Half Black Soul
The Alexa Montgomery Saga: Book Two
H. D. Gordon
Copyright 2012 H.D. Gordon
Smashwords Edition
Copyright by Heather Gordon, All rights reserved worldwide under Berne Convention. May not be copied or distributed without prior written permission. If you have this file (or a printout) you are depriving the author and the publisher of their rightful royalties and are punishable under law.
As with everything of any significance in my life, this is for my daughters, Soraya and Akira. Without you, none of this would make any sense. I love you more than life.
I would first like to thank Robert and Nicole Passante for all of things you both have done for me. I am certain that without you this book would be lost. I am in awe of the kindness you two have shown me and I look forward to what the future will bring with you by my side. Seriously, Nic, the world needs more people like you. I love you very truly.
Next, I thank my Mother, Janice Gordon. You introduced me to the world of books. You have always encouraged my writing and believed in me from the start. Thank you for always listening to my endless book babble, for reading every word I’ve ever written. For everything. I love you, Mommy.
Also, thank you to my father, Cyrus Gordon. Without you, I simply would not be. Without you, these books would have never been written. You have loved me unconditionally and been there when I needed you most. You are my guardian angel. I love you, Daddy.
And, finally, to the readers. I can’t thank you enough for giving a little book called Blood Warrior a try. You have been enormously kind and accepting, and allowed me to live my dream. I love you all.
Alexa
They say that change happens over time. I think change happens in rapid moments, moments that are as unpredictable as love, as fleeting, and moments that possess you, rather than the other way around.
I know what I am. I happen to believe that I was born with certain… inclinations. But I also know that when I woke up this morning I was something entirely different from what I am now. This morning I was something that was in no sense of the word pure, but also not lost, which is what I have become. One of those moments stole any remnant, any hope that I could defeat my inclinations, that I was not fated, that I was, in perhaps some macabre way, mostly good.
What remains now is no longer a question of whether I can overcome my inclinations, but rather a question of redemption.
Alexa
Of course it was raining. I hate driving in the rain. I had been on the road for four hours, the storm just following me the whole way. What is worse is that it made me feel as though I was chasing the sun, just a mile behind it at every moment.
I’d had to stop for food, still five hours from my destination. The diner I was sitting in was generic; one that could be found off any major highway across America. Upon entering, to the left, there was a small convenience store, complete with magazine racks, souvenirs with pictures of the state of Pennsylvania printed across them, stacks of candy, and a cashier station that housed tobacco products and lottery tickets. To the right lay the small diner, with booths along the windows, and a counter with tall stools and “homemade pies” on top displayed behind clear cases. I’d chosen it because it happened to be the next stop off the highway when hunger struck me. Later I would wonder if it was fate that I should stop at that diner.
I’d taken the booth nearest the door. I just wanted a break from driving in the rain, and I needed to eat to keep my energy up. I sat down with my back to the entrance, and in hindsight, I should have known then that this place was nowhere I should be. I’m trained, see. I should’ve known better. The only time I sit with my back to an entrance is when the biggest threat is already in the room.
But my mind was on other things. In the past few weeks, everything I’d thought to be true had turned out to be a lie; the veil that had been draped over my world had been ripped away with abrupt force. I’d always known I was different from other people, but I hadn’t known how far that difference extended; I hadn’t known I wasn’t even human.
I am the last of my kind; a Sun Warrior, made for battle and killing. And, as it turns out, that was the reason why I’d just left a city full of vampires and werewolves who were under the impression that I was going to save them. To say the least, I had my doubts.
Everything else had come as a complete shock as well; so crazy that if I didn’t just roll with it, I would probably lose my mind. My Mother had trained me to fight, and yes, kill since I was old enough to walk. She had thought that it was absolutely necessary. I had just thought she was crazy, and I’d hated her for it, but she couldn’t have been more right. She had drilled it into me to protect my little sister, Nelly, because it turned out that Nelly isn’t human either. She’s a Searcher, well, half Searcher, which is a race of vampires that are able to see into peoples souls. But, the other half of what she is was unheard of, and is the reason she has abilities other Searchers don’t have. This is the reason I was supposed to protect her.
My best friend and newly obtained boyfriend, Jackson, had turned out to be a werewolf. The three of us had all run on the night that harsh reality had smacked me in the face. The night that I lost my Mother. The night before we went to Two Rivers.
Two Rivers, a hidden city housed in the middle of the Pine Barrens of New Jersey, was the most magnificent place I’d ever seen. You have to stumble through miles of dense forest to find it, and if you are human, the magic surrounding it will keep you from even seeing it. But, huge, stone walls protect it, and the two wide rivers on either side keep bad things from entering; the same bad things that had served to rip me out of my fantasy world, and send me running to the supposed safety of Two Rivers. On the surface, everything there was divinely beautiful; even the vampires and werewolves who called it home. But, the glorious appearance of the Two Rivers hid ugly lies. People there knew something was wrong, but because of a magical substance in the food and blood that Two Rivers served, they didn’t know what awaited them after they outgrew their use. I knew; I’d seen the village.
