LAST CALL FOR ALCOHOL
Healing a Marriage Harmed by Alcohol Abuse
By Susan Martinez
Copyright © 2001 Susan Martinez
ISBN 0-9716076-0-5
SMASHWORDS EDITION
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All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, recording or otherwise, without the prior written permission of author. Contact the publisher at: blackbelt@tjsusan.com.
Please Be Advised
This book contains the author’s personal ideas for healing from addiction. It is not an accredited recovery program. Consult a chemical dependency counselor or facility for information on accredited recovery programs. The author and the publisher do not guarantee outcomes, nor accept responsibility for the results of suggestions made in this book.
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DEDICATION
This book is dedicated with enormous love to my parents, Jack and Nora Borden.
Without their example I would never have known that true love between a husband and a wife was really possible. May your reunion in heaven be as blessed as your union on earth!
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CONTENTS
Higher Power Poem
Preface
Introduction
1. WHAT THE LITTLE GIRL SAW
How children are affected by alcoholism
2. FIRST CALL TO ALCOHOL
Taking that first drink
3. FATEFULLY YOURS
Choosing an addicted mate
4. ON THE LIP OF INSANITY
Life with an alcoholic
5. LOSING MY INSPIRATION
Losing your role model
6. THE MILLENNIUM’S END
Hitting rock bottom
7. ON THE WAGON
Getting and staying sober
8. THE NAKED TRUTH ABOUT SUFFERING
Still hurting after your mate is sober
9. EXORCIZING THE DEMONS
Healing your body, mind, and spirit with prayer, meditation, and walking
10. THE LIONESS WITHIN
Reclaiming your lost sense of self
11. JUST WHEN YOU THOUGHT IT WAS OVER
Handling relapse
12. HOW SWEET THE MADNESS
Slipping without hitting rock bottom
13. REHAB IS FOR QUITTERS
Getting help from professionals
14. THESE THINGS I LEARNED
Creating something wonderful
15. LIFE WITHOUT ALCOHOL
6 healthy reasons not to drink
16. KIDS & BOOZE
Helping your children avoid alcohol addiction
Acknowledgments
About the Author
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HIGHER POWER
Higher Power, Mighty Star
How I wonder who You are.
Up above us all so high
Like an Icon in the sky.
What on earth were You thinking
When You gave me a man who loves drinking?
Were all my good deeds forgotten
Or was my karma all that rotten?
Higher Power, Mighty Star
Sometimes I wonder where You are.
Why have You left me stranded here
With a man who loves me less than beer?
Copyright © 2000 Susan Martinez
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PREFACE
Once there was a little girl who was raised to hate alcoholics. And when she grew up, she married one.
This is a story about a marriage that never should have happened, lasted, or triumphed. It contains all the elements found in an R-rated movie: sex, violence, crime, rampant addiction, out-of-control emotions, a colorful Latin hero, a spirited blonde heroine, a villain named Lord Alcohol, and dazzling angels.
It’s my story. If it were made into a movie, Antonio Banderas and Cameron Diaz might be playing the lead roles. Or maybe Lucy and Desi…
Alcohol was an unwelcome guest in my home for six years, like a parasite that attempted to suck the life out of us. But my husband and I--with help from some friends in High Places--stopped it.
This book is based on actual events and real people. I haven’t even changed the names to protect the innocent. It’s not a fairy tale, not a flimsy romance novel, not a recovery book. Last Call for Alcohol is the culmination of experience and experiments. It offers my ideas and suggestions for recovering from the harmful effects of another person’s alcoholism, and for living a healthier, alcohol-free lifestyle.
If you find peace, joy, healing, or any other positive results from trying one or more of the suggestions, then we all win. I like to think of Last Call for Alcohol as a spiritual adventure, which is how I also like to think of my life, so far.
It’s funny to me how we end up doing things we swore we’d never do, in my case, writing a book about recovering from alcohol abuse when I don’t even drink alcohol. Even in my hungriest days as a writer, you couldn’t pay me to write about this topic. Then one day, I knew I had to write a book about this subject, even though I am not a professional or expert in this field. My expertise lies in personal experience and contemplation.
In this book, I describe my scary adventure through the sunless streets of fear, self-doubt, and delusion, and my emergence into the sweet valley of sanity, sobriety, and true relationship with my mate.
It’s about being fully human and fully spiritual; about resurrecting the dead, namely a dead or dying sense of Self. It’s about transforming your suffering into something peaceful, joyful, and beautiful; and about having a loving, playful, alcohol-free marriage in a world that adores and often needs alcohol. Sober doesn’t mean dull and boring. It’s about beating improbable odds, and becoming a torch-bearer for others walking or staggering down the dark, twisted path called Addiction Alley.
So far, I admit that my life has been a somewhat bumpy, but interesting ride. Understanding my husband’s horrendous disease has made me love, understand, and not be so quick to judge people. I learned to forgive human frailties, even my own.
Through it all, I believe that I evolved as a human being. Yes, I may have grown up hating alcoholics, but I ended up deeply loving one. This is our true love story. May your story also have a happy, hopeful ending. And like the lotus, may you grow sweetly even in the muddiest waters.