TAKE THE LID OFF
Unleashing Your
Unlimited Potential
by
Carol Holm
with Cami Newsome
Smashwords Edition
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Published on Smashwords by:
C&C Books
494 North Meridian
Street
Blackfoot, Idaho 83221
Phone:
208-785-6218
www.takethelidoffbook.com
Take the Lid Off
Copyright 2012 by Carol Holm
ISBN: 978-0-9840104-4-8
All rights reserved. Without limiting the rights under copyright reserved above, no part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in or introduced into a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form, or by any means (electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise) without the prior written permission of both the copyright owner and the above publisher of this book.
Smashwords Edition License Notes
This ebook is licensed for your personal use only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each person you share it with. If you are reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then you should return to Smashwords.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the author’s work.
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DEDICATION
I
dedicate this book to my family:
To
my husband Dayle, who first taught me how to dream.
To
my children Brett, Cami, Jason, Darin, and Ryan, and their
spouses—for their willingness to support me in all of my dreams.
To my grandchildren and future great grandchildren, with the hope that the ideas in this book will give them a road map to achieve the things that are important to them, and that each will recognize their God-given potential.
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TABLE OF CONTENTS
CHAPTER 1: The Power of the Mind
CHAPTER 2: Reprogramming Your Self-Image
CHAPTER 3: Your Individual Genius
CHAPTER 4: Your Goal-Seeking Device
CHAPTER 6: The Law of Attraction
CHAPTER 7: Synthetic Experiences
CHAPTER 10: Your Power to Choose
CONCLUSION: Unleash Your Unlimited Potential
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I have been working on this book for over ten years. Throughout the process, I was constantly asking for help and feedback from dozens of people, which makes it impossible to thank everyone who had a hand in its completion. But without the contribution of a few key individuals, this book would never have happened...
First of all, I want to acknowledge my daughter, Cami, who has been there every step of the way. She knows and understands the concepts as well as I do, and she was always there to listen and help me fully develop every idea. I am very appreciative of her eye for detail, inquiring mind, and patience through the years.
When we hired Joanne Smith to work in our financial advising office, we had no idea that she had a natural understanding and love for the laws of the mind, as well as the ability to put those ideas on paper. With her calm and steady personality she was there to help us past the hurdles, and to keep us moving towards our ultimate goal of having the book published.
My husband Dayle is my biggest fan. He has been such a great support to me, and even when he joined Cami and me to travel around the world, he would be there at each and every meeting, cheering me on and listening to me speak. Lately he has had to endure all of the hours I have spent working on the book, and I am grateful to him for his constant patience and love.
My friend Darren Martin was the first person to really “hold my feet to the fire” about getting the book completed and for that I am very appreciative. I also want to thank HighSpot Inc for their efforts in keeping us on the right track and helping us through the difficult process of getting a book published.
Thanks to all of my family, friends, clients, and peers, for cheering me on and having faith in me and my ability to write this book.
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I have worked side by side with Carol for almost 20 years, first as her administrative assistant and now as her business partner. Someone once asked me how I would describe our relationship. My initial reaction was, “Complicated.” As with any relationship there are always different dynamics, but add in the fact that Carol is also my mother and those dynamics become magnified.
Despite our differences, working with Carol has been a great opportunity. Through all the ups and downs that life brings us, she has continued to study the laws of success. I have been there to watch and support her as she tested each new piece of information that she found, to see if her latest discovery was another piece of the puzzle to achieving success.
This book could be considered a culmination of all Carol’s studying and testing; I see it as the end of a long journey that began back in 1976 when she stood beside my dad, Dayle, as they watched in shock while a man from the bank locked the front doors of their failed business.
It was only three years earlier that they had eagerly opened their motorcycle and snowmobile shop, excited to have a business doing something they loved. Unfortunately, after three straight winters of record low snowfalls, they weren’t selling enough snowmobiles to keep up with the mounting expenses.