The village was where I’d met Soraya. Soraya, and others like her, were the reason that I had vowed to kill the King who was the ultimate ruler of the cities in which these supernaturals lived, like Two Rivers. The King was sending the “unfit” to villages where they were milked for their blood. I didn’t know why the King needed this blood, but I intended to find out. The village I’d found by accident was within the same walls that protected Two Rivers. This meant that the Queen who ran the city knew about the village. She was just the royalty that oversaw Two Rivers, though, and I wasn’t sure what side she was on, so I had to get to the King.
And then there was Kayden. I didn’t even know where to start with that one. Kayden is a Brocken vampire. Brockens are the fighters that have taken up the protection of the other supernatural races after Warriors, like me, had died out. At Two Rivers, Brockens not only protected, but entertained the citizens by fighting in an arena every month, usually to the death. The Brocken school was where I had attended for the last few weeks, and if I didn’t go make a huge mess of things, someday I would be fighting in that arena as well.
But, Kayden wasn’t just a Brocken vampire, he was also a Libra. Warriors and Libras are drawn to each other, and since I am the only Warrior left, Kayden is probably the only Libra. His presence alone can soften the fire inside of me, but I refused to admit that I might need him.
And, anyway, first I had to go find out if my Mother was still alive.
So, I stared out the window, watching the day. The roof of the establishment wept rain down the glass, blurring the world beyond it, and the dark clouds devoured the sun’s light long before it could reach the earth. It was a good day for sleeping, certainly not for running off to my probable demise. But, then, I’m not sure if there is ever a good day for that.
I ignored the sensation for the first few minutes, as my mind was understandably elsewhere, but I felt it as surely as an unwelcome caress to the skin, annoying me rather than alarming me. I was being watched.
I pulled my attention from the rain, and the very first thing my eyes settled on was the source of the feeling. I suppose I have an instinct for other predators. And the man sitting in a booth at the other end of the restaurant was certainly that, watching me in a manner that made my own predator perk its ears up in response.
But, this threat was human, and unless he pulled a gun on me or something, I didn’t really have anything to fear. I was stronger and faster, and well, deadlier than any human. And also in a rather bad mood at the moment. So, I stared back at him, and after a few seconds, he averted his eyes. I returned to my thoughts. The watching didn’t carry on.
Some time later, while I was well on my way to finishing a stack of fluffy pancakes and eggs, the man stood up to leave. As he moved, I watched him.
Somewhere in his mid-to-late forties, with beady, black eyes, divided by a large, hooked nose and thin, pink lips. A greasy, receding hairline. A generous build with extra helpings around the midsection.
The man stood beside the booth, patted his ample stomach twice with his left hand, dug some money out of his pocket with his right, and tossed it on the table. Then he began to lumber toward the exit; toward me. I continued watching. Well, something in me continued watching.
He wore dirty, old jeans and a t-shirt that I could only guess used to be white. Tan work boots, with thick, rubber soles. Large, hairy arms, and a walk that favored the left leg ever so slightly. A weak point.
Yes, something in me was most certainly paying attention, even if I wasn’t.
As he moved passed me, the smells of clove cigarettes, fried food, and body odor assaulted my nose, and a feeling that I can only describe as dirty came over me. But an instant later, the small chime on the door sounded, and he was gone, the feeling following him out. I returned to my food and my thoughts.
For the rest of the meal I tried to think about anything other than my life at the moment. I concentrated on my food instead, and before I knew it, my plate was empty and it was time to be on my way. I paid at the counter, using my own money rather than what my friend Tommy had given me. I only wanted to use his money if absolutely necessary, planning to give it and his car back to him. That is, supposing I was alive to give them back.
As I pushed open the door to leave, the warm, wet air engulfed me, making me feel once again as though I should really be in bed at the moment. I’d woken up too early, before the sun had completely risen, and since the day was so dark I felt as though last night had never really ended. Like this whole day was going to be one long night for me. Maybe this whole trip.
But, when the sun really left, things that craved my unique blood would come out looking for me. Vampires that knew no sparkle, or compassion, only destruction. Tonight, Lamias would come out. Horribly murderous monsters that, until last night, I was sure had killed my Mother a few weeks ago, back when life had been normal. I’d killed three of them on the night of the attack. Now one of the ones that I had left alive, left for my Mother to fight alone in order to save my sister’s life, had promised to kill me as soon as I left the walls and safety of Two Rivers. This was the same vampire who had told me that my Mother was alive, that she was being held at a prison for vampires and werewolves; a prison that Two Rivers sent their criminals to. A prison that the Queen of Two Rivers knows about, and a prison that is under the rule of an awful, bastard of a King. The Queen had told me that her search team had found my Mother “drained dry”. Dead. So now I was going to find out who was lying. I had to at least try; I’d already left her to die once.
So, I knew that at least one Lamia would be looking for me, and I doubted she’d come alone. I had all of eight hours before the sun sank and that hunt began.
I made my way around to the rear of the building, having parked in the lot behind it in an attempt to travel as inconspicuously as possible. The rain fell on and around me. I dug into my jacket pocket for my keys as I made my way to Tommy’s Mercedes.
A breeze ran through the parking lot and brought chill bumps up on my arms. It also brought a scent; clove cigarettes, fried food, and body odor.
I stopped in my tracks and scanned the scene carefully, my senses going on high alert. An old red truck to my far right. A downward slope at the edge of the concrete, with yellowed grass and a small stream, directly ahead of me. A white conversion van parked ten spaces away from the Mercedes to the left. The diner directly behind my back, with twin dumpsters placed conveniently near the rear exit of the restaurant.
