Don’t Bang Denmark
Roosh V
© 2011 by Roosh V
Smashwords Edition
http://www.rooshv.com
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TABLE OF CONTENTS
Denmark Background…
Danish Culture…
The Government’s Role As Mother And Father…
The Biggest Cockblocker In The World…
Which City To Visit?...
Logistics…
Doing Denmark On The Cheap…
Body & Appearance…
Personality & Vibe…
Types Of Danish Girls…
Approach Index…
Internet Game…
Day Game…
Night Game…
Additional Game Analysis…
The Ditch Move…
The Danish, Swedish, and Icelandic Girls…
Drama, Vodka, Sex, and Blood…
Lodging…
Daytime…
Nighttime…
The Bottom Line…
I
Welcome To Denmark
“Why Denmark?” That’s a question I’ve been asked several dozen times by both Danes and Americans. The answer I’ve been giving has never proved satisfactory to my listener. It goes something like this:
“When I lived in Rio, one of my roommates was a Danish guy named Henrik who I got along great with. When we both left the city, he told me to come by Copenhagen one day. I promised him that I would, and I fulfilled that promise at the same time I became curious about Scandinavia.”
If Henrik had been a girl instead of a guy, that story might have been romantic, but the truth is that my visit to Denmark was just about visiting a friend in a part of the world I wanted to learn more about. Spending so much time in South America had left me aching for Europe, so after two fun months in Iceland, I decided that another two months in Denmark would be a great experience.
I was wrong.
It took about three weeks for my friendship with Henrik to sour. At about the same time, I realized that Denmark had absolutely nothing I wanted. Stuck in a short-term lease I was reluctant to break, I went on to endure one of the least enjoyable times of my life outside the United States. While I don’t regret anything I’ve done in life, I do wish I had listened to all the guys who told me to visit Sweden instead.
My goal with this book is to help men who either are in the unfortunate predicament of having to visit Denmark or who want a newfound appreciation for their own deficient culture. This book is a warning of how bad things can get for a single man looking for feminine, beautiful, sexy women.
Since Denmark is so small, I will generalize for the entire country based on my stay in its capital, Copenhagen. Prepare to read the most angry book I’ve ever written.
Denmark Background
Denmark is a modern first-world country with old European charm. It’s safe, clean, and contains all the fine amenities you’d expect from a wealthy Scandinavian country. Copenhagen is no exception, but the problem is that there isn’t a whole lot more to say about it. It’s very pleasant and picturesque, but excels in nothing. The nightlife is mediocre. The women are below mediocre. The food is below mediocre. The prices are sky high. The public transportation system is extensive, but expensive when compared to other European cities. Supposedly it has “the best restaurant in the world,” a ludicrous title, but other than that there’s nothing I can think of that would entice you to visit.
The one thing I’ve found that Denmark performs above average in is bicycle paths. Bicycles are like a religion. Thanks to Copenhagen’s flat terrain, the bike has become the main mode of transportation for Danish people, even when going out at night.
I was able to procure a bike during my stay, but I never got used to riding it all the time, especially at night. One reason is that when I lived in my dad’s basement, I had to ride my old college bike to and from the subway station on weekend nights because I was too poor to afford a taxi. Riding a bike at night has negative connotations for me.
I’d tell Danish people that if you rode your bike to a club in Washington DC, you’d be pegged as a loser, but in Denmark everyone does it so you don’t sustain a negative hit in value. I actually wished that riding bikes at night would be considered shameful because it fucks up logistics when it comes to the one-night stand, as I’ll explain later.
While it’s kind of cool that you see dozens of drunk people riding their bikes at 5:00 a.m. on Saturday morning, you’d better believe that fewer girls are wearing heels or tight clothing because of it. Girls riding their bikes at night is truly the antithesis of sexiness. When I see a group of four girls on their wheels, it makes me think of when I was a kid and used to ride my bike with friends to the 7-Eleven to get a Slurpee. In other words, it’s not boner inducing.
Therefore, I declare that the type of people who will love Denmark the most are those who like riding bicycles, day or night. Other than that, I can’t recommend Denmark. If you’re reading this right now, do all that you can to get out of your trip, because I doubt you’ll enjoy it. Denmark is one of the few places that made me miss America, and as you may already know, I really don’t like America.
