by
FRANCIS ANFUSO | DAVID LOVELESS
Copyright 2010, Francis Anfuso, David Loveless
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The
Rock of Roseville
725 Vernon St., Roseville, CA
95678 U.S.A.
www.rockofroseville.com
www.rockspots.tv
Discovery
Church
4402 S. Orange Ave
Orlando, FL 32806
www.discoverychurch.org
Copyright
© 2010 Francis Anfuso, David Loveless
Cover design by Hans
Bennewitz
Unless otherwise indicated, all Scripture quotations are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2007 by the Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.
Dedicated to the complete healing and restoration of those who
have been tragically wounded by friendly fire within the Church
ACKNOWLEDGEMENT
Many marvelous representatives of Jesus have sacrificed and given of their time and talents to guide this book to completion.
First and foremost, our beautiful and godly wives were an invaluable help. Suzie aided Francis by brainstorming many aspects of this delicate topic, while Caron, a gifted author in her own right, assisted David in editing each of his chapters, helping David brainstorm chapter concepts and then exhaustively editing them. We would not be who we are today without decades of your wise counsel. You have our endless love and appreciation.
We are likewise indebted to our faithful assistants: Stephanie VanTassell and Robin Ragsdale. Each helped in numerous dimensions, which included: compiling the Church Wounds Survey and keeping us on schedule. The final editing of this book was in Stephanie’s capable hands. She guided the project to its completion. There would be no book without Stephanie.
Additionally, two ladies were once again extremely helpful in the editing phase: Kathy Kunde, a dear friend for many years, and Betty Price, a gifted proof-reader and researcher. Many thanks!
The cover and graphics were completed by Hans Bennewitz, on time and with many an extra mile. I love working with you Hans. You’re like a human sedative, always calming and reassuring.
Lastly, to the many hundreds of people who graciously filled out the online Church Wounds Survey. Thank you for opening your hearts to reveal the deep and painful hurts caused by others within the church. Our hope is that the value of your suffering will in some way impart life to others.
To each survey participant, we extend our prayers, love, and gratitude.
May the healing, Jesus accomplished, be imparted as you read this book.
Francis Anfuso and David Loveless
January 2010
CONTENTS
Section One—The Wounded Church
16 Misuse of Gifts of the Spirit (part A)
Misuse of Gifts of the Spirit (part B)
Section Five—Controlling Spirit
I have church wounds.
Some of my wounding came from growing up in a dead church. Watching a church service on TV that reminds me of my childhood, I have to turn it off before the remote becomes airborne.
My other church wounds are more pronounced and pervasive. They scarred me during two significant seasons since committing my life to Jesus in 1972.
The first season was as a young Christian. I was exposed to leadership insensitivities, hypocrisy, church politics, and abuse of authority. At one point, the pressure was so suffocating I nearly had a nervous breakdown. I would drive around town listening to worship music, just crying. Now, some 30 years later, God has significantly healed me from these events.
I traveled extensively throughout the body of Christ conducting seminars, conferences, and speaking in churches, when I accumulated my next volley of scarring. Though I had many wonderful times and met some incredibly godly and gracious people, by the time I finished my travels, I was significantly disheartened. The most grievous assault on my spirit came from witnessing firsthand the misrepresentation of Jesus and inappropriate behavior of Christian leaders. I never wanted to travel or minister in churches again unless I had complete confidence in the integrity of their leadership.
At times during my traveling ministry, I felt like I left in a get-away car, embarrassed that I supported a person or group that I could never, in good conscience, recommend. Often I would not return to those churches or ministries that were in some way misrepresenting God’s Kingdom. Other times, I tried to bring balance to the errors I saw. Yet, I found it very hard to treat a spiritual infection or deception in a weekend, or even a week. There are always reasons for lack of health, whether natural or spiritual, and these are usually due to imbedded patterns that cause chronic sickness.
When I planted a church and began to pastor in 1997, I discovered my tendency to avoid other churches. I was elated that I didn’t have to visit them anymore. This, of course, is not healthy. Over time I have seen the dysfunction of isolation. Therefore I am committed to being completely healed— no longer hiding.
My faith level has increased significantly over the last few years since I’ve been miraculously healed of a foundational dimension in my life—father wounds. I even wrote a book on the subject, Father Wounds: Reclaiming Your Childhood. After writing the book and preaching a series from its chapters, I found myself completely healed from a life-long heartache. My soul is now elated and so liberated I proudly display pictures of my father in my office.
