EMERGING INTO
THE LIGHT
By
Joan O. McGregor
© Copyrighted by: Joan McGregor Enterprises
March, 2010
P. O. Box 413,
Port Hope, ON
L1A 3Z3
905-885-9213
ISBN 987-0-096586-0-4
Published by High Vibration Publications at Smashwords
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
To God.
To the Spirits who have helped me on my journey.
To Mary Gowland who taught me to begin.
To those who edited this for me.
To all who have walked with me in this search for my own truths and their truths as well.
DEDICATION
To those who love God.
The Light Keepers’ Way
We have come together
Connected are we five
Our purpose is very clear.
To spread love and light
To others far and near
We form a circle that
Cannot be broken
(No Matter Where We Are)
It is HIS word and HE HAS SPOKEN
Love to: Joan, Gail, Sharon and Lisa
From “Ma” – Margaret
UP, UP, TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN
Up, up, to the top of the mountain
Ever my ways shall be
There’s a treasure of peace and glory
And it’s waiting up there for me.
There will be others who will walk this pathway
And we’ll share the road for a while.
But, if they choose another direction
I’ll bid them farewell with a smile
For the path is long and weary
With pitfalls along the way;
And I know I’ll be tempted
To sit by the side and stay
But onward my spirit shall urge me
For the end of the path is near
And sound of the angels rejoicing
Is falling on my ear;
And when my journey is over
There on the summit, I’ll see
My Saviour and all His glory
For He’s waiting up there for me.
This poem was written by Kay Rollings, in June of 1979, and she has given written permission for its use.
PROLOGUE: My Journey to Becoming a Light Keeper
The original title of my book was, “I Heard the Chocolate Mousse Cake Call My Name.”
That title comes from a long time ago – back to the mid 1980’s. I was attending the Toronto Psychic Fair at the International Centre on Airport Road in Toronto. Right next to the hall where the show was held was a wonderful Red Lobster Restaurant.
Tony Melle and I had packed our booths into my van. We decided to eat at the Red Lobster before we headed home.
Our waiter, a young man whom I shall call Jeff (I am not sure of his name by this time) was excellent at his job. He joked with us – laughed with us and served us very well. After we had eaten our main meal, he brought us the dessert tray.
All of the desserts looked wonderful. As we looked at them, we wanted to eat one of each. I said to Jeff, “How do you stand working so close to these desserts all day? Don’t you just want to eat all of the chocolate mousse cake?
Jeff replied, “Well, sometimes it beckons to me. Sometimes it calls my name and then, well- He left the rest of his story to our very active imaginations.
The events that occurred in my life, along with my own spiritual growth and curiosity drew me to the psychic/metaphysical world just as the chocolate mousse cake beckoned us sugar fiends and chocoholics.
CHAPTER 1: MY BEGINNINGS
I have no early childhood memories of seeing or hearing anything unusual. If I had seen any “coloured lights” or spirits or anything that was not material and of this earth and/or vibration, I would have been stopped right away. I remember being told, “Don’t be so silly. It is just your imagination - nothing real.” I do know that my Aunt Arva (who is five years older than I am and is like a sister to me) just told me to not tell anyone about any experiences that I had. She reminded me often to make sure that I got the idea of secrecy. (like about every five minutes for a week.)
I am now a Reverend in the Spiritualist Church so all of my knowledge and experiences are out in the open, well perhaps not all. I am very drawn to write more books so there must be more to tell.
My mother was a very kind woman, who treated everyone as she would like to be treated. She was very spiritual in her thinking and in her actions. Very few people can have the wonderful, consistent support system I did. As long as she
lived, mom was always there for me. She loved me no matter what I did or what happened in my life. She encouraged me to do my very best in everything that I attempted. When I goofed up (as I often did) she would comfort me with tea and toast. Her gentle words would then encourage me to try again until I felt that I had done the best that I could.
Each of my parents had been given an enforced Religious upbringing. My mother was raised in a strict Baptist atmosphere. I know that my dad taught Sunday school and was a staunch member of the United Church of Canada when he was a young man. After marriage, neither one of them pursued any religion that I remember.
My dad said once that all of the churches had their hands out for money all of the time no matter how poor a person was. At any rate neither parent went to church, or talked about faith. It was clear to me that they didn’t encourage questions in this area, so I didn’t ask. It was up to me if I went to Sunday school or church. I chose to do both. I enjoyed the services; in time I became a Sunday school teacher, the leader for the C.G.I.T. Canadian Girls in Training (similar to Girl Guides)
I got to go camping (although it was in cabins and not tents) and met a lot of interesting fellow leaders. It was a great experience for me.
Some of the friends from that time are still my friends now! These friends, Thelma, Carole, and Joan still keep in touch with me. Several years ago they suggested that we get together while we still could. We have spent a few fun weekends together. Our personalities haven’t changed. These ladies are like the sisters I was not blessed with; they will be like that to me forever.
