Case #357597
Published by Peter W. Davidson
Smashwords Edition
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Copyright 2012 Peter W. Davidson
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Publisher note: This transcript was discovered by [anon] after clean-up operations began at the Westfield Psychiatric Hospital on 1st October 2009. At this time we have sufficient reason to believe its contents to be accurate, and true. No other documentation of any kind was recovered from Westfield. Most of the following pages are the original copies – some sections were fragile and worn and so had to be re-typed to our best ability.
[Case
Report #357597]
Transcripts of events & multiple interviews
concerning J.W.Gray
Notes by Dr. Henry Renholm, Ph.D
Dr. H.R. Case Log - First entry, 24 August 2009
Jonathan Whitehall Gray has been under my observation here at [censored] for several months now. So far he has displayed no outward signs of communication or interaction with the world or any of his fellow inmates at the institution. It is my belief that the events of the few months preceding his incarceration here have left his mind fractured and severely impaired.
Publisher note: [censored] would likely have been the Westfield Hospital name, blotted out to protect the establishment and those working there.
Details of the events of June-July 2009 which consequently saw Mr Gray placed here for treatment by the D[illegible]A are unclear. I still hold a small hope that he will regain some semblance of consciousness and that we may talk about those events together. An understanding of his perspective on things would greatly aid in my attempt to rehabilitate him. For now, we simply make him comfortable and wait for him to, as it were, come back to us.
Publisher note: D[illegible]A could be the DEFRA (Department for Environment, Food and Rural Affairs) though why, and indeed if, they were involved with Mr Gray’s events is unclear, and unprovable.
01 September 2009
This morning, a guard here monitoring the CCTV observed Mr Gray suddenly spring from his bed and begin removing his fingernails violently using his teeth. By the time an orderly reached the room with aid, it was discovered that he [Mr Gray] was writing on the walls using his bloodied fingers. The orderly stopped him and bandaged his fingers. No struggle was made and Mr Gray returned to his catatonic-like state. Mr Gray appeared to have written “Patient I A.” before being stopped. Given the context and narrow phrase used, I suspect that had he been left to continue he would have written “Patient I Am”. Two possible interpretations of this exist.
“Patient, I Am”, a suggestion of biding time or of waiting for something specific to occur.
“Patient I Am?”, a question about his incarceration or a statement that he understands he is under my care.
Publisher note: Taken as one word, “Patientia” is the Latin word for “Suffering”. I am surprised the Dr did not discover this and include it in this document.
03 September 2009
At around 2am last night, Mr Gray appears to have begun gnawing at his own arm. He was found this morning to have severe flesh wounds to his left forearm, apparently having chewed and swallowed several chunks of his own skin and muscle tissues. Strangely, the video footage from his room shows him pacing the room for several hours after consuming the flesh, staring at the camera intensely for the duration of his activity.
It is a shame that there is no sound recording capability of our CCTV system, as he appeared to be moving his mouth in speaking manner. Our efforts to lip-read his speech on playback of the video footage have been unsuccessful. We should look at installing audio recording equipment in his room for future occurrences.
For now, he has been treated medically and returned to his room. A rotation of guards and orderlies will be placed outside his door to observe him 24/7 from now on.
04 September 2009
It was observed this morning that Mr Gray seems to be showing signs of more outward behaviour whilst around other people. The orderlies have noticed him watching them [staring at them may be a better description actually] while they move around the lounge. He makes sharp, jerky head movements towards the direction of loud singular noises. On occasion he tries to speak, though little more than a rough vocal cough has been heard so far. I am hopeful that these are good signs that he is observing and trying to communicate with us. We will continue to aid him as we have, and see if this improvement continues.
06 September 2009
Further improvements in mobility and vocal activity increasing. Mr Gray has not been observed to slip into another comatose state for several days now. This is a good sign.
08 September 2009
Further improvements in mobility and vocal activity increasing. Mr Gray is now able to walk to and from the lounge area without physical assistance from an orderly. His ability to speak appears to have returned, though he does not say much at all. It is my hope that any day now I will be able to conduct a formal interview with him.
09 September 2009
Today there was an incident. While in the lounge area, Mr Gray attacked a fellow patient here, Mrs [censored]. The attack was, by all reports, violent and deliberate, without provocation. Mrs [censored] suffered several broken bones, and bite marks were found around the neck and forearms. She is currently in a stable condition in our medical wing. Mr Gray, having been restrained in his room, shows no signs of remorse or guilt for his actions. He spent several minutes trying to break out of his restraints, causing some minor injury to himself in the process. A short time after being left on his own in his room, he returned to his apparent catatonic-like state, yet seems to become roused when people enter the room or speak to him through the door.
