whole shed didn’t burn to the ground. In what seemed like minutes, the fire was out.
I jammed my shovel into the ground and took a deep breath of the char scented air.
“Katherine Elizabeth McCabe!”
Daddy. My heart seemed to stop and I got a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach. I braced myself before turning around.
“Hi, Dad.” I should have known he’d have to show up. “Little bit of a fire, wouldn’t you say?”
He frowned. “What did you have to do with this?”
“I can’t believe it. You automatically assume I had something to do with the fire.” Maybe if I played enough of the injured innocent, he would believe it. “You never give me the benefit of the doubt.”
Placing his hands on his hips, his blue eyes pierced straight into mine. “Are you through with that nonsense?”
He definitely didn’t buy it. “All right! I’m guilty.” I shot my arms straight out in front of me. “Cuff me and take me away.” I would be better off in jail than if he took me home. At least at the jail, he’d be on the other side of the bars.
Grabbing my wrists, he pulled me away from the crowd. Struggling to maintain some dignity, I yanked my wrists from his grasp.
Sparks seemed to kindle in his blue eyes. “You will keep a civil tongue in your head.” His tight leashed anger frayed. “Half the town is congregated here and you have to show how little respect you hold for me and my position as sheriff. I’ve had enough.”
Oops. I definitely overstepped my boundaries this time. I couldn’t look him in the face. “I’m sorry.” Barely able to mumble the apology, I steeled myself for the questions which were sure to come.
His square jaw set as he took a deep breath. “How did the fire start?” The question came almost gently, but then restrained anger came through. “And I don’t want any padding to make yourself or anyone else look better.”
His middle two fingers rubbed the area between his eyebrows, the way they did every time he got perturbed with me.
“I also know whatever happened, Tim was right there with you.”
In other words, don’t alter the facts. I’d say one thing for my dad, he sure knew me well. And he never gave me an inch. “It all started as a kind of experiment.”
He raised an eyebrow. “Tell it straight.”
I glanced away. “I wanted to try smoking and convinced Timmy we’d look real cool if we learned how.” Daddy would blow sky high with this one. “So we met in Mr. Pickford’s shed, and when I goofed around with the matches, I accidentally lit some hay on fire.” Daddy’s silence became ominous. The quieter Daddy got, the more trouble I would be in. “Then, I guess I panicked. I should have put it out then, but I ran instead.”
I couldn’t bring myself to tell him about the rum. He’d have a heart attack or something. “Everything in there was so dry the fire raged out of control in no time.” Would a few tears at this point help my case? Not a chance. “Timmy and I did everything we could. I’m sorry.” I ran out of things to say as Daddy’s silence deepened. After a minute, I squirmed.
“Katie, you need to apologize to Mr. Pickford…”
My favorite thing to do in the world.
“…and tell him you will pay for the damages.”
There went my savings. I’d probably have to enter indentured slavery before paying it off.
“I have to finish things here and file the report. Then I’ll be home.”
And I’d be history.
“We’ll sit down and talk this whole thing out.”
Translation, he would tan my hide. I doubted sitting would be on my list of activities in the near future.
“Now get going.” He gave me a swat. “I want to get this finished as soon as possible.”
After I apologized to Mr. Pickford and promised to pay for the damages, I slogged across the field. This had to be the worst trouble I’d been in, in my life. I heard the pounding of running feet coming close behind me.
“Katie! Wait up.”
I stopped to let Tim reach me.
“So what’s the verdict? I saw your dad with you.”
Who hadn’t? “I probably won’t be able to do anything for a while. He’s pretty upset.” The biggest understatement of the summer. “I’m supposed to go straight home and wait for him.” I felt like part of the punishment was the waiting in agony to find out how much trouble I’d be in. I glanced at Timmy who looked as grubby as I felt. “Why do we always get caught?”
Tim shrugged. “We have that kind of luck, I guess. Is your dad going to file a report?”
I nodded. “He has to. Destruction of property is pretty heavy duty, even for us.”
Timmy slouched. “My old man’s gonna love this one. He’ll hit the roof, but the only thing he’ll care about is who is going to pay for it.”
“Tell him not to worry. I’ve already been instructed it’s coming out of my pocket.” I glanced around. “Look, I’ve got to get going or my dad will give me an extra ration for disobedience.” One of his watchwords. “I’ll give you a call when I can.”