At the time I couldn’t tell which was more painful for them—having people stop by the house every day to collect money, or the auction that was like neon lights flashing their failure to the world. I think the final blow came as they met with an attorney who looked at the numbers and said to them, “You owe so much money, there is no way you can ever pay it all off.” His solution was for them to file for bankruptcy, but neither of them felt that was the right thing to do. So instead of leaving their creditors hanging, they decided that my mom, who had been a stay-at-home mom, needed to go to work to help pay off the debt. That’s how she began her career as a life insurance agent for New York Life Insurance Company.
Her first year in the business was tough; she was still devastated from going broke and now she was also struggling to manage a new career while raising myself and my three brothers. But finally, by the end of the first year, she was selling the recommended 10 life insurance policies a month.
Just when we could see things starting to improve, my parents broke the news to the family that my mom was unexpectedly pregnant with their fifth child. So there she was, desperately trying to figure out how to survive financially, but now with five young children, a struggling new career and a mountain of debt to pay off.
It was during those difficult times that her passion for studying the laws of success took on new meaning. She was like a sponge. In her spare time she was reading everything she could get her hands on. With each book she read, she kept saying that she was looking for just one new idea, one more piece of the puzzle that would help her put it all together. Each time she learned a new concept, she would experiment on herself to see if it really worked.
When I started working for Carol as her administrative assistant, I was able to witness her successes first-hand. As her passion for the laws of success grew, she found herself being asked to speak to groups of people about what she was learning. She spoke about how it was working in her life and how she applied it to her career to set and achieve goals. Soon she was sharing her ideas with audiences all across the country.
After hitting rock bottom with the closing of their business and then spending countless hours researching and experimenting, Carol decided to put together everything she had learned, and lay it on the line. She announced that she was going to be New York Life’s top agent in sales.
It was at this same time that Jerry Borrowman, a trainer for New York Life who was also a published author, decided they should write a book about her experiences in the business. It would include the things she’d learned about tapping into the power of the mind. Jerry even had New York Life agree to purchase 4,000 copies of the book if she led the company in sales. The Million Dollar Round Table, a professional trade association for financial advisors, also jumped on board and agreed to publish the book if she could guarantee the sale of those 4,000 books. Talk about pressure!
In 1999 I proudly watched as Carol achieved her goal. She had become the first female in the history of New York Life to lead the company in sales, which also made her the first female to lead any major life insurance company in sales. To everyone’s surprise except hers, she was number one. Carol had accomplished exactly what she said she would.
The next six weeks were a whirlwind as, together along with my Dad, we attended all the meetings for the top 4,000 agents and Carol spoke to them about how they could use the power of their mind to improve their business. Each evening after they heard her speak, a copy of her book Have You Bought the Ticket?1 was delivered to their room.
At one of the meetings in Boca Raton, Florida, a company officer brought a relative who had recently lost her husband. She was a sweet middle-aged lady who was trying hard to be upbeat, but it was obvious that she was struggling with the pain of her recent loss. Following Carol’s talk she came up to us and said, “After listening to you, I know I will be alright, I can do it.” Somehow the ideas Carol presented to the agents about setting goals applied to this sweet lady’s situation as well. The message touched her heart and gave her new hope.
It was then that I realized that Carol had discovered concepts that are not just for sales and career goals, but are universal laws that apply to everyone and every situation. Whether it’s paying off debt, reaching career goals, or simply overcoming a trial in life, the concepts she’s learned have proven to work in her life and mine. I also continue to hear stories of transformation from others in many walks of life about the power of Carol’s teachings.
My hope for this book is that it can teach you what you need to do to reach your highest goals and ultimately live your wildest dreams. Carol’s goal was to lead her company in sales, but I know her ultimate dream was to teach others about the power of the mind. In achieving her goal, she has been able to live her dream.
Cami Newsome
Carol’s daughter and business partner
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CHAPTER 1:
The Power of the Mind
Man’s mind, once stretched by a new idea, never regains its
original dimensions.
—Oliver Wendell Holmes
We have all noticed people who seem to be able to achieve great things with very little effort. They seem to have it all and we find ourselves wanting the same talents, fame, or fortune that has made them so successful. We usually conclude, however, that their abilities are superior to ours and that we are incapable of achieving the same things.
When God made the oyster, He guaranteed his absolute economic and social security. He built the oyster a house, his shell, to shelter and protect him from his enemies. When hungry, the oyster simply opens his shell, and food rushes in for him. He has freedom from want.