But, such is not yet the case with church wounds.
I first heard about the “approach-avoidance” syndrome when I studied psychology in college. It went something like this: there are things that you need to do that you would rather not do because of the pain and inner battle they would produce. Candidly, this is how I feel about writing a book on the subject of church wounds. Part of me is as excited as I would be getting a root canal at the dentist. The other part of me knows that, although it’s going to be painful, in the end I will be healed.
Francis
Anfuso
The Rock of Roseville
Roseville, California
July
2009 (Written prior to the remaining Church Wounds chapters.)
The best times of my life have been in church. I found Jesus in a church and met my wife in one, too. At church I have shared fellowship so rich that even though it was two in the morning and our kids slept sprawled on the pews in pajamas, not one of us wanted to leave. I’ve felt moments when the glory of God hung so strong and pure on church leaders I ached to be just like them. A room full of bookshelves could not hold all the powerful, meaningful, beautiful experiences I’ve known in the Body of Christ. But there have been other times, dark times, when devastating events beat and robbed my trust blind, leaving me in a spiritual coma. The most shattering, gut-ripping blows have come at the hands of church people. Maybe yours have too.
I was 16 the night my view of the church was broadsided.
It was “prayer meeting” night, the time of the week in our church the truly committed were expected to attend. It started with a ‘potluck’ supper. No Top Chef here. Plates were piled with casseroles, coleslaw, and Kentucky Fried Chicken. Forever a famished, skinny kid, I loved it. This family-style feast was a valiant attempt to encourage the kind of kinship we read of in the second chapter of Acts. After dinner, kids retreated to classrooms while adults gathered in the sanctuary to sing songs and hear the third sermon of the week. In the few minutes actually devoted to prayer, we learned who was “shut in,” whose aunt was in the hospital, and for a few brief moments, we signaled silently if we had a prayer so personal it could only be known as “unspoken.”
But on the first Wednesday night of the month this all changed. Instead of preaching, the deacons called to order, complete with Sir Robert’s Rules, an official church business meeting. A review of the monthly budget was the inspirational highlight. With the zeal of Sherlock Holmes, the entire adult population of committed believers would inspect every dime the pastor and staff spent the previous month. Anyone was free to inquire about a questionable or confusing expenditure. Whenever a member felt certain monies should not have been spent, which happened most months, the pastor and staff were called to give an account.
I was fascinated our church required a democratic vote to buy carpet for the nursery, decide if pencils where better than pens in the pews, or if there was need of a copier. Lengthy discussions launched into what kind of copier. Some asked, just for their information, how many copies per minute did the pastor and secretary actually need? Jesus didn’t have a copier, and if He didn’t have one, why did the pastor need one?
But this particular Wednesday night, the prayer/business meeting plunged deep south. Some were vexed that the pastor had authorized roof repairs. Shingles needed to be replaced. There were ongoing leaks. Our state had a rainy season longer than major league baseball’s season. Since there was no one else to do it, the pastor found himself tending more to the buckets under leaks than to the needs of his flock.
I particularly remember one man’s scolding face. In fact, I can perfectly remember his name, what he did for a living, and his role in the church. I can recall so many details you would think it was just last night instead of 39 years ago.
This man shot up, agitated, accusing the pastor of not doing his job–meaning bucket duty–and mishandling funds by authorizing the repair without a vote. His attack got personal and then cursing blasted from the man’s mouth, like rapid machine gun fire aimed for the pastor, others shook their heads and agreed.
The look on my pastor’s face is branded in my brain. It was like he had been shot. I’ll also never forget it because my pastor was also my dad.
I bolted the building, livid and devastated. I ran all the way home. Nothing would persuade me to see those people again. I sobbed in my room, church-wrecked.
That night I decided church was not for me. Forget about church being a safe place to hear a dangerous message. Christians, I found out, were highly flammable, dangerous people. If this was a Christian life, count me out.
Now, nearly forty years later, guess where I am and what I do. I’m a pastor. Sometimes I still shake my head. My day job is pastoring Discovery Church in Orlando, Florida. I also pastor other pastors in places like California and Cape Town, South Africa. It’s not only what I do, but what I love. I wouldn’t trade anything for where I get to work and the people I’m called to serve. So what happened? How did I get from wounded church hater to zealous church champion?