One big problem with Denmark is the weather. The winter is long and dark, with the whole month of December seeing only forty-two hours of sunlight. Pussy literally goes into hibernation, as I got to experience upon my still-cold March arrival. Not until the weather warmed up slightly in late April did I start slaying Danish women, making me feel almost like I was in a different country compared to when I first arrived.
I’ll admit that summer wasn’t entirely bad. The women started to dress more provocatively and were friendlier, but it still sucked compared to just about anywhere else (even Washington DC is more fun in the summer months). You also have to understand that “summer” in Denmark means three months when the average high stays under seventy degrees Fahrenheit. I think most people would consider that spring. If you insist on experiencing shitty weather then at least go to Iceland, where the women are cuter.
Copenhagen is so generic that I don’t know what else to tell you. Just imagine a plain European city that offends no one and has a lot of bicycles.
Danish Culture
Denmark is one of those countries that saw glory several hundred years ago, lost its power, and then reinvented itself into a mostly pacifist nanny state. Thanks to its participation in the NATO alliance, Denmark has reasonably low military expenditures that—with its high tax rates—allow it to divert funds into social programs, in which it ranks among the best in the world.
The Danish welfare state is admirable: every citizen receives fully covered cradle-to-grave services. A Danish person has no idea what it feels like to not have medical care or free access to university education. They have no fear of becoming homeless or permanently jobless. The government’s soothing hand will catch everyone as they fall. To an American like myself, brainwashed to believe that you need to earn things like basic health care or education by working your ass off, it was quite a shock.
The biggest surprise was that the Danish government pays people to attend university for both undergraduate and graduate degrees. In addition to having health care costs covered and access to cheap rent, all students receive at least a $1,000 a month stipend to attend class. Along with part-time jobs that pay high wages, the average Danish twenty-something lives a pretty comfortable life getting educated to eventually follow a straightforward career path in a country where nearly full employment seems to be the rule.
Even if you don’t get a job, the government will pay you each month until you do. Do you feel like taking a little hiatus to a foreign country? As long as you can show you’re taking part-time classes, the government will keep the cash flowing. For a lower-class American, becoming a Danish citizen is almost like winning the lottery.
How is Denmark able to afford this? Two ways: they spend a third less of their GDP on the military than we do, and they tax the hell out of their citizens. Tax rates start at 40% and tilt above 50% for the top classes. My effective tax rate last year as an American resident was 20%, so the question I’ve asked myself is if I’d want to double my tax for not having to worry about being homeless or getting a serious disease. I’m leaning towards no, since of course one day I’m going to be a billionaire like every other American and don’t want half of it taken away. I would actually save money by being taxed at 20% and getting private health insurance, but then again I’m middle-class and can afford it. America is great if you have money, but Denmark is great for everyone.
What surprised me most about Denmark is their healthy job market. It’s almost guaranteed that a job will await every Dane after graduation, and I’m not talking about crappy jobs at McDonald’s or Walmart, but well-paying career positions. After taxes and the exorbitant high prices for basic goods, Danish people still live comfortably. No one is starving and you’ll have to look hard to find homeless people.
It’s no accident that the American media isn’t eager to discuss the many citizen benefits that countries like Denmark have. They are quick to do profiles on poor countries in the third-world, but they rarely write about the extensive services Scandinavian countries provide for all of their citizens, regardless of race or class. When they do talk about these countries, it’s usually about how budget cuts are looming for their “ailing” social models, as if the average American citizen is doing far better.
Unfortunately, there is a cost to providing your citizens everything they possibly need: you make them averse to taking risks. Why bother when you got it made in the shade? There is little incentive for entrepreneurship and striking it rich, even though the Ease of Doing Business Index ranks Denmark as number six, only one behind America. Danes would rather work for the man and do the minimum required of them to coast through the system than take a gamble. Being aggressive and taking risks may cost them some serious benefits, so they do what they need to in order to maintain a decent middle-class existence. While I don’t blame them, this mildly offends the entrepreneurial spirit within my American core.
The Government’s Role As Mother And Father
Thanks to its extensive services, the Danish government has replaced parents as the primary caregiver. The Danes decided that there was too much inequality in the system with the rich having access to all the benefits, so they constructed an egalitarian society. The government’s utopian visionaries told parents, “You don’t have to do anything but love your children. We’ll take care of the rest. Oh, and when you get old, we’ll take care of you, too.”