When I got home, I took off my shoes before going in the house. My clothes had soot all over them. I wanted to take a shower before Daddy came home. I grabbed a change of clothes and went into the bathroom. I not only had soot streaked across my face, but it darkened my blonde hair too.
It felt so good to get in the shower and to let the hot water run over my body. Washing my hair, I relaxed for the first time since the fire broke out. My thoughts kept floating back to the fire. I felt like I’d forgotten something.
“Oh, no!” My head jerked up. “The flask.” I didn’t grab it before running out of the shed. Daddy wouldn’t overlook it for a second. I definitely had more trouble than I bargained for. I quickly finished my shower.
I had to think of a way out of this one. Daddy would either ground me for the next four years or send me off to boarding school. I couldn’t cope with either alternative. Glancing at the clock, I realized it wouldn’t be much longer before he got home. I didn’t have much time.
A tiny voice at the back of my brain told me to take off. Not forever. Just until his anger had a chance to cool a little. Grabbing my knapsack from the hall closet, I ran to my room. I didn’t have any time to waste. If I stuck around too long, I wouldn’t have a good enough head start. I made the mistake last time of not leaving soon enough, and I didn’t want to repeat it.
After throwing a few clothes and some food in the bag, I took my money out of the shoe box in the closet and ran out the door. The town was so small it didn’t take long to come to the edge. Flat, open country surrounded the town for miles, and it contained no place to hide. If I stuck close to the road, I would be caught for sure. I had to cross the whole territory before Daddy started searching for me.
My side ached after running for an hour and my lungs burned with every breath. Each step felt like it would be my last, but I knew I had to keep going. Still a long way from any hope of a hiding place, I couldn’t afford to slow my pace. The sun sank in the sky which happened to be the only thing in my favor at the moment.
Half an hour later, the sun dipped below the horizon and twilight deepened. The heat of the day cooled. I slowed to a walk, not able to run any longer. Marathons would never be my strong point. I’d covered a lot of distance though, which gave me a good feeling inside. I needed to make it to another town, it didn’t matter where.
An uneasy feeling made me turn around. I saw the far-off beam of a flashlight. Daddy. I fell to the ground and lay still. Hopefully the grass would be tall enough to hide me. If I ran, he would see the movement and catch me in minutes. My heart raced and breathing softly became increasingly difficult. The dry grass had an almost hay-like smell and it made me feel like sneezing.
A footstep sounded to my left. Holding my breath, I closed my eyes hoping against hope Daddy would pass by. The beam of the flashlight on my face shattered that hope.
“Get up, Katie.” He put his hand out to help me. “Let’s go home.”
No yelling? No lecture? I must be in worse trouble than I’d imagined. If Daddy were talking, I knew he would at least be blowing off some steam. We walked back to where he parked the car and he drove us home in silence.
“Daddy?”
He held his hand up. “Wait until we get back to the house.” Great. Suffer in silence. He must be furious. When we pulled into the drive, the car barely stopped before I got out and ran into the house.
“Katie, please come out here.”
I stuck my hands in my pockets and slowly walked into the living room. “I thought you’d want me in my room.” That’s where punishment usually got dealt out.
“Sit down, please. We have a lot to talk about.”
Dumbfounded, I sat on the couch. “You don’t want me to get the helper?” I couldn’t believe this.
He shook his head. “We don’t need it.”
“What happened to ‘spare the rod and spoil the child’?” The words dripped with sarcasm. “Or are you finally admitting I’m too old to be spanked?” I knew I was getting in deeper, but I couldn’t stop myself. “Or maybe I’m not deserving enough this time.”
“Stop.” The word burst from him with anguish.
Uh-oh, I may have pushed him too far. I practically begged to be punished which was crazy.
“I’ve been thinking a lot about you lately, and what’s best for you.”
That didn’t sound very good for me.
“I’ve done the best I could.” He sat in his leather armchair. “But, I don’t think it’s enough anymore.”
Pain clouded his blue eyes and it made me feel terrible, worse than any spanking.
“You must think so too, otherwise you wouldn’t have run off.”
“Daddy, it’s not you.” How could he think that? “I don’t know what’s wrong with me.” My emotions seemed to be all over the place lately. “But I’m the problem.”
