Back Cover
A Mainstream Suspense Family Drama Novel by Pat Dale
Among the teeming throng of mankind, can anywhere be found a man who does not harbor a seed of evil within his soul? Battle weary, Army Sergeant Adam Watson retreats from Iraq to his Ozark home, suffering from PTSD and believing he’s seen the worst that man is capable of. Even as he seeks refuge, he finds that same evil in his own country, his own town, his own family—and in his own heart.
The Evil Within
by Pat Dale
Published by MuseItUp Publishing at Smashwords
ISBN: 978-1-927361-71-9
Copyright 2012 Pat Dale
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This book is dedicated to all our men and women
who have sacrificed their time and energy
in the service of our country.
Especially, we salute those who have suffered life-changing injury or death
to protect our way of life.
Chapter One
Blending into the dense foliage, he zeroed in on his target. Fat and furry, the big cottontail stopped foraging and looked his way. With his eagle vision locked on the prey, Adam’s finger tightened on the trigger.
Before he could squeeze off a round, raucous sounds and smells of battle echoed in his brain—cries from his buddies! The harsh metallic thump of an RPG slamming into the Bradley. Explosions! Agonizing screams! The acrid odor of gunfire, melting rubber, cooked flesh; the nauseating stink of death…
Beads of sweat dribbled into his eyes. He blinked, clearing them, and realized the rabbit’s eyes had changed.
Green. Advancing rapidly.
He wanted to fire, but frozen in panic, he couldn’t.
“Adam! Don’t shoot! It’s me,” a man’s voice cut through the static in his brain. He wiped sweat from his face and blinked again. No longer the rabbit he thought he’d targeted, his uncle approached with his arms up.
How the hell did he get here?
“Uncle Ernie? What are you doing out here?”
“Edward said you’d gone hunting, so I thought I’d join the fun. Like we used to do when you were growing up. Remember?”
“Damn it, Ern, you’re lucky I didn’t shoot you.”
“Tell me about it. I really thought you were gonna let me have it for a minute, there. Where the hell were you just now?”
“I’d rather not talk about that, if it’s all the same to you.”
“Whatever. Only, you remember the first rule I taught you when you were ten? Don’t point a weapon at a man unless you’re ready to kill him. If you aim at him, shoot.”
“Yeah. Well, the damn Army gave me a whole new set of rules, and that wasn’t the most important part of ‘em. Sorry, Ernie.”
“It’s okay, kid. I know what you’ve been going through.”
“You do? How could you?”
“’Nam. Remember, your dad and I was there with the same Army you’re in? I’ve had my own nightmares to live down. Only, the shit I got when I came home was a hell of a lot different than now.”
“I guess. Hard to tell, the way we get talked about in the news. Anyway, I don’t think I want to hunt today. Not anymore.”
Adam revisited the moment when he’d failed to shoot his prey. He’d never in his life been hesitant to take game when opportunity presented itself. Hunting with his dad and uncle had been his passion, back when, and all that time in Iraq had made his desire for the sport of hunting even greater. He’d thought so, anyway.
Talking to Ernie about it wouldn’t help. This was something the doctors had said he’d experience. He’d scoffed at them at the time, telling them he was fine, and nothing would happen.
What do fucking Army shrinks know about life in the Missouri Ozarks?
But something sure as hell had happened. He’d been certain he was staring at a terrorist and nearly shot his uncle. “Let’s go home, Ernie. I’ve had enough for today.”
“How many did you bag?”
“None.”
“You’re kidding. Out here?”
“Nothing here I wanted to shoot.”
“Except me.” Ernie laughed weakly.
“Not funny, Ern.”
“No, I guess it’s not, at that.”
Ernie had parked his old Suburban next to Adam’s Dodge. They headed back to town, Ernie in the lead, while Adam puzzled over his state of mind. Why the hell had he not taken game out here? And why the hell had he thought he was in battle again?
He was still puzzling when they sailed into Possum Run—all four blocks of it. The town’s name had been a source of laughter forever. Everybody knows possums don’t run, they waddle—slowly, at that—but some industrious soul had named it in the early eighteen hundreds, and the name had stuck. Once a thriving village of three hundred, it had become a behind-the-times respite for just under a hundred hardy folks. That was, if you counted every living breathing soul who lived half a mile either direction from town.
But scenic… Now that, it truly was, set into the side of Goggin Mountain in the eastern reaches of the Ozarks and overlooking Johnson Shut-ins just a mile and a quarter to the southeast. Not the least striking of local features were the outcroppings of humongous slabs of igneous rock a short distance north at Elephant Rocks State Park. Red granite and purple rhyolite, colorful evidence of the volcanic origins of the St. Francois Mountains, asserted themselves all over this gorgeous but isolated part of Missouri.
The scenic beauty and solid essence of these peaks and valleys had been Adam’s anchor while serving his country—something to hold on to when everything else went to hell in a hand-basket, probably the only reason he hadn’t gone mad when his team was ambushed and he’d been left alive, the sole survivor of his patrol. Because of his skill with long guns, he’d been trained as a sniper, but on that fateful day, sniper skills were of no use. Nor was anything else the Army had taught him.
Now he was home on medical leave since he’d been unable to shoulder a weapon after the horrific ambush. Even a promotion from sergeant to staff sergeant hadn’t helped him cope with the trauma.
Three weeks of his precious leave had gone by and he’d still not bagged a single rabbit or squirrel. Three weeks to go, and he’d have to make a decision that would affect the rest of his life.
Could I not go back?
He shuddered at the thought of making that choice.
“Adam? You look a thousand miles away. What’s wrong?”
He glanced at his dad, who’d just come out of the Good Eats Café, Possum Run’s miniscule culinary response to Cracker Barrel. “Hi, Dad. Just got back from hunting.” Adam saw the question on his face and added, “Didn’t find anything worth shooting.”
