Safe Haven
Alice Liddell
Copyright 2010 by Blushing Books and Alice Liddell
Smashwords Edition
Copyright 2010 by Blushing Books and Alice Liddell
All rights reserved. No part of the book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the publisher.
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Liddell, Alice
Safe Haven
eBook ISBN: 978-1-60968-153-1
Cover by ABCD Webmasters & Graphics
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Chapter One
Cassie’s Homecoming
Cassandra Stevens fumbled in her backpack, searching for his key. She knew it was in there; she’d put it in there this morning. Damn it! Where was it? In frustration, she dumped everything out onto the doorstep. She found it, hidden in the jumble of notebooks and tampons and bits of papers. But her heart sank when she looked at the mess. She didn’t want to deal with this. She didn’t want to deal with anything right now but she could hardly leave everything strewn across his doorstep. So she knelt down and handful by handful stuffed it back into her pack. She was worn out and just wanted to get inside.
Naturally, the lock wouldn’t yield. This was the first time she’d needed to let herself in and she wasn’t familiar with the lock. She felt tears well up. Nothing felt right about arriving when Roy wasn’t there. Usually he was home first. But it was exam period so she was done earlier than usual for a Friday. Roy had given her a key and permission to come as soon as she was finished with her final. She shifted from one foot to the other on his doorstep as she jiggled the key in the lock, sure his neighbors were watching and getting suspicious.
Finally the lock finally gave way, and with a sigh of relief Cassandra slipped into the quiet haven of Roy’s home. He’d left the air conditioner on for her. Everything was neat and tidy, as usual. It was so calming to be here, despite everything that she was put through in this house. Well, let’s be honest: because of everything she was put through in this house.
Cassandra bolted the door behind her, and moved to the kitchen table where he had said she’d find a note. She sat down heavily on a chair, and dropped her pack onto the table. Before she did anything else, she fished out her wallet and car keys and put them on the table for him. That was part of the routine, part of their arrangement. On Friday afternoons, as soon as she arrived, she surrendered these and everything else that made her an adult in the eyes of the outside world. Without her keys and driver’s license, she was that much more under his control. She couldn’t drive off in a huff anymore than a child can. Not that she would. Roy’s home was a safe haven for her. She knew it was the only thing that gave her the strength to stay in school.
She picked up the note and read his neat script. “Dear Cassie,” it began. “Welcome home. I put out a snack of your favorite cookies for you. You can get yourself a glass of milk from the fridge if you want, but be careful not to spill. Be a good girl until I get home (about six). I’ll give you a nice warm bath before dinner. Love, Daddy.”
Cassandra didn’t get a glass of milk. She never drank it except when she was here, and then only because he insisted. She took a cookie from the plate, bit into it, and looked at her watch. 4:10. Then she remembered, and removed the watch and set it next to her wallet and keys. Little girls don’t wear watches. While she chewed on the cookie, she flipped open her wallet and looked at her driver’s license. Twenty-nine years old. Way too old to be a junior in college. Why was it taking her so long to get through the normal stages of life?
She knew why, but knowing didn’t make it any easier. She had her reasons. A father who disappeared. A mother who drank. Too many siblings. The wrong sorts of boyfriends. She took another cookie and reminded herself how much better she’d done in the last few years.
The tangible proof of her upward progress, of course, was that she’d been accepted at State. It was quite a feat to get in as a transfer student, especially from the mediocre junior college that had been the only place that would take her when she’d tried to make her fresh start. The first month at State had been very hard. From the moment she’d arrived, she felt like a fish out of water. She hated the noise and lack of privacy in the dorm. She longed for her own apartment, but couldn’t afford it. Not at the prices in this town. The coursework was much more demanding than she was used to, and the professors and other students intimidated her. She was older than everyone in her classes and too awkward to make friends. Every evening, the temptation to close her books had been almost too strong to resist. She didn’t want to study; she felt like finding a bar, maybe even picking up some guy for something nice and anonymous. Anything to make her forget the insecurity that gnawed at her guts.
That was when she’d seen the ad in the personals section of the campus paper. She’d read it so many times before she’d screwed up the courage to respond that she could still recall it, word for word. It had spoken directly to her. It had been in the third column, second ad from the top. It read: “Feeling lost? Father figure understands the little girl inside you. Will provide safe, supportive environment in return for your obedience and best behavior. You can expect strict but loving guidance. DaddyR@mailbox.com.”
