I Am Normal…If You’re Bipolar

By

Terri Callsen

Copyright 2012 Terri Callsen

ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

ISBN 978-1-937520-57-1

Published by

First Edition Design eBook Publishing

February 2012

www.firsteditiondesignpublishing.com

Smashwords Edition

No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system or transmitted, in any form or by any means—electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise—without prior written permission of the publisher.

This book is dedicated to the world as a whole,

so they can better understand the bipolar community.

Acknowledgements

I could not have written this book without being inspired by my Employment Counsellor, Deanna Kubas. I could not have drawn on my experiences without my parents, ex-husband, son, adopted family, cherished friends, the un-medicated, and the people I have worked for and beside. Even though a majority of the experiences have been hurtful, the whole situation has made me a stronger person. Perhaps a little too hard, but what can you expect from a bipolar? Answer: Nothing less than twice your “maxed-out” feelings.

A very special thank you to Amy Lignor, who has brought such hope, self-confidence, and love to my sister heart.

Do you have friends or family that suffer from depression? If so, do you wonder why they are the way they are? If you’re looking for quick facts, what symptoms to look for, and explanations for the expressive behaviours of your loved one, you may have found a stimulating book that provides examples and thoughts concerning what it’s like to be bipolar…

Table of Contents

Introduction

What It’s Not

Hit Me With Your Best Shot

The Un-medicated

Full Treatment Program

Bipolar: Which Degree Are You?

Repeated Exposure

Anxieties

A Long Way to Go Yet

You Can’t Have Too Much

Introduction

Being a rapid cycler my overly-abundant thoughts come at maximum speed. Multiple subjects are constantly being played inside my brain, like an endless montage where problem solving is as natural as every breath I take. My double edged sword has taken me down the path of writing, creating a book that will give the reader a better understanding of what it’s like to be classified as a “bipolar disordered” person living in today’s society. This is the day and age where it sounds like everyone and their dog is bipolar, yet no one understands what this disability can do…and destroy.

I am not a doctor, a scientist, or a counsellor; I am a single individual on life’s journey who’s experiencing things that I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy. I have an ability to look at my life and make fun of it. After all, humour helps. Some of my own favourite quotes are: “Life without laughter is like a puddle without water,” and “Life is like a stage; there are actors that play parts in our lives that help establish us, and allow us to grow as individuals.”

I am an authority on my bipolar disordered life. From the first traumatic event to almost dying to finding a goal that helped me experience joy; learn that I could be too intense at times, yet not enough in relationships; to allowing me to accomplish a complete “180” - taking my previous life experience and beginning the Full Treatment Program.

My work life is not the one I wanted. I never entered a job with the hopes of being fired, or having to leave it because of this recurring disability that has overtaken me. I dreamed of having a job that would last at least five years but, with the world around me, the reality is that it’s not going to happen in the “normal” 9-to-5 workforce.

I’d like to think that I’m not a typical Bipolar. I enjoy reading books that help me grow spiritually as an individual, and realize why things in my life have happened on this journey of self-discovery and acceptance. You can’t change the past, as we all know, you can only learn from it and try your best not to repeat your errors as the world revolves around us and time moves forward. It is a given that each generation - each person - has their own individual evolution.

My life changed a great deal when a relationship came to an end because of repeated exposure to anxieties that simply didn’t go away; the problems were intensified because I was under medicated. My condition worsened and I knew I had to change, because if I didn’t, I would continue to make the same mistakes. This is when I read, The Road Less Traveled, Touched with Fire, and the incredibly popular, Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus. Each one combined to enhance my ability to “call it like it is,” despite the look of shock on the faces of the people around me when I admitted the bipolar disorder. More often than not when you voice a conclusion it leaves an unsettling feeling of remorse, even though it’s the truth. I can’t help but tell the truth because lying to yourself only works for just so long; blaming everyone else for the problems that have occurred simple stops working. The old saying, Life is what you make it, is definitely true.