Tantra, Sex, Orgasm and Meditation
by Sean Orford
For a complete list of books by Sean Orford visit his website at www.seanorford.com
Tantra, Sex, Orgasm and Meditation
by Sean Orford
Published by Live in the Present at Smashwords in 2012
First
published in 2010 by Live in the Present Ltd
40 Acton Lane,
Saughall Massie, Wirral. CH46 6EA. UK
http://www.liveinthepresent.co.uk/
Smashwords Edition, License Notes
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15 - Sexual Touch & Meditation
For many years, people have been asking me to write a book on sex, one that would take into account the physical, spiritual and psychological issues. I had not got round to this task until a couple of years ago when events transpired leaving me with the time to consider the project anew.
Well, after some thought, I decided to talk with two great friends of mine who, in these writings and in other books, are identified by the pseudonyms Naz Droffi and John Ironbridge. What began as one book quickly turned into four books, with perhaps more to come.
Tantra,
Sex, Orgasm & Meditation
Tantra, Sex, Mind & Body
Tantra,
Sex, Love & Relationships
Tens Steps to Improve your Sex Life
Forever
John, Naz and I travelled, learned and studied together when we were young men. We all shared a common aim of self-development though, with varied personality types, we approached our task in our own separate and unique ways that eventually led to our different paths in life.
I, as you may know, went on to practise psychotherapy in the West and do all the work that I do, as is on my websites seanorford.com and liveinthepresent.co.uk. Naz focussed on Tantra and became a specialist psychosexual therapist. John went into his studies, books, the Upanishads and Vedic texts, and now lives a mainly reclusive, monastic existence, running retreats and teaching meditation.
When we travelled together, it was as though we were a trilogy from a Transactional Analysis script of parent, adult and child. John was definitely the parent who was, in the main, nurturing (though he could show strong disapproval if he felt that important moral codes were being breached or transgressed). I like to think of myself as the adult and the point of balance between the extremes of John’s paternalism and Naz’s seeming lack of responsibility. Naz was the child. Although probably a damaged child when very young, his work on himself made him very much a free child and that gave him the freedom to be openly sexual in ways that other people might find difficult - something that John would often look down upon with shock.
Anyway, after discussing the project it was decided that we would use a storyline from Naz. This records the events when a teacher, Vanessa, introduced him to Tantra, and the sexual arts, together with a spiritual/moral dimension from John with me adding a more psychological and physiological dimension. It became obvious from the outset that I would need to be the narrator, main commentator, and writer which I have done (including reading the audio version of this and other books in the series).
This book, Tantra, Sex, Orgasm & Meditation, is divided into distinct sections in each chapter. In each there are the three dimensions or sections written in our three voices, plus one. The other one, number four, is you, and there you will find suggestions for exercises and ideas that you might like to try to enhance your own sexual/spiritual self.
Although the voices in this book are of three males, they also speak with female tones and in no sense is this book misogynistic or sexist. The voice, attitude and heart of Vanessa and her work is central to the book. And, for me at least, Vanessa represents all that is best in female sexuality and expression.
If you would like to discuss any of the issues in this, or any of the other books, you will always be able to get hold of me through the site www.liveinthepresent.co.uk
I hope you enjoy this offering.
Sean x
Introduction
Understanding
Tantra
Tantra is the science of the imagination. It creates the inner vision of all that we are able to do. It also creates the inner vision of what we are unable to do. It is the limit of our dreams and the depth of our nightmares. As such, Tantra is the ace of spades in our pack of psychological cards. It is the magic ingredient that creates either success or failure.
In writings about the Law of Attraction, also known as The Secret, you will read about how the mind, as a conceptual tool, predicts what we are able to experience, as perception. Western understanding of the mind is often limited and in some senses confusing. In Eastern psychology, the mind has three distinct functions. These are cognition, intuition, and creativity. To get the best from our mind, we need to understand these three functions and how they interact to our benefit.
Cognitive Mind
This is an information store often described as “long term memory”. Memory is the important factor when we look at the limitations that we place on our self and when we examine repeated patterns of behaviour, both positive and negative. This is also known as the science of karma. The cognitive mind is a repository of that which comprises our paradigm and our belief of who we are. It holds information about what we know and what we believe to be true. In fact it is a store of all that we have learned since the moment of birth.
It is the cognitive mind that is referred to in cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT). In this approach to psychological therapy, a connection is made between thinking and doing. This therapy comprises of interventions used to break thought patterns and behaviours that do not serve us well. The cycle of thought to behaviour, and behaviour to thought, is the Eastern science of karma. In Ayurvedic sciences, the mind is dealt with through the science of Mantra that controls and transcends the thinking process.