My Grandfather Judd (my mother’s father) lived his faith. When his children were still at home, he was very strict about how they acted. There was a religious ceremony including a prayer and hymn at the farm each morning. No one had told me this (that I remember), but I knew that, when I visited, if I did not kneel on the rough board floor during the prayer, I would not be given any breakfast.
Grandpa read from the Bible, we sang a hymn and then he gave his prayer. His prayer was longer than most sermons in church are, now.
When it was my turn to choose a hymn, I would choose the longest hymn that I could find in the book. I was far too young to realize that I was only putting off the inevitable long prayer by choosing the long hymn. When I was seven, I spent the summer at the farm. My cousin, Diane, who is five years younger than I, played the pump organ with me when Grandpa was doing his chores.
We were not tall enough to pump and play the pump organ at the same time, so we took turns. One day, Grandpa came back earlier than we expected and caught us. We were so frightened that, I guess, it was funny. Grandpa laughed. We were a lot more careful about checking to see how far he was with his chores before we played the pump organ. We could play “Jesus Loves Me” and “Jingle Bells”
He was a man who knew the Bible back to front. In later years when I wrote to him about troubles in my life, he would give me Bible verses to read – the ones he thought would give me faith and hope. His children may not have agreed with all his life choices, but each held a respect for him and for his ways.
My grandfather often talked about peoples of other lands. He taught me to sing Jesus Loves Me in Chinese. I thought that was wonderful. He had not ever met any black, or oriental people. He had not travelled much. Travel was not easy then.
When I moved to Toronto to work I attended one of the churches near where I lived. I had become disillusioned with the attitudes of some of the people in the church in my home town. They talked about what people wore and how they combed their hair. I believed, and still do that God doesn’t care what we wear – only that we are in his house. The people seemed so cold and unfriendly in that city that I only attended church once. For many years my only contact with any church was attending weddings, funerals and christenings.
* * *
Inherited
Many who are involved with the psychic field claim that their ancestors, sometimes for generations back, were psychic. Some even claim to be the seventh son of a seventh son, or the fourth daughter of the fourth daughter.
As far as I can find out, I am the first one in my family in any generation who has psychic - spiritual gifts, or has admitted to being blessed in this way.
I would imagine that in a family which included mediums or other metaphysical people, it would make sense that the offspring would have more of a chance to know about gifts they may posses, and to learn to develop and use them earlier in their lives.
My Grandfather Judd did speak of some ghosts that he had seen. I remember feeling happy when Grandpa talked about his experiences while we sat beside the old wood stove. He seemed to think that ghosts and spectres were natural and thus not to be feared or made a lot of fuss over.
I really don’t think that any psychic or metaphysical gifts in a person would be stronger.
if there were ancestors who worked with their gifts. It doesn’t seem to make a difference in one’s abilities. I am not just speaking about me, but of the abilities of students that I have helped to develop.
I notice psychic/spiritual gifts in each of my children and grandchildren. My son is a medium who is also a natural healer. I am happy that he is working with his gifts.
My older daughter is a medium and healer. Her message bearing, lecturing and healing abilities are well known in the Spiritualist churches in Ontario.
My younger daughter is a working mom, wife, and taxi (mom’s taxi). Sherry is a gifted medium who is now taking and explaining spirit photos. She is becoming known for her insight into photos she has taken. Don’t tell her that she is psychic; she gets cross! One day perhaps she will acknowledge her gifts and maybe even use them more.
This is always a choice that any medium has when approached by spirit to accept messages. We each have the right to accept or refuse.
There is always a choice that any medium has when approached by spirit to accept messages. We each have the right to accept or refuse.
My eldest grandson is an excellent roofer who may be opening his own business soon. Brent and his former fiancé Jen have a wonderful little boy named Connor who is growing like a bad weed. He is not, of course spoiled at all.
A lot has changed in Brent’s life. He is still a great worker with a lot going for him. He and Jen couldn’t make it. That is really too bad….
Scott (second eldest grandson) is a head announcer at 107.3 Kool in Victoria B.C. Who knows where his abilities will take him next? Last Thanksgiving Scott announced his engagement to Crystal.
Sandy is a nursing assistant and animal care specialist in Calgary. If there is romance in Sandy’s life, she isn’t telling us so far. Sandy always could keep a secret if she needed to.
Tom is a chemical engineer and is working with modern technology as a prospector! The company he works for receives huge amounts of rock. Tom and his fellow workers estimate the amount of useable minerals which are present it the rock samples. His fiancé Celeste is going to school to become a nurse.
Hailey Joan, their daughter, is now five. She is wonderful. She is such an intelligent alert child that it is great to see her as she learns more and more about our world.
Amanda has started back to school. Babysitters for her son Tyson, are paid for by social services so that she can place her life back on track. She is not sure of eventual goals. She is nearly done the requirements for Grade 12! Go Amanda!
