The Wedding Guide For Your Perfect Wedding
Published by Dee Phillips at Smashwords
Copyright 2012 Dee Phillips
Smashwords Edition, License Notes.
This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this ebook with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you’re reading this ebook and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to Smashwords.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.
The Wedding Guide for Your Perfect Wedding
Wow! The day has come that you have found your perfect man, someone you want to share the rest of life with. You are both so in love…and now you’re engaged! You have dreamed of this moment and now your dreams have come true and it is time to get organized and plan your perfect wedding. Your perfect wedding is not like anyone else’s. It is personal to you. Your perfect wedding may consist of ribbons, lace and bows, or a down-to-earth country-backyard wedding. If doesn’t matter. But the way to end up with the wedding you are dreaming of is all in the planning.
This wedding planner is intended to help you plan the essential elements in the count down to the big event—your wedding day. If you are organized and plan everything accordingly, there is no reason your wedding cannot be as special as you always dreamed it would be.
Let’s get started!!
INDEX:
1. Wedding Timeline
2. Set the Date
3. Who Pays For What?
4. Decide on a Budget
5. Decide on a Wedding Theme - What Type of Ceremony Do You Want?
6. Do You Need a Wedding or Event Planner?
7. Bridesmaids, Maid of Honor, Best Man and Groomsmen
8. Flower Girl and Ring Bearer
9. Guest List
10. Location
11. Caterers
12. Color Scheme
13. Wedding Stationary - Invitations
14. Musicians
15. Florist
16. Photographer
17. Hotels
18. Cake
19. Cars and Transportation
20. Gift Registry
21. Your Wedding Dress
22. Bridesmaid Dresses and Tuxes
23. Rings
24. Pre-Marriage Courses
25. Honeymoon Planning
26. Wedding Favors
27. Going Away Costumes
28. Marriage Documents
29. Gifts for Wedding Party Attendants
30. Speeches
31. Guest Book
32. Seating Arrangements
33. Thank You Cards
Wedding Timeline
The following gives you an idea of things you should do in preparation for your wedding day, and an approximate timeline to follow:
One Year Before Your Wedding
* First things first, set the special date and arrange a time with the priest, minister or registrar.
* Discuss in full detail your plans with the person who will be performing the ceremony.
* Decide on a budget and stick to it.
* Meet with both sets of parents to go over the wedding details. Remember to suit the ceremony to your budget, and to both your personal tastes and wishes. Talk it all out now! Decide on who will pay for what.
* Decide on the type of ceremony, type of reception and hoe many guests will attend.
* Choose your venue (place of the church and wedding reception) and arrange a meeting with the people in charge.
* Meet with the people to arrange for r hotels, caterers, musicians (for the ceremony, the reception) etc.
* Plan your wedding cake, cars, photographer and florist.
* Think about wedding clothes and going-away outfits, particularly your bridal dress, colors, fabrics and accessories. Remember you will probably want a color scheme and a style that carries throughout the day so talk your plans through with your dressmaker, florist and caterer.
* Both of you should book in for a pre-marriage course.
* Start thinking about your honeymoon-where you want to go, if anywhere.
Six Months Before The Wedding
*Order wedding stationery, cake boxes, and favors.
* Discuss the order of the service with the person performing the ceremony and decide on service sheets for guests.
* Discuss your wedding menu with your caterers and/or hotel.
* Decide on a wedding present list and arrange with stores.
* Choose the rings.
* A doctor and dentist check up is a good idea.
* Plan inoculations for your honeymoon if necessary.
* Organize visas, passports etc.
* Think about your ‘going away’ attire and clothes for your honeymoon
Three Months Before The Wedding
* Make sure you have all the appropriate pre-marriage documents and certificates.
* Finalize details of your color scheme, bouquets, boutonnieres, table decorations, etc. with the florist.
* Finalize the wedding guest list and have the invitations sent. Remember to keep a careful track of replies.
* Choose gifts for the best man, Bridesmaids and attendants.
* Arrange accommodation for attendants and advise traveling guests of the rates for your hotel.
A Month Before The Wedding
* Organize the final fittings for your dress and for the Bridesmaids.
* On the day of your final fittings make sure all the Bridesmaids are wearing the same shoes that they intend to wear on the big day.
* Finalize fittings for the Groom, best man and/or Ushers.
* Have a hair and make-up rehearsal. On the day of the hair and make-up rehearsal remember to bring the head-dress with you for the expert’s opinion.
* Finalize seating arrangements for the church and wedding reception.
* Plan the wedding rehearsal with the priest, minister or registrar.
* Eat properly for the next few weeks; you will need all your energy with all the running around you will be doing.
Two Weeks Before The Wedding
* Arrange your honeymoon and going away clothes, including passports, tickets and visas.
