Retail Ramblings
by
Kevin Domenic
*******
PUBLISHED BY:
Kevin Domenic on Smashwords
Retail Ramblings
Copyright © 2010 by Kevin Domenic
Cover Image by: Laura Crump
All rights reserved. Without limiting the rights under copyright reserved above, no part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in or introduced into a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form, or by any means (electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise) without the prior written permission of both the copyright owner and the above publisher of this book.
I've changed the names of companies for the sake of my own legal protection. I don't need to get sued. If my fake names for companies turn out to be actual names (Cheapmart, Computer Galaxy, etc), it is purely coincidental. Should you own a company with one of the names I use in this book, shame on you for having such a lame imagination. But let me know, and I'll change the name to something else.
Smashwords Edition License Notes
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**Disclaimer**
This book is a collection of my own stories I've written detailing some of the more absurd customers I've encountered during my dozen or so years in retail. Originally, these stories were meant simply as a means to release stress after a busy day of being hassled by customers. As such, you will no doubt find many grammatical errors, punctuation mistakes, and other such inconsistencies throughout the text.
Deal with it. Because, honestly, if that's the kind of thing that's going to upset you, chances are this book isn't for you.
After all, how often are "ramblings" of ANY sort grammatically correct?
Introduction
First and foremost, let me say that we, the employees of the customer service field, are human beings just like the rest of you. We have families, friends, lives, and bills. We have good times and bad, great accomplishments and horrible tragedies. Just like you, we do have emotions, and just like you, sometimes our emotions can get the best of us.
I've heard it said by many people that if you work in the service industry, you should be prepared to always put on a happy face and give each customer the most pleasant and wonderful shopping experience they've ever received. Typically, those same people say that if you aren't prepared to perform that way, then the service industry isn't for you. This, oh arrogant customer, is a crock.
There are very few people who work at CheapMart because their dream was to spend their career stocking shelves at CheapMart. It's quite unlikely that the guy who makes your burger at Cheeseburger Champion does it because it was the greatest aspiration he had for his life. Sure, there are people out there like that, but the number is likely to be something like one out of every thousand. Yes, I pulled that statistic outta my head. I base it on the number of people I've worked with over the years. Over a decade of retail experience and I have never come across anyone who felt they were working their "dream job."
The majority of service workers are doing the job for two reasons: They needed a job, and (insert company name here) hired them. Plain and simple.
The common notion out there seems to be that if we don't like working customer service jobs, we should get out of that field. Right, because it's just THAT simple! Hate to break it to you, but not everyone has a degree to get a job in their preferred field. Not everyone has the money to GET a degree in their preferred field. And while a degree isn't necessary to get a job, the majority of the most easily accessible jobs out there that don't require a degree involve customer service in one form or another.
For that matter, many don't even HAVE a preferred field because they haven't yet discovered something that they really enjoy doing. It took me four years after high school to figure out what I wanted to do with my life. In the meantime, when you're a teenager with no work experience under your belt, who is going to hire you? The answer, of course, is the customer service industry. Sure, there are other companies here and there that might want to take a chance on an inexperienced teenager, but the majority of job opportunities come from the service field.
And that's what most customers don't seem to understand. We are just working our way through college. We're working a second job to pay bills. We're trying to buy cars, pay off student loans, pay auto insurance, etc. We're not trying to sell you a pack of paperclips at Office Supply Land because we have some kind of absurd passion for office supply products, we're doing it because it was the job we were offered, and it pays the bills - or some of them, anyway. You can't expect us to be all happy-go-lucky about leading you to the toilet paper aisle or extra-sizing your french fries. It's not exactly a very fulfilling lifestyle, but for most of us, it's a temporary necessity. If you told an unhappy retail employee to get another job if they didn't like customer service, they'd likely respond with, "I'd love to. Who's hiring?"
Then there is the human factor that no one ever seems to take into account. As I said, we are people with lives just as much as you are, and we experience emotions too. I remember an incident at Computer Galaxy when I almost got in trouble because some over-sensitive customer got all upset over something that had nothing to do with her. We had three long lines at all the registers, and we were trying to get people out as fast as we could. One of our salesmen brought up a cart full of stuff - a computer, monitor, printer, cables, etc - for me to ring up. Then he decides he forgot something and runs off, telling us to wait a minute. I started to get pretty annoyed because we had a lot of people waiting and the salesman had stopped my line dead. Well, this customer saw me shaking my head slightly, and when the salesman returned, she demanded that he summon the manager because I was "huffing and puffing" over having to ring up their sale.