“Why did you run off?” He put the question very quietly.
To avoid some hassle. “I don’t know.”
Daddy waited for me to continue.
“I knew you were angry, and I didn’t want to deal with it.” I swallowed hard. “I’d have come back after you cooled down.”
His head bowed. “I wanted us always to be able to talk things out. But if you’re afraid of me…” His voice trailed off.
“I’m not afraid of you, Daddy. I left because I knew I was wrong.” And I didn’t feel like paying for the consequences of my actions. “That and I feel so restless sometimes I don’t know what to do.”
Daddy raised his head. “In other words, you’re restless because you’re not happy at home.”
“That’s not it. It’s this God-forsaken hole of a place we live in.”
Daddy’s face looked like a thunder-cloud for a minute. “I don’t like to hear you talk that way.”
I couldn’t meet his glare. “I’m sorry, Daddy.” I looked at my shoes, and my cheeks burned a little. “I don’t want to live here for the rest of my life.” I felt like I was under a microscope in this town. “Here, the biggest news of the week is which way the wind is blowing the fumes from the Farley’s outhouse.”
I stood. “I know you like it here, but I want to see what the world has to offer.” I paced. “This place is so close, with everybody knowing everybody else’s business, I feel like I can’t breathe sometimes.” My breath came harder and faster because just the thought of the town made me feel claustrophobic.
“That’s one of the reasons I’m sending you to live with your Uncle Charley.”
“What!” Stopping in my tracks, my mouth dropped open, I couldn’t believe my ears. I didn’t want to be sent away.
“You need to be looked after a little better.”
“Don’t tell me you’ve been listening to those idiots who think you don’t take care of me very well.”
“Now calm down a minute.”
I guess I got a little excited. Some people thought Daddy should leave his office of sheriff to look after me better just because I got into mischief from time to time.
Daddy stared straight into my eyes with a serious look on his face. “While you know for the most part I don’t agree with them, lately I’m beginning to think they may have a point. Let’s take this afternoon as a prime example. Accidentally burning down a shed because you’re experimenting with cigarettes and alcohol might make some people argue you need a little firmer parental control.”
I sat on the couch feeling as if I had been hit in the stomach.
“Yes, I found the flask.” He stood and rubbed his forehead again. “Katie, I don’t know what to do with you anymore. I tried to raise you with a good, upright background and you seem to be rejecting everything I ever taught you.” He bit his lip. “Maybe in a different atmosphere you can straighten back out.”
I felt like crying. “I’ll straighten out. You don’t have to send me away.”
He shook his head. “There are things I can’t give you. And I’m not talking about material things.” He sounded serious. “My little girl is growing up, and I think you need a woman around. If your Mamma was still alive, things would be different.” His voice got kind of choky sounding, the way it did whenever he talked about Mamma.
She died in a car accident when I was a baby. A drunk driver hit her and she died from the impact. Daddy moved us to this little town in the middle of nowhere after she died.
“Daddy? I thought Aunt Libby died in the same accident as Mamma.”
Daddy’s face went blank, and his eyes had a frozen look about them. “She did.”
He didn’t like talking about Mamma’s death. “Did Uncle Charley get remarried?”
“No. My brother John’s girl, Sarah, lives there. In fact, she’s been living there a number of years now.”
Good for her.
“I think she’ll be a good influence on you.”
How did he know? As far as I knew, he hadn’t visited his brother for years. “But Daddy, I don’t want to go. Let me stay here. I’ll behave myself. I give you my word.”
“You sure changed your mind in a hurry. An hour ago, you were running away. You couldn’t wait to get out of this place.”
I stood and walked over to the picture of Daddy and me on the mantle. Daddy had me on his back for a piggy-back race, my cheek laid next to his, both smiling and happy because we won the race. “That’s different.” My voice had an edge to it, a harshness, because I felt like crying, and didn’t want to. Crying meant weakness, and I didn’t want to be weak in front of Daddy.
I took a slow deep breath. “I wanted to leave here, but I didn’t want to be sent away.” My finger traced the frame of the picture. “I just wanted to be gone for a few days, a week at the most, and give you a chance to cool down some.” Continuing to rub the picture frame, I felt my control become firmer. “I knew you wouldn’t like me trying smoking. But everything I’ve known firsthand has been in this town, and it all amounts to nothing.” I turned back to face Daddy. “I want to experience life. I feel like it’s passing me by here.”