But when God made the eagle He declared: “The blue sky is the limit, build your own house!” So the eagle built on the highest mountain. Storms threaten him every day. For food, he flies through miles of rain and snow and wind. But think of it, the eagle, not the oyster, is the emblem of America.
—Author Unknown
God granted the eagle far more potential than the oyster, but God granted us unlimited potential.
Our minds are amazingly powerful; they are designed, built and ready for our use and benefit. Unfortunately, many of us either don’t recognize our potential or we don’t know how to take advantage of it. The key is learning how to harness the power that is already present in your mind. It’s all there in one central location and when you learn to use your mind to its full potential, you release your unlimited potential.
Many internal obstacles prevent us from achieving all of our hearts’ desires: a poor self-image, an inability to recognize our genius, our failure to tap into our unconscious mind, our inclination to be negative, and our fear of failure. What we have to realize is that there are also ways of thinking and acting, in accordance with the laws of success, that allow us to overcome these obstacles and achieve what we previously thought impossible. We can reprogram our self-image, discover our individual genius, and use the power of our mind, thus putting us in a position to realize our dreams.
My husband and I experienced failure and hardship firsthand when our business went under many years ago. To help us recover and get out of debt, I started a new career as a life insurance agent. To help me succeed at this job, I spent many hours reading numerous authors on the secret to success. Eventually, I came to understand the universal laws of success. I went on to apply them to my career and, as a result, became the first female to ever lead a major life insurance company in sales. In this book, I wish to share with you all that I have learned.
The fact is that we are all created equal. It’s true that we each have different types of unlimited potential, talents and abilities, but we are all equipped with everything that we need to succeed. It doesn’t matter what your dream is. We all have unlimited access to the resources and functions that bring success. You are the only thing standing between where you are now and what you want to achieve in the future.
I’m excited to take you on a journey of discovery, one where you learn how your mind works, your self-imposed limitations, how to correct them, and ultimately how to unleash your unlimited potential!
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CHAPTER 2:
Reprogramming Your Self-Image
There is a treasure deep within everyone; the adventure is to
discover it.
—From the movie
THE LEGEND OF JOHNNY
LINGO
Almost every town in America hosts a circus each year, to the delight of both children and adults. If you’ve ever witnessed them setting up back when they used elephants for the task, it was amazing to observe the elephants move around the heavy pieces of equipment as they erected the large tents for the show. Once the work was done, the trainers would take the elephants to their places behind the tents, tie a rope around one of their legs, and attach the rope to a small stake in the ground. This was done to ensure that the elephants wouldn’t wander away.
These massive animals were quite capable of removing a small stake from the ground, so why didn’t they pull themselves free?
The reason was, when they were young, the rope tied to their leg was attached to a much larger stake driven deep into the ground. Try as they might, they would not have been able to pull it out. Eventually, they gave up trying. Once we understand this early training, we understand why elephants passively accept their fate.
Just like elephants, we have been programmed to believe that we are capable of doing certain things and incapable of others. What you think you can or cannot do is not necessarily reality. As humans, our limitations are set by our self-image2. It’s not who we are that holds us back; it’s how our minds have constructed our self-image that determines our parameters.
Your self-image is your mind’s conception of the kind of person you are and what you are capable of achieving. You have created this picture from all your past experiences, including your failures and successes, as well as the way others react to you, especially in early childhood. Your conscious mind is not aware of the picture you have produced, but it is there, down to the last detail, and it controls your life.
Your self-image is the determining factor that dictates your behavior and lifestyle. It determines the type of career you choose, how you handle money, the amount of success you have, how you treat your body, and the quality of your relationships. If a person wants a healthy body, for example, but sees themselves as overweight, they will continue to struggle with their weight. If they desire a fulfilling and successful career but can’t imagine anything other than frustration and poverty, they will never achieve the results they want.
Just because you believe your blueprint to be an accurate picture of who you are does not make it true. Have you ever gone to the fun house and looked at yourself in the distorted mirrors?
