You Have Chosen to Remember:
A Journey from Perception to Knowledge, Peace of Mind and Joy
By James Blanchard Cisneros
~ Smashwords E-Book Edition ~
E-Book Smashwords Edition Copyright 2012 by James Blanchard
Cisneros.
Paperback Copyright 2004, 2008 by James Blanchard
Cisneros.
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Table of Contents
The Unconscious Habitual Belief System or Ego
Dream Offered for Chapter One – The Gift
Invitation #2 - Act or Pretend to be Awake
The Physical Manifestation of the Ego-Self
Invitation #3 - The Ego's Gifts
Dream Given for Chapter Two - A Child's Game
Words of Encouragement to People Experiencing a Mental Breakdown, Depression, Crisis or Burnout
Living a Spiritually Fulfilling Life
Experiencing Your Godself in the Moment
In Search of My Godself: My First Spiritual Experience
Dream Given for Chapter Three - Who am I?
Turning Up the Volume in Your Life
Honoring Different Paths to the Godself
Invitation #4 - Experiencing Peace
Chapter Four: A Fulfilling Life
Success and the Fulfilling Life
Being On or Off Your Path: OBE Given for Chapter Four
Allow Others to Fulfill Their Dreams
Will I Ever Make a Difference?
Chapter Five: Work On Yourself First
Thought, Action, Faith and Gratitude
Thought - Align Yourself with God and Clarify the Goal
Action - Act with Unconditional Love
Faith - Trust that the Moment is Perfect
Gratitude - Give Thanks, Enjoy and Rejoice
Trusting God Through "Accidents"
Why Are There So Many Religions in the World?
Chapter Seven: Freedom Through Forgiveness
Forgiveness: The Key to Knowledge, Peace of Mind and Joy
Ego-self, Godself and Forgiveness
Invitation #5 - How to Forgive a Brother or Sister
OBE Given for Chapter Seven - Experiencing Only Love
Speaking with Anger vs. Speaking your Truth
Reacting to an Immature Action
Dealing with Negative Emotions or Feelings through the Ego-self
Dealing with Negative Emotions or Feelings through the Godself
Forgiving Parents and Other Family Members
Invitation #6 - Exchanging Pain for Peace
Chapter Eight: Being in the Now
Invitation #7 - Friend vs. Stranger
Invitation #8 - How Your Thoughts Affect You in the Moment
You're Always in the Right Place at the Right Time
Invitation #9 - Living in the Now: Four Steps to Choosing Peace on the Road
How Envy Keeps You from Living in the Moment
Chapter Nine: Choosing One's Attitude
Changing Attitudes - Expansion of Human Behavior
The Snowflake That Changed a Life
Dream Offered for Chapter Nine - The Smile
Everything Happens for Your Own Good
Chapter Ten: Taking Responsibility for Your Destiny
Taking Responsibility for Your Destiny
Bad Things: Levels of Perception
Blessing Every Step of Your Journey
Experiencing God During Difficult Situations
Be Open to Changing Directions
Wipe the Windshields Clean: Getting Clear
There are No Limits on This Road
Other Passengers in the Car: Relationships
Buckle Your Child's Safety Belt, but Don't Leave Him in the Car
You are Now on the Road of Your Choosing
Chapter Eleven: Dreams, Prayer, Out-of-Body Experiences & Meditation
Dreams, Prayer, Out-of-Body Experiences, and Meditation
My First Experience with Prayer
Invitation #10 - Reconnecting with a Loved One
Chapter Twelve: At Peace with the Afterlife
Invitation #11 - A Physical Experience of How “The Light” Feels
Making Peace with a Loved One Who Has Passed On
Invitation #12 - Obtaining Peace with a Loved One Who Has Passed On
Are People Born Gay or Is It a Choice?
Acknowledgements
I would like to thank my good friend and life coach Olaf Halvorssen. Thank you Olaf, for among many things introducing me to "A Course In Miracles” in 1991.
I would like to thank Renee Rosen for her kindness and the endurance that it took to read and review the first draft of this book.
I would like to thank my editors Jennifer Reinfeld (http://www.ReinfeldDesigns.com) and Arlene Allen-Mitchell for their discipline, professionalism and patience. I would also like to thank Jennifer for the design and management of my website, http://www.ChosenToRemember.com.
I would like to thank my Godfather Oswaldo Cisneros for his support. It is because of his work ethic that the members of our family have the freedom to follow their personal dreams.
I would like to thank my mother Linda for her continuous love and devotion.
Dedication
To the reader: My friend, it is my honor to share a part of this journey with you. This book is my soul’s reflection on paper. If you choose to read this material with an open heart and mind you may very well see your soul’s reflection, and it will not surprise you to see and feel deep inner beauty and knowledge being reflected back.
Introduction
"When you eventually see through the veils to how things really are, you will keep saying again and again, this is certainly not like we thought it was."