Amanda had a choice to take a co-op and then go out to work. She chose to stay in school and work to increase her marks so that she can go to community college to become a prison guard. I am very proud of her new ambitions.
Steven has taken some time off between High School and College. I heard recently that he has found a full time job in construction. That should help him with his future goals in life.
Kevin and Rachael are both doing well in school. One is in grade 10, one in grade 11. Each one is different and beautiful in his or her own way. Time will tell whether they choose to develop and use whatever spiritual/psychic gifts have been given to them. There is a time in life for everything. Each stage of living should be dealt with materially before the spiritual aspects can be considered. One’s material life needs to be somewhat settled before the spirit light can freely flow through.
I am very happy that my children and I know how to help guide the next generation. We make no big fuss about spiritual/psychic experiences. They are accepted as a natural part of living. We teach them to protect their energy, nothing more.
Should you have a child who has a psychic experience, listen to them. Talk to them as if their experience is perfectly normal. Do not ignore what they see, feel or hear but do not overemphasize what has happened. Their experiences should be considered as a normal part of life, which they truly are. You could keep a record of their experiences for them to have later in life.
Teaching them protection of their aura energy is extremely important. You need to do this in a way that the child can understand and relate to according to their age. It would be wise to let the child decide what they feel would protect them, and for them to create that protection for themselves.
Their choice should be private with them. They should only have to tell anyone about their protection if they feel that they wish to do so. Make it fun and they will not forget.
Remember that a child needs to grow and learn. It is very important that they enjoy a “normal” childhood. Puberty is a very difficult time both physically and emotionally for every person in this world.
No child needs the added stress of trying to understand their own metaphysical abilities at a time when so many mental, physical and emotional changes are occurring. With maturity will come more understanding of the material world so that they can handle how their life is different compared to friends and fellow students.
In some cases fathers and sons will do an excellent job at the same occupation. In other families the total opposite is true. There is no common rule.
When you think of some of the children of movie stars who have attempted to follow in a parent’s footsteps, you find that some of them have had great accomplishments. On the other hand many of them have found a better suited occupation. Each one of us needs to find our niche in life. It does follow that that psychic/ spiritual parents may tend to have offspring who may follow their beliefs and lives, or not.
I would have to conclude that having ancestors who are psychic or posses other metaphysical gifts would not necessarily mean that the offspring would be really good at metaphysical things, or not. It is possible that the offspring of such a home would be psychic but not because it is inherited.
CHAPTER 2: PLAYING WITH TOOLS
Tools of Divining
As a young woman I lived in the country near Kirkland Lake, Ontario. I didn’t drive. My husband, Don and my children – Jim, Lori and Sherry lived in a small town named Dane. It really didn’t qualify as a town. There was no store, no post office, and no pub. It was a nice little settlement. Once the neighbourhood children had gone to school and our work was done, the time weighed very heavily on the hands of us “stay-at-home” mothers.
I have always been a person who loves to read. One day, when I was in the Library in Kirkland Lake, I found a book on tea leaf reading and one on reading playing cards. I took them off the shelf and signed them out to bring them home with me. I read them and studied them until I had memorized everything from cover to cover. I had so much fun learning the meanings then doing the readings for other people.
It amazed how me how much these tea leaves, or little pieces of cardboard could tell about someone’s future life and hopes.
The results were fun and interesting at first. Things began to happen like I predicted. People were calling and coming over with stories about the occurrences of things we had discussed. I had no clue about the philosophy that I should have been using to work with these ideas.
There isn’t anything wrong with learning what the book tells you about meanings and working with readings. It is, however, necessary that you and your clients understand that readings done in this way should not be taken seriously.
You could receive some positive and helpful things, but the odds of that happening are really slim.
First of all, I read all of the information about how and why to use each of these tools. The idea of using tea or playing cards to try and do a reading for someone totally enticed me. I learned to count by playing crib with a deck of cards when I was six. My English background likely led to tealeaf readings.
I remember my mother being furious with my grandmother who introduced me at a very young age to the use of sugar and cream in my tea. Mother didn’t mind me drinking the tea. She minded the addition of sugar and cream. My mother’s background was German and French. I am not sure where the clear tea thing came from.
I worked with the book on playing cards. The meaning of each card was a challenge. As I was memorizing, I worked with some of the layouts given by the book. The only way to learn meanings of any cards is through memorizing them. It is well worth your time. This was a labour of love. Each moment was filled with challenge and adventure. What fun!! What were formerly long, boring, days took on a whole new meaning.
When I felt that I was able, I began to work doing readings for others using the playing cards. I was amazed at the accuracy of the information that appeared. Fascinated by every part of the reading, I worked often with the cards. My neighbours and friends enjoyed finding out what showed for their futures.
Eventually, I began to realize that if the client or I shuffled more than once in one sitting, the readings that resulted were confusing and could even give opposite information. At that point, I began to limit the number of times that I would read for any one person. I set the time at two weeks between readings. Later on I was to increase the time in between readings by quite a lot.
