The Rena Files
By Lyza Ledo
Copyright 2011 Lyza Ledo
Smashwords Edition
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Chapter 1: Do You Really?
Do you really want to know me? Really? Because this story isn’t really simple it was kind of a mess that just grew into something I couldn’t attempt to handle. Well if you really want to know…let’s start with me. My name is Rena Solis. I am sixteen years old and a junior at Walterville High School. Walterville is one of the many suburbs of Philadelphia, Pennsylvania.
Well I am not some superhuman or anything interesting like that. I’m barely noticed but my parents that’s something different. My parents happen to be pretty amazing you may or may not have heard of them though. Rebecca and Richard Solis are two of the best detectives in the country. With that, my parents happen to be away a lot since they began doing consultations in serious cases with government agencies and police departments about four years ago. My parents are great even though they are not always around and aren’t always up with the latest in Walterville High. They care and I probably talk to them everyday no matter what.
When they are not around though I always have Aunt Krystal, she’s my mother’s younger sister by 15 years. Krystal is thirty and since she is always with me she hasn’t exactly settled down yet. She is a nurse and seriously one of the kindest women I’ll ever know. I think I’m losing my train of thought maybe I should tell you a bit about Walterville High, where the story actually takes place.
Walterville High School has 1700 students, yes our school is in the thousands. Now I’m not going to pretend that I know all 1700 people in the school and I am worshipped or whatever. I will tell you how it really is, no lies needed. The week of importance was in the first week of April. The Junior Dance was at the end of the week and Caitlin was trying to persuade me into finding a date.
“Ren? Are you listening to me?” Cait said after her boyfriend Josh grabbed their trash and headed to the football table.
I rolled my eyes, “what is wrong with wanting to go alone?” I asked, for the last month, Caitlin has made it her mission to try and find me a date for the Junior Prom, and frankly I wasn’t interested. There was no one I wanted to go with… at least that she knew about.
David looked over at us, “can we not have this conversation again?”
“Yeah I’m with Dave on this one” I said stirring the remaining mashed potatoes on my tray around, avoiding Caitlin’s glare.
“Dave, you could solve this whole problem if you just went to the dance” Caitlin said turning her glare to David instead. Caitlin Cooper and David Reed were my best friends and pretty much my only friends at Walterville High School. Caitlin had been my friend since we were in diapers and David since last year. Caitlin did a lot of things that pretty girls did, she was a cheerleader, who dated football players and loved to highlight her already naturally blond hair. She wasn’t the brightest bulb in the container and I think that’s why David was around to actually have an intelligent conversation with someone.
“Cait, I told you I don’t do dances for the hundredth time” Dave said sounding exasperated.
I looked up at Dave, “it’s okay, you don’t have to go… hell I don’t even want to go” I said finally putting my fork down and moving my tray away from me.
Caitlin’s glare returned to me her brown eyes full of anger and hurt. “But what about that beautiful dress you got?”
“Cait… I was only going because you begged me.” David cleared his throat trying to calm the animosity between Cait and I.
“Fine … you win Cait.”
Cait jerked her head up to look at David surprised, “what?”
“I’ll go with Rena.”
“What makes you think I want to go with you, Dave?”
He shrugged, “because I’m your… one of your best friends and you love me.”
I chuckled, “okay, but you have to match my dress” I said standing to put away my trash.
“Oh thank you so much! Dave you will have so much fun you won’t regret it!” Caitlin said as she ran to Josh to tell him the good news, not like he actually cared when there were so many more important things in the world to talk about like football… and oh yeah football.
Dave followed me, because we had our next class together, “I don’t know why you said yes” I said as Caitlin was far enough away.
“Ren, I’m not letting her torture you a whole night alone I mean what are you going to do when she’s dancing the night away?”His face actually showing his worry for me, definitely a great best friend.
I looked away, embarrassed I didn’t even think of that.“I know I didn’t think it all the way through but I don’t dance any way” David walked into the classroom before me and took a seat at our lab station.
“You will with me” he said with a smile that made me smile back.
“I know.”
“Then what’s the problem?” he asked curiously.
“You didn’t wanna go.” I said stating the obvious.
“I’m not gonna let Cait make you go with one of Josh’s douchy friends. Besides I know who you’re waiting for and it’s not going to happen.” David said giving me a sympathetic look.
David knew I had a huge crush on someone, but I tried not to let Caitlin know because she would obviously be upset and perhaps murder me. So, David was my confidant in all things boys or boy, ironically.
I sighed and turned to pay attention to our Chemistry lecture or more specifically the monotone man babbling about appropriate ways to balance equations.