Intuitive Mind
Intuition is seldom recognised in the West, yet it underpins all that we experience. This area of the mind sits above cognition and cannot be measured using empirical tools. It is both above conceptual cognition and below perceptual, or intellectual, awareness. It is the part of the mind described as subliminal. Until a person “wakes up” sufficiently to become aware of this part of their mind, its effects are unknown to them and may be described as “Inside them yet outside of their control”.
This is where the Law of Attraction actually works. When we filter out information from the mass of experience received by our senses, it is the intuitive mind that is at play. The tool of the intuitive mind is meaning.
It is only when something is meaningful to us that we pay attention to it. So that if you are tuned into Italian restaurants, you will know where they are and will see them when you walk down the street. If, on the other hand, you are tuned in to Indian restaurants, you may not see any of the Italian restaurants at all. They simply pass you by, because they hold no meaning for you, therefore you do not pay them any attention. It is only when we change what is meaningful to us that we change what we perceive.
People question why I read the same books, listen to the same recordings, and watch the same DVDs over and over again. Well, like all those that study seriously, I know that what I can perceive from any experience is limited by what is meaningful to me at that time. As I change my understanding, what I experience changes as well. The book or the recording does not change, but I do. With each repetition, I see that which I was unable to see previously.
This is how the Law of Attraction works. As different things become meaningful to us, our perception changes and so we see things that have always been there. It is just that we had never been aware of them before. What appear as new opportunities, new chances, new experiences, have always existed; we just didn’t see them.
So often, after a course or sessions of therapy, a student or client will ask, “Why didn’t they teach us this stuff when we were kids?” There are two answers to this. The first is that the teachers probably didn’t know anyway. The second is that they might have been telling you the same message for years but it is only now that you are able to hear and see.
The fact that you are reading this book is because the intuitive part of your mind was attracted to it, something happened to make this meaningful to you and you saw it. What you get from this book, if you read it to the end or discard it half-read, will be the same part of you in action. Is this meaningful to you?
In Ayurvedic science, this part of the mind is Raja. It is the part of the mind that is activated in meditation and visualisation. When a teacher of the Law of Attraction suggests that you visualise yourself being what you want to be, they are encouraging you to change the meaning of your life. In so doing, you change your perception so that you are now able to see things around you that will serve you well and help you achieve your vision. These things have always been there - it is just that they were not meaningful to you before now, so that you have paid no attention to them.
Creative Mind
This is the seat of Tantra. This is vision.
With the cognitive mind, we think. Most thinking is simply a rehash of thoughts, information, and experiences, often given to us by other people, society, culture, religion, education and so on. As such, the cognitive mind is fixed into the patterns that become “better the devil you know”, “you’ve made your bed you better lie in it” and “a leopard can’t change its spots”. The list is endless. They are all phrases that serve to keep us fixed in our existing behaviours even when they may be painful or injurious to us.
The intuitive mind enables us to change what it is that we present to our perception. It gives us the opportunity to see those things that we had previously missed and to make the connections that will enable us to achieve what we desire. However, the intuitive mind is passive and present alternatives to our perception. It is only when these new experiences are accepted, that we allow them to pass into the long-term memory of our cognitive mind. It is only then that we change our behaviour.
The creative mind is active. The science of the creative mind is Tantra. The tool of Tantra is creativity and the creative process. Sexual practice is a creative act both in technique and outcome, hence the connection between Tantra and sexuality. To be creative at any level requires vision. Vision changes perception directly and allows us to create new and original things. The difference between passive visualisation and creativity is this.
When we visualise something, we are tuning into something that has always been there. It is just that we have missed it before now; it has always existed outside of our awareness. But, when we use vision, we are creating something that was not there before. It is new. It may be a subtle rearrangement of existing things or events, but it is completely new and outside of the awareness of all those around us. Such visions and creations are often inspirational.
When Edison created the light bulb, he had a creative vision, an image of what could be. He wasn’t using his cognitive mind to understand existing events. He wasn’t using his intuitive mind to bring into his perception that which already existed. He was creating something that previously we had been unaware of. Tantra is concerned with the creation of original visions; Tantra is the most powerful of all the psychological and meta-physical sciences. Edison was using the creative imagination to envision something completely new. As he went through his two thousand elements until he found the one that worked, he was convinced that the right element was there because he could see it with his creative imagination.
Had he used his cognitive mind he would have given up because in his cognitive paradigm the light bulb did not and could not exist because it defied cognitive logic. Had he used his intuitive mind, he would have failed because, however much he attempted to change his perception through visualisation, none of the component parts existed, so he would not have been able to become aware of them.