Tales from the Strange Mind of Me
Short Stories and Essays
W. M. Stahl
Copyright 2011 by: W. M. Stahl
Smashwords Edition
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Authors Note, Introduction, Prelude; whatever you wish to call this:
This is simply a collection of short stories, essays and a few poems that I have written over the years and in various places around the United States. I offer it up to you the reader, so that it may give you a little escape from your day, week or hour. I by no means offer them up so that someone somewhere can tear them apart and analyze them or my intent in writing them. Yet perhaps someday someone will and for those I say … don’t. Spare yourself the trouble, as there is no underlying purpose or reason to how I have written the characters one way or another except for the simple reason that it is the way it worked out. While the essays are merely musings of life and from childhood they too are meant only to entertain. While there may or may not be any truth in them it is not for anyone to wonder. I know the parts that may or may not be truth I do not need you or anyone else to speculate on it. They are just as they are, nothing more and nothing less. That being said I hope that you enjoy them. I know that I enjoy putting them here and sharing them with you.
A Walk in the Park
The sun braved its way between the buildings as it rose and struck the green trees and grass of the park. Morning slipping by as the couple lay out on the blanket in what they hoped would be a semi-shaded spot all day. She held his hand as she sat between his legs with her back against his chest. Her mind was a whirl of thoughts as to why he had brought her there. None of them seemed to add up, although there was always the chance; no that was too painful to even contemplate.
Instead she forced herself to think only of how their life had been up to that point. It wasn’t so bad really even though there were so many things that they had never gotten around to doing. Life just seemed to be passing by them one year at a time since they had been married. His life was full of work; her life was full of him, even that morning had begun just as it had every morning before.
Waking up an hour before sunrise as he had every day since leaving college he would shower and leave their home quickly, but on this day he went to her bedside and sat staring at his wife as she slept. Trying to remember what had happened to the young beautiful wife that he remembered. She looked so different as if she wasn’t the same person anymore. He was sure that he had not divorced the woman he had fallen in love with just out of high school, he swore that he would have remembered that part, had that happened. No, he was sure this was the same woman he’d fallen in love with. It had been a couple of years since the two of them shared the same bed, he had forgotten why they split rooms, they just had one day and neither seemed mind.
He had not had an affair and he believed that she had not either. Their lives just seemed to have gotten the better of them or maybe it was just his. He had taken her with him when he went off to college and while she made their tiny third floor walkup home, he pursued his life goal. He took a part time job nights and weekends to help with their way of life. She offered to work in those early days, but he had always told her that he wouldn’t hear of it. Even though they weren’t married yet, he had felt that if she worked her family would have looked at him as a failure. While his father paid his tuition, he had refused to pay for an apartment off campus. For this, his Grandfather offered to help but he wanted to make a life for them on his own. He found a job at a restaurant washing dishes after classes, and waiting tables on the weekends. It was about this time that he unknowingly began his work ethic of never being home. As his college career excelled so did his career at the restaurant, by his second year he was offered a manager’s position that he was tempted to take, but turned it down. He justified it by telling the owners that he would of more use to them if he finished his studies. By the end of his second year, he had doubled up his courses so that he could graduate early hoping that he could take his fourth year off and spend it with her.
He graduated high in his class, and with his background, the restaurant he worked for hired him to open and operate new venues. He helped the restaurant grow from one to five in as many years, and slated them for another ten, over the next five years, before leaving and going to work at his family’s company. His Great Grandfather had started it shortly after coming to this country. The company was more than just one thing. They had their hands in many businesses, real estate, construction, property management, and a few others. It was enough so that for the next few years she barely saw him.
They married right after he finished college and decided that they would wait until he was settled in his job before bringing another life into the world. When he moved to the family business, she felt that they were settled enough and for a year, they tried to have a child without any luck. The next year she decided she needed something to do. She turned to her love of art. She had been playing at it since high school but had never taken it serious. She devoted every waking moment to developing herself as an artist, what little free time he had they spent doing something else like going to the opera spending time with his parents or hers, there were movies, dinners but little if any passion that the two had once felt for each other. It was not appropriate behavior for one to show your feelings in front of others when they were growing up , their parents never showed love of the other nor to their children and it was because of this that they showed little if any love for each other.
It had been over twenty years since they had first fallen in love and today marked it exactly. Over the years he had changed, he was now the head of the family business and while she had yet to have a showing of her work, she did fill their house and the houses of those around them with paintings and sculptures. She never saw it as a failure she was happy doing just what she was doing. She was her husbands’ wife and that was good enough for her mother and so it was good enough for her or so she thought.