“There’s time enough to grow up and experience life. You should enjoy your childhood.”
Yeah, yeah, yeah. He always said I should wait to grow up. I didn’t want to wait.
“And there are smarter things to do.”
Something else he always said. “There wasn’t anything to do, and I wanted to try something different.”
Daddy frowned. “Boredom does not excuse your actions. You have a good brain in that head of yours, and lately you’ve been acting without using it.”
My fingers tapped the edge of the couch. “I never said boredom was an excuse.” I hated when he put words into my mouth. “And I did use my brain.”
“Really? Let’s take a look at the results.”
“I know what happened.” My anger smoldered. “I didn’t think I would burn the shed down. It was an accident.”
He pointed his finger at me. “Exactly what I’m telling you. You’re not thinking through the consequences of your actions.” He slapped the back of one hand on to his outstretched palm. “You are a McCabe and you have got to start acting like one. For once, take responsibility for your actions upon yourself. I can’t do it for you.”
That did it. “I never asked to be a McCabe and I wish to God I was never born one.” Life certainly would have been easier. “It’s not fair I have to be a certain way just because of my last name.” I wanted to hurt Daddy and I knew this would. “Someone up there screwed up when they sent me to this family, because I don’t belong.”
“Enough Katherine.”
Daddy spoke softly, but I knew by the tone in his voice I’d better stop.
“Daddy, I’m trying to make you understand something. The McCabes have a reputation I didn’t have anything to do with.” And I didn’t want any part of it either. “I’m never allowed to just be Katie. No matter what I do, I’m measured by a standard I can’t live up to.”
McCabes stood tall, did the right thing, helped others in need before thinking of themselves, and were kind, gentle, moral, and spiritual leaders wherever they went. I looked at the floor. “Maybe that’s why I seem to go out of my way to get into trouble. I want to be known for myself, not some family I don’t even know.”
The McCabe reputation stretched for miles. Even in my town folks knew of it. I don’t think the reputation would have been quite so strong or widespread if my grandparents hadn’t had seven boys, all of whom went out of their way to prove the McCabe reputation true.
“Daddy, I don’t want to leave you.” I loved him too much. “I’ll even try to be like a McCabe if it will make you love me enough to keep me here.”
Daddy’s eyes softened and a tremor ran across his cheek. Then, he reached out, took my hand gently in his, and pulled me closer to him. “Katie, sweetheart, it’s because I love you so much I want you to go live with your Uncle Charley.”
Tears welled in my eyes. “I can’t believe you don’t want me anymore.”
Hugging me close, he stroked my hair. “I do want you. This has been the hardest decision I’ve ever had to make.” He held me tight for a moment.
“There’s another reason for my decision and I need you to listen because it is difficult enough for me to say.” He took a deep breath. “I haven’t been feeling well so I went to the doctor. He thinks I’m very sick and needs to put me through a bunch of tests. I’ll have to spend some time in the hospital and need someone to look after you while I’m going through all of this, because I won’t be able to. Please trust me. This is the best for you.”
I pulled my head back to look into his eyes. “But if you’re sick, then I should be with you to take care of you.”
He gently shook his head.
The tears spilled over, and I buried my head in his chest. “Couldn’t I go for a visit instead then, until you’re better?”
“No, a visit won’t do. School starts next week, and I want you to be enrolled there.”
I pulled away from Daddy and flopped back onto the couch.
“Sulking won’t do you any good. Your Uncle Charley suggested you go live with him over a month ago. He thought it would be a good idea for you to get settled in before school started, but I didn’t want to let go of you yet.”
“You knew for over a month you were going to send me away, and you’re just telling me now?” That might even be the worst hurt of all.
“No, let me explain. Your uncle suggested the move when I talked to him about how to handle how wild you’ve been getting, but I told him no. Charley told me to think about it.” He brushed the bangs back from my eyes. “As I felt worse and worse throughout the summer, Charley told me the offer was still out there to give me a chance to get back on my feet.”
Daddy stroked my cheek.
“I couldn’t face letting you go. But when the doctor gave me the results of my tests, I realized I had to face it. I need to know you are being taken care of by someone who loves you so I can concentrate on getting better for both of us.”
