Foreshadow
by Brea Essex
Smashwords Edition
Copyright © 2011 BREA ESSEX
Published by Astraea Press
www.astraeapress.com
This is a work of fiction. Names, places, characters, and events are fictitious in every regard. Any similarities to actual events and persons, living or dead, are purely coincidental. Any trademarks, service marks, product names, or named features are assumed to be the property of their respective owners, and are used only for reference. There is no implied endorsement if any of these terms are used. Except for review purposes, the reproduction of this book in whole or part, electronically or mechanically, constitutes a copyright violation.
FORESHADOW
Copyright © 2011 BREA ESSEX
ISBN 978-1-936852-83-3
Cover Art Designed by Elaina Lee
Edited by Nia Plummer
To my father Jack, who always told me that I could be whatever I wanted to be and always encouraged me in my writing.
And to my husband Easton: thank you for your incredible patience with me while I wrote!
Angels are bright still, though the brightest fell.
~William Shakespeare, Macbeth
Part One
The Nightmare Begins
How many of our daydreams would darken into nightmares, were there a danger of their coming true!
~Logan Pearsall Smith
Chapter One
Raena
The flat tone of the monitor reverberated through my head as my mother's lifeless hand began to turn cold in mine. I stared into her empty eyes as a doctor came in and pronounced her time of death. A nurse reached over and disconnected the monitors, asking if I needed anything. "I'm fine," I insisted.
"Take as long as you need," the doctor told me, his voice low.
In all honesty, I couldn't wait to get out of the hospital. I'd grown sick of the cold, sterile environment. I was tired of their sympathetic looks. I had been there for weeks on end while my mother had lingered on the brink of death. I had no reason to stay now that she was gone. "It's okay. You can take her now. I've already said my goodbyes."
"We'll call you when her remains are ready," the doctor informed me.
"Okay."
I sat in the chair and watched as they covered my mother's body. They brought in a stretcher and moved her from the hospital bed, wheeling her out of the room. Everything felt as though it moved in slow motion. I wished they would hurry up so I could get out of there. I followed them to the door and watched until they reached the elevator. When the doors closed, cutting off my view of her for the last time, I gathered my things and began to leave.
A voice stopped me in the hall. "Excuse me, Miss Davenport?"
Hmm… I'd never been called "Miss" before. "Yes?" I turned and froze. The person standing behind me wore a police uniform.
"I'm Officer Miller." He flashed a badge. "I'm sorry for your loss."
I bit my lip, determined not to cry. "Thank you."
"Would you mind coming with me?" he asked.
"Am I in trouble?"
"No, not at all. I just need to speak with you."
I agreed, and he led me down the hall to an office. My mother's doctor sat behind the desk, and a woman in a suit sat in one of the chairs facing the desk.
"What's going on?" I demanded.
"Raena, sit down, please," the doctor said. "This will take a few moments."
Moving on autopilot, I sat in the only empty chair. Officer Miller leaned against the wall. "Will someone tell me what's going on?" I asked.
No one answered for a moment. The woman sitting next to me finally spoke up. "Hello, Raena, my name is Sonya. I'm a social worker with Child Protective Services." She paused, as if waiting for an answer to a question she had yet to ask.
"Umm…hi." What else did she expect me to say?
"We're sorry for your loss," she continued. I suspected I would be hearing a lot of that in the near future.
"What's this about?" I asked. "My mom's insurance should have covered all of her bills. Her cremation's all paid for."
"This doesn't have anything to do with bills, Raena," the doctor told me.
"Then what?"
The social worker spoke up again. "Your mother's will names Genevra and Shane Deville as your legal guardians."
"Yes." Genevra and my mother had lived down the street from each other when they'd been little and had stayed friends up until my mother died. So Genevra and Shane had been the logical people to name as my guardians, especially since they already had another foster daughter. "And?"
"Well, I'm afraid we cannot contact them at the moment."
"What do you mean?"
"It means we have to take you to a children's shelter until they can be reached to pick you up."
I stared at her, not quite comprehending. "I can't go home?"
"Since you're still a minor, we cannot legally allow you to return home by yourself."
"But I've been living by myself this whole time while my mom has been in the hospital," I protested, my voice rising.
"I'm sorry. We will try calling them again, but until we can contact them, I'm afraid we will have to take you to the shelter."
"Look, my mother just died. Isn't that enough for one day?"
"There's nothing I can do. You will have to come with me."
"Can I have a few minutes?"
The social worker began to protest, saying that she couldn't let me out of her custody. "Why don't you take her down to the cafeteria, Sonya?" the doctor suggested.
Great. I had been hoping to get away from her. "That's fine."
We headed downstairs to the cafeteria. "Do you want some coffee?" Sonya asked.
I sighed. "Look, I know you're just doing your job, but I'm not in a talking mood. We can get some coffee, but please don't expect me to spill my life story to you."
Her expression closed. I hadn't meant to hurt her, but I meant it when I said I didn't want to talk. I opened my mouth to apologize. She had turned away to order her coffee.
While she ordered, I turned around to look at the people crowding the cafeteria. I wondered how many of them had just lost parents, children, friends. Across the room, I spotted someone—a man who could only be described as a golden god. I couldn't help but stare at him. He looked only a little older than me, and he was incredibly hot. I realized my jaw had dropped, and I quickly snapped it shut before the heavenly vision positioned directly across from me noticed my brief stupidity. I rapidly looked him over, hoping he wouldn't notice my scrutiny. He had slightly spiked sandy hair with tips bleached by the sun, and a golden surfer tan. I took an involuntary step toward him.
"Raena?"
I turned. Sonya held her coffee. "Are you going to order?"