That morning as he sat looking at his wife he realized just how much he had missed. Bending down and kissing her, he awakened the light sleeping woman. Her eyes wide as his lips still pressed against her forehead, she gave no resistance but did wonder just what had gotten into her husband. Lifting her from the bed he carried her to the bathroom where the two showered together, passions rising between them but just short of them making love as she reminded him that he was going to be late. He was disappointed but not wanting to hurt his wife, he left her to dress for work. She met him by the door, as she did every morning that they had been together, to give him a good-bye kiss. This day though was different there was more in the kiss than either had expected. He left the four story brown stone with his mind somewhere else. They lived minutes from the family business and he had walked to the high rise nearly every day. It was something in the air he decided, that made him turn around and go back home.
He slipped back into the house while his wife was on the phone to one of their friends, not that they had many or had a lot of time for them. He grabbed an old blanket from the cedar chest in the second floor hallway, dropping his tie and jacket on the lid as he made his way to the kitchen. Taking the phone away, he grabbed her and lifted her over his shoulder, with the blanket in one hand and her over his shoulder he walked out of the house and headed across the street, around the corner, and to the park. She offered little resistance and only complained because she was dressed in an old pair of shorts and a holey sweatshirt. When they found their spot, they spread out the blanket and sat down. Using his cell phone, he called his office and then the corner deli to order some breakfast and left a timed order for lunch. The blanket was up under a tree; he sat first and made her sit between his legs, a way that they had used to sit many times when they were first together. He leaned back against the tree and pulled her with him.
Her mind raced to find a reason as to what had gotten into him. Had he been unfaithful to her after all these years, was he sick and afraid to tell her what was wrong with him, maybe it was the business. He never took off during the week, who was she kidding, he never took any time off except weekends and that was only because she had once begged him to spend some time with her. He was quick to give her the time she wanted with her. It had never been a question of not wanting to it was merely taking the time. Why was he doing this, what could he be thinking, no matter what she thought, none of it made any sense in her mind. He was showing her more attention this one morning than he had in the last five or six years. It was not that he didn’t love her, as she would always tell herself surely if he didn’t she would be able to tell. There were times when she wasn’t so sure that she loved him, but they were brief and before she knew it she would feel that old movement in her chest again and all would be well in her world. It was at that moment of her thoughts when suddenly nothing she was thinking mattered to her any more. None of the thoughts about what could be wrong or even what would or could happen next only the moment mattered now. There and then was all there was in the world to her no one or thing could take its place.
They sat silently eating the breakfast they ordered, feeding each other little bites of the others food. There was nothing special or unusual about that, it was one of the things that seemed to never change over the years. He would give her bites of his food so that she would try it; she would give him bites of hers to make sure that he would eat. It was, one could suppose, their typical time together only some of the laughter had disappeared over time.
Even today was little different as each seemed to have other things on their mind and were lost in their own worlds. At least that was their normal way; the only difference was that today they were both in the same place. It was just that one didn’t know the other was there too. His cell phone kept ringing and every other time he would answer briefly spouting off an order before hanging up. He would be lost for a second longer, but then he would wrap his hands over his wife’s shoulders and he would be back.
It reminded her a little of the night they had gotten married, when they had walked from the church to the reception party. Just outside the hall, they had found a small bench, where they sat and held each other for nearly an hour before going inside. It just may have been the last time the two had sat quietly without discussing or worrying about something. Not that the two talked that much anyway it always seemed an unnecessary action between them. Their life was planned long before they moved in together while he attended college. Their mothers settled everything for them, when they’d be married where they had the wedding, what they would wear, how many people and who would be invited, where the couple would live once they were married, the honeymoon they didn’t take, everything planned nothing was left to chance. The only thing that didn’t meet their planning was the child; try as they did the mothers conspiracy left out the Mother Nature theory. The mothers planned to have at least three grandchildren by this time.
By lunchtime, the couple was still under the tree, her head back against his shoulder his arms wrapped around her midsection. She, well they, were falling in love all over again, although neither saw it in the other. The deli delivered their lunch to them at the park. While it wasn‘t the first time they had delivered to the park for one of their customers it was the first time that they had done so for two meals in the same day. The delivery girl had been to the couples’ home often, the wife would order lunch and sometimes dinner from her families’ deli. It was the first time she had ever seen the woman with a man. She had often wondered what had happened to her husband. While she had always worn a wedding ring, the girl had never heard her talk of her husband. She had asked her father about it several times but he had always told her that their customers business was their own and not hers. As the girl watched the two open their meal she decided that the man with her had to be her husband, because there was no way that a couple could look at each other the way that they were and not be married.
The two ate lunch as they always did in silence. He was just happy that he had tossed everything out the window to spend the day under the tree. She was just happy sitting between his legs, her mind finally emptied except for the thought of her next painting two lovers sitting under a tree on a blanket. It didn’t matter that the world was passing them by. It didn’t matter that at that moment he was missing a meeting on a five million dollar deal or that he was supposed to be signing a deal that would add the Restaurants that he had managed after college, now fifty strong and still growing under the plan that he himself had begun before leaving, to the run his family companies. He told himself that the restaurants would still be there on Monday, the five million dollar deal he was working on wasn‘t going to go anywhere over the weekend either.