“Except maybe me,” Ernie said with a chuckle. He’d just rounded the fender of his vehicle and approached them. “Edward, this crazy galoot damn near shot me today.”
“Aw, Ernie, that’s not fair. I wasn’t going to shoot you. But maybe I should have, the way you sneaked up on me.”
“That’s fair enough.” Ernie turned back to Edward. “He’s right. I should have said something as I approached him. But he was shaking so hard aiming at me, he scared me.”
Edward scowled at Adam. “That right, son?”
“Some of it. Enough of it,” he snapped. “I’ve got issues, damn it.”
“Issues? What the hell did those fucking regimented shrinks do to you, boy?”
“It’s not their fault, Dad. They told me I’d have flashbacks. I didn’t believe them, but they were right. Ernie just got stuck in one of my episodes.”
Edward spit on the ground. “Issues, episodes—fuck! I hear they call it PTSD now. Used to call it shell shock or battle fatigue.”
“Post traumatic stress disorder? I heard them talking about that.”
“You and me just need to have us a good old-fashioned talk, boy. I went through this and so did Ernie, back when. We’ve been there, son, and I think we can do you as much good as anybody.”
“Maybe. I don’t know. What I do know is I’m hungry. How about you, Ernie?”
“No, you go on and get something. Your dad and I have to get back to the mill.”
Adam stopped at the door of the café, watching his dad and uncle argue their way to their vehicles. He knew he was the subject of the argument. He also knew that if he got in the middle of it, the whole damn thing would get out of control.
Them and their fiery damned Watson tempers.
Inside, he sat down at a corner table. Kelly Samples, latest dropout from Lesterville High and Good Eat’s new waitress, brought him a glass of water and a menu. “You’re Adam Watson, aren’t you?”
“Yep. That’s me. I must be famous, or something.”
The pretty redhead beamed. “Sure are. You’re a war hero to hear your daddy tell about it.”
“That’s a dad for you. I’m no hero, but I was in the war.”
Her cornflower blue eyes widened. “Did you kill a bunch of those animals?”
“A bunch? Yeah, I guess you could say that. I got my share of the bastards, not that it’s anything I want to brag about. I was just doing my duty.”
She grimaced. “That’s what Mr. Williams, our history teacher, said guys like you would tell us. Just doing your duty. That’s how he explained the government would justify invading a country and killing their citizens.”
“That’s what your teacher said?” He jammed a fist into his palm. “Maybe I should pay this Williams a visit. Do you believe him?”
Kelly laughed. “You kidding? That damn jerk couldn’t get his eyes off my boobs long enough to know what color my eyes are.”
He beamed at her ample bosom. “I can see why he might be distracted. Nice rack you’re sporting there.”
“Yeah, but not for public display, know what I mean?”
“I think so. That lecherous teacher the only reason you dropped out of school?”
“Not the only one. I could give you a dozen, all good. He’s the best of the bunch.”
“Could be, except what are you going to do with the rest of your life, Kelly?”
“What’s wrong with being a waitress?”
“In Possum Run? You’ve got to be kidding. You’ll never earn enough tip money in this town to feed yourself, much less make living expenses. Still live at home?”
“Kind of. I’m looking for a place of my own.”
“Can’t help you there, but good luck.”
“Thanks. Well, you want our special today?”
“Burger with all the fixings, drink, and fries for three ninety-five, right?”
“Yep. Same as yesterday. And the day before that. And probably next year.”
“I hear you. Why don’t you bring me the special, Kelly? Well-done.” He laughed along with her when she retrieved the well-worn menu and scampered off toward the kitchen with his order.
Her slightly bulging midsection gave him another hint why she might have dropped out of school. He had to wonder whether her history teacher had given her another kind of lesson. It wouldn’t be the first time a teacher had knocked a student up down in these parts. But it was none of his business, so he’d best keep his nose out of it.
Just as she brought his food, four skuzzy-looking men came into the café. All wore jeans smeared with grease, half-hidden in black cycle leathers and matching black leather vests over their sweatshirts—ugly, dirty, greasy, smelling like garlic.
One of them reached out as Kelly passed and slapped her butt. She jumped out of his way and raced into the kitchen. The men roared with laughter. The man who’d spanked her said, “Damn, that bitch is sure jumpy.”
The short fat one said, “Yeah. Maybe it’s your winning way with babes, Ramos.”
“I get what I want from them bitches,” he replied.
After his food was served, Adam tried to down it without getting pulled into the gross discussion of ‘babes and their assets.’ Kelly finally came back and approached the men, her eyes wide with fear. She stopped, just out of reach of the man who’d insulted her.
“You guys want a menu?”
“If you’re on it, babe,” jerk number one said with an evil leer.
“We only serve food in here. The bar’s next door, and they do burgers and beer, if that’s what you want.”
“If we wanted the damn bar, that’s where we’d be. Bring us the fucking menu.”
Adam watched Kelly retreat, wondering whether Jake Tully, the owner, would be able to protect her if these jerks got out of hand. Probably not, despite his size. When Jake came out and dropped menus in front of the men, they grunted but said nothing.
At six foot four, three hundred pounds and in pretty fair shape, Jake was not one who’d be taken lightly in a fight. Apparently, the creeps thought so, too. It was good they didn’t know Jake well enough to realize he hated fighting. He stood silently until the men had all given him their orders.
Adam ate slowly, timing it so the group had wolfed down their food and left before he finished. Only after they were gone and the roar of their bikes had diminished, did the girl come out to see if he needed anything else.
“Those guys scared you, didn’t they, Kelly?”
“Yeah. I don’t have a clue who they are, but I don’t trust them. We don’t get many strangers here and I sure didn’t like the looks of that bunch.”
“You can say that again. Probably a gang of bikers cruising down the road, looking for scenic wonders.”
“Well, I’m not a scenic wonder,” she asserted.
“Maybe not, but you really are damn pretty.”
She blushed. “Thanks. You want some pie and a coffee refill?”
