God Has Smiled On Me: A Tribute to a Black Father who Stayed and a Tribute to all Black Fathers who Stay
by Daniel Whyte III
Published by Torch Legacy Publications at Smashwords
Copyright 2010 by Torch Legacy Publications
ISBN: 978-1-4524-5188-6
Smashwords Edition, License Notes
This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each person. If you are reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to Smashwords.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.
Cover Photos:
Picture #1: Daniel White, Jr., Daniel White III, and Daniel White IV at Daniel White III's graduation from Bethany Divinity College and Seminary.
Picture #2: Daniel White, Jr., in a recording studio.
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DEDICATION
This book is lovingly dedicated to my grandmother, Mother "Tempie" White, whom my father loved very much. And to my favorite aunt, Rebekah Credle, who single-handedly successfully raised five boys who all graduated from college.
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CONTENTS
Introduction
Chapter 1: A Tribute to My Father's Life
Chapter 2: A Tribute to My Father's Love
Chapter 3: A Tribute to My Father's Legacy
Chapter 4: A Tribute to a Black Father Who Stayed, by Daniella Whyte
Chapter 5: Interview with My Father, Daniel White, Jr.
Chapter 6: The Command to Honor Your Father
Chapter 7: What Great Men Have Said About Their Fathers
Chapter 8: President Barack Obama Talks About the Importance of Black Men Staying with Their Children and Being Great Fathers
Chapter 9: Fatherhood, by George Foreman
Chapter 10: The Importance of Fathers Staying
Chapter 11: Great Black Fathers Besides My Own Father
Chapter 12: Powerful Words About the Importance of Fathers
Meet the Greatest Father in the World
Great Resources to Help You Become a Great Father: Books, Websites, Ministries/Organizations
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ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
First of all, I wish to thank God for allowing me the joy and privilege to do such a work as this. I also thank the Lord for a father who stayed and did the best he could.
Second, I also wish to thank my wife, Meriqua, for directing the production of this book. Thank you also to my daughter, Daniella, for typesetting the manuscript, putting the book together, helping with the proofreading, and also for writing the wonderful poem titled, A Tribute to a Black Father Who Stayed for this book; my son, Daniel IV, for designing the pages and for helping with the proofreading; my daughters: Danita, Danae`, and Daniqua, for designing the beautiful cover on this book and for doing great research in finding the quotes and Bible verses contained in this volume; and to my two youngest children, Danyel Ezekiel and Danyelle Elizabeth, for being good and quiet as I worked on this project.
I love you all and may God continue to bless you.
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INTRODUCTION
“Honour thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the LORD thy God giveth thee.(Exodus 20:12)
There is a lot said, today, about black fathers not being responsible and staying with their children and taking care of their families. Well, this book is about honoring and paying tribute to those black fathers who, against the odds, have chosen to do the responsible thing and stay in the lives of their children. My father was one of those men.
This little book is a simple expression of appreciation and love for a good and loving father by the name of Daniel White Jr. Although he was not a perfect man, he made the decision to stay with his family no matter what and by doing so, he gave me the great benefits of his presence in my life, and of not making me a child of divorce. It is my hope that this statement does not offend those who grew up not knowing their natural father or not having the benefit of having him in the home. Even though I had a few holes in my soul that needed to be filled while growing up, thankfully, the painful hole that could have been caused by divorce was filled by a loving dad who did the responsible and right thing and who, quite frankly, put up with a lot of disrespect and foolishness to stay with his family.
I am also writing this book for the following three reasons:
1. To give God glory, praise, and honor for providing earthly dads for us and for being the ultimate Father.
2. To show honor and pay tribute to all the black fathers, both past and present, who stayed with their families and trained up their children in the way they should go. The black community is as strong as it is because of them.
3. To honor and pay tribute to the millions of good black mothers, such as my favorite aunt, Rebekah Credle of James City, North Carolina, who, by God's grace, after being divorced from an abusive husband, single-handedly successfully raised five boys, who all graduated from college. My hat is off to the millions of black mothers who, down through the years, had to be the "mother and the father" to their children.
Ultimately, the aim of this book is to turn the hearts of all fathers--black, white, red, and yellow--to their children, and to encourage fathers to stay with the children they have and raise them for the glory of God.