Late in the afternoon, he pushed her away and stood straightening his pants and shirt. She looked up at him with a disappointed look on her face, but changed it quickly as she didn’t want him to see it. She loved him and there was no need for him to think that she was unhappy about anything that day. Actually she was a more than a little afraid that she might lose him, so many of their friends were on their second, third and in a case or two forth marriage. She knew she didn’t want that to happen. It wasn’t like he never showed her any affection; after all they did still make love once in a while. They just didn’t sleep in the same bed, she would go to his bed sometimes, but mostly he would come to her after coming home very late from work and then go to bed in his room. After several minutes of letting the blood run back into his toes, he finally bent down to take her hand and helped her to her feet. They cleaned their area and carried the remnants of their meals to a nearby trashcan. Finally, she grabbed the blanket and he grabbed her hand. The couple walked slowly around the edge of the small wooded area where they had been sitting. Part of her wanted to push him into the trees and then into the middle of a group of bushes and make love to her husband as if they were teenagers again.
He of course had other ideas as he turned away from the park and walked hand in hand, past the deli that had brought them their breakfast and lunch, each waving to the puzzled proprietor as they passed. The deli owner had seen them on many occasions but it had been some time since he had seen them together and never once were they ever touching each other. As they walked down their street, they passed more than one of their neighbors out walking their dogs or just out running errands. None of those that saw the couple that morning could say that they had ever seen the two holding hands. The neighbors were more than a little surprised to see the couple walking down the street let alone hand in hand. However, that was nothing compared to the shock of their friends, when he stopped her in front of their home and pulled her into his arms kissing her deeply on the lips. Especially since the house across the street was owned by an older couple that had known them from his college days. Releasing her she pulled away purely out of shock and surprise and not from hurt, still he nearly misread the look in her eye. She laughed as he lifted her in his arms and carried her up the steps of the four-story brownstone house that they called home. When he reached the door she giggled as if she were sixteen again, and not thirty-eight, reaching out, as the giggling infected him too, she turned the key in the door and let them in.
Once in the door he continued to carry her up the steps of their home to the roof where she had turned a section of it into an outdoor studio where she could paint and enjoy the sun. When they reached the roof, they were greeted with another blanket spread out on and covered with large fluffy pillows. To one side of that was a small low table covered with cheese, strawberries, a couple bottles of wine, and a bottle of champagne chilling in bucket of ice. At first she couldn’t think of any time when he could have planned it that day, and her mind started to think again of reasons he was showing her so much attention, but then realized that he had to have planned this when she had gone to the restroom while they were in the park. She was surprised again, but she couldn’t help herself from thinking that something was up, something had to be wrong, things like this just didn’t come from her husband. He bent down and lay her in and among the pillows. Touching her lips with a finger, he stopped her from asking the question that he could see was on her mind.
He lay beside her facing west as the sun marched on towards the horizon. Holding her hand, he began to feed her some of the cheese and giving her sips of wine. A few hours later as the suns leading edge hit its destination he opened the champagne and poured them each a glass. Finally, after not exchanging a word all day he turned and began to speak to her.
“Do you think we can take our honeymoon now?” he asked.
Her eyes lit up and a smile shot across her face, as she searched for the words.
“Yes” was all she could seem to say to him.
“And do you think we can try to have children again?”
“Yes,” she replied again half-breathless, it was as if her prayers were answered.
“Do you think that after all we have been through you can stay in love with me for another twenty years?”
Then it hit her, after spending the day worrying and wondering what was wrong, that there was nothing wrong, nothing at all, except maybe nostalgia.
“Twenty two years today wasn’t it?” She returned pulling him closer as she remembered everything as if it had been just the day before.
“Yes,” he replied, “It was twenty two years ago today that you tripped in the library and fell down the stairs.”
“You were the only one that helped me,” she added smiling as she remembered. “I fell in love with you the moment you looked in my eyes.”
“That was a week later I think. I know I was too shy to say hello.”
“I never said thank you.”
“Yes you did,” he said as if it were yesterday. “You said it after our third date. I asked you why you were thanking me and you said for helping you pick up your books in the library.”
“It seems I have always been a little late saying everything to you.”
“We both have,” he added taking her in his arms. “I just want to be sure that we can be in love again after so many years of neglect.”
“I never stopped,” she said kissing his cheek. “I have always loved you; it’ll be a walk in the park.”
“And I have loved you from that first day,” he added.
He smiled and held her as close as he could wishing that he could hold her even closer.
A walk in the park, he ran the words over in his mind and agreed.