My mind quickly drifted away again. The junior prom was one of the biggest occasions in junior year. Caitlin was nominated for Junior Prom Queen and she wanted all the support she could that’s why I had no choice but to go. I looked over at David I was thankful he was going with me. I don’t know what would have happened without him. He was great and really my best friend even though I could never admit that to Caitlin. His hazel eyes narrowed on me as he noticed me looking at him, “what?” he mouthed as he turned to face me. I shook my head and turned back towards the professor. It was funny that David and I were only best friends.
Aunt Krystal thought we would be dating soon, but there was always something in the way. At first, it was David’s immense crush on Caitlin, but I couldn’t blame him for that every guy liked Caitlin Cooper. In her own words, she was hot and everyone knew it. Her insane confidence was probably the main reason she always had a date to anything if you asked me about it.
After actually getting to know Caitlin he preferred me to her, saying she complained more than she breathed… after this week I think he had a point. He was everything most girls would like in a guy at least I would.
He wasn’t necessarily Caitlin’s type which was usually dumb jock. David was a jock he was on the soccer team, but he was slightly muscular from his after school job at his dad’s bike shop. He was constantly lifting bikes and well his arms were pretty ripped because of it. He also had a face that wasn’t terrible to look at but his obvious thirst for knowledge turned Caitlin off about as much as Josh’s idiocy turned me off. He was decently tall too, not that I’m a giant or anything. Dave was 5’10 and I was 5’3 it was a distance, but I always liked guys tall.
No matter how annoying she was, Caitlin would always be one of my best friends we were friends since we were born and not even her obsession with boys could completely hinder our relationship. I know though my little secret crush would totally hinder that relationship and that’s why David was saving me with this dance.
The bell rang, I looked over at him, “have fun in study hall… behave” Dave said as he threw his backpack over his broad shoulders.
“Yeah, yeah, you say that everyday” I said following him out into the hallway.
“Well I just wanted to keep it fresh in your mind” Dave said as he turned into his classroom, “see you at your locker?” Dave added before he walked in. I nodded and started walking to my next class.
Slam! “I’m so sorry” I said as I looked up to see the guy I ran into. “I’m s-s-s….” I was at a loss for words.
“No problem, Ren” he said as he walked to his locker beside where I was standing. I leaned forward and grabbed my bag off the floor, red faced. I almost ran to study hall. I sat in my usual seat since we were in alphabetical order and watched him pass by and take his seat two rows in front of me.
It was even harder to focus today knowing that I made such an ass out of myself…. Right in front of Jesse Harris! Jesse Harris was beautiful… I don’t know how long I really liked him but I knew I couldn’t make it go away believe me I tried. He had almost black hair and a light tan that came from being out in the spring sun already. But the thing that really stuck with me about Jesse were his eyes. There were like a blue that was nothing like any other blue in the world. They were vibrant and soft all at the same time, the only thing that I could possibly compare his eyes to were the ocean… and not that murky dark water we normally see in places near me but the bright blue water that is known in the Caribbean. A shining, shimmering vibrant blue that I had never seen on another person, I remember when I first met him and he looked at me with those eyes. I gasped surprised by what I saw and maybe I fell for him then but I doubt it at least I denied it if I did.
You see Jesse Harris is off limits for one very important reason. He was Caitlin’s first love and after their breakup he didn’t even talk to me. Why would he I was just Caitlin’s geeky friend? He wouldn’t like me after being with her even if we had great conversations before their nasty split.
I couldn’t pull my gaze away from him today and I think even he noticed. He turned and looked at me oddly. I tried to hide my gaze but I knew I looked guilty, my face was probably as red as an apple.
Chapter 2: What can I get you?
I walked out of study hall purposefully avoiding Jesse. I walked to my locker and found David waiting.
“So?” he said drawing out the word a bit too long. “Did you behave?”
“Don’t I always?” He looked at me, studying me. “Dave, I don’t know why you are so concerned about this nothing is ever going to happen. It’s me.” His curious expression changed to that of a concerned best friend.
“Rena… I don’t get you… you’re amazing why wouldn’t he like you… why wouldn’t you dare talk to him if things were different?” David said trying to keep his focus completely on me. His expression was one of a worried brother and I was trying to avoid that face, this always ended in the Rena pity party and I was just not ready for it today.
“Who doesn’t like you?” Caitlin asked coming to her locker a few over from mine.
“No one... David thinks I have a crush and I don’t.” I said trying not to show my distress.
