Simplicity, Joy and Mystery

A Guide to Growing Up, Not Old

By Joan S. Mishra

Copyright Joan S. Mishra 2012

Smashwords Edition License Notes:

This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you're reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to Smashwords.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

Cover design by Courtney Craig

****

Within a person there is an effulgence of God…Along with this light of God, there is so much joy. The purpose of human life is to attain that joy. Swami Muktananda

Preface

The feeling behind the phrase, "growing old", or the term, "aging", is so much different than the sensation associated with the expression, "growing up". Doesn't the idea of growing old or aging sound discouraging? Who would want to do that? On the other hand, when we were children, we all looked forward to reaching the next age or grade. We glowed with self-satisfaction when someone told us that we looked more grown-up.

Most likely the reason we don't look forward to growing older over fifty is that we fear it means gradually decreasing our good health, losing interest in learning new things, becoming useless to others, turning weak-minded, or a host of other negativities. However, that stage of our life doesn't need to be that way. It can be a time of vibrant health, increased usefulness, and deeper spiritual wisdom.

The tricky part is it doesn't just happen by itself; we have to become more conscious about how to grow up in order to not just grow old. Dr. Mark Hyman and Dr. Mark Liponis in their recent book, Ultra Prevention, state, "All of us want to die as old as possible feeling as young as possible; we want to be in perfect health until we're one hundred, then go to sleep and not wake up. That's not such an impossible wish. But to accomplish it, you have to work at it."

Most essential to this sense of growing up are good health practices. This may mean changing our daily habits and diets. As Buddha once said, "To keep the body in good health is a duty…Otherwise, we will not be able to keep the mind strong and clear." If we put some energy into keeping our body healthy, we'll not only be rewarded with good health, but we will also have the ability to develop inner strength. Wouldn't you love to be a healthy grandparent or pillar of the community who can be relied upon for advice, tranquility and deep affection for the rest of your life?

I want to envision this uplifting picture not only for those who are currently at that time of life, but also for those who are relatively young. I feel the current depiction of people over 50 in the media is often disheartening. Nearly every commercial during the national news, for example, shows older people needing drugs for high cholesterol, high blood pressure, bladder or erectile dysfunction, or Alzheimer's, to name a few. I hate to think of the younger generation imagining themselves headed down that path towards such a dark future.

In case you are beginning to feel skeptical about the optimistic premise of this book, consider the example of the Tarahumara Indians, an ancient tribe that lives in the canyons of northeastern Mexico. They are especially remarkable for their ability to run long distances between villages. (You can read more about them in Christopher McDougall's book, Born to Run.) It is common knowledge in their culture that the older members of the tribe are better athletes than the younger ones. This was actually verified by a team from Harvard University that took various physiological measurements for fitness and determined that the sixty-year-olds were more fit than the forty-year-olds, and the forty-year-olds more fit than the twenty-year-olds. How astounding is that! I am not suggesting we all become long distance runners. I only want to let you know becoming weaker as the years pass is not the norm in other cultures, and it doesn't need to be the case for us either.

When we truly grow up, we become more spontaneous and child-like, in the most positive sense of the word. Thich Nhat Hanh, the revered Vietnamese Buddhist monk, wrote, "I was born to live ten thousand lives with the heart of a child." And Jesus reminded us that children's nature is the kingdom of heaven (Matthew 19:14). It is one of life's most amazing mysteries that the more evolved we become, the more we return to remembering our innate childish sense of wonder, gratitude, love and freedom.

The concepts in this book are derived from observing some of the admirable older people around me, from my own experience, and from a variety of health-related, psychological/spiritual books that are listed in the Suggested Reading section at the back of the book. . Paragraphs in bold print are short descriptions of real people's experiences. I hope you will feel encouraged and inspired by their examples! Also, if you would like to read more on related subjects, go to my blog site, Growup-notold.com.