They had met in a quiet coffee shop a few blocks off campus. She liked him immediately, and felt soothed by his calm demeanor. He was nearly twenty years her senior, but trim and well dressed and a full head taller than her. They talked for a long time. He was experienced. He had done this before. A two-year relationship with a Canadian student until she left for graduate school. Another young woman before that.
She was surprised that she opened up and told him about her family. She didn’t like to talk about her childhood and rarely did. Roy listened quietly as no one had ever listened to her before.
“Yeah, that’s a tough way to grow up,” he agreed. “And maybe that’s part of why you feel the way you do, but I don’t think that’s all it is. Some women are submissive. It’s just the way they are, like being tall or being a redhead. It’s ok to be that way. There are a lot of men, including me, who think a submissive woman is the most precious thing in the world.”
Cassandra was stunned. It was so hard for her to understand her fantasies and desires. And here was a man who not only understood but valued this part of her. He watched a big tear slide down her cheek then reached across the table and caught it with his finger. He smiled softly, and held her eyes with his. They were both silent for a few minutes.
“Cassandra is a beautiful name,” he said at last. “It comes from Greek mythology. If I remember correctly, Kassandra was the daughter of Priam and Hecuba and was said to have the gift of prophecy.” He fell silent again. “Yes, it’s a beautiful name but a bit of a mouthful, don’t you think?” She did think. One of her mother’s many affectations had been to give all her kids la-di-dah names. “Cassandra,” he said softly, turning her name over on his tongue once more. “It’s just too grown-up. I think I’d better call you ‘Cassie.’”
She was smitten. They came to an agreement right there in the coffee shop, at their first meeting. Cassie would spend every weekend at his house, coming Friday afternoon and returning to campus on Monday morning for her first class. He would provide her with a room and meals, and make sure she studied and got enough sleep. In return, she would follow his rules. He was quite clear about what kind of rules she could expect, as well as the consequences for failure to obey. She agreed to his terms. All of them.
Cassie took the last cookie on the plate, and looked at her watch on the table. She wanted to soak in a hot bath. She didn’t want to wait. If she went now, she could be done long before he got home. It wouldn’t hurt her to have another bath later if that’s what he wanted, and she’d feel so much better now. She was half aware that she was resisting his authority, but she’d been on her own all week, making her own decisions. It wasn’t like she could just flip a switch on Fridays and go instantly from grown woman to obedient little girl. The transition wasn’t always easy, and today she was too tired and dirty to wait for him to come home.
So she pulled herself out of the chair and went up the stairs to the bathroom. She stripped off her sweaty clothes and filled the tub with the hottest water she could stand. God, it felt so good. It had been a rough week. Frankly, the entire semester had been rough. She knew she’d never have made it through this first semester without the weekends here. She ran a bar of soap over her arms and chest, feeling the stress seep away as the hot water worked on her tense muscles. She slid her bottom down the tub until her shoulders were all the way under the water. I’ll just rest for a few minutes, she promised herself.
The water had grown cold by the time she opened her eyes again. She pulled the plug but stayed where she was. She felt her body go heavy against the cold porcelain as the water swirled down the drain leaving her beached. She was shivering yet couldn’t make herself move. But she’d better. Cassie hauled herself up, grabbed a towel and rubbed her wet hair between the folds of thick terry. She wrapped the towel around her torso, and reached for the doorknob. She would need to get dressed quickly, she realized, if she was going to tidy everything up before he came home.
Pulling open the bathroom door, Cassie gasped to find herself looking at Roy’s chest.
“I see you finally decided to emerge. There’s only one bathroom in this house and it’s not yours to monopolize.”
“I’m..I’m sorry,” Cassie stammered, shocked to find him home. Was he early? How long had she been in the tub? “I didn’t expect you yet.”
“So I gather. Apparently you thought it was perfectly fine to disobey my instructions,” he said icily. “It would seem you think you may do whatever you like as long as I’m not here to catch you at it.”
Cassie’s stomach lurched at the tone in his voice. She dropped her head in shame and her eyes fell upon the hairbrush in his hand. She looked up in fright . “Oh, no, please!”