I didn't have a problem with her before that, but you can be sure that AFTER she jumped to that absurd conclusion, I was pretty ticked off at her. It infuriates me how customers LOOK for things to complain about.
If an employee is taking a personal call at the cash register, most customers get annoyed. What if it is an emergency? What if they're getting an update on a sick relative? What if the babysitter just called to tell them the electricity had been shut off? Customers have no idea what's going on in these people's lives, yet they whine and complain if they aren't helped in less than thirty seconds. I refer to it as the "God Complex." If people aren't worshipped as gods the second they walk through the door of any business, then employees should be fired and free product showered down from the skies. That's right; should something happen that offends them, nothing less than the unemployment line for the offending employee will satisfy. If someone loses their cool and tells you to "Shut up," you respond by demanding that person's job. Should the employee have said that to you? No, of course not. Should he lose the ability to pay his bills and feed his family for it? Absolutely not. We are human beings. We have emotions, and we make mistakes. Get your heads out of your rear-ends and move on with life.
And while we're on the subject of pay, let's talk about the money issue. Many customer service employees work two jobs. Sometimes three. Why? Because we get paid next to nothing while the world is expected of us. Take my cashier job at Computer Galaxy, for example. For $7 an hour, we were expected to sell Product Replacement Plans, Training Classes, Tech Services, Unmatched (Another phone/training service), Computer Galaxy Credit Cards, Add-on products, and internet services. The phrase "Ask Every Customer" was pounded into our heads multiple times daily. Our numbers were closely monitored, and we were ripped in half when we didn't reach our goals. And don't be so foolish as to think that we were given commissions or spiffs for those things. For a short time, commissions were a part of the Computer Galaxy pay structure, but they were so small it was laughable (we're talking $10 for meeting your goals for a week), and they didn't apply to cashiers anyway. So, given all of that, how enthusiastic and happy can you really expect an employee to be?
Office Supply Land was the same way. The only "technicians" they hired while I worked there were recent high school graduates who were not certified. Why no certification? So they could pay them $8.00 per hour, of course. Honestly - what kind of quality tech work can you expect from that kind of employee?
Then we have to face the ramifications of all that. We ask every customer to buy every service we offer because our bosses demand that we do it. So, of course, every customer gets angry that we're badgering them to spend more money. They see us as money hungry employees trying to squeeze every last penny. In reality, we're just trying to keep our jobs. And when our inexperienced "technician" screws up your computer because the company wouldn't put out the money for a real tech, the customer service reps have to take the heat from the customer for it.
We're getting paid like crap to pretend we care while you scream at us for something we didn't do, had no power to stop, and have very little power to fix.
Customers don't seem to grasp any of this. The phrase "The customer is always right" seems to have brainwashed people into thinking that they should get their way no matter how absurd their demands are. And as you will see from the stories in this book, they can get QUITE absurd. I read online about a woman who got angry because an employee tried to stop her from cutting ahead of a line of people waiting to have their receipts checked. The employee grabbed the woman's purse to try to hold her back. Now, I'll be the first to say that the employee had no right to act the way that he/she did, but at the same time, this lady really thought she was justified in cutting ahead of everyone else who had been waiting because she only had one item and was, as she put it, "in a hurry." How does that make you more important than other people? The whole thing could've been avoided if she hadn't thought she was better than everyone else.
Then there was the story of the customer who tried to use a taser on a Cheeseburger Champion employee who got their order wrong. How about the woman who called a technical radio show to get help stealing her neighbor's Wi-Fi connection? People just don't understand how ridiculous their behavior can be or the hassle we go through in dealing with them, yet they expect us as service people to always be happy and enthusiastic.
You want good service? Here's the one and only tip you'll need: You know how you expect us to treat you when you walk into our store or call our company?
Treat us the same way.