“I wish you would… you need to get out there, Rena, you’re sixteen and you’re practically celibate.” Caitlin said as she finished in her locker. She knew the truth that I’d never even kissed a boy but Cait kept that to herself, like a great best friend she didn’t even tell Dave.“ I’m heading out with Josh so I don’t need a ride today… but I think you two should go pick out a tie for Dave for Friday” Caitlin said with a wink as she turned and sauntered off to Josh.
“You do need a tie to match my dress” I said looking at Dave as we walked to his car. I jumped into the passenger side of David’s ford escape. “You know what I don’t get, Dave?”
“What?” he added as he started the car and began to navigate out the parking lot to the mall.
“Why didn’t you want to go to the dance?”
“There was no one I wanted to go with … I mean besides you.”
“You don’t have to be nice I was there Cait talked you into it. What I was saying is you haven’t told me about any crushes since Caitlin.” I asked actually curious about David’s prospects.
“Well … um… there hasn’t been any.”
I rolled my eyes, “liar.”
“I’m not lying!” he said a bit too loudly.
“You are” I said with a grin.
“Anyways I saw you run into Jesse today.”
“I honestly didn’t do it on purpose.”I said shifting nervously in my seat at the conversation change.
“You looked like you were going to vomit when you saw who it was.” He said a devilish grin crossing his face.
“I did not!” I said my voice going a tad higher than usual. David laughed, it was smooth just like Dave usually was. We pulled up to the mall right in front of Macy’s to be exact. I jumped out of the car, “now the search begins!” I said pulling David’s arm to my side. I never noticed I did that but maybe I shouldn’t have done it so often. “I’m sorry” I said letting his arm fall back to his side.
“Why? You always do that” He said interlocking our arms together again.
“Well it looks like you’re off the market.” I said trying not to show how uncomfortable I was feeling.
“And why does it matter now… it’s been a year.” He remarked.
“I didn’t realize I did that all this time” he shrugged and we walked on.
Lately, things were shifting with David and I don’t know if it was just me noticing it or what. David was chivalrous but even he used to fight when I pulled his arm to me. Suddenly all his fight was gone and he didn’t mind. Honestly, I thought I was being paranoid but after Caitlin planted the idea that David might actually like me more than a friend… I couldn’t let it go. I overanalyzed everything we did together now and I think he was even starting to notice.
“What’s been up lately?” he said as he held the first door open for me.
“What do you mean?” I said trying to actually sound clueless.
“You have just been weird.” He added but didn’t seem to want to say anymore on the topic.
“How so?” I remarked inquiringly.
“Like in the car… you don’t normally care who I like” he said matter-of-factly.
“Well I was just curious … it’s been a while.” I said hoping to shrug off the whole conversation.
“Ren” my shoulders sagged when he said my name, “what is it?” he added.
“Well… this is soo stupid.” I hated to mention something as stupid as what Caitlin said but he wasn’t giving me much choice.
“What is?” he said as he held the door to the department store open.
“Well Caitlin kinda planted the idea in my head.” I started nervously.
David rolled his eyes, “what did she say now?”
I felt like a child, it was so immature. “She said….please I really don’t wanna say” I said shaking his arm off mine.
“Rena, what did she say?” he said visibly becoming irritated which is very uncharacteristic of David, it is nearly impossible to make him angry. I looked up at him, he was about six or so inches taller than me. It was like looking up at lamp post. Why was I so flipping short?
“She thinks you like me” I said turning to avoid his expression and gaze. We were in the men’s section so I decided to focus on the search for a dark gold tie. He stopped as I immersed myself in ties.
“Of course I like you. You are my best friend.” Dave added as he returned to my side.
“You know she didn’t mean it like that.” I said trying to defend my friend.
“I know… how she meant it … it’s Caitlin” he said sounding annoyed again. “And I don’t know what to say.” He said sounding different.
I turned to him, “is it true?” I said looking straight into his eyes or at least as much of his eyes I could by looking up.
“Yes and no but…” he stopped talking when he saw my face crumble. I didn’t know how to register this data. He was my best friend were things really supposed to change. “Rena” he said touching my arm, “look at me” I reluctantly obliged. He looked as confused as I felt. “I like our relationship and I may have considered it lately but I just want to be friends” David said looking intently towards me.
“I don’t know what to say.” I said reaching through the piles of ties to find one I thought was suitable. David started sifting through the ties beside me, quietly.
The silence was deafening between us.
“I found one” he added several moments later.
I looked at it for several seconds. “I think that’s a good one… check out?” he nodded and I followed him to the cash register.
We didn’t talk again until we were in the car. “Ren… can we go somewhere and talk?” I didn’t really want to talk but I know we would have to eventually.
“Okay, where to?”