Since family is pushed out of the picture, one consequence is that Danish people very seldom talk about their families. I never saw a 20- or 30-something Danish adult with an elderly person, whereas in Poland I saw it a dozen times a day. The old people are pushed aside to be taken care of by the system, not by the kids, the opposite of what I saw in South America where the elders are cherished, often living in the same household as the younger generations. I’d bet that the average Danish person interacts with the government more than with their parents.
Another consequence of the Danish system is that women no longer need men. For hundreds of thousands of years, women have sought to marry powerful men with strong financial means in order to live a comfortable life (or to merely survive), but in Denmark this is not at all necessary. Danish women don’t need to find a man, because the government will take care of her and her cats, whether she is successful at dating or not. Her quality of life won’t be negatively affected if she happens to remain single until death, whereupon her cats will inherit her possessions according to Danish law.
Since a Danish woman is in no rush to find someone, she wants to hold out for her top choice instead of having to “settle” for any particular man while she’s still in her physical prime. The result is that Danish women like to sample men and play the field, thinking they have all the time in the world. They’re also less willing to change their behavior by adopting a pleasing figure or style that’s more likely to attract men. It’s no surprise that there’s a flood of sloppy 30-something women on dating sites, making Denmark one of the most popular countries where the Internet is used to find a mate.
In spite of the negatives, I think the Danish economic and welfare system is superior to the American system for one simple reason: it’s fair. They have achieved a near utopia of human equality, where everyone can educate themselves and seek employment without fear of possible bankruptcy from illness. Even the mentally decrepit and drug addicted are treated like human beings, meaning that everyone has an opportunity to rise up above their station. In the United States we have a bad habit of kicking people when they’re down. Watching people fall, especially the famous, is almost a national sport, but in Denmark, they put out a strong hand to help you back onto your feet.
I liken the United States to a jungle where everyone must fend for themselves. A lot of people don’t make it, but the ones that do can roam the land freely and suck on its glorious fruit. On the other hand, Denmark is like a pleasant zoo with scheduled feeding times and twenty-four-hour veterinarian care. While I’d prefer the American system if I was on top of the food chain, the average human being would be better served by the Danish system.
The Biggest Cockblocker In The World
The Danish system of equality is further amplified by Jante Law, a set of cultural rules that is deeply engrained in every Dane. Its main tenet can be summed up as: “No one is superior to anyone else.”
It’s taboo to show off, brag, or even indirectly show your value. You can’t talk about how much you enjoy your job, how you bought an awesome brand new anything, or how generally happy you are with life—anything that might show how you may be better than your audience. When you disagree with someone, you have to be very gentle about criticizing them because otherwise you would imply that you’re smarter. You can never say “you’re wrong” to anyone. Most Danes avoid possible arguments by simply not bringing up their contrary opinions.
Here are the ten rules of Jante Law:
1. Don’t think you’re anything special.
2. Don’t think you’re as good as us.
3. Don’t think you’re smarter than us.
4. Don’t convince yourself that you’re better than us.
5. Don’t think you know more than us.
6. Don’t think you are more important than us.
7. Don’t think you are good at anything.
8. Don’t laugh at us.
9. Don’t think anyone cares about you.
10. Don’t think you can teach us anything.
Take a minute to think about the resulting personalities of people who believe in these rules. Combine it with what I mentioned earlier about Danes not being risk takers. Can you imagine the type of conversations that result?
Painfully boring conversations.
Everyone is scared of generalizing or giving strong opinions. Risky topics are avoided. Showing knowledge or experience must be done in a light-handed way. All your accomplishments, no matter how small, must be minimized to make them a result of luck instead of hard work or innate talent. You can’t judge those who are less fortunate than you by calling them lazy or stupid. You’re immediately punished for showing any real spark or emotion. You must hide your individuality and conform to what society expects of you.
The Danish egalitarian system and Jante Law feed on each other to form what is one of the most liberal, feminist-friendly societies in the world. Therefore, when it comes to getting laid, your American attitude and belief system will cockblock the fuck out of you before you even open your mouth. Since basically the entire point of game is showing you’re better than the next guy, something that Jante Law specifically forbids, it’s no surprise to find that game efforts will not be well received in Denmark, especially if you consider yourself an alpha male. It was amusing how often and how quickly I’d offend every Danish girl without even trying.