“I’ll take the refill. No room for pie.”
After she poured the coffee, she said, “Sorry for what I said earlier.”
“What was that?”
“You know, repeating what that damn Williams said about soldiers.”
“Oh, no problem. I knew you didn’t agree with his assessment.”
“So, you out of the Army now?”
“Not quite.”
That raised her eyebrows. “You run away?”
“Nope. Nothing that simple. But in a way, I guess you could say I am running.”
“Really?” Her big bright eyes almost bugged out of her cute freckled face.
He groaned. “Not the way you think, Kelly. I was in a really bad battle. My buddies all got killed, and it kind of messed me up. I’m on a few weeks medical leave.”
“Then you have to go back to war?”
“Yep.”
“Wow! So you might get to kill more of those bastards.”
“Could be. Only we don’t think of most of them that way. Honestly, if folks at home could see what we do a good part of the time over there, they wouldn’t think that way, either. Most of the Iraqis are decent people. Problem is, there are lots of brutal animals hiding among them, and it’s almost impossible to tell them apart until they do something.”
“Do something?”
“Yeah, like shooting us while we’re helping their families rebuild their homes.”
“Oh!”
“Yeah. Not something a down-home backwoods Missouri country boy would know how to deal with. But we try not to kill innocent people, and sometimes holding back from that gets us killed. I wonder how your Mr. Williams would hold up under that kind of load.”
“Not very well. The goddamn son of a bitch can’t stand any kind of pressure as far as I can see. He—”
She cut off her words but he knew what they’d have been. He’d guessed right; the teacher had knocked her up. And she was right. Williams was a son of a bitch, a slimeball who’d take advantage of a young girl like Kelly and laugh about it to his friends.
“Enough said, Kelly. Look, you need help, you come to me. I’ll do what I can, and you don’t have to worry about me wanting anything in return. I’ve got family, but I wouldn’t mind having another ‘sis’ to look after around this place.”
She beamed again. When she smiled at him that way, she was damn near movie gorgeous. Another place, another time, and he’d have treated her as more than a sister, but this was not the time or the place. Just the same, he’d bonded with this girl, and it made him feel good he could do that.
What’s with me? I’m not looking for a girlfriend. Not here. Not now.
She asked, “You really meant that, didn’t you?”
He tamped down his confusion, saying, “Sure did. You need something, just ask.”
Chapter Two
Adam stepped out into the early autumn afternoon, shaking his head as he glanced up and down the street, wondering why this had seemed such a magical place when he was a kid. One café, one tavern, a post office built into the side of the combination hardware and dry goods store that had little left to merchandise.
Oh yes, and the tiny old church across the street between the closed-down medical office, where Possum Run had once supported a real doctor, and the barber-slash-beauty shop that still limped along two days a week. Add two—count ‘em—service stations, neither of which remained open, and you’d just listed the business district. The whole shebang.
But in his mind were the folks, real live images he could never forget. They were what made this home for him. Scattered over the mountainside were lots of homesteads, most of them hidden in the forested wonderland. Goggin Mountain had been named for a member of Adam’s family long before Missouri became an official state in 1821.
His dad’s lumber mill had been passed down through generations of that family, never changing its name even though a time had come when there were no male members of the Goggin clan. Son-in-law Evan Watson, Adam’s paternal grandfather, had taken over the mill, and his part of the family had run it ever since. If he chose to come home, the mill would become his responsibility since he was the oldest male in his generation.
He had a choice to make now—a big one. On one hand, there was the Army, where he’d gained enough rank and experience to become an instructor, probably stationed at Ft. Leonard Wood, deep in his beloved Ozarks. Of course, that would be after he’d returned to that middle-east hellhole to re-prove himself in battle. If he survived…
On the other hand was another choice, one nobody around here knew about. He’d been contacted by a representative of the St. Louis police department because an Army buddy had recommended him to them. His familiarity with assault techniques and unique sniping skills had made his kind a hot commodity with urban law enforcement agencies.
Of course, back here there was Possum Run and Goggin Sawmill. He had a faint memory of his great uncle, Gentry Goggin, the last member of the Goggin family to run the mill. When son-less Gentry had defamed himself by abandoning his family and running off with that generation’s equivalent of Kelly Samples, the Watsons had taken over, starting with Evan. He’d been too old to run the place for long, so his son Edward, Adam’s dad and the eldest of the next generation, had become the man in charge.
And so it had gone. Would Adam live up to his family’s expectations? He didn’t know that he would, but his hesitance wouldn’t hold them back from grooming him if he stayed here. In fact, the prospect had been part of his zeal for getting home from war in the first place.
Go home! Learn to run the mill! Live happily ever after!
Yeah, right. Fuck…
Adam followed long Watson tradition and spat on the ground, then ground the spittle under his hunting boot. So much for zeal.
“Hey, Adam! Come on in and cool your heels for a spell, man.”
He looked toward the tavern to see his old schoolmate Henry Patton waving at him. “Hi, Hank. You still got that fancy red felt pool table in there?”
“You betcha. Had to keep some assholes from ripping it up not an hour ago.”
“Let me guess, four bikers that looked like rejects from the Hell’s Angels?”
“Yeah. You tangle with ‘em too?”
“Naw. They came into the café and gave Kelly a hard time. Thought I might have to remind them how gentlemen behave, but they shut up, ate their food, and rode off. You get that kind of traffic very often?”
“Nope. Never saw those jerks before. Probably never see ‘em again, either.”
“We can hope for that. I didn’t like the way they eyeballed Kelly.”
“What’s goin’ on, man? You sweet on little ol’ Kelly Samples?”
“Little? I don’t think so.” Adam chuckled. “But nothing like what you’re probably thinking. I like her, and she needs a friend, near as I can tell. Sweet, naïve kid, and damn pretty, too. That’s a combo that’ll get her into trouble if she’s not careful.”
“You got that right. So, ya wanna smash some eight-ball?”