- Rumi
I am a simple man. I am not a so-called "expert" in any one religion or spiritual practice. In this, I believe, lies my greatest strength. It is with the desire for simplicity and the hope for eloquence that I share what offers me peace of mind and joy in the present moment. Ralph Waldo Emerson once wrote that "eloquence is the power to translate a truth into language perfectly intelligible to the person to whom you speak." I trust this book will eloquently touch that part in all of us that is the same.
My friend, there are many paths we may choose to take to achieve peace of mind and joy in the present moment. The journey is as complicated as we choose to make it, or as easy as we allow it to be. You may choose one path now, and select another one later, or you may choose more than one path at any given time. Do not concern yourself with what others say is the right, trendy, truthful or acceptable way to grow. Move toward those paths that offer you peace of mind and joy and are in alignment with your present values. Within your heart, there lies a memory of your trueself. It is this memory you search for, and it is this memory you will one day remember. Once this memory is recalled, you will find a place that you have never left.
I am not looking to "teach," for teaching implies that there is something you lack or still need to learn. Rejoice, for there is nothing you lack. There is nothing more for you to learn because all wisdom already resides within you. My aspiration is simply to assist you in remembering your true nature. Any moment that we are not at peace comes about because we have forgotten our true nature. My hope is that this book will assist you in remembering what you may have forgotten. Yet, even in forgetting there is good news and it is this: You must have known in order to have forgotten. In fact, once you begin to remember you will smile, for you will suddenly recall that, "Yes, I feel as though I have always known this; this is familiar to me. I am at peace with this information." It will feel right, and you will be at peace, for truth brings about a peaceful state. My brother and sister, all truth lies within us. We may have temporarily forgotten this, but we have now chosen to remember.
I feel very blessed to have lived the life I've lived. At the time I began this writing, I was 30 years old. Although I understand that in life I may still be considered a young man, none of the thoughts in this book are new. I have not given origin to the thoughts in this book, for all truth is already available. I have simply reorganized them in an effort to find peace of mind and joy.
I believe that anyone reading this book is reading it for a reason. I hope that there is something in this book that will speak to you, something that will go directly to your heart - the God in you. If this book facilitates your journey in any way, then I am truly honored to have been of service. Service, I once read, is love put into action. I have been reminded of my mission in this life, and it is this: to love and serve. This book is part of that mission.
I will be using the "G" word throughout this book. If you're uncomfortable with this word, please forgive me and substitute it for any idea or word you like. If you think that what I just said is blasphemous, please forgive me and continue reading. Whatever you believe or not about God is fine. It is with an open and honest heart that I respect whatever God means to you. My personal view is simply this: There is nothing in this world more valuable than faith and trust in a loving God.
So with an open heart and mind I share my thoughts. Those thoughts that resonate with you will simply reinforce what you consciously or unconsciously already know. Those thoughts which do not resonate with you - I invite you to question or simply put aside. Regardless of what you choose to do with the thoughts that are presented, I do wish you well on your journey.
Peace, health, happiness, love, laughter and light.
Your brother,
James Blanchard Cisneros
Chapter 1: The Dream
Imagine yourself in God's arms. You have fallen asleep, and you begin to dream. Some dreams take you outside your home, others to different countries, and still others to different worlds. Yet, if you were to awaken, you would still find yourself in God's arms. Regardless of the dreams you created, regardless of what you chose to believe and experience in those dreams, regardless of how scared you were, or the words you chose to use, God watched over you with everlasting love, patience and peace.
Imagine yourself smiling as you watch your children sleep. So too does God watch over you with absolute love. Regardless of what you choose to see as true, regardless of how you view Him or dream of Him, He waits patiently for you to awaken. You might scream or kick Him, but He understands that you dream, and that you are simply reacting to a dream. He embraces you with perfect love and acceptance. He strokes your head, and although you sleep, you feel His love. And deep within, although you sleep, you are grateful for His love. My friend, you will awaken. And when you do, you will awaken to a place you have never left.
Some of you have a difficult time believing that God loves you unconditionally. You may look at your life, having experienced pain, guilt, anger, suffering, envy, lust and jealousy, and ask, "How could God really love me if I am all these things and more? How could God lovingly hold me in his arms while I experience such emotions?" Remember, God is looking at you while you sleep. He also knows what you are like when you are awake. (Yes, we are still talking about God, not Santa Claus.) He created you in His image. If you choose to believe God knows you not, then allow as true that God knows Himself. If He knows Himself, then he knows His image, and if He knows His image, then He at least knows the truth about you.
God knows who you have always been, even if you don't know who you are now. My friend, we dream, and in our dreams we make ourselves into characters who can experience emotions such as pain, guilt, anger, suffering, envy, lust and jealousy. Yet, dreams and illusions are, by their very nature, temporary. In fact, our dreams are but a blink of eternity's eyes.