From its launch, Christ knew His church would be far from perfect. He knew it would be populated with millions and millions of hyper-flawed humans like you and me. And He made numerous provisions for all her blunders, blemishes, and basket cases. Not only did He leave us promises and principles to meet the challenge of Christian community, He continues to supply personalized prescriptions for every kind of offense.
I know this is true. Since my first mortal wounding 39 years ago I’ve been hit countless times by spiritual shrapnel of every stripe and variety. But through it all, I’ve learned some practices that make all the difference. God has redeemed the pain. By tapping into His healing clinic, staffed by the power of the Holy Spirit who is on-call 24/7, I can actually love and lead the church that wounded my dad and me.
If you’ve been injured “in the name of Jesus,” then join us on a journey of recovery. We not only want to identify with your church wounds, but show you how Christ has healed our own brokenness as well as countless others.
David
Loveless
Discovery Church
Orlando, Florida
July 2009
(Written prior to the remaining Church Wounds chapters.)
Our long trek up, what we would consider, the Mt. Everest of church issues began with an online Church Wounds Survey. With well over 1,000 participants, our sampling was primarily drawn from the authors’ two churches: The Rock of Roseville in Roseville, California and Discovery Church in Orlando, Florida.
Our results found that:
• 86% said they had church wounds.
• 70% said they have been significantly healed.
• 96% said they were willing to completely forgive anyone who hurt them in the past within the church.
• 63% said they had considered not going to church again because of their experience.
Additionally, 65 percent of those who took the survey believed church wounds to be prevalent or very prevalent among their friends and family. We are persuaded our findings are not an anomaly, but rather an accurate snapshot of a systemic dilemma ensnaring much of the Church in the Western world.
Frankly, because of scandalous exposures within both the Catholic and Protestant churches, church wounds are no longer a “dirty little secret” hidden in a closet. The visceral anger, once dormant, has now immerged with passion that has spread across the landscape.
RULES OF ENGAGEMENT
As Jesus came to give us life, and that abundantly (John 10:10), our purpose in writing this book is to see God bring forth life from death. Therefore, here are seven Rules of Engagement that we committed to follow before one word was written.
1. We believe that much of the culture’s hostility toward Christianity is caused by misrepresentations of the heart of God. (Matthew 18:7)
2. We understand that some wounds come from our own insecurities, and therefore make us more susceptible to certain wounding. (Jeremiah 17:9, Ephesians 4:32)
3. We sincerely respect each church leader’s God-given spiritual anointing and authority, and have no desire to either make anyone look bad or demean offices within the Church. (1Chronicles 16:22, Romans 13:7)
4. We are persuaded that there is redemptive value in every wound or negative situation any of us will ever experience in life. What the enemy meant for evil God can redeem for the good. (Romans 8:28)
5. We realize that each of us could have fallen prey to many of the pitfalls we have experienced due to the mistakes and improprieties of others. (John 8:7)
6. We will never use the actual names of people, churches, or ministries. We do not want to embarrass anyone. (Proverbs 10:12, 1Peter 4:8)
7. Our purpose is not to pile on and play the “blame game.” We earnestly desire every leader to be equipped to minister life to God’s people and every wounded soul to be completely healed in order to move forward in their spiritual life. (Ephesians 4:11–17)
We have church wounds!
God will heal us!
Let’s take the healing journey together.
Section One
CHAPTER ONE: Francis Anfuso
Jesus said, “But if anyone causes one of these little ones who trusts in Me to lose faith, it would be better for that person to be thrown into the sea with a large millstone tied around the neck.” (Matthew 18:6)
Catastrophic abuses have been perpetrated in the name of Jesus Christ. Mention the Crusades, the Inquisition, and the Ku Klux Klan to any pastor and see him cringe. It seems trite to call these low points in church history. But whether done by genuine Christ-followers or not, they distorted truth and love. While these violations were eventually stopped by true Christians, the damage done in the name of Christ was far-reaching. Church wounds (more accurately, Church Crimes) have affected countries, races, families, and individuals.
Church wounds occur in two dimensions: agendas and relationships within the Church. First, we will briefly discuss agendas.
