How I Met My Real Soul-mate Online On Valentines Day 2011
M G Sinclair
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Published By M G Sinclair at Smashwords
Copyright 2011 M G Sinclair
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The Characters in my book are real.
This is a true story about how a lonely single dad of 11 years, with 2 kids in tow, found true love out of shear frustration on Valentines day 2011, on a free dating website of all places .
I have written and produced a song in my studio called "love drunk ", which was inspired by the woman I met online, you can download the mp3 song for free by clicking the link at the end of my book, Below is a snippet of what she said.
Her words went as follow...Valentine’s Day 2011 started lonely and like any other Monday , getting the kids ready for school etc. This Monday I was going to the third lesson of my holistic course. After the lesson I was supposed to go drumming but circumstances did not allow me to go which upset me a great deal.
I sat down with a coffee and thought about what the evening would bring. I had invites to go out for a drink or a meal from several men but none of them was Mr Right material so I chose not to give them false hope.
You can read more on our website, the link is at the end of the book.
6 am, Monday morning, on the 14 of February 2011, my alarm went of, I knew it was that time again for me to rise up out of my bed and get ready for the working day ahead. I reluctantly crawled out of bed, had a good long stretch and the thought popped into my head, it's Valentines day today, that thought did not fill me with confidence.
Anyway, off I went to run a bath, while brushing my teeth, I started to think about how wonderful it would be to have a valentines date since I haven't had one for the past 11 years, I remember asking myself the question, am I going to be left on the shelf ? why cant I find someone to love, am a nice guy, but most females do not appreciate nice guys.
Time was ticking away fast, so I quickly jumped in the bath and within 5 minutes I was out, I was dressed and ready to leave my house 10 minutes later. In my car I jumped and was off to work knowing that my place of work would be filled with couples, hugging, kissing, gazing lovingly into each others eyes, smiling, laughing and all loved up. By this time I could feel the green eyed monster inside me rising to the surface, jealousy was looming.
Finally I reached my place of work which is a 4 star hotel, I work there as a public area cleaner so am very much in contact with the public as it's my job to keep the hotels public areas clean and tidy.
As the day unfold, more and more couples were emerging, by mid day, the place was swarmed with couples, the more I saw, the more I became frustrated, a little envious and jealous, wishing that I was in that situation.
I clearly recall a conversation I had with one couple that was hoovering around the reception area kissing, I mean proper tonsil tennis, tongue down throat right in-front of my eyes , I cheekily said to them, " get a room " they turned, looked at me, smiled and said, that's exactly where we are going now, can you imaging how I felt by this time ! Sick to the stomach in fact.
I was longing for the love of a good woman, I wanted to feel her touching me and me touching her, I wanted to do all the things couples do, I missed that and had finally come to the realisation that, I could not allow past hurt, pain and heartbreak to mar my present life any more, as I have done so for too many years without getting anywhere, enough is enough.
Yes I had contact with women in the 11 years that I was single, but I did not feel that mutual connection, that " Chemistry " you feel when you meet someone, with any of those ladies, and I was determined not to just settle for anyone, I knew what I was looking for in a woman and was prepared to wait some more, even thou my loneliness was worst than ever, but as they say, good things come to those who wait, and am a great believer in that.
As the day went on I became more and more frustrated, I started reasoning with myself, as you do, I started to question myself saying, what if I never find the woman I think would be right for me? should have I settled for one of those ladies that I wasn't completely happy with? where am I going wrong and what am I going to do about it .
These questions dominated my mind for the last hour of work, and whilst on my way home I made a conscious decision to go all out and try again, put my recently mended heart back out there, just try and meet someone tonight, go out, dress up and go to the pub, even if it's for a pint of beer, after-all, that's all I could afford, I really wanted to go into town so I could meet some gorgeous, sexy eye candy who would be happy to talk to me.
By the time I got home my whole plans for the evening changed some what. I kicked off my shoes, went into my bedroom and fired up my laptop. I remembered one or two paid dating websites that I joined some months back but had no luck with, but I decided to just check them again, just to see if my profile and pictures had attracted a hottie.
