Follow Me
Poetry from the Heart and Soul
By Tammy Dennings Maggy
Copyright 2011 Tammy Dennings Maggy
Smashwords Edition
Smashwords Edition, License Notes
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* * * *
The Vixen, The Witch and The Daemon
* * * *
This collection of poetry is dedicated to my muse, Michael Liam Smith. When I was at my darkest hour, he came into my life unexpectedly and has helped me find myself again. Thank you, Liam! You truly are my safe harbor, my angel and mo anam cara. I love you, now and forever.
* * * *
When I was a child I sat in the corner
And daydreamed about the things I wished I had.
I hated boys and their rough games.
Girlfriends were sometimes very mean,
And my parents always treated me like a baby.
If anyone was looking for me,
I would escape into my dream world
And become someone else.
And here I am.
Doing the things I dreamt about,
The center of attention,
* * * *
Why Me?
Growing up I was the responsible one
Put in charge, made to watch
While others got to have fun
Why me?
Taught to respect my elders
Painfully shy, I never complained
But cried inside along the sidelines
Why me?
Boys chasing my sisters
Were always around
Talking to me but
Looking through me
Because I was invisible.
Why me?
As the years go by
Boyfriends turn to husbands
Wives become mothers
But a different path was chosen
For the first born
Why me?
Career blossoms
No time for dating
No time for fun
Going through life alone
Why me?
Yearning to be loved
Wanting to be cherished
Searching for the One
But never finding him
Why me?
Prince Charming married someone else
Forgetting about the one in the Tower
The dream of being a mother
Abandoned long ago.
Destined to go through life alone
Why me?
* * * *
Lover’s Triads
It always begins with that first touch,
Shake of the hand, nod of the head,
The melody of the child’s laughter
We all love so much.
A friendship is born.
A lifelong partnership begins.
Bonds formed during childhood torn
So that those of star crossed lovers can win.
The seed was sown in the past long ago;
It will bear fruit that can now be savored…
In a way we all hope and pray to know.
The promise of love never ending,
Brightens the darkness that shrouds
Our hearts and casts it full of woe.
A new love bursts forth as a young Maiden
Innocent and pure…
Until she finds love’s first kiss.
The Mother nurtures that love
Through their child nursing at their breast.
And on her face one can see
Pure, unadulterated bliss.
The Eternal Flame continues to flourish
Through the years well into their twilight days.
And can be witnessed through the eyes
Of the Wise and Weathered Grandmother
Humming lullabies…
Passing on the Ancient Ways.
As always the cycle remains the same.
The new love once born
Needs to be tended with care.
As it grows and changes
We learn it’s not all fun and games.
But if we have faith and endure
The fantasy will be the reality
That only two hearts can share.
* * * *
Can This Be It?
Just going through the motions day after day
Can this be it?
Barely existing.
Passion missing?
Others seem to find it,
Why not me?
Loneliness overwhelms
Making it easier to settle
For just okay…
No heat
No fire
No passion
Could this be it?
Barely existing.
Desire missing?
Longing to be wanted against all odds
To be kissed with abandon.
Fire burning out of control.
Could this be it?
Barely existing
Love missing?
Memories of the one
Who long ago stole my heart
Ignite the spark…
No longer afraid of rejection
Took a chance
Bared my soul.
Desire building
Fire burning
Passion flooding through
My heart and soul.
No longer alone
Just barely existing
This is it…
Together again
Skin on skin
Flame on Flame
Heart to Heart
Soul to Soul
* * * *
Forever Love
His emerald green eyes burn into hers right from the start.
Why can’t she speak? Why can’t she breathe?
When he looks at her, all she feels
Is the relentless pounding of her heart.
Strange and yet so familiar the way he makes her feel.
It’s as if they’ve been together always and forever.
Too shy to open up her soul;
Scared of rejection and humiliation
She is unable to tell him.
Days turn into weeks.
Months turn into years…
But his eyes and smile still haunt her dreams
And continue to pull at her heart.
Always yearning, forever searching
For those smoldering eyes to pull her in.
Life goes on. People come and go.
But something has always been missing
From a life filled with fleeting moments of joy
And way too much pain.
Always yearning, forever searching
For the one who could make her feel whole.
Lady Fate steps in, no longer leaving it to chance.
She is tired of watching and waiting…
For Her two lost souls to join each other…
For the love that has always been
And forever will be.
She takes control to bring them together
No more waiting, no more searching.
His eyes burn into hers once again…
This time there is a confession, her soul naked and open.
Still afraid of rejection, but willing to take the chance
To be able to stop always yearning, forever searching.
For her heart knows what it wants and what it needs
Always and Forever.
* * * *
My Love, My Friend
Moving through the years with blinders on.
One track and one goal in mind:
Be the Best in school.
Be the Best and excel in my career.
But in the end these things were achieved alone.
No one to share it with
No one to stand by my side.