Much has been written about the abusive events that occurred in the name of the Judeo-Christian God. Still other atrocities were birthed in the fertile imagination of evil and attributed to Christians. Such fabrications are many and varied. Allegedly, Christians were in some way responsible for the Holocaust, the Jonestown mass suicide, the bombing of the Federal Building in Oklahoma City, and the Atlanta abortion clinic bombing. Asserting that followers of Jesus perpetrated any of these unthinkable acts is, in fact, an absurdity. Yet, proponents of this twisted reasoning claim Adolph Hitler, Jim Jones, Timothy McVeigh, and Eric Rudolph were all Christians. [1]
The actions of each of these self-deluded individuals prove that they had no relationship to the Christian faith whatsoever. True followers of Jesus will believe and do what He said, “Love your enemies! Do good to them! Then your reward from Heaven will be very great, and you will truly be acting as children of the Most High, for He is kind to the unthankful and to those who are wicked.” (Luke 6:35) It is impossible to blatantly kill innocent people while claiming to be a follower of Jesus. Still, misrepresentations have caused rifts between people and the name of Jesus.
DIRTY LAUNDRY
While reconciliation must be made between the Church as a whole and entire generations who were wounded by the behavior of Christians, restoration must also take place within individuals.
The second dimension of church wounds, and the primary focus of this book, is relational. These are breaches in relationship, whether person-toperson or person-to-God, initiated by someone claiming to be a Christian. Some offenders seemed to have had a substantial relationship with Jesus, but have intentionally used or hurt people. However, the most common group of Christians who damaged others did so inadvertently.
They meant well, but messed up.
While professing to be followers of Jesus, they made errors in judgment, in word, or in deed, leaving a trail of pain that genuinely stumbled others.
Tragically, the pain did not stay in the pews. Research from the Barna Group, expounded on in the book unChristian, shows that young people, 16 to 29 years old who are presently outside of the church have lost much of their respect for the Christian faith. Two out of every five young outsiders (38 percent) claim to have a “bad impression of present-day Christianity.” In addition, one-third of young outsiders said that Christianity represents a negative image with which they would not want to be associated. [2]
I don’t know which surprised me more when reviewing the Barna Survey—learning that 87 percent of outsiders consider Christians judgmental or finding out 52 percent of churchgoers felt the same way. Our own Church Wounds Survey of over 1,000 people found that 42 percent of those surveyed were themselves hurt by the judgmentalism of other Christians.
Three out of every ten young outsiders said they have undergone negative experiences in churches and with Christians. Similarly, 85 percent of outsiders believe Christians are hypocritical, saying one thing and doing another, while 47 percent of those within the church felt the same way. [3]
Obviously, there is a problem. Perception has become, in some way, reality.
How many acute misrepresentations does it take to turn off a culture? It’s been said, “no one cares how much we know, until they first know how much we care.” Or, as the Bible so clearly articulates it, “While knowledge may make us feel important, it is love that really builds up the church.” (1Corinthians 8:1b) It seems, in some cases, Christians resisting the entreating appeals of God’s Spirit to love those around them have set this negative impression in motion.
Even though the scriptures teach and church history affirms, the true gospel of Jesus Christ is offensive to the natural mind (1Corinthians 2:14), people are not just offended by how we treat them. These are self-inflicted wounds, by Christians, on Christians.
Since it breaks God’s heart, it should break ours.
As mentioned in the Introduction, our intention in writing this book is not to question the sincerity of followers of Jesus Christ, nor to undermine their gifts and callings, but rather to examine errors of judgment or conscious misdeeds. Though we genuinely seek understanding, healing, and restoration for all parties involved, we cannot sweep indiscretions under the rug. Nor can we wink at areas of church life and leadership that, frankly, grieve the heart of God and need to change.
FIRST WOUNDING
With some imaginative license, we can trace the history of church wounds back to the Garden of Eden. The story line would go something like this:
A leader in spiritual authority (God) is accused by one of His leaders (the serpent) of not being fully forthright with members of His congregation (Adam and Eve). Though the accusation is false, it is believed and a church split ensues. To limit the spread of the rebellion, the senior pastor insists the two church members in question leave. His heart is broken. He has done nothing to overtly hurt them and everything possible to help them, yet they leave wounded and hurting. In time, the seed of deception within the expelled family spreads to their children: one son kills another (Cain kills Abel).
Though this particular scenario finds the members of the congregation at fault, as we have acknowledged, this is not always the case. Church leaders are often to blame.
Beyond the Christian Church, wounding takes place in all relationships, but some of those that are most hurtful occur within the faith-based community. Wounding within the Church is often more devastating for many reasons. Here are just a few.