I tilted my head back and inhaled deeply. The breeze had come and gone, taking with it the majority of the scent, leaving behind the chill bumps. But, very faintly, I could still smell the cloves, food and stink of the man lying under that of the wet air and spoiled food in the dumpsters. He was somewhere very close to the white van, waiting for me. My senses told me the first part, my instincts provided the last.
I resumed my approach, my mind hopping instantly to the whereabouts of my Gladius; the silver Warrior’s sword my Mother had given me the morning before my life had collapsed around me. It lay under the driver’s seat in Tommy’s car. Somehow I knew I wasn’t going to let it out of my sight again after whatever happened next, that leaving it in the car had been a very stupid mistake.
I was only five feet from the door to the Mercedes when he appeared from behind the white van. I stopped once more. I might have been able to get into the car before he could reach me if I hadn’t stopped. But, stop I did.
He was even more unappealing when dripping wet; a sight that was something akin to grotesque. His once-white shirt clung to his large belly. His jeans had darkened to the color of soaked denim, and his few patches of straight, black hair hugged his head, revealing an oddly shaped cranium. Rain ran down his hooked nose and jowls. Hunger, deep and wild shined brilliantly behind his black, beady eyes. The belly of my own beast rumbled in response.
And when my left eye twitched, I knew then that this encounter was going to end badly.
He made his move toward me, swifter than what his stature would have suggested possible, but he may as well have been moving in slow motion. The usually dormant presence that resides inside of me was fully awake now, replacing what was my unease in the situation with its own intrigue in it. And the world always slowed down when my monster surfaced, in a way that it would never yield to just me.
I saw everything; crisp, clear, and precise. The way his tan work boots flicked the rain in their forward motion. The way his meaty forearms rubbed against the sides of his fat stomach in time with his long, deliberate strides. The way his cheeks rippled, and how his thin, pink lips pursed as he grew closer to his prey; closer to me.
I also saw very clearly that a large knife was clutched in his right hand.
Nelly
I slumped down a little in my seat, even though I don’t make a habit of slouching. I couldn’t help it. I was not in the least bit happy at the moment, and I didn’t want to pretend to be. If I wasn’t currently in a classroom surrounded by my peers, I would probably have my thumb stuck in my mouth like a baby. I only sucked my thumb in times of horrible stress, and this certainly qualified as that. Alexa was gone. Just gone. I was sure that as soon as classes let out, and I had time to myself to think, I was going to be crying my eyes out, like I had earlier this morning. Right now, it seemed as though the day was crying for me.
I stared out of the classroom window, watching the rain fall and fall. I was almost glad that the day wasn’t bright and sunny. For one, it matched my mood. For two, my sister hates traveling in the rain, so I kept hoping that maybe she’d be back soon, having changed her mind about whatever had made her leave in the first place.
Yes, this was absolutely a horrible, awful, thumb-sucking day.
To add to that, the thing that had happened earlier with the letter was still freaking me out. When I’d seen Jackson standing in the spot where Alexa and I usually meet up in the morning before school, I knew immediately that something was wrong. I suppose it is one of my “abilities”, but the true feelings of others are never lost to me.
I’m what is called a Searcher, a blood-drinker that has the ability to literally “Search souls”. But my blood is not pure. I am half of another race; I’m half Lamia, which is the reason I can do things other Searchers aren’t able to do. Things that no one should be able to do. Things I don’t always have control of.
The unrest in Jackson’s soul was so thick when I’d seen him this morning that to me it seemed almost palpable. It was so different from the positive, sunny soul I so often glimpsed in him that I couldn’t stop my mind from reaching out. So, from fifty yards away, I’d Searched him. I hadn’t meant to, it just happened. I’d pulled it back as soon as I could manage, but from Jackson’s head I’d known that he had a letter for me; a letter from my sister. And it didn’t hold good news.
When I’d reached him, I could tell that Jackson had no idea of what I’d done. He hadn’t felt my Search; a Search that no one should have been able to accomplish at such a distance. It seemed to me that my abilities were growing stronger and more unpredictable by the day. And what happened next with the letter was further proof of this.
I’d said, “Hey, Jackson.”
He’d smiled that charming smile of his, but I could tell upset hid behind it. There was something else too, a different feeling that I decided not to dig into. Whatever was going on in Jackson’s head was none of my business. And, I’d already invaded his privacy a little by accident.
“Hey, Nelly,” he’d replied.
Then Jackson pulled a piece of paper out of his flannel shirt pocket and handed it to me. I still haven’t opened the letter, I haven’t had to. At the moment, it was sitting in the side pocket of my backpack. I was kind of afraid to touch it again.
When the note from my sister had passed from Jackson’s hand to mine, something that has never happened to me before happened. Something that I had never even known was possible.
I’d Searched the letter.
One moment I had been standing in the center square of the school’s dormitories with Jackson, and the next I was somewhere else completely. It was like I’d been sucked into a mental black hole, my mind ripping out of my skull in the present and being deposited in some other time.
I’d recognized the room immediately. The bed was unmade, the trash bin overflowing, and there were absolutely no “feminine touches” to speak of. I was standing in Alexa’s dorm room.
