Foreclosure is the New "F" Word…
Losing your home without losing your hope
Marci Seither
FORECLOSURE Is The New "F" Word…
Losing your home without losing your hope
Copyright © 2011 by Marci Seither. All rights reserved.
First Edition Smashwords eBook 2012
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Cover Design: Marci Seither
ISBN: 978-1-4675-1486-6
Praise for FORECLOSURE Is The New "F" Word…
Losing your home without losing your hope
Just finished your booklet, Foreclosure is The New "F" Word. It is packed with some really great practical information, as well as heart-felt experiences. Thank you for stepping out in this 'Second Journey Around This World!'—Kate Pieper, Licensed Marriage Family Therapist, California
Introduction
This booklet is not a substitute for professional, financial and legal services or how to avoid being foreclosed on. This booklet is also not a replacement for professional counseling.
FORECLOSURE Is The New "F" Word…losing your home without losing your hope deals with the emotional aspect of losing your home, and how to cope with the loss, from the perspective of someone who has experienced it firsthand.
When we found out we were losing our home, it felt as if our world was turned upside down. It wasn't just about a house made of wood and sheet-rock. It was about losing a dream.
I didn't know about the stages of grief, or understand how to help our kids cope with the loss. I didn't even know where to turn for emotional support. This booklet isn't a quick fix on how to change your financial situation.
The purpose of FORECLOSURE is the new "F" word"…losing your home without losing your hope is to let you know that someone has been down a similar path and found that there is always a flicker of hope even when things seem the darkest.
The Notice
Life was busy, but as a mom of six kids, that's normal. After an activity crammed day, I picked our three youngest kids up from school. They chatted about their science projects on the ride home.
As I pulled the car into the driveway I marveled at the dogwood trees in full bloom, a beautiful contrast to the towering cedars surrounding our house. I stopped the car and reminded everyone to take in their backpacks.
Then, I noticed the stark white sheet of paper taped to the front door.
"Mmm," I pulled the keys out of the ignition, "Someone must have left us a note!"
Ten year old Jack hopped out of the car and ran up the stamped concrete sidewalk. He pulled the letter from the front door and handed it to me.
My heart stopped. It wasn't a note from a friend or an announcement about an upcoming fund raiser. It was a legal notice.
Across the top in big letters was the word...'FORECLOSURE'.
The New "F" Word
We lived through tough economic times before but despite living on a tight budget, we could no longer weather this latest financial storm.
John was building a business in the construction trade. We, like so many other small business owners, used the equity in our home to help bank-roll our company. When the economic bubble burst, it wasn't a flash flood event. It was more like a tsunami. The devastation was widespread. Thankfully, we still had an income. It just wasn't enough to sustain us. After months of phone calls with the lender, it was obvious that renegotiating our mortgage was not an option.
Never in our marriage had we ever thought we could lose our home. But we did.
For us, and 1.4 million others, foreclosure has become the new "F" word.
Plan 'B'
We had originally planned to build our business, sell it, and pay off all our debts including our mortgage. Our plan 'A' was also based on the huge amount of equity we had in our home.
When the economy started to go downhill, everyone in the construction trade felt the financial squeeze. We were no exception.
Our home sat on ground we cleared out of the densely forested Sierra Nevada Mountains. We milled the lumber from trees that had grown on our six acres. Hand hewn log trusses hung above rock floors that we had painstakingly installed and grouted. Hours of work. Years of planning.
What had been a workable dream ten years earlier was nothing more than a disappearing vapor. We were losing the home we had lovingly named Pine Lodge. It felt like a death.
I called my husband as soon as I could talk without having my voice catch in my throat.
"I'll be right home," John tried to reassure the kids and me. "I promise to do whatever I can to keep it from going to auction."
But plans don't always turn out like you think. Plan 'A' can quickly become plan 'B' despite the best of intentions.
Foreclosure was a simple word that changed everything.
Our dreams turned to dust. Discouragement overwhelmed us. The elephant sized load we had carried shifted its weight, pinning us to the ground with barely enough room to breathe.
Silence
Everyone processes grief differently. Instead of the expected anger came the deafening sound of silence. It began to wear us down. We ran out of ideas on what to do and we ran out of words to say to each other.
Even though I knew John loved me, I felt he had let me down. And I often wondered if I had let him down as well.
Instead of being honest with how I felt, I began to doubt the strength of our relationship. The joy and laughter that permeated our home was packed away in the boxes of photo albums and precious family mementos destined for storage.
Till Debt Do Us Part
Our marriage was built on Godly principles. Now I wondered if we would say losing our home made us stronger or marked the end of our best years together.
"I think my dreamer is broken," I whispered during a quiet breakfast.
I fought hard to keep tears from streaming down my face. Insecurity about our family's future had made sleeping difficult. I was exhausted.
"I hope I live long enough to make things up to you," John replied.
Our twenty-fifth anniversary approached. Once we had thought about a trip to Hawaii where we had honeymooned. That was no longer an option.
I didn't want to do anything special, but my parents gave us an overnight stay at Lake Tahoe so we went. This was exactly what we needed…time to relax and talk about things other than what we should keep or sell.