People should not need a reading until about three months have passed after the first reading. There are exceptions to this rule. In times of extreme fear, grief, or confusion a person may need some help from a reader more often. If there are readings too close together, the information would start to be repetitive.
Before long I became bored with reading the playing cards. They are, after all, only pieces of cardboard with pictures and symbols on them. The results were interesting, and often very accurate. I wished to try something else. I began to read and memorize the tealeaf book. The particular book that I was reading had information about the origin of tea and also the “proper preparation” of the pot.
There was also some information about the responsibility in doing a reading. I learned how important it is that you convey the information gently and truthfully. Drama is not necessary but sometimes adds to the fun, especially when the news is good!
You must also tell the truth even if the news is not good. You will learn ways in which you can tell someone what is coming and bring them some ideas as to what they can do to perhaps change the outcome. You also can tell news without upsetting them.
I began to read tea-leaves for the ladies who usually came to my home for coffee. Tea drinking became a part of most visits. The ceremony of preparing the tea was fun. It seemed to give the reading more power or more clout somehow. It seemed to give more importance to the reading in some way.
I found this was a great way of looking for future information. It felt totally different than working with the cards. Finding the images as described in the book was such fun. Also it was fun to see images that were not described in the book and to try to decipher their possible meanings.
Now, that was strange. My personal list of words grew bigger and bigger. Any person reading tea leaves would find this happening.
I began to find that I would think I had seen a certain symbol in the cup, then tell the lady about it, only to look back and find it wasn’t there at all. Now, I wondered what was going on. How could a symbol appear and then, when I looked again, be gone? What was I losing my mind? I sort of doubted that but it sure caused me to be more and more interested in the leaves and their messages.
Increasingly often one of the ladies would telephone or come over to tell me that what I had seen in the cup had, indeed, happened. Now-I wondered how these simple tea leaves could be so accurate. This was, after all, just the dregs left once tea had been consumed. I had no idea of intuition or pre-cognition at that time. The tea-leaf readings filled a lot of time during the winter months. It was as much fun as reading the playing cards, if not more. One day I was doing a bit of a tealeaf reading for myself.
It is well known that a reader should not ever read for him or herself. For some reason there seemed to be less accuracy when I read my own tea leaves than when I read someone else’s cup. Looking into my cup, I could see a dock and water with some cattails. A clock appeared (a clock often shows death coming. The hands were at 2:00. I had no way to know if this was a.m. or p.m.
The tea leaves appeared very faintly in the cup. This would mean that the message was for someone besides me, usually a close friend or relative.
I did know that there was very likely a death visiting someone close to a friend or relative of mine.
Next day, my friend Laurie called to say that her uncle had died at 2:00 p.m. near a dock and some cattails. I became fearful. At this time in my evolution I did not understand that I had not caused the events to happen, but had foreseen them.
That day I put the tea-leaves away, and would no longer do any readings with them.
It was to be many years before I once again looked seriously at anything to do with “readings” or the metaphysical world. At this time, I had no knowledge of the philosophies that are so important for an honest and sincere reader. I am so thankful that I did not hurt anyone by what was foretold. The misreading of symbols and messages can cause so much damage in a client’s life.
I now know that it is not wise to try to do a reading for yourself. Your hopes, fears and wishes can interfere with the actual messages that are being given to you. You could make any symbol or sign say what you wish it to say, rather than the actual truth.
It is better for you and for your client if you can learn to read and know true messages before you begin to use any of the tools. Each set of reading tools has a set of meanings. A person new to working with messages accepts the difficult job of learning each new set of tools that he/she approaches. If you learn to use your intuitions, visions and feelings before you begin to use any tools your client will receive a much more accurate reading.
The channelling of energy is much more true and accurate than any tools could be. The public sometimes need to see some object. A deck of cards or some tea leaves can be something that they are used to seeing and therefore not threatening.
There are many different tools that can be used to search for information for a reading. Many times a tool will choose the person, rather than the person choosing the item. It is best for a reader to not become too dependent on any divining tool. The purely transmitted energy gives the most accuracy.
When you find a tool-, or tools you wish to use, learn everything about each tool that you have chosen. There are a lot of books out there from which to learn. Always remember that your “gut instinct” or intuition is as important as any meaning of any set of tools that you may use.
Here is a list of some of the tools that I know about and have worked with over many years.
Crystals: Some readers give the client a group of different sorts and sizes of crystals to hold. The client then places them in a pattern of his/her choosing. The reader gives a reading by placement, colour, and shape of crystals as well as by the energy that he/she feels in the crystals after the client has held them.
Crystal Ball: The use of the crystal ball is a craft that has been used for centuries. The crystal ball is placed in a position so that shadows and lights won’t affect it. I wrap the crystal ball in a piece of velvet so that light and shadow will not affect it.