I looked back to where the golden man had been standing, but he had vanished. I had missed my chance. I shook my head to clear it. My mother had just died—I didn't need to be thinking about some guy. Still, talking to him might have been a welcome distraction—much better than talking to Sonya.
"You don't want anything?" she asked.
I pasted a strained smile on my face. Forget about the guy, I told myself. "No, I'll get something." I glanced at the menu. They didn't have chai. "I'll have a latte," I told the girl behind the counter.
As I waited for my drink, I looked around the cafeteria for the guy I had spotted. No sign of him anywhere. Still, looking for him had to be better than listening to Sonya ramble on.
But the longer I sat here and listened to her talk, the more time Genevra and Shane would have to get here. I had absolutely no desire to go to a children's shelter. I just wanted to go home, but that obviously wasn't going to happen, other than to pack. At least I was familiar with Genevra and Shane's home. Yes, definitely better to sit here and listen to Sonya talk. I sat back and sipped my latte, pretending to listen to her.
My phone rang. I pulled it out of my purse and glanced at the caller ID. It was Tanis, Genevra and Shane's foster daughter. "I need to take this," I told the social worker, answering it before she could respond.
"Raena, where are you?" Tanis demanded in lieu of a hello.
"At the hospital."
"Stay there. Mom and Dad are on their way. They were able to catch a last-minute flight."
"Really?"
"Yeah, they just got off the phone with the doctor."
"Okay, thanks for letting me know." I felt immensely relieved that I wouldn't have to go to the children's shelter.
"Hey, Raena? I'm sorry about your mom."
I smiled a little, even though she couldn't see me through the phone. "Thanks."
"I'll see you when you get here." She hung up without saying anything else.
Sonya stared at me curiously. "Who was that?"
Did she have to know everything? "Tanis, Genevra and Shane Deville's foster daughter. Other foster daughter," I amended. Now there would be two of us.
She nodded. "And?"
"They're on their way to get me. I didn't ask, but I'm guessing they'll be here in about an hour and a half, maybe two."
"Well, in that case, why don't we take you to your house so you can start packing?"
My house. It wouldn't be my first time entering it without my mother. I had done it many times before while she'd been in the hospital, but I had always thought she'd come home again. Now it only belonged to me.
When we got in the car, I gave her quick directions. I lived close to the hospital. Sonya didn't even bother to plug the address into her GPS. "I know where that street is. I can find it," she explained.
We were silent on the short drive to my house. She pulled into the driveway when we arrived.
I took off my seat belt. "Are you coming in with me?"
She nodded. "Yes, I have to. I'm legally obligated to stay with you until I can place you."
"Yeah, I get it." As I got out of the car, I noticed something small and black on the doorstep. When I got closer, I realized it was a kitten. With a low cry, I crouched down to check on it. It stood, stretched, and rubbed up against my outstretched hand. It seemed extremely tiny, but healthy enough. A glint at its neck caught my eye. I caught the pink heart-shaped charm, which read "Nuada." No address or phone number.
"I wonder where she came from." I mumbled out loud.
"Who knows?" Sonya said. "Are you going to keep her?"
Without answering, I picked the cat up and carried her into the house, with Sonya following at a distance. I stood in the entryway, surveying the interior of my house. "I can't believe my mom is gone. I mean, I knew it would happen, but it's hard to think I'll never see her again. She'll never step foot into this house again."
She came up behind me, placing her hand on my shoulder. "I wish I knew what to tell you."
"It's okay. I don't expect you to say anything. Thank you though."
I left her standing in the hall. I went to my room and stood in front of my closet, staring. Did I need to pack everything? I supposed I should. Las Vegas and Capitola, California weren't exactly that close to each other. But would Genevra and Shane let me bring all of my belongings? What would happen to the rest of our things? I grabbed my toothbrush and toothpaste. Would I need my hairdryer? I decided to take it. Tanis didn't seem like the sharing type.
Sonya stood looking at the photos hanging on the wall when I came out of my room with a suitcase in hand. "You look a lot like your mother."
"Thanks, but I don't see it."
"I can't help but notice that your father is missing from these photos."
"He died. I never met him."
"Your life has seen a lot of tragedy," she remarked. I chose to ignore that comment. "Do you need some help packing?"
I could tell that she'd offered mostly to make conversation, rather than actually wanting to help. "No, I've got it." I disappeared back down the hall to get the boxes I had stored in the extra room. I had known this was coming. I probably should have packed already, but I hadn't liked the idea of living out of boxes while my mother lay dying in the hospital.
My phone rang. It was Genevra. "We just landed," she informed me.
"Okay. I'm at my house packing."
"Didn't Tanis call you? We were going to pick you up at the hospital."
"Well, the social worker decided to bring me here so I could start packing."
She sighed. "We'll be right there."
Chapter Two
Genevra and Shane arrived shortly after I hung up with them. Genevra rushed over and hugged me as soon as she climbed out of the car. "I don't know whether to tell you 'I'm sorry,' or scold you for not being at the hospital like you were supposed to be."
"Sorry," I muttered. "I hadn't planned on leaving there."
"Are you packed?" she asked.
"Um…sort of."
"What do you mean 'sort of'?"
"I only have a couple of boxes packed," I admitted.
She sighed. "All right, let's go inside and get your things together." She looked at Sonya. "Who are you?"
"I'm Sonya, Raena's social worker. Are you Genevra Deville?"
Apparently, Sonya had some paperwork Genevra and Shane needed to sign. I wandered into my room to resume packing while they discussed their business.
"Raena, where are you?" Genevra called a little while later.