If you have not yet given birth to a son or a daughter, imagine creating such a being. Imagine the absolute love you would have for him or her. Now, imagine yourself suddenly judging or even hating this perfect creature because he or she chooses to blink. This is what many believe God could and is doing to us. Can you now begin to conceptualize the scale and magnitude of our illusions? God's love for us is changeless and eternal, and this life is a momentary blink in eternity's eyes. Would you judge or hate your child for blinking? Would God?
My friend, if God does not judge His creations, why would we ever want to judge them? God loves His creations, and if we do anything but love His creations, we will have a feeling of separation. The opposite of love is fear, and fear is manifested through judgment. Judgment is the basis for separation, which is the ego's goal. When we judge a brother or sister, be it in thought or action, we create a sense of separation, which then results in feelings of guilt. Inwardly, we feel guilty because we judge what God loves and sees as perfect. If we judge God’s child, then, by definition, we have judged ourselves. If we judge ourselves without knowing that we are doing so, then we create confusion. Once we experience enough confusion we create a chaotic state.
A life lived in chaos and confusion will not bring about peace of mind and joy. Our tolerance for chaos and confusion may be high, but it is not without limit. There comes a time for all of us when we say to ourselves, "There must be a better way, a better, more productive answer than chaos and confusion." And as we begin to question ourselves, we start to awaken and remember our trueselves. We realize and remember that just as confusion and chaos are the result of meeting our brothers and sisters with judgment, so too are peace of mind and joy the result of meeting our brothers and sisters with acceptance and love.
My friend, allow your brothers and sisters to experience the illusions they perceive as real. Often it is only when our brothers and sisters physically, emotionally and spiritually experience the emptiness of their actions and reactions that they realize their futility. Please understand that I'm not saying that you should not make an effort to guide your brothers and sisters in a positive direction. But be very aware of the subtle differences between guidance and control. These differences are more often than not very muddled in the ego's thought system. If asked, we may offer our brothers and sisters guidance, but we need to refrain from attachment to its outcome. Be not attached to your brothers and sisters following your direction. Look within your heart, offer support and love, and trust that His will will be done. If your brothers and sisters insist on falling, let them fall, for sooner or later they will land on their knees, and when they do they will not experience pain but relief. One of the greatest gifts you can offer your brothers and sisters is the loving space they need to fall, land on their knees and experience their perfection.
The Unconscious Habitual Belief System or Ego
Throughout this book, I will be discussing the ego because it is so intricately woven onto the fabric of our being. If we believe in limitations, separations, judgment and fear of any kind, we have bought into the illusion of reality that has been sold to us by the ego. Likewise, if we respond to any person, place or thing with judgment, sadness, negativity, stress, anxiety, annoyance or anger, know that we have bought into the same illusion. These beliefs and responses have been ingrained and reinforced in us in such a way that they have become habitual. These habits, this habitual belief system (simply referred to as the ego-self or ego) is what we use to react to our daily experiences. This habitual belief system is mostly an unconscious belief system that manifests itself as our beliefs and attitudes. These beliefs and attitudes influence our daily reactions, responses and behaviors toward ourselves, our fellow humans and the world in general. Like robots, any time we react with limitation, separation, judgment or fear, we are simply reacting as we have been programmed to. Eventually, we learn that this is not how we want to act, react, be or live. Slowly, we consciously become aware of our unconscious habitual belief system, and we can then begin to de-program ourselves. This is a time of great celebration, for as we become aware of our programming we also begin to understand the possibility of choice. We learn that we indeed have the choice of seeing things as we've been programmed to, or examining what we currently believe to see if it fits with what we truly desire. We can then choose whether we want to continue with that limited belief system or replace it with a more empowering understanding.
If we believe that we are not good enough, that we are not deserving of love, that we have limited possibilities, that we're separate from our brothers and sisters, or that fear is real, then these attitudes and perceptions have become part of our unconscious habitual belief system that we now see as our real selves. In the ego’s world there is a mass thought system, a deep-seated belief that we are unworthy, that we are not good enough, that we do not deserve happiness, and that our future and the world's future look grim. These perceptions have been programmed into us and have often become part of our belief system. We see our belief system as a reflection of our real selves - as our reality.
What we believe about ourselves, we look for and manifest in our daily experiences. This is what we allow as possibilities for ourselves, and in an unconscious way, we prove ourselves right when we experience it. It gives us a certain level of satisfaction to know that we are right, and yet, at the same time we are disturbed by what we are experiencing. This creates a level of confusion that slowly develops into a chaotic state. Most people wait for this chaotic state to manifest before they begin examining and questioning their unconscious habitual belief system. Eventually, as we look into and question our unconscious habitual belief system, we begin to recognize and remember that this is not how we want to react or behave, that this is not who we truly are. We begin to loosen our attachments to our old selves. And as we do, we begin to realize and remember that we have a choice - the choice of seeing and reacting to people and the world as we truly want to. Our old selves believed in limitations, separations, judgment and fear. We have now learned that these thought patterns are not who we are or what we want. We do not want to live in a confused or chaotic state any longer; we want to live in a peaceful and joyful state. New choices, new thought patterns begin to align themselves with our trueselves. Peace is the opposite of chaos, and in order to experience the opposite state, we must believe that its opposite is possible.