Disappointed with my results again, I could feel my eyes filling up with emotions of sadness, heartache, frustration, loneliness and disappointment. eleven years of not being able to feel the magical power of love, also not having a sweet and sexy intelligent woman in my life to enrich me and make me complete hurts more than I realised or was willing to admit to.
It was then I did something that I said I would never do again, ever. I reluctantly, and out of shear frustration, joined this particular free dating website that I have been on and off for the past four years. The reason's for me being on and off this site was because my experiences with at least 98% of the women I met were game players.
I particularly remember this one woman I met on the site back in 2008 who sent me a friendly message complimenting me on my smile and my good looks, by her comment, I was flattered, naturally, but also was very curious to see a picture of her as she did not have a profile picture or any other picture on her profile page so I asked her if she could put one up so that I could see who I was talking to, her reply was, I will in a few days, I want to look my best for you, I could not wait.
A few days later, she had a picture up and I liked what I saw, she was looking really good and I got excited, we chatted on the site and eventually exchanged phone numbers. We flirted on the phone via text messages to start with, it was heavy stuff full of sexual innuendos which got me very horny I can tell you, a few weeks in I wanted more.
I wanted to see her live, not just a photo and I wanted to talk to her on the phone but she refused which raised the alarm bells in my mind that maybe, just maybe she is not as genuine as she makes out, so after about 4 months I decided to apply a bit of pressure and arrange a meeting. She then told me that she had family nearby me and that she would be visiting then and would like to meet me.
I was so excited by the prospect of meeting her, she looked hot from her picture and I was hoping she looked the same when we meet. A few days passed and the meeting was set up, on the day we were meant to meet she blew me out big time, I was gutted, to cut a long story short we continued sending text messages to each other for another 2- 3 weeks then all of a sudden she stopped I never heard from her again.
My experiences on dating websites left me very cautious, so on valentines day 2011, when I rejoined this particular free dating website again, I was not expecting to meet a woman with serious intentions but secretly I was praying and hoping that I would, after-all, I have been on and off the site for the past 4 years, I really had enough, I've passed the desperate stage, had a few one night stands, been stalked, lied to, too many times and just wanted to meet one woman that was right for me.
My profile was now up on the site, with a picture, my mind was sharp but I was frustrated, seeing all those couples at my workplace being all lovely dovey made me realise how much I wanted the loving heart and tender touch of a woman. My profile write up was above average, I really laid my cards on the table, expressing in great details what I wanted, what I was into and what I would not stand for, lies, mind games, deception.
Within minutes of signing up I started to receive messages from ladies that wanted to talk to me but none of them were what I was looking for. About one hour later I changed the age range I was looking for, from 27-43 to 27- 45, am 43, initially I wanted someone younger than me as I tend to find women older than me or my age group were almost ready to retire from life.
If I had not changed the age group I was interested in she would have just sat above my radar and we would not have met. That would have been a crying shame, but somehow I was guided by a hunch or a powerful spiritual force beyond me, I was inspired to make that change, so glad I did.
Anyway, within seconds of making the changes in my profile and saving it, I looked up and saw that I had a new message, immediately I checked her profile picture and thought " WOW" then I looked at her age and it was the top end of what I just changed it to, it was a weird spooky moment for me, within, a feeling engulf my whole being, one I could not explain.
So after checking out her picture, age and location, I started to read her message, it said, " the holistic approach hey " I knew there and then that this woman has read all my profile write up and was on my wavelength, it was a surreal moment in my life, I became very curious and wanted to learn more about this woman.
We continued to send messages back and forth on valentines day then she mentioned Skype to me, I thought to myself, I've heard that name before but never knew what people used it for. When I checked it out I was very astonished that she would invite me to talk to her on Skype. Skype I thought to myself, she wants to see me, oh my days, that's what I've wanted for a long time, to see who am talking to online before I made up my mind to meet them or not.