I couldn’t see Alexa, however, and very sparse light was coming in through the windows. I noticed all of this through peripheral vision, though, because I’d also found that I had no control over my movements. And when I’d looked down at the small, scarred hand that was hastily scribbling on a sheet of paper, I saw that that didn’t belong to me either.
No, the bruised knuckles and unpolished, chewed fingernails weren’t mine. They were Alexa’s. I’d watched as the words were scribbled hastily across the page.
Nell,
Please don’t be pissed, okay? I’m leaving, and no, I can’t tell you where I’m going or why I’m going because I know you would do something stupid and try to follow me. I just need you to trust me, Nell. I know what I’m doing. More importantly, I need you to be careful for me. I know you think I’m just paranoid, but I also know in my gut that things aren’t right at Two Rivers. I’m not sure what kind of danger I’ve just left you in, but you know I wouldn’t have done it if I didn’t have a good reason. So, just be careful, okay? Try to act normal about my being gone. Make up a story or something. And, yes, I know you’re pissed, but I also know you’ll do this for me because you are my sister and you love me. And one more thing, be strong, Nell. You don’t know how strong you are, but I do. I know you can take care of yourself because you are strong. I’m not sure what will happen while I’m gone, but do whatever you must to keep yourself safe… and don’t trust anyone unless you know you can trust them. I’ve got to go, but I love you, Nell. I love you more than life itself.
-Alexa
My world had come tumbling down around me as I read the words. Alexa was gone. I was all alone. It had never really occurred to me before how much I depended on her to be there for me; to take care of me. A life without Alexa, even temporarily, was the worst thing I could imagine.
Some part of me had known she couldn’t hear me. I had just been experiencing a flashback; a memory of the moment the letter had been composed. Alexa was already long gone. But at the time, that hadn’t stopped me from trying to scream at her while I’d watched her fold the note and stuff it in her pocket.
It had been a soundless, throat aching scream. And, it ripped me out of the scene and sent me crashing back down to earth. The first thing I’d seen when I had regained my own vision was a blue and black flannel pattern. Jackson.
He had gripped my arms and shaken me frantically. His face was pulled tight with concern. “Nelly? Nelly, what’s going on? Are you okay?” he’d asked.
I had most absolutely not been okay. I still wasn’t okay. For several long moments, I hadn’t been able to find my voice. Tears had come tumbling, hot and wet, down my cheeks, and the rain that was currently falling heavier and heavier outside of the classroom had begun.
“She’s gone,” I’d said, not recognizing the tone of my own voice. It had been all I could manage. Jackson had caught me and held me tight as I’d fallen forward, sobbing into his arms.
And, now, here I sat; listening to some lecture that couldn’t mean less to me at the moment. Watching the rain fall, wondering where the heck my sister was. And hoping, praying, that she wasn’t getting herself into some kind of horrible trouble.
Problem was, this was Alexa we were talking about here.
Alexa
The events of the next few moments were going to change me forever. The worst part is, if I could go back, I’m not sure that I would have been able to act any differently.
The sight of the knife didn’t scare me. It should have, but it didn’t. Instead, the inappropriate feeling of admiration was ignited upon seeing the weapon. And behind the eyes of my time-slowing monster, I had a moment to study the blade.
The handle was a polished ivory with what looked like a hand-carved surface, though I couldn’t be sure because the man’s thick digits covered a great portion of it. The large blade curved upward, in an arch, and ended in a sharp point rolled slightly inward like a trimmed talon. Combined with the serrated base down by the handle, there was something incredibly final about it. It seemed to me rather lovely, and I could only imagine how the sun would reflect off the arch of the steel, were there any sun to be seen. Instead, cold rain dripped from the claw end of it. Nonetheless, a fine weapon indeed.
He didn’t waste any time with words. He simply held the knife up so as to make sure that I saw it, and moved to grab me.
I had the longest split second in history to decide what to do. Apparently, I didn’t think fast enough, and what my Mother would so generously call instincts, but what I would call monster, acted for me.
I had fully and instantaneously relinquished control; and not truly by my own volition. But, I knew in the dark side of my soul, the side that could recognize a kindred spirit, that this man meant to do bad things to me; that he had almost definitely done those same despicable things to other girls like me. Well, other girls that seemed like me; small and weak and…. helpless. And, unfortunately for him, he was horribly mistaken on two out of the three.
So the low roundhouse kick was naturally aimed at his right leg; the weak point that my rather observant monster had pointed out earlier. And what I knew had to be a crooked, crazed smile came to my lips when I heard the essential ligaments in his right knee rip into two worthless pieces. To his credit, he didn’t cry out, and for a moment, nothing at all registered on his face.
Then, rage, pure and ferocious, seized his features. He shouldn’t have even still been standing; his leg was surely destroyed, but he was close enough to me that he decided to slash out with the beautifully crafted knife. In my current manner, taking the weapon from him was as easy as snatching a dazed fly from the air. The blade looked much better in my hand than it had in his. My left eye twitched once more, and my satisfied smile stretched upward still.
I danced back once I had the weapon, too swift for any human to move. In one final attempt to reach me, at last his ruined knee failed him, and he fell downward, hard and fast, disturbing the rainwater that had settled all around him.