Some make you look tall and thin, while others cause you to appear short and fat. It’s an entertaining thing to do, but you walk away knowing that what you saw in the mirrors is not a true reflection of your real appearance. Your mind often does the same thing by creating a distorted image of you that is completely wrong. If you have behavior that is self-defeating, you have a distorted self-image. Only when your self-image is in alignment with your true self do you end up with behavior that allows you to reach your full potential.
Our mind began forming our self-image while we were still in the womb. The emotions experienced by an expectant mother, be they happy, peaceful, anxious, or fearful, are also felt by the fetus. A great deal of our original programming occurs by the age of five, and much of it is complete by the time a child reaches twelve. Part of this programming comes from parents and other significant people in the child’s life, such as relatives, friends, and teachers. The remaining part is a result of how the youngster was treated by society and what they were told. If at an early age a child was continually told that they were stupid, it became part of their programming. If they were told they were loved, they usually see themselves as being lovable.
A good example of how easily your self-image is molded by what you are told is provided by a school teacher named Jane Elliott. Back in 1968 she did an experiment with her students designed to help them understand what it felt like to experience discrimination.
She told them that researchers had discovered that people with blue eyes were brighter and more likely to succeed in life, and that people with brown eyes were inferior and tended to be stupid, lazy, and untrustworthy. She put arm bands on the students to distinguish which ones were superior and which ones were inferior. Students who had previously been best friends became enemies. The superior students started being cruel and disrespectful to their inferior classmates. The brown-eyed students became cowardly, allowing the blue-eyed students to treat them badly. Their school work also began to decline rapidly, as they struggled to complete even simple assignments.
After the experiment continued for a few days, the teacher made the announcement that there had been a mistake. It was actually the brown-eyed students who were superior and the blue-eyed students who were inferior. The results quickly reversed. The test scores of the brown-eyed students became far superior to the scores of the blue-eyed students. The new superior group began treating the new inferior group in the same cruel manner that they had been treated.
There was a lot of controversy over this experiment and it would never be allowed in the schools today. But it proved how easily the self-image can be programmed and reprogrammed, and how quickly it can happen when the mind believes what it is being told. It also proves that mistakes can happen if someone gives you inaccurate information about your potential.
The problem with our early programming is that we were too young to have any input on its accuracy. Our original programming will always be with us; it’s not like a bad computer program that can be thrown away and replaced with a better one. The stronger the emotion with which we acquired our programming, the stronger the hold it will have on us. However, as we mature in judgment, it becomes our responsibility to determine the accuracy of the information we receive. We also have the ability, through our thoughts and choices, to create a new self-image that is capable of overriding the original one. In other words, we have the power to reprogram our self-image.
This power is illustrated in a 1913 novel by Harry Leon Wilson titled Bunker Bean. It is an intriguing story about how an insecure, timid man was tricked into believing in himself. Bunker Bean’s mother was an extremely judgmental woman, constantly criticizing everything he did and turning her son into a nervous, timid creature. When Bunker was just a child, his mother died, and his ineffectual father remarried. Bunker went to stay with his relatives in the big city where, even during his time at college, he continued to live timidly through his terrors. He felt he was inferior to others and he was afraid of everything, including himself. He was even afraid of policemen “whom he never passed without a tremor.”
Bunker’s first employer was an old man who was writing a book on reincarnation. As they worked, Bunker learned of ‘karmic cycles” and “the astral plane.” He began to wonder if he too had lived before; if his present state of being “was a reward or a penance.” Sometime later, during a particularly low ebb in his affairs, Bunker saw a newspaper ad showcasing Countess Casanova—Clairvoyant—Answers the Unasked Question. And so Bunker visited the countess and wrote upon her magic slate: “Who was I in my last incarnation.” A misspelled answer soon appeared: “The last time you was Napolon Bonopart.”
Bunker Bean was shocked to learn that people had once been in awe of him. How could Napoleon have been so courageous, while Bunker Bean was so timid and fearful? He bought biographies to read and a print of the crowning of the Emperor. He was determined to regain all of the qualities he once possessed. He spent hours dreaming about past victories and tried to incorporate the thinking of a great man into his own life. His confidence improved and he began to look people in the eye. It didn’t matter that associates still thought of him as the old Bunker Bean, for he now knew the truth about himself. But the more he read of Napoleon’s character and career, the more he came to dislike the rough “Corsican upstart.”