I had MSN but most of the women I use to talk on there apparently never had a web-cam but always wanted to see me, so you can imaging my excitement when this woman wanted to see me. Two days later I had downloaded Skype and set up my profile, we arranged a time to have our first Skype video call but nerves was getting the better of me.
The moment of truth was just minutes away, so much was going through my mind like, what if she doesn't look like her profile picture on the dating website? what if their is no chemistry between us? with all this in mind, I was still prepared to see her remembering that it was her idea.
As the video call moment arrived, my palms were sweating, my heart was racing but I was ready for her. As soon as I saw her on our video call, I had a feeling of relief because what I saw on her dating profile picture I liked, and what I was seeing on my web-cam was even better, very gorgeous I thought.
The chemistry on our video call was instant, we spoke for hours, the more I heard about her the more I wanted to hear. I began to realise that me and this woman had so much in common and that she just could be the one I have been hoping, praying and searching for, for the past 11 years.
The more I got to know her the more I started to believe what she told me, unlike the past women I have met online, my lie detector was switched on, I could not detect any lies, none whatsoever, this made me really happy to know that finally, I've met someone who is " on the level " which made me relax, stopped looking for lies or waiting for her to "tripping up" she did not disappoint, she ticked so many boxes, I was so looking forward to meeting her in person.
It was an absolute must for me to feel I can, and be able to trust my potential partner, initial trust I will give freely to anyone, beyond that they must earn it, but the moment they show signs of mistrust, within that same moment is when I withdraw all the trust I have for them, I do this to protect myself.
In the 10 months that me and this lady have been together, my internet true beauty has never ever given me any reasons or concerns not to trust her and believe me when I say this, if I cannot trust my woman, as much as I love her, then there is no continuation of our relationship, period, here's why.
Am quite sure most of you can relate to this, the wisdom and knowledge that I have gained from my intimate relationship experiences has taught me that love alone is not enough to sustain and maintain a healthy and happy successful relationship, it takes love, respect, respecting one's self and the other person, honesty, being honest to yourself and your potential partner, understanding, acceptance rather than approval of each other's ways, characteristics, personal traits. and last but by no means least, TRUST.
Ten days after we met online ( valentines day ) we agreed to meet face to face. She travelled Eighty Seven miles approximately to meet me which made me think " this gorgeous nice classy lady is so into me for her to come all this way to be in my company, she must really like me so far, I could feel my heart smiling again.
On the evening when we met, I remember waiting for her at the train station, sweating like a pig and thinking to myself, I hope she looks as beautiful in the flesh as she does on my web-cam, After a short wait, I received a text message from her saying she is at the station but needed to pop to the toilet, I was anxious but prepared to play the waiting game for a little while longer.
After a few short minutes, suddenly she was in my sight, gorgeous, classy, beautiful with long flowing blonde hair, tall enough for me not to bend down to kiss her which was a bonus, she looked amazing, I could not take my eyes of her, not for one second I felt like running, I like what I saw and felt comfortable with meeting her at first sight.
As she elegantly walked like a model towards me, I suddenly felt this weird feeling like I've never felt before, it was the most surreal moment of my life, we both clapped eyes on each other, our smiles were so big and bright, everything and everyone around us seemed to come to a standstill as we hugged each other like two long lost friends, it lasted for about 30 seconds, it was magical.
Am pretty sure our embrace would have lasted for longer if our tram didn't arrive, our souls really connected, on the way back to my house we were chatting away like we have met before, some place, in some other sphere, maybe in our past life.
I felt so comfortable with standing in her space and her in mine, we lovingly looked into each others eyes, searching one another's souls, it was a weird but incredible feeling, somehow, I personally knew unconsciously that she was the one for me, I found it weird and wonderful, the feeling I was experiencing, it was what I needed to feel from a potential partner.
As wary as I was about inviting her back to my house it felt right, I didn't want to introduce just any woman to my children, she could have been a really nasty horrid person, a great liar, but my intuition told me she was "on the level" having kids herself whom I have seen on my web-cam put my mind somewhat at ease.