—Daniel Whyte III, Dallas, TX
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A Tribute to My Father's Life
CHAPTER 1
I decided not to make this book a biography of my father's life. I just want to give honor to my father for staying with his family and raising his four children. In this chapter, I will share with you some of the times that my dad and I spent together while growing up. But, let me first introduce you to my father.
My dad, Daniel White, Jr., was born in North Carolina in 1934. From what I understand, there was a difference of opinion about his birth date between my mother and my grandmother. But, my dad apparently leaned more to what my grandmother said his birth date was934. His early years were shaped during a pivotal time in history. The year he was born, Hitler became the leader of Nazi Germany. In 1939, World War II began, and it didn't end until 1945, when my dad was eleven years old.
During this time, the Jim Crow laws were still in place in the South. My grandparents protected him from the harsh realities of racism as best they could. My father was barely a grown man when the Civil Rights Movement got into full swing. He grew up during these changing times and, not surprisingly, he was affected by them. My father was barely thirty years old when John F. Kennedy was assassinated in 1963. He was in his early thirties when, in 1968, Martin Luther King, Jr. was shot in Tennessee and Robert F. Kennedy was killed two months later.
In this book, you will see that my father was characterized by a spirit of love and compassion for all people. He was optimistic about his own life and when his children came along, he was excited about the possibilities that lay before us. I believe that the events that shaped our world, and our country, during this time also helped to shape him into the man he was.
I was born in 1960 and I have some good memories of my dad, while growing up in Brooklyn, New York. I especially remember the fun times we had when he would take me with him to his jobs--especially to the mink fur coat company. I could sense how proud he was of me as his son as he introduced me to the Jewish owners. He would, every now and then, bring home pieces of mink fur for us children to play with. I also remember the times, as a little boy, sitting on my daddy's lap while he smoked his Kools cigarettes and let me sip on his Colt 45.
I also remember the times he took me with him to his baseball practices. Back then, he was a semi-pro baseball player. I recall him hitting the ball and letting me run the bases for him. All of his teammates got a big kick out of that. Even though he was around his buddies, I did not feel left out; he made me feel like a part of them.
To this day, I still love my mother's cooking, and I wished that she was home more while growing up to do the cooking, but, to be honest, due to the fact that both my parents worked long hours, it was nothing for my dad to get in there and try to do something in the kitchen to feed his children. Now, my dad really thought he could cook. But, I, for one, endured his cooking because I knew it was going to be the same thing every time, regardless of the time of day. And what he cooked was something he called "cracklin pancakes." Now, "cracklin pancakes,which I have never heard of before or since, is basically some type of hard pork fatback which he would throw into the pancake mix and he would always serve it with some cheap, white, clear Karo syrup. Sometimes, he would fry some bologna to go with it, or something like that, but that was basically it. I ate it, but I wasn't too crazy about it. However, that was his way of loving his children and making sure his children ate, even though he was working two or three jobs.
As I look back on these times with my dad, they are funny now. Of course, when we were going through them, they didn't seem so funny. But, I can see the bigger picture now in that my dad really loved his children and he did the best he could with the background and knowledge he had to be the best father he could be.
However, not all memories of my father are warm, funny ones. I remember once I was asleep in my bedroom when I was awakened to screaming and arguing. With my new cowboy pajamas on and my little teddy bear in my hand, I got up and walked toward the noise, not knowing what to expect, and certainly not expecting what I saw. As I turned the corner, I saw my dad push my mother's head into the bathroom mirror and blood gushed out. At that time, I could not have been more than four or five years old. I did not know what was going on. All I knew was that I did not like what I saw. My parents separated for a while after that incident, and it was a very strange time not having my dad around.
By the grace of God, my parents got back together some time later, and I was very happy to have my father back in my life. Even though my parents didn't get along as well as they should have, my dad did not allow this to interfere with his love for his children. He enjoyed playing with us, taking us with him, and, of course, buying us snacks.
When I was about ten or eleven, I noticed a dramatic change in my dad's life. My dad truly became a born again Christian. This was not just a joining the church thing; it was not just a reformation. It was a transformation. This was the real deal and everything about my dad changed from that time in his life. He exemplified the love of Christ to everybody he met. Soon, God called him to preach the Gospel and his gift of singing started to shine through. He did that for the glory of God for the rest of his life.
