"Seek Ye First the Kingdom . . ."
One man's journey with the living Jesus
Brian Longhurst
Published by Six Degrees Publishing Group at Smashwords
Copyright © 2011, 2012 Brian Longhurst
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Unless otherwise indicated all Scripture quotations are extracts from the Authorized Version of the Bible (The King James Bible), the rights in which are vested in the Crown, are reproduced by permission of the Crown's Patentee, Cambridge University Press.
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Published in the United States of America
Six Degrees Publishing Group
http://www.SixDegreesPublishing.com
ISBN: 978-1-4524-5252-4 (EPUB Edition)
Cover Art: Lana Carolan
CONTENTS
Foreword: An Introduction to the Author
Chapter 1..... Early Days and a New Beginning
Chapter 2..... A Momentous Rejoining
Chapter 3..... Stirrings Within
Chapter 4..... Romance Blossoms
Chapter 5..... The Rescue Work Begins
Chapter 6..... Family Life – Here and Beyond
Chapter 7..... Deepening Understanding
Chapter 8..... The Rescue Work Shifts Up a Gear
Chapter 9..... Friendship, Angels and Revelations
Chapter 10... Tapestry Fragments
Chapter 11... The End of the Beginning
1....."Stand in the Holy Place; stand in the Lowly Place"
4.....First Encounter with the Holy Spirit
5.....The Free Gift of Forgiveness
7.....Broken Ankle at Crickley
8.....Seeds of Redemption; Charles
11...The Crucifixion: "I did it to get your attention"
12...The False Doctrine of Sacrifice as the Path to Salvation
13...A Mass Rescue and Healing
14..."There is no light of discernment"
16...Peter: "I came to clear the way for her"
19...Ted's Passing, Rescue and Going Forward
20...From Breaking Rocks to Breaking Bread
21...Laser: Amplifying the Light for the Kingdom
23...Exorcising Possessing Spirits
24...Religious Misperceptions of Duty
25...The Gathering of the Clans
27...Jesus in Bedrock Hell Fastening the Escape Ladder to the Floor
An Introduction to the Author
As a spiritual teacher who has travelled the world for the past twenty years, I get a lot of correspondence from many people. When my wife, Carolyn, and I received an email from Brian a few years ago, it was simply one of many. When I read his email, and realised that this man claimed a friendship with the living Jesus, a trickle of apprehension crawled down my spine. Most mental facilities have a few inmates claiming either to be Jesus, or at least to be on good speaking terms with him; not to mention the Jesus cults! Then I learned that we would be meeting him on our next tour.
I confess, our meeting was nothing like I expected. I imagined a goofy looking man, who, when he was not chatting with Jesus, would probably be singing hymns in a high, nasal voice. You know what I mean; another version of a typical English eccentric. The reality was very different. We met, Brian and his lovely wife, Theresa, in a village pub in Cambridgeshire, and I had immediate difficulty in reconciling my image of Brian with the real person. In reality, Brian is a very handsome man – and this from another male! – who has a huge sense of humour, which, I admit, is probably a mite more colourful than my own. He was nothing like I expected. I had met with him intending that this was the one and only meeting, but it was not to be. With surprising ease, he charmed and laughed his way into the hearts of both Carolyn and myself, and I heard myself happily agreeing to stay at their home for a few days on our next year's tour.
Even after meeting him, in retrospect I was not eager about staying with them. (Sorry about this, Brian, but truth will out!) Surely he would revert to type, and I would be hauled out of bed at about five o'clock in the morning with the expectation of a few long and drawn out prayers, or at the very least, a chat with Jesus, or a hymn or three. Happily, I was wrong again. We all arose after a good night's sleep at a respectable eight o'clock, and listened to Brian's jokes and chatter as he showed us what was available for breakfast.
As I came to really know and love Brian, I realised that he is a very humble, joyous man, who simply has a relationship with Jesus that is very real for him. And he does not deny that reality. I gradually realised that my whole approach to Brian had been based in my church oriented Christianity. Growing up in a C of E family, I was compelled to go to Sunday school for a few years, until Mrs. Harper, the teacher, decided that Sunday school would be far better without me. That was when I knew there is a God!
After bell-ringing for the Sunday service, I liked to slip unseen out of the church, and I usually managed this, but I was forced to stay and sit through enough services that I found them lifeless, boring, and mind-numbingly repetitive. I become very disenchanted with church and all it stood for. And yet, I accepted that there is a God. Many years later, after I had emigrated to Tasmania, the island state of Australia, there came the day when an unexpected, life-altering question hit me; Who am I? That moment forever changed my life.
The reason Brian intrigued me – and continues to do so – is because after my abrupt and startling question, I was overwhelmed with a biblical quotation; "Seek ye first the Kingdom of Heaven, and all else shall be added unto you". For myself, and everyone I knew, we were seeking first all that could be added unto us . . . and if there was any time left over, maybe a Sunday morning, that much time we spent seeking the Kingdom of Heaven. As far as I am aware, it was Jesus who suggested the reverse . . . and knowing in my heart the Truth of his words, this is what I did. Where it led me, and what was added unto me is not for these pages, but it was my living this profound Truth, spoken by Jesus, that changed my life. Note that I say, my living it. Jesus did not just say, "The Truth shall set you free." An incomplete quote. The more complete, and thus, meaningful, quote is, "If you live the truth as I tell you, you will know the Truth, and the Truth will set you free."