He returned to Countess Casanova, wanting to know about the earlier, more benevolent bodies he’d inhabited. The countess and her companion, Professor Balthasar, told him that he’d been an Egyptian ruler: the tall, handsome, wise and beloved King Ram-tah. That same day, Bunker finally received the $10,000 inheritance that had been held in trust since his mother’s death. He immediately gave half of it to Balthasar so that he could search out and eventually purchase King Ram-tah’s mummy.
The new-found confidence saw Bunker “expand his chest, draw in his waist and stand erect.” He began to speak up for himself, to become witty and at times masterful, to make new friends and even to court the boss’s daughter. And when a business cabal tried to buy his company shares for well below their projected value, he bested them by buying yet more of those shares, netting himself $400,000 on the deal.
Then one day he discovered the precious mummy Balthasar had purchased for him was a papier-mâché fake and all the wonderful things he had been told about his former lives were not true. He realized that he had never been a king or a spectacular leader, just Bunker Bean all along. “He had become once more insignificant. Forever now he must be afraid of policemen and all earthly powers.”
But when Bunker visited Paris and stood among the glories of Napoleon’s tomb, he also realized that upstarts were men who believed in themselves, and that he had become someone through such a belief. He had learned a great truth: that to believe is all that matters. “Be upstart enough and all things are yours.” He knew that Bunker Bean, the lowly, had “the power to magnetize, to charm, to affront the world and yet evoke monuments—if he could only believe it.”
I was lucky to have grown up in a loving family where I felt accepted and cherished. I was a bubbly, happy child, and my parents called me their “sunshine girl.” To this day you will seldom see me without a smile on my face. There was, however, one particular quirk in my original programming. I often heard my parents say, “Don’t get too big for your britches.” Continually hearing this and other negative comments about success created a natural fear of striving to succeed. My basic instinct became to sabotage anything that would lead to visible success.
When my daughter, Cami, first came to work as my administrative assistant she noticed my tendency to do this. I was like the person driving down the road with one foot on the gas pedal and the other on the brake. I would do everything right to succeed. Then, without knowing, I would sabotage my efforts, making my chances of success very difficult. After Cami brought this to my attention, I thought about what I was doing and realized that she was right. In order to help me get past this problem, she started hiding the reports and kept me busy focusing on my goals, so I didn’t have time to think about the results in terms of success. This strategy worked short term. For long-term success, however, I had to go back to my mind and reprogram my self-image.
I started by making a list of reasons why I shouldn’t succeed and a list of reasons why I should. I ended up with only three reasons not to succeed and thirty-one reasons to succeed. The answer became obvious to me: my reasons to be successful well outweighed any of the reasons why I shouldn’t. It was then that I realized it was time to reprogram my self-image and to stop viewing success as an enemy. I have made a lot of headway in reprogramming my mind toward success, despite occasional setbacks. When I notice my behavior slipping back to its old ways, I remind myself that it is okay to be the person I am capable of being and not the person I thought I should be.
So how do you go about re-programming? Although you may have had very little control over your original programming, you have complete control over the two areas that have the greatest impact on the ongoing direction of your self-image: your thoughts and your actions. These thoughts and actions, in turn, are determined by your habits. One study says that up to 90 percent of our everyday behavior is based on habit. So if you were to change your habits, your self-image will automatically change. And when you change your self-image, your habits will change to match. As soon as you begin a new habit, good or bad, you begin the process of changing your thoughts and actions, which will then reprogram your self-image.
Changing your thoughts and your actions begins when you decide to take responsibility for your choices. The result is that you end up with behavior that is congruent with who you really are. “Reprogramming Your Self-Image” is therefore a process of moving into alignment with your true self.
So if our habits determine our self-image, how do we change our habits to develop the self-image we want? Start by choosing only one habit to work on at a time. It takes energy and focus to begin the process of change.
For example, picture yourself learning how to juggle. There is a step-by-step process you go through. First you master throwing one ball in the air and catching it. Next you add a second ball until it becomes natural. You then add a third ball and practice until you are adept at handling all three balls at the same time. The key to juggling is only adding one ball at a time and practicing until it is no longer difficult. If you tried learning to juggle starting with four balls, you would probably get frustrated, give up, and never develop the skill.