Jamie O’Brien
The morning sun shone through the trees bringing with it the warmth of a new day. Dogs ran over the grass, some being chased by their owners others chasing something else, a cat or a squirrel and even another dog or two. Young lovers strolled along the path arm in arm. Every once in a while they would stop under some low hanging branches to steal a kiss or two before returning to the path. The pigeons trying to get at the breadcrumbs left for them as children and adults came walking or bicycling by. Impromptu baseball games were beginning all over the park it was early summer and the bean ball season was well under way. Those that could afford it were at the games. Those who could not played it in the parks. If there was no park near their house they would be in the streets playing a version of the game as best as they could. Those that had a radio or TV would be glued to it every game day. Ah, the sweet life, how could one not want to be a part of it?
Birds were signing as they flew by. Leaves rusted with each breeze, yet some in this world care not what goes on about them. It is to those that are so wrapped up in getting somewhere that we spend our lives listening to, go figure.
Somewhere in the crowd the old man sat and watched as the young children played at their games. His mind wandered back through the years remembering as far into his memories as he could. To a time when he was a small boy, granted his memory was a bit fuzzy from age….
“Jamie,” a voice called “Jamie O’Brien get yerself doon oudda dat tree ‘afore ya break yer neck! Get home now it be time to eat!”
The old man’s head dropped slowly to his chest, the breeze through the trees seemed to stop but for a second….
Jamie began to slowly climb down from the tree.
“Oh all right Ma!” he said almost disgusted with the fact that he had to get down. Jamie loved to climb trees and whatever else he could. He would try to climb the side of a building if he could get a handhold.
“I told you, you shouldn’t climb that tree,” called a voice from behind him.
Jaime looked about puzzled at first. He turned around and looked into the eyes of a little girl. He didn’t know who it was at first, and then it came to him. The voice belonged to his little sister Shannon….
The old man jerked his head up, and as his eyes fluttered open, he looked around quickly. His eyes closed again as a tear formed in the corner of his right eye. His head drooped slowly back down to his chest. His eyes stayed closed as the sun dipped behind a cloud….
“Shut up you little jerk.” Jamie said in return. “You said no such thing and you know it.”
His sister stuck out her tongue, turned and ran away.
Jamie smiled to himself and began whistling as he walked slowly towards his home….
The old mans’ hands dropped from his lap to hang at his sides. The children did not seem to notice him and continued to play their games. A squirrel played hesitantly closer to the bench where the old man was sitting….
“Jamie O’Brien ya’d best be a hurryin’ along now yer suppa’ll be cold afore ya get here.”
Jamie started running but not towards home. He turned and headed down the street running as fast as he could. He didn’t really know where he was headed at first. For some reason he didn’t want to go home not just yet anyway. He knew that although his mother would be mad, if he stayed away long enough, his mother would be happier to see him and forget that she was mad at him for anything. He had done it many times in the past when his mother was mad at him for not coming home. He would stay out longer to make her miss him and worry about him.
When he reached the end of the street he turned towards his friend Billy’s house. Billy lived with his Father and Grandmother on Main Street above the grocery store. He and Billy would sneak into the storeroom in back and steal candy. One time the man that owned the store had almost caught them. Jamie didn’t know his name or anything but he was always scared of him. Especially, after they had almost gotten caught one day when they were in the storeroom. Billy and he had gotten sick that day from all the candy they had taken.
Jamie ran up the stairs and knocked on Billy’s door.
“Hey Billy,” Jamie hollered as he knocked.
A lady that he had never seen before opened the door and looked down at him.
“Is Billy here?” He asked half out of breath.
“You must be Jamie,” the lady said. “Billy told me all about you.”
“Where’s Billy,” he asked ignoring her.
He tried to crane his neck to look around her. The woman stopped him just as he was beginning to see around her by side stepping in the doorway.
“What’s your hurry Jamie?” She asked, “Did you run away from home again?”
Jamie had no idea who this woman was let alone how she knew that he had run away from home this time or even before.
“Is Billy here or not?” Jamie asked in that rude irritating little voice that we all have and children use more than we care to think about.
“No Jamie he’s not.” The lady replied in the same tone.
“Come in any way, I would like to talk to you.” She added in a softer more gentle voice.
Stepping aside she let him in through the door. Jamie didn’t recognize any of the furniture and he began to think that maybe, in his rush to see Billy he had knocked on the wrong door. The last time he had seen Billy was just before he had gone with his father on a trip to the mountains. Since it was summer and they had no school Billy would often go on trips with his father. It had been two weeks since he had seen him, and he was sure that he would be back by now. His father had never taken him longer that a few days but this time, Billy’s dad had said it would be different.
“Would you like a cookie?” the lady asked as she walked to the kitchen.
Jamie said that he would very much like a cookie and perhaps something to drink….
A ball landed in the old man’s lap. Startled he raised his head and opened his eyes. He smiled at the small girl that came to get it from him. She smiled back as she took the ball from his trembling hands. The old man looked about to see if anyone had noticed. Lowering his head again, he closed his eyes….
“Jamie,” the woman began as she set a plate of cookies and a glass of milk in front of him. “Billy told me some of things you and he used to do.”