"Sorry!" I rushed down the hall from the bathroom, where I'd been packing up my makeup and hair products. "Here I am."
"The social worker is gone. Do you need some help?"
"Yeah." Just then, the cat ran down the hall. I had almost forgotten about her.
"When did you get a cat?" Genevra asked.
"I found her on the doorstep when I got home from the hospital. Can I please keep her? I kind of feel like she's good luck, or something. Like she's a last gift from my mom."
She sighed. "Well, I can hardly argue with you there. I think it will be okay. But you have to take care of her."
"Oh, I will! I promise."
"Does she have a name?"
"Yeah. Nuada." I put her down on the ground and glanced around. "I guess we should get back to packing. Let me see if I can find some suitcases."
"We brought some empty boxes with us if you need them," she offered.
"Um…sure. I have some boxes, but I might need more. I guess I should at least pack all my clothes, right?"
"I think it's a good idea."
Shane headed out to their car, and when he came back in we packed quickly. It felt odd, throwing the contents of my life into cardboard and sealing it away. I'll be taking it all out again when I get to Genevra and Shane's, I reminded myself. I couldn't think of their house as home. This was home. It always would be, despite my mom's absence.
"Are we ready?" Genevra asked after Shane had carried the last box out to the car.
"I guess so," I said. I grabbed my purse, and we headed for the door. I took one last look around the house, wondering when I would see it again. I reluctantly shut the door on my memories and locked it behind me.
Chapter Three
I was running late as usual. Tanis stood downstairs, waiting for me. "Hurry up, Raena!" she called from her position by the door. "I'm going to leave without you!"
Yeah right, I thought. Same threat every morning. Genevra would never let her leave me behind.
It had been a month since I'd moved in with Genevra, Shane, and Tanis—a month since my mother died. Even though I missed her, I'd try to make myself glad she had gone to a better place. Where that might be, I had no idea—it was just something people always told me when they found out I'd lost my mother.
I tried to hurry down the stairs, being careful not to trip in the oh-so-cute designer heels I had just bought. Retail therapy helped me cope with my grief—okay, not really, but it made for a great distraction. "All right, I'm here!" I told Tanis, exasperated. She rolled her eyes at me and walked outside without saying anything else.
"Aren't those a little impractical for school?" Genevra asked, coming into the foyer with my lunch in hand.
I grinned at her and took the proffered bag. "Yeah, I guess they are," I responded, "but they're so cute!"
Tanis leaned on the car horn, and I rushed outside, calling, "Bye, Genevra!" over my shoulder.
I climbed into the car and tossed my messenger bag—I would never wear a backpack—into the backseat. "About time," Tanis muttered under her breath.
"Relax," I told her. "We're not going to be late."
"I don't understand why you can't get up earlier."
"Because you hog the bathroom!"
"Maybe if you set your alarm earlier, you could get in there before me," she shot back.
Hmm…good point. I would have to think about her suggestion. I wasn't about to admit she might be right, so I just fell silent as Tanis pulled out of the driveway and headed toward the school.
"Are you ready for the English test?" she asked. We had the same teacher for English, but at different times.
"Uh, I guess so. I sort of studied."
"I don't know how you keep your grades up."
"If I study too much, I forget things," I informed her.
"That's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard."
"It's true, though," I said. "If I try to cram too much info into my head, stuff starts to fall out."
"I just don't get it." She shook her head.
I shrugged, not knowing what else to say. "So, what are you doing this weekend?" I asked to change the subject.
"Studying. Why?"
Big surprise. "I wanted to see if you wanted to go to a movie with Cady, Tristan, and me." I already considered Cadence Nicholls and Tristan Emerson my best friends, though to be honest, I spent more time with Tanis.
"Don't you work?" she asked.
"Yeah, this afternoon, but tonight's 'friend date' night. Do you want to go or not?"
She hesitated. "I don't know…"
"Oh, come on, you can take a few hours away from studying."
"Are you sure Cady and Tristan won't mind?" she asked.
"No, they won't care. If they do, too bad!"
"All right, then," she agreed as she pulled into the school parking lot and parked the car.
"Great! See you at lunch!" I vaulted out of the car, being sure to grab my bag, and tore off for class.
My day began with chemistry class, which went by quickly. After that, I had World Religions. I half loved it, and I half dreaded it. My teacher, Mr. Villar, was awesome, and the class kept me entertained. The only downside already sat in his seat beside mine when I arrived—Logan Conner. He shared all of my classes, but always seemed more obnoxious and outspoken during World Religions. Everything about Logan Conner irritated me. He acted so full of himself, it sickened me. I had never met anyone so annoying.
His name always reminded me of a soap opera star's, or a male model's. He could be either. I took in his short, wavy black hair, his muscular arms, and his sun-bronzed skin. His eyes were the most vibrant shade of green, almost as though someone had stuck two emeralds into his head. At the moment, opaque aviator sunglasses hid those glorious eyes. He wore his usual dark clothing that hinted at designer origins.
I shook my head to clear it. Why was I staring at him? I supposed for all his faults, Logan was extremely gorgeous. Actually, gorgeous didn't even begin to describe him, I decided. More like smoldering.
"You're not supposed to wear sunglasses in class," I reminded him as I dropped my bag on my desk.
Logan pulled his aviators down the bridge of his nose so he could peer at me from above the rims. "Well, if it isn't Raena," he murmured in a heavenly voice. I had long ago decided if there were such things as angels, they would look and sound like Logan. However, I didn't think they would act like him.
"It's Rae," I told him. "No one calls me Raena. I told you not to call me that."
He leaned closer. "And you can call me the guy you've been waiting for."