“The scoop we can grab some sundaes and talk.”
“It’s usually crowded around now” I said still not sure what I could possibly say to him.
“There’s a football game at school today,” he added hopefulness in his voice.
“Okay then” I said still avoiding his gaze. I settled into my seat crossing my arms over my chest. I never really had this problem before. Dave was supposed to be that guy that was fun to talk to I never imagined I’d have to consider anything else with him. I wasn’t even prepared to consider if I could stop fantasizing about Jesse long enough to have a real relationship. Maybe that was my problem? I deserved a relationship why should I just think about Jesse who didn’t know I existed but Dave knew me and cared about me.
We pulled up in front of the Scoop and David parallel parked into a decently sized space. I loved the Scoop for many reasons. They had some of the best food in town and there sundaes, milkshakes, and root beer floats were huge. I had been coming here since I was a freshman in high school; this is the place I first met Jesse. He worked here, his parents made him work there actually. The Harrises owned the Scoop and Jesse was an added bonus whenever Caitlin and I came around for a treat.
I looked over at David his face was lost in thought. “So what’s on your mind?” I said as we walked in step to the hostess desk. We sat at a corner table and David was completely right the place was deserted. When we sat down, David began to talk.
“So, can we just forget about this mess?” I was surprised. David was not normally the one to forget something.
“What? Really?” He nodded.
“I like you… but I like us and I know you don’t like me as much as someone.” He said quieting down a bit as he noticed Jesse approaching our table.
“Hey my name is...” he stopped as he noticed who we were. “Hey, what can I get you guys?” Jesse said sounding tired, he avoided me and focused his attention onto David.
“Two rootbeer floats,” David said without even looking at Jesse.
Jesse looked over at me, “okay with that?”
I nodded, “can I get a water too?” I added barely audible. I really had to get over this crush I was being idiotic. I was blushing uncontrollably, not in control of my own voice. How pathetic did I look?
“Sure” Jesse said finally taking his eyes away from me, “be back in a few” he said as he was walking away towards the kitchen. I was looking at my shaky hands in my lap, trying to will the blood from rushing to my face. How I kept my crush a secret from Caitlin was miraculous to me.
“See what I mean” Dave added after Jesse went back into the kitchen. “I get it…I’ve known you long enough to know you can’t help it.” His voice wasn’t angry or upset it sounded just like the calm David I was accustomed to, despite what he was saying.
“I’m trying” I said exasperated. David had been telling me since he met me my sophomore year that I needed to get over my best friend’s boyfriend. It’s kind of how we got close, he’s the only one I could talk to about it.
“You say that but…” He said and stopped he turned his head downwards avoiding my gaze.
“But what David?” he remained quiet, “I avoid him as much as I can… I don’t bring him up… I try not to think about him… what else can I do?” He pulled at his sleeve, and looked up to see Jesse coming back.
“So is this all you guys want?” Jesse said as he put our drinks on the table, I nodded pulling my gaze away almost instantly.
“How about some cheese fries?” David said looking to me for confirmation, I nodded and Jesse left without even bothering to look at me.
“I don’t know what else to do… Cait’s going to kill me” I said burying my head with my arms, I was on the verge of tears. I don’t know why having this conversation made me this way but it always did.
“You know Cait’s oblivious she would have to catch you making out to even have a clue.” David said, mostly trying to consol me. It wasn’t working.
“What about you?” I asked, I needed to know how he actually felt about this.
“I get you’ve liked this guy for a long time… but I think you need to move on.” I nodded knowing he would say that. That was what he had been telling me since he figured it out.
“Who do you suggest I move on with?” I said looking up at him, wondering if he would admit how much he actually liked me. If he actually liked me.
“Someone you know… someone who actually knows you exist.” I nodded that was David’s biggest problem with Jesse besides being Caitlin’s ex. He constantly told me someone that didn’t recognize how amazing I was didn’t deserve me. It was a plausible explanation that I just couldn’t accept. “Rena you’re perfect … and you deserve so much more” he said grabbing my hand. I felt the blood rushing to my cheeks with his actions and I couldn’t look away. I couldn’t even move away. The moment was quickly interrupted however.
“Fries” Jesse said and I found the strength and actually pulled my hand from David’s as Jesse stepped towards our table. David looked visibly irritated.
“Thanks” he said as he watched Jesse walk away.
“Relax” I said noticing his growing frustration, “you wanted to come here.”
“The food’s good is it my fault?” he said as he grabbed a forkful full of fries. His tone wasn’t as David like anymore.
“Then deal,” I added as nonchalantly as I could.