****

Chapter 1: Simplicity

Ideally, one of the beauties of the later part of life is that life becomes simpler. We are no longer responsible for children and pets; we often have left our jobs; we have smaller houses and fewer possessions. In Indian yogic philosophy, the final stage of life involves giving up all material goods and devoting oneself to meditation, even going so far as adopting the life of a wandering monk. Now that is true simplicity! Most of us do not want to take simplicity that far, but whatever we can do in the last quarter of life to become freer and simpler, will enhance our sense of true happiness and contentment. Here are a few suggestions along those lines.

Simplify Your House

I once heard a saying that went something like, "The longer your list of possessions, the farther you are from God." I've noticed that whenever I clean out closets and drawers and drop off the items at Goodwill or some other charity organization, I feel lighter. I also have an easier time finding things when I look for them. An especially good opportunity to do this is when the seasons change. In Texas, the Fall brings renewed energy and a great sense of relief from the heat. And, of course, Spring is the perfect time for "Spring Cleaning". Giving your house or apartment a good cleaning and donating excess stuff adds to the sense of a fresh start in life at those times of year.

Look around your house and notice what things are necessary and what are unnecessary. In the unnecessary category would be clothes you never seem to wear, stuff in your garage you haven't used in years, books you don't plan to read again, accumulations of odds and ends in drawers and closets, etc. Ask yourself in every room and closet of your house,"Do I really need this?" Some things in your house, such as art or photographs, may have special sentimental or esthetic value. If those items bring you joy or love, then they are necessary and beneficial to your well-being.

Deciding what to keep and what to give away is your family's personal choice. Be sure to check with others before you go on a simplicity quest. Respecting your family harmony is more important than achieving a simpler environment, so do your best to balance the two.

Once your house is filled with only the things you really need, you will notice your mind seems clearer. In fact, as you are clearing things out, it is a great idea to do a visualization of dusting and clearing out your mind and releasing any negative thoughts or pent-up emotions. Imagine your house clearing is also clearing out your inner world.

You will really enjoy this new inner and outer openness!

Cleaning the Simple Way

There is at least one aisle in the grocery store filled with cleaning products. Most of us have a collection of these favorite items under our kitchen sink. But are they really necessary? And are they really good for us? Most are filled with harsh and toxic chemicals designed to kill germs. Unfortunately, they may be partly killing us as well.

To bring more health and simplicity to your home environment, try the following. Replace all or most of your cleaning products with white vinegar. Vinegar is effective for killing germs and contains no undesirable chemicals. You can use it full strength if you want a strong solution, for example, when cleaning the toilet or scrubbing calcium deposits off of faucet handles. Or you can mix it with water, usually 1 cup of vinegar to a gallon of water. Remember to mix it thoroughly. Add a few drops of an essential oil (available at most health food stores), such as lemon or peppermint. This will give your cleaning solution a fresh smell. There are also a variety of healthy cleaning products on the market, such as those by a company called Seventh Generation, available at most health food stores and some regular grocery stores. If you want to put a little shine on your floors, I recommend using the old-fashioned Murphy's Oil Soap. It has a subtle, floral smell and is made only of vegetable oil.

Moderate Your Use of Technology

I have noticed that checking email on one's phone or computer has become very addictive to many of us, including me. It seems there is always some new message or bit of information we are excited to see. In addition to email, we also have facebook and twitter to fascinate us. Although it's wonderful to have all this information and human contact at our fingertips, the overuse of computers and cell phones can become mentally agitating. To ensure a calm, clear state of mind, it's best to put some limits on our use of these distractions. For example, you could decide to check your computer only after lunch and dinner, instead of every time you walk by it. You can still be an efficient email responder in this way. Be sure you are the master of the computer, not the other way around!

Many of us have the habit of eating breakfast with the news on TV. When we do this, we are allowing the world to come into our peaceful inner sanctuary. Do we really want scenes of war, stories of child abuse, political scandals, death, sickness and more in our breakfast room? And worse yet, do we want it in our thoughts first thing in the morning? Instead, try waking up with an empty, relaxed mind. Simply enjoy eating and perhaps a little conversation. This way you can start your day fresh and cheerful.

If you watch television in the evening, try muting all the commercials. (Or record and fast forward through them.) No one needs to be bombarded with money-driven demands to buy this and that. Eliminate that from your daily life.