Brian lives his Truth. He is an extraordinary, ordinary man with the courage to live his Truth. He does not seek attention, neither does he avoid it. He is funny, outgoing, and so very easy to be with. I offered to write this introduction for Brian's book because I consider it very important that you, the reader, connect with the type of man he truly is. This is no pious, holier than thou, man. This is a robust, laughing, chuckling man who makes a joke of his deep and wonderful relationship with Harry. Harry, you might ask; who is Harry? * (1) Jesus H. Christ! Remember him? Brian has this irreverent, yet utterly devoted and loving relationship with a living Jesus that to me, is totally unique. I have grown to love Brian, to believe in him, and to deeply respect his lifetime journey with his very dear friend, Jesus.
Brian is very real, connected with Heaven and Earth. This is rare. Read his book, enrich your life, smile often, and grow in awareness of spiritual reality.
Michael Roads, Queensland, Australia.
Author of Through the Eyes of Love; Book One,
Through the Eyes of Love; Book Two,
A Glimpse of Something Greater
* (1) Of this reference to me calling Jesus 'Harry', a word of explanation seems warranted as to how this came about:
During the 1948 Presidential election campaign Harry Truman delivered a speech attacking the Republicans. During the speech a supporter yelled out "Give 'em Hell, Harry!". Truman replied, "I don't give them Hell. I just tell the truth about them and they think it's Hell." Subsequently, "Give 'em Hell, Harry!" became a lifetime slogan for Truman supporters.
When Theresa and I study A Course in Miracles together, and come to any bit that is soaringly beautiful, inspiring, uplifting, enlightening, affirming, I say, "Give 'em Heaven, Harry". Since many in the military (and elsewhere) use the expletive 'Jesus H. Christ!' the name Harry seems, tongue-in-cheek, appropriate, and is used with love, honour, respect. B.L.
This work is dedicated to all who observe the unserviceableness of Earth-life institutions – political, civic, commercial and religious; who have an aching longing in their heart and soul for truth, peace, goodwill, trust, honesty, freedom, openness, and a deep, inner knowing that things don't have to be the way they are – that indeed they can, very easily, be immeasurably better.
To all such, herein is a message of hope: there is a better way, and each and every one of us can make a real difference in helping to transform ourselves and the world into a New Era of spiritual enlightenment – the Kingdom of Heaven on Earth.
Preface
We are all, every living soul in this earthly life, Citizens of Eternity, sojourning in time. Most of us have become so engaged in the 'sojourning in time' part of this Truth that we have forgotten the Citizens of Eternity part of it. Happy is the soul who chooses to commence, here in the earthly life, a journey back into remembrance of who he (or she) really is. This is a journey that can begin at any age and at any moment. All that is required in order for it to begin is to choose it, and that choice will be determined by the desire. If the soul truly and earnestly desires to begin that wonderful, adventure-ful journey, there will be a longing in the heart, which is the seat of the soul; a tugging at the heart-strings for an awakening to an awareness and experience of that 'something beyond' that has been lacking thus far from their sojourn in time.
~~~~~
". . . nothing from the Source of All will coerce any of us into embarking upon a journey for which we are not yet ready."
~~~~~
Once that desire rises to the surface of the consciousness, the step that will begin that journey is the active making of a conscious, committed choice for it to begin; for nothing from the Source of All will coerce any of us into embarking upon a journey for which we are not yet ready. No other outward action needs to be taken, for that act of choosing, triggered by the heart's desire, will set in motion the cosmic process which will automatically begin our unique, individual, personal journey. This has nothing to do with our Earth-mind understanding, but is of the Life Force, which is pure Spirit – the very Life Essence of the Creator – and cannot be controlled or manipulated by physical, mental or emotional acts of ego self-will. From then, our Higher Self, which is one with the Spirit of Truth, or Holy Spirit, and has mostly lain quiescent during our Earth-consciousness waking hours, will begin to become active in the events of the Earth physical and mental awareness. This will be experienced in various ways, including events of synchronicity.
The beginner will soon start to see things from a new perspective, and wonder why he never before noticed them, in the way that he now suddenly does. There will be dreams of a type not previously experienced, and gradually, imperceptibly, as a plant growing, the 'pilgrim' will begin to find that his * (2) whole awareness, life, experience, understanding is undergoing a metamorphosis. This can be a new and strange experience – and for some, a trepidatious one. Let such nascent travellers on the road back to our true home – Eternity – take comfort in the certainty that the Source of All, the Creator Spirit, God, is benign, unconditional, Perfect Love. In truth there is actually nothing to fear but fear itself. The Bible is full of loving admonition along the lines Fear not, all is well. Jesus constantly exhorted his followers and the people of his time in this manner. As the wise adage says, Fear knocked at the door; faith answered and there was no-one there.
Another well-known saying is apposite for such a momentous time in any person's life: When the student is ready, the teacher comes. For the reality is that we are all, without exception, lovingly and caringly watched over by and from the Realms of Light. Psalm 139 speaks of this at length and most poetically…
O Lord thou hast searched me and known me. Thou knowest my downsitting and mine uprising, thou understandest my thought afar off. Thou compassest my path and my lying down and art acquainted with all my ways. For there is not a word in my tongue but lo, O Lord, thou knowest it altogether. Thou hast beset me behind and before and laid thine hand upon me . . .