* Now is the time to arrange travelers’ cheques, insurance, car hire and all other documentation.
* Give advice to the hotelier and caterers of the approximate number of quests for the reception.
* Plan the table setting, place cards and linen etc.
* Finalize details with the florist, photographer and caterers.
* Try all your wedding clothes on and make sure all fits correctly and all is comfortable.
One Week Before The Wedding
* Have the wedding rehearsal.
* Nominate someone to look after the wedding dress and the Groom’s outfit after the wedding.
* Wrap all the gifts for the Bridesmaids, best man and attendants.
* Arrange all fees for the church or registrar, musicians (best man should do these).
* Do one last check on all documentation required including passports for the honeymoon.
Two Days Before The Wedding
* Confirm your final guest list to your hotelier or cateres.
* Make sure the wedding cake is fine and arrange all transport to and from your reception.
The day before The Wedding
* Have a manicure and pedicure, a long hot bath and an early night
Your Wedding Day
* Relax.
* Get up early enough so you don’t have to rush around. Have a good breakfast.
* Get your hair and make up done.
* Give yourself plenty of time to reach the church or registrar and always allow for the last minute hiccup.
* Have a fantastic day to remember!
1. Set the Date
After the announcement of the engagement, it is time to set the date for the wedding. The sooner you set the wedding date, the better you will be able to handle the timeline involved with the wedding plans. If you are having a very simple wedding (like running away to Vegas with a few friends or family members) your wedding date can be set within a short amount of time. If, however, you are planning to have a traditional wedding with the white dress, Grooms in tuxedos and all the rest of the wedding trimmings, you will have to set a date that will accommodate all the arrangements that have to be made. Don’t forget that you will have to book with the person officiating your wedding to ensure that person is free on your date of choice and you will have to book a reception hall. Usually reception venues need to be booked well in advance. In fact, you may want to set a tentative date, then firm up the date after you have confirmed with your wedding officiate and reception hall of your choice that your chosen date is possible.
Take into account why you book your wedding date what type of wedding you wish to have. Do you want a spring wedding, for example, or are you more comfortable with a winter wedding? There are pros and con’s to each choice, of course. Be aware that spring weddings are common so you may have a harder time finding caterers, photographers, or a place to hold your reception.
Also when setting your wedding date, you should keep in mind holidays or special days that can create problems. May, for example, is a popular month for weddings. The spring days are warming up and the flowers are starting to bloom, which can create a wonderful back-drop for your picture taking. May, however, is also the month that Mother’s Day falls in. You could have trouble getting your own wedding flowers arranged because of this. Also, if you book your wedding too close to Christmas, this can create problems with people attending your wedding or even buying gifts for you. Even take into account special family dates. Is Grandma Emma turning 100 years old on the date you have chose for your wedding?
When setting your wedding date, keep in mind the weather at the time of the year. If you want an outside wedding, you should try to stay away from springtime or fall where it may rain, or not set the date in colder months that may make it uncomfortable to be outside. Or if the weather is too hot, it may be uncomfortable to wear a heavy wedding dress or for the men in their tuxedos.
Another thing to consider when setting your wedding date, is your future spouse a football fan? If you set your wedding date too close to the Superbowl for instance, this may affect you in anniversaries to come
You may also want to keep in mind your honeymoon when setting you wedding date. You may want to book your honeymoon when travel rates are low, or when it may be a good time to go to the Caribbean for a honeymoon (during the cooler months if you live in northern places). Don’t forget to consider your anniversary dates when choosing the date also. For future anniversaries, are you planning to celebrate with a vacation?
Another thing to consider when you are choosing a date is a special date that may mean something to you and your fiancé, perhaps an anniversary of your own, say like on the anniversary of the day you met (or your first day, or whatever). This adds to the sentimental appeal of your wedding.
Make sure you allow enough time, when you set your wedding date, so that you can accomplish all the tasks that need to be done without frazzling yourself too much. You don’t need to start your marriage with a lot of tenseness because of having to do too much in too short an amount of time. Leave room for planning and execution of all that your wedding entails.
If you are planning a destination wedding, you must also allow time for passports and visas to be issued, for yourselves and for your wedding guests. Your guests may also have to arrange to have time off work or to save up to pay for getting to the destination.
2. Who Pays For What?
In the past, wedding etiquette was more or less a set of rules to follow on who paid for what for the wedding, who should be included in the wedding party, what type of dress the Bride should wear and essentially how a wedding should be run. Today’s world of weddings is much more liberal. It seems today that anything goes. Brides and Grooms can plan their wedding the way they want, with anything from saying their wedding vows while parachuting from an airplane to walking hand-in-hand down the aisle on a secluded Caribbean beach. Of course, the traditional wedding is still popular, but with many variations to suit today’s modern couple. Emily Post, no doubt, would roll over in her grave at some of the traditional wedding rules that have gone by the wayside, but after all, it is your wedding, your big day, and you should be able to plan the wedding the way you want it.