His palms caught the concrete before his protruding stomach could, and his head snapped forward with the impact. His body shook, trembled for a moment, and combined with his current position, the sight reminded me of a cold, wet dog left out in a storm. The beast inside of me giggled and rejoiced in excitement; as pleased as an underprivileged child given a birthday present. Above us, the thunder was cheering out as well.
When he brought his misshapen, dripping head up and met my eyes, the pain from the shattered ligaments had finally registered on his hideous face. The expression was so agonized, that it seemed to me absolutely beautiful. In that moment, as I stood powered by the wicked thing I always fought so hard to suppress, I very much enjoyed watching his pain; just as surely as he would have enjoyed watching mine. A bubble of excitement and anticipation bloomed inside of me. I felt my fingers tighten slightly around the ivory in my fist.
When he spoke, his voice was as displeasing as the rest of him; more the growl of an animal than a sound associated with a human being. “You stupid little bitch,” he snarled. “What the hell areyou?”
I circled around so that I stood behind him, yanked his head back by the small patch of hair on the back of his warped skull. A guttural, nasty sound escaped him. I placed his own blade against his throat as I bent his neck back to an unnatural angle, and leaned forward a little so that I could see his eyes. At last, I saw it. The thing the corrupt part of my being had been begging for; the thing my monster cherished and adored so fiercely: fear.
What truly horrifies me is that I didn’t even consider fighting it; the “right” thing to do was never presented by my mind. Later, I would tell myself over and over that I had saved other girls by doing what I did. Later, I would say that it was for the greater good, though I would never fully be able to believe that.
Right then, in that life-changing, rapid moment, in a cold, flat voice that wasn’t quite mine, all I said was, “I’m the same thing you are,” and drew the blade across his throat.
Nelly
By about halfway through my second period class, I was pretty much freaking out. I hated sitting there when I knew that Alexa was out doing something absolutely crazy. No, I didn’t know exactlywhat she was doing, but I knew my sister. And either way, leaving the security of Two Rivers was a dangerous thing in itself right now.
Also, too many emotions were roiling inside of me; ugly emotions. There was loss; one of the worst things there is, in my opinion. But, there was also a little fear, which instantly led to shame, then, anger. Anger at myself. Anger at my sister. I think the anger is what does it.
The times that I become too upset or stressed out about something are usually when I do things that I don’t mean to do. This morning with the letter was different; that was new to me. The thing that was happening currently I had done before, but only like twice.
I called it “blanket Searching”, and since I knew I was the only one who could do it, I figured I could name it whatever I pleased. I gave it that name because it was literally like my mind turned into a blanket that stretched out and covered all the souls in the immediate vicinity. Mass Searching would be another way to describe it.
The problem is, it isn’t supposed to work like this. Searchers are only supposed to be able to Search one person at a time, when making physical contact. The good ones can skim the surfaces of a soul without touching the person, and only if that person happens to be weak-minded, but any more would be impossible. The things I can do are unheard of, and if anyone here at Two Rivers were to find out why I can do them, something really bad would happen. They would kill me.
But, I couldn’t control it. There seemed to be a muscle in my mind that liked to stretch out every once in a while; an entity separate, and yet part of me, that did whatever it pleased when my “right” mind was too distracted or distressed to rein it back in. I hated times like this; there are some secrets that are better kept as just that.
But, I would be lying not to admit that there is just something captivating about knowing so many souls at one moment. That didn’t matter, though. It didn’t make it right.
So, for about twenty minutes, I just pushed the unwanted information out of my head as soon as it entered. It wasn’t easy; like I said, there is something intriguing about deep secrets, and everybodyhas them, but the reality of my own life at the moment was more interesting to me than my classmates and teacher’s life.
None of their issues mattered. Alexa was gone.
So, as I was shoving away the emotions and thoughts and histories of the people around me, it took me a time to pick-up on the strange uniform undertone. But when I did, it pulled my attention from my own unhappy thoughts, and sent me digging through souls in the room like a raccoon in a trashcan. The tainted part of my mind that controls these involuntary Searches was intrigued.
The two times that I had blanket Searched, like I was now, were both before I came to Two Rivers a few weeks ago. The first time, only Alexa and my Mother had been in the room with me, and I already knew them both so well that nothing I learned came as a surprise. The second time had been in a classroom of my peers; human peers. And, that day I picked up so much disturbing knowledge that I’d come home crying. Alexa had comforted me. She’d made me laugh when she asked, with the most serious expression I’ve ever seen on any ten-year-old’s face, who had done it. I’d stopped laughing when she’d added, with just as much conviction, that she would kill them. But, I’d felt better.
There was something unusual here, though. Something small and heavily guarded, yet instinctively important. All the souls that my mind was reaching at the moment felt one thing in common underneath all of the other emotions that were occurring in their minds: fear.
I spent the rest of the class period Searching through each of them one by one. I scanned all past memories. I checked every avenue that their souls had to offer, peeked in every closet, and behind every closed door. By the time the bell rang, I was exhausted, my nose running and my forehead uncomfortably damp. But I had learned two things: all of these people were scared of something, and other than irrelevant preferences, all they had in common was that they were all Searchers, and they all lived in Two Rivers.
Maybe I should have listened when Alexa tried to tell me that something was horribly wrong here.