It is covered completely, and then uncovered enough that the client may place his/her hands on the ball. I then look into the ball and give the client the pictures and messages that I find in the crystal. Different people would probably have other methods of working with a crystal ball. I find that I don’t like to use the crystal ball because of the intense energy that exists in its centre.
If I focus too strongly on the center of a crystal ball, I find myself in the picture. I don’t feel comfortable about getting back out of the energy easily. This is, therefore, something that I do not use for divining.
Playing Cards: A deck; which is energized and used only for doing readings; gathers a positive energy from the reader. The meanings of the cards are important. It is vital (in my thinking) that the reader use “gut instinct” or “intuition” in determining the extent of the reading. Do not allow anyone to play card games with your divining deck.
Tarot Cards: The meanings of the cards must be memorized. There is no substitute for memory work. When layouts are done the use of intuition or gut instinct is very important. Each deck of tarot is somewhat different. A good basic deck is the Ryder-Waite deck. Once you have mastered it you can find the basic meanings of any tarot deck that exists.
Runes: There are wooden, stone, glass and crystal runes. The runes were used to determine direction by the Vikings. More and more readers are using runes to do readings. Their specific meanings must be learned, as well as the combined meanings of how the runes fall.
Many countries claim to have been the original makers and users of the runes. We only know that they have been used in divining for a long, long time.
There are many sets of tools out there. Sometimes it seems to me that there are more and more tools in existence every year or half year.
If you have a creative side to you, you can create a system of your own. I’ve done that a few times but have wound up not using my own system as I soon got bored.
CHAPTER 3: NEAR DEATH EXPERIENCES
There have been many books written about “near death” experiences. A professor who had such an experience began to talk about it to students, only to find out that many of them had had similar events in their lives. He began to record their stories. The charts that he made showed many similar experiences among them.
If you have had an experience in any way like this one, look in libraries or second hand bookstores for some of the books that have been written on the topic.
No matter what faith a person espouses – even agnostics – all have seen a being of light. All have seen a tunnel in which energy was moving spirally. Often spiralling rainbow colours are seen in the tunnel as well. In each description there has been a dividing object: a bridge, a set of steps, a door, etc. The person knows that if they pass over or through the obstacle, they will not be returning to this lifetime here on earth.
Over the years, I have experiences about four near death experiences. The following was the first and perhaps the most dramatic.
In the spring of 1968, I found out that I was pregnant. We had not planned on having another child for many reasons. I would have loved to have more children but my health made that idea a poor one. I am a person that knows of the life within me early in a pregnancy. My love for my new children became a part of my daily life. Yes, I did know that there were two lives within me. I knew exactly when they began life
As the pregnancy progressed, I was often quite ill. My parents came and took my two daughters back to Southern Ontario with them for a while. My son was in school so that he had to stay with me. Somehow, I managed to do what needed to be done for him and for my husband, Don.
I was quite ill during this time. It was all I could to take care of the necessities in my home. These simple chores took me double the usual time to get them done.
One night I woke up to find something terribly wrong happening to me. I would have been about five and one half months into the pregnancy. My husband, Don, rushed me to the hospital in Kirkland Lake.
During that night, I lost the twin boys that I was carrying. Emotionally, this was a terrible time for me. Whenever I had been pregnant, I had carried the babies to birth. What had I done wrong? Why had this happened? My self-torture was phenomenal.
I lost fluid very quickly, and dramatically. No one on duty at the hospital could start an I.V. Someone was awakened who was able to help me. It was soon discovered that, as well as the fluid that I was receiving, I needed blood very badly. I felt very weak, and strange. Suddenly it felt as if I was floating above the bed. I experienced no fear, only a strange lightness.
Here I was, up in the corner of the room, looking down at my still body on the bed. I heard voices that said, “It is time to come with us, now.” I realized that these spirits and lights were all around me in the darkness.
As I looked further ahead a beautiful tunnel with rainbow coloured lights spiralling around it gently appeared before me. At the far end of the tunnel, I could see a walking bridge, and then a shining figure that seemed to entirely glowing, pulsing, white light. This beautiful entity emitted compassion, love and encouragement toward me.
A part of me really wanted to go to talk to that energy, and become a part of the peace and joy that I sensed would be there for me. The draw towards the being of light was strong, but gentle. The knowledge was within me that, should I cross the footbridge that I saw, I would be gone from this world for this lifetime. I felt that I should take that walk toward the being of light.
Torn between completing this journey and my responsibilities as a mother, I didn’t know what I should do. The beauty and freedom from care ahead of me was so tempting. The mother won out and I asked if I could have time to raise my children. They seemed to be so young and defenceless.
I was aware of looking down from the ceiling at the body in the bed. A lot of doctors and nurses were crowded around the bed, all looking down at my body. I found out later that they were the people from two shifts. It was shift change time.
Like magic, I was in my body once again. I opened my eyes and smiled at the people who were standing around me. One of the doctors smiled back at me, and then scribbled out what he had been writing on my chart.