“It’s just that every time we start talking--” he was showing his frustration now.
“It’s fast service don’t complain” I said grabbing my own fork. He shrugged still eating. He seemed to be calming down with every bite. Who knew fries were a calming food?
“When do you want me to pick you up for the dance Friday?” Dave asked.
“Um Cait and Josh got a limo…. Meet up at my house at 6:30 that was the plan.” Dave nodded but didn’t say anything when he saw Jesse approaching, but unfortunately I didn’t notice until it was too late. “Don’t forget a corsage” I added, taking a sip from my water.
“Here’s the check guys… You are going to the dance?” Jesse asked incredulously. He placed his full attention on me.
“Um yeah… you know we have to…” I stammered.
“You were never the dance type before” he was still saying, I couldn’t breathe…think… what the hell was Jesse doing?
“Well… it’s mostly for moral support …junior prom king and queen” he shifted his gaze away from me and then averted his piercing gaze downward to the table.
“Oh” he added softly and kept his gaze away from me as he continued to remain stationary.
“Are you going?” I asked hoping but knowing the answer.
“No, they were never really my thing” he said returning his gaze to me.
“Okay … thanks.” I said actually sounding like myself for once.
“Whenever you guys are ready I’ll be back by the counter” he said not letting his gaze leave mine.
That was probably the longest conversation I had with Jesse since the break up. I felt shaky from so much contact, I was seriously mental.
“Maybe I’m wrong” David added as he pulled out his wallet, I started shifting through my purse.
“No, I got it this time….Just try not to look like an apple when we leave.” He added as he placed a twenty in the leather pocket with the receipt.
“What are you wrong about?” I asked as we stood.
“Maybe he could like you.” David said curiously as he grabbed the bill and handed it to Jesse when he started walking forward. “Thanks, keep the change” David said as he walked away. I followed, slowing to get one last look at Jesse. He was smoking hot I couldn’t help myself.
When we got in the car, “he likes you.” David started again.
“We were talking.” I said exasperated. “I think he was just trying to find out about Caitlin.”
“No, Ren… he was genuinely curious in why you were going.” Dave continued.
“Dave… get real.” I couldn’t believe what he was saying.
“Why is that so hard to believe?” Dave’s demeanor was changing again.
“Because it’s impossible” I said angrily. All this time he was trying to get me over my stupid crush and now he was pushing it.
“Why is it impossible to think guys like you?” He almost whispered looking intently at me.
“Because it hasn’t happened yet.” I said evenly trying to calm down. David pulled up in front of my house, “Ren…”
“Yeah?” I said turning to face him.
“I like you” he said as he leaned forward and kissed me, softly and sweetly. I stayed in the car wide eyed not exactly registering my first kiss had just happened.
“I think I should go” I said sliding out of the car quickly.
“Ren, can you at least….” I didn’t hear the rest I closed the door and ran to my porch, looking for my keys when my cell phone vibrated. Call me when you’re done freaking out-Dave I turned around and saw him pull away. I walked into the house, praying Krystal wasn’t home yet.
Chapter 3: Complicated
“Rena! Is that you?” No such luck. Aunt Krystal came walking out of the kitchen, “where have you been?”
“Hanging with Dave.” I said turning to avoid her questioning looks.
“Aww you guys really need to start dating … you two are so cute together.” I sighed Krystal was always saying this.
“Well we are going to the dance together.” I said trying to keep my mind away from the kiss that had occurred only a few moments ago.
“Oh that’s great those pictures are going to be beautiful.” Krystal said as she started back towards the kitchen, “are you hungry?”
“No, I ate with Dave.” I said still keeping my face away from her direction.
“Oh where did you guys go?” she inquired curiously.
“The scoop.”
“Did you see the Harris boy?” she was teasing the only way Aunt Krystal would.
“Yeah, he was our waiter.” Krystal never let on that she knew about my crush on him but I think she knew, why else would she ask that question. “I think I’m just going to head upstairs and do my homework.” I said climbing the stairs towards my bedroom. I walked in to my room and fell onto my bed.
I had my first kiss… my first kiss! I think I should tell Caitlin at least, before I try to figure out what I wanted do about it. I pulled out my cell phone and dialed Caitlin’s cell.
“Hey stranger what’s up?” She answered happily.
“We got Dave’s tie,” I said nervously.
“Is that what you called about?” Cait asked confused.
“No, actually…um…” I really didn’t want to say it but this is why I called.
“What happened? Are you okay?” Cait actually caught onto my distress for once.
“Yeah, I’m fine… but something happened…”I started but she cut me off. That was characteristically Caitlin.