We argued back and forth. Or I should say, I argued and Daddy stayed calm, but didn’t budge an inch.
“You’d better get packed because we have to get to the bus stop. And you’re going, whether I have to put you on it kicking and screaming or not.”
When Daddy got that certain tone in his voice, and his jaw looked like it had been carved in granite, I knew it was useless to argue.
My packing consisted of throwing my clothes into an old battered suitcase. I looked around and tried to decide whether I needed to take anything else. In my room I had very few things and an overabundance of one. Books. My bookcase bulged with them. I put shelves on the walls to hold them, and even then they overflowed. I had to take some books with me, in case Uncle Charley didn’t have any I liked. I quickly pulled five favorites off the shelf, put them in the suitcase, and closed the lid.
I stomped into the next room dragging my suitcase behind. I never thought of myself as sentimental, but looking around the room brought a lump to my throat. My gaze slid over the worn, faded couch where Daddy and I spent many hours together, the fireplace where we toasted bag after bag of marshmallows, and the plaques on the wall Daddy earned from the town. Everything looked worn, perhaps a little shabby, nothing new or shiny, but homey and loved.
My eyes stopped when they came to Daddy’s face. His face looked gray and old, and a shock ran through my body. Had I done that to him? Was it his illness? Why hadn’t I noticed it sooner? When younger, I used to think God must look exactly like my daddy; big, tall, blonde, with a twinkle in his blue eyes, and a smile on his face. His very presence seemed to make trouble disappear. Daddy could do any and everything. Daddy was my hero, stronger than Hercules, mightier than Superman, yet more gentle and kind than all the superheroes put together. In my eyes, Greek mythological gods lacked sparkle when compared with Daddy.
By the time I finished packing, it was time to leave for the bus station. The sky grew misty gray with the arrival of dawn. When Daddy drove me to the bus station, the silence between us hung as heavy as a steel anchor. Neither one of us said anything until the bus rolled in. Daddy broke the silence first.
“Do you have everything?”
I nodded.
“Here’s your ticket.” He held it out to me. “Have Uncle Charley give me a call when you get there.” The bus horn honked. “I guess this is good-bye for now. Be good. I’ll come to see you as soon as all my tests are done, to see how you’re doing.” He hugged me tight.
I twisted out of his grasp, grabbed my bag and stalked on to the bus without a word. I wanted to throw myself into his arms and not let go. I wanted him to tell me everything was going to be okay, but he couldn’t. The longer I would’ve waited, the harder it would’ve been to go, and my throat constricted so I couldn’t speak. Besides, white hot anger burned inside me. And fear, the little voice deep inside seemed to say. I didn’t know it was possible to have so many emotions flooding through me at the same time.
As soon as I found my seat, the bus pulled out of the station. Miserable, I looked out my window and watched Daddy until he became a tiny speck on the horizon.
The bus rattled and bumped its way down the road, the seats creaked, and the sides seemed to groan more with every mile. The windows didn’t stay shut, so my mouth felt as dry as cotton from the dust pouring in, and the heat of the day made the bus feel like the inside of an oven. I felt cranky from lack of sleep, and my eyes felt gritty and burned from the dust.
At least I had the seat to myself, and could sit through the long ride without someone interrupting my thoughts. What a sight I must be for the other passengers, my arms folded across my chest, a scowl for an expression, and my long, blonde hair hanging in my face. I crouched low in the seat and thrust my knees against the back of the seat in front of me. I didn’t want to make this trip, and didn’t care what anyone else thought about me either.
How could Daddy send me away from him, especially when he was sick? What if he didn’t get better? I didn’t even want to think about the possibility. He had to get better, he just had to. The motion of the bus, along with my sleepless night, soon lulled me to sleep.
Down on the Farm
The bus hit a big rut in the road and bounced me into wakefulness. My head ached and the argument Daddy and I had played over and over in my mind. I needed to quit dwelling on the past and start thinking about what I would face ahead. All I knew about Uncle Charley, his two sons Matthew and Mark, and Sarah was from the stories Daddy told me. And they bore the name of McCabe, which meant they probably upheld the McCabe reputation. With every bump in the road, I got closer to the home of the McCabe boys. I wished I could change my name so people would accept me for who I was, instead of forcing me into the McCabe mold.