I promise you'll have more good experiences than bad that way. Don't get me wrong, there are lots of lazy and uncaring employees out there who don't give a damn whether you're polite or not. But for the most part, you'll get a far more pleasant experience with an understanding and friendly attitude than you ever will with anger and threats. Just keep in mind that sometimes, no matter what you do, you won't be getting your way.
Because the truth is that the customer is not always right.
retail ramblings
by: Kevin Domenic
You Didn't See That
Today, as I'm returning from lunch, I'm walking up aisle 1 toward the front of the store. I pass a woman near the paper and I hear a distinct tearing sound. A quick glance reveals that she's ripping open the top corner of the package and yanking a page out through the two inch hole she's created to feel how thick it is. Mind you, she's not just opening the package from the top seal, she's tearing a hole out of the thing.
So I walk over and say, "Ma'am?"
She looks at me, her eyes get wide, and the inevitable words spill from her mouth. "This was opened already."
I could have argued that I had watched her open it because I had, but people seem to think the phrase "The Customer is Always Right" gives them the right to say and do whatever they please. Instead, I showed her where we have paper samples lined up on the shelf not five feet away where she could have felt the thickness and examined the differences in brightness levels. She thanked me and I went on my way, wondering if she really thought that the employees of the store don't walk the aisles enough to have a good idea of what's already open and what isn't. Generally, we take open product off the shelves when we find it.
A few minutes later I saw her waiting to check out up front. In her arms she held a package of the same type of paper she had ripped open.
Of course, the one she was buying was unopened. Go figure.
Shopping Tip of the Day: The customer is NOT always right.
Wait Your Turn
So I had a woman who wanted to know if we could order something online for her. No problem there. I took her over to the computer and searched on the website for the item she wanted. While I was with her, this rude lady comes up on the other side of me and just starts talking while my customer was in mid sentence.
"Do you work the computers?"
"Yes, I know a bit about them," I told her, scrolling through the list on the website.
The woman starts getting huffy, presumably because I'm still paying attention to the customer I was already with. "Well, do these go online?"
I glanced at her and saw that she was pointing to the laptops on display. "Yes, they do."
She looks at me with this arrogant sneer and demands, "Well, what's the password?"
I wanted to look at her and say, "Ma'am, this is a retail store, not an internet cafe. We don't just hand out the passwords. Every time we leave a customer unsupervised on one of our demos, we wind up finding various downloads, pictures, viruses, random programs, and most often, Limewire installed. Why people do this, I have no idea, but it happens quite frequently. We'd like to keep our laptops in working condition so that when actual purchasing customers want to see how they work, we have a WORKING demo to show."
Of course, saying that would've offended the almighty customer. Meanwhile, I didn't want to make the woman I'd already been helping wait any longer. "As soon as I finish with my customer, I'll be happy to come over and help you with laptops."
She looked at me as if I'd told her to eat a plate of cat vomit, but she quietly walked over and waited by the laptops. I found the product my customer had been looking for online, but our website was out of stock. I offered to check the surrounding stores to see if any of them had it in stock, but to do that, I had to take my customer to the computer in the rear of the store.
I barely turned to lead us back there before hearing, "OVER HERE!" and seeing the impatient laptop lady waving her hand frantically in the air. I pretended not to notice and proceeded to the back.
I realize many people are in a hurry, but that doesn't make them any more important than anyone else. Yes, the argument could be made that we should have more people on the floor to help customers, but that's a complaint to take up with the corporate office. We don't decide on our payroll limits and we get chewed out if we go even an hour over. We do the best we can with what we're given.
Shopping Tip of the Day: The word is "debit." Not "devit." (You might be surprised how many people don't know that.)
Sweet Justice
Most retail employees are taught to look for certain signs of dishonesty when working with customers. Whether people want to accept it or not, a large portion of the customer population is exceedingly dishonest. We have to be on our guard at all times or everyone would just walk out the front door with whatever products the could carry. As it is, a lot of people do that anyway.
If a customer comes in to make a large purchase, that should be enough to grab the employee's attention. Don't get me wrong, that doesn't mean that we automatically think that anyone who makes a large purchase is a crook. It just means that extra security measures should be taken.
But there's one quite obvious red flag that often comes up during the sale process. When a customer says "Yes" to everything that is offered to them, one might expect the salesman to be excited. Instead, that salesman should be thinking "Wait a minute, something isn't right here." That's what happened on this day.