There were two reasons for the number of doctors and nurses. One was that it was shift change. The other is that I was one of the serious cases in the hospital. I really think that they thought that I was dead until I opened my eyes and looked at them.
My energy was very low, and I was very weak. It was to be many months before my physical strength fully returned. The surgical procedure that was required passed quickly. I cried as I was taken up to the surgery. I was very frightened because of my near death experience. I just seemed to need a lot of sleep. Broken dishes or spilled drinks no longer upset me.
I was only concerned in case someone had been injured or frightened. No longer was I so concerned about making sure that the house was as clean as I could make it. Material things came to be less and less important to me. I was so much happier.
My ex-husband seemed to still be very grouchy and unhappy. He was as bad as ever – perhaps even worse. I did not allow him to upset me as much as he had been able to in the past.
Time was often taken to play with my children, now. I understood that they would be little for such a short time. Often, my housework took a back seat to enjoying them and their needs and wants. (ha ha!! Boy, what an excuse. It worked for me, and for them.)
I did notice, however, that each of the “near death” experiences marked a major spiritual and material change in my life and in my attitudes. I became a kinder person, with more patience. I learned to de-stress my life. One of my favourite phrases became (and still is) “phooey on it.”
I have experienced such freedom in my thinking. Worry has become a thing of the past. It is very rare that worry can encompass me. What a free way to live. I know that my loved ones and I shall be taken care of as needed.
Should you have had a near death experience of any sort, write me a letter or an email. I am trying to get information about such experiences for my own research.
CHAPTER 4 : MOVING SOUTH – STARTING TO LEARN
In 1970 my husband lost his job for health reasons and we moved to Southern Ontario. During those first few years in southern Ontario, Don changed jobs a lot so we moved often. My health was so bad that I had a miscarriage, a minor surgery, and then a major surgery all in one year.
My health and the care of my family needed had to come first. I was, therefore, living one day at a time until I healed. For the first few years after our move south, life was very materially focused as it had to be. Our debt load alone caused that bundle of problems that we had to deal with.
After several tries, Don found a good job in Colborne. We moved there to be closer to his work. In time, I found new friends and acquaintances. A whole different life began to emerge. Many of these new people that I found, or that found me, were interested and curious about psychic and spiritual topics. There are really no coincidences. It was time for me to begin to progress along my spiritual pathway.
I was to learn that there are many people like me with sensitive feelings and emotions and with knowledge of people’s thoughts and feelings. I had to learn to shut that off. I didn’t want to begin telling people their thoughts and feelings instead of their future possibilities.
Our meetings over coffee or tea covered all sorts of problems in our lives. We often solved all of the problems of the world in our little coffe club.
Shared problems bring a smaller burden. Sometimes one of us would have an idea that would help another’s situation. More and more often our conversations would turn to information about the unknown and different. We talked about spirits and spiritual areas of life.
Most of the new friends were spiritual, honest people. It was like a new world to me. One good friend was Joyce Semlitch. Joyce helped me a lot through that time in my life.
She basically dragged me to the Spiritualist Church in Oshawa. My disappointment with churches in general almost kept me away.
My question was, “If there is a God is that Entity interested in me and my life?”
Some of these ladies regularly took advantage of psychic readings with psychics that they knew or had heard about from other friends or acquaintances. They frequently talked about predictions that had come true. All of us were curious and interested in the messages received by these ladies. We all wondered why some of the predictions came true exactly as given, while others didn’t ever happen, or happened much later than expected.
Eventually, I went with one or more for a reading. I was told so many interesting things that did happen in my future that I was fascinated.
Actually, there are still questions by clients, and by readers about accuracy, and about timing in a reading. We are dealing with a very inexact science, in which communication is very difficult, for both sides.
One description of contact from spirit is this – You take a ladder and you put it up against a building. You need to be at the top of this building (only the highest and the best). Your ladder is in place and you begin to climb. Suddenly the house has disappeared. I ask those of you who work with messages if this is not how the reception seems to be?
Sometimes what we read as “happening” can change, or be changed by circumstances, or by the client. We all have the free will to make our choices. Clients cannot always change the future but need to remember that part of the purpose of some of the readings is that you have the power to change the outcome or at the very least try to change a negative message into a positive one. We can also be mistaken in how we read information we are given.
No one who is working with predictions is one hundred percent accurate. I have noticed that those who claim a high percentage of accuracy are not around the circuit (in the public) for long.
This reinforces the idea that anyone having a reading should use what he or she can from the reading right away, but should keep the tape and listen to it from time to time. Using the reading in this way gives more to the client than just listening to it and then throwing it away. However, they should not live by what they have been told.
We all became close friends, some closer than others, of course. Often one of them would tell me how psychic I was or that I should try to do more with my potential gifts. I listened to them, and mostly ignored what they had to say. I was nervous and frightened by what I could know. Fear is our enemy and I was full of many fears in that time of my life.