That which follows is the story of one such Citizen of Eternity who, from an early stage on his sojourn in time, began to have glimmerings of that 'something beyond'. He went through periods of trying to ignore it – trying to 'hide amongst the trees of the garden' – but he felt the call, deep within himself, and knew that in truth there was really nowhere to hide; that the All-Seeing One was everywhere. Apprehensive as this made him, he knew there was no alternative but to come out and face the reality of which the Spirit of Truth was whispering into his awakening mind: It's time to begin the journey, the quest for Eternal Truth.
~~~~~
"Then will begin a journey, an adventure, which will surpass all our imagining by its sheer, glorious, wonderful magnificence."
~~~~~
In all outward appearances nothing particular marks him out from the rest of us, and this is clearly portrayed in his narrative. The fact is that we are all actually far more remarkable than almost all of us are aware. The reason for this is that we are all God's children, created in His likeness. What could possibly be more remarkable than that? When Jesus said …the works that I do shall he (who believes) do also, and greater works than these shall he do… (John 14:12) he was speaking prophetically. At some deep level, that still, small voice within us all is calling. If we hear that voice and, in faith and trust, open the door, in will come the Spirit of Truth and fellowship with us. Then will begin a journey, an adventure, which will surpass all our imagining by its sheer, glorious, wonderful magnificence. On this journey we may not always be comfortable, but we will never be bored. And it will go on, becoming step by step more joyful, fulfilling and rewarding… unto all Eternity.
* (2) Wherever the male gender is referred to in a manner such as this, Ladies, please be assured that the female of the species is always similarly and equally intended for inclusion throughout this writing; that the masculine pronoun is used for brevity and language-flow and that no discrimination or bias is intended against the female gender.
Introduction
This, being a somewhat unconventional story, calls for a somewhat unconventional introduction. It has been my observation over many years that Jesus of Nazareth and the vast, fractured, schism-ridden institution that has arisen purporting to be in his name has been perceived in a number of different ways by humanity at large. Having considered how best to express this observation, it seems apposite to do so by way of an allegory.
This allegory was given to me inspirationally in a manner with which I was previously familiar: I was awakened in the small hours of the night and heard the words being spoken. They were so imaginatively impressed into my mind that I was easily able to write them, verbatim, after waking several hours later, well after dawn had broken. Here it is:
The Caterpillars and the Butterfly
~ An allegory of human spiritual life. ~
There lived in a beautiful garden large numbers of a particular creature who crawled about, eating the vegetation, perceiving themselves on the one hand as being superior to all the other creatures in the garden and yet on the other hand perceiving themselves as lowly, wretched and unworthy of being loved. They had many mythologies, and squabbled endlessly about whose mythology was the only right one, which caused many rifts, divisions and schisms between them.
~~~~~
"... not only was he the light but they also were the light ..."
~~~~~
One day a beautiful butterfly came into their presence, soaring in the sunlight, radiating magnificent rainbow-colours from his wings; so much so that he was seen as the Light of the World. Wherever he went he attracted followers, who marvelled at his magnificence and the wonders he performed in their midst. He spoke in a way they had never heard before. He told them that not only was he the light but they also were the light; that the wonders he performed, they also would perform – and even greater things – if only they could believe. He said he was their brother and, in reality, they also were beautiful butterflies, capable of soaring in the light and radiating magnificent rainbow colours. He also said they need not concern themselves with all their mythologies and divisions; they are merely asked to love the Creator and each other as themselves.
Many believed what he said, but others scoffed at his words. The scoffers said among themselves, "He says he is our brother, yet it is evident there is nothing remotely similar between him and us; he has only six legs and two wings and lives on ambrosia, whereas we have many legs, no wings and eat the vegetation. Clearly he is off his head and has no idea what he is talking about."
Even those who believed him didn't fully understand him and instead perceived him and worshipped him as a God, saying they were still lowly, wretched and unworthy of being loved… and he was high and exalted and eternally beyond anything they could ever dream of being.
Nevertheless, he told them that if they could imagine his words were like bread, and the love that he outpoured upon them was like wine, they could imbibe this as sustenance at a higher level of vibration than the vegetation they believed was their source of life and nourishment. This would then enable them to see themselves as they saw him, and the higher vibration would transform them, too, from within themselves, into magnificent, soaring butterflies. He also shared another analogy to help them grasp this enlightened understanding: that he was as a vine, tended in the garden by the good husbandman, and that if they could imagine themselves as being branches in the vine, they could draw their uplifting life energy through him, thereby enabling them to fulfil their own glorious, radiant potential.
Many did as he said, but because the light of their inner awareness was dim, they were only able to follow his guiding as an outward ritual. Only very few were able to discern the spiritual reality within his stories. Those who did went by themselves, or perhaps with one or two of their closest, most trustworthy friends, into a secret place, away from the clamour of the world around them, wherein they contemplated his words deeply within their hearts and minds – just as he had counselled them – and gave thanks for all the wondrous gifts he had brought into their lives. In the silence of their own within they received the enlightenment he had promised that was sustenance for their souls, and this enabled them to see themselves just he had said they would.
Those who were only able to perceive his words at an outer, ritualistic level began to quarrel amongst themselves as to who was the greatest among them, or whose interpretation of his words was the most accurate. They made ever greater numbers of rules and doctrines about these interpretations, even though the butterfly had plainly said there were only two 'rules'. This caused further divisions between them. Some broke away from the group structure that had been established in his name, claiming the group no longer truly represented him and his teaching, and was full of corruption and self-serving. In time there arose squabbling even within the breakaway groups, causing yet further divisions. All these groups and the breakaway groups called themselves the This denomination or the That denomination and even though their holy writings told them that their Creator had called them by their name, all these breakaway groups had chosen to de-nominate themselves.