I rolled my eyes at him, but didn't answer as Mr. Villar came in and called the class to order. "Can anyone tell me something about Zoroastrianism?" he asked.
Tristan, sitting on the other side of me, raised his hand. When Mr. Villar pointed at him, he answered, "They worshiped a creator called Ahura Mazda."
"Hey, I'm down with Zoroastrianism—I could worship my car!" Logan cut in with a laugh.
"Ahura Mazda is not the same as your car," I shot back, rolling my eyes.
"Who do you think they named the car after?" he asked sarcastically.
"This is just one more example of your intolerance of other cultures," I told him.
"Tell me, how am I intolerant? I'm just kidding around. I said their god sounds like the name of my car. Wow, Raena, calm down. Hey, maybe the guy should be called Acura Mazda—then he'd be named after two cars!" He burst out laughing, and most of the class followed suit.
"You shouldn't make fun of others' religions," I shouted over the laughter. "How would you feel if someone made fun of your beliefs?"
He leaned close to me. "And what do you believe?" he asked quietly.
I couldn't hear him well over the noise our classmates were making. Now they'd started to talk about cars. "I—I'm not sure anymore," I admitted.
"Maybe you should figure it out before you start accusing others of intolerance."
I stared at him, but Mr. Villar began his lecture before I had a chance to respond. After class I put my things away slowly in hopes of catching Logan alone. I waved for Tristan to go on without me.
Logan noticed me hovering and stood up. We were no more than a hand's breadth apart. Up close, he seemed even taller and more intimidating. "Yes?" he asked.
"What did you mean, I should figure out what I believe?"
"Did I say that?" He shrugged. "I just meant that you should decide what you believe in. Nothing more."
"I used to know," I admitted.
"What happened?"
"My mother died," I replied.
He nodded as if he understood. "It happens to a lot of us."
"What do you believe, Logan?" I asked out of curiosity.
"I believe if you don't move, we will both be late for class," he responded.
I rolled my eyes at him again. "I'm trying to ask you a serious question."
"Sorry, that's all the time we have. Now if you don't mind…" He gestured for me to precede him out the door.
What a pointless conversation. I grabbed my bag off my desk and left, not bothering to see if he followed or not.
Chapter Four
I could sense something behind me even before I turned. I whirled, not knowing what to expect. Fog swirled around me, and wind whipped my hair into my eyes, making them water. I squinted, trying to make out shapes in the dark. I felt a steaming breath on my neck and swung around again. A large figure loomed over me. I tried to make out its features, but everything seemed blurry, and I stepped back. I started to flee, but its hand shot out and seized my elbow before I could escape. Its free hand grasped my chin and tilted my face upward, forcing me to look in its eyes. It seemed almost familiar somehow. It…he smiled, offering me a hateful grin. My mouth opened, and I began to scream…
My scream echoed against my bedroom walls as I shot up in bed. I shook my head, trying to clear it of the last vestiges of my nightmare. I flipped on my bedside light and looked around my room. Nothing seemed amiss. Still breathing heavily, I launched myself out of bed and checked my window. It remained locked. I peered out into the night, trying to figure out why it seemed so foreboding. I yanked my curtains closed and willed myself to calm down before I started hyperventilating.
I was home alone. No one would come storming into my room to find out why I had been shrieking.
I paced the worn hardwood floor in front of my bed, the tattered hems of my pale purple pajamas dragging. My cat, Nuada, stood up from where she had been sleeping next to me. She stretched, yawned, turned around a few times, and plopped back down to watch me. We had brought her with us from Las Vegas, leaving posters all over my old neighborhood with our phone number. After receiving no calls, Genevra and Shane agreed I could keep her. They'd even had our address engraved on her name tag. She had been my constant companion since, and at times it almost seemed as though we could understand each other.
I flung myself onto my bed next to Nuada and glanced at my clock. Only ten twenty-four? Genevra and Shane would be home from their date night soon. Tanis had left for a friend's house right after the movie ended and wouldn't be home until the next morning.
I stared at the clock some more and chewed my lip, debating on which of my new best friends to call. I briefly considered calling Tristan, but thought better of it. He wasn't the comforting type of guy. He would just give me a lecture about how dreams weren't true, and they couldn't harm me.
My decision made, I picked up my phone and flipped to my favorite numbers. I tapped the screen to call Cady. She picked up on the first ring. "Hi, Rae!" she chirped. "What's up?" She always seemed cheery, no matter the time of day.
"Hey, Cady," I responded. "Not much. I just had the weirdest dream." I didn't bother asking if I had awakened her. She never went to bed before midnight and still always got up by seven to make it to school on time.
"You were asleep already?"
"Yeah, we got home over an hour ago," I reminded her. We had caught an early movie because of my ten o'clock curfew.
"Yeah, I know. So what was your dream about?"
"It was seriously creepy," I told her. "It was all dark and foggy, and there was this guy…"
"Oooh! A guy?" she interrupted me. "Was he cute?" Cady was boy-crazy.
"No, I already told you the dream was creepy. But since you mentioned it, I'm not sure what he looked like. I couldn't make out his face."
"That is kind of creepy," she agreed. "What do you think it meant?"
"I'm not sure," I admitted. "I'm almost afraid to try to figure it out."
"I wouldn't worry about it." She giggled, her laughter echoing through the phone. "Hey, you should call Logan! God knows he lives to over-analyze everything!"
"Oh my gosh, why would I call Logan?" I asked. "I don't even have his number, nor do I want it. Besides, I don't think I'm up for an analysis right now."
"Maybe not, but at least you'd have his sexy voice to lull you back to sleep." She giggled again.