Traditionally, the Bride’s parents were the ones who paid for the big day. This stemmed from the old traditions of a women being betrothed (the Bride’s family was seen as ‘giving away’ or ‘marrying off’ their daughter) to a man, who was given a dowry. (The dowry was often a gift of money or property from the Bride’s family to the BrideGroom.) In today’s modern society, it is sometimes still the case where the Bride’s family foots most of the expense, however it is not always so. It is also correct the both the Bride and Groom’s families share the expense, or that the Bride and Groom pay for the wedding themselves.
If the Bride’s family is to pay for the wedding there are still things that the Groom’s family could do to help:
* The Groom’s family should be involved in the wedding planning process, albeit to a lesser degree, to ensure a smooth wedding planning process. After all, it is their son getting married so they should have some input.
* The Groom’s family can host the engagement party, if there is to be one.
* The Groom’s family should supply the Bride’s family with the names, addresses and number of guests from their side of the family (according to how many guests have been agreed upon).
* The Groom’s family should inform the Bride’s family of any family traditions that should be included in the wedding.
* Both the Bride and Groom’s family should try to co-ordinate their wedding attire. Although it is not necessary for both sets of parents to wear identical outfits, their attire should at least complement each other in color, tone and formality. The fathers may want to wear the same style of tuxedos.
* The mother of the Groom should always be invited to all wedding showers.
* The father of the Groom may be included in the Groom’s bachelor party.
* Both sets of parents should be included in the wedding rehearsal. The Groom’s parents traditionally host the rehearsal dinner.
* Arrangements can be made for the Groom’s family to pay for incidental things, such as the marriage license, officiate fees, floral arrangements, musician’s fees, or even the honeymoon. Who eventually pays for these items should be discussed with both sets of parents and agreed upon well in advance of the wedding. Knowing who agrees to pay for what helps a great deal in planning and budgeting for the wedding.
It is important to note that the above is only a guideline. There are many reasons in today’s day and age that can change the traditional ‘who pays for what’ situation. Today’s modern Brides don’t like the idea of ‘being married off’ or being ‘given away’. Also, if one side of the family pays for the wedding, that may cause a problem with a control issue, which makes the wedding a lot less about the couple and more about only the Bride’s side of the family. The Bride and Groom do not want to feel left out or not in control of their own wedding. In fact, many couples now choose to split the wedding expense into thirds, where the Bride’s family pays a third, the Groom’s family pays a third and the couple themselves pay the remaining share. This allows all parties to have equal input. Other couples, even, opt to pay for the entire wedding themselves. This is very common in today’s world where both the Bride and Groom live separate lives from their parents and hold their own jobs and living arrangements.
Whatever way you choose to divvy up the financial side of the wedding, it is best for all parties to meet together, Bride, Groom and both sets of parents, to discuss the matter in depth. Once everyone knows who pays for what, it is then time to discuss the wedding budget, according to the means of each party involved.
As an added note, divorced parents are always a matter of concern as to which person should pay for what. The best way to handle this situation is for the two divorced people to discuss this amongst themselves and agree as to how much each will contribute. Sometimes a cash gift to the wedding couple is the best answer to the problem. Then the couple can decide how to divvy up the money in relation to the wedding costs.
In another note, if you plan on having a destination wedding, it is typical for the Bride and Groom to pay for their own travel arrangements and accommodations. The wedding couple can also agree to pay for their parents to attend the wedding, or for the wedding attendants (but this is not always the case.) With destination weddings, it is typical for all the guests to pay for their own travel arrangements.
3. Decide on a Budget
When deciding on a wedding budget, there are many things to take into consideration. You do not want to start your married life with a lot of debt. Money troubles can create a lot of discord in a marriage, so it is wise to plan your wedding according to what you can afford. Having said that, you also can take into consideration ‘who pays for what’ as outlined in the previous section. If your parents are helping with the wedding, you can plan your budget with that in mind.
You should make a list of everything you will need to pay for with respect to wedding expenses. For example, your wedding dress, the flowers, the wedding venue (reception hall), caterers, musicians, whether you are having a cash bar or not, wedding favors, honeymoon expenses, photographer, etc. There are also expenses involved with weddings that many people do not think of. Some of these can include hairdresser appointments, getting your nails done, going away outfits, rehearsal or bachelor party fees, wedding party gifts, and other sundry items (like tips to caterers). Try to make a list of everything you can think of that you wish to have at your wedding, no matter how small the items are. Then allocate each item with a monetary amount that you expect to pay according to your total wedding budget. This is where you need to get together with both sets of parents to agree on how much they will be able to contribute to your wedding. Remember that you and your intended may have to pay for some things yourselves.