But, strangely, while he was making a positive change, I became more rebellious as a teenager and took a turn for the worse, and we started having serious problems in our relationship. One of the reasons we started having problems is because he became a popular preacher and Gospel singer in the area, and he also had a gospel television show which made things worse for me at school because I bore his name and everybody around town knew me as Rev. Daniel White Jr's son. That image made it difficult for me to be cool in school, and thus I had to work double to fit in with the in-crowd and not be seen as a square. You know what they say about preacher's kids.
Anyway, after I left home, I eventually became a Christian myself. My father and I soon developed a good father-son bond and relationship, which was a blessing. I cherish the times we spent together after that, even though they were few and far between. It was amazing how our lives mirrored each other in certain ways. I loved my dad very much and he loved me. After my father died and went on home to be with the Lord, I never shed one tear over his death because I had already made peace with him and I was very confident then and I am very confident now that I will see him again on the other side.
Even though we did not have a "Brady Bunch" family situation, and even though my dad and I had some problems in our relationship during my teenage years, I praise the Lord for the life of my dad and I thank God he stayed.
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A Tribute to My Father's Love
CHAPTER 2
“Charity never faileth: but whether there be prophecies, they shall fail; whether there be tongues, they shall cease; whether there be knowledge, it shall vanish away. Corinthians 13:8
“Love is what it is.--Daniel White Jr.
I can truly say that my dad was a loving man, and I believe that is the testimony of everyone who knew him. Not only did he have a special love for his children, but he loved all people and people loved him. I doubt very seriously if my dad had an enemy in this world.
My dad was not a very emotional man, but he expressed his love for me and my siblings in so many different ways. I recall when I was about fifteen or sixteen years old and I was working to help shut down the county fair. When I did not show up at home by 1:30 AM, my dad got up out of his bed and came out to the fairgrounds to check on me and to see if I was okay. Surprisingly, he was not angry; he just told me that he was concerned, and that he could not sleep until he knew that I was alright. Even though I was trying to act cool in front of my friends, that really touched my heart.
At another time, I had gotten with a young lady, and to make a long story short, she became pregnant. She was one of the good church girls from a good family whose mother was a close friend of our family. I knew my father was very hurt over the matter, but instead of him getting on my case about it as he should have, as soon as we met up, he told me that he takes some responsibility because he felt like he had not been the father he should have been to me. Of course, I immediately and respectfully stopped him and told him that it was not his fault at all, but mine. However, that is the kind of love my father had for me and for his other children.
On another occasion, after my parents separated for a second time, right after my high school graduation, I went out on my own and started working as a restaurant trainer in other cities. When my dad found out that I was in South Carolina by myself at the age of seventeen, he would go out of his way to make special trips to see me and sometimes, he would stay with me for a while. Once, when he visited, even though he was a pretty well-known preacher in that region, and even though he did not drink beer anymore, I guess in an effort to connect with me, he bought a six-pack of my favorite beer (because he knew I drank), and at the same time, he brought me a Bible, with some verses he had selected for me to read. Now that I look back on it, it is kind of funny, but we sat there and drank some beer together and talked about the Bible and life. We had some of the best times of our relationship when he would make those trips to see me. Sometime later, after I had become a Christian, I wrote a letter to him telling him how much those trips meant to me. Afterward, he and my mother both told me that the letter I wrote, meant a great deal to him. And my dad not only showed this kind of love to me, but he showed it to my siblings as well as many other children in the community who did not have fathers. All the children in the community loved my dad and looked up to him as a father figure. He would call them "Boo-Boo", as he called us sometimes.
Yes, indeed, my dad exemplified the love of Christ to his children and to others, but to a certain extent, he sometimes loved us, including my dear mother, too much. And he has admitted to this. You may ask how can he love too much? What I mean by that is my dear dad was probably never taught and never really understood that love meant sometimes saying "no" as well as sometimes saying "yes." Love, sometimes means, quite frankly, tearing a disobedient child's "ass" up when he is out of line. Love also means standing flat-footed and saying to your bossy wife, "Be quiet, I'll handle this. I am sure my dad did this sometimes, but the truth is, he didn't do it enough. As a result, bad things happened in our family that could have been prevented. For example, all four of his children practiced pre-marital sex and either got someone pregnant or got pregnant, thus bringing shame upon his ministry and upon his family. One of the biggest mistakes that my father made because of his big heart of love and his wanting everyone to be happy, is that he never took full reins of the leadership of our family. Quite frankly, my mother ran the show from the time that I can remember until my father's death and both of them have admitted as much. Consequently, when things are out of order like that, you get bad results.