I must admit to being worryingly dumbfounded at present. What is it that this man is going through? What causes a man to slip in and out of a coma like this? And how does it relate to his experiences prior to coming to us? I really need to speak to him, or rather, get him to speak to me.
Tomorrow.
Yes
Tomorrow, I will conduct an interview.
10 September 2009
This morning I spoke briefly with Mr Gray. According to the orderly at his door, Mr Gray had not moved nor spoken since the previous day. Upon my entering the room Mr Gray ‘awoke’ if such a term could be used to describe the event.
Below is a transcription from the audio I recorded. I will need to speak with him again for more information. He seems willing to answer questions, though is struggling with much of his memories of recent events. Despite the restraints he is in, at all times I felt uneasy being in his presence.
Publisher note: Unfortunately, none of the audio or video files which the Dr writes of were found at Westfield during the clean-up operation. It is likely they were destroyed.
[tape starts]
HR: It is 10.30am on the 10th September 2009. Conducting interview one with J.W.Gray.
[sound of door opening and then closing]
HR: Good morning, Mr Gray. Would you prefer I call you Jonathan? John?
JWG: Father called me Jonathan. Mother called me John. Sis called me Jonnie. I never liked my name. Gray. Just call me Gray.
HR: OK Gray, my name is Dr Henry Renholm. I have been taking care of you here for a while now. Do you know where you are?
JWG: Hell. I’m in Hell.
HR: What makes you say that?
JWG: [aggravated] Can’t you feel it??!! The burning inside? The pulling at your every string by unseen demons who force you to do their will?....
HR: John…. I’m sorry, Gray, you are not in Hell, I assure you. You are safe here, and I am here to help you. OK? Now, I need you to relax, and breathe easy. Tell me what you remember about the last few years. Where did you live? Let’s start there.
JWG: I…. I lived…. Outside of Munford…. I had a cottage, next to a river… on Hillview Court…. with my wife and…. daughter.
HR: Do you recall their names?
JWG: [showing visible signs of struggling to remember] Anna… my wife, her name… was Anna.
HR: Was?
JWG: Yeah.. she, she died. She died when…. when….
[silence]
HR: OK Gray, OK. How about your daughter, do you remember her name?
JWG: … yeah… she, her… name was Marie.
HR: Again, um, was?
JWG: She died too. After Anna did. I think… it’s hard… why is it hard to remember?
HR: Don’t push yourself, Gray, it will come back in time. And, well, I’m very sorry to hear of your losses Gray, truly.
JWG: It doesn’t matter, at least [choked sob] at least they’re at peace. Not like me. Haunted, controlled, afraid… pulled in all directions but with nowhere to go… a remnant.. a shadow... condemned.
HR: Gray, I’d like you to do something for me. I’d like you to try and remember what happened a few months ago, this year. Say around, June time. Can you think about that for me, for next time we speak?
[silence]
HR: Gray?
[silence]
HR: Ok, well thank you for talking with me Gray. Do you think we could speak again? When you are feeling up to it?
JWG: [smirk] Sure Doc. I mean, it ain’t like I’m busy these days is it? [laughter]
[end of tape]
His last statement was strange. It was different, his voice, his speech, the humour. Almost as if I was speaking to another person entirely. It’s too early to suggest multiple-personalities or schizophrenia, but it will be a trait to watch out for as our interviews continue I think.
12 September 2009
Mrs [censored] is dead. 4 days after the attack in the lounge, she has succumbed to her injuries. I will await the morticians report on the exact cause of death. When I informed Mr Gray of her passing, he questioned who she was. When I recounted to him the events of September 9th, he claimed he had no memory of the attack taking place, and was visibly upset at the notion I was presenting; that he has attacked and in turn killed another patient. No interview today, as Gray doesn’t want to talk.
14 September 2009
I conducted a second interview with Gray this morning. He appears to be physically deteriorating, despite us providing him with sufficient food, water and exercise. I notice too that he has been chewing on his fingernails and hands again. A form of self-harm maybe, a physical manifestation of guilt he is not allowing himself to feel?
Publisher note: The transcript of this recording is quite disturbing. Please read at your own discretion.
[start of tape]
HR: Good morning Gray, how are you feeling?
JWG: Tired. Weak. What is in this crap you’re feeding me? And this bag… [referring to the saline IV we use to keep him hydrated while restrained] What’s the deal?