One thing that is very important that can affect your wedding budget drastically is your wedding guest list. How many people you wish to have in attendance at your wedding can affect your budget significantly. You have to decide whether your budget will allow for 20 people or 300 people. With 20 wedding guests, you may be able to spend a little extra on the trimmings. For example, you may be able to hold your wedding at a posh hotel and have a fine dining experience. With 300 people, you may be more restricted in how much you can attribute to food (you may need to pay $25 per head for food, for instance) or you may have to go with a cash bar—depending on your budget, of course.
The following are items you may want to consider when making up your budget:
CEREMONY:
Ceremony Site Fee
Officiant's Fee
Officiant's Gratuity
Guest Book, Pen
Penholder
Ring Bearer Pillow
Flower Girl Basket
WEDDING ATTIRE:
Bridal Gown
Alterations
Headpiece & Veil
Gloves
Jewelry
Stockings
Garter
Shoes
Hairdresser
Makeup Artist
Manicure/Pedicure
Groom's Formal Wear
PHOTOGRAPHY:
Bride & Groom's Album
Parents' Album
Extra Prints
Proofs/Previews
Negatives
Engagement Photograph
Formal Bridal Portrait
VIDEOGRAPHY
Main Video, CD or DVD
Titles
Extra Hours
Photo Montage
Extra Copies
STATIONERY:
Invitations
Response Cards
Reception Cards
Ceremony Cards
Pew Cards
Seating/Place Cards
Rain Cards/Maps
Ceremony Programs
Announcements
Thank-You Notes
Stamps
Calligraphy
Napkins/ Matchbooks
MUSIC:
Ceremony Music
Reception Music
RECEPTION:
Reception Site Fee
Head Table
Guest Tables
Buffet Table
Punch Table
Cake Table
Cake
Cake Knife
Toasting Glasses
Floral Delivery & Setup Hors D' Oeuvresv
Main Meal/Caterer
Liquor/ Beverages
Bartending Fee
Bar Set-up Fee
Corkage Fee
Fee to Pour Coffee
Service Providers' Meals
Gratuity
Party Favors
Disposable Cameras
Rose Petals/Rice
Gift Attendant
Parking Fee
Valet Services
FLOWERS:
Bouquets
Bride's
Tossing
Maid of Honor's
Bridesmaids'
Main Altar
Alter Candelabra
Aisle Pews Reception Site
Floral Hairpiece
Maid of Honor
Bridesmaids'
Flower Girl's
Corsages
Bride's Going Away
Other Family Members'
BoutonnieresGroom's
Ushers
BAKERY:
Wedding Cake
Groom's Cake
Cake Delivery
Set-up Fee
Cake-Cutting Fee
Cake Top
Cake Knife/Toast Glasses
DECORATIONS:
Table Centerpieces
Hall Decorations, streamers, veiling, balloons
TRANSPORTATION:
Transportation for Bride and Groom
Transportation for Groomsmen and Bridesmaids
Transportation for parents
RENTAL ITEMS:
Bridal Slip
Ceremony Accessories
Tent/Canopy
Dance Floor
Tables/Chairs
Linen/Tableware
Heaters
Lanterns
GIFTS:
Bride's Gift
Groom's Gift
Bridesmaids' Gifts
Ushers' Gifts
PARTIES:
Bridesmaids' Luncheon
Rehearsal Dinner
Bachelor Party
HONEYMOON:
Travel Expenses
Passports, Visas
Luggage
Travel Clothing
MISCELLANEOUS
Newspaper Announcement.
Marriage License
Prenuptial Agreement
Bridal Gown/Bouquet Preservation
Wedding Consultant
Wedding Software
Taxes
Here are a few times for planning a wedding on a minimal budget:
* Remember the important thing is that there are only a couple of key elements that are required for your wedding: a marriage license, an officiant, and two willing participants
* Shop early for your wedding gown. Look for sample wedding dresses. Many bridal boutiques also have sales during the year. Look in unexpected places, like department stores that offer wedding dresses too, or catalogues (Sears catalogue also now offers wedding dresses and Bridesmaids’ attire).
* You don’t have to wear traditional white wedding pumps. White shoes are available everywhere.
* Do your wedding invitations. Many stationary stores offer do-it-yourself kits to make your own wedding invitations. Or, if you are handy with a computer, you can create wonderful wedding invitations with just the programs on your computer, or with a special low-cost computer program.
Some couples even opt for wedding e-cards!
* Consider making your own wedding bouquet. These can be made from flowers from your own garden (very personalized) or from silk flowers. Some Brides opt to have a single long stem rose or a white calla lily in lieu of a traditional bouquet. Just add a ribbon to match your color theme.
* Consider making your own wedding favors. Not only is this cost effective, but it will also add a personal touch to your wedding.