He began to show a little fear. Not knowing who this woman was he had no idea if she was going to tell on him and Billy. He only hoped that she would not get them into any trouble.
She saw how scared he was getting and reassured him.
“Don’t worry, I won’t tell on you. It’s just that the two of you seemed to have so much fun. I thought that since Billy moved away last week that maybe you and my child could play together. You see we don’t know anyone in this town yet. So I was just hoping….”
Moved away, Billy had moved away? Jamie’s eyes began to tear a little at the news. His world was ending as far as he was concerned. All the things he and Billy had done together came rushing to his mind all at once everything running together. He closed his eyes telling himself he could never forget any of it.
Like the time they climbed up the cliff at the rock quarry and the trouble they had gotten into when the watchman caught them. When they tried to climb the school, and the church, when they had also got caught only then it was by the police. Of course he could never be able to forget all the times that he and Billy had snuck into the back of the grocery store and filled their pockets with candy.
When he opened his eyes again the woman was giving a little girl a hug. She had red hair like the woman’s only hers was curly and not straight. After they were done hugging the woman introduced the little girl as her daughter Clara.
“Umm, hi,” Jamie said looking around. “So you have a boy around here too?”
Jamie seemed disinterested in the girl. He was wondering where the boy was that she wanted him to play with. Instead the curly red headed Clara came up to him, stuck out her hand and looked right into his eyes. It was then that for the first time he began to think that girls might not be so bad after all. All he could think about as he stared back at her was how her green eyes seemed sparkled like raindrops on a window when then sun hit them. He began to hope that she liked to do the same things that he and Billy had done. Jamie couldn’t think of anything to say as she let go of his hand. Clara was left standing there smiling trying to figure out what she should say as well, as he turned back to his cookie and finished it.
“I was hoping that you’d show me around. We could maybe play or even let me watch you climb a tree I have never done that before.” She said when she finally figured out what to say. “Watch someone climb a tree before that is. I have never tried to climb one either, would you show me how?”
“Just because you’re a girl or haven’t ya ever been close enough to a tree.”
“My father would never let me even think about climbin’ a tree.”
It was a strange feeling and Jamie may have only been eleven but somehow he just knew that they would always be friends.
Clara did enjoy most of the things he and Billy had done except stealing candy. She had never wanted to crawl through the vent that they had before. Jamie didn’t understand that at first considering all the candy she always seemed to have. It wasn’t until a year later that Jamie found out that her father had bought the store. The two were nearly inseparable almost from the beginning. There wasn’t a tree or rock the two didn’t climb or at least attempt to climb. They even climbed the quarry wall and this time the watchman didn’t catch them….
The old mans’ hands dropped to the bench he sat on. Two of the children that had been playing stopped and began watching him. One of them was the little girl that had come after the ball that had in his lap. The two stood there for a long while before finally speaking.
“Do you suppose he’s dead?” She asked him.
“Nah, see he is still breathing.”
“Should we wake him up and make him go home?”
“Why? He looks like he could use the sleep.”
“What if someone comes along and robs him?”
“We’re here we can run off anyone that wants to try that, there are enough of us. We’ll keep watch over him until he wakes up and goes home.”
The girl shrugged her shoulders and went back to playing ball, while the boy sat and watched over the old man as if he was the last piece of cake at a party hoping that someone would offer it to him. The old man’s head rose up and pointed to the sky, his mouth opened, and he was still asleep. His breathing would come quicker every once in a while making the boy think that there might be something wrong with him. A bird flew over the old man circled around….
As they got older the things Jamie and Clara did seemed to get more dangerous. Clara was always trying to get him to do things that were dangerous. In their senior year in high school she talked him into climbing City Hall, five stories with little or no handholds to speak of. He had tried several times when she was not around to climb the building. But he could never get his hands into anything to even get him up off the ground. Eventually he did find a way he even got above the first floor. It was there that he ran out of things to grab onto and he fell to the ground breaking his leg in the progress. Clara helped nurse him back to health as she always did when he was sick or one of her dares had gotten him hurt. Not that he had been hurt often just a couple of times. Like the time she dared him to jump off a bridge, he’d sprained both his ankles that day. Then there was the time she dared him to walk the steel beams of a building going up in the neighborhood. He didn’t make it very far before losing his footing on some sand that had been spilled on one of them. Slipping he hit his head cutting his chin open. The City Hall dare however, left Jamie with just enough of a permanent limp to keep him out of military service. Clara always felt bad about it because Jamie had wanted to join the Navy so he could travel all over the world and climb every mountain he could find.
As soon as his leg was healed however, Clara was again on the lookout for things she could get Jamie to climb….
The two children walked closer to the old man. The girl bounced the ball, as they got closer as if to try and wake him. The old man didn’t move.
“Are you sure he’s not dead?” The girl asked the boy.
