OTHER E-BOOKS IN THIS SERIES
‘How to achieve what you want when you want’
7 powerful principles of successful thinking for work, life and everything
by Andy Gilbert, this FREE 33 page e-book is packed with ideas and tips on the 7 principles of successful thinking. It contains 8 top tips to help you define your goals, 5 steps to help you plan your priorities and yet more tips on strengthening your self-belief, how to involve others more successfully and how to make choices. Put into action immediately these ideas will greatly increase your probability of achieving what you want, when you want.
Each of our powerful principles of successful thinking is also the subject of a separate e-book, giving more detail and more tips to help you.
To obtain your copy of this FREE e-book simply visit www.gomadthinking.com
THINKING PRINCIPLE TWO
‘How to determine what you want and when you want it’
Pragmatic steps to leaping into the top 5% of goal definers
by Andy Gilbert & Rob Smith, gives you tips on defining exactly what it is you want to achieve, as well as helping to increase your self-belief that you can achieve it. It will make your task of deciding priorities, which we cover in this e-book, really easy!
THINKING PRINCIPLE THREE
‘How to produce plentiful possibilities, pressing priorities and perfect plans’
Quick and easy tips to plan your success and get you started
by Andy Gilbert & Ken Hudson, gives you some quick and easy steps to plan your success and get you started. With tips to eliminate time wasting, generate loads of ideas and produce a plan that will work for you, it will help you make your goal come to life and stay alive!
THINKING PRINCIPLE FOUR
‘How to create a self-belief that you can and will achieve’
Powerful insights into building the confidence to succeed
by Andy Gilbert & Graham Field, expands on Henry Ford’s famous quote “Whether you believe you can do a thing or not, you are right.” It gives a powerful insight into just how much we are governed by limiting beliefs, and how we can harness the power of our minds to achieve so much more than we ever dreamed possible.
THINKING PRINCIPLE FIVE
‘How to get others on your side’
Definitive guidelines on involving others to achieve what you want
by Andy Gilbert & Caron Lindley, gives an explanation of the five types of people that you can involve to help you achieve your goal. Research has shown that the bigger your goal, the better your chances of success if you involve others to help. If you only ever involve the people closest to you, then this e-book is for you!
THINKING PRINCIPLE SIX
‘How to make personal choices and take responsibility’
Insightful ideas to help you own your thoughts and actions
by Andy Gilbert & Ken Hudson, takes a hard look at responsibility and its consequences. Personal Responsibility lies at the heart of our Solution Focused Thinking System. Without it the system collapses. Without it, you are missing out on success, respect and leadership. It even promises to be liberating!
THINKING PRINCIPLE SEVEN
‘How to guarantee success’
Clear and simple tips on taking action and measuring results
by Andy Gilbert & Rob Smith, is a hard-hitting finale to the seven key principles of Solution Focused Thinking. As well as challenging your thinking, and challenging you to put it all into practice, there is valuable advice on measuring goals, especially difficult-to-measure things like ‘confidence’. Plus an invitation for you to choose to make a difference.
‘The Making A Difference Workbook’
30 activities and exercises for successful thinking about work, life and everything
by the Go MAD Team, is an essential guide to help you put into practice successful thinking. The workbook is structured to allow you to think through key issues and turn them into practical applications that you can put to use immediately. It will help you take a step closer to what you want to achieve.
To order any of the above e-books, simply visit www.gomadthinking.com
CONTENTS
Page
Introduction 5
6 ways that this e-book will help you
1. Are you a ‘whining dog’? 6
2. If you don’t enjoy it, change something 7
Your 4 choices in life
3. How to escape from the rut 9
8 questions to help you
4. Why New Year’s Resolutions don’t work 11
5. How to save yourself masses of time 11
6. Maintaining the new momentum 13
3 tips to keep saving time and stress
7. Are you a Push-Me-Pull-You? 13
8. Identify what you value 15
9. Don’t say it if you don’t mean it 15
10. Make the reason why stronger than the reason why not 16
11. Eliminate ‘trying’ 17
12. Move beyond thinking, “One day I will…” 18
13. Make a difference in Egypt (or not, as it happened) 18
14. Choose to be happy 19
15. Remind yourself with a trigger 19
16. Learning summary 20
17. Where to go from here 21
Liability disclaimer
The material contained in this e-book is general and is not intended as advice on any particular matter. Go MAD Research & Consulting Group and the author expressly disclaim all and any liability to any person whatsoever in respect of anything done by any person in reliance, whether in whole or in part, on this e-book. Please take appropriate legal advice before acting on any information in this e-book.
INTRODUCTION
Welcome to ‘How to develop a personal passion’ This e-book is designed to help you define and develop your motivation to achieve. How often do you look at your in-tray and see stuff there that’s been there for ages? What do you say to yourself? ‘Oh good, I can’t wait to get on with this?’ or perhaps more realistically ‘I know I need to do this, but I really can’t be bothered!’ Maybe you eventually do it, unwillingly and unenthusiastically, but only because the deadline is approaching fast.