“Another time, Hank. I’ve got to get home. I think dad wants to have a serious talk with me.”
Hank snorted. “Birds and bees? So you are kind of serious about her.”
“Damn it, man, not about Kelly. Dad and Ernie were in the Army in Vietnam, and they think they know what I’ve been going through. My guess is they want to share some of what they wouldn’t tell anyone when they came home from war.”
“Oh. That’s some serious shit.”
“Yep. Look, I’ll come in and play you a game or three later in the week. Ready to get your butt beat again?”
“Oh wow. I’m really scared of that happening. As I remember, you never beat me in your life. Maybe the Army’s taught you how to do that, too.”
“Naw. I just have more confidence than I used to. We’ll see.”
“Yes, we will. And if you beat me once or twice, that won’t be so bad. See you around, Adam. Take care, man.” They parted after rapping knuckles together.
* * * *
Adam climbed into his truck, smiling at his recollection of times past. Maybe it would be good to get back here where he belonged. Time would tell. He slammed into gear and headed around the mountain toward home. Dust swirled up, a rooster tail behind him as he flew down the gravel road, swerving from time to time to avoid little dips and bumps that had been forged into a permanent slalom course on this long-traveled road.
Just like the people. Peaks and valleys, but all of like origin. And that’s what I’m made of, just like my dad and his dad. That’s why living here should be my first choice.
Edward was sitting on the porch when he pulled up in the drive. He got to his feet and smiled. “Howdy, Son. You always go that fast down this road?”
“Don’t know about fast. I was just thinking about things. What makes you think I was going fast?”
“I could tell by the dust storm rolling along behind you. We can always tell if our visitors are upset before they get to the house. Little dust, they’re happy. Big storm cloud, they’re mad as hell. Nothing in between.” He laughed at Adam’s surprised expression.
“Ozark philosophy, huh? Makes sense.”
“Thought it might. So what’re you angry about?”
“I’m not angry.”
“Well, not in so many words. But something has you riled up.”
He chuckled. “Now you’re guessing. Saw Hank in town. He wanted me to come in so he could beat my butt at the pool table again.”
“That pissed you off?”
“Naw. Made me laugh. I think I can beat him now. We had a pool table in our day room, and I got a lot of practice in. But don’t let on if you see him. This is going to be a long-awaited sneak attack.”
Edward laughed. “’Bout time, too. Hank’s a good guy but cocky. That boy’s cocky as hell.”
“Dad, you said earlier we need a good old-fashioned talk. I think I’m ready for it now, if you’re still of a mind.”
“That I am, Adam. That I am. You know I love you. And your mama loved you, too. Makes me want to cry, she isn’t here to welcome you home.”
“Me, too, Dad. I miss Mom something awful.”
“Yeah, we all do. And I’m sure she’s up there in heaven smiling down on you right now, as we speak.”
“I’m not so sure she’s smiling, but it makes me feel good to think so.”
Edward went back to his favorite rocking chair on the porch and pointed to the one next to him. “Sit, and we’ll talk for a spell. Sarah’s fixing dinner, but I reckon it’ll be a while before its ready.”
“That’s okay. I had a burger at the café, and I’m not hungry right now, anyhow.”
“Son, you know your Uncle Ernie and I were in the Army back in the sixties. We got sent to ‘Nam. At the same time in the same unit, but we were in different patrols.”
“Yes sir, I knew that.”
“Well, what you didn’t know and still don’t is, both of us got shot up in one battle. Shot up real bad. They thought neither of us would make it home alive. We were ambushed, something like what happened to you.”
“You’re right. I didn’t know that. You guys get purple hearts?”
“Yep. Mine’s in the bottom of my sock drawer. Don’t know where Ernie keeps his, but he’s got it. Funny, I always thought it would be neat to have one of those things. Figured I’d wear it on my chest and be proud of it. Not that I’m ashamed. But after what happened, I mostly wanted to forget why I got the damn thing in the first place. Know what I mean?”
“I sure as hell do. Dad, all I can think about when I look at that thing of mine is how my buddies got blown to hell. And how I’m still alive. I feel guilty as sin.”
“That’s what I figured. You’re alive and they’re dead, and it’s not fair. That about it? That and the fact you didn’t blow every son of a scum to hell getting even?”
“You got it. I didn’t say anything because I figured nobody would understand.”
“Can’t blame you for that, boy. Can’t blame you for that. But what we got to talk about is, you did come home. Alive. And you’re safe. Your buds are up there somewhere, too, like your mom, smiling down on us. There wasn’t a damn thing you could do to save them, so they don’t blame you at all. If you could have, you’d-a died over there getting even for them. Maybe died in their place if you could’ve.
“One good reason they sent you home, son. Revenge is not the Army way, at least not on a personal basis. Makes for some good battlefield heroism, but doesn’t get the job done in the larger picture.”
“So, what are you getting at?”
“If you go back, you got to put that shit behind you and act like it never happened; like you’re there for the first time. Otherwise, you’ll come back in a body bag in a few weeks. They know it and I know it, and it’s high time you got around to dealing with it.
“I’m not saying don’t go back, boy. Just that, if you do, I want you there for the right reasons, and not for revenge. You okay with that?”
“Damn straight. I know I can’t go back for revenge, Dad. The only thing I can do is keep up the good fight for God and country.” He paused. “Crap! That sounds like some kind of corny recruiting bullshit.”
Edward laughed. “You got that right. But corny or not, it’s on the mark. Now, speaking of on the mark, I want to talk to you about something else.
“If you’re going back over there, I’ll need to begin grooming your brother to take over the mill. I’d always figured we’d follow tradition and put you in charge. Now don’t go thinking I want to push you out of the way. You’re the oldest, and rightfully deserve to become the boss.”
“Dad, I don’t think I want to talk about mill business right now.”
