FAR AWAY AT HOME ________________________
David Bellarosa
FAR AWAY AT HOME
Copyright © 2009 by David Bellarosa, all rights reserved.
copywrite,
2008 + 2009
Published in March 2009
from North Carolina.
Written in America.
New York City, New Jersey, Portsmouth NH, Boston MA, Alaska, North Carolina; sometimes driving.
This book edition is published by arrangement with its Author.
Lonely Giant Productions
www.lonelygiant.com
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*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
In the desert,
all the humor is dry.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
I know a guy
who won’t ever think twice
about hanging out
and smiles all the time
but he stays a little too long
and he’ll smoke too much
and he’ll always try to make you laugh
but he’ll never tell anything you tell him ever
and he’ll never kiss your ex girl
and you can keep borrowing the same ten bucks always
but no one appreciates him
and he smiles all the time
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
My phone is dead
and people write off a person
with a dead phone
like someone who tells
they’re leaving town,
six months in advance,
unless they’re a millionaire
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
When I finally saw her again
her face was thin
and she was wearing too much make-up
I made a scene anyway
but it was like talking to a waitress
or a little kid
I used to know
who had grown in ways
and lost the things
we had understood for each other
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Today is one of those days,
when I can’t get up from lying down
and my charms
are all leaning up against the wall,
by the door,
smoking cigarettes
and biding their time.
I have to remind myself
I’m not usually like this,
that this is just one of those days
I’ll get smiles and laughs and kisses
and seduce people again
but not today,
This is one of them days.
I apologize,
I’m not on today
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Sometimes,
I feel like an old technology
It’s a useless passion
to be me
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
He used to have a long ponytail and he cut it
He's working again and he lives in Sayreville
He's got a rough job
You think it's just two days
but it's everyday he's doing it
When he brings it down the hill
by that white building on the left hand side
they consolidate it all into a big truck
and take it to the dumps
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
How shameful it was
to see her
sweating bubblegum tears
and sighing winds
that could drown
the most seaworthy of ships
She still reminds me of myself
when I forget who I am
and where she’s been
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
You said you liked how I’m an American
and how I am as one
I liked that you weren’t
and that you spoke Portuguese
I liked your bottom and your sides
and some of your questions
Thank you for cutting my nails
It was nice
watching all of those movies
laying down
your hair out the shower
and our meal
I didn’t know you threw up so much
I don’t really anymore
and never have for those reasons
but that isn’t why
I haven’t called
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
A tree is,
but I cannot just be
because I had to be a Person
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Black Man in a White House, November 4, 2008.
Things would feel a whole lot different,
walking around,
with him in there.
I voted for him today,
in the basement
of a new church,
prayed upstairs afterwards
I hope he wins
I’d like to talk to him
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
It’s been raining here for 3 and a½ years.
And it is days like these
I think of you
And how we left
And if the sun
will ever
come out
for me
again.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
My couch is blue.
I lay on it
pretending it’s a raft
and I’m drifting away,
above the dirty floor,
beyond the television.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
I shouldn’t be here anymore
Should be gone already
Should have left yesterday
but my apartment is filled
with too many things,
and more dust
than a gravedigger’s shed.
I’d leave tomorrow
and let the mouse keep it all,
but I haven’t seen her for days.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
My heart
was a dead bird
and you found it
like a little kid
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Hercules with his swollen arms
couldn’t save you now
You’ve lost it kid
and forgotten why you came in the first place.
Settle for second or third
Try to remember a time
when you weren’t so picky
hard on yourself
more charming
better in the room
Maybe even the best
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
This morning I dreamed
that I woke up
and it was the future
and we looked out the window
and cars were flying
and buildings didn’t touch the ground
and people were all hurrying around
and I had to get to the bank
and buy a gun
and meet someone.
but I couldn’t leave
until I found something
I couldn’t figure out what it was.
Then I remembered --
my glasses
in the refrigerator
And woke up
And never made it outside
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
The people who live on my ceiling are a real hassle
and whenever they come down and complain
it bores me to death.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
I’ve got a number
Of a place
You can go and sit
If you need to
There’s nothing to drink there
And you can’t smoke
But they’ll let you sit
And they won’t bother you,
Ask you any questions,
Or take you away
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
I saw a dead rat this morning
on my way to the train
He was curled up stiff
and had bright red blood
all around his mouth
like lipstick.
Next to him on the ground
was a little empty drug bag
from the night before
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
You know how to take care of a man
When I was putting on
my socks and shoes
at the end of your bed
you sat up in silk robe
and rubbed my back
and kissed my neck
and made me feel good
like you wanted me to stay
My grandmother would say
you’re an Oriental
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
I never really lied to you.
They were always as innocent as
telling you I caught the mouse
and let him go outside
so you would spend the night
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
The wake’s over.
The cars are all leaving.
Don’t you dare smoke
on your way to that cemetery
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
When you’re sick
and coughing
and can’t smoke
and have little money for food
and shouldn’t take a girl out
because you wouldn’t be very charming
you should stay home
and cough
and not smoke
and not spend money
and not take a girl out
because you’re sick and should eat,
and you wouldn’t be very charming anyway.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Sitting in the bathroom
at home
I think about
when I make it
will I still have to do this.
I think about the President
and Martin Scorsese
If they ever say to themselves,
Man, I still gotta do this.
After all I’ve accomplished.
and I scratch my head
and I wipe
and I flush
and they do too
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*