I was doing inventory counts and chatting with our sales manager in the laptop lockup. Our salesman, Steve, entered to ask the manager to come speak to his customer. "She seems weird," Steve says. "She said yes to everything without question. Sometimes I'd still be explaining what the product does and she'd cut me off to say yes."
At that time, loss prevention was my job. So my ears perked up. "You think she's got a stolen check or credit card or something?"
"I don't know," he told me. "It just doesn't seem right."
The manager heads for the door. "Go up front and tell the cashiers to check her ID when she comes up," he said to Steve. "I'll go talk to her. Just show me where she is."
While they headed off, I went up to the front of the store and grabbed a post-it and a pen. Many times when someone comes to use a false method of payment, they'll have an accomplice waiting outside in a running car in case the need for escape arises. So I figured I'd go outside and take a look around.
Right away, I noticed a man in dark clothes standing near the far corner of the building. He didn't look at me, but he was looking around the way someone does when they're waiting for something or someone. To make it look like I had something important to do, I started collecting shopping carts from the parking lot. Within a minute or so, a woman in a pink coat with very red hair came out and spoke with him. He looked frustrated as they argued quietly for a moment or two. When they were done, she went back inside and he got into one of the cars lined up beside the store. On the off chance that she was Steve's customer, I brought all the carts to the front door and left them there while I went to check the mailbox. For whatever reason, the store had one of those old red-flag mailboxes at the side of the highway. So I had to cross that side of the parking lot to get there. Once there, I opened it, put my hands inside with pen and post-it, and wrote down the license plate number and the model, make, and color of the car. Then I went back and shoved the line of shopping carts inside.
Of course, there's the red-haired customer, standing up front at the register. Steve was beside her, and the sales manager was on the other side of the counter with the cashier. I made myself look busy nearby while I listened in on the conversation.
"I left my license in my car," red-head was saying. "Do you really need it?"
"With larger sales, we need to verify ID," the manager was saying.
"I can try to call my boyfriend and ask him to bring it in," she says. Uh... Why can't you just go out and get it?
"That's fine," the manager told her. "We can hold your purchase here until he comes."
She looks unusually nervous and almost looks like she's going to start wringing her hands and crying. Finally, she gets on her cell phone and has the conversation we all expected would happen. "What?...No...I don't know, they said they need to see it...I know. I know! Well what should I do?" And when she finally got off the phone, she mustered up some fake anger (Bad actors make bad liars) and said, "He says it's not in the car. We're going to have to come back."
Yep. Sure. We'll be waiting. And waiting.
I put the post-it on the sales manager's desk and forgot about it. Of course, she didn't come back.
But the next day, another man came in and asked for the manager. He was in plain black clothes but had a walkie-talkie latched to his belt. The sales manager wasn't in at that point, so he was directed to the general manager. A short while later, the general manager comes up to me with the man in tow. "This is Officer Bradley. He's been trying to track down a couple of credit card thieves that went up and down the highway making fraudulent purchases yesterday. Did anyone come through here yesterday that might have seemed suspicious?"
Of course, my eyes get wide. "There was a lady that Steve thought were suspicious."
"Red head?" the officer asks. "Tall girl with a pink coat?"
"Yes!" I told him. "That's her!"
The cop nods. "Yeah, she hit Great Buy yesterday for a couple thousand dollars."
I went ahead and explained the story - everything from Steve's suspicions to the guy waiting outside. Steve also happened to be working that day, so I had him talk with the officer in my office while I went to find the post-it. The sales manager didn't exactly keep his desk all that organized, but I eventually found it under a pile of papers. When I returned, the cop called-in the plate number while Steve and I wrote official statements detailing everything that had happened. I don't know if I was supposed to hear it or not, but when the response came back on the officer's radio, I heard the address registered with the vehicle.
And it was only a couple of blocks from my house.
Anyway, the officer took our statements and thanked us. He said he was excited to catch these people because the credit card they'd stolen actually belonged to an old friend of his - a retired police officer.
In the weeks following the incident, I didn't hear anything about the thieves. Then again, I hadn't EXPECTED to hear anything - I mean, the cops have better things to do than update each random person they encounter during their investigations. But eventually, a letter addressed to me was delivered to the store. It was from the county courthouse.