“I know, but I’ve got to make a decision and it can’t wait much longer. I’m getting older, whether you’ve noticed or not, and with my game leg, I can’t hold off too long. The lumber business is pretty doggone complex. Takes some time to learn what we have to do to compete with the big boys out west and down south. So far, our Ozark lumber’s been doing pretty well, but that could change. Can’t let up for a minute, let alone a year or two. We have to be ready.”
“I understand. Well, I should be able to make my decision in the next few weeks on going back. That soon enough for you?”
“Yep. Plenty soon. I just wanted you to know we understand what you’re going through. And we’ll back you, whatever you decide.”
The sudden absence of sound startled Adam. When he’d come up to the house, he hadn’t even noticed the constant whine from the sawmill, located a half mile down the road. Thinking back, he realized it was a sound he’d grown up with. The whine of saw blades, the blast of trucks backfiring, the crack of hunters shooting at game, all echoed through the erosion-carved natural hollow the Watsons had built this home in. “Must be quitting time at the mill.”
“Yep. Five on the dot. Start up at seven and quit at five, been doing it for longer than I’ve been alive.”
He smiled. “That’s downright poetic.”
“Yep.”
The not-so-poetic sound of motorcycles interrupted their moment of peace. As he and Edward watched, four bikers roared past, kicking up gravel and dust. The same four from the café, he noted.
“Wonder what the hell they’re doing way out here?”
“They were in the café while I was there. Probably lost and looking for a highway to take them back to civilization.”
“Well, they won’t find it that way. Road dead-ends just beyond the mill. Reckon some of the boys’ll set ‘em straight on that. Hold your ears, son. They’ll be roaring back by here any time, now.”
“I hope.”
“You have trouble with ‘em?”
“Not me. Kelly Samples.”
“The new girl down to the café? Hell, she’s too damn young to get into trouble with creeps like that.”
“Maybe not as young as you think, Dad, but I didn’t mean it that way. They were kind of gross the way they talked to her and around her. One of them slapped her on the butt. Scared the hell out of her. I kept my mouth shut, but it wasn’t easy.”
“Just as well. Those guys look like they’d be pretty tough to handle.”
“Came down to it, I could hold my own with the likes of them,” he muttered.
“I’ll just bet you could, Adam. I’ll just bet you could.”
His dad had been right. The angry growl of speeding bikes increased to a constant roar as the bikers flew back down the road, hopefully searching for the rest of their lives. Away from God’s country. Sarah came out and flopped into the big chain swing.
“You guys hungry yet? I’ve got dinner about ready to serve.”
“Getting that way, Sarah,” Adam said, smiling at her as the first in a regular parade of pickup trucks rolled past, carrying workers home for the night.
“Saul should be home from the mill any time now.” Edward got up and went inside as Adam smiled at his younger brother’s name and dropped back into his chair.
“It’s good to be home, Sis. I probably haven’t been fit company since I got back. Hope I didn’t hurt your feelings.”
“Nope. With Robert serving, I think I understand your need to keep to yourself. Does your talking this way now mean you’re over whatever it was that got to you?”
“I wouldn’t say it got to me, exactly. But to answer your question, no. I’m not over it, and I’m not sure I will be for a long time. I am getting past it, and that’s more important. Dealing with the loss of my buddies will take a long time.”
“I’m sorry that happened to you, but I’m glad you’re okay. I worry about Robert a lot, but at least he’s on an aircraft carrier with thousands of other sailors. They’re not too likely to be attacked out there in the open sea.”
“I hope to hell not, but there are plenty of risks out there, too. Does he say if he enjoys what he’s doing?”
“Yep. He’s decided to make a career of it. Says I can join him when he returns this time. We’ll live in Virginia, near his station.”
“Then you’re leaving Possum Run?”
Sarah groaned. “I hadn’t thought of it that way, but I suppose so. Can’t be in two places at once, can I?”
“Nope. Dad know you’re going?”
“Not yet. Please don’t say anything until I figure out how to break it to him. He’s so dependent on me around here, I know I’ll feel guilty.”
“You don’t have to worry about my saying anything. I like to keep out of other folks’ business. Makes for a quieter life.”
“Some quieter life you had in Iraq.”
“I mean here at home. Main reason I came back other than seeing folks I love, like you, for instance. I need peace. I figure Possum Run is about as peaceful as I’ll ever find anywhere.”
“Peaceful. Dull. Isolated…”
“I thought you liked it here, Sarah.”
“I do. I’m just, well—”
“Bored?”
“Yeah, you could say that. Try frustrated.”
Edward stuck his head out the door. “Sarah, Ernie just called and they’re thinking about coming over. You cook enough for four more mouths?”
“Sure did. I had a hunch the whole fam-damly would drop in on us. Been cooking extra for weeks, now. That’s why I always have those yummy leftovers in the fridge.”
Adam headed inside to wash up for dinner, something his mother had instilled in him as a child. Edward had already done his cleanup and waited on the porch for the rest of the family.
Within fifteen minutes they were all sitting at the rustic old dinner table. Ernie, his wife Nadine, and nineteen-year-old twin daughters Ellie and Barbie sat along one side, with Sarah, Saul, and Adam on the other. Edward sat at his usual spot at the head of the table, with an empty place set at the other end. Alice had died a year ago, but they still honored her at the table each meal. It was the Watson way.
Before the food was passed, Edward asked, “Can we bow our heads and pray? Dear Heavenly Father, thank you for another wonderful day on this earth. We ask that you continue to watch over each of us at this table, and over Robert while he’s at sea. We thank you for bringing Adam back to us. Give Alice our love, Lord, and help her to keep watch over us as well. Bless this food to our use in Jesus’ name, Amen.”
That was also the Watson way, at least here at home. Out among strangers, they made no public show of their faith other than attending church. Adam had kept his faith, although it had often been strongly tested in battle. Especially on the day of the ambush.