“Is it your parents?” Cait said, she always jumped to absurd conclusions but sometimes they made for a great laugh, not this time.
“No but… I had my first kiss.” I said cutting off her next outlandish conclusion.
“Oh my god! Are you serious?” Caitlin practically screamed into the phone.
“Yeah, I’m serious.” I said with a chuckle, I couldn’t help even feeling as terrible as I did.
“Who?” She inquired.
“Um… Dave.”
“I knew he liked you …” Cait added, “so what happened?”
“Well we were kind of arguing--” I started but she cut me off again.
“You guys don’t argue.”
“Yeah we do … and we were.” I said a little annoyed.
“About what?” Her voice going all sweet and girly, it was her give me more to gossip about voice. I knew it well.
“My love life what else?” I said as if it wasn’t an obvious observation. It was to anybody but Caitlin.
“Why were you guys talking about that?” She remarked drily.
“Because he said I could have found a date if I wanted to and if I tried … he was being so stubborn… I told him that no guys liked me...”
“And?” Cait said.
“He said that’s not true I like you and he kissed me.” I finished, my voice faltering a little when I said he kissed me.
“Oh my god! Are you guys dating? What happened after? Did you kiss again?”
“Actually, I don’t know I kind of bolted after he kissed me… I was surprised.” I said suddenly feeling really stupid.
“Omg …get off the phone and call him… don’t ruin Friday for me.” She practically shouted into my ear.
I rolled my eyes, “I know, Cait” I said then we added our goodbyes. I hung up still completely confused about everything. Usually, I’d call David to calm me down… but this was all his fault.
I dialed his number despite all of this. “Hi” I said as I jumped up from my bed.
“Hi … I’m sorry… I didn’t know you’d get scared.” David said as soon as he answered the phone. I could tell he was nervous, probably as nervous as I was.
“I wasn’t scared I was surprised.” I said trying to sort my feelings while simultaneously trying to express them to Dave.
“You looked scared to me.” He remarked scornfully.
“Dave… you kissed me what did you expect to happen?”
“I don’t know… you’d kiss me back… realize how much you liked me…. Something along those lines would have been preferred.” at least I could say he was always honest, because even that was honest.
“You caught me off guard… I …I never expected you to kiss me.” I said as I finally stopped pacing my room.
“I didn’t know I was going to do it… you just looked so…so…”
“So what?” I nearly shouted into the phone.
“So hurt” he finished.
“And that’s how you fix me?” I asked trying to keep the anger out of my voice. I don’t know why I became angry but it didn’t seem right to be angry with him, not now at least.
“No, I just wanted to show you I cared.” He added sadly.
“I know you care… you’re my best friend of course I think you CARE!” I said not hiding my emotion.
“But, Rena, I care more than that… I get it… I get the Jesse thing… I’m not going to push for something that you don’t want but I’m here.” I started crying, I couldn’t hold back, the emotions were all blurring together. I couldn’t decipher anything right now except nausea.
“Will you still be my friend?” I asked trying to hide my altered voice but knowingly failing.
“Are you okay?” he asked the concern reminiscent of the old David, my best friend David.
“Yeah” I said trying to clear my throat. “I’m okay.” I lied.
“You don’t sound okay… what are you thinking?”David asked slightly returning again to the David that was completely different from the one that kissed me.
“This changes everything you know that.” I said as he stayed quiet for a moment.
“Not if you don’t want it to.” He said with enough conviction that I almost believed him.
“Next time you kiss me can you warn me?” I asked knowing he was wrong despite what he said.
“I don’t have to ever kiss you again if you don’t want me to.” David added trying to put truth to his past statement, but I wasn’t buying it.
“I don’t think you can keep that promise, Dave.” I added depressingly.
“Yes, I can if that’s what you want… I would never.” I didn’t know what to say even though I was kind of rejecting him he was still willing to be with me, whether or not he got anything out of it.
“I don’t know what I want...can I sleep on it?” I finally said after I thought about it for a few moments. My emotions were too blurred for me to even consider making some type of decision tonight.
“Sure” he said with some strain in his voice. “See you in the morning?” He asked before he hung up.
“Of course” I said and hung up. I’m not sure how long I laid there reflecting but then I heard a scream.
“Aunt Krystal?” I said racing down the stairs, “are you okay?” she was in the living room.
“Yeah, did you hear that?” she asked as she threw her robe over her shoulders and walked to the front door. We walked out to a small spectacle.
“Rose… Violet, go back into the house now!” Mr. Fillmore shouted to his two oldest daughters, he was holding a bat and walking towards the car his daughters were moving away from. They must have noticed the growing audience because they went into the house as their father wished and the mysterious car sped away. No confrontation.