Fathers, please stay with your family and show love to your family because they need you and your love. But, remember, to show the full spectrum of love. The Bible says that God, our Heavenly Father, "Is love,and He will pat you on the back when you do well, but He will also slap you on the behind when you do evil. The Bible says in Hebrews 12:6, "For whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth, and scourgeth every son whom he receiveth.Earthly fathers need to do the same. In fact, the Bible says in Proverbs 13:24, "He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes.
Dr. James Dobson once wrote a book titled, Love Must Be Tough. Fathers, in taking care of your responsibilities in your family, yes, have fun with your family and have many lite times together. There is nothing like those times on earth. In fact, it is a little bit of heaven on earth. But sometimes, as a father, your love must be tough.
1 Corinthians 13
Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, and have not charity, I am become as sounding brass, or a tinkling cymbal.
And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries, and all knowledge; and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, and have not charity, I am nothing.
And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, and have not charity, it profiteth me nothing.
Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up,
Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil;
Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth;
Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.
Charity never faileth: but whether there be prophecies, they shall fail; whether there be tongues, they shall cease; whether there be knowledge, it shall vanish away.
For we know in part, and we prophesy in part. But when that which is perfect is come, then that which is in part shall be done away.
When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things.
For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known.
And now abideth faith, hope, charity, these three; but the greatest of these is charity.
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A Tribute to My Father's Legacy
CHAPTER 3
My dad's legacy is four-fold:
1. A legacy of true salvation and a changed life.
2. The uncanny ability to rise above average people and do extraordinary things without losing the common, down-home touch.
3. The contentment gene.
4. The knowledge of how to be a great father.
A Legacy of True Salvation and a Changed Life
I jokingly say sometimes, that outside of myself, I know of only one person in my family who truly got born again, and that person is my dad, Daniel White, Jr. I say that because when he accepted Jesus Christ as his Saviour his life changed dramatically. The Kools cigarettes that I mentioned earlier were gone, never to be seen again. Even though he drank a lite wine product every now and then, in moderation, the hard liquor days were never seen again. But the biggest proof of his true conversion to Christ was the fact that he showed genuine love to all people. It didn't matter who you were. My dad was not a respector of persons. He was incapable of treating a dignitary differently than he would treat a derelict. When he would drive, ever so slowly down the street, everyone got a wave, a honk of the horn, or a loud "alright now."
As you will see in the interview that I conducted across the kitchen table in his home, sometime before he died, my dad didn't attend his father's funeral, and interestingly, I didn't attend my father's funeral either. Neither have I ever shed a tear over my dad's death, because I knew that my dad was truly born again, and I have felt closer to him since his death than while he was living. I know for a fact that I will see him, face to face again, not too many days from now.
The Uncanny Ability to Rise Above Average People and Do Extraordinary Things Without Losing the Common, Down-Home Touch
“If you look behind you and nobody is following you, then you are not a leader. --John Maxwell
My dad was a natural born leader, but, if you had met him, you would have never known he was a leader for these three reasons:
1. He never tried to be a leader.
2. He never pushed himself forward.
3. He never acted as though he was any different than the people who followed him.
Yet, when my father arrived on the scene, people looked to him as a leader, and people followed him because they knew he loved them with a genuine heart.
Before having Gospel shows on television was popular, particularly for black folk, my dad was on television every Sunday for years. Yet, when you saw him on the street, he was dressed in regular clothes, because he was also a janitor at the television station where his show was aired. And, unlike the preachers of today, he did not feel as though he had to drive a Cadillac or Lincoln to be somebody. He probably felt as though it would cause him to lose the common touch. This leads me to my next point.
The Contentment Gene
The third part of the legacy my dad left behind from his life is what I humorously oftentimes share with my wife and children, is something I call "the cheap gene." I am dubbing it here, for the book's sake, "the contentment gene,because my dad was not a cheap person, but what I am talking about here is my dad's penchant for and pleasure in those things that were not name brand and those things that were simple and/or old. He may have done some of this out of necessity, but I firmly believe that my dad got a secret thrill out of bringing home off brand sodas that just said "Cola" on the label. This is intriguing to me for two reasons: (1) my mother is the total opposite in that she loved the finer things of life and (2) the second reason is because this is one of the few things I have naturally taken after my dad. Thankfully, I can buy Charmin toilet paper for my family of nine if I wanted to, but like my dad, I get a secret thrill out of buying six rolls of toilet paper for $1.00 at Dollar General. I cannot explain why, but I enjoy getting things on the cheap like that. I guess I get the feeling I am getting over or something.