If you use a cell phone, be sure you are its boss, not the other way around. Have you ever been in a group of people when someone's phone rings? Everyone panics at once. Whose phone is it?? When your phone rings several times a day, you are getting repeated adrenal rushes that are not good for you. Try keeping your phone on vibrate and check it when you are relaxed and have time.

Experiment with what kinds of limitations work for you. De-agitate yourself by reducing your daily technology use as much as possible. It does take a while to set up some new habits, so wean yourself gradually. Your life will feel simpler!

Respect Your Money

Money is a form of energy in your life, much like technology is. It can harass you and stress you out daily, or it can be a helpful companion. Everyone relates to the money in their life in their own unique way. Do you hold on to it with a vise-like grip, watching every penny? Or do you over-extend yourself, so that you are in debt to many credit cards companies and can barely get a good night's sleep? Or are you erratic with money, so its energy spills everywhere at times and is all dried up at other times?

The more we simplify and show respect towards our use of money, the more peace of mind we will have. Here's some basic ideas along those lines. Use only one credit card, and throw away the rest. Be sure to pay it on time every month, so you do not make regular donations to the credit card company. If you have trouble keeping track of how much you spend, only use a bank debit card. That way you will not overspend and can keep track of it online. Whenever possible, avoid buying things on credit. Go back to the old-fashioned way and save up before you spend. Also, before you buy, ask yourself, "Do I really need this?"

Even better than a credit card is to use cash if you really want to be more aware of how much you are spending. That way you can allot yourself a certain amount, and then see physically how much you have left at the end of each week. When your use of money is simpler by using these methods, you will feel more in charge of it. It won't be jumping up and surprising you with large credit card bills or overdrawn accounts.

Aside from simplifying and being more aware of your money use, also practice generosity. Money, in some ways, is like love. The more you give, the more you get. If you give freely with an open heart to charity or to people who need it, I believe, it will return to you. If you hold on to it like Scrooge himself, the universe will reflect that stingy attitude back at you, and you may feel constantly poor.

Your Words and the Four Gates

In Sufism, there is a wonderful saying to help us watch what words we use. The advice is to be sure our words pass through "the three gates" by asking ourselves the following three questions before speaking: Is it truthful? Is it necessary? Is it kind? If you try practicing this, you will cut down on a lot of words you don't really need to say. Gurumayi Chidvilasanada, a beloved Indian spiritual master, suggested adding: Is it timely? You will be amazed how much more receptive people are to your comments, suggestions or feelings, if you are able to find the right time to say them. Experiment with these ideas. I think you'll find a new simplicity in your speech, and you will become a person who speaks little, but speaks with meaning and affection.

Clear Your Mind

Of all the ways to simplify your life, this one is the most essential. If you take some time to sit quietly and watch your mind for a minute, you will notice it racing away over a multitude of subjects, from what you just ate for breakfast, your favorite third grade teacher, why the checker was so rude at the grocery yesterday, the meaning of life, and on and on and on. When the mind is so active, it becomes very difficult to be in the present moment.

During times of sickness or trauma, meditation is your best friend. Imagine being able to leave the feelings of your body for a few moments and escape to a place of beauty and inner peace. What a relief that is at difficult moments!

Also, in order for us to connect with our inner voice, so that we can make good decisions, our brain needs to be quiet. Ghandi wrote, "In the attitude of silence, the soul finds the path in a clearer light, and what is elusive and deceptive resolves itself into crystal clearness."

Meditation is a "practice", just like learning how to play an instrument. You can't just pick up a violin and make beautiful music. You need to play a little every day and be very consistent about it. As you first sit to meditate, you will notice your mind is racing, totally out of control. (There is an Indian saying that the mind is like a drunken monkey, stung by a scorpion!) You begin to bring it back to a mantra. It goes away again. You bring it back again. It goes away again for a long time, talking and talking. You bring it back to your calm center. It goes away again, etc… After daily practice for weeks, you will start to see progress. Your mind begins to become quiet for many minutes. You feel tremendous simplicity and rest at last. And now you are learning to play your inner violin. (If you have never meditated before and would like to start, please look in the Suggested Reading section of this book under Meditation for detailed instructions.)