His favorite chaplain had talked to him, prayed with him, and worried over his extreme battle fatigue. The shrinks avoided talk of religion, altogether, probably because they could not put faith in a god who let such horrible things happen to good men. Adam had come to the conclusion that it was up to men how they got themselves into and out of situations. God didn’t do it to them or keep them out of it; they did it to themselves and each other.
Ernie finally broke the silence after they’d been eating for a quarter hour. “Sarah, honey, you’ve outdone yourself today. This chicken’s the best I ever had.”
Nadine perked up. “The best you ever had? You mean the best today, don’t you? Honey girl, this is wonderful stuff, but this ol’ goat loves food so much, he couldn’t tell one day’s best from the last.”
“Go on, wife. Mess up my attempt to compliment Sarah on her cooking, huh? I stand by my words.”
Saul chimed in, “Yeah, Sis. This is great!”
To which everybody nodded in agreement. Sarah shrugged, saying, “Thank you all for the compliments. I suppose that means I haven’t lost my job as chief cook and bottle washer around here.”
Edward grinned. “Best doggone cook and bottle washer ever, sweetheart.”
“Well, I’m glad you appreciate my skills while I’m still here.”
Edward’s face sobered. “Still here? What do you mean by that, Sarah?”
Her face colored. “Oh, nothing much. Just a manner of speech.”
“I hope you’re not planning to run away or anything like that.”
“No. But there will be a day when Robert comes back, and I’ll want to live with him.”
Ernie asked, “How is he doing? Ready to get out of the Navy yet?”
She shook her head. “No. He’s planning to make it a career. Their carrier group is scheduled to rotate back to the states around Christmas.” After hesitating, she added, “He wants me to come live with him in Norfolk when they come home.”
Edward growled. “First time you mentioned this to me, Sarah.”
Her flaming face turned beet-red. “I just got the letter from him yesterday. I wanted to tell you right away, but you’ve been busy worrying over Adam so much, I didn’t want to bother you.”
“Bother me? Daughter, this bothers me a hell of a lot more than interrupting my concern for Adam.”
Adam, who’d kept silent, could see this conversation was going downhill rapidly. More evidence of the Watson family temper rearing its ugly head. “Dad? Take it easy, will you? Sarah didn’t do anything wrong here.”
“No, I guess she didn’t. I’d like to have known her plans, that’s all.”
“She doesn’t have any plans yet, near as I can tell.” Adam turned to his sister. “Do you, Sis?”
“Not yet.” Her face was still red, but her eyes had hardened. “I didn’t know it was a problem for a grown woman to want to live with her husband. As I recall, that’s what Mom did for you, Dad.”
“Now don’t you go bringing your dear sweet mother into this argument, Daughter!” Edward jumped to his feet and limped out of the room, grumbling to himself.
The rest of the family sat in embarrassed silence. Finally, Adam said, “I’m sorry for Dad, folks. I think it’s my fault he’s this way right now.”
Nadine asked, “Why would his temper be your fault, boy?”
“I’ve let him down by not agreeing to stay home and learn how to run the mill.” His face morphed into a flaming mask as he locked focus with his uncle. “With your help, of course, Uncle Ernie.”
Ernie, who had less of the temper than his older brother, smiled. “No problem, Adam. I know what you mean. And you’re right; he’s bound and determined to train you on the job, soon as you’re free of the Army.”
Saul got to his feet. “I need a smoke.” The others watched him stomp out of the dining room and onto the porch, where he pulled a cigarette from his pocket and lit it.
Ellie, along with her twin, a younger carbon copy of their brunette mother, said, “I didn’t know Saul smokes. Did you guys?”
Barbie giggled. “I did. He offered me one the other day.”
Her dad glared at her. “Did you take it?”
“No. I don’t smoke. But I thought it was nice for him to offer.”
Nadine spoke up, “Nice? To offer a filthy thing like that? Maybe I haven’t done as good a job raising my girls to be ladies as I thought.”
Adam decided it was time to bring this meal to a conclusion. “Hey, everybody, let’s cool it before we’re all at each other’s throats. Sarah, I don’t suppose you’ve slaved over the oven with a special dessert, have you?”
“Well, sure I have, as you probably knew. Apple pie, anyone?”
Everyone but Nadine nodded their enthusiastic agreement. Adam said, “I’ll go out and see if Saul wants some.”
He stepped out onto the porch where Saul was puffing at the last inch of his cigarette. “Want some apple pie, Saul?”
“Nah. Too sweet for me.”
Adam noted the sour look on his face. “You looking sour like that over the pie?”
“I guess.”
“Something stuck in your craw, Saul, now’s a good time to get it out.”
The young man, so much like Adam in appearance, but so different in temperament, snarled, “It’s nothing I can’t handle on my own. I’m not a kid anymore.”
“No, you’re not. I know you want to run the mill, and I don’t blame you. Coming back here to please dad isn’t high on my agenda. But don’t take it out on me if I do.”
“Who the hell should I take it out on?”
“Nobody says you have to take it out on anyone. For God’s sake, Saul, I don’t see why we can’t develop a partnership like dad and Ernie have, if it comes to that.”
“What do you mean, if it comes to that?”
“I haven’t decided whether to stay in the Army yet. If I do, the mill is yours to run and no argument, no hurt feelings.”
Saul stubbed out the butt on the banister, dropping it onto the ground below. “Oh. I hadn’t thought of that.”
“I didn’t think so. Now, still think Sarah’s apple pie is too sweet?”
He grinned. “Naw. Actually, it sounds pretty good. Sorry I got in a huff, Bro.”
“Bro?” Adam laughed. “I haven’t been called that since I left that hellhole in Iraq. Sounds good though, coming from my real bro.” He slapped Saul on the back and held the door for him.
After Ernie’s family had gone home, Adam and Saul helped Sarah with the dishes. The meal ended on a friendly note, much to Adam’s relief. Keeping this family in a good mood was a full time job in itself, especially since none of them was particularly inclined to good moods. He noted that his dad and his brother seemed to have more of the famous Watson temper than he or Sarah, although there were times she could be a handful, too.