I was nervous because I had no idea why the county courts would be contacting me at my job. But when I read the letter, I was surprised to see that it was a notice that the credit card thieves had been arrested and we set to go before a judge. The letter stated that it wasn't necessary for me to appear in court but the law required that all those involved be kept up to date on the details of the case. They'd be able to tell me whether or not I'd need to appear in court after the suspects entered their pleas at a later date.
Weeks later, I got another letter.
They pled guilty.
That made me feel great because the officer had no real leads other than a vague description of the woman when he first entered our store. But when he left, he had a better description of both the man and the woman, knew exactly where they lived and what car they drove. Our information led to both the arrests and convictions of two criminals, they'd be held responsible for the retired officer's bogus credit card charges.
Shopping Tip of the Day: Don't underestimate the intelligence of retail store employees. We may not look like the brightest bulbs in the box, but we see a lot more of what goes on around us than you may thing. Yes, some of you crooks will get away with your schemes.
But some of you won't.
Why risk being part of the unlucky crowd?
The Model Parent
You've no doubt experienced it before. You're in a store somewhere trying to shop for groceries or clothes or supplies or whatever, and there is a gang of children nearby wreaking havoc on the aisle and anyone or anything in their path. You wait for a moment figuring that any second a mother or father will appear to admonish them with warnings of spankings or denial of special treats. But alas, no one comes, and the hurricane of brats wrecks the store and your shopping experience. They're just kids, some will say. They're just having fun - they mean no harm.
But as the old saying goes, it's all fun and games until someone gets hurt.
I wasn't present for the story I'm going to write here, although I've certainly seen plenty of out-of-control children during my years in retail. I remember years ago there was a small boy playing the video game display at my last job, jumping around and screaming and laughing at the game while his mother was nowhere to be seen. Next thing we know - CRASH. The display comes toppling down on top of him, and of course, the mother comes running from six aisles away while yelling about how we don't keep our store safe for children. He was OK when all was said and done, but it was yet another example of how some parents seem to care less and less about watching after their kids these days.
Anyway, on to today's story. Again, I wasn't there for it, but I've heard the story from four different people now, and each version has been pretty much the same.
Two days ago, there was a group of unsupervised children playing in our furniture area. Suddenly there is a crash and a scream, followed by a yowling cry that shoots up one of the aisles to the front of the store. A child emerges just in front of the printing area, screaming for his mommy, holding the back of his head. On the floor is a growing pool of blood that trails all the way back down the aisle and into the furniture section. From what I'm told, it looked like a murder scene.
The child's mother appears from aisle 1 - the complete opposite side of the store. Then her sister emerges from aisle 2. Of course, they scream and panic at seeing the boy. The manager on duty directs them to head to the bathroom in the back of the store then proceeds to call 911. While waiting for the ambulance to arrive, he runs back to our freezer in the break room and gets some ice for the child. When the paramedics finally arrive, the mother is holding her son in her lap in the middle of the men's bathroom with the door propped open. The other children, in the meantime, are playing around in our warehouse. As they work on him, she begins to feel dizzy, hands the boy off to her sister, and promptly passes out. Now the paramedics stop working on the boy and get to work on reviving the mother.
Once things are handled as best as can be handled and the mother is conscious again, she refuses to be taken to the hospital. She even went so far as to sign a paper stating that she was refusing to go. Our people document the incident and the manager ropes off the blood-filled aisles so that they can be properly cleaned.
Witnesses reported seeing the children jumping up and down on the desks and chairs, and allegedly the boy jumped off of the back of a chair and smacked the back of his head against the edge of a desk.
If the woman had kept a closer eye on her children and perhaps taught them to keep near to her when shopping, this kind of thing likely wouldn't have happened. I'm not saying all parents are like this, but more and more these days people are too wrapped up in their cell phones or shopping to give their children the attention and discipline they need.
Shopping Tip of the Day: When making a credit card purchase, if you've finished signing your name on the digital pad and the two button choices are "Done" and "Clear," you want the one marked "Done."
The Pirate's Motto
During Back to School season, our store runs a special event for teachers where they can get a free bag of assorted school supplies along with some extra discounts on all products. This event is usually scheduled for a Saturday morning, and this year it was on August 22nd. We had signs near the front door with the date and times written in black marker so that everyone would know when the event was scheduled. The signs were posted for a good while ahead of the date.