Alexa
I stepped back, closed my eyes, and breathed in deeply. My skin began to tingle in the most pleasing of ways. My tongue flicked out across my upturned lips. My incisors were elongated into fangs, and behind my lids, I was sure that my eyes had gone wolf-gold as well. These things seemed all too appropriate; all the beasts that were mixed together in my blood were happy as clams. A euphoric high raced its way through me, and I rocked back on my heels. When I opened my eyes again, I took in every detail.
The man trembled, right hand clutching his throat, streaming crimson over his fingers and down his forearm, causing the thick hair there to follow the direction of the gushing red streams. The falling rain met the blood in mid-air, on skin, clothing and concrete. He crashed to the ground, making a noise like a rough, wet slap. His left hand clenched into a fist by his side. His body began to twitch. The toes of his tan work boots bobbed and scraped on the ground making frantic thud, scrape, thud, scrape, thud noises. His head fell to the side; one pudgy cheek mushed against the pavement. The single black eye that I could see was bulging out of its socket, as though some almighty fist were squeezing the bottom half of him. Red foam bubbled from his mouth like a washing machine overloaded with too many cups of detergent. Around him, the settled rain diluted the blood that spilled. And, finally, he ceased moving.
I stared down at him, intoxicated with whatever it was that the act of Taking Life did to me. I felt no regret, no fear, no shame or shock. I felt nothing other than the magnificent force of energy flowing into me. Later, I would come to the conclusion that I had been absorbing what must have been the man’s energy; the thing that gave him life. Right then, it couldn’t have made a difference.
This time, I didn’t shake or shiver at the sensation. I embraced it, ushered it inside and gave it quarters. It was kind of like getting a sip of the world’s most delicious smoothie, and then slurping and slurping until the whole of it was gone, willing the splendid liquid to merge with my veins and run into my bloodstream, never pausing for breath; the air no longer a priority. Only, it was nothing like drinking a smoothie. Really, it was unlike anything else at all.
The feeling lasted a little longer this time, and my hand didn’t tremble at all when I held the handle of the knife with the bottom of my shirt and methodically removed any prints. I dropped it to the ground and stuck the key in the car door, after nudging the big man aside with my tennis shoe. His weight seemed like nothing; like I was pushing aside a pile rags rather than a full grown man. I opened the door and slipped into the seat. Then I put the car in drive and pulled slowly out of the parking lot. No one ran out to stop me.
I settled back on the leather seat and lit a cigarette, pulling the smoke as deeply into my lungs as was physically possible. My head felt pleasantly light; my body on the edge of euphoria. The best of it had passed, but the lingering feeling had some mystical quality in itself. A thought struck me then, somehow seeming like the first one that was mine for a long time.
Killing the Lamias hadn’t felt like that. Similar, but not quite like that.
I drove onward, listening only to the sounds of the highway racing under Tommy’s expensive tires. I didn’t look, but I knew some new design had appeared on my already silver riddled arm; another death mark that the people at Two Rivers had admired so fondly. By the tingling sensation, I would say that whatever it was had made its home just above the crook of my elbow. Somehow I knew it would not be a lily; the flower that had appeared for each Lamia I’d killed. That had felt different too.
Three hours later, as I drew nearer and nearer to my destination, the high I’d gotten from killing the man had subsided. But, no other emotions had returned to take its place.
Nelly
Lunchtime is usually my favorite part of the day. But, a big reason for that is because it is when I get to see Alexa. At Two Rivers we attend separate schools that, as the Queen would say, “cater to our races”, but all of the schools shared a lunch in one enormous cafeteria in the center of the main campus. So, for the last few awful weeks, this had been a guaranteed time I’d get to see my sister. Right now, it was just depressing, and my company was starting to annoy me.
Well, not Daniel, my boyfriend. But Jackson and Tommy, who had oddly enough decided to have lunch at the same table in my sister’s absence, were skulking and shooting rude glances at each other. Nobody spoke except Daniel, but after a few attempts at making conversation, and receiving only grunts and shrugs from Jackson, and smirks and rolled eyes from Tommy, Daniel took a hint and gave up.
About midway through the lunch hour, I decided I couldn’t take it. Both Jackson and Tommy were pissed off. I wasn’t too much happier myself. Their souls were practically shouting out to me. Instead of Searching them, which would have been way too easy for me right then, I did something I rarely do. I spoke my mind.
“Jackson. Tommy.”
Tommy’s blue eyes lifted, and Jackson’s head tilted slightly to the right. I stretched my mind out a little to do a small Search of all the people within earshot of us. I don’t do this often, but I needed to make sure no one was paying us any attention. No one was.
I leaned forward and spoke quietly. “Okay, so obviously we’re all upset that Alexa left.” Jackson shot another dirty look at Tommy, and Tommy rolled his eyes. I continued, “I can see that you two are angry with each other, and to be honest, I couldn’t care less right now. Right now, all I want to know is what you two know about why my sister left Two Rivers.”
I usually don’t speak to people like this, but I knew that if they didn’t tell me, my mind was going to fish the information out of their heads. I’d done enough uninvited Searches today. So, I sat back and waited, and when neither Jackson nor Tommy offered anything, I leaned forward once more.