No one to call my love, my friend.
Pictures hold precious memories of a love unrequited.
Feelings unreturned and gone unnoticed;
Never confessed to my love, my friend.
Heart and Soul kept locked tight
Behind thick walls of pain and sadness.
Bound by chains of self doubt;
Barricaded behind steel doors of shyness and loneliness.
Terrified of rejection from my love, my friend.
The years fly by.
Lovers come and go.
But none were ever allowed
Completely through all of the defenses
Guarding my secret:
The identity of my love, my friend.
One day we meet again.
Time stands still.
Talk comes with ease.
Secrets shared, pain and hurt confessed.
Forever enduring love finally proclaimed
To my love, my friend.
Could it be true?
He feels the same?
Could we try to see if the fantasy could be our reality?
All signs from our past and present
Point us in that direction…
But will he hold true?
Will he really be my love, my friend?
His heart is torn.
Stay with the life and “love” he knows
And the empty comfort she offers,
Or try something new.
Something he thought was lost
And never could be.
Will I lose him once again…
My love, my friend?
Time will tell and heal all wounds
Laid bare by his rejection.
The feelings get locked away once again.
The walls go back up;
The pieces of my broken heart find each other
And repair ever so slowly and grieve
For my love, my friend.
Our lives move forward.
Messages still sent to each other.
Wishing to be together;
Unable to break free…
At least not yet.
False promises of love and life changes
Hold him in place.
He knows it will fail,
But is more afraid of rejection from a love
So long endured and cherished.
Afraid to take the chance
That true love will win.
Afraid he doesn’t deserve it.
Afraid he cannot live up to it.
So he settles for the pain he knows
Until the day he realizes he is worth it.
He is special;
He has always lived up to the fantasy.
He is and has always been
My love, my friend.
* * * *
You work so hard to just get by,
Worried that when it’s all said and done
It’s not enough and you ask yourself why.
Why keep up the fight and all the pretense.
Why keep giving it your all
If it’s just gonna fail in the end…
It makes no sense.
You gotta believe this can’t be it.
You gotta believe that there is more to life than this.
You gotta believe your heart can be free.
You gotta believe that you belong with me.
Just when it looks like things are going your way,
And happiness is finally within your grasp at the end of the day.
Just when you let yourself relax and kick off your shoes,
Someone shatters your hopes and dreams with their selfish views.
Just because it’s been like this for so long
Does not mean it’s the way it’s supposed to be.
Just because you keep putting up with it day after day,
Does not mean that you can’t escape…
That you can’t be free.
You gotta believe this can’t be it.
You gotta believe that there is more to life than this.
You gotta believe your heart can be free.
You gotta believe that you belong with me.
Look around, open your eyes.
Understand what is right in front of you.
Get your head out of the sand.
Open you mind, open your heart…
You know it’s past due.
I’ve been here all along.
Waiting, wanting, loving all at a distance.
Afraid to tell you; afraid to push too hard
And lose you all together.
One more plea; one more try.
Please hear me before we lose our forever.
You gotta believe this can’t be it.
You gotta believe that there is more to life than this.
You gotta believe your heart can be free.
You gotta believe that you belong with me.
* * * *
When your heart finds its soul mate
It does everything possible to convince you it’s true.
It covers up the flaws others can see clearly
Making you believe everything is all shiny and new.
No one is perfect without blemishes or flaws,
But with love’s blinders on
Your heart will not let your head
Slow down to breathe or take pause.
You can’t get through the day
Without hearing his voice,
Terms of endearment
Or reassuring you that you
Are his first and only choice.
But when the newness fades and the butterflies still,
Can your heart and head finally agree
That the flaws you both have can no longer be ignored
Or covered up with the haze of booze or pills?
Can you find the strength to walk away
When it hurts more to hold on then to let go?
Will your heart hold fast to that love
At all costs even when it shatters
Beyond repair from all the sorrow and woe?
Can you turn your back and walk away,
Eyes blinded by tears?
Can you leave the one you love
Struggling through all of his doubts and fears?
Will you keep allowing him to take your love again
Leaving your exposed and alone?
Could you shut the door and walk away
When their pleas for help cut you to the bone?
Why can’t they see that they are slowly killing you
With their promises to start anew?
Why do they keep coming back
To torture your heart and soul with
“I still love you.”
Can you walk away when your heart beats
Only for that other soul?
Will you be strong enough to turn your back and walk away
To allow your heart to heal
And once again become whole?
Close the door and walk away.
It’s so much easier said than done…
But what if you do and you lose your chance
To be with the one your heart continues
To call The One.
* * * *
Choices
Should you stay?
Should you go?
Only you can make that decision.
The answer only your heart will know.
Are you happy?
Do you greet each day with a smile?
Are you excited to build a life
With the one you are with?
Or do you long for the arms of another?
Is your heart filled with sorrow and empty promises