It works the same way when it comes to changing habits. As humans, we are not designed to change more than one habit at a time. If you are trying to change too many habits at once, it becomes easy to get frustrated, give up, and never change. Think about New Year’s resolutions. They seldom work because people try to change too many habits at the same time. They start out with great resolve, making several resolutions and two weeks later they give up and wait until next year to do the same thing. The truly destructive element is that each time they do this they are adding negative programming to their self-image. They are teaching themselves to believe that they can’t be trusted to follow through on things they’ve started.
When you work on only one habit at a time, you are being as efficient as possible. Once it becomes a habit, it will no longer take the same amount of energy and focus to continue the desired behavior. Most experts say it takes twenty-one days to change a habit. My experiences have taught me that it can take more or less time depending on how willing a person is to accept it as part of their new self-image. I recommend that you make a list of habits that you want to acquire and then pick one to work on each month. If you find that after a month it has not become a habit yet, continue working on it during the next month.
The following are some examples of habits you could work on:
» Exercise regularly
» Get 7 to 8 hours of sleep each night
» Smile
» Be on time
» Make a budget and stick to it
» Schedule quality time each week for your family
» Change negative thoughts to positive thoughts
A good indicator that you have made a habit part of your self-image is when it becomes uncomfortable not to do it. Reversing the new habit would take more energy than just doing it. It’s at this point that you can switch your focus and start working on a new habit, just like a juggler adds another ball.
When you make positive changes in your habits, it creates a paradigm shift in your mind. This shift doesn’t come from a desire to see yourself differently; it comes as you become acquainted with the real you.
As mentioned earlier, up to 90 percent of everything you do during the day is done from habit, so you can almost picture your mind as a computer program. It can only do whatever you have programmed it to do, and it can only produce information based on your input. If you make a mistake inputting data, the computer will give back inaccurate information. But if you input the right data, the results will be correct.
Just like a programmer works to correctly and accurately program a computer, you are the programmer for your self-image. This means that you are the only one with the power to program your mind. Others may influence your decisions, but they have no power to input the data.
I was once told a story about a boy named Monty who was the son of an itinerant horse-trainer. When Monty was a senior in high school, his teacher gave the class the assignment to write about what they each wanted to do when they grew up. Monty wrote that he wanted to own a ranch and train horses, and he drew a detailed diagram of the property, the large ranch-house and the out-buildings. His teacher gave him an F and explained that the grade reflected that he deemed Monty’s dream unrealistic. No boy without money or resources would ever be able to buy a ranch, purchase breeding stock, and pay the necessary stud fees. When he offered Monty the chance of rewriting his paper for a higher grade, Monty told him, “You keep the F and I’ll keep my dream.” Today Monty Roberts owns a 154-acre horse-training facility in the Santa Ynez Valley, in California.
Monty didn’t let the negative message from his teacher have an adverse impact on his self-image. He ignored the message and stayed true to himself. He was in control of what was being programmed.
There are many habits that can have an impact when it comes to reprogramming our self-image. Some examples include choosing to eat better or get into shape, becoming debt free or sticking to a budget, working on relationships with others, or becoming a more valuable employee. Along with developing life-changing habits there are four activities that will directly influence your self-image.
1. Write a description of your desired self-image and read it daily.
A man is what he thinks about all day long.
—Ralph Waldo
Emerson
First of all, you need a blueprint of who you want to be. I have found that one of the most effective ways to do this is to sit down and write out your desired self-image. You could write a detailed paragraph, make a list, include pictures—it doesn’t matter what the format, as long as it helps you to imagine the person you want to be. Reading your description daily will help program your new self-image into your mind.
Another useful tool in changing how we see ourselves is self-hypnosis, which can also be referred to as meditation. During the hypnotic stage we tap into the teachable part of our brain where our self-image was originally formed. Once we are in this relaxed state, we have far more power over programming our mind.
