Barn Conversion

T.H.Sandal

Published by T.H. Sandal at Smashwords

Cover Photo: The Room (detail) by Jesse Therrien

Copyright 2012 T.H. Sandal

Smashwords Edition, License Notes

This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to Smashwords.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

Barn Conversion

You may remember my trip to Exmoor. You don't? Well it's there to read about, but I'll recap quickly. A week long writing retreat in an Exmoor farm complex got interrupted by my encounter with a posh blonde who was looking after the place. I didn't do a lot of writing and she didn't do much cleaning – if that was her intention. Instead we fucked ourselves silly.

Well, this same blonde got in touch with me some three months after that Exmoor trip. It appeared that she'd got my address from her Aunt's books and, just on the off chance you know, wondered if I'd like to meet up again. She left an e-mail address and I got back to her – about ten minutes after I read her letter. I said that I'd be happy to see her and suggested a weekend away. She agreed and, thanks to the internet, we worked out a location – a converted barn in Wales – and a date two weeks hence.

Needless to say I was looking forward to this immensely, but thinking back on our time together got me wondering. It's fair to say that this was some woman, one with an adventurous and positively dirty outlook who hadn't blanched – not much anyway – when I'd suggested she try something. It had occurred to me at the time that just me on my own wasn't sufficient to satisfy her. From that thought, the solution was pretty obvious.

I had a friend – still do as it happens – one from my Rugby days. Like me he's down to earth and is proud of it. I wouldn't say he resents the class above, but he certainly doesn't respect it. He works as a freelance builder, is used to the site banter and is renowned for his collection of tattoos. He's of mixed race and has inherited certain genetic traits from his West Indian father. He's well-built for instance, still playing rugby at thirty-two and his nick-name in the team is 'The Horse'.

Which should be enough for the more discerning reader.

The arrangement was that we'd meet up at the barn on the Friday evening. Since I'd booked the place I said that I'd pick up the keys and get settled in and that she'd arrive a touch later – around seven we said. Conscious of her driving, my friend and I decided to get there a good couple of hours before so, naturally enough, we got an early train, picked up a taxi at Brecon around 4pm and were in the cottage at five.

Have you seen – well you've got a choice here, because lonely cottage horror is in vogue at the moment. The essential plot is the same: cute couple go to stay at a secluded cottage. Just before they get there, they stop in at a garage (or cafe or other out of the way establishment) and are warned off. Obviously they ignore the warning, get to the cottage expecting a hot weekend and instead have to fight for their lives.

The best ones end up with them both dying or at least with that expectation. Sometimes the man they first met in the cafe turns up to save them, other times he turns up when they think they've escaped only to take them back to a certain death or at the very least a life in servitude to various horrific entities.

Now don't get too concerned, because that wasn't the intention here, and, not to give to much away, it wasn't the outcome. However, the concept we're after is one called jeopardy. The lead character is in a dire situation and this provokes sympathy with the audience and a certain amount of intrigue. How will they manage to survive? How will they die? And so on.