HR: It’s just saline, Gray. Just to keep you hydrated and awake.
JWG: Awake huh? Is that why I’ve not been sleeping?
HR: Have you not been sleeping, Gray? From our records it says you sleep each night?
JWG: No, I…. huh. I mean… I don’t feel like I sleep. I feel tired. All the time. There are gaps, I guess. I don’t… remember stuff. Like, how long have I been in this room Doc? I saw you…. saw you, a week ago?
HR: [rustle of paper] 4 days, Gray. I spoke with you 4 days ago.
[silence]
HR: So, Gray, have you thought any more about what happened with Mrs [censored] ?
JWG: No, I mean, yes, I mean… Look I told you, I have no idea what happened, ok? I don’t know who she is… was…. don’t remember being in the lounge, or what you say I did…
HR: You, did do it, Gray. There were plenty of people who saw you.
JWG: Ok, fine, but please, believe me, I really don’t remember it happening!
[At the risk of pushing Gray too hard I switch topic]
HR: Did you do what I asked you before, Gray? Did you try and remember what happened to you in June?
JWG: It… hurts, to think back… I remember, I wasn’t at home. I mean, I was, but… Someone… came, and took me away. But, Anna and Marie, they were… already gone, I mean…. dead, by then.
HR: Someone took you away? Do you know who? Or where they took you? Or even why?
JWG: [visible signs of anguish and struggling with memory] It’s all, so faint. A blur. Like, through frosted glass… there were a lot of them… they looked like, sounded like military… but I don’t think they were… more like… a private security force… I know they had guns, and… gas masks… couldn’t see faces…
HR: Try to relax, Gray. Breathe deeply, it will help you remember. Tell me, where did they take you? Try and remember, anything, about where you were after they came.
JWG: It was dark. Cold. Strange, I…. I felt, a kind of peace. There was no-one around. Just me. And… bars. I remember bars. Cold, black, iron, I think. Like, a cage. Like a cage you’d put a dog in.
HR: Someone put you in a cage? Did they ever come to you, talk to you, like I am now?
JWG: I don’t… I’m not…. All I can remember is the darkness. Feeling alone. Trying not to think of…. of, my family… the fact they were gone… taken away… dead. And I saw it happen! I… I saw it…. I felt it……
[A moment occurred, which neither the audio tape nor this document can record with the pronounced effect it had. But I saw it, with my own eyes. I saw the look on Gray’s face, and in his eyes, when he relived something he had buried deep and forgotten]
JWG: Oh god. I….….. did I….. was it me?....did I…. kill them? NO!.... NO! I…. my Anna… my love… those eyes… so blue, but so cold… not moving… and a scream… MARIE!
[Gray is now yelling and screaming, trashing in his restraints, eyes wide]
JWG: MARIE! You get in here now!... Baby, Oh look! Don’t you see? Mummy is waiting for you….
[Gray cocks his head violently to the left, an audible crack is heard even over the sounds of his creaking restraints]
JWG: She was…. So small… and fragile… like a little, porcelain doll… she felt warm, her neck… was so smooth, as it… broke between my hands. Such a quick, fleeting moment, that. ‘Anna and Marie, here they be, lying together for eternity!’ [maniacal laughter] Do you like my poem, Doc?....
[silence]
JWG: [whisper] Would you like me to write one about you?
[tape ends]
At this point I left the room, and ordered Mr Gray to be sedated immediately. He is clearly insane. But moreover, it appears his periods of insanity are hidden even from his own consciousness. I would bet, that if I speak with him again [and I stress the if, because I am not sure I care to at this time] he would not recall our last conversation. We shall see.
14 September 2009 (addendum]
I have decided that I must speak with Gray again. We will leave him sedated for a few days, let him sleep, rest, clear his head. Hopefully he will forget our last encounter, and I can get some more answers about what happened to him.
18 September 2009
A few hours after taking him off the sedation, Gray is awake and moving around his room. He seems normal, at least for now. I will speak with him tomorrow; for now I need a little more time to figure out what to ask.
19 September 2009
Following this morning’s interview, D H. Renholm is unavailable to write this report. Interview was transcripted by [censored] at Dr Renholm’s request.
HR: So, Gray. Here we are again. Tell me – did you enjoy your rest?
[silence]
HR: Okay… how about we go back to the cage. Remember? The cage where you said you were kept.
[silence]
HR: [sigh]. Come on Gray. You need to help me to help you here. Think. What were you doing inside the ca….