“Yeah I’m sure. Look,” the boy said pointing at him, “his chest just moved. See I told you he was just sleeping. He’s probably dreamin’. Come on lets go back and play some more. We have to go home soon.”
The old man slept on unaware of the day passing around him ….
The year after high school Jamie asked Clara to marry him.
“Clara,” Jamie said. “I can’t think of anyone that I want to spend the rest of my life with than you.”
“Jamie don’t be so dramatic, if you want to ask me to marry you just ask.
There is no need to get all mushy.”
To Jamie it seemed the most natural question in the world even if they had only kissed twice. They had done so many things that they never really had gotten around to kissing and stuff. Holding hands sure, they had been doing that since day one. Kissing, that was something else entirely.
“All right Clara I’m asking, will you marry me?”
Clara had known from the first day she laid eyes on him, that day in her apartment when her mother was feeding him cookies, that someday she would marry him if he asked. She also didn’t want to make it easy on him.
“Jamie Michael O’Brien I’ve got something for you to do.” She always started to talk to him like that when she had a dare for him. “If you climb… say the Statue of Liberty I’ll marry you.”
Jamie thought about it for a second then took off running down the street.
“Where are you going?” she called after him.
“To climb the old girl where else.”
She smiled to herself as he ran off. The things she could get him to do. Then she ran off after him calling his name, remembering that she had not told him how to climb the “old girl”….
The old man raised his head and opened his eyes. Funny, he thought what you remember and what you forget in your older years. Looking at the children again he noticed the boy sitting on the ground just a few feet away watching him. He smiled towards the boy then let his head fall back to his chest….
Jamie climbed to the torch on Lady Liberty and back. Clara met him at the bottom.
“You cheated Jamie Michael O’Brien!” She said as sternly as she could muster, trying of course not to laugh.
“How do figure I cheated Clara Elizabeth Keller?”
“You used the stairs, that’s how I figure you cheated.” She was having an even harder time not laughing and throwing herself into his arms and kissing him.
“Now my sweet Clara Elizabeth its fer sure ya din’t a tell me ta climb da outside o'the ol gal di ya.”
Jamie tried to speak like his father, it never did come out right but he didn’t care. Clara always laughed when he did and that was all that mattered. In fact she was laughing now.
“You don’t think I was going to make it that easy did you,” she managed to say between outbursts.
“Easy, are you kidding or what? Do you realize how many steps there are to that torch there? Well let me tell ya I be knowin’ ‘cuz I counted ‘em.”
“Jamie,” she whispered, as she stepped closer to him.
“Quit yer gabbin’ girl and tell me that you’ll marry me.” Jaime reached out and took her into his arms and held her close.
“What a ridiculous question….”
The old man woke with a start and rose quickly from the bench that he had been sitting on and started to walk away. The little girl and boy watched him as he disappeared down the path.
“Wot do ya figer dat were about?” The boy asked turning to the girl standing beside him.
“Beats me,” she answered laughing and giving him a shove.
The boy took off down the path the old man had gone and ran past him. The girl was close behind, her curly red hair bouncing as she too passed the old man.
“Jamie Michael O’Brien I’ve got something for you.” She called after him.
“No,” the boy called back to her over his shoulder slowing a bit so that she could catch him. “Clara Elizabeth Keller you stay away from me, I don’t want none even if yer uh givin' it away fer free.”
The old man smiled as the two children disappeared around the next corner of the path. He walked faster hoping that he would see the two again. His walk took him past the old school where he had once gone. It looked very much as it had then, but for the peeling paint on the doors and windows and the spray paint most everywhere else. He stopped for a moment to look at it and then the cornerstone. It was dated a year before he had moved to the neighborhood. How many children had gone through its doors to learn? How many would go through them before the school system decided that they needed to tear it down to make way for a newer, more modern school, or shut down leaving it to rot with its memories of laughing children was anybody’s guess.
After several blocks the old man reached his home, sat down in an overstuffed chair, his head tilted slightly to the left and dropped to his chest, and in his sleep he began to remember….
“Jamie you need to be getting inside now it’s getting dark and you know that you can’t work on that without any light.”
Jamie lifted his head from his work and looked around. He seemed confused about where he was for a second but then realized that he was standing in his front yard working on a car.
“Oh Clara ya know dat I’ll be jus a bit longa.”
“Jamie” Clara laughed, “tis a nudder day tomarrow.”
Jamie laughed closing the hood of the car and headed into the house….
The old man’s left hand fell to a stack of notebooks. His right hand rested gently on the arm of the chair before pushing out and knocking a cup filled with pens to the floor. Somewhere in his sleep it all made sense to him. All his questions were finally answered. Nothing a secret any longer, finally after years of torture he was allowed his peace. Year after year crossed his mind as his thoughts poured out from his memory. His mind emptying as they passed. A breeze began to fill the room and the pages of the hundreds of notebooks that were piled around flittered open. With each page that flipped open the words written there began to leave the pages and emptied into the air.