I looked at Jackson. I wasn’t sure if he knew exactly why I could do certain things, but he knew I was a very good Searcher. If I could get him to talk, maybe Tommy would follow. “You know, I can justtake the information from you. But I don’t want to do that. I will, because there is nothing I won’t do for my sister, but I certainly don’t want to.” Uninvitingly Searching people was a pretty crappy thing to do. Doing it to people who you considered friends was even crappier. Nobody wants someone else poking around in their head.
Jackson sighed, and pushed back his red-brown hair. He settled his flannelled forearms on the table and clasped his hands. Finally, he leaned forward and spoke. “She came to my room early this morning, around six or so.” His green eyes studied me for a moment before he continued. “The right side of her face was all swollen, and she had a black eye. I asked her what had happened, but she waved me off. Told me she was leaving, didn’t know when she’d be back, and asked me if I’d give you the letter.”
I raised my eyebrows. “That it?”
Jackson looked down at his hands. “She told me to look out for you.” A small smile came to his lips. “Made me promise to look out for you, actually.”
I saw the memory of it flash through his mind as he recounted the story. I know I said I wouldn’t, but I couldn’t help myself. He’d left out the kiss they’d shared, and the goodbye where Alexa told him she loved him, but those parts were clearest in his head. He’d replayed the scene over and over this morning; mainly the part when she’d told him she loved him. It had come as news to him, and he could only be happier about it if she hadn’t left immediately after. It wasn’t news to me, though. If I know anyone, it’s Alexa. I’d known she loved him before she knew she did.
Satisfied, I looked over at Tommy. Since he hadn’t asked where Alexa was, and I knew that they shared their first two classes, I figured she must have visited him too.
Tommy straightened his expensive collared shirt and sat forward. He shot a look at Jackson before he spoke. “She visited me too. I gave her my car, and some money. Told her how to find the exit that lets you drive out of the city. I asked her how long she would be gone, too. She …. gave an indefinite time frame.”
I thought about that for a minute. It wasn’t like Alexa to ask people for things; she hated owing anyone. So if she accepted Tommy’s car and money, she must have been desperate to get wherever she was going. I also now understood why Jackson and Tommy were upset with each other. Jackson is Alexa’s boyfriend. Alexa didn’t visit me when she left, but she took the time to visit Tommy. Not only that, she took his expensive car and money. It would have upset me too, if I were Jackson. And Tommy was probably just being flippant because that’s how he is.
Just in case, I scanned Tommy’s memory too. He was telling the truth. When he’d asked her how long she’d be gone, she’d said, “Maybe a few days….or a few months”. I guess that’s what Tommy meant by “indefinite time frame”. I immediately wished I hadn’t checked.
I let the conversation drop after that. I could’ve dug through their minds a little more, but I had already Searched them enough for now. There was no one in this world who knew my sister better than me, and I figured that if I thought hard enough, I could figure out why she left. If that didn’t work, I would Search every darn soul in this city. Even if that meant risking my life to do it.
When the bell rang, signaling the end of the lunch hour, I kissed Daniel and told him I wasn’t feeling up to our previously planned dinner tonight. He gave me a sympathetic look, and was understanding, as always. I waved goodbye to the others, and started on my own way. But, Jackson caught up to me.
He surprised me by pulling me into a hug. I’d never seen Jackson willing touch anyone other than my sister. As he held me, he said, “She did promise me she’d come back, you know. And I promised her I would take care of you. And I’ll promise you too. Because I will.”
“Thanks Jackson,” I replied.
He nodded and headed off to his classes. I stared after him a moment. I didn’t think he truly understood the task he’d agreed to.
Alexa
It was still raining, and I was still two hours away from Olivia’s, but I had to stop again. I told myself it was because I had to go to the restroom, even though I could have held it. I just needed to get out of the car and off of the road. But, really, I think I wanted to get away from myself; whoever the hell that was at the moment.
This time, I just pulled off at a small rest-stop that held only sparse facilities and a few vending machines. I walked slowly from the car to the building that housed the restrooms, not caring that the rain was falling hard enough to warrant a dash. It was like I felt that maybe the water could wash me clean somehow. Or maybe it was just because I couldn’t care less.
When I got there, I went straight into the first stall and took care of business. There were a few other cars in the parking lot, but I was alone in the women’s restroom. When I made my way over to the sink, I scrubbed my hands until they were raw. I noticed then that there wasn’t a drop of blood on them.
I looked down at my clothing, my shoes, turned side to side in the mirror to examine the rear of me. Not a drop of blood anywhere.
That’s because you did a good job.
The thought came from nowhere. I hadn’t been thinking much about anything since leaving the diner; since leaving the man dead in the parking lot of the diner, and this thought didn’t seem quite like my own. Instead, it was more like a whisper in my ear, from a voice that I knew, a voice that I’d heard come through my lips during the times when the bad part of my being had taken the wheel. It was a voice that wasn’t mine, but was.
My eyes slowly scanned the reflection in the mirror. My soaked long-sleeved black shirt clung to my body like a wetsuit. My long dark hair, made darker because of its wetness, was stuck to my head, loose strands still dripping rainwater. My lips were still full and pink. My cheeks, slightly flushed and glistening wet. Then, finally, because some part of me knew I had been avoiding them, I looked into my eyes.