Needless to say, we had a lady come in today expecting to get the benefits from the teacher's event that had been held last Saturday.
One of our cashiers called me over to his register to handle the issue. I explained that the discounts were no longer valid as it was a limited time program. She insisted that the event was supposed to be TODAY and that she was entitled to the benefits we advertised. Our conversation went something like this:
Me: "I'm sorry, but that event was held last Saturday morning. We had signs up ahead of time notifying our customers of the correct date."
Customer: "Nah, they told me it was gonna be on three dates and one of them was today."
Me: "Who told you that?"
Customer: "Yeah! They said it was gonna be on the 20th, 22nd, and 27th!"
Me: "Ok, who said that to you? One of our people?"
Customer (Getting irritated): "No, they told me- I know they told me it was the 27th!"
Me: "No, it was actually held on the 22nd. I'm sorry, but unfortunately we don't have those discounts available right now."
At this point, I talked with our general manager to see if there was anything that could be done. She told me that she'd speak with the woman, so that's what I told the customer. Then I went to count one of the registers and make change. While I was working on that, the phone beside me rang and the display indicated the call was coming from the managers office. I picked up and our general manager informed me that she'd located a spare bag of the free supplies that had been handed out to teachers on Saturday and that she'd be happy to give that to the customer in an attempt to smooth things over. We were in no way obligated to do this, mind you, but we try to make people happy if we can.
So we give the bag to the lady and she goes back to shopping. I finish counting out the register and take over ringing while waiting for our night shift to arrive. A short while later, the woman comes up with a basket full of school supplies, her son tailing behind. I started scanning her stuff, and she says, "So is there any way I can get the discounts from the teacher's event?"
Now, we'd given her the bag when we really didn't have to. But the discounts were handled through our rewards program, not through the store itself. Teachers were entitled to an increased amount of rewards for the purchases they made during the event. Those numbers went through the rewards center, not us. We had absolutely no way to make those kinds of adjustments ourselves. "I'm sorry," I told her, "but that sale was for Saturday morning only. I have no way of adjusting rewards percentages in our computer."
I'm halfway through scanning the basket of stuff with a line formed behind her and she says, "You know what? I'll just go to CheapMart. They're cheaper than you."
And without another word, she walks out.
With her free bag of stuff.
It reminded me of the Pirate motto: "Take all you can. Give nothing back."
Shopping Tip of the Day: Have some courtesy for the people behind you in line. If you've got a dozen coupons or you have to write a check for $2.85, have the decency to apologize to the people waiting behind you. Because nine times out of ten, people blame the cashier for your lack of speed.
Less Than a Quarter
As a part of the Back to School sales, we currently have a Buy 1 and Get 2 Free special running on a number of different items. One of them is a pencil box which normally sells for $1.99. This morning, my cashier calls me over to tell me that the box had been marked at $1.79 on the shelf and that a customer was complaining that she was being charged $1.99. Now, I completely understand it when customers want to get the shelf price when there's a significant difference, but for 20 measly cents? I had to struggle not to pull a dollar outta my pocket and tell them to keep the change. But whatever - it's an old tag that we missed when doing the weekly price updates, so it's our fault. I told the cashier to change the price.
But there was a problem. The customer was getting the buy 1 get 2 free promotion, and the stupid cash register saw that as an "overriding discount" which automatically removed the 20 cent price drop. In effect, every time I told it to charge $1.79 instead of $1.99, it would automatically raise it back to $1.99. No big deal, though, because the customer was also purchasing two folders at 99 cents each. So I just adjusted them to 89 cents each. Bingo - 20 cent discount. We did all this right in front of the customer.
I walk away thinking everything is fine and that it's over and done with. I help a couple other people and pretty soon my cashier calls me for change. But as I'm heading for the cash office, I see the customer at the copy center talking with the general manager and pointing at her receipt with this confused look on her face. I went over to let our manager know what was going on, figuring that the woman had ignored everything we told her earlier since the receipt still showed the pencil box at $1.99.
As it turns out, she wasn't complaining about that, she was questioning why we'd taken 20 cents off of the folders. I told her it was to compensate for the different price that had been on the shelf for the pencil box. She says, "Oh, OK. I wasn't sure," and takes her receipt and leaves.
