51
by Thalamus’ Ink.
SMASHWORDS EDITION
* * * * * * *
PUBLISHED BY:
Pegasus Books/Gregory Douglas on Smashwords
51
Copyright © 2011 by Gregory Douglas
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ISBN 978-1-
Comments about 51 and requests for additional copies, book club rates and author speaking appearances may be addressed to Gregory Douglas or Pegasus Books c/o Ms. McGhee, P.O. Box 235, Neptune, New Jersey, 07754, or you can send your comments and requests via e-mail to gregorydouglas1@mac.com
This book is dedicated to the Projects where I grew up:
51 Winthrop Avenue
New Rochelle, New York
“Dreams, Discomfort and Desire are the starting points…”
51
The sun’s rays burst through worn slits in the cracked yellow window shade. I watched the sunlight pierce the bedspread and as I placed my hand there I could feel its warmth. Dust particles entered the spotlight descending and then effortlessly rising into the air like ribbons of cigarette smoke. Some of the particles remained suspended until I swept my arm through them and as if on command, the dust gave chase. I must have orchestrated their patterns for about an hour. When I pulled the shade up it snapped violently and the invading sunlight crowded every corner of the room. I squinted and could see all of the dust in chaos. Suddenly I heard my name being called and realized that this was not my first day here on earth.
For the doers:
Stevie, Mark, Joyce, Janis, Stephanie, Lynnie Boo Boo, Judy", Bubby, Cleo, Peaches, Pumpkin,
Stanley, Baby Sis, Kitty Coo, Skipper, Keith, Kenard, Walter, Ann, Danny, Fetson, Robert, Diane, Beverly, Karen, Michael, Barbara, Joann, Sam and Cookie.
Thalamus’ Ink.
Soul Trust
Lord
Lift my soul
Take my hand
Lead me far
From temptations land
Lord
Lift my soul
So I might see
The harm that’s done
When I’m not me
Amen
Thalamus’ Ink.
3 / 21 / 08
Excursion: Déjà Vu
There is certain eeriness
To this comfort
That I’ve found
Because I have been here before
Perhaps not yesterday
Perhaps not even
Four light years ago
And perhaps not as
My whole self
But certainly as a breeze
Or a whisper
Or a part of
Someone else’s
Genetic fragment
But surely here
I recall
Many circumstances
As they have unfolded
But amnesia shrouds
The past’s conclusions
Leaving vacancies
To be filled before commas
Exclamation points
Or periods
I know that I was sent
To wriggle them free
To color outside the lines
Yet introduce some order
Or direct movement towards
More navigable pursuits
For within this wake
Lies nature’s kaleidoscope
Cultivating conscious life
When shaken – but it remains
Embryonic and not amphibious
Thalamus’ Ink.
Penned up like lab rats
Propagating neuroses
Ghettos in lock down
Black Face
My greatest fear is being swallowed
Whole by blackness
And in the face of sadistic smiles
Or raucous and contemptible laughter
Never being heard and understood
Thalamus’ Ink.
4/ 18/ 08
Themes of Blackness
A bouquet of roses
That only the
Opened box exposes
Both sun baked skin and
The smooth ebony texture reflected
As the moon’s rays rush in
Work’s constant sweat on my brow
The eternal bend in my back
That remains resilient somehow
My pulse racing
When at night
It’s the cops I’m facing
At a streetlight
The sound of a mother’s cry
When one of her children is down
And bullets still whistle by
A Saturday night drunk
Or drugs in my arm
Producing amnesia
To keep my brain from harm
Family members missing
Like a gapped toothed Jack- O- Lantern
That struggles to smile
A hole, a hole
Dug for centuries by
White folks
In order to bury my soul
Falling into an abysmal pit
And left with no heroes
To help me out of it
Pain and despair
Enduring a life time
With this bill of fare
While happiness is measured in milliseconds
Upward bound with
My ceiling’s height just below the fog
That covers the ground
Thoughts of what I should
And how I could
With no one to listen
No one knows
The trouble I see
For no one feels
This “ BLACK” inside me
Thalamus’ Ink.
© 4/20/08
Pinching the Soul
I only stole to share I
Buried our emotions in blacks and whites
Wrapped them in tea leaves
Myself in lavenders and ruby reds
Preparing to masquerade
Proud and poised
As a beggar on Fridays
With hands now to knees
I stuck out my tush to
Stir more than air while