One of my very close friends often encouraged me to tell her things that I felt about our world, and about our friends. This was Joyce that I mentioned earlier. We talked often about this knowing and seeing and hearing that seemed to be happening more and more often in my life. I also began to notice more and more so called coincidences around me. All of the coincidences were to my benefit even though I did not realize this at the time.
More and more of my friends and acquaintances became people who had similar experiences and were questioning about them, how they came ,and what they were.
Joyce had been to a Spiritualist church, and wanted me to go along with her on one of her visits. I was not impressed with this idea because of my negative experiences with organized churches. I was not even sure if there was a God. I felt, because of my difficult life, that, if there were a God that God cared nothing for me at all.
Mary suggested that I pray. I really could see no point in praying as I didn’t think anyone would be listening. She said to me, “It won’t hurt to pray. Maybe it can help.”
Often I would make what I thought were chance remarks to friends. A few days later they would call me or come and tell me that what I had predicted had happened how and when I had said it would.
I was surprised and mystified by their remarks. How and why was I able to know these things? My natural curiosity and desire to learn more began to activate.
At this time messages came now and again. I did not ever know if I was telling something other than material information.
It all seemed the same to me. I had no way to discern what information was a message and what was my own thinking. I began to think that I needed some way to determine the purpose and origin of a message. Since I had begun to see colours in my meditation, I began to ask the guides to put red in the background if the message was of passion, blue for peace, green for money, yellow for learning and so on. This system was to be one I would use for many years until I began to hear words.
I felt really honoured because I was receiving all of the interesting information. I felt that I had no worth, and no self confidence. How could I have such valuable information coming into my mind.
My friend and I began to go to the Spiritualist Church that used to be on Bruce St. in Oshawa now and again. I felt as if I were people like me at the church. Not all of them felt safe and comfortable in energy but I could tell the people that could be a friend or companion to me. The people who attended that church were dedicated and honest.
Those who did the lectures and proof of survival seemed to be very sincere. Sometimes there would be workers who acted as if they were performing in a play, instead of being a part of a religious service. Some of the mediums seemed to be more interested in showmanship than what they were bringing in through spirit. I later learned that some of them did this as a proof to themselves that the messages came from spirit and not from their own consciousness.
Some of the speakers seemed really strange to me. I have since learned that every individual works in his or her own unique way. It is for us to try to understand. If what is said or brought to us makes no sense, we would need to take what we could out of what we were told and then go on from there.
They were the older mediums. They were following what they thought they should do in order to be true mediums. They did their work in the way they had been taught. To them, this was the correct way to lecture and bring proof.
We have learned so much. Over the years we have found that the histrionics are not necessary. Calm and steady are the attributes that we, the modern mediums, work with.
I remember a medium named Peter White. Peter had been a police officer. He was tall and huge. I remember looking at him and being happy he was no longer a police officer-- I would have been fearful if he had given me a speeding ticket! Peter was one of the workers at the church who projected a really positive energy.
Peter looked at me one Sunday when he began to do messages. He said, “My dear, around you is a beautiful golden light. “ I was scared. I mentally told whatever was around me to leave immediately.
When I got home -my daughter-Sherry (only 11 at the time) told me that I had a beautiful green light all around me. Was my own child a nut case? This was when I was, obviously, not familiar with the energies around us – in particular the aura.
More and more “coincidences” were occurring all around me. One of my children would need new clothes. I was very short of money in those years.
I would walk into a store or rummage sale and find exactly what each of my children needed. I began to realize that my life was becoming better. I didn’t give God or guides or angels any credit at this point. I just thought that I was becoming luckier.
A terrible thing happened in the little town where we lived. A young – ten year old -boy was kidnapped. He had disappeared on a school night after he left the local arena where he was practicing hockey. At first no one thought of the possibility of kidnapping. This young lad tended to take off into the bush by himself from time to time and be gone for a few days. His parents were used to this happening as were his teachers and friends.
Everyone was searching for him. Local people checked their outbuildings just in case he had somehow gotten trapped or hurt in one of them.
The school children, including my son, formed a human chain to inspect the fields and woods near my home. Most of the people that I knew were praying for his safety.
I knew that he was not going to be found in the field or woods near where I lived. I was not sure how I knew, but that was certainty in my mind.
I could not stop pacing. Suddenly, I began to feel cold in my body like I had never felt cold before. I saw a large arrow, dark with bright lights around it, flashing. The arrow pointed to the east of where I lived. The words came into my mind, “He’s in a ditch and he has been through hell.”
No matter what I tried to do to take my mind away from the messages, they continued over and over until I began to pay attention to them. I did nothing with what I had received. My fear was too strong.
I now understand that by knowing about what had happened, or by being made aware of it by spirit, my natural healing energy would have gone to him and helped him to survive until someone found him. I really hope that this is the truth.