I can only come to two possible conclusions. Either she has short term memory problems and simply didn't remember what went on at the register not ten minutes earlier, or she was going to try to scam our general manager into giving her another 20 cents back since the receipt still showed $1.99. Either way, it seemed like a lot of effort to go through over a couple lousy dimes. I realize times are tough for many people financially, but 20 cents? That won't even get you a game of pinball.
Later in the day, I had a guy come up to the register to make a purchase. He pulls out his card and I asked, "Debit or Credit?" If it's debit, he can process it himself. If it's credit, I need to see the card. He says, "Debit." I told him to swipe, the number pad comes up for his pin, and he says, "I don't know the pin," and just stares at me.
I got the feeling he expected me to put some kind of override code in or something. "No problem, Sir. I'll just put in my universal debit pin for you."
I told him he'd have to run it as a credit card then. He kinda rolls his eyes but goes with it.
It's funny, I thought debit cards were supposed to make purchasing easier. I can't imagine what difficulty he might have had if all he was carrying was a check.
Shopping Tip of the Day: The following are examples of proper ways to ask for assistance:
-"Excuse me, are you busy at the moment?"
-"Hi, I was hoping you'd be able to answer a couple of questions."
-"Excuse me, could you show me where I might find this item?"
-"Hello, can you help me?"
These greetings and any similar ones will greatly increase your chances of receiving friendly and helpful assistance.
The following are examples of improper ways ask for assistance:
-Whistling
-Snapping of fingers
-Waving
-Shouting across the aisle/store
-Standing in the middle of the aisle/store and yelling, "Does anybody work here?"
-Any commands or demanding sentences such as, "Get me this," or "Come here."
-"You don't look like you're doing anything, maybe you can help me."
-"You look like you need something to do."
The first four of these will get you ignored in nearly 95% of instances. The last four or any similar statements will land you a reluctant, annoyed, and relatively uninterested assistance.
And Make it Snappy!
Today a woman called me over to help her buy a laptop. I hate selling computers simply because there is so much pressure on us from corporate to get as many add-on sales (preferably services, of course) as we can despite the fact that we make no commission and no amount we sell is ever enough to please them. On top of that, customers who purchase computers seem to think that they're doing us some sort of favor simply by spending $400 in our store. Little do they know that the laptop they purchased for $400 cost us $500 to buy from the manufacturer. It's a sad but true fact of being a computer retailer these days. Every company has cut computer prices to below cost in order to attract consumers. The strategy is to make up that lost $100 and MORE by selling warranty plans, setup services, accessories, software, etc.
Problem is, most people don't want any of that crap. They want to buy just the computer and expect us to kiss their feet for making such an "expensive" purchase even though our financial bottom line would be better off if they didn't.
To be fair, I am a supporter of store extended service plans in most cases. I got my original Xbox replaced twice and my old Aiwa stereo was repaired three times. Having a plan like that on a laptop is a great idea because a high percentage of laptop repairs come down to replacing the motherboard which is a hassle and can be expensive (not always, but it can be). The only problem is that laptop warranty plans can be upwards of a third of the price of the computer itself. The reason for this is that most of these plans include a one-time screen replacement option which is quite expensive for us to cover. So in the end, it's a hard sell, but to me, it's worth it. People can be as careful as they want with their stuff, but accidents happen. And then they're stuck with either buying a new one, paying expensive repair bills, or being one of those customers that tries to return it 6 months later claiming they were never told about a warranty option and that any other store would return it for them (I've heard that excuse hundreds of times, and I'm quite aware of how untrue it is).
Anyway...
So I go over to the computers to help this lady. As we're walking, she says that we have the lowest price she's found on this laptop so we get major points with her for that. Inside, I'm shrugging and saying "Whatever." But outside, of course, I thanked her for shopping with us. She shows me what she wants and I told her I'd go look to see if it was in stock. When I came back and told her we had it, she goes, "Good. Wrap it up and bring it up front." No smile, very stern voice. Kinda pissed me off a little, but whatever. Now I gotta try and get her to buy a warranty.
I nod with a phony smile. "OK, that's fine, but--"
"Don't ask me anything about warranties. Just wrap it up and bring it up front."