JWG: [interrupts HR] There was a man. He kept saying phrases like… “the subject”… “the experiment” … “the agent”… “the contaminant”… talking about me like I was, like I was a, a, an experiment or something…. I’m not a subject! I’m a fucking person! I have rights! I’m not some god-damned lab rat! NO! NO NO NO!
[sounds of violent trashing, restraint chains rattling]
JWG: GRRRARGH you won’t DO this to me! Not again! NO! I’LL KILL YOU! I swear I’ll kill you! You won’t experiment on me anymore!
[sounds of restraints creaking and breaking, Dr Renholm screaming, alarms going off]
[a window smashes, cutting (chewing? biting?) noises]
HR: Get in here! Security! For the love of God! Help me! HEEEELLLLP!..... [loud thud]
[door bursts open, sounds of JWG being restrained by several men, Dr Renholm crying for medical aid]
[tape cuts off]
20 September 2009
No entry
21 September 2009
No entry
22 September 2009
I feel….. strange. Since my last… encounter, with Gray. My wounds are healing, but… not in a manner I could consider normal. And the bite marks. They are, oozing, something. The report came back from the mortician regarding Mrs [censored]. According to the experts, in all their medial wisdom, her biology shows every indication that she died the day that she was attacked. But that can’t be. Can it? I know she was alive, for 4 days, I saw her. Others saw her! Spoke with her. Or at least, spoke to her… I have ordered re-tests. I’m not expecting rush job though.
I hear that the mortician has been out sick for a few days now.
23 September 2009
After suffering from insomnia again last night, I am beginning to wonder if we made a mistake. If, I, made a mistake. Gray said he is in Hell. In our first interview, almost first thing he said to me, in fact. Does he think he is dead somehow? He is clearly alive. We give him food, water, but….. his body is still wasting… but he moves… speaks! Dead people don’t pace their rooms, or… or get interviewed!
No, no no no this is my imagination running away and divulging into nonsense. I must be delirious from fever, or.. something, something from Gray’s bites, an infection from one of my cuts. It will be fine. I just wish this headache would go away… I must ask for more next mealtime… my appetite isn’t being satisfied with this crap food.
I wish I could get some sleep….
Publisher note: this entry was highly censored, and partially destroyed. We have done our best to decipher what it may have said – this can be found on the next page.
[Classified Entry]
[25 September 2009]
Entry made by [censored].
[censored] was declared [censored] this morning at 9.32am.
He was found [censored] at the hospital. It is believed that [censored] several days ago.
CCTV footage shows him [censored] with Mr Gray in his room and [censored] out of the Hospital before returning to his office.
He [censored], and written “[censored]” across the walls using his [censored].
At this time we do not know the whereabouts of [censored].
We may never know why [censored] released him from [censored].
THIS PAGE WAS NOT PART OF THE ORIGINAL REPORT
IT IS AN INTERPRETATION OF THE DAMAGED AND CENSORED ENTRY FROM THE PREVIOUS PAGE
[Classified Entry]
[25 September 2009]
Entry made by [censored].
Dr Henry Renholm was declared dead this morning at 9.32am.
He was found in his office at the hospital. It is believed that he died several days ago.
CCTV footage shows him speaking with Mr Gray in his room and escorting him out of the Hospital before returning to his office.
He had chewed his fingernails off, and written “patientia” across the walls using his own blood.
At this time we do not know the whereabouts of Mr Gray.
We may never know why Dr Renholm released him from the Hospital.
THIS PAGE WAS NOT PART OF THE ORIGINAL REPORT
Epilogue (from Publisher)
On 1st October 2009, a ‘clean-up’ operation was put into effect at the Westfield Psychiatric Hospital by what appeared to be a joint effort between the armed forces and the DEFRA.
The hospital, which was publically listed as being abandoned by that time, was destroyed and all traces of it removed to places unknown due to a “health hazard” according to the local presses.
Reports from members of the public regarding strange noises at night coming from the building, shadows moving inside and animals disappearing from local neighbourhoods were largely dismissed as hoaxes, or repressed and kept from the media on large.
Despite numerous attempts at communication neither the armed forces, the DEFRA or the government have made any statements or comments regarding Westfield Psychiatric Hospital.
Hillview Court, the remote grassland where Mr Gray claimed to have lived, reportedly had its river closed off and filled in sometime in early 2009. There is no evidence that a residential building existed in this area.
There has been no further information concerning one Jonathan Whitehall Gray released to this date.
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