“Jamie Michael O’Brien,” the voice called sounding as if it were coming from far in the distance, “it’s time to come home.”
“Clara,” Jamie answered, “is that truly you?”
“Yes my love, come home now.” The voice sounded closer but still out of reach. “Come closer to me.”
“I’m not ready yet.”
“It matters not, for it is time, we have been apart for too long.”
“Yes, I suppose you are right, but the memories…” he started but could not finish as the woman appeared before him.
The curly haired red head opened the door and walked slowly into the room and went straight to the old man and took his hand.
“Come on I can’t wait forever ya know.” She began to cry as she pulled at his hand.
“Oh, just hold yer freckles,” called a voice as the boy appeared in the overstuffed chair.
The two disappeared as the last of the notebooks opened and the last of the words left the pages.
A gust of wind raced through the room of flitting pages blowing them out through the door. When the wind stopped there was one page left in the room. It floated from near the ceiling and landed in the old mans’ lap. The page was empty at first, but as it settled on his lap words began to appear.
“Just what took you so long Jamie?”
“Stop yer belly achin’ Clara Elizabeth Keller I be here now ain’t I.
“That you are, my love that you are.”
When the words finished appearing on the page, it lifted off the old man’s lap and floated off out the door and up into the sky.
Down on the sidewalk, in front the apartment house, the curly haired red head caught the boy.
“I got you now Jamie Michael O’Brien,” she yelled taking the boy by the back of his t-shirt. “Let’s go to my house, momma’s making us dinner.”
“I don’t think that I should Clara Elizabeth Keller.” The boy pulled loose and danced around the girl. “You know I don’t like you.”
“That will be the day.”
“That will be what day?”
“Dare you to kiss me,” she laughed, and took off running toward her home.
“Arrrrghhhh,” he yelled, watching her hair bounce as she ran down the street a couple more seconds before running behind her. There was no way he was ever going to back down from one of her dares.
Stealing Kisses
As I crossed the Mississippi river, I began to wonder why I went this way. No that’s not it really; well okay that too, but actually I began to wonder about first times. As I lay in my bunk tonight with my laptop open trying to work, I couldn’t get the thought completely out of my head. I even worked briefly on another one of my stories but found myself returning to the thoughts I had earlier.
Now, here I am, somewhere between here and there thinking of just how many firsts we have in our lives. Our first cry, first yawn, first smile, first laugh, okay, I’m not going to list them all here, because I think you get the idea. I remembered the first time I saw the bridge I had crossed during the day. I was coming up the river on a steamboat then. I was standing on the bow amidst the ropes and gangway as we made our way under the steel suspension bridge, that I had rumbled across to skirt what used to be and perhaps still is, the largest arsenal the United States ever had, or so I was told. Not, mind you, for its size acreage wise, but for how much was stored there. Why is this important to my story? Beats me I just thought you might like to know where I was today.
I remember too a few of my first times; my first broken bone, my first…. Well, never mind I guess I should just get on with it all. I remember the first time I kissed the girl that got away or should I say, I let get away. It was on a bus and… oh, all right I guess if I am going to tell stories about my mother I can tell a bit about myself too. It was Junior High, the last part of it anyway, how I wish I could turn it all back just far enough.
Anyway, we were selected by our music teacher as being the best in our junior high band or something like that. We were quite the miss matched pair, me standing nearly six foot all at that time and she standing about five, three. Our prize was that we got the privilege to carry the school banner for the senior high band in the parades that were coming up. I know some prize huh, but it was kind of fun just the same. Most importantly they would lead up to the parade, that would lead up to the kiss and not just any kiss, it was that first bungling ‘what am I doing kiss.’ It was a competition that the band went to every year. There were different categories and if I remember it correctly, if you entered the competition you had to march in the parade. There were four categories and we were in three of them. Every year we placed very high in everything except marching band. I guess it’s true that you can’t be good at everything no matter how hard you try. Not that it ever matter to any of us, the whole marching while playing thing was way over rated anyway. The competition was spread out over a few days but the majority of it was held on a Saturday. Since it was on a weekend and we would travel with them. It was a long day and well, we had to have something to do during all the stuff that we were not participating in. It was kind of rainy and she and I went to the bus to get out of the rain. Maybe it was just to find a quiet, place to sit. Then again, maybe we were just tired of walking around. That has bothered me today as I write this and perhaps she can tell me is whose idea was it to go back to the bus. Did I just follow her like a lost puppy, did she follow me or was it just something we both thought would be a good idea. I remember talking to her and getting that funny feeling inside me. You know all weird, like you know something is going to happen but you’re not quite sure what it is or if it is going to be the wrong thing to do. Is it something that you are going to remember for the rest of your life as embarrassing or something that you are going to look back on and smile, knowing that at that moment you were as happy as you had ever been? Would it turn out to be something, wonderful, thrilling, exhilarating, lousy, a little bad or just the worst thing that you could have possibly done in your life? I remember talking to her about something, for all I know, or remember it was about the weather. I don’t think that what we were talking about was even remotely interesting to either one of us. Well I know for sure that whatever it was it was becoming increasingly uninteresting to me, whatever it was. I do remember leaning in, turning my head toward her, when my worst fears were pushed to the envelope.