I rolled my eyes, thankful she couldn't see me through the phone. She would be hurt. Maybe I made a mistake in calling Cady, I thought. "Logan is not sexy," I informed her. "He's annoying."
"Well, he may be annoying, but he is seriously good-looking! His eyes are sooo gorgeous. You're so lucky to be able to sit next to him in all your classes."
"Most of my classes," I absentmindedly corrected her.
"Most of your classes," she amended. "Seriously though, I'm a little jealous! What I wouldn't give to be able to sit next to Logan Conner all day long. You don't even realize how lucky you are."
"Uh-huh." I had stopped paying attention to her Logan-obsessing. My thoughts had wandered back to my dream—I'd begun to feel more like it had been a nightmare.
"Rae! Are you listening?" Cady's voice cut into my meandering thoughts.
I jumped guiltily. "Huh? Yeah, yeah of course I'm listening."
"What did I just say?"
Crap. "Uh…something about Logan's eyes?" I guessed.
"Try again." She didn't sound like her perky self anymore.
"His hair?" I asked.
"Nuh-uh. Well, I should let you go 'til a third strike, but obviously you weren't listening! I gotta go. I'll see you at work tomorrow."
"Cady, wait! I was distracted by my dream! Cady?" My protests were cut off by a beep, then nothing. I glanced down at my phone, but she'd hung up. "That went well," I muttered to myself. I would have to fix things with her in the morning at work. With a heavy sigh, I shut off my bedside lamp, rolled over and fell back asleep.
Chapter Five
I stood on the edge of the pier, gazing out at the flat, grey ocean. There were no waves, and the sea appeared like murky glass stretching as far as the horizon. In one hand, I held a plastic box containing my mother's ashes. In the other I carried a bouquet of her favorite flowers—pink carnations.
A breeze stirred my hair, carrying with it the scent of salt and fish. The fog hanging low on the water mirrored the fog clouding my mind. The nearby fishermen ignored me, too intent upon watching their lines.
Adjusting to life in Capitola had been difficult. It was so dreary, so grey. I missed the sun of Las Vegas. I closed my eyes, trying to remember the feel of the sun beating down on my face. I tried to ignore the mist from the fog—or was it starting to rain?—and the cold wind, which made me shiver despite my thin jacket. Nothing had been right since I had left Vegas. Nothing had been right since my mother had died.
I cut that thought off. It still hurt too much to think of her. I missed her, yet I blame her. If she hadn't died, I wouldn't be stuck here, in a place I didn't like, with people I didn't like.
Opening the lid of the box, I upended it over the railing. I watched as the wind caught the ashes before they settled on the surface of the water. Then, one by one, I tossed the carnations into the surf. There they drifted, waiting for the current to pick up and wash them out to sea.
"Raena?" A tentative call broke into my thoughts. Tanis, of course. I sighed and turned, leaning my back against the pier railing. I didn't answer, just continued to stare over the steely waters, lost in my own world.
She tried again. "Raena?" No matter how many times I asked to be called by my nickname, she just didn't listen. "Mom asked me to come find you. I had to search all over town before I thought to look here. You must be freezing!"
I just shook my head. Genevra may be mother to Tanis, but not to me. She had been with Genevra and Shane for a long time. They were the only parents she remembered. I had a mother—at least, I used to.
She misunderstood the shake of my head. "Well, you may not be cold, but I am! Come on, I brought the car. Let's hurry up. I don't know how you walked all the way out here in this weather." She headed back down the pier, beckoning me to follow her.
I rolled my eyes at her behind her back. It wasn't all that cold, and we weren't that far from our house. Tanis had just turned seventeen, a year older than me, and sometimes Genevra and Shane allowed her to borrow their late-model Tahoe. They didn't drive it since they had bought their new one, but it ran well.
She had been with them so long that they trusted her to take the car around town. I wondered whether they would ever trust me that much. I had considered asking them if they would help me get my license, but dismissed the idea. Who knew how long I would be there?
Besides, I didn't want to become like Tanis if I got my license. Since she had begun driving, she refused to walk anywhere. I loved to walk when the weather permitted. But now that I thought about it, having my license might come in handy on rainy days when I needed to escape my new "family."
"Where'd you park the car?" I asked.
Tanis gave me an annoyed look. "At the park, of course. It's a weekend. You think I'm going to pay for parking?"
I didn't see why she'd bothered to bring the car at all, when we lived less than a mile from the Village. I wondered whether she would just let me walk all the way home by myself. Ordinarily, I wouldn't mind being with her, but today I didn't want company. That's why I had been out on the pier. Even though the pier scared me a little, it was still the best place to be alone with my thoughts.
It might seem silly to be scared of a pier, but the thing just seemed so rickety. The boards creaked ominously under my feet as I walked, and I thought they were placed too far apart. I was convinced that if there were a good strong earthquake, the whole structure would collapse, taking the fishermen and the restaurant with it. I had been assured many times of its soundness. Since I had no knowledge whatsoever of construction, I had to believe it.
Still, the end of the pier had been choice real estate when I wanted to be alone. Now that Tanis had found my hiding spot, I might have to find another.
I slowed as we walked towards the Village. I glanced up the stairs leading to the coffee shop longingly, mentally calculating how much money I had in my wallet. Should I ask her if we could stop?
I decided it wouldn't be a good idea. No reason to give her yet another place to find me. She wouldn't approve of it anyway. Just the fact that it sat above a restaurant with a bar would make it "unseemly" in her book.
I, on the other hand, spent many afternoons there, reading and begging them to let me play the neglected stand-up piano. I hadn't had a chance to play since my mom had died. Most of the things from our house had been put into storage. I had asked Genevra and Shane if I could have my piano shipped from the storage facility in Las Vegas to their house, but they had refused. It wouldn't fit in their already crowded house.