They were still a dark, chocolate brown. They were still framed with long, thick, nearly black lashes. No mascara ran from them, as I don’t make a habit of wearing makeup, but there was a faint shadow underneath my lower lids that was a result of waking up too early this morning. Yes, they were still my eyes, but something small, yet essential, was missing. Something, so cleverly veiled, that I knew only my sister, Nelly, would have noticed.
There was no feeling at all behind those eyes, only the cold, calculating stare of a predator; the stare of my monster.
I slammed my eyes shut, and frantically tried to call up images of my sister, of Jackson, of my Mother. But, while I could picture them, remember their faces and voices, I couldn’t seem to reach thefeelings that I normally associate with them. The love, the affection, the sadness, and every other emotion I usually carried with me, was… lost. And what happened next was so terrifying that I nearly screamed out loud, and my nails dug into my palms deep enough to draw blood.
The images I had called up of my sister, my friends, my Mother, all shifted and began to change. Where before I was just seeing their faces, now I was seeing them in a scene I knew from a dream I’d had right after the Lamia’s had attacked my house and taken my Mother.
Ruin. Everything around me the color gray. Except the blood, which stood out like tar on a polar bear’s coat. And the bodies. Everyone I knew and loved sprawled around me in lifeless stillness. But, unlike in the dream, this time when I looked down, down at my red-stained clothes and hands, I didn’t fall to the ground in pain and hurt. Instead, a laugh, a cackle that I knew to belong to my monster, bubbled up from my throat, and rang out across the ruined, red-gray world that my mind had created.
My eyes flew open, locked straight on the thing that reflected back in the mirror, and an ugly, furious horror welled up in me when the realization finally hit me that my monster was in complete control now. Letting me drive, but calling the shots, like it had been from the moment that man had stepped out from behind the white van. And when one side of my mouth pulled up, in that half, crazed smile that I knew to belong to it too, I turned from the mirror, and all but ran for the exit of the restroom.
I threw the heavy door open with so much force that I had to catch it on its way back to keep it from slamming back into me. I had never in my life been as terrified as I was in that moment. But, as soon as I stepped out into the dark, wet day, I felt it. And, in that moment, feeling anything at all was the most lovely thing in the world to me.
I didn’t even have to scan the parking lot, I just looked to the place that my eyes felt drawn to, and hope, so sudden and strong and needed, swept through me when my eyes settled on the man that stood only fifty feet away from me. It took all of my energy not to cry out his name.
Kayden had found me.
Nelly
When the final bell of the day sounded, relief flooded through me. Now I could go to my dorm room and think. Behind that closed door, I could stop pretending that everything was okay; I could let the mask fall off my face and more than likely cry my eyes out. The prospect almost delighted me.
However, what I really wanted to do was to think. There were plenty of items that needed my attention, and I intended to examine them one by one. I would come up with some sort of plan of action, and it would help to keep me from going nuts with worry over my sister.
Of course, it was a day for not getting what I wanted.
I knew there was a warrior waiting for me around the corner of the hallway as soon as I stepped outside of the classroom door. This is an ability I’ve just acquired recently, but it isn’t really something I control. It’s more like an alarm system that lets me know when a mind that is near me is paying me particular attention. I glanced down the opposite hallway, considering going out of my way to avoid him. But, I knew that would just prolong the inevitable, because this warrior was here to take me to see the Queen.
I took a deep breath, and rounded the corner where he waited. He stepped into my path so abruptly that I had to take a step back so as not to collide with him. “Miss Montgomery?” he asked.
I nodded.
“If you would please follow me, your presence has been requested by the Queen.”
I was too distressed to even think about acting surprised. I just nodded again and held a hand out, indicating for him to lead the way. He turned on his heel and marched off down the hall. I might have giggled at his uptight attitude if I weren’t so nervous about this meeting with the Queen. And, I was super nervous, because I knew two things; that it was about Alexa, and that I was going to have to lie.
I don’t like lying, but that wasn’t the problem, because I had no trouble with doing it for my sister. The problem was that the Queen was a Searcher. And from what I’d gathered on the few occasions I’d encountered her, she was a pretty powerful Searcher. I had no doubts that if she thought that I was lying for Alexa, she would try to Search me. I could probably stop her from doing it, but inability to access me would raise her suspicion. I’d glimpsed her mind before, on that first day Alexa, Jackson and I had come to Two Rivers, and it’s strong. Strong enough that I knew she had come across very few with the ability to keep her out of their heads.
So, I was pretty sure that whatever happened next was going to be… interesting.
Alexa
There is no feeling that is comparable to that of being truly lost. I don’t mean lost in the woods, or desert, but lost in the way that only can happen internally. Lost to the deepest, blackest pit of your soul, clinging to ghosts of past times, when you thought you knew who and what you were.
When this happens, you have two choices; you can give in to your darkest inclinations, and accept what you are, or you can fight, knowing that it is a losing battle, that the good half of your soul is strong, but can never erase the bad part. This is a battle I know well, but in that moment, as I stood in some insignificant rest stop parking lot, drenched with rain from head to toe, I came very close to giving up. I came very close to ending my fight. Even now, I shudder to think what would have become of me if he hadn’t shown up.
But, like a perfectly wrapped gift from God, Kayden was there. From this distance, the wonderful feeling his presence always brings to me was just a small tingling in my chest, but feeling anything at all was so beautiful in that moment that my eyes instantly began to burn with unshed tears.