In the States you may have heard someone say, “If the police want to get you, they will. There are so many laws on the books that you’re always breaking one at any point.” I feel the same way with Jante Law. As an American, you’re breaking every facet of Jante Law just by being American. Your confident body language alone is breaking tenets one and four. Understand that Danish culture will cockblock you on your every approach.
Even minor game techniques go over poorly in Denmark. For example, let’s take a look at this statement: “When I was in Colombia for six months, I studied Spanish. I got good at it, but now I suck again.” A pretty innocent way to show value to a girl, right? Not in Denmark. I’m implying that I’m more well-traveled than her and also more knowledgeable in the realm of language. I’m breaking Jante Law. The girl will punish me by withdrawing from the conversation.
You’re probably thinking that this is absurd. That’s because you’re from a country like America, England, Australia, or Canada, where that type of statement will be rewarded with female interest. The conversation you’re supposed to have in Denmark should be void of these types of “value drops” while at the same time not teasing her at all, since teasing implies that you’re better than her. Consider that even wearing a tight t-shirt that shows off your muscles comes close to breaking Jante Law because you’re bragging that you’re stronger than someone else. In Denmark, individuality must be destroyed for the greater good. You’re not an individual, just a worthless slug that is just like all the other slugs.
While the Danish government has made human rights more egalitarian, Jante Law has made sex more egalitarian. Instead of a few guys fucking all the women like in the States (while the sexual losers stay home and play World of Warcraft), you have more Danish guys getting laid, though with fewer partners. In other words, the alpha male is neutralized in Denmark. He’s not rewarded with more sex for his alphaness because alphaness breaks Jante Law.
If you were in a country where game didn’t really matter and everyone downplayed their attractiveness by looking like they had just come out of a thrift store, which man would fuck the most women? Answer: the one with the best social circle. Since you won’t have that, a big portion of this book will be about sharing some tips so you can still sleep around at the high frequency you may be used to.
My biggest complaint about Jante Law is that there is a double standard in how it’s applied. So far, I’ve established that Denmark is a highly feminist country. It’s a place where women think they’re equal or superior to men, eager to castrate them for displays of alpha masculinity. So can you take a guess as to which gender will be hypocrites when it comes to the law’s application?
Danish women are the most hypocritical breed of female I have ever encountered. Let me give you an example. In conversations, I would make a comment about how Danish women aren’t feminine or that the state shouldn’t be so eager to take care of drug addicts who have no interest in quitting. I was then scolded for having “expectations” of how people should or shouldn’t act and that I was attributing a person’s faults to his nature instead of his environment. Fair enough—that was their argument and I can respect another person’s opinion.
Then five minutes later, I’d say I was going to Poland. The Danish girl would frown and say, “Why Poland? The people there are ugly. Polish girls are dirty prostitutes.” Really? You just got on me for generalizing, but now you’re doing it five times worse. This happened to me at least a couple of times each week.
You’re not allowed to criticize Denmark or their way of life, since you’re just a stupid, possibly fat American, but she can criticize anything she wants while shitting on your opinion at the same time. This angered me to no end, and the fact that Danish women ended up being so wrong about Polish women suggests they hold some jealousy towards them.
I’ve come to the conclusion that Jante Law has two real purposes. The first is to hold men down. It serves to cherish women and their opinions and hypocrisy while preventing you from “fighting” back. A girl can break Jante Law but you can’t, and if you do, you’ll be banished from the tribe. This is a classic case of women demanding equality but then perpetuating inequality to further their cause at the expense of men’s.
The second feature of Jante Law is to keep your neighbor down. If there is no benefit for your neighbor to show off his unique character, experience, or wealth, that means he’ll be more ashamed about doing better in life than you. Jante Law is like an anti-bragging behavioral modification drug meant to make people who aren’t as skilled or successful as you feel better about themselves.