I started walking faster, wanting to be rid of Tanis. I glanced at the people on the beach, wondering why they would be out there this early in the year. Sure, it would be May soon, but it was so grey and cold. I knew there would eventually be some sun, but not for another couple of weeks. Weather seemed to mean nothing to these people.
We marched up the hill from the Village, Tanis pausing at the railroad tracks, although I had never seen a train go through there. We dashed across the busy street to the small park, which was empty as usual, reaching the car at last.
I tried to ignore her all the way home. Unfortunately, she decided to start talking the moment we got in the car, rambling about how she wanted me to go shopping with her. I used to love to shop with my mother and as a result, I already had a ton of clothes, shoes, accessories. You name it, I had it. I loved retail therapy, but I just didn't feel up to it today.
I begged off the shopping trip, claiming I had a paper to work on, which I didn't, and that I had to work later, which I did. I had gotten a part-time job at a bakery. They made incredible pastries and did good business most of the time, which served to take my mind off things. People often came over the hill from San Jose just for a pastry or cookie. I kept enough to fund my coffee habit and deposited the rest into savings.
I didn't need any more money for college, but I figured I should save for something. My mother had started a college fund for me when I'd been born and had made deposits religiously, so tuition would be covered. I also had my mom's life insurance money, which I would receive after my eighteenth birthday. Money came out of the account every month and went to Genevra and Shane for my care. My mother had been extremely organized, for which I was thankful.
Startled from my reverie, I realized we were already pulling into the driveway. I mumbled a word of thanks to Tanis and fled upstairs. I ignored Genevra in the hallway as she asked where I had been—Tanis would fill her in. Stepping into my room, I closed the door, being careful to not slam it behind me.
I threw myself onto the bed and lay on my back, staring unseeing at the ceiling. I couldn't help but feel like something huge loomed on the horizon. I had gotten the same feeling when my mother had come out of remission the last time, right before she died. A chill ran down my spine. I hoped against all hope that this time my feeling would be wrong. Maybe this time something good would happen instead.
Banishing the morose thoughts from my head, I turned on my side and curled into a ball. Nuada appeared from her hiding spot beneath my bed. She jumped up next to me and curled up on the pillow. I petted her, and she began to purr. I lay there petting the cat and watching the numbers slowly change on my bedside clock until time to leave for work.
Chapter Six
Work went by in a blur. Cady stayed quiet. She must still be mad about last night, I thought. I needed to get her alone so I could apologize. There just wasn't time right now. The bakery was pretty busy today, and I embraced the distraction. My dream still bothered me, and I didn't have to think about it while I helped customers.
The door opened, and I cringed as Logan walked in. I watched as he approached the counter. Even his walk exuded arrogance. I had been thinking about our conversation from the day before. I still couldn't answer his question, and it bothered me for some reason.
He leaned up against the glass case, pulling his ever-present aviators off his face and holding them in his hand. Even though Capitola was fairly small, I didn't run into him outside of school often. In fact, I'd never seen him come in here. He didn't order anything, just stood there.
"What do you want, Logan?" I asked.
His eyes widened in mock surprise. "Now, now, Raena! Is that any way to speak to a paying customer?"
I glared at him. "You're not a paying customer. You're not ordering anything. You're just standing there being an annoyance."
He put his hand to his chest and gasped. "Why Raena, you wound me! I had no idea you felt that way about me."
I leaned forward and got in his face. I didn't know why, but his attitude made me angrier than usual. "You flatter yourself too much if you think I feel anything about you. I couldn't care less what you say or do. Now please order something or leave me alone."
Logan chuckled. His emerald eyes held my hazel ones. "You know what?" he said, his voice pitched low. "I've changed my mind. I'll just stop by the grocery store and pick up the bread my mom wanted." He slid his aviators over his eyes, blocking them from my view. He reached one hand up, slowly brushing it across my cheek and down my jaw. "I'll see you tomorrow, Raena." With that promise he left, leaving me gaping at his back.
Cady came up behind me. "What did Logan want?" she asked.
"I'm not sure," I told her. "He didn't order anything."
"It's weird to see him in here," she said. "I've never seen him here before. Have you?"
"Nope. As if I don't have to see him enough at school. Now he's showing up here and tormenting me."
She frowned. "Well, it was way weird. I wonder if he'll start coming in more often."
"I don't know. Hey, does this mean you're talking to me again? I'm sorry about last night."
"Yeah, I guess I forgive you. It's just annoying when you're not paying attention to what I'm saying. Seriously Rae, you're so spacey sometimes."
"Sorry, I don't mean to be," I apologized.
"I know, I know. You're always lost in your own thoughts. Just try to cut it out. Anyway, let's guess why Hottie McHotterson came into our work."
I didn't answer her. I had already forgotten my promise to pay better attention to things. I barely heard Cady. I continued staring out the door, wondering to myself what Logan Conner could want.
****
Logan
I left the bakery, silently cursing myself. Why am I always so obnoxious to her? I refused to admit what I thought my problem might be. I didn't think I'd be so immature as to be rude to a girl I liked.
I mused about it for a moment. Did I like her? I shook my head. It couldn't be possible.
When I reached my car, I climbed in and just sat in the driver's seat, unmoving. My mind started to drift, thinking about Rae. Liking her was out of the question. She was too smart for me, too…distant. She always seemed so closed off. Yet her mystery intrigued me.
Anyway, she hated me. Still, I couldn't help but wonder what she might think if I cut the sarcasm and started acting like myself—if I allowed her to see the real me for once.