This e-book will help you:
Increase your motivation for things that are essential, but you don’t enjoy
Release the guilt complex for things that you feel you should do, but really can’t be bothered with
Set a firm foundation for things you want to make a difference about
Provide an explanation for some of the things you haven’t achieved in the past
Change your approach to things you don’t like
Recognise and help other people who are ‘whining dogs’.
At Go MAD Thinking we researched what made people successful. The result of the 4000 hours of research was a system of seven linked principles that we call ‘Solution Focused Thinking’. If you haven’t done so already, you may wish to get our free e-book ‘How to achieve what you want, when you want’, which gives an overview of the Go MAD Solution Focused Thinking System. The first thinking principle is called ‘Reason Why’. It might sound obvious, but you need a strong ‘reason why’ to be motivated to achieve. So we are going to take a closer look at your ‘reason why’ and give you tips and techniques to help you.
Take
Action
Self
Belief Plan Priorities Define
Goal Reason
Why
Personal Responsibility Involve
Others
Go MAD Framework
As all seven principles are linked, read the other e-books and get the workbook in this series as well for maximum effect!
But first – a story about a whining dog!
Imagine a scene from an American movie, set in an old mid-western town. There is a house with a large wooden porch and a rocking chair for Grandpa. It’s a hot sunny day and a dog whines, but nobody takes much notice. Another dog walks by and hears the whining.
“What’s the matter? Why are you whining?” asks the passing dog.
“I’m lying on a nail and it hurts”, replies the first dog.
“Well why don’t you do something about it?”
“It doesn’t hurt enough.”
How many whining dogs have you met, who talk about making a difference yet haven’t got a strong enough reason why? I occasionally work with groups where it seems that most, if not all, are lying on some form of nail.
Perhaps you have been there yourself as well. Most people have at some time in their lives. Most of all we hear people complaining about their jobs or their lot in life. Do any of these sound familiar?
My job is so boring.
I went on a course to learn xyz but I’m not being given the opportunity to practise it.
My boss doesn’t tell me anything that’s going on.
None of the departments ever work together.
My boss doesn’t appreciate what I do.
I’m overworked and underpaid.
I never seem to get out and about.
I’d really like to work for myself.
I always have to stay late to get everything done.
When a person continually moans about one of these things, but does nothing to make a difference, then they are lying on the proverbial nail.
If you find yourself stuck with a ‘whining dog’ at home or in the office, it is easy to be sucked into the same syndrome and find something to moan about yourself. However, if you’re not a natural whining dog, then you might say “Then do something about it!” This could be more easily said than done for someone whose self-belief that they can actually change something is very low. (See thinking principle four all about self-belief for more information on this.) If this is the case, you could well receive a response along the lines “That’s easy for you to say in your position. But I’ve got….”
At least now I (and you!) can say, “Here, have a read of this e-book!” As you read through the rest of this e-book, you will also find some good questions that you can ask them!
The truth is that we all have choices. Sometimes the choice is so bad that we don’t believe it is a choice. What this actually means is that we have a very strong reason why not. If you have recognised yourself as a ‘whining dog’ or recognise it in others around you, then this section is definitely for you.
Whatever it is, when your heart is not in it, you don’t enjoy it. You become less motivated by it, and less likely to make a difference about it. A strong ‘reason why’ is lacking. So what are your options? You basically have four choices:
1.
Change it
4.
Escape
from it 2.
Change
yourself
3.
Live with it
Option 1 is not always possible. Sometimes it cannot be changed. Even if you can change it, you might not have a motive for action that is strong enough to make a difference.
Option 2 is about changing the way you respond to it. You could focus on finding an enjoyable part of it. You could develop a more positive response to it. You could choose to appreciate the importance of it.
Option 3 is doing nothing about it. But, if you carry on doing it, stop whining about it. This might prove to be a difficult option if the nail becomes more painful!
Option 4 is finding another it; one that is enjoyable or at least one that is less painful. It is often the last option that we consider, because of the consequences (e.g. in a relationship breakdown or leaving a well-paid job).
"Half the world is composed of people who have something to say and can't, and the other half who have nothing to say keep saying it."
Robert Frost
Let me give you a personal example from one of my colleagues. In 1986, she was working as an Export Sales Manager for a large well-known company. She had left a company where she had worked in a small division of like-minded people where the teamwork had been excellent. This is something she hadn’t really appreciated until she arrived at the second company where she found the lack of teamwork and trust frustrating and soul-destroying. Something needed to change.
Option 1
She attempted to change the situation by building as many bridges as she could with the other people and departments. She made some inroads, particularly with the manufacturing units outside the UK. However, the distrust was so ingrained within the UK operation that she began to run out of steam and felt she was banging her head against a brick wall, especially with having four different bosses within one year.