The bus finally rolled to a stop at the station, if it could be called that. A flat wooden bench set in the dirt to the side of the road. Before the bus came to a complete stop, I stood, grabbed my bag from the overhead, and walked to the front. The door hardly had a chance to open, when a man hopped on board.
“Katie McCabe?”
I nodded and brushed the hair out of my eyes.
“I’m your cousin Matthew.”
He grinned, and I stood at the top of the stairs frozen to the spot, absolutely speechless. My cousin Matthew looked exactly like my daddy in some of the pictures I had seen of him as a young man. I don’t know what I expected. Some weak little guy I guess, but not someone so big or good-looking.
“Well, don’t just stand there, we don’t have all day. And I’m sure the driver wants to get on with his trip too.” He reached up. “Here, let me help you.”
As he lifted me off the bus, I noticed how wonderfully his muscles flexed. He definitely wasn’t weak. “If you have all your things, I’ll take you out to the farm, then I have to get back to work.”
“Farm?” What else didn’t Daddy tell me?
Matthew tossed my suitcase into the trunk, and slammed the lid. “It’s a small one, but Dad likes to work on it in his spare time. We all help out too. Sarah’s out there waiting for you. She’ll help you get settled in. And in a couple hours Mark, Dad, and I will be back.”
We got into the car and Matthew guided it away from the open-air station and onto the road.
“The farm doesn’t happen to be in the middle of town does it?” I felt let down. Forced to come, I at least wanted to be where something might happen, not stuck out in the middle of fields.
“No, the farm isn’t in town, thank goodness. We’re not too far from it though.” He glanced at me before turning at the crossroads. “Close enough I’d say.”
I turned and looked out the window. Hills of deep green and contrasting gray-green stood all around, covered with beautiful trees. The sunlight hit an occasional meandering brook, and it sparkled like a river of jewels. All the scenery looked like it belonged in a painting.
Matthew spoke after a moment, almost as if he read my thoughts. “It sure is beautiful isn’t it? It kind of makes you feel peaceful, at least it does me. I guess that’s why I like living out here, instead of around so many buildings.” He turned the car off the road onto a little lane.
Rounding a curve, I saw the house. A trickle of despair pooled in my stomach. I had reached my unwanted destination.
“Well, here we are. Welcome to the McCabe farm.”
A nice, cheery looking place, white with blue trim and a long wooden porch, and a porch swing to go with it. As we came to a stop, a beautiful girl came out of the front door. She wore a simple peasant style blouse and skirt, and moved with grace and ease. She made me feel clumsy and not put together quite right.
I stepped out of the car and trudged toward the house. Matthew strode past with my bag. As I followed, it hit me—I didn’t want to be here at all.
“The bus was a little late, so I grabbed Katie and we came straight here.” Matthew turned his head toward me. “Sarah’ll be able to show you where everything is.”
I didn’t want to know. I wanted to get back on the bus and go home.
As I approached the door, Sarah gave me big hug of welcome. “I’m so glad you’ve come to live with us, Katie, I could hardly wait for you to get here.”
I knew the time for battle had come. If I didn’t want to stay here, I would have to be as awful as possible, so they’d send me back home. I strove to make my voice icy and rude. “First of all, you can stop being so sickeningly sweet. The only reason I am here is by force. I hate this place, I don’t want to be here, and I wish to God I had never laid eyes on you.”
Then I brushed past her on into the house, but not before I caught the look of dismay she exchanged with Matthew. As I walked into the house, I had a smile on my face and a sense of triumph in my heart. I knew I had scored.
Sarah followed me into the house. “Matt had to get back to work. Grab your bag, and I’ll show you to our room.”
“Our room? Does this mean I actually have to share a room with you?”
Sarah seemed determined to ignore the bite of my words. “Oh, don’t worry. It’s a pretty good-sized room.”
I looked straight into her big, green eyes. “It’s not the size of the room that bothers me. It’s the roommate I have to share it with.”
Sarah pressed her lips tightly together and looked away, and I knew I had scored again. By keeping up the rude comments, I’d get under her skin in no time.
We walked through the door and into the room. I put an expression on my face like I had tasted something awful. “I can’t live in this room.”
Suspicion sprang into Sarah’s eyes as she turned toward me. “Why not?”