All the squabbling over who was right and who was wrong in their understanding of the butterfly's wisdom caused many of the creatures – who had at first enthusiastically joined the groups set-up in his name because the stories about him seemed so resonant with their hearts and minds – to become disillusioned with the groups, and they stopped attending their meetings.
Some of those who stopped attending decided that the whole story could not be true and went back to eating the vegetation, and even any old, decaying matter they found in the garden, embracing any elaborate theories placed before them by those who posited a 'better idea' than the butterfly (or those who claimed to be representing him). This led to more and more confusion in the garden and more and more division among the creatures.
Those who had never believed the butterfly (or the groups who claimed to be representing him) said to those who had left the representative groups, or who moved from one group to another, vainly seeking a more perfect portrayal of the butterfly, "We told you so; it was all too far fetched to be plausible in the first place."
But those few who were able to see past the imagery of the butterfly's stories to the truth they contained, and followed his advice to enter alone, or in groups of only two or three, into a secret place, and there to attune with him, and he would be there in their midst, found that his words took on a level of meaning that brought his wisdom into a new dimension of reality for them. This enabled them, in their own inner discernment, to enter into a place of being just as he had described. There they found an inward peace, joy, love, tranquillity and spiritual illumination of the eternal realities, about which the butterfly had spoken, that was far, far beyond anything to be found in the groups who had de-nominated themselves.
Of course we all know what happens to caterpillars. They eventually stop eating the vegetation, enter alone into a secret place, away from the clamour of the world around them, and there, in the solitariness of their own within, recreate themselves in the image and likeness of the Butterfly. Then they emerge and soar magnificently in the sunlight, radiating glorious rainbow colours for all to see. They live off ambrosia, giving thanks, by virtue of their very beauty, to the Creator for the joy and wonder of Life.
This allegory of the Life of Humanity indicates that the spiritual awakening of mankind is barely begun, other than for a precious few, who long ago entered into their secret place, within, just as the Master counselled. However, we are now in the most exciting moment in the history of humanity, when an exponential increase is taking place in the numbers of those who are entering in and are recreating themselves from the within into the without into glorious, fully spiritually awakened, soaring Beings of the Light.
Those who have faithfully followed Jesus of Nazareth through the many denominational church institutions see these realities from the perspective presented by them. These organisations have compiled closely formatted and structured forms of words and procedures that serve their perceptions, and they maintain rigid, tightly controlled dogmas and doctrines based on Scriptures that have been altered many times, by people with their own ego-driven agendas, over the millennia since Jesus walked the Earth. Reincarnation, for instance, as a belief system was removed from Church Canon in 553 CE at the Second Council of Constantinople by the then Christian Church authorities. There have been numerous other additions, deletions and alterations before and since, which in combination, have drastically altered much of the original message of Jesus as presented by scripture and the religious denominations established in his name.
Yet Jesus wasn't rigid in the way he spoke of the Kingdom of Heaven. He constantly spoke in parables – allegories – which he knew would be interpreted by each individual according to where he was on the path of Spiritual awakening back to the reality of Eternity, and that is just as he intended it because that is the nature of parables, or allegories, and it served his objectives well to teach in this manner. Any individual who is sincere in his commitment to spiritual truth will, during a lifetime, undergo an evolutionary process in his understanding of the meaning of any of these parables. This clearly indicates that to have rigid dogmas and doctrines on any aspect of Truth, or the teachings of the Master Jesus, is of the intellect, not of the Christ-Mind awareness, and is not serviceable to the spiritual awakening of the mind of the individual, from its own within, where it makes its connection with the Creator, in Whose likeness we are created. As the apostle Paul puts it: Not that we are sufficient of ourselves to think any thing as of ourselves; but our sufficiency is of God; Who also hath made us able ministers of the new testament; not of the letter, but of the spirit: for the letter killeth, but the spirit giveth life. (2 Cor. 3:5-6.)
Jesus was unequivocal about entering alone into the 'closet' for communion with the Father and that when two or three were gathered in his (Jesus') name he would be there in the midst with them. It is in the interest of many religious institutions to promote the perception that congregations should be as large as possible, for pecuniary, evangelical and doctrinal reasons; but when an individual within such a congregation becomes drawn by the Spirit within to enter alone into his closet, and there ponder sincerely and earnestly the true, mystical dimensions of life, he will begin to receive illumination direct from the Spirit of Truth. Such a seeker will experience there a peace and joy not of this Earth, and will awaken to eternal realities that will place him in the awareness that the congregational churches are no longer able to be the source or channel of his spiritual sustenance because he will have outgrown them. He will also find that they will have no desire to hear of his inward, mystical experiences.
~~~~~
"... we will do greater things – if only we can believe ..."
~~~~~
Jesus was also unequivocal that we are (all) the light of the world and that the things he did, we – if only we can believe – will do also, and greater things. He came to remind us of this eternal truth and to demonstrate it, so that we would have a living example – a template – of the magnificence of our true, spiritual being to follow and emulate.
It is inevitable that this will happen eventually to us all because that is our fundamental, essential nature, having been created in the likeness of the Creator. Within us is a spark of God Awareness that was given to us at our creation, and this spark, like a seed, contains the complete blueprint of and for all that we have the potential to become. It is only a matter of when, rather than if, that we move back into full awareness, remembrance, of that. We are all at free choice to begin to make that journey at any time, including right NOW.
