A Day Without Words
by James Brown
A Day Without Words
by James Brown
Smashwords Edition
Copyright 2011 James Brown
Cover Art
Copyright 2011 James Brown
Smashwords Edition, License Notes
This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to Smashwords.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.
Change is seldom easy and Karen's life seems like a desperate, lost trail, leaving her smothered in feelings of loneliness. The darkness in her life has allowed some things to slip away, others to be taken. Alone, Karen might have a chance and find her way back into the light, someday, but stumbling through her loneliness, Karen will learn that some things are worse than being alone.
1:28 A.M.
When she opened her eyes, the same stale images were around her. Even painted in the black of night, her room reeked of childhood and she was sick of the whole place from the simple, white dresser with its adorable, daisy knobs to the burgundy carpet. Burgundy my ass- pink! Out, floating in the haze, watching over her, was the fluffy army with Captain Teddy and Colonel Unicorn leading the guard. Both were presents from her mother and father. She couldn't even remember when she got them- she didn't want too.
"Damn it!" Karen's eyes clenched tight, pressing out all of the drab light that had seeped in through her taffeta curtains. She couldn't sleep again. It had been several nights since she had gotten what her mother would consider a full nights rest. Lying in the darkness, she could hardly think straight. Desperately shifting from her left side to the right, she took a deep breath. The warm air tasted smothered and sick, like it had slipped out of someone's dying mouth. All across her skin moisture was forming. Karen felt limp like steamed broccoli and squirmed between the sheets. The sweat pricked her hairs as it sucked against her, working its way over her and pooling into the recesses of her body. Like secrete, dirty hands, the dribbles spread down, mashed against her chest, swept past her thighs and slid from the small of her back to in between the sensitive curves of her bottom.
Brian hovered around her. His pale blue eyes closed in on her and Karen felt her moist skin slip onto itself. A warm blossom spread through her body and instantly she hurt. Her heart fell heavy into the mattress like dead weight. She lay with cold tears stinging down her face, wondering why he broke up with her. He said he loved her. He loves me... Recklessly, her weight flipped and buried her face into her hot fingers, into the pillowcase. She trapped him, holding him deep inside of her. Pressing her weight onto him, collapsing her jagged ribcage around him; her sharp tips stabbing into him, drawing his blood and smearing it across his raw skin. If she squeezed enough, his breath would shrivel inside of his chest, leaving him praying for air and struggling to escape.
Stop! Karen relaxed and turned over onto her back. The damp night shirt stuck to her side and twisted around her body, wringing her like a wet rag. Lifting her back off of the mattress, she straightened herself out.
Karen whispered into the still air, "Just relax... it's OK." Back against the mattress, she felt the cool dampness. Karen squeezed her eyelids together, tighter than before, until a static charge burst inside her head. Breathe, just count them... one, she sucked the foul air inside of her, two... out, three... out, in... out, her chest trembled against the breaths dragging through her burning insides. When she reached ten, Karen lay trying not to think or move, cutting her breaths in half, but still awake. The exercise only worked sometimes. On bad nights, like this, it might take several cycles before the black ink would smear down from her mind and blind her to the world.
2:27 A.M.
The shadow crushed down on her, stealing her breath. Her mind raced through the room, searching for the figure, wondering if she was still dreaming. It started as a gentle pittering that barely broke her thoughts, but with each stretching moment her heart beat harder, rocking her body deeper and quicker until she felt herself bouncing on top of the bed.
Pinned down, Karen wanted to speak to the shadow creeping around her room. Her pulsing body called out to the figure, but she didn't dare utter aloud. Momma... Daddy... Brian? Silence echoed inside of her and, for a moment, she was relieved, "No one... dreaming." The rough throbbing slowly quieted and Karen turned onto her side. She was alone.
Realizing that she was awake, Karen let her body settle back into the damp sheets. They felt cool below her, even though she knew that the air was still stagnant. The heavy lids of her eyes shut.
"Momma?" Rising off the mattress, Karen scanned the room. The sound shattered her silent world. There was nothing for her eyes to focus on in the dark, but the tapping hadn't stopped, even after she spoke and pulled the covers up across her chest. The sound was small, nothing like the heavy shadow that had haunted out of her dream. Quick and light, the noise trickled up her hand and warmed her chest before settling just behind her left earlobe. She wrapped around her gentle pulse, swaddling the restless child deep inside of her.
6:07 A.M.
A thousand needles dug into her, warming her bones. Passing her head in and out of the shower's stream, Karen washed away the night. The hot water made her skin burn. It cracked and peeled away from her body and she rubbed at the scalded flesh. She could smell the steam, earthy and thick. Her lungs sucked at each breath for air and, lightheaded, she steadied herself. The tiles were cold against her head. Still tired, she leaned her arms onto the wall. Karen wanted to stay in the deafening, numbing rain forever.
The mirror was blind and crying. Karen wiped her wrinkled palm across it, smearing away the protective layer. Her hand was an ancient, bloated corpse claw, but even that was better than the image starring at Karen from the distorted mirror. Her eyes had sunken in, leaving her head pitted by twin raisins. They had once been a vibrant blue. She wondered how her face could look thin, even boney, and her body so soft and round. Everything was too big, her nose, her ears and the dumpy hips, which for added insult, narrowed at her knees like skinned chicken legs. The only things that Karen wanted to stand out, were small and nearly flat against her ribcage.