I sighed, deciding to just let it go for now. I stuck my key into the ignition and jammed the clutch pedal down with my left foot, readying to start the engine. I just needed to stop thinking about her. She's just too good for me.
Chapter Seven
Raena
As soon as I clocked out, I headed straight for the Village. I went to the coffee shop, taking the stairs up to the establishment as quickly as I could. I desperately needed some caffeine, the more the better. I wished Cady had gotten off at the same time I had. I generally preferred to be alone, but I needed to schedule a coffee date or something with her to make things right.
I reached the head of the stairs, turned the corner toward the counter—and froze. An incredibly hot guy stood behind the counter, one who seemed familiar somehow. Where did he come from? I wondered to myself. I instantly forgot all about the earlier drama with Logan as I gazed at the gorgeous man across the small shop. He turned toward me with a slightly lopsided smile that showcased straight, blindingly white teeth. I slowly approached the counter.
"Hello there. What can I get you?" he asked, with a hint of a Russian accent that I found extremely attractive.
I gazed up at him, willing myself not to gawk. Our eyes met and locked—his were as blue as the sea during the summer, and gleamed with a hint of teasing. "I'll have an iced chai, please," I murmured, momentarily forgetting my earlier single-mindedness of consuming large amounts of caffeine.
"Coming right up."
As he turned to make my drink, I took a few deep breaths. "So, are you new here?" Great, I sound like I'm trying to pick him up or something.
The lopsided grin returned. "Yeah, today's my first day. I'm the new manager. My name is Andrei." He stuck out his hand for me to shake.
I hesitantly grasped it, noticing how warm and bronzed it was. "I'm Rae. I'm in here all the time. You'll see a lot of me, I'm sure." I felt my face flame. Why was I being so forward?
"I'm looking forward to it, Rae. Here's your iced chai," he announced as he handed me a glass.
I quietly thanked him and wandered over to sit near the piano. I usually liked to sit by the window so I could watch the roiling of the ocean and the people wandering below, but all the window seats were taken. To my surprise, Andrei followed me to my table. He leaned against the piano and sighed. "It's a shame we're not allowed to play this," he lamented.
My eyes widened. "Do you play?"
"I used to play all the time when I lived at home. Unfortunately, my dorm room doesn't offer much space for a piano. I have a keyboard, but it's just not the same."
"I agree," I told him. "It isn't the same. I'm having the same problem where I live."
"Do you live in a dorm, too?"
I laughed. "Me? No. I'm not in college. I go to the high school. But the house I live in doesn't have room for my piano. I have a keyboard, too, but it's definitely not as good."
"You're still in high school? I don't believe it."
"Yeah, I'm a junior. I'm sixteen."
He placed his hand to his chest in mock astonishment. "I would have guessed at least eighteen."
I wondered if this meant that he wished I was at least eighteen, and for a brief moment, I wanted it to be true. He was so—delicious—but no way would he go for a high school girl. "Thanks, but I'm not quite there yet. I still have almost a year and a half to go before I hit eighteen."
"Well, age doesn't matter. I'm just barely eighteen myself." His eyes glinted with silent humor. "You seem rather mature for your age anyway."
I ducked my head, my face on fire again. "Thanks," I mumbled. Seriously, can't I come up with a wittier response?
"I know this may be a bit forward, but would you like to go to dinner with me sometime?" he asked suddenly.
Did he just seriously ask me out? I looked up at him again. "Sure," I said. "That would be nice."
"What about tonight?" he asked hesitantly. "I know it's short notice and all, and I completely understand if you say no. But I'd really love to see you. I'll take you to Shadowbrook." He named one of my favorite restaurants, which also happened to be one of the nicest—not to mention one of the most expensive—in the area.
I hesitated. I didn't want to seem too eager, but I couldn't believe this gorgeous guy wanted to take me out. I would be beating myself up forever if I missed this opportunity.
"It's okay. I understand," he said, his face falling. "I'm coming on too strong. All right. Some other time then."
I realized that as I'd been lost in my internal debate, I had failed to answer him. "No, not at all! I would love to go to dinner with you tonight!" I said enthusiastically, unable to hold back my excitement.
His face lit up again. "Great! How about if I pick you up at seven?"
"Seven would be perfect." I pulled a pen and paper out of my purse and jotted down my address and phone number for him. I had never had someone make a move so fast, not that I minded. I handed him the slip of paper. "I'll see you then."
He took the paper from me, his hand lingering on mine for a moment. "I'm looking forward to it, Rae. I'm really glad you came in today."
I met his gaze boldly. "So am I. Now I should probably go, so you can get back to work. I don't want to get you in trouble on your first day."
"Who am I going to get in trouble with? I'm the manager, and I'm the only one here, remember?" he said with a laugh.
"That's true. Well, I should still let you get back to work." I stood up, grabbing my purse and slinging it onto my shoulder.
He grabbed my hand. "I will see you tonight, Rae."
"Can't wait," I replied as I walked toward the door.
Chapter Eight
I walked home slowly, trying to absorb what had just happened. This totally cute and sweet guy had just asked me out! I hadn't been on a date since I'd moved to Capitola.
I stopped in the middle of the sidewalk as it struck me that the last time I had been to Shadowbrook had been with my mom, when we had come to visit Genevra and Shane. The bemused smile which had been on my face since leaving the coffee house disappeared. As much as I loved the restaurant, I didn't know if I could face the place without being overwhelmed with emotion. I started to turn back to the coffee shop. Maybe I should break the date.
I shook my head to clear it and started walking once more. I couldn't keep living in the past. I wanted to go to dinner with Andrei. I couldn't mess this up. Maybe I could ask him to take me somewhere else—hopefully, he would understand.