When he went back onto the porch, wearing his jeans jacket to ward off the autumn chill, Sarah was sitting in the swing, crying. “Sarah, what’s wrong?”
She wiped her eyes with the back of her hand. “I wish dad would realize I belong to my husband now. I don’t mind cooking for him, and I’ve been happy doing the books for the mill. But when Robert wants me with him, I’m going. In a heartbeat, I’m going. I have my own life to live.”
“Yes, you do. Do you guys want to have kids?”
She sobbed again. “Yes. Oh God, yes! If I can have them, I want a dozen.”
He chuckled. “Might want to consider what it would cost to feed that many.”
“That was just a figure of speech. But Robert and I do want our own family.”
“I do, too. If I ever find a woman who’ll have me.”
She frowned at him. “Who’ll have you? Good gosh, Adam, any woman in her right mind would jump at the chance to have a man like you for their husband.”
“You think?”
“I know.” She got up and put her hand on his shoulder. “If you and I weren’t brother and sister, I’d have done anything to attract your attention. I mean anything.”
He pulled her into his arms and hugged her. “Thanks for telling me that, Sis. I think you’re pretty special, too.” She gave him a solid kiss on the lips and pulled away.
Face flushed from the romantic manner of her kiss, she said, “I think I’d better get ready for bed, now. Morning comes early around here, if you hadn’t noticed.”
He nodded. “I’m used to early. When I was stationed in Baghdad, we got up about four. Took a while to get into full battle gear.”
She’d started for the door, but stopped and turned toward him. “You ever want to talk about what happened over there, I’d be willing to hear you out.”
He said, “I won’t. But if I talked it out with anyone, it would be you, Sarah.”
“The offer stands, okay?”
“Okay. Good night, Sis.”
He watched her disappear inside, then turned to stare for long moments at the black hillside across the road, blurry from tears that escaped his eyes—tears that had refused to flow for months, ever since that black day in Iraq. When his body convulsed into full-blown sobs, he dropped onto the swing and let go.
Chapter Three
The smell of bacon stirred Adam from his troubled sleep. He opened his eyes to the semi-darkness of early morning, aware that Sarah hadn’t been kidding. His first instinct was to get into hunting clothes, grab his gun, and head for the woods.
The haunting memory of what had happened yesterday dropped the anchor on that. In the three weeks he’d been home, he had yet to bring down a single bird, rabbit, or squirrel. Deer season was too far away to get excited about, and anyway, he wasn’t sure he’d pull the trigger on one of them, either. Something had changed.
He knew it was he who’d come home different than when he left. Different wasn’t a problem, if he could only figure out the why of it. The corners of his mind closed in every time he tried to make sense of it.
Not getting any help there.
“Adam?” Sarah’s voice, like a shower of cold water, brought him fully awake.
“Yeah, Sis?”
“I wondered if you’re awake yet. I’ve got eggs and bacon ready if you’re hungry.”
“Sounds good. I’ll be right down.” He waited until the sound of her shuffling feet had dissipated before going to the antique chifferobe to pull out a sweatshirt and jeans. With no agenda, hidden or otherwise, he had no need for dress-up clothing today, or any day. He stared at his dress uniform for a few seconds before closing the chifferobe door.
Would he wear that again? Or would he stay home and learn the lumber mill business like his dad wanted? That would make Edward happy, but it sure wouldn’t sit well with Saul. Maybe he should go to St. Louis and take their offer. What the hell. He was a long-time Cardinal fan, and it would be fun to go to some of their games. But could he even aim a gun at felons?
Brushing the nagging uncertainty from his mind, he climbed into his jeans and yanked the sweatshirt over his head. Time for a new day…and another one of Sarah’s fantastic breakfasts.
Sarah looked across the table and smiled at Adam. “I’ll be away from the house for most of today. This is payroll day at the mill and I have to go to Ellington to get the money. Want to go with me?”
“Still paying in cash, huh? Makes sense, I guess. Most of the workers don’t even have bank accounts to deposit a check if you gave one to them. Just the same, it doesn’t sound exactly safe for you to bring back all that cash every… what? Month? Two weeks?”
“Every week. We pay on Fridays.”
“And every mother’s son in the valley knows you do that. Dad or Ernie should be doing this, Sarah.”
“They’ve got plenty to do already, Adam. Besides, I’m the bookkeeper, now that mom is gone.”
“What’ll happen with that when you go live with Robert?”
“I don’t know. It worries me a little. Maybe I should listen to dad and just wait here for Robert to get the Navy out of his system.”
He shook his head. “That makes no sense. He’s a grown man, and you said yourself, the Navy is his life. You’re his wife and you belong with him. Especially if you’re going to have kids. Long-distance romance is kind of tough on the heart, I’d think.”
“Hard on other parts of the body, too,” she said with a grimace.
He blushed, knowing what she was getting at. “I didn’t want to say that.”
“I know, but it’s true. Waiting onshore for months at a time can be frustrating.”
“The question is, if you were sitting in a house in Virginia around a bunch of handsome sailors while you waited those months, would that make it any easier?”
She cackled. “No. Maybe worse.”
“I don’t get it.”
“All those so-called handsome horny sailors flitting around me every time I left the house to shop. It’s something a girl would have to think about.”
“And there are no handsome men flitting around Possum Run?”
She guffawed. “You kidding? Ever look at the guys around here? I mean, really get a good look at them? Yuck!”
He laughed. “So, you’re the lucky one that got the last great handsome hero from Possum Run. Robert Reynolds. He is a good-looking guy, Sis. And with a name like that, he could have been a movie star.”
“He could have. Other than he’s so shy, he’d mess up his lines bad enough they’d pay him just to leave Hollywood.”
“Not exactly a poet with the words, eh?”
“Not exactly, but he has other qualities.” She beamed, her voice musical as she added, “It’s fun talking to you again. You always were the one around here who made me laugh. And smile. Until I met Robert, you were the man in my life, Adam.”