Self-Image Transformation
Self-image transformation, becoming aware of our trueselves, begins with the willingness to accept that limitlessness, unity, forgiveness and love are things we truly desire in our lives. Self-image transformation means changing the way we perceive or see ourselves. For this to occur we do not need to change what we do, we simply need to change our perception of who we think we are. We do not need to change the outside environment or how others think, act or react. We simply need to change our minds. Because it is an inner change, we have the final and ultimate decision on whether or not this is something we truly want and desire. A little willingness to obtain this is all we'll ever need.
As you'll soon recall, peace is eternally available to you. Your recognition of its availability is all that is needed for you to obtain and experience peace. As peace is eternally available to you, so too are limitlessness, unity, forgiveness and love. They are eternally available to you because these are aspects of your trueself. Again, it is simply your willingness to obtain and experience them that will allow them to manifest in your life. The more you believe them to be available to you, the more you will see them being manifested in one way or another in your life. Slowly, what you once judged, you will now forgive. Who you once feared, you will now love. What once separated you from your brother will now join you. And what once caused you confusion and chaos will now bring understanding and peace.
To experience self-image transformation, allow the negative thoughts in your unconscious habitual belief system or ego to surface. For it is in their surfacing that light will shine on them, and you'll be able to finally see and understand what they are truly offering. When you understand that you truly do not want what they offer, you will release these limited beliefs. When you release them, you will let go of all you thought you were. Finding out who you are in truth, many times, begins with the realization of who you are not.
Many people have self-esteem issues, yet even those with high self esteem limit themselves when they use the ego to measure and define their trueselves. The ego-self only allows a limited level of self-esteem. If you consider yourself to be below this limited level, the ego labels you as shy and timid, causing your fellow humans to look down on you. If you consider yourself to be above the level it sets for you, it labels you as conceited, causing others to judge and ridicule your beliefs. If you fall within the ego's "safe" level of self-esteem, it still has every brother and sister whose views differ from yours judge and question your beliefs about yourself and the world. Understand that with the ego, even when you win you lose and any victory is conditional upon your feeling guilty and unworthy of it. This is what has been taught to us. This is what you have likely accepted to be true and to be the way life is. This is what you are now realizing you do not want. The more you realize what it is you do not want, the closer you come to finding out what it is you do want.
How would you like to give up your limited ego-self and replace it with an infinite Godself? How would you like to give up nothing and get everything in return? Would you like to give up judgment and receive forgiveness, give up fear and receive love, give up separation and receive unity, give up confusion and chaos and receive peace of mind and joy? This is God's offer to you but it is your choice through free will whether to accept it or not. God offered you this when you were created. It is your inheritance. It is your essence. It is your truth. There is only one thing that you need to do to obtain everything. Offer your brothers and sisters what you want to experience. For we are all one, and what you offer to them you gift yourself.
Allow what you wish to experience to flow through you. Let forgiveness, love, unity and peace flow through you. Let these thoughts and feelings expand to your brothers and sisters. As you acknowledge that they are worthy of these thoughts, you are also secretly acknowledging that you too are worthy of them. The more these types of unlimited thoughts are allowed in, accepted and expanded, the more they will manifest in your life. The more you offer these thoughts, the more you will want to experience them. The more you experience them, the less you will want their opposites.
Being Born Into a Dream
Imagine being born into a dream - a mass illusion transformed over thousands of years by billions of people into what today we call reality. The billions of people subdivided into territories they called countries, into belief systems they called religions and into groups they called races. Countries subdivided into states, provinces and cities, which were then subdivided into neighborhoods that subdivided into buildings or single-family homes. Religions divided into conservative and liberal sects, which then grew into more conservative and liberal branches. Races divided themselves by all of the above, including color, tone, ethnic makeup and financial status.
Each group then teaches and defends that its way is the way, and its truth is the truth. And each group creates its own reality out of what it believes. Each group then tries to sell us on its current forms and laws, telling us that this is what is "right." Each teaches us that the closer we are to following its form, the happier, more successful and peaceful we will be. And somewhere deep within, we know that it is our right to be happy and to be at peace. So we buy into it, and regardless of how little sense the illusion makes, we keep participating for if we stop we will be judged as outcasts, trouble-makers or bums. We are taught that if we stop participating in the group’s way of life, our hopes for happiness, success and peace will also end. The group we are in tells us that if we go against the norm, we will not find happiness, peace or success. So we buy into the illusion the group offers us, believing that there is no other way. We carefully weave and contour the illusion into one we can live with for now. But my friend, regardless of how we choose to weave, contour and experience the illusion, it is still an illusion.