In writing the story of one's own experiences one is open to allegations of arrogance, vivid imagination and bias. There will be those amongst the readers of this story who will say this is an affront to Christianity. There are those (and I have received many messages to this effect) who will say this has opened their eyes to a greater truth about Jesus of Nazareth, who have been searching for some more realistic, meaningful representation of who he really is than has for centuries been portrayed by orthodox religion. There will be others who cannot decide.
Into whichever category you fall, I ask of you two things: 1) Please listen to your heart and your feelings as you read. Your heart and your feelings are your soul, your higher, true Self speaking, communicating with you. If your heart and soul resonate with this story, you will feel good about it. Some may find that they feel good about some parts of the story and not so good about other parts. 2) Please read the whole story before deciding.
In December 1995 I was given this message by Jesus:
". . . Be not surprised that many souls are lost, * (3) for the light of my spirit was deliberately snuffed out from the Church of Earth by those who sought riches of Earth before riches of eternity. But it is not possible for the Father's purposes to fail, and the light shall be shone in the dark places until all the shadows of death and fear shall have fled away. Rejoice greatly at this, my beloveds, and sing the New Song, that my little ones may hear, and dance the dance of freedom. That which I have purposed in you shall prosper according to the wisdom of the Father. Be not anxious for any detail; all is well."
After this, any doubts I may have entertained about whether to proceed with making public the message that this account of my experiences places before you, the reader, must be removed from serious consideration. This writing is my rendition of the New Song. May it produce a pleasing, informative, enlightening counterpoint with renditions of the New Song by other singers.
You will see that this message, above, and the various messages received from the Realms of Light that are recorded in this story tend to reflect a mode of speech similar to that of the King James (KJV) Bible. I have been asked why such should be the case and conclude 1) that will not actually be the case between dwellers in the Realms of Light, because communication between ascended, enlightened beings can best be described as telepathic, or mind-to-mind communing; or better yet, simply, of one mind; 2) it is a way of communicating with those of us here in time and place that has many qualities that are serviceable (at least to me!) to clarity of understanding, with careful use of words to convey concise meaning, whereas today, language and grammar usage has tended to become somewhat less so, so people don't always say what they mean or mean what they say (is it any wonder, therefore, that the world is at loggerheads!?); 3) I love the poetry of the KJV Bible, (whose New Testament was almost a direct copy from the William Tyndale New Testament translation of one hundred years earlier); 4) because I grew up with the KJV Bible and used it subsequently for study purposes, it is a mode with which I am both familiar and very comfortable.
Our guides, teachers, loved-ones and inspirers in the Realms of Light are always concerned for our peace of mind and wellbeing, and so I believe this is a. for the comfort of the person (me) experiencing the encounter, and b. the way that which is being sent is received and translated through the filtering mechanism of my mind. My awareness of such communications has undergone somewhat of a metamorphosis in the last few years and the Tudor-style English has substantially diminished, save when sometimes employed to make a particular point or convey levity suitable for the moment.
Nevertheless, in late 2005, a few months after substantially completing this writing, I was brought to A Course in Miracles (ACIM) * (b), a book dictated by the Master Jesus to Helen Schucman, and have been deeply and profoundly moved at finding that the form of language the Master has used with me over the decades (see 'Diary of a Christ Communicant' at honest2goodness.org.uk) is similar in many respects to the language structure used by him in dictating ACIM. It is also equally clear and deeply and profoundly affirming and validating that the message of ACIM is broadly reflected in the events, experiences and messages that have filled so much of my life's Path since the 1960s.
In the section at the back of ACIM entitled 'Clarification of Terms', section 5, paragraph 6, it says:
Is he (Jesus) God's only helper? No, indeed. For Christ takes many forms with different names until their oneness can be recognized. But Jesus is for you the bearer of Christ's single message of the Love of God. You need no other. It is possible to read his words and benefit from them without accepting him into your life. Yet he would help you a little more * (4) if you will share your pains and joys with him, and leave them both to find the peace of God. Yet still it is his lesson most of all that he would have you learn and it is this:
There is no death because the Son of God is like his Father. Nothing you can do can change Eternal Love. Forget your dreams of sin and guilt, and come with me instead to share the resurrection of God's Son. And bring with you all those whom he has sent to you to care for as I care for you.
The whole 'question of Jesus' and how he is represented – both to existing believers and to non-believers – can be and often is, in today's world, a contentious issue, frequently causing disagreement. Almost any formulaic representation will be disagreeable in one respect or another to one person or group, or another. It is my profound hope that at least some parts of this writing will be helpful and meaningful to each reader and that even if other parts are not, that those parts that are beneficial will have made the reading worthwhile. May the Source of All inspire and illumine your heart and mind as you read, so that you might be helped to find the way on your own path to Eternal Reality within these pages.
~ Brian Longhurst
~~~
* (b) All quotes from A Course in Miracles , First Edition, Copyright 1975 Foundation for Inner Peace , used with permission.
* (3) It should be noted here that this is not indicating that such souls are 'lost' for all eternity, but simply that they have lost their way on the Path back Home to Eternity, or Heaven.
* (4) In reality, an immeasurable amount more.
Our birth is but a sleep and a forgetting:
The Soul that rises with us, our life's Star,
Hath had elsewhere its setting,
And cometh from afar:
Not in entire forgetfulness,
And not in utter nakedness,
But trailing clouds of glory do we come
From God, who is our home.