His face turned serious. “That’s not something you should say around others, Sis. They might misinterpret what you mean.”
“Well, let them. You know what I mean. You were always the big brother I could count on to make things better. Or funnier. Or make them mean something.”
“And you were always my gorgeous little sister, the shining star in my life, Sarah. I remember the first date you went out on, I wanted to ride shotgun…literally. That kid didn’t know how lucky he was I didn’t take him behind the school and beat the tar out of him. You didn’t know that, did you?”
“No, I didn’t. But I sensed that you’d never let anything happen to me.”
“I wouldn’t then. I still wouldn’t now. And for what it’s worth, I think you should go to your man as soon as he gets back. Don’t worry about all those handsome sailors. You love Robert enough, you won’t even notice them.”
She’d gotten up and come around the table. Putting her hand on his shoulder, she leaned down and kissed him on the cheek. “Thanks for helping me think this out. I love you, too, you know.”
“I know. And I love you, Sis.”
Further conversation was interrupted by Edward, followed closely by Saul, as they came down for breakfast. Adam, who’d wolfed down the last of his food, got up and went out on the porch to watch the sun rise over the smooth, round mountaintops that stood sentry duty around Johnson Shut-ins.
* * * *
When Sarah came out to go to the mill, Adam offered to drive her. She accepted, clearly happy to have his company. Explaining that she had to do a little bookwork before going to the bank, she went inside while he wandered through the busy mill. After dodging flying wood chips and holding his ears against the deafening whine, he watched those “ugly” men of Possum Run do their jobs.
He chuckled at Sarah’s negative assessment of these folk. Actually, it was a pretty handsome bunch of guys that kept the place going. Most of them would be deemed ugly only in comparison to her husband, the all-time heart throb of Lesterville High.
After an hour and two cups of the absolute worst coffee he’d ever swilled, Sarah came out with her briefcase. “Let’s go, Adam, unless you can’t tear yourself away from this quiet place.”
“Quiet, yeah. After your eardrums give up the ghost. I forgot I’d need earplugs.”
She said, “Sorry. We had some in the office. I should have offered them to you.”
“No problem. I could have come in there, but I knew dad would feel he had to entertain me if I did.”
“I don’t think so. He’s all business at the mill.”
“By the way, who makes the coffee here?”
She let out a cackle. “That would be Ernie. Why? Too strong for you?”
He grinned. “You could say that. If I’m going to work in this place, I’ll have to get here first, or that stuff will put me in the ground in about a month.”
“Could be. Anyway, let’s head for the bank. I want to get this done, and then, if you want company, we can do anything you’d like.”
Realizing she’d just invited herself into his day, he smiled. It was not a bad prospect. Much better than what he’d envisioned—another day with nobody to share it with or talk to. Or distract him from his malaise. “That sounds like an offer I can’t refuse. I’d be crazy to, anyway. Let’s go.”
* * * *
When they rolled through Possum Run, Adam saw Big Jake and Kelly standing outside the door of the café and waved to them. He’d forgotten his scheme to get help for the girl, but seeing her now reminded him. He glanced across at Sarah.
“You know Kelly Samples?”
“You mean the girl with Jake back there?”
“Um-hum.”
“Not really. I knew she was waitressing at the café, but I don’t know her.”
“I just met her yesterday. I’d heard talk around, but she seems pretty nice to me.”
“Isn’t she a little young for you, Adam?”
He blushed. “I don’t mean that kind of nice. Talking to her made me feel a lot like when I talk to you. Kind of protective. And she’s smart, too.”
“And then some, if rumors are true.”
He realized his sister had heard more than she’d let on. “They’re true. But not in the way folks are talking. One of her teachers knocked her up.”
“She tell you that?”
“Not in so many words, sis. I just have a sense for that kind of stuff.”
“Yuck! You’ve got to be kidding. She screwed one of those old farts at school and got pregnant? My God, what was she thinking?”
“Not one of the old ones, Sarah. Think about it. If you could choose one good-looking man not that much too old for you among the teaching staff, who would it be?”
She stared at him. “You mean Mr. Williams?”
“The one and only. Young. Handsome as the devil. Full of himself. Bastard.”
“Adam! You really care about this girl, don’t you?”
“Not romantically, I think, but yes, I care about her. Just like I’d have cared about you if you’d ever found yourself in that condition.”
“Not that I ever would have let a teacher—any teacher, handsome or not—get me in bed with him. But I understand. So, how do you think you can help her?”
“I’m not sure. I sure as hell can’t go to him and demand that he marry her. He just got married before school started, apparently about the same time he diddled Kelly.”
“Good Lord. If Robert had done that with me, it would positively be the last time he got it up for anyone. Ever. Yuck!”
“You say yuck a lot.”
“Not unless it’s really yucky.”
He grinned. “Back to Kelly. I’ve been thinking of a way to get her some support and ease your situation at the same time.”
Her eyes widened. “How does what happens with that girl affect me?”
“Look, Sarah, you feel an obligation to dad and the mill. But you feel a greater one to your husband. You need to leave this place in a few months, and you’re sure as hell going to feel guilty when that time comes.”
“So?”
“So, Kelly needs a caring family, with men who can protect her, and a place to call her own when the baby comes. She’s smart, and as far as I can tell, clean and neat. What would happen if the Watsons unofficially adopted her? She could cook and keep the house going, and I’ll bet she’s smart enough to do the mill’s books, too.”
“You want me to become her teacher?”
“After a fashion, yes. Is that so unthinkable?”
They’d just pulled into the bank parking lot. She opened the door and slid out, looking back at him. “Let me think about it while I get the cash. Be right back.”
“I’m not going anywhere.”
As he waited for Sarah, two men came up the walk and entered the bank. He wouldn’t have noticed them, except for the way they stared at a woman who’d just exited the bank. It hit him where he’d seen them.