The following are the six steps that you can follow for self-hypnosis:
1. Sit in a comfortable, quiet place. Find a location where you are not easily disturbed or distracted.
2. Take a deep breath, as deep as you can, and very slowly exhale. Repeat the deep breath and slowly exhale three times. With each breath in, feel your chest and belly rise, and imagine breathing in peace and calmness. With each breath out, feel your chest and belly relax, and blow out all the tension or anything else getting in the way of relaxing. By this time you’ll notice a calm come over you.
3. Begin relaxing by tightly squeezing the muscles in your body and letting them relax. Start with your feet, move to the calves in your legs, and continue up the rest of your body.
4. After your whole body feels relaxed, imagine yourself at the top of an escalator. Step on the escalator and ride down, slowly counting backwards from twenty. By the time you reach the bottom, you should be very relaxed.
5. Enjoy the tranquility for several moments. While you are in this hypnotic state, begin to experience yourself as you want to be—remember, it’s not who you currently are, but who you want to be. Try visualizing an upcoming event and see it vividly in your mind. See yourself handle the situation exactly the way you want. You can also picture something you want to accomplish and imagine your desired outcome in all its detail.
6. Now go back on the escalator and ride up. Count to ten. When you get to ten, open your eyes, feel relaxed, refreshed, and wide awake.
Develop the habit of spending at least 20 minutes a day on this refueling, life-changing exercise. You’ll be amazed at the results.
2. Always say things to yourself about yourself that you want to be true.
You probably don’t realize it, but every time you say something to yourself about yourself, you are programming your self-image. It’s what you say to yourself, not what others say to you, that programs your mind.
Always ask yourself if what you are saying is really what you want as part of your programming. Something as simple as saying that you have a poor memory will cause you to have a less effective memory. Many people complain that they are unlucky.
When they do that, they are programming their self-image to make sure they are unlucky. If you want to be lucky, tell yourself that you are lucky. If you want to be happy, tell yourself that you are happy and, if you want to be rich, tell yourself that you are rich. When you continue to say these things, your mind eventually believes you and acts accordingly.
Your mind is never blank. You spend a great deal of time each day talking to yourself and most of these conversations are about you. Start focusing on self-talk that improves your self-image. As you do this you will notice that positive feelings follow. Feelings match thoughts. And since you are in control of your thoughts, you are in control of your feelings. Whenever you feel bad, it is an indication you are thinking negative thoughts. When you make a habit of surrounding yourself with a positive environment, it makes it easier to have positive feelings.
We all have times when we allow ourselves to have negative thoughts. Have a game plan for shifting your thoughts, such as listening to uplifting music, going for a walk, or talking to a good friend. Try spending 30 days saying only things to yourself about yourself that you want to be true. You will find that you have a more positive self-image.
3. Attach a positive meaning to each event that occurs to you.
Along with telling ourselves things that damage us, we can also make mistakes in how we attach meaning to the events in our lives. Each time something happens, we go to our mental database, which acts like a filing cabinet in our mind, storing all our memories and knowledge. It searches through all the files to find a past experience that is similar to what just happened. Based on its findings, the mind attaches a meaning to the incident and assumes that it is correct. This system is often flawed and we sometimes attach a meaning that is completely inaccurate. Most disagreements are caused by people attaching an inaccurate meaning to an event.
For example, if you are shopping in the grocery store and see a friend who fails to say “Hi” or wave hello, your first impulse is to think that they are being rude or they are mad at you. This assumption can lead to hurt feelings and possibly holding a grudge when maybe the truth is that they were simply in a hurry and didn’t see you.
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The event + your response = the outcome
(The formula is E + R = O)
You can’t change the event, but you can change your response and that will change the outcome.
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This formula can also be applied to situations that are beyond your ability to control. In 1998 Michael J. Fox stunned the world by announcing that he had been diagnosed with Parkinson’s disease, a degenerative neurological condition. In his book Lucky Man3 he says: “Before Parkinson’s, when so much of my identity was tied up in my acting career, the question that burned inside me was, ‘How long can I keep living like this?’” After the diagnosis he decided to choose a life that centered on the thing that was most important to him, his family. His quote on the back cover of the book says: “The ten years since my diagnosis have been the best ten years of my life, and I consider myself a lucky man.” For many people, being diagnosed with Parkinson’s would be a devastating blow to their self-image and yet Michael chose to remain positive.