All these divisions, separations and sects continuously punish and judge each other for being different, and punish their own group members for not being the same. This makes little sense to our trueselves so we create a mask, or false self that allows us to live more comfortably in the illusion. I refer to this mask, or false self, as the ego-self. The ego-self or ego is not part of our physical bodies. The ego is a belief system within our minds. And so with our ego-selves, we shape the illusion into one we can live with. We call it reality - not our reality, but reality nonetheless. We defend this reality with all our might, for if it fails, we believe that so too will our chances at happiness, success, peace and joy.
The Dream of Separation
One of the ego's favorite games in this dream is the idea of separation. It teaches that we can find true peace of mind and joy through separation. It wants us to believe in the idea of separation so that it can serve as our only guide. The ego wants us to see it as valuable and useful, for it has trained us to discard the valueless and useless.
The ego wants us to believe in the idea of completion but never actually achieve completion. It doesn't want us to achieve completion because we would no longer need it. So it serves as our guide, offering us one treasure map after another, and we buy into this reality. We cannot yet acknowledge to ourselves that the treasure lies within, and so we look outside for what the ego says will make us happy and whole. We search but we rarely find. The few times we find the treasure chest, we become momentarily satisfied, only to open it and find it empty. We start to question the ego, but as we do, it offers us a new map and promises that this time it will bring us peace of mind, joy and completion.
Every map, every guidance the ego offers tells of an outward journey in a world of scarcity, where in order to succeed we must find the limited number of idols (false Gods) before our brother or sister does. It tells us that we should join those brothers and sisters who think as we do and shun those who do not. It begins its game by separating its illusion into thousands of different ideas that we make into idols. It whispers that we must obtain these idols, material things and ideas to achieve completion. This way it covers itself by making sure that we will bite at a few of these thousands of idols and spend our time trying to obtain them. For the more time we spend searching for them, the less time we have to question the ego's guidance. Like a wise old fisherman, the ego keeps switching bait until it finds the right one for the fish it is trying to catch. We then decide which idols are most important to our completion, and live our lives trying to acquire them. We look for brothers and sisters who are in search of similar idols in the form of ideas, material things and status. And we discard and separate from the brothers and sisters who do not share our views.
My friend, it is not the idols we seek, but completion itself. We will not find completion by discarding any brother or sister. We will not find completion by attaching ourselves to an individual brother or sister or to a specific group. We will never find completion by searching for illusions. For only in the illusion can parts of a whole join together at the exclusion of other parts and call themselves complete and whole. And only in a mass illusion can idols offer us something God can not. There is no end to illusions and the only way to find completion is to awaken.
Judging the Dreamer
Every day we help mold and develop people by what we offer them. If we offer people patience, love and forgiveness, they have a greater chance of growing into patient, loving and forgiving beings. And we will live in gratitude if these people touch our lives or the lives of our children. These people will in turn be grateful to us and our children, for they will remember that it was our patience, love and forgiveness that allowed them to become who they are today.
My friend, offer what you want to experience. Offer patience, love and forgiveness, and you will manifest them in one way or another in your life. Offer judgment and ridicule, and sooner or later, this is what you will manifest into your life.
Each one of our brothers and sisters’ words and actions is a gift. If their words or actions are not understood as gifts, then we are misperceiving reality. We can perceive a person's words or actions as gifts to be grateful for, or as bricks we must defend against. One decision will bring us peace, and the other will bring us judgment and pain. Understand that only in the dream can a gift be turned into a brick that we must defend against.
Dream Offered for Chapter One - The Gift
In every chapter of this book I asked for and received either a dream or an out-of-body experience (OBE) that could be useful in explaining this material. My hope is that each personal experience will be useful to you. I do a lot of lucid and non lucid dream and OBE work. I meditate before going to sleep and invite my spirit guides to offer me a dream that can enhance or clarify the material. This has been and is a very useful growth tool for me. In Chapter 11, I will invite you to try it. You can train yourself to remember the details of your dreams and OBEs. Much knowledge can be extracted from the dream state. Along with the message that is offered through the imagery of the dream, there are also verbal messages that are offered. For me, these messages sometimes sound like a young, yet mature baritone voice within my head, and other times participants in the dream or OBE offer me input. All the messages intertwine and dissolve into one cooking pot that I then serve into my dream and OBE journal.