The Knowledge of How to Be a Great Father
Many people do not realize this, but God gives us parents so that we can learn from them in two ways--positively and negatively. The plan is, by doing so, a child can become a better person and a better parent, (because no parent is perfect) and thus raise up a better generation.
Even though I may not be great in every area of my life, my wife and children will tell you that I am a great father. I thank the Lord for that, but I owe my dad some credit as well. The reason is because I have learned from his life in a positive way and I have also learned from his life in a negative way. This is why it is important for a father to stay, even if he feels as though he is not being the best father he can be.
Positively: Like my dad, I really love my children. Not only did I learn this from my dad by his example, but this is also one of the few things that I naturally take after my father. I have a God-given love for my children, and because of that I have a great rapport with my children and always have since their birth. Of course, this is a gift from God.
Negatively: Unlike my dad, I learned negatively that love is to be expressed fully and balanced. In other words, love is to be expressed by a pat on the back when a child does well and a slap on the behind when a child does wrong.
As I briefly mentioned earlier, one of the mistakes my dad made was that he ?oved us too much. He simply did not understand that love is expressed in many different ways. Because of this lack of understanding or maybe choosing not to accept this truth, he and my mother had constant marital problems because he would never rebuke her disrespect of him. I remember him saying to me on more than one occasion, "Danny, I do not want to say anything because I want to keep the peace. Well, I negatively learned from that that if a man can't say what he needs to say in his own house to have true peace, then he nor his family will have peace at all. Therefore, I practice the principle that, if there is not going to be any peace in the house because I have to say some things my wife or my teenagers do not like--let there be no peace. Fathers, you don't have real peace anyway, if you can't speak your piece. I have never subscribed to the idea that "If Mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy. In my house, I know that if we don't all do what we are supposed to do the Bible way, ain't nobody going to be happy. King David said in Psalm 120:7: C am for peace, but when I speak, they are for war."I
Yes, we need to lovingly encourage our children with a pat on the back, and I do that all of the time, but we also need to lovingly give them a smack on the behind when they are disobedient. What has happened in our society, and particularly in the black community, is that black men have abdicated their role as disciplinarians of their children and have left it to the mothers. I am here to tell you that most mothers cannot chastise a boy like a man can. I must say here, as a credit to my mother and to so many other women, who knew the importance of chastisement, that they did the job that oftentimes the father should have done, of being the disciplinarian, and using corporal punishment to chastise the children.
Frankly, I cannot remember my dad cracking down on me other than one time when I was in the bathroom getting myself hooked up to go out to the club, and I was talking back to my dad about something we disagreed on regarding the use of one of the cars or something like that, and before I knew it, he broke down a locked bathroom door to get to me. And even then, he didn't hit me, but he sure did scare the hell out of me. Other than that, I do not remember my dad whipping me or cracking down on me like my mother did. I am one of the millions who say: I wish my dad had given me more whippings. The truth is, I needed them. And folks, you know and I know that one of the reasons our children are acting as crazy as they are acting today, is because the father is not showing the full spectrum of love.
My father was not a perfect man, and he made some mistakes, but his legacy endures in the way he strived to live a good life, in the way he led and loved people, in what I learned from him about being content with the simple things of life, and in what I learned from him about how to be a great father.
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A Tribute to a Black Father Who Stayed
by Daniella Whyte
My dad was loving, gentle and kind
to my siblings and me.
In fact, he was kind to almost everyone
he would see.
He didn't care for pomp or the expensive things
He liked to get almost everything on the cheap.
My mother was the one who wanted all the bling
But for my dad, fancy cars and such you could keep.
But one day, he met Jesus
and his entire life turned around.
By his drinking, smoking, and other sins
he was no longer bound.
At that point, he cared more about people
an encouraging word he would send.
To the church, Christ's work and service
this humble servant did lend.
Of course, he was not perfect
mistakes and failures he made.
But when he got to the end of his life
His joy and happiness did not fade.
His life, his love, his legacy he laid.
This is a tribute to a black father who stayed.
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Interview with My Father, Daniel White Jr.
