5 SIMPLE STEPS TO
HARMONAY AT HOME
by Lay Ean Eng
SMASHWORDS EDITION
PUBLISHED BY
Lay Ean Eng on Smashwords
Copyright 2011
Lay Ean Eng
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Harmony at Home
Harmony at Home—I believe it is something everyone on this planet yearns for. It is the foundation of a happy and balanced family! Whether we admit it or not, we all strive to achieve harmony in our lives—carving our own marks on our lifestyles, life journey, challenges, and circumstances; and each and every one of us will go through a different journey to achieve it.
In today’s society, everyone is BUSY! And being a parent is no exception. Parents not only have to support their families and pay the household bills, but they also have to find ways to make time to work towards maintaining a happy and balanced family.
Having said all the above, achieving harmony at home is not impossible, it just takes some awareness and work.
Wherever you are right now in your life, you are in a perfect place to begin. In this eBook, you will learn on how to achieve harmony at home, find out who you are as a person and parent, learn to create better connections with your spouse and children, and develop a better understanding of who your children are. You will also understand why it is important to honour who you are and look after yourself and to create a home where everyone feels that they belong. Finally, you will learn to be the go-to person for your family.
What is Harmony at Home?
Let’s first start by defining what is harmony at home? It can be defined as having a place where family members can feel safe and secure, where they are accepted for who they are, and where all members are happy, learning and thriving in their endeavours. But most of all, it is a place where everyone feels they belong, are loved and feel respected.
First, let me congratulate you for joining me on this journey. I look forward to sharing some ideas and skills to achieve harmony at your home front.
I wish peace to your balanced and happy family!
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Note from the Author
Hi! My name is Lay-Ean Eng, founder of GoKids and GoParents. I am a mum with two wonderful teenagers and a loving and supportive husband. I live in the beautiful city of Sydney, Australia, with my family. I was born in Penang, Malaysia, but I came to Australia 25 years ago to study and ended up settling here.
What Prompted Me to Write This eBook
I have always been very fascinated and passionate about children and parenting issues; that’s why I created GoKids 15 years ago and GoParents two years ago.
My passion comes from my childhood journey in Malaysia, observing the interactions between my own family and my relatives. Also, having raised my own family in Australia, I have the privilege of experiencing the expectations of parenting issues in both cultures, which made me more aware, sensitive and empathetic of parenting in a modern and multi-cultural society.
What actually prompted me to look into the issue in more depth were my experiences during the two years when I was running seminars and workshops for teenagers. I had the privilege of interacting with parents from various family backgrounds, and learned about what they desired most for their families - they wanted to be happy, they wanted to be able to interact harmoniously with their children and spouses easily and enjoy their company; and, on top of that, they wanted their children to be the best they could in their endeavours.
It doesn’t sound that hard, does it? However, we still struggle daily to achieve a balanced and harmonious family environment. Why, you may ask? Is it our culture?
Is it our beliefs? What actually is the “secret ingredient” for a happy and balanced family? Let’s explore this issue together, shall we?
We walk different paths and journeys, are raised in different cultures and under different belief systems; and we have different ways of handling life’s issues…so how do we achieve our objectives of Happy, Healthy and Harmonious Families?
In this eBook, I share five core principles, in the format of steps and ideas, through my own experiences that I believe will empower you to achieve a harmonious home, irrespective of your beliefs and cultures.
I am confident that all the steps and ideas are achievable; they just need a little practice and creativity
The Five Simple Steps that I am sharing are the following:
Care for yourself and your family.
Create a connection.
Share responsibilities in the home.
Respect and honour on another.
Lead.
In life, we go through our ups and downs daily; situations arise daily, BUT the important distinction is HOW you handle the situations. These daily decisions help you to find more peace in yourself and your family dynamics.
I hope you will truly benefit from this eBook. I am deeply honoured to be able to serve you in your journey.
Lay-Ean Eng, Founder, GoKids | GoParents
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Table of Contents
Step #1: Care for yourself and your family.
The Importance of Staying Connected
Step #3: Share responsibilities at home.
Teaching Your Children Responsibility
Respecting Your Children for Who They Are
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Step #1: Care for yourself and your family.
Rediscovering Yourself7
-Caring for Yourself
-What do I want?
-Who am I?
-What is your belief system?
Staying Healthy15
-Exercise and Meditation
-Healthy Eating
Personal Development17
-Journaling
-Daily Affirmation
Permission to be Happy19
-Delegation of Duties
-Setting Priorities
-Guilt and Learning How to Let Go
Rediscovering Yourself
Caring for Yourself
When I was growing up, I understood that my parents were busy; in fact, they were very busy. They worked two jobs to support the family, and they cared for the extended families as well, so naturally they were constantly in a state of tiredness and exhaustion—sometimes to the extent of being completely overwhelmed.
When someone ventures into an overwhelmed and tired state of being, several things could happen. They may snap at the slightest things which they will later regret, and they will not be in the best position to make the best decisions for their family. What happens next? Gradually resentment will creep in and their “negative” beliefs will start to take over their thoughts. Does that sound familiar?
When you are in such state, you are exerting a very negative energy not only on yourself but towards everyone around you (i.e., your family). Basically, when you do not function at the optimal happiness, everyone at home will not function well either.
You will know what I mean when you are in this situation. It is extremely unpleasant, and you are literally pushing everyone away.
How do you overcome this? The first step is to take control. Are you constantly running around and finding reasons why you always feel overwhelmed? You probably know that at some point in time, it has to stop. The next step is identifying the cause.
Where to Start
First and foremost, being conscious of “who you are” is paramount to your family’s happiness. It is about Rediscovering Yourself and Knowing What You Want in life.
Two questions that you may want to want to ask yourself are:
•Who am I?
•What do I want?
Who am I?
By understanding who you are and learning techniques to overcome your shortfalls and life journey programming, you will be able to have better control of your life and become the parent and leader your family deserves.
Below are a few questions that could serve as your guide. These questions will help you to uncover knowledge about yourself as a person, parent and partner.
About Myself
•What makes me happy?
•What do I want to achieve in life?
•What are my values?
•What is it that I would like from my partner?
•What is my expectation in life?
•What are my self beliefs?
•What is my best childhood memory?
•What is my worst childhood memory?
•Why do I respond to a certain behavior the way that I do?What are the things that I most often complain about?
•When I am angry, I react in a certain way. Why?
About Myself as a Parent
•What is it that I would like for my family?
•What would I like to experience as a parent?
•What do I like most about my children?
•If I do not like it when my children behave in a certain way, how do I react? Why?
•I react negatively to some things my children do? Why?
•What is my biggest satisfaction as parent?
•What is my biggest fear as a parent?
•What aspects about my parenting style do I like?
•What aspects about my parenting style I do not like?
About My Partner/Spouse
•What do I like most about my spouse?
•When my partner mentions something that I do not like, how do I react? Why?
•Do my partner and I agree on parenting methods? If not, how do I handle the disagreement?
•What do I like about my partner’s parenting style?
•How do my partner and I support each other in our parenting efforts?
The level of your personal awareness correlates with the degree of achieving your goal of a happy, balanced and harmonious family.
Go through the answers to the questions above, and it will give you better insight into who you are and the way you parent your children.