DEEPER VULNERABILITY
Those who represent God are often given emotional access to the deepest part of a person’s being: our spirit. When a breach or misrepresentation occurs at this level, people feel uncovered and unprotected. This type of wounding affects not just our perception of the individuals involved, but can skew our relationship with God Himself. We are His human representatives or, as the Bible says, “We are Christ’s ambassadors, and God is using us to speak to you.” (2Corinthians 5:20) Given such a serious responsibility, a breach can have lasting consequences.
BROKEN TRUST
The deeper the relationship, the greater potential for hurt. All healthy relationships are in some way dependent upon trust. Broken trust, due to dishonesty or impropriety, assaults the very core of our being. When leaders and believers claim to represent a God of love, church wounds can often be most traumatic.
EXPECTING PERFECTION
When promised a genuine representation of God’s heart by a follower of Jesus, and significantly less is delivered, a person feels not just short changed, but robbed. A violation has taken place. As one person in our Church Wounds Survey tragically lamented, “Every one of my family members is not attending church or does not have a relationship with God because of misrepresentations of God and the church.” It breaks my heart to write it, but this was not a unique sentence; it was repeated over and over again by hundreds of respondents.
When Jesus said, in Matthew 18:6a (NASB), “whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in Me to stumble,” the original language implies, “to put an impediment in the way, upon which another may trip and fall; to cause a person to begin to distrust and desert one whom he ought to trust and obey.”
For such a brazen act of undermining someone else’s faith, Jesus said, “it would be better for him to have a heavy millstone hung around his neck, and to be drowned in the depth of the sea.” (Matthew 18:6b, NASB) Though I wish I could lessen the blow these words inflict upon the reader, I yield to the reality that Jesus doesn’t need me to rationalize the intent of His words.
May God give us ears to hear the thoughts and intents of His heart.
Likewise, may we be willing to accept any responsibility that God’s Spirit reveals to us as we read on.
We will certainly be glad we did.
CHAPTER TWO: Francis Anfuso
“When that which is perfect has come, then that which is in part will be done away.” (1Corinthians 13:10, NKJV)
“The only problem with finding the perfect church,” someone once said, “is that our attending it would immediately ruin it.”
Imperfection is a universal scourge—a birthmark unrestricted by age, nationality, economic status, or ethnicity. We all resist drowning in its incessant tug, but to no avail. Without God’s intercession, we are incurable. But by His merciful kindness we can be redeemed.
My ability to process imperfection, in myself first and then in others, may very well determine my long-term spiritual health. Presenting myself as perfect has, ironically, caused those watching my life to lose respect for me. But admitting my mistakes and acknowledging when I have wounded others, confirms the obvious, but releases the empowering and healing grace of God.
I shudder when considering that everyone claiming to have a personal relationship with Jesus has made a blood-covenant to properly represent Him. The bar of authenticity is infinitely high. The Bible speaks of God in absolute terms, “He is the Rock; His work is perfect. Everything He does is just and fair. He is a faithful God who does no wrong; how just and upright He is!” (Deuteronomy 32:4) The essence of God is who we are called to be. Yet, living this highest of all callings often feels out of reach.
While “hostile outsiders” might have little compassion for Christians who fall short of this pristine picture of God, “healed insiders” tend to be more gracious. A willingness and capacity to forgive is perhaps the clearest indicator of a person’s spiritual health. It accurately assesses his understanding of the depth of his own spiritual predicament, while releasing those equally impaired. Truly mature leaders recognize their weak points, and ask forgiveness when they fail.
Some Church Wounds Survey respondents provided great insight. One woman wrote, “I’m far from perfect, but I hide in Jesus when I’m feeling hurt from insensitivity.” Another young lady added, “We are all flawed and imperfect. Hurt-filled people and a hurtful church is what sadly happens when you get a congregation of hurt people.”
Nevertheless, the challenge of Jesus still remains, “But you are to be perfect, even as your Father in Heaven is perfect.” (Matthew 5:48) In this case, the word perfect speaks of “reaching full maturity or completeness, lacking nothing related to our human integrity and virtue.” God calls us out of the doldrums of imperfection into the balmy breeze of completeness. This can only be achieved by faithfully owning our shortcomings along the way. A Church Wounds Survey respondent clearly articulated this principle, “I have learned that in a healthy body of believers, not only do we all know we’re not perfect, but we openly talk about our imperfections!”
I have often said, “I am a much better repenter than I am a Christian.” This speaks to the reality that my only chance of walking in the Christ-likeness I long for is consistently admitting when I am not speaking or acting like Him. Though I have never lacked for opportunity, I have at times lacked the insight and courage to obediently walk the talk.