"Ode to Immortality"
William Wordsworth, (1770-1850)
Part One
1: Early Days and a New Beginning
I was born into a multi-generational farming family the day before D-Day, 1944. My father, Pop, worked for his dad for several years after he and my mother, Ma, were married before he eventually took various jobs on other farming estates. In the late 1940s he became manager of a dairy and arable farm on Ashdown Forest in Sussex. We lived there for seven years. It was an idyllic environment for my brothers and me to grow up in; we had seven thousand acres of backyard for us and our imaginations to run free – the farm plus all the rest of Ashdown Forest – exploring the woods, streams, lakes and wildlife.
During our time at Old Lodge Farm, as it was named, I had a number of experiences which I did not understand at the time but which I now see were prophetic. One was a dream, which came over and over, on multiple occasions during our time there. In it there was a tube, similar in shape and size to a toothpaste tube. The top was screwed on tightly. I knew, in some inner-knowing way, that if the top was ever opened, the contents would get out and this would cause death and destruction wherever it went, and there would be little anyone could do to stop it. This caused me great concern in the dream.
Needless to say, the top was opened and out came a 'worm' of what looked to all intents and purposes like toothpaste. It kept coming and coming endlessly, mile after mile, 'worming' its way all over the countryside and all over the world, and everything it touched was contaminated, defiled or destroyed, whether plant, animal, soil or anything. It was unstoppable, and nobody was able to put the lid back on. At the age of about six or eight, I had no knowledge of Greek mythology and had never heard of Pandora's Box, but truly this was its equivalent, in tube form. In the early 1950s, the age of petrochemical agriculture (and petrochemical just-about-everything-else) had barely begun, and had as yet made little perceptible impact upon the environment. The intervening years have seen such pervasive contamination of and damage to the ecosphere of Earth by man-made molecules and other destructive activities of mankind that many scientists and environmentalists believe we are on the brink of global catastrophe. Increasing numbers of ordinary citizens, I amongst them, share this view, but those who have assumed authority over us in the form of the world's governments are still being much too slow to listen and respond actively to the wishes of the people, even in – and perhaps especially – the so-called democracies.
Nevertheless, there is much good news in this regard, for many environmentally-damaging chemicals have been withdrawn and this is prompting many new and environmentally-compatible, sustainable approaches to crop-production and other endeavours of man. These are starting to come to the forefront of human awareness and this is showing signs of beginning to accelerate at an exponential rate.
Another 'inexplicable' happening, which came from somewhere very deep within me, was an upwelling soul-awareness of the great, cosmic, universal, creative, intelligent Force, or Being, communing with me. This was intangible, invisible, but built up palpably inside me repeatedly every few months – over a period of several years – until I felt It was silently calling me, filling my every sense to the point where all else was subordinated by it. The only way I could satisfyingly respond to this calling was to go up into the woods, away from all other human contact, and reach upwards to heaven, not just physically with my arms but with my heart and soul, crying out to It to bring understanding of what this was all about, seeking to enter into a state of never-ending union with It.
All things that were of the 'Earth mind consciousness of humanity' were impediments, somehow getting in the way of this communion, and I had to separate myself from them, including the very clothes on my body. I would stand there, 'alone', naked, reaching out in body and soul, heart bursting for oneness; tears of wonderment, joy, love, longing pouring down my cheeks, calling out to this Universal Life Force that was invisibly, lovingly embracing me, drawing me upwards into Itself, overwhelming me with Its Love that was far, far beyond the understanding of this pre-pubescent boy. Eventually – after perhaps half an hour, maybe more – the great, insatiable yearning inside me would slowly subside, if never fully, at least to a level where I could 'rejoin the world' of what I now realise is illusory, consensus reality, until the whole process started and built up to a crescendo once more. I have no recollection of just how many times this took place, but it was numerous. It was only in later years, after I began to understand more about the eternal nature of the human spirit and its relationship with the Creator Spirit that I have gradually come to know more of what this was all about. No doubt there is still much more awareness to come as my understanding of eternity continues to grow toward fullness of spiritual awakening.
We left the farm in 1955 and moved into town when Pop took a job selling organic seaweed products to the farming community. Within a few years Pop became the star salesman for the Seaweed Agricultural business. I remember thinking at that time – the late 1950s – 'Whatever happens, I will never become a seaweed salesman'. I was embarrassed to tell my peers what my dad did for a living. Yet, little did I know how this perception was to alter and affect the direction of my life not many years later.
In 1960, aged sixteen, and with a handful of 'O' Level certificates from school, I got a job as an office boy in an advertising agency in London. For several years I commuted daily on the train to work, lost in the ordinariness and routine of it all, but observing how others much my elder had been doing this for perhaps decades. The thought of that becoming my reality was anathema and I resolved to make a change, somehow, anyhow.
Ma's best friend, who was also my Godmother, had married a Canadian, and after the war moved with him to Vancouver. The thought of going there, getting away from the familiar circumstances and influences that I felt were dragging me into their carousel of sameness and repetition, began to build in me. By summer 1963 I had decided this was a way forward; an 'escape to freedom'; freedom to discover the 'real me' hiding deep inside, that was in danger of inexorably becoming smothered by other people and the influence that their perceptions of what life was all about was subtly having upon me. Somehow, I knew there was more to life than all that and I had to get away in order to make a fresh start, with a clean slate, to discover what was really deep within me, seeking to come out.