What Jante Law ultimately does is protect the egos of women and the unambitious who constantly feel the need to compare their lot with everyone else’s. While I approve of the benefits the government gives to all its citizens, Jante Law is something I can’t live with. Unfortunately, we have to accept that they go hand-in-hand, that we can’t fulfill basic human rights for all without viewing everyone as equal. That’s fine for most people, but I’ve spent way too much time happily surviving in the jungle to pack my bags and move into the zoo.
Which City To Visit?
There are two main cities to visit: Copenhagen and Aarhus. Copenhagen is the capital and often the only Danish city that travelers visit (something that held true for myself). With a population of 1.1 million, it’s not a heavily populated metropolis, but since it’s spread out it’ll seem larger than it actually is. It has passable nightlife on the weekends, so you should be able to find enough targets to meet your minimal sex goals.
Right now I’m kicking myself in the ass for not visiting Aarhus, a city west of the capital on Jutland Island. The reason is because the prettiest, friendliest, warmest girls I met in Copenhagen were from there, a city of 300,000. It was painfully obvious to me that the best Danish women were based in Aarhus, but I still didn’t visit. The reason was because I was so beaten down by Copenhagen that I hated everything Danish and didn’t want to put a scrap of energy to invest in it further. I preferred moping on the cheap in Copenhagen.
I regret that decision now, because I really want to be able to advise you based on firsthand experience. You’ll just have to take a leap of faith and trust me that Aarhus has better women than Copenhagen. If you do plan to stay in Denmark for the long term and have a choice as to which city to stay in, it’d be a good idea for you to spend at least a weekend in Aarhus to compare.
Logistics
Getting to and from Denmark offers no challenge. Go to Kayak.com for airfares or hop on a train if you’re in Sweden. Lodging is a little more difficult to obtain, especially if you want to rent an apartment. I found it almost impossible to find a cheap furnished apartment that costs less than $75 per day, and hotels won’t be much cheaper than $100 a night for something on the low end. When you add that to food and drink costs, your Copenhagen bill can get extremely high. All you get for that is watching a lot of ugly women on bicycles.
I’ll recommend some specific hotels for Copenhagen in its city guide later, but for longer term rentals there are three sites that are helpful. The first is the active rental group on CouchSurfing (http://www.couchsurfing.org). Click on Community, then on Find Groups, then enter Copenhagen in the search box. The main downside here is that you’ll be rooming with other people. The second option is DBA (http://www.dba.dk), which is something like a Danish Craigslist. You’ll have to use a translator tool to navigate the site (Google Chrome has an option to translate everything automatically). A final option is Craigslist (http://copenhagen.en.craigslist.dk/hhh/). As it gets more popular with Danish people, Craigslist will be increasingly more useful.
An additional site worth mentioning is the Foreigners In Denmark Forum (http://portal.foreignersindenmark.dk/forum/). While it doesn’t have many rental listings, it’s a good place to ask any questions you have about Denmark that I don’t answer in this guide.
Your best bet to get housing is during the summer by subletting someone’s furnished place while they travel abroad. Outside of the summer season, you’re looking at long minimum stays that can make it a challenge to find something for only a month or two.
There are no specific packing needs for Denmark, but I do recommend that you bring an unlocked cell phone (get a SIM card from a mobile shop like Lebara in any mall). One-night stands definitely happen, but Danish women can move a bit slow at times, making cell phone communication important.
When it comes to language, English is widely spoken by Danish people, even the elderly. The only issue you’ll have is communicating with older immigrants who own grocery stores or kebab shops (I found pointing and miming to be sufficient). There is absolutely no reason to learn Danish, a hard language that even Danish people regularly complain about, mostly about how ugly it sounds. The English possessed by Danes is so strong that you won’t even have to slow down your speech.
Doing Denmark On The Cheap
You will not find value in Denmark. I’m not sure how the country managed to do it, but it’s slightly more expensive than Iceland, a place where over 90% of goods have to be imported. Food, alcohol, and lodging costs are all through the roof, and the only place you’ll really save money is on transportation if you’re able to get your hands on a used bicycle. The fact that the dollar is past its heyday makes Denmark one of the most expensive places in the world to visit.
That said, I managed to spend one dollar a day less in Denmark than in Iceland ($59 versus $60). I accomplished this is two ways. First, I stopped going to the coffee shop. A cup of tea in Denmark approached $6, and with a little snack we’re talking $10 a day. I simply stayed home all day to do my work.