Irrespective of my poor responses to those around me, I am still responsible to clean up the hurts I have inflicted by my words and actions. Contrary to conventional wisdom, admitting my mistakes, even publicly, rarely causes people to think less of me. Though acknowledging I was an axe murderer would hardly clear the air, I have found that if my life is ever believed, or even believable, it is because people trust me—and this necessitates deep levels of forthrightness.
THE ROAD TO PERFECTION
We each sense we will never be fully complete until we experience the pleasures of a great life. We have been created with an unquenchable longing for perfection. God alone can provide the love, joy, and peace we search for. Imperfect Earth pines for perfect Heaven.
This conviction did not begin with us. The quest for ideal life has been imprinted deep within our being because it is the heart of God. A perfect Creator designed a creation with the explicit purpose of becoming His flawless bride—an eternal partner, fashioned in His image and likeness.
In spite of all her many faults, God’s plans for His Church remain exceedingly clear, “Christ loved the church and gave Himself for her to sanctify her by cleansing her with the washing of the water by the word, so that He may present the church to Himself as glorious–not having a stain or wrinkle, or any such blemish, but holy and blameless.” (Ephesians 5:25b–27)
I can never embrace God’s perfect plan for me until I know my own imperfection. The divine exchange takes place when I trade my foolishness for His faithfulness, my exaggerated sense of worth or worthlessness for the true value only God can give me. We are tempted to “proclaim our own goodness” (Proverbs 20:6) especially if attached to righteous appearances. Then, whether right or wrong, we come to believe that respect is due, as we in some way walk the higher ground. It is the right of passage for true Pharisees, but it is the beginning of the end for anyone genuinely desiring to know and live for Jesus.
Paul the Apostle articulated this most clearly when He wrote, “Your attitude should be the same that Christ Jesus had. Though He was God, He did not demand and cling to His rights as God. He made Himself nothing; He took the humble position of a slave and appeared in human form. And in human form He obediently humbled Himself even further by dying a criminal’s death on a cross.” (Philippians 2:5–8)
If the Son of God had to humble Himself daily, how much more do we? If Jesus intentionally lived in obscurity, choosing the lowest road, so must you and I. “You know how full of love and kindness our Lord Jesus Christ was. Though He was very rich, yet for your sakes He became poor, so that by His poverty He could make you rich.” (2Corinthians 8:9)
TRACKING THE PAIN
Recently, a man I haven’t seen in years wrote me a very broken and revealing email, dripping with church wounds. It began with, “I have only met two pastors in my life that would say ‘I’m sorry’. One is dead, so you’re it.” Needless to say, being the surviving member of that tiny twosome added a greater sense of duty to my reply. I continue to offer comfort and counsel as he climbs out of a season of despair.
Some mature Christ-followers provided extraordinary insight in the Church Wounds Survey. They were able to see, in retrospect, the true value of their life experiences—even their most hurtful ones. One young lady wrote, “Growing up I realized that they [leaders] are human, and make mistakes. No one is perfect. Now, years later, I realize how God used that time [of being hurt in church] to allow my relationship with Him to grow—not to depend wholeheartedly on the faith of the people around me.” Though this comment does not provide a license for any hurt inflicted, it clearly confirms that God redeems not only us, but also all that we have been through. The psalmist affirmed this principle, “The Lord will perfect that which concerns me.” (Psalm 138:8, NKJV)
A young man’s commentary in the Church Wounds Survey began sadly but ended on a profound note. “Every Christian I know has been hurt at least once by someone in the church. News flash—the only perfect One was nailed to the Cross!” The only opportunity to experience true forgiveness is to allow Christ’s sacrifice on the Cross to become the permanent filter by which we process offenses.
Two mature women of God added their profound insights:
“Sadly, church wounds will always be among us because we are all sinful man. We all come in with expectations, thinking these people must float in the bathtub! Then reality hits and we are let down. It can be a small issue or a large one. But we as humans are not, and never will be, perfect. That is why we must always keep our eyes on Jesus as He will never fail us or forsake us.”
“My relationship with God is not dependent on how I am treated by any church. I realize churches are made up of imperfect people, just like me. I am sure I have hurt people unknowingly through the years. I do think that some of the wounds I have received were unintentionally made by people who do not have a healthy view of God. I pray for those who have wounded others, that they will be touched by God and not continue relating in a way that brings about wounding.”