In the following dream sequence, I participated in a meditation exercise before going to sleep. The meditation question I asked my higher self and guides was: How did I create the current dream/illusion that I am experiencing? The following occurred:
In this dream, a person said a word, and before a single thought entered my mind, there appeared a plain box. I then understood that I had two choices. They were to take this box and see it as a gift that my brother was offering, or see it as a brick that I must defend against. I was also led to understand that every word or action, regardless of tone or manifestation, is the same, and that there are always two choices to deal with as a reaction and response. I understood that one choice would unite me with my brother, and the other choice would separate us. The box itself was physically small, but I understood that the gift that lay within it was as boundless as it was beautiful. Yet, because of fear and judgment, I misperceived my brother's word as an attack, and felt that if I put myself behind this small box, my brother would disappear and I would again be safe. Over and over again, I heard noises I thought were coming from behind this box. My reaction again became fear, and I immediately perceived these noises as an attack against me. Every time I heard a noise, another box appeared, but because of my past experience I chose not to sit for a moment and open the box. Instead, I chose to protect myself by stacking one box on top of another, until I could no longer truly see my brother. Slowly, I surrounded myself with these boxes until no light could seep through. For a while I felt protected, but in the darkness I began to feel isolated, alone and afraid. I believed that isolation and fear were my only two choices. Yet, as I sat quietly in the dark, deep within me a voice for unity whispered. And as it did, I decided to move the boxes apart slightly to see if I could hear or see my brother better. Through the cracks, a little light seeped through, warming my face, and it felt loving and kind. I grabbed at every ray of light, and as I focused on the light I again heard a voice. I heard the voice, but because of past interactions with it, and without paying attention to what it was saying, I immediately closed the cracks until all I could hear were murmurs. These quiet murmurs kept getting louder, for my brother kept trying to reach me. But again I reacted with fear and felt that I needed to reinforce these boxes to keep the voices out. So with judgment and fear, I began cementing these boxes until they took the form of bricks that together took the form of walls. I felt that these walls would protect me from the noises I was hearing and the actions I was seeing. In darkness, I was isolated and alone, but I felt protected by my walls. But once again, I got tired of the darkness and isolation, and once again I began to hear and focus on the voice.
I then began to hear the familiar baritone voice. The best way I can describe it is for you to imagine yourself watching and listening to an instruction video that covers the complete inner vision of your mind. The following message, although very close to the original, is paraphrased. The voice said:
You have chosen to remember. My friend, you now have the opportunity to let light shine through the cracks in your walls. You carry within you the eternal memory of your Godself. As much as you think that you have completely closed yourself, there are cracks in your armor, and cracks in your masks and walls. They may be too small for you to believe that they can change your perceptions, yet within the cracks lie all you truly are. Within, there exists rays of light where you become boundless, and within this boundlessness is all you could ever truly desire. Protection is not needed here, for here there is nothing you need protection from. And if you focus on the light, all your walls will disappear into the nothingness from which they came.
There are places in your life where you have built walls around the truth of who you are. You've built these walls with judgment and cemented them with fear. You strained all your life to build and keep these walls together. These walls that you have built to protect you hold all perceptions, judgments and beliefs about yourself, your brothers and sisters, God and the world. You hide behind and defend these walls with your life; for you believe that if someone were to ever penetrate them, they would recoil in disgust once they saw who was really there. Methodically, on a daily basis, you reinforce these walls, creating emotional, psychological and spiritual barriers. You take secret pride in their structure and strength. Yet with every breeze, you curse the pebbles that bounce off these walls. And you even blame the wind for blowing. You keep telling yourself that you are safe, and yet you fear any breeze that dares caress your walls.
You have been taught to believe that in your walls' changelessness, your strength and safety lies. You are taught to fear change, for it means that your walls would weaken. So you defend these so-called impenetrable walls against anything that challenges their structure. To you, anything and everything that differs from your belief system challenges its structure. You spend your day in defense of pebbles, and curse the wind whenever any of these pebbles are tossed toward your walls. So you end up living your days in defense of these impenetrable walls. The walls that you built to defend you, you end up defending against the outside world, and you judge and curse any attempt to change or weaken them.
You tire of these illusions and try to escape them at night by attempting to sleep. But continuous thoughts of pebbles fill your mind and do not let you. In the darkness, a thousand thoughts flood your mind and so you even fight to fall asleep. Finally once asleep, these pebbles turn into monsters of all shapes and sizes, and you run away from them as they attack your walls. You wake up, afraid of the monsters you have made out of pebbles. You become relieved when you realize it was a dream. Still, you are hesitant to close your eyes and fall back into the dream. You blame the unconscious mind for playing tricks on you. You choose to see the unconscious mind as separate from you and you make yourself believe you have no control over it. You do not realize that it is your conscious belief in illusions that transfers into your unconscious mind - meaning you are the ultimate creator of both your conscious and unconscious thoughts. Finally, you close your eyes and go to bed afraid. In the morning, you wake up as tired as you were when you went to sleep. You receive no rest from your illusions, and wonder why you feel stressed, weak and tired.
My friend, when you awaken, you will understand that the illusions you make out of pebbles in your conscious mind are as unreal as the illusions you allow to become monsters in your unconscious mind. For both the pebbles and the monsters will be seen for what they truly are: illusions and nothing else. Illusions are unreal, thus it is only your recognition of their nothingness that will set you free. You will no longer experience fear once you recognize that all fear, regardless of its manifestation, is based on illusion. Soon you will not need to close your eyes to find rest; soon you will find that true rest does not come from sleeping, but from awakening.