CHAPTER 5
Special Note: This is an informal interview that I did with my dad sometime before he died. I had never heard of anyone doing an interview with their father before. All I knew was that I was traveling in ministry a lot, and I had a family of my own at the time, and I knew when I interviewed him that that would probably be my last time seeing him alive. This interview was recorded by cassette tape, transcribed from the cassette tape and is virtually unedited. This interview was actually conducted at my dad and mom's house in Apalachicola, Florida. You will actually read the words of my dad about his life.
Obviously, this interview is very significant to me personally. The significance of this interview for you, the reader, is that you are reading about a man's life whose father was born close to the time of slavery and certainly during the infamous Jim Crow period of our history here in America. Also, in this interview, you are witnessing three generations spanned--Daniel White Sr., Daniel White Jr., and Daniel White III. The picture that you see on the cover at the top represents three generations of Daniel Whites--my father, Daniel White Jr.; myself, Daniel White III; and my son, Daniel White IV. This picture was taken at our hotel room during my graduation from Bethany Divinity College and Seminary. This was a special occasion for my dad because he only had an eighth grade education and he was happy to see his son, who bore his name, break through the cycle and graduate, summa cum laude, with a Bachelor's degree in Theology.
If you and your dad are getting on up in age, I would encourage you to sit down and interview him so that you can pass it on to your children as well.
Here is the interview with my dad in his own words:
1. How old was grandpa (Daniel White Sr.) when he died?
I think he must have been close to 40. He must have been close to 40 years old because it seems as though he was 38 when I was born in 1934. My birth certificate states how old my father was and how old my mother was. He was somewhat older than my mother. I would imagine my daddy might have lived to reach maybe 42 before he died. So I am figuring my daddy, if he lived, might have been 90-92 years old. Because my mother she's like 86. I know he was at least 5 years older. In fact, my father could be just as old over my mother as I am over your mother. I believe it's almost 6 years; almost 7 years that I think that I am older than your mother...just like I am over...I don't know. It's a pattern. I don't know. It just seems like a pattern of some kind. My father, he w at a mill. You
know it was hard work.
2. Was that the mill across the river in James City, North Carolina?
Nearby where he worked. You know. Naturally, he would stop by just like I would stop by Toby if Toby lived near. He would stop by some evenings and then like it was in the old days there was always a place people could go by a certain house and relax. You know they probably wouldn't call it relax. But it was a place of refreshment that they go by and give them a little nip, and say, "I'm tired." I deserve this,and things like that. So I believe my daddy spent much time doing that.
You know I didn't know nothing about him being a ladies' man or anything like that. But those things he did. In other words, I didn't see him that way. There were many of us. By the time my father died, there were eight other children born. I was the seventh at that time. Seven or eight children at least because... Let me see: Dollie, Rebekah was also born. So I understood that I had lost a brother in the early years and he would have been named after one of your great-grandfathers or your great-great-grandfather.
You see your great-great-grandfather's name was Briss, Briss White. That was your grand-daddy's father.
3. Briss White?
I think it's B-R-I-S-S or Bristol, B-R-I-S-T-O-L. But they call him Briss. That was your grand-daddy's father. And you know, while I'm there, your Uncle Toby has the oldest child named after your great-grandfather. He is the only one that has a son named Briss--after your grandfather's father. That's the only one that carry that name.
My father, like I said, he spent time, you know, like away from home like a lot of men back then; having not been taught; not that far away from slavery time. You know. Who was to teach him? You understand? And a lot of times men neglected their families. They didn't make much. They worked hard and they did whatever they could to find a little pleasure.
I don't remember my daddy putting me on his knee. But it seemed like to me that one time, one Christmas, while my father was living (I'm not even sure of this), it seemed like I got for that Christmas like a pair of blue overalls. Also maybe sort of a wooden toy or something like that which I deeply appreciated because this is the first time that I ever realized I received a toy of that nature. And kids didn't get no toy like that, you know, like they do today. My God! that one toy was like a miracle. You know that? I'm serious. It was like a miracle. And I can remember that.
Another thing--I think one of the much deeper memories that I have, is that my father when he took sick, I was like a knee-baby. They called me a knee-baby or something like that. I don't know what that has to do with anything. I didn't understand it. But I know I remember I had two other sisters--Rebekah and Dollie. But it seemed like I used to be around my daddy's sickness in the old house where my father...where we lived...two-story house. And...