“What are you doing?” she asked me, lowering her head and turning away from me.
I think I mumbled something, I’m not sure what, I just remember fighting back the urge to run, and of course, I wanted to be brave. After all, I thought that if I didn’t kiss her I was just going to die. After that, whatever she said was lost to me. I only knew that I had to kiss her, I was bent on it, it was my duty, well, all right I wouldn’t say it was my duty exactly, that may be a bit too strong of a word. It was the first time I felt that if I didn’t do something right then I never would have had the nerve to do it again.
“Oh,” is kind of what I remember her saying, as she looked back up to me and we kissed. In that brief semi-stolen kiss I truly lost my heart for the first time. Something I have never forgotten nor have I forgotten her for that matter.
What happened after that was more firsts for both of us and at least one ending. It was also something that she has never let me forget, not that I could.
Stealing kisses in the flashes of darkness. It was as if there was no one around. Each time they circled from light to dark their lips would meet for the brief moment it was dark. The merry-go-round wasn’t for them, but how could any ones inner child pass up the opportunity to sit and ride around on the painted ponies. If for a moment more they could be ten again, or perhaps teenagers out for a night at the fair.
The two kissed again and again, each time they passed into the flashes of darkness laughing in the night as they broke off their kiss. Years seemed to fade away from them with each turn of the merry-go-round. It would not be long before they were again teenagers and again it was their first kiss.
He had begged for the car so that he could take her out on their first official date. Going to the fair was her idea. She, thinking that surely there was little that they could do at the fair that could be misleading. After all, she was not sure how well she liked him. On the other hand he thought that she was the last girl he would ever have to be nervous asking out.
She thought it was funny the way his feet had kicked at the ground when he had asked her on the date. He had thought it funny that she hesitated and then blushed when she had said yes.
After all, she thought, what other boy was she going to get to take her to the fair? It would be over in just a few more days and she had yet to be asked by any of the boys that she knew she liked. So when he stood there kicking at the ground she couldn’t refuse the offer.
He had liked her for some time and had always found a reason to go by her house. It hadn’t mattered to him that she had been seen keeping time with more than just one boy; he only had eyes for her. Besides, he thought, if she spends time with the other boys, he will look that much better to her when he shows her just how much better he was than them. He was nearly certain that she was the one, the one girl that mattered, the one girl that would change his life.
She was certain that the small town would never hold the right boy for her, it was, well backwards and all the boys had dirt under their nails and a smell to them that fine gentlemen should never have. It was what she believed anyway. She knew that she could lead them on to get whatever she wanted from them. However, not one of them was suitable to marry. He was no different; he was just at the right place at the right time when she had wanted something. She left no doubt as to why she had said yes; at least that is what she had told herself. Still, she thought him cute kicking at the ground as he talked.
He had opened the door for her when he came to pick her up. He had even come to the front door to ask for her. He had offered her his hand as she entered the old jalopy. She nearly tore her new summer dress on a loose screw. He had driven them safely to the fair where she had run across two of her friends who had convinced their boyfriends to take them to the fair that very same day. It was quite accidentally, she had told him. However, he knew that she had planned it and yet it did not bother him. All that mattered was that he was out with her, the one that could hold his heart, if only she would accept it.
They spent most of the day wandering through the farm exhibits. He stopped several times to talk with the exhibitors, especially when she insisted on paying more attention to her friends. She grew angrier at his stopping and she told him so. He offered her his elbow, she accepted and he led her away from her friends. Questioning him she tried to get an answer, he did not alter his direction as the two made their way from the others and to the picnic area. He paid for a picnic basket and ushered her to a shaded spot near a small pond. Families ate around them. He sat across from her and opened the basket. She found nothing that suited her inside. After asking what it was that she wanted, he went after it. As she waited for him to return she found herself looking for her friends. They had taken his idea. Following them, they purchased their own baskets and found a place under another shade tree. She went over to where the four were sitting and joined them. When he returned he found her gone. While he wanted to look for her, he refused. Sitting down he ate his meal, drank his soda and waited for her to either return or not. He decided that he was not going to keep chasing after her. Slowly it was coming to him that she did not really wish to be there with him at all. It wasn’t as if she cared about him, at least that is what she was telling herself. If not then why was she feeling sorry for him? Still she sat with her friends watching him eat his meal, as hers got cold. Her friends did share their baskets with her and of course, she didn’t have any problem eating what they offered her. Even though it was, the same cold sandwiches that she had refused to eat from his basket.