Cady's gonna be annoyed when I tell her about this. She wanted to hang out tonight, I thought, grinning to myself. I knew Tristan would scold me, though. I can hear him now. "You should be studying instead of going out…Blah, blah, blah…"
A deep male voice interrupted my thoughts. "Hey, baby. Going my way?"
I whirled, intending to tell off the offending guy attached to the voice. I saw…Logan. Again. He had stopped his car in the middle of the street. Cars were beginning to line up behind him, honking loudly. He rolled down his passenger window and leaned across the seat, smirking at me.
I felt my face flame with embarrassment. "Logan, go away!"
He straightened, and for a moment I thought he would heed my command. Instead he pulled his car into an available parking space just ahead of me. He killed the engine, stepped out of his car, and sat on the hood. He didn't bother to feed the meter.
"Aren't you going to pay for parking here?" I asked him.
"Why?" he replied. "I'm not staying. Where are you headed, Raena?"
"It's none of your business!" I exclaimed, feeling childish.
He shrugged. "Fine. I was going to offer you a ride, but if you won't tell me where you're going… I guess I can't drive you if I don't know where we're headed."
"Why would I want a ride from you?" I demanded.
"Just trying to be polite. Those shoes don't exactly look comfortable." He gestured to my heel-clad feet. "I don't know how you work in those, let alone walk."
"They aren't that bad," I told him. "They aren't even very high."
"Just get in the car," he said with a sigh. "Let me take you home, or wherever it is you're going."
"Give me one good reason why I should go anywhere with you," I challenged.
He raised his hands in surrender. "Never mind then. Have it your way." He slid off the hood of his car, but hesitated. "I'm going to offer one last time. It's up to you whether you accept or not."
I stared at him, unsure of his change in attitude. "Why are you being so nice?"
He didn't answer for a moment. "I'm not sure. As much as I enjoy annoying you, maybe it's time to put our battles behind us. I feel as though…I don't know. It's like I need to look out for you or something, okay?"
It still seemed weird, but I found it interesting to see him behave like a human being. After a little consideration, I decided to accept his offer. I would get home faster, which would mean more time to get ready for my date with Andrei. It would also give me the opportunity to see if this new side of Logan was for real or not. Besides, my feet did hurt, although I wasn't about to admit that to him.
"All right," I conceded. "I'll let you drive me home."
He seemed mildly surprised. "Okay, get in." He clicked the button on his key ring to unlock the passenger door.
I hesitated as I reached for the door handle. "What's wrong? Afraid of my driving?" he asked.
"No, just wondering about your motivation," I admitted.
"There's nothing to wonder about," he assured me. "I'm trying a new thing—being nice. Call it turning over a new leaf or whatever."
I realized I must have been staring at him in something like shock, because he started laughing all of a sudden. "What?" I snapped at him.
"Nothing," he replied, still chuckling at me. "You just look like you would never expect me to be nice to you."
"That's true," I muttered under my breath as I opened the car door.
"Don't think I didn't hear you," he told me. "I have extremely good hearing."
I refused to answer as I climbed into his car, closing the door behind me.
Logan got in as well and jammed his key into the ignition. I buckled my seatbelt and sat there waiting, but we didn't move.
After a moment I asked him, "What are you waiting for? I thought you were taking me home."
"Yeah, there's a slight problem. I don't know where you live," he reminded me.
"Oh." I felt like a moron. With the way he'd been popping up everywhere, I hadn't thought about the fact that he didn't know where I lived. Just because I thought he acted like a stalker didn't mean he was one. I gave him quick directions and settled back into the seat, clutching my purse in my lap.
I stayed silent the whole way home. Logan seemed content to let me have the quiet I craved. While I appreciated the ride, I wasn't entirely convinced he didn't have an ulterior motive. I didn't want to talk to him, so I just studied him covertly out of the corner of my eye as he drove.
"Can't stop staring at me, hmm?"
I pulled my eyes from their minute study of his face. I blushed, embarrassed that he had caught me. "I wasn't staring at you!" I shot back, immediately on defense. "I was just…" I trailed off. I had been staring at him—no way around it. I wouldn't admit it to him though.
I glued my eyes to the road, determined to not look at him again. He was nice to look at, but he was still a jerk. It didn't matter to me that he was being nice right now. Besides, I had just agreed to go on a date with Andrei. I shouldn't be staring at another guy. It wouldn't be fair to Andrei.
We turned down my street, and Logan pulled into my driveway. The drive had seemed to take an eternity while we were on our way, yet I found myself a little disappointed we had arrived at my house so soon.
I stayed in the car for a moment. "Um, thanks for the ride, Logan."
"Any time," he murmured with a small smile.
"I guess…I'll see you Monday?" I asked.
"Of course," he responded. "See you."
I opened the car door and climbed out, slinging my purse over my shoulder.
"Hey, Raena?" he called as I began to close the door.
"Yeah?"
"Try not to miss me too much over the weekend." He winked at me.
I bit back a retort, realizing I didn't have a good enough comeback. I just shook my head at him and closed the door, heading for the house.
I hit the doorstep and ran up the stairs to my room, where I immediately started tearing through my closet. I had no idea what I was going to wear. At least I had a few hours to figure it out. I considered and rejected every single item, until I came to my favorite emerald dress wedged in the back corner. Perfect! Even though it was my favorite dress, I didn't wear it often. I only donned it for special occasions, and I felt as though this counted as one. Emerald green is one of my favorite colors, and it contrasted well with my hazel eyes and pale skin. I pulled the dress out of the closet, hung it on the back of my door, and headed for the shower.