We arrived at my home and had a coffee, she love's her coffee, then continued getting to know each other, it was very strange for me having her in my house, considering the fact that ten days ago I met this gorgeous, sweet woman online, I never thought it would have been possible to meet someone genuine on a free dating website.
Within a month, I travelled up to her house to check out her environment and family situation, I needed to know, see how she interact with her kids and meet them and some of her friends, I was developing strong feelings for her but before I opened my heart completely, I needed to be 100% sure about her, I need this to help me make my mind up before I made any kind of commitment.
The more I saw her the more I was certain that this was the way forward for me, I did not, and wasn't prepared to settle for miss right now or second best, I wanted miss right, she was showing positive signs of being my first choice, my miss right.
When I finally met her children and her friends I was very nervous, it was a quite daunting because there were loads of them that wanted to meet me. It all went extremely well and by the time I left her house I knew that a relationship was definitely on the card, this made me a happy guy.
As our relationship progressed and grew from strength to strength over the coming months, We were getting on so well with a few " it's too good to be true moments" but in reality it was true, it was real, and it was like, a gift from god.
In the first 6 weeks of our relationship we had 3 arguments, disagreements, misunderstanding, call it what you like, but we overcame them in a short time, we both had been hurt badly in the past and had one or two hangups but nothing major, we weren't prepared to let the past hurt and heartaches have any power over our present life.
Within four months I started to see her as my future wife, I have never been married but was engaged for 6 years, she was all woman, everything that I wanted in a woman and more, before I met her I was so anti marriage but this beautiful woman erased all that.
I did not tell her that I saw her as my wife, then about a month later, while we were lying in bed talking, we talk a lot, I asked her if she would like to be my wife, her reaction and response was that of a girl in love, she sounded so happy when she said yes, she knew that I wasn't play mind games, she knew I was for real.
We really started to get somewhere in our relationship, it's all going better than we both expected but at the same time we did not have any expectations, we just wanted to take it one day at a time and see how things would develop.
I started to feel my love for her getting deeper and deeper, I just wanted to be with her, properly, but the long distance between us was really getting to me, 5 months in the relationship I called it of because I couldn't deal with not having her around, I was so in love with her by this time and it hurt.
I needed her, not to live a successful life or to breathe, but I want her because she makes me complete, and when I am without her I feel so incomplete. I told her the bad new that I was starting to feel the strain on our long distance relationship and then I discovered that she was feeling the same.
You see, the plan was to do the long distance thing, back and forth for the next 3 years and the thought of that cuts like a knife in my heart, I started to feel myself getting really stressed about the situation we were in and could not find a solution to the problem and the only way around it was to end it.
After some serious soul searching and careful consideration, a few days later you could say " I came to my senses " I was not prepared to give up the most suitable woman for me just because of the distance and a few other issues, I have never felt like this about any female ever in my life, so why would I make one of the biggest mistakes in my life?
We talk and talk, eventually we came to a resolution and saw the realisation that our love is not the type that you just give up, we have to find a way of coming together, either she move to me or I move to her but our situations and circumstances made it difficult to do so.
This made me more determine to cut the 3 year wait to a more acceptable time frame, one that I could deal with, something more realistic in my mind. Before I met her I wanted to move house but I didn't know where I wanted to move to, Years ago I told my children that I want to move but didn't know where to.
Now it all fits perfectly where I should be moving to, near my lovely lady. So I told her the fantastic news that in summer 2012, I will be moving house, giving up my whole life just so that I can be with her and start a brand new life. Am ready, willing and prepared to take on her and her 5 children and 2 cats
We are looking forward to the future when we can finally be nearer to each other, at the moment we only see each other as and when we can and that's okay now, we both accept that and have worked together, keeping in mind that we are meant to be united, we certainly do compliment each other.
I've never heard about twin souls or twin flame before, it was a new concept to me until my baby enlightened me, for me it was all about finding my soul-mate, longing and searching for her and to be honest, I thought I found her in my ex partner, but now I have learnt that when we, as human beings, when created, were assigned a soul-mate, our twin, yin and yang.