As you live your life in defense of these walls, what you hoped would not happen, happens. Everyone learns who you are by what you defend. You show who you are by what you treasure, and you will defend what you treasure. For you live your life outside yourself, in defense of what you built to conceal and defend yourself. And by defending what you built, all those outside see what you believe yourself to be. You who have made these walls what they are, you who have made these walls out of nothing, have spent your life in defense of that nothingness and wonder why you feel incomplete and unfulfilled.
You thought these so-called impenetrable walls would keep you safe. But these walls have been built on and of sand, and thus by their very nature are unstable and ever changing. Regardless of how slight the wind, it will blow your walls into different forms, upsetting you every time. You live surrounded by an illusion of safety and peace, and then wonder why you feel unsafe and stressed. You live surrounded by walls of your own creation, and wonder why you feel isolated, alone and incomplete. You live day and night in defense of this illusion, and wonder why you feel weakened, stressed and tired.
You have been taught that to defend these walls, that to defend yourself is right and honorable. Yet it is actually not the defending that you fear, but the idea that there is nothing to defend. For if there is nothing worth defending, then you are, by the ego's definition, worthless. My friend, you are not worthless, and within you, you know this to be true. You need not defend, not because there is nothing worth defending, but because there is truly nothing to defend against. Ask yourself, "Would a right-minded person spend his existence defending his walls against pebbles? Would a right-minded person see a pebble and make it into a monster?" There will always be pebbles on this beach. It is up to you to decide if you will make them into monsters, or realize that they are but pebbles. Whenever you feel stressed, tired, alone, incomplete or afraid, it is because you have made pebbles into different-shaped monsters that you believe can attack, and that you must defend against.
My friend, it is not the idea that others will look within you and recoil that frightens you, but that others will look within you and see God's perfect creation. Again, the idea of worth appears. You do not feel that someone who can experience stress, tiredness, loneliness, fear, unhappiness or incompleteness could be God's perfect creation. All of these feelings are thoughts you have made real by your belief in them. These illusions have been shaped by a sense of judgment, fear and separation. The only decision you need to make to feel their opposite is to choose their opposite. A sense of connection and love is their opposite. Every moment you have this choice. One decision will offer you peace, the other decision will not. In the end, this is the choice that is yours to make. The life you create comes from the choices you make, the choices you make come from who you believe yourself to be. Who you believe yourself to be comes from either the perception you have made real, or the knowledge you have accepted.
Acceptance of knowledge is the recognition that your highest will and God's will are one. The manifestation of this recognition is the state of peace. A little willingness to be open to this possibility is all that you need. If you choose to knock on the door, it will be opened, but you can also choose to recognize that there is no door. There is no door because there are no barriers between you and your creator. The only barriers you will ever encounter are those you believe still exist. Note that you are not judged for any barriers you create. A little willingness and a knock on the door is all it takes to remove any barrier, regardless of its physical, mental or spiritual manifestation.
My friend, I feel deep love for you. You need not take one more step. You need not cry one more tear. You need simply recognize and remember the truth of who you are. That is all you need do. It is much easier than your ego will now let you believe, but as you begin to remove the walls, you will recognize that this is so. As you remove the walls, you will look back and smile at what you had made real, and you too will begin to feel a deeper love for your brothers and sisters. Walls such as color, race, age, belief system, religion, actions, reactions and judgments will begin to crumble, and as they do, you will encounter all your brothers and sisters with open arms. You hold deep love for all your brothers and sisters. You might not yet recognize this, but it is so. For what is true is true, whether you choose to believe in it or not.
The walls that you have built with judgment and cemented with fear will be dismantled by forgiveness. The same individuals you blamed for the walls' existence will themselves assist you in dismantling them. The ones you judged and have forgiven will hold their hands out to you. You will see this for the first time - not because their hands had not been there before, but because you had never chosen to truly open your eyes. Forgiveness is the only requirement for you to truly see. Once you forgive, you will experience gratitude toward your brothers and sisters for their assistance, and you will gladly take their hands and experience the gift. Once you take their hands, you will be elevated into a beautiful world, a world that has, in truth, always been there, simply waiting for you to open your eyes, to awaken and enjoy. All the judgments you ever made, all the brothers and sisters you refused to forgive, and all the anger you chose to hold within, through forgiveness and understanding, will be replaced with love. And you will cry once more, but not from fear, isolation or loneliness, but from your absolute love and respect for God's gift, for your absolute love and respect for your trueself.
The Dreamer and the Dream
How many times in your dreams have you run away from something that frightened you only to awaken thankful that it was not real? How many times in your dreams have feelings of stress, anxiety, anger and judgment come up? Yet, once you awaken, you smile and give thanks that it was only a dream. We run away from a monster in a dream because we believe the monster to be real. Equally, feelings of stress, anxiety, anger and judgment feel real because we have made them realities within our minds.