Option 2
She had been through little management development at this stage – having left the first company through the lack of it. She was unaware that changing herself and her perspective of things was an option, so she moved to Option 3. If you believe that it’s not possible to change your feelings, read the e-book on thinking principle four. This is all about self-belief and how we can change what we think.
Option 3
She attempted to live with the situation for a few months, but her friends and family had to put up with the whining, as did the one or two people within the company that she could talk to.
Option 4
Eventually the nail became so painful she chose option 4. Having only been there for 20 months, she felt that she hadn’t done the job justice.
Looking back at her experience, my colleague feels that if she had the same job now, she would approach it in a very different way and the outcome would have been very different. If you don’t enjoy something, choose which option to take. The decision is your responsibility (the e-book about thinking principle six is all about personal responsibility). Also assess if you have a strong enough reason why to do anything?
Discomfort can become unnoticeable over a period of time and may even be accepted as the norm. The effort of doing something about it can be perceived as more uncomfortable than the current discomfort. For many people, avoiding embarrassment or failure can be a stronger reason why not to attempt something, than the potential outcome or desired results. Hence, nothing happens.
Why do so many people, who are unhappy at work, wait until their jobs are made redundant before moving to one that they enjoy more? Because it doesn’t hurt enough, yet. A comfortable rut can be a dangerous rut. Mark McCormack, in ‘What they don’t teach you at Harvard Business School’ makes the following link between aligning your work with your values:
“If you’re bored it’s your fault. You just aren’t working hard enough at making your job interesting. It is also probably the reason you haven’t been offered anything better. Find out what you love to do and you will be successful at it.”
Have you heard the expression: “Get a life”? I have heard it used sarcastically and out of desperation or exasperation. In order to escape from the rut, you need a reason why. So let’s be more focused:
“I am the master of my fate; I am the captain of my soul."
William Ernest Henley
Whether you are in a comfortable or uncomfortable rut at the moment it might be useful to ask yourself these questions if you think that the nail is becoming painful. Find a piece of paper and start by writing down your answers.
What might I possibly do to change the situation?
What might be the benefits of staying in this rut?
What might be the benefits of climbing out of this rut?
What do I really dislike about this situation?
What do I really like about this situation?
(If appropriate) What might possibly make the other people in this situation act in the way they do?
How might I possibly change the way I think about this situation/these people?
What might I possibly miss if I escaped from it?
Keep going until you have ten answers for each question. Then spend a bit of time thinking about your answers. What are your answers telling you?
Now give yourself a score on the strength of your reason why to get out of the rut, where 1 is low (I can’t really be bothered at all) and 10 is high (my reason why is so strong it keeps me awake at night).
If you scored between 1 and 5, then you have two more choices.
Realise that you haven’t got a strong enough reason why to change. Stay in your rut and stop whining!
Understand that at the moment your reason why to make a difference is probably not strong enough. Keep reading to help you strengthen your reason why.
If you scored 6, 7 or 8 then you have a reasonably strong reason why to change. However, anything else in your life that has a strength of reason why with a score of 9 or 10 will take precedence. You have been warned! Keep reading to boost this score, and also read about thinking principles two (defining your goal) and three (planning priorities), which will also help.
If you scored 9 or 10, then you have an excellent foundation on which to make a difference. This will also provide you with a reason why to read the rest of the e-books in this series to make sure that you have every opportunity to succeed.
At 11.45 pm each December 31st, with a drink in one hand and the other clutching a handful of crisps, millions of people talk about differences they intend to make. Differences that, for most, will not be made! New Year’s Eve is absolutely the wrong time of year to decide to make a difference. For the next few weeks, healthy diets are maintained, smoking ceases, exercise increases, habits temporarily halt and what’s the reason why? “It’s my New Year resolution!” Very often, this tradition at New Year is the only reason why and, for most people, it does not prove to be strong enough as a motive for continued action.
Next time you are tempted to make a New Year’s Resolution, subject it to the same scrutiny that we did in the last section. Give it a score from 1 to 10. Ask your heart of hearts how strong is your REAL reason why for wanting this change. If it comes out at a score of 5 or less, then do yourself a favour – DON’T BOTHER!
Where there’s no will, there’s no way! When the reason is strong enough, you will do what is necessary. Strong willpower is always caused by a strong underlying purpose; a reason to put in the effort and take action. Reasons are the fuel behind the goal. Without them, there will be no substantial progress. Strong reasons are what cause you to want the goal in the first place.
Take yourself back to that in-tray full at the bottom with stuff that you don’t really want to do. Extract everything that has been there for more than 3 days. Divide it into 2 piles, one pile for things that are essential for you to do because of your job, and the other pile is the ‘nice but not essential’ stuff. If you have a long ‘to do’ list at home, you can apply the same principle.