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"I was floating in the air above and slightly behind a young man. I knew that young man was me."
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In April 1964 as I stood on the deck of the Cunard Line's SS 'Carmania' waving goodbye to Ma and Pop on the quay far below at Southampton dock, watching them slowly recede into the distance as we pulled out into deep water, I found myself looking down, from a state of complete peace, calm and inner knowing, at a young man, about ten feet below me. I was floating in the air above and slightly behind him. I knew that young man, not yet twenty years old, was me. How could this possibly be? At that time I knew nothing of out-of-body experiences, and had no idea what this ship-board event of seeing 'me' from outside myself was all about, and even less idea how much this was a portent of the great mystical and spiritual journey that lay before me.
Yes, I had read the Denis Wheatley novels about psychic matters, resonated with the sense they made to my mind and to my 'inner knowing'; I had dabbled with Ouija boards, through which there had been many communications from 'beyond' which all made perfect sense and which I accepted as a matter of fact, even though some souls in this earthly life warned of the danger of such activities and how they invited dark and satanic consequences. But the communications I had received were all from entirely benign, kindly, well-meaning, good-humoured souls, and I felt no sense of threat, evil or 'the slippery slope to hell', although I do not doubt that such is the experience of others who have similarly dabbled. (This is not intended to be either a recommendation for or a condemnation of Ouija boards; we all have God-given free will to choose, although the advice that has served me well through the decades is, If in doubt, do nothing.)
If anything, these experiences had strengthened my sense of matter-of-fact acceptance of the reality of Eternity and my place – indeed, the place of all humanity – within it. I had had a terrible, breath-taking, heart-stopping fear of death during much of my teen years. The word death, it seemed to me, indicated the complete end of life and consciousness, bringing only darkness, silence, emptiness, nothingness. Forever. This frightened me so badly I had palpitations, sweating palms and blurred vision every time I thought about it. Awareness of the reality of life continuing beyond this mortal existence on Earth being made real and tangible, through contact with those in that place beyond, was to me a very acceptable, reassuring, natural, sensible and exciting thing. It opened up possibilities that seemed endless, inspiring and utterly desirable. I was definitely eager to find out more, experience more, especially as all such experiences to date had been benign.
From earliest recollections of daily morning assembly at school, during which there were always at least one Bible reading, several hymns and several prayers, including the Lord's Prayer, I had accepted matter-of-factly that Jesus of Nazareth, this historical figure, was 'the Lord of mankind, the Son of God, the Christ' (whatever that meant); that the miracles he performed were real events – including his own resurrection – and that the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob was the one and only, true God of all creation. But this was somehow separate from 'real life' in middle England, where there was beer to be drunk, work to be done (unfortunately), cars to be driven, girls to be wooed, jokes to be shared. So I put God and all His appurtenances 'into a box' and tucked it out of sight, out of harm's way, trying to ignore It (or Him, as consensus reality would have it). But He never really was quite out of sight, out of mind. He was always there, just slightly out of focus. Well, quite a lot out of focus really, but somehow, never to be totally ignored or forgotten. Not for long anyway.
By about 1963 this 'never quite out of line of sight' God started to move more 'into my face', albeit in a rather indirect way. Right in the middle of the path of life along which I was skipping, blocking my progress so comprehensively that it was no longer dismissible, was this immeasurably large 'billboard', with sky-writingly large letters which read, purely and simply, EITHER THERE IS A GOD OR THERE IS NOT A GOD. This was not God presenting Himself in a confrontational manner. Rather it was, in a sense, me, presenting myself with the age-old question and saying to myself, 'Now is the time to face up to it fairly and squarely; you cannot go on ignoring this all-important issue indefinitely.'
It was axiomatic, incontrovertible – to me anyway – that this God of the Universe IS. I had been trying to live in denial of this, not wishing to be confronted by such an inescapable reality, because acceptance of it would mean that by the standards and values that were a crucial part of my persona, I would require of myself that something meaningful be done about it. The frightening question was What? Frightening because it would mean, by my then understanding, that I would have to change my lifestyle and do something about the fact that this God was not just the God of the Universe but the God of my own, personal life also. That was too close for comfort. After all, if this God had the attributes bestowed upon Him by the perceptions of orthodox religion – He was all-powerful, jealous, wrathful, vengeful, and could squash me like an insect at any moment of His choosing – then I wished to get, and remain, on His 'right side'.
I had no idea how to do this, but again, looking to orthodox consensus for guidance it seemed that the best way to get into God's good books would be to turn my collar round and traipse off to darkest Africa and 'convert the natives'. This may sound glib, pretentious, arrogant, or even, in this time of the new millennium, politically incorrect, but such was my naiveté at the time that I had no other perceptions of how 'serving God' might best be accomplished. However, this prospect did not appeal to me one bit. It did not seem the kind of endeavour with which I felt any resonance whatsoever. Not knowing where to go from there and since by this time I was making arrangements for moving to Canada, that is what I did.
During this several-months-long transitional stage of making the arrangements (writing for jobs, applying for immigration etc.), and then the actual moving from England to Canada, I began reading the Bible, something of which I had not done much in the past. However, I had read enough to know that Jesus was the focal point of the Christian scriptures, so I turned my attention first to the four gospel accounts of his life. This recapitulation seemed to reaffirm my lifelong, unquestioning acceptance that he was the Lord and that the best way to follow/serve God was to follow/serve Jesus. To do this, it seemed logical to get to know him better, and the only way I thought that could be possible was to start going to church again – something I had not done voluntarily since pre-adolescence.