I looked around as if trying to find the precise words to sum it up. “It’s so prissy-looking, I could vomit.” Actually, it looked nice. Dainty flowered wallpaper and matching bedspreads, a vase of flowers on the chest of drawers, frilly white curtains at the window, and everything spic and span clean.
“Well, get used to it. You can’t share a room with the boys, and besides Uncle Charley’s, this is the only other bedroom.”
I narrowed my eyes and drew out my words to give them punch. “I’d rather sleep in a barn.”
She raised one eyebrow as her eyes sparked. “That can be arranged.”
I forgot when you lived on a farm you couldn’t offer to sleep in the barn unless you were serious. By the tone of her voice I knew I’d skated on to thin ice.
“The bed in the corner, the right half of the closet, and the middle two drawers of the dresser are yours.”
I put my suitcase on my bed and opened it. I didn’t want to unpack and put my things in this strange bedroom. It seemed too sudden, too fast for me to be here with everything ready for me. Unpacking would make it real and I would have to face the unthinkable. Daddy being either too sick to take care of me or so fed up with my bad behavior he’d willingly give me up.
“How long have you known I’d be coming?” The small, vulnerable sounding voice didn’t even seem like mine.
“Uncle Charley told us you would be coming over a month ago, but he wasn’t sure of the exact date. Yesterday he told us you would arrive today. We’ve been anxiously waiting ever since.” Sarah stood behind me and put a sympathetic hand on my shoulder.
Glancing at the contents of my suitcase, I felt inadequate again. I twitched my shoulder and turned to look her straight in the eyes. “After all that anticipation, I must be a major disappointment.”
Sarah opened her mouth as if to say something.
“If you say otherwise, you’re either a hypocrite or a fool.” I was getting good at being snotty.
She quickly clamped her mouth shut, and her eyes narrowed.
“What did Uncle Charley tell you about me? And what reasons did he give for me to come live here?” Part of me didn’t want the answer my tone demanded. I didn’t want to hear Daddy was too sick. I didn’t want to hear he didn’t want me anymore.
Sarah hesitated and took a deep breath. “I don’t think it’s my place to say anything. You should ask Uncle Charley if you want to know.”
“What a cop out. I hate people who play it safe.” Why couldn’t she tell me anyway? “I can guess some of it at least. I’m always in trouble and Daddy couldn’t handle me, so I had to be sent away.” I raked my bangs out of my face. “They decided I needed a motherly touch, and you’re it. What a laugh! I wouldn’t listen to you if you were my grandmother, let alone just a cousin.”
Sarah pulled her head back and blinked her eyes as if I tried to hit her. “That’s enough.” Then her lips tightened, and anger sparked again in her eyes. It made them look like flashing emeralds. “You need to get a grip on yourself and shape up if you want to live here.”
I turned back to the bed and dumped the contents of my suitcase out. “My point exactly, Sarah. I don’t want to live here.” I slammed the suitcase closed and slid it under the bed, then turned to face her again.
“You say you’ve known about my coming here for over a month. Well, I found out about the move last night. I was forced to come and I don’t want to be here.”
“Since you are here, Katie, I suggest you make the best of it. If you have any questions, I’ll be in the kitchen fixing supper. When you finish unpacking, I will expect your help.”
She spun on her heel and strode out of the room. My small pile of clothes looked pathetic heaped on the bed. Opening my side of the closet, I noticed Sarah had stocked it with padded hangers, something I’d never had before. I hung up the one dress I brought with me. I had more dresses, but at home there seemed to be no reason to wear them, and I didn’t think to bring the rest of them along. The dress looked silly hanging there alone, so I grabbed my shirts and put them in the closet too. It took very little time to put everything away, so I went out to the kitchen, as commanded.
Sarah stood against the sunny yellow background of the kitchen, looking prettier than ever, if possible. Her long, wavy, chestnut locks had been pulled back into a loose ponytail tied with a cream colored scarf. Intent on stirring something in a pan, head slightly bent forward, her long, thick, dark lashes almost rested on her cheeks, which were flushed from the steam. My stomach grumbled in protest as I caught a whiff of steak being cooked. It smelled so good, I could almost taste it.
At the sound of my stomach, Sarah gave me a big friendly smile. It would be harder than I first thought to be mean to her. When someone showed they had true sweetness in them, like Sarah, it seemed more difficult to do something rotten to them. True sweetness was something no one would ever accuse me of having.