Nowadays, that aching feeling I use to feel deep in my heart and soul has finally disappeared, a void inside me has been filled and am overjoyed, this is like a little miracle for me meeting my internet love on a free dating website, who would have thought hey!
I've searched so many dating website, free and paid ones now I do not have to do that again and I must add, am happy to be out of the dating game, 11 years of being a single parent, searching, healing, being rejected by other women, Its a very long time to be single wouldn't you agree?
Now I have a beautiful lady "who gets me", she is wonderful, incredible sexy, a true beautiful woman who does so much for me, I regularly get long Indian head massages, hand massage, foot massage, body massage, the works, I've never been massaged so much in all my life "laughing out loud", but I love it and she love's doing it.
My friends and family are very happy that I have found love, or should I say, love has found me, Hers are the same, I've learnt to love again, I had to adapt and develop a brand new personality 11 years ago, it was like a personality upgrade, and on my journey of self discovery I found a new love for myself, a deeper love.
I have now found the woman I want to spend the rest of my life with so I went out a week before Christmas 2011 and bought my beautiful gorgeous baby an engagement ring, so on Christmas day I will go down on one knee in the presence of god, and our 7 children, hopefully, and pop the question, Am sure she will say yes, am confident about it :)
The time will come soon when I will make her my first and last wife, this is it for me, she is the only woman for me, the one that was created for me, this I believe with all my heart, with all my being, I've waited a lifetime for this and now my prayers have been answered.
Finally I can say, Goodbye loneliness, goodbye heartbreak, goodbye mistrust, goodbye goodbye goodbye, you have taught me a lot and have helped to make me the man I am today, even though over the years, I had to endure great pain heartache and suffering, in a weird but strange way it was worth it.
UPDATE...On Christmas day I went down on one knee, in the presence of our children and asked her to marry me, after the initial shock, she said yes, it was a shock to everyone but a very pleasant one, it was our first Christmas together, it was very special, happy and peaceful, now we will enjoy our engagement for a while then get married.
This will be her second marriage and my first and last, I now have a wonderful fiancee, she's hot sexy and very beautiful, she has made my Christmas very special and I look forward to our future life together where two loving caring hearts become one, here's something that bring back memories of valentines day.
Remember that couple that was at my workplace? the ones that were kissing each other's face off? They were the ones I told to get a room! well, now me and my classy sexy lady frequently hear the same thing,every time I hear it, it makes me chuckle , brings a smile to my face, I will never forget St Valentines day 2011.
You can see our free dating website profile picture,
and read her valentines day experience, by clicking the link below.
http://melti.ws/martina&mel.html
My advice to anyone that is searching dating websites for love
Make sure you are certain and ready to get back into the dating game, keep your profile real and interesting, no BS or lies either to yourself or others, and if you have any hangups over past hurts and let downs, release and let them go once and forever, don't allow them to influence your present life, the past is the past, deal with it, learn from it and move on.
Do not play mind games, they will only eventually backfire on you, I know this from my own personal dating experience, by all means yes, flirt and have fun, but don't give false hope to anyone, it's not fair on them, if you are not attracted to the person you are talking to then say so.
Stay true to yourself, it's the only way you will attract the right person, someone like you, with similar likes, believes, morals interest for example, it's the persons personality traits and characteristic that really matters, not how much money or material possessions they have acquired.
And last but not least, before you make a conscious decision to meet ANYONE..set-up a Skype or MSN account so you can see the person you fancy in your video calls to each other, it's free to set-up, and if the other person don't want you to see them on a video call then find out why, be wary.
If they are genuine and their profile picture is really a true likeness of them then they will have no reason whatsoever not to want you to see them on a video call, don't accept any lame and feeble excuses.
I've heard so many, and am almost certain you have too, don't let the weeks, months and years pass by and you find yourself being left on the shelf, take the plunge, put your heart back out there again, your now much stronger and wiser than you think. good luck.
The end.