Child of God, learn to trust that your worth is perfect. It is perfect because God gifted it to you. My friend, if it were possible for you to see me as I write this sentence, you would see that I am smiling for I know the beauty of your perfect worth. I know this because I have remembered the beauty of my perfect worth, and you and I are one, no greater and no less. You may have taught yourself to rely on other people's judgments to measure your worth. But what has this thought system ever offered you? It has offered pain, self doubt, a sense of worthlessness. You are as God created you - perfect, awake and whole. You simply haven't let yourself remember this. You can choose to forget it, but you can't change it. Your natural state is to be joyful and at peace. However, most people have learned to accept stress, anxiety, anger and judgment as natural, yet the complete opposite is true. These are unnatural states in which most people choose to live, and there is a place in your heart that knows this to be true. There is a place in your heart that knows that feeling stress, anxiety, anger and judgment are unnatural. These are just the illusions most people have chosen for their dream. We have chosen to fall asleep and dream, and at some point we choose to awaken. My friend, in your heart you know that the alarm clock has sounded and that it is now time to wake up. However, it is up to you to decide how many times you will choose to push the snooze button.
Forgiving the Dreamer
Once you awaken from your dream, you will have no interest in judging those who sleep. And if they curse or kick you while they sleep, you will simply understand that, in truth, all they are doing is dreaming. Every sin, error, accusation and judgment, regardless of form, is forgiven. They are forgiven because you know that they are asleep. That is why once you are healed, once you awaken, the people you meet will be healed. Your healing and awakening is what is required for the world to be healed. Forgive the world, and you will be set free from it.
Our memory need not solely be used to remember the past; it can also be used to remember the eternal truth from which we first originated. Most people are not awake; however, they do not know that they are asleep. What we realize when we awaken is simply this: that which we experience as real is a manifestation of what we believe is real, and what we believe is real resides within our minds. Regardless of the form of attack, the figures in our dreams are made real by us. We are reacting to the figures, and all the pain, suffering, stress and anxiety in our minds is caused not by these figures, but by our reactions to these figures. Once we recognize these figures for what they truly are, all pain, suffering, anxiety and stress will fade away. Once the lesson that we are reacting to figures in our dreams is remembered, we are released from all we thought they did to us. We come to recognize that, because we have done this to ourselves, we also have the power to undo what we have done.
Regardless of the form fear takes, this simple reminder, if taken to heart, will dissipate any fog you might currently be experiencing in your life. Forgive the world for what you thought it did to you, and you will set yourself forever free.
Knowing Your Power
If we continue to participate in the illusion, there are rules and laws that we're advised to follow. We are told that those who do not follow these rules and laws are judged and punished. Our parents, our peers and society have rules and laws. If we follow all of their rules and laws, we are then considered good children, friends or members of society. Yet, if we follow the rules and laws of one group, we often break those of another, and thus people who think we are doing the "wrong thing" or "not doing the right thing" are constantly judging us. Individuals in a group may have different views on how the group should be run and behave. They might judge us if we do not follow their steps. Yet even when we follow their every step, we are still not safe from their judgment. Conversely, we, on many occasions, have been the judge, but what has this ever offered us? Pain, sadness, disgust, envy, jealousy, anger and many other negative emotions have resulted from our addiction to judging other people. Judging is not only a bad habit but also an addiction, for what else would we call something that causes us pain over and over again, but we continuously choose to inject into our lives and into the lives of others?
Like a drug dealer, we continue dispersing our judgment with no regard for how our behavior affects those with whom we interact, or how our behavior affects those with whom the people we have judged interact. Imagine being a pebble falling into a pond. The pebble might see and experience the ripples it created by its interaction with the pond. Even as the pebble slowly sinks to the bottom of the pond, it might look back and see the ripples expanding beyond the point of interaction. But soon, as it continues its journey into the pond, it loses contact with the point of interaction. Yet, even though it has lost its view of the surface, the ripples continue to expand, changing the surface and edges of the pond in a way the pebble might never see. Just as the pebble falls into a pond, our judgment of others will be dispersed and shared, and will touch an innumerable number of people that we will never see. Don't believe for a second that what we say or do affects only the person with whom we physically interact. Our judgment or acceptance will be carried from one to many, and they in turn will carry it to many more.
Just as you have the power to judge and spread yourself like a virus, you also have the power to spread love. This is the one choice you make every time that you interact with a brother or sister. My friend, you touch this world on a much deeper level than you could ever imagine. You will one day see the result of all your words and actions, yet until that day comes, know your power. Know that not only do you have the power to make this world a more ugly or beautiful place, but that you do so every time you choose between judgment and love.
You are a powerful being. How you ultimately choose to use this power is up to you. You might not recognize this power yet, but the day is coming when you will look within and remember. Every person with whom you have ever interacted has acted as a mirror to show you more about yourself. Every person with whom you interact, now acts as a mirror to show you where you are now within your mind. You are here to learn about your thoughts and emotions, and you will see them reflected not only in the reactions and actions of your brothers and sisters, but also in everything you see around you. There does not exist a person, place or thing in this world that does not reflect who or what you believe about yourself. When properly perceived, all people, places and things will teach you who you currently believe yourself to be. All people, places, things and moments reflect what you think and feel about yourself.