“You’re just in time to help me out. Everything is almost ready, and Uncle Charley and the boys should be home any minute.” A quick frown crossed her face as she continued to look at me. “We need to get your hair out of the way before you start. I’ve got another scarf. Come here, and I’ll tie your hair back like mine.”
After tying the scarf in my hair, she turned me around to take another look, and smiled. “Much better. Now, there’s lettuce, celery, and carrots in the vegetable drawer, if you’ll make a salad I’d sure appreciate it. After you make the salad, the table needs to be set, then we should be able to eat.”
I needed to hear that. Starving didn’t capture how hungry I felt, and the smells from the cooking food drove me nearly crazy. I hadn’t eaten since the day before because I was running through a field at dinnertime, too angry to eat breakfast, and too forgetful to remember to pack a lunch for the trip. My insides were hollow.
“Hurry now. I got started a little late, so I’m behind.” At least she didn’t blame me out loud for the lateness. She probably thought it though.
I opened the refrigerator door, hunted through the drawers, and took out the vegetables. “So what happens if it goes on the table a couple of minutes late? Does Uncle Charley turn into a beast and throw you out of the house?”
“No, Uncle Charley would never say a word if supper were late.”
I pulled the lettuce apart.
“Remember to wash the vegetables first.”
My lip curled at the words. What did she think I’d do, roll them on the ground first? Oh well, I shrugged and turned on the tap.
Sarah kept rattling on about Uncle Charley. “He’s a good, sweet man. The best kind there is. So I like everything to be just the way he likes it.”
How sickening. I tore apart the lettuce and tossed it into a bowl. I grabbed the carrots and cut them. When I finished, I realized I had chopped them into hunks instead of slicing them. Now I had to take the time to cut them again.
“Will you please set the table now? I hear the cars at the end of the lane. I’ll finish the salad.”
She said it nicely enough, but it felt like a put-down because I hadn’t finished. After opening a few cupboards, I managed to find the plates and glasses. As I put the plates on the table, they slipped and the stoneware banged with so much force it sounded like they might break.
“Take it easy with those plates.”
“I didn’t mean to put them down so hard.” I couldn’t do anything without her saying something about it.
“All right. Just be a little more careful.”
We worked in silence as I put the plates around the table. I heard boots shuffling on the porch. The door opened, and in walked a tall, lean man. He had dark brown hair, almost black, with a touch of gray at the sides. Even in his work clothes of blue jeans and a plaid shirt, he looked like a man of importance. Daddy told me Uncle Charley owned a construction company and Matt and Mark worked for him.
“You must be Katie.” His voice sounded deep and strong, like Daddy’s, the kind of voice that gave comfort because it was solid and couldn’t be shaken.
I wanted to try to shake his calm though, so I tried a smart answer. “Good guess.”
“Sarah got you settled in all right?”
Well, my first try fell flat. I knew for my plan to work, I’d have to irritate Uncle Charley, because he’d make the decision to send me home. “Yeah. I’m all unpacked. My question is when do I get to pack again?”
A trace of confusion crossed Uncle Charley’s face. “Pack? Why?”
“I’m going back home. You don’t think I’m going to stay here for very long do you?” I swiped at my bangs to get them out of my eyes, and my voice got a little louder as I continued. “This is just temporary. You’ll see. Daddy’ll be calling for me to come home when his tests are all done. He’ll be too lonely without me.”
I spoke with a lot more confidence than I felt. Daddy didn’t often change his mind about things and he wanted me to stay at least through the school year. A troubled expression replaced the confusion on Uncle Charley’s face, and gave me a sense of satisfaction.
“We’ll talk about this a little later. Right now though, I need to wash for supper.”
I didn’t get as much of a reaction as I wanted. I heard some stomping outside on the porch. The door opened and in walked Matthew and right behind him another big, tall, handsome, hunk of a guy. Only Mark had dark hair and eyes, and dimples in his cheeks. Where Matthew looked like my daddy, Mark looked like his. Maybe I shouldn’t be so hasty about wanting to leave. If all the guys around here looked like my cousins, my eyes’d be in hog heaven. The only guy I hung around with at home was Timmy Lawrence, because he didn’t care about Daddy’s office of sheriff, or my last name of McCabe. Besides, he was about the only guy around even close to my age, and was my closest pal.