“What was that about?” I asked Aunt Krystal, clearly confused by all the commotion.
“You know he’s strict and very old fashioned… those poor girls.” I nodded and walked back into our house.
The Fillmores were a weird group in Walterville, they were strictly Protestant and followed traditional rules including no dating for their three teenage daughters, Rose, Violet, and Daisy. Apparently, they weren’t keeping to those rules at least to their father’s liking.
I woke up that morning, nervous. David was going to be here in ten minutes and all I could do was pace the living room anxiously. “What is wrong with you?” Krystal said as she watched me walk back and forth in the decently sized area, “you seem nervous.”
“I am nervous.” I replied not even thinking about it.
“Why?” she asked, a narrow brown eyebrow raising in curiosity.
“Because of… stuff.” I said and stopped myself almost forgetting Krystal didn’t know about everything with Dave and maybe it should stay that way. Honk! Honk! “Gotta go see you later” I said nearly bolting out the house but Krystal’s voice stopped me.
“Ren, I’m working the evening shift won’t be home till midnight…okay?” I nodded and walked out the door.
Dave was in his car as usual, “where’s Cait?” I asked as I jumped into the passenger side. Great! There goes my buffer.
“Josh drove her.” He replied tersely.
“Okay” I said as I searched for my seatbelt. “So how was your night?” I asked.
“Okay … I just couldn’t seem to stop thinking about this girl though she’s so frustrating” David said with a smile. He was being sarcastic one of the common characteristics of the old David.
“Well she had just as much trouble trying to think of what she wanted to do about this” I said evenly.
“And?” He asked pointedly.
“And I have no clue… maybe we should stay friends…or maybe it will work out amazingly because you know me better than I know myself… or what happened yesterday is going to make you break up with me and there goes our friendship.”
“You have very interesting perspectives.” He said, “and honestly … I can be your friend even after that.”
“At least you will always be my first kiss.” I said with a sheepish smile.
“What?” Dave said tapping the brakes. “I … I didn’t know… oh god I’m so sorry.”
“Dave, it’s okay” I said looking up at him smiling, at least it wasn’t some jerk that would break my heart. He parked in his usual spot still tense from our conversation and walked out of his car without another word.
I followed and noticed an odd site, “Dave… is that?” he stopped to look too.
“Yeah, Violet Fillmore?” Violet was talking to a rather large guy I didn’t recognize, it is a big school after all. I caught up to him since he stopped, “Since when do they date?” he said as he started walking again.
“I don’t know but I’m assuming that huge argument they had yesterday was about that.”
“Huge argument?” Dave asked his curiosity growing.
“They were outside arguing last night with their dad.” I said.
“That’s intense” David said as he opened the door to the school.
We parted to go to our lockers and I saw Caitlin at mine, “So are you guys like a couple now?” She said a less than convincing smile on her face. Josh and her must have had a fight.
“No, and it would have been nice if you were there in the car today,” I said snidely as I opened my locker and started exchanging books.
“I know Ren, and I tried Josh insisted I go with him because there is cheerleading and football practice, later.”
“So that means he can take you home…you could have driven with us.”
“I’m sorry.” She said after a few moments of silence. Apologies are rare for Cait so I was surprised.
“It’s okay” I said as I closed my locker.
“What happened today?” she said before Dave could interrupt.
I looked over and saw David coming towards us, “I’ll tell you in first period” she nodded and turned and saw Dave walking up.
“Hey Dave, what’s up?” Caitlin asked again with feigned enthusiasm.
“Not much” I quietly watched them exchange words, until the bell rang. Cait and I took off to our first class.
We sat down in our usual seats, “shit!” Caitlin said as she sat down, “I forgot my notebook… let me run out and then you can tell me what happened” I shrugged and she ran off.
Chapter 4: Spinning
The world spun around in those few moments. See I happen to have one class with Caitlin and David… but I happen to have four classes with Jesse, hence the impossible task of getting over my little crush. He usually sat two seats in front of me since Cait and I sat way in the back. However, today he decided he’d sit right in front of me. Great! He turned when he sat down.
“So Solis… congrats!” He said leaning his tan arm on the front of my desk.
“Congrats?” I asked confused.
“You know.” He said turning more to face me.
“No, I don’t” I added more confused.
“You and Dave.” He said it like it was the most obvious thing in the world.
“Still not getting it” I said uneasily.
“I thought… I guess I was wrong.” He said shifting his arm off my desk.
“About what?” I said still trying not to be annoyed by his cryptic messages.