Having arrived in Vancouver and settled in at my Godparents' house in a suburb called Richmond, in due course I sought out the local Anglican church (after all, being English that seemed the appropriate thing to do!). As I write this, some four decades on, even though I can clearly see the church building in my mind's eye and could no doubt even still find my way there, I can recollect not a single moment or experience inside it. My overall sense is that there was nothing memorable, uplifting or spiritually inspiring about it; not a moment in which I felt actually more in the presence of either Jesus or God within it than when I was away from that building.
After six months the time came for me to branch out on my own and I eventually settled in board and lodgings in Kerrisdale, a middle-class district of south Vancouver. I was still filled with a sense of purpose and commitment to serve God; more than ever, in fact, in spite of the rather non-event experience of attending the church in Richmond. Knowing of no other way to do this than through the church, and having noticed that no more than two or three blocks down the same street from my new accommodation was St Mary's Anglican church, I started attending, with renewed commitment and determination to stick with it. This caused me to soon be recognised as new, young, enthusiastic, committed-to-service blood. I was invited to teach Sunday school to a group of fourteen-year-old boys (no girls; segregation was absolutely the order of the day). This was very much an uphill struggle in which I can make no claim to victory. I was also invited to become a member of the church committee, the voluntary body of congregants who met monthly under the chairmanship of the parish vicar to run the church and all matters to do with it, including the fabric upkeep, maintenance and so on.
I was greatly flattered at this, for I was only twenty years old, a fire burning in me, bright as a magnesium flare, with desire to serve. All the other committee members were at least old enough to be my father and many were easily old enough to be my grandfather. I use the male gender here advisedly as there was not a single female on the committee.
At first I attended these meetings eagerly, anticipating that here, at last, would be that opportunity to serve that my soul had now been craving for the better part of a year. But, to my dismay, there was no spirituality or spiritually-uplifting energy in any of these meetings. They discussed, in an entirely mundane manner only, such matters as the adhesive on the collection-money envelopes, or autumn leaves blocking the gutters and what to do about them. Such discussions could easily take an hour to cover one subject, and often with much more heat than light being generated during the proceedings.
Some of the actual services had moments of more spiritual upliftment than at the Richmond church, especially the hymns, many of which did produce a sense of 'communion with my Lord and with my Creator'. There was also, as I recall, a magnificent stained-glass window over the altar, depicting Jesus in a typical scene as recorded in the Gospel accounts. I do not now specifically recall the scene, but it was probably Jesus at the lakeshore. It was a big window and the illustration of Jesus himself, portrayed in a very realistic way, was actually larger than life-size. As I knelt at the altar-rail to receive the bread and wine of Communion, I would look up at this image and in my heart and mind would be with him, in glorious, one-to-one, personal fellowship. Such moments of togetherness were sadly short-lived because although I would gladly have spent hours in this moment with my Lord, other communicants were lined-up behind me to take my place at the rail. I found it difficult to have and to develop a personal relationship with Jesus whilst in the midst of several hundred other congregants, some of whom were coughing, some snoring, some laughing and playing about, and all of whose presence were somehow inhibiting my ability to enter into my closet and fellowship with him there, an experience for which my heart ached interminably.
The overall church experience was immeasurably less inspiring, uplifting, fulfilling or spiritually rewarding than I had envisaged as the anticipated route to oneness with God, and the writing was on the wall that the parting of the ways was not far off. This was sealed when, after missing church for some weeks (having by now moved to accommodation somewhat more distant), I eventually received a phone call from another parishioner.
"Brian," he said, "where have you been? I have been trying to reach you for weeks now. I need to know how much money you are going to give to the church during the coming twelve months."
Roy, the fellow parishioner, made no enquiry for my well-being, either physical or spiritual. The sole interest was money. This accurately reflected my perception of the spirit of the church, whose annual outgoings – including stipends and all fabric costs – were $40,000 per annum and whose annual income was $80,000.
My perception, caused not just by this one event but many others where parishioners were given what was tantamount to instruction in how much to give, was that the church was obsessive about money. How far is the church – generally – from the counsel of him whom they claim to be following: "Seek ye first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness and all things shall be added unto you."? The word 'first' in Jesus' admonition appeared to have failed to find its true significance with those for whom the church was so important in their lives, and it seemed to me that the church had become stuck, in their perception, as ahead of God and Jesus in their list of whom or what they were supposed to be faithfully following.
However, unknown to me at that time, my heart's desire for moving closer to God and his Anointed Messenger, Jesus of Nazareth, had not gone unnoticed by Them.
Teachers of Sunday school used a teacher's manual to guide the lessons. On one particular Sunday I left my copy at the church hall, only realising it as I got home. Never mind, I thought, I'll pick it up next Sunday; it's bound to be there, in safe hands. After all, if it wasn't safe in church property, where would it be safe!?
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"Some invisible force took my hand and with it lifted a book off a shelf before I even saw it there."
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The next Sunday, astonishingly, it was nowhere to be found. Incredibly, there was not a single spare copy in the spare copies cupboard. There was nothing for it but to go to the Bible Bookshop downtown and buy another copy. No problem; the bookshop was on the same street as my office, just a few blocks away. Midweek, I walked there at lunchtime and bought a copy from the kindly lady who ran the shop. We chatted cordially for some time. Suddenly I realised it was time to get back to work, and headed for the door.