That, at least made me happy. Somehow I was perhaps helping another person in desperate need. Where had these messages come from? I was a frequent reader of Mysteries, including the Alfred Hitchcock magazine. I didn’t know about the protection of God and Angels.
I often wonder if I could have received information that would have given the exact location of the boy if I had only had the nerve to ask. We all know that hindsight is 20/20.
Remember that, at this time, I was not sure of the sources of the information that I was receiving.
Partly from the books I read, but also from some of the terrible things in my life I believed in Hell and Devils and Demons and all sorts of things that go bump in the night. I believed in them more than I did in a God or Angels at that time.
A school bus driver looked into a ditch and saw a crumpled bundle. He stopped to see whose dog had been hit. The boy had been found. If he had been found an hour later, he would have died from exposure.
When I found out how close he had been to dying from this experience, I had to ask myself if I had the right to not ask for information to help people, especially children. I needed to find out if I could ask for help without receiving input from lower forces.
I began to realize that my life was changing significantly; new purposes and ideas began to be a part of my thinking.
I heard about the rescue on the radio. Wow! I was so happy that he had been found alive. Did I have the right to not use my gifts since I could have helped to find him sooner?
Thoughts were flying in my mind. How had I received the messages that had come to me? Were they from a positive source? They seemed to be for the good of the boy so I had to believe that they came from some person or energy that meant him well.
Somehow the messages had come to me. If the source of the news became known as positive, I should be able to receive more specific information.
To say that my mind was spinning would be to understate the case a lot.
I began to think about my life. What had I accomplished so far? I had completed grade twelve. (At that time it was a lot of education) My marriage was not happy. Trust had left. Once trust left there was not much to work with. My children were wonderful. I felt that I had done my best raising them.
I began to feel that this series of events were a catalyst to make me look at my life. I had to Consider the usefulness of my gifts. Was the Spiritualist church the place to find the answer to my needs?
I still doubted that any help for me would come through the churches. I did not believe in God at that time.
My faith took a while to manifest and grow. I am so happy that it is as strong now as it ever was.
When I am attacked in any way, I know that I need to say, “Father, forgive them for they know not what they do.”
Each of you could try to remember to use this phrase. It brings peace to hurt feelings and emotions.
I really get tired of being under attack when I have not done anything to deserve what is being said or done to me.
I asked one of the people at the church in Oshawa if there were any books that I could read to help me to learn more about this faith, and about the other worldly messages that were brought through. The gentleman in charge of the library loaned me two books. The most modern one had been written in 1931, so no up to date information could be found at that church.
I thought that older information was definitely better than no information. I began to ask for speakers at the churches that would give real information instead of their personal experiences.
When I asked the people of the church where one would find a place to train, and to learn to develop my gifts, I was told that there were circles of learning, but I would have to find my own, or create my own. The circles that were meeting were “closed” which means that they did not take in any beginners.
This made no sense to me. I needed a teacher. There was no knowledgeable person among the people that I knew. With all of us just beginning to learn, it seemed to me that this would amount to “the blind leading the blind”.
I began to say in my mind, “If I am to pursue this philosophy and knowledge I need a teacher. I need some books. Basically, I need HELP. I needed it to come from the light, to come from positive sources.”
Now that I had decided to develop my gifts (if they were strong enough to be of value – I was not sure) all sorts of obstacles were appearing before me. I did not understand that this is typical of the testing that comes to anyone who had decided to seek a spiritual pathway.It is almost as though some huge positive energy is saying, “Are you sure that you want to do this?”
My friend and I began to attend the “healing and development” service that was held in the afternoons at the Church in Oshawa. After the class in the afternoon, we would go out for supper then attend the evening or divine service. It contained lectures and proof of survival.
Sometimes the information brought forth in the lectures told me something about this area of consciousness. Other times people talked about their own experiences and life and gave no real philosophical or spiritual information. There is nothing wrong with talking about ones own experiences but I truly felt that the personal experiences could be the bread, if you like and some philosophy or natural law could be the protein in the centre of the sandwich.
We new learners need a combination of both facets of this wonderful faith. Then came the time when we heard someone speak of the church that was being held in Port Hope. When we asked for more information we were told the key contact was Mary Gowland. It is called a centre to today, however in practice and energy it was and is a Church.
The next time I was in the Metropolitan store in Cobourg, I looked for Mary. She managed the shoe department at the time. She told me that the church services were being held at the Sunshine Heights daycare in Port Hope. The daycare wasn’t open on weekends, so the church could rent the hall and use it for services. They just rented it on Sundays.
Many of the lectures that I heard were interesting. A lot of the speakers talked about personal experiences in this field. While this knowledge was helpful, I was still hoping for some pertinent information that would help me in my quest for philosophy and facts about this new energy that was around and with me. One Sunday a gentleman showed up to do the lecture and the proof of survival. When he spoke, I felt that he was a wonderful person with much to share and to teach.