“I thought you guys started dating” I was caught completely off guard by his statement.
“Why… why would you think that?” I asked hopefully veiling my shock.
“I don’t know I assumed… you guys were going to the dance together… and were holding hands.” He said his voice lowering in embarrassment.
“Oh, we were just talking.” I said a little defensively.
“No offense, but I don’t hold my friends’ hands.” He said his voice returning to normal.
“No offense, but Dave is one of my best friends and he was stressed.” I replied not too nicely.
“Yeah, you guys looked like you were having a serious convo” Jesse added with a small laugh. He had a great laugh, and I had to shake his presence or I’d be a babbling idiot if he laughed again.
“Well we were until--” I started.
“Until I came to your table… yeah I noticed.” Jesse said obviously ignoring my burning face. “Well one more thing,” he seemed a little uncomfortable now, “I like Dave and all… and I get that he really likes you.” Jesse said and paused, “but I don’t think you guys are right as a couple…I thought I’d tell you that as another friendly guy’s opinion.” Jesse said still looking a bit uneasy, his eyebrows were pinched and his eyes narrowed as he said this.
“Um thanks?” I muttered as I saw Cait approaching again. She sat down and Jesse turned back around swiftly, pretending like nothing had happened.
Leaning back and slumping into his chair his soft brown hair was inches from me and I just wanted to touch it… touch him. I seriously am mental.
“What was that about?” Cait whispered.
“Nothing” I added quickly.
“So what happened then?” She said relaxing.
“Um well I kind of confronted Dave yesterday about it and he didn’t admit to it… so we went to the scoop,” and I told her everything until the car ride, I didn’t want Jesse knowing that he was sort of right.
“Well I think you should go for it… why are you holding back?” Cait asked confused I shrugged, I really didn’t know why I didn’t want to date Dave but it wasn’t helping that Jesse had finally started talking to me. When did life get so complicated?
When I left my first class the day felt like a blur. I walked to my classes and every time I turned around there was Jesse not too far off, he sat beside me in all the classes we shared together but he didn’t say a word. What the hell was going on?
I plopped my butt into my usual seat at my lunch table as David shortly followed. “What’s up?” he asked as he started his meal. I didn’t know what to think anymore about anything. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing” I said quickly, hoping he wouldn’t pry further.
“Okay, then why do you look like you’re not present on this planet today?” He concluded smartly.
“Just thinking.” I replied trying to keep my mind focused on our conversation.
“About what?” he said between mouthfuls of food. I looked up at him, really watching him. I didn’t get what Jesse said and it was frankly bothering me. What was wrong with David? His dark sandy hair was short and his hazel eyes always seemed to shine happily at me. He wasn’t ugly in the slightest way, he had a strong jaw and a decent nose to mouth ratio. He could date if he wanted to but he didn’t want that…at first it was Caitlin and now it was me… I guess that was odd. David was still a good guy though. I sighed, I was so tired of thinking about it but I couldn’t get past it.
Cait walked over to my table without her arm candy for once. “So you have to tell me what happened in first period” she said sitting down.
“What do you mean?” I asked pretending to be confused, knowing only too well what she meant.
“What did he say to you? Was he asking about me?” Caitlin said starting in on her own lunch.
David asked, “who?” but quickly got his answer after what I said.
“No, he didn’t say anything about you, Caitlin, he was just asking about the dance and stuff.” I said annoyed that she couldn’t imagine we would talk about anything but her.
“Did he ask you?” she asked with a raised eyebrow.
“No, he knows I’m going with David… and I’m your best friend.” I replied snidely.
“Jesse talked to you?” David interrupted; I nodded trying to not show the conflict on my face. “That’s it?”
“You two seemed pretty engrossed I thought it was something good.” Caitlin added but she was losing steam.
“No…nothing.” I said with a sigh, hopefully Caitlin didn’t notice that and she didn’t.
“I wonder why he sat in front of you then?” she said mostly to herself. The funny thing was I wondered the exact same thing in every one of my other classes I had with him, but I never mentioned that I had any other classes than first and eighth period with Jesse.
This guy was totally torturing me for no apparent reason. Lunch ended rather uneventfully. I walked to Chemistry with David. “Seriously now what happened?” David said pausing in front of me.
“What I told you happened” I said trying to avoid his accusing gaze.
“Well there is something up with you today.” He remarked as he started walking again.
“Dave… I don’t know what he’s doing but he’s torturing me!” I said exasperated. I couldn’t hold in my confusion any longer and Dave was the only one I’d ever talked to about this problem. In spite of everything that was happening between us, he was the only one I could tell this to.