4. That's the house that used to be out front on Scott Street in James City, North Carolina, right?
Right out front. And you came to it when you was a child along with your Uncle James and I, and the house was still there--before the new house was built. And I remember that my father lived...his bedroom...his bedroom... They stayed upstairs in the house and grandfather lived downstairs. He stayed upstairs in a front bedroom and Mama used to iron and everything up there. While he was sick, I used to be around quite a bit. But I don't know if at that time he was well enough to do any talking to me or anything like that. But I do believe I used to be in that room playing on the floor or something like that. You know, I think I was big enough, but I don't think I would get away from home too far at that time when my father was sick. It seemed as though when he passed...when he passed...I believe it was 1942. The first few months of 1942 it seemed like to me. I didn't go to the funeral. I don't think they would let me go to the funeral. I don't know whether it had affected me or not.
5. You were named after him?
Yeah. I was not the first boy, but I was the one named after my daddy. I don't believe he had a middle name. I think his name was Daniel White and I was Daniel White, Jr. And I am told I look much like him. When you see me, you see my father. Sort of what Jesus said, isn't it? If you seen me, you seen the Father.
6. Yes, well, that's interesting because you really don't look that much like Mother Tempie. So it has to come from the other side.
I'm told that my sister Nancy, who's passed on, and my sister Hattie and I are the ones that look more like my daddy. My daddy was on the darker side; more like my complexion. You know like I said that time, I can vaguely remember that. I don't remember much activities because like I said he took sick and to me it's in the early years. And as I said, they did not let me go to the funeral for some reason or another.
I was young. I remember I stayed and I looked out of the window across to Mt. Shiloh Missionary Baptist Church. And you know, you can see it from any window outside. And that was long ago0 years ago. And I know I felt something. I didn't understand. But I know I felt something. It was my first encounter with death. You know, I didn't understand it. And at the time, I supposed I missed him to whatever degree it could have been. But it was those two ladies...I think my grandfather could have still been living. I think he died a little later. But he also took sick. I didn't want to get to that yet. But he also took sick from an accident or something like that. My father, I never really got to know him like some kids do, unfortunately. It's the kind of relationship I think you could miss. I'm sure that I missed it and realized it. God is just as good to me. He let me realize the impact of it because that was somebody to love me and to nourish me.
7. But, Daddy, you have a tremendous relationship with your mother even though she had several children. How was it growing up after that, after your daddy passed? And what do you remember during those days?
My mother began to work; day work they called it at that time. It's maid work. She began...I don't know the first people she worked for. But I know [it was] thirty something odd years ago. I can remember at least thirty years ago she began to work for a family by the name of Capers. She might have worked for their parents at that time. So...better than thirty years ago, more like forty years ago 'cause I worked for the same Capers more than forty years ago. I believe I was just twelve. So you see, that's got to be more than forty years ago. More like forty-five years ago.
My mother, she worked in those people's houses and took care of us along with the help of my grandmother. And my mother, you know...it was a small income, but we were able to survive. It's amazing. I tell you, it's amazing to think you never went hungry even though it wasn't a lot of money. But my mother worked out...she worked out at the homes there until I believe the Lord opened up a door for her to go somewhere, where she could make more money. And as she went away to work and make money, Mama Lou, Grandma Lou, we called her Mama Lou, she took care of us. She was the mother and father for us while my mother worked out.
8. O.K. I remember the name Mama Lou...
Well, you were about three years old before she died. You had seen her "Mama Lou ,when you came home first as a child. That time Mama Lou was not doing too well. She was about 81 when you first saw her.
9. Was she Mother's natural mother?
No. Same thing. She married my mother's father. Now what happened...
10. Oh, O.K.
That's what happened. You see, it seems as though she was a stepmother to my mother. And I don't know for sure, but it seemed as though Mama Lou was married in the family. And it seems like she married my mother's father because he was a widow, too. At least she was a widow and she married him. That made her become my mother's stepmother. But so far as a maternal grandmother, blood-wise she couldn't have been better. Even today, Ms. Anne Gaddis who is a historian in the James City area tells you Mama Lou couldn't have been any better if she had birthed us in the world because that's the way she took care of us while my mother worked out and worked in different places such as Miami. Mama was down in Miami before Miami was built up and as corrupt as it is today, you know. And the money was better, you know. She was able to do more for us than she would if she stayed right home.
11. So when you say "worked out" that means that...
Worked out from the house.