Ok, now I'm annoyed. Still, I have to act polite. "Are you sure? You'd be surprised--" I was going to tell her that she'd be surprised how many people bring laptops in for service and that it costs them $70 just for us to look at it, but she cut me off before I could get that far.
"You know how long I've had my current computer? Fifteen years, and I've never had a problem with it. And you see this?" she asks, pointing at the price of the computer she's buying. "This machine is already outdated for the price you're selling it for."
A hundred nasty comments fill up in my thought bubble above my head, but thankfully, she couldn't see them. The computer was outdated for the price? Two minutes ago she was applauding us for our price! If only she knew that selling it to her at that price did nothing but HURT our store and company! As for having her old computer for 15 years, that may be possible, but I highly doubt she's never had a problem with it.
I'm not faking a smile for her anymore. "Ma'am, they really don't make computers the way they used to." And they don't, that's the truth. Strikes one, two, and three all go to the operating system while cheap hardware and shoddy motherboards supply the rest of the outs for the inning. OK, strange analogy, but you get the idea.
"I'll be fine. Wrap it up and bring it up front."
I said it in my last post, and I'll say it again. Don't ever command a retail employee to do anything. It's insulting, rude, and unnecessary. None of us, from the stockers to the managers, get paid enough to put up with that kind of abuse, nor do we deserve it. Even if you're dealing with someone who honestly doesn't care about their job or servicing you, then simply leave and find a better place to shop. Commands are for dogs and computers, not people.
Without a word, I turned and headed back to our lockup. She clearly knew I was upset with her, as she asked, "Are you all right?" with this sarcastic tone as if to say, "What the hell is your problem?"
I just lifted my hands up and said, "Whatever you'd like to do is fine."
She apologized for being rude. Unfortunately, it sounded similar to the way an eight year old brother apologizes to his sister for calling her a nasty name. Insincere, forced, and uncaring. Whatever, customers will be customers, I guess.
I had one of our salespeople finish up the sale while I jumped on register to help with the lines since the front end is really my responsibility anyway. It wasn't the woman's refusal to buy the warranty that pissed me off, it was the arrogant, snotty, and downright rude attitude that she had. I really wished I could've told her we didn't need her sale.
Because quite frankly, we didn't.
Shopping Tip of the Day: If you're going to pull a wrinkled and crumpled check from your pocket and attempt to pay with it, expect it to get jammed in our check scanner. Expect it to get jammed again when we reinsert it for printing. And don't get angry with us in either case. There's no "Eat Check" button that we press in order to make it happen.
Common Courtesy
While making way to the front of the store, I came across a large soda spill in between two of the back to school displays. One of the other employees was already working on mopping it up, so I thought nothing of it and continued on my way. Later in the day, when I walked past that same area again, I saw that the mop had mixed the soda with the dirt on the floor to leave a large stain of sticky black swirls across the tiles. I had been cleaning the front registers with Clorox wipes at the time, so immediately I thought they would do a good job cleaning the floor. I also knew we had a Swiffer in one of the offices, so I grabbed that, wrapped the Clorox wipes around the head, and ran it across the floor.
The stain came up relatively easily. That is, the small section of the stain I could get to. Since it was between two of the back to school displays and that's what most people are coming in to shop for, customers were making it difficult for me to get to the whole thing. I mean, I understood that the people who were already there had a right to finish shopping without me pushing them out of the way. I waited for those who were already there to clear out, then went to work on the floor. It was maybe a 5 foot section, nothing too big. You'd think that new customers would've seen me cleaning the mess and thought, "Hey, let's stand back a minute and let him finish." After all, a minute is about all it would've taken. But nope, they trampled their way right in, walking all over the dirty parts and tracking footprints onto the small section I'd already been able to clean. I tried to work around them, but they nearly stepped on the Swiffer a couple of times. There was no way they hadn't noticed or seen what I was trying to do - I was less than two feet away from them! But no, they're customers, so their shopping is more important than any amount of courtesy.
Gotta love the "I want what I want and I want it NOW!" mentality of society these days.
Shopping Tip of the Day: No, I don't speak Spanish. And I have no intention of learning, either.
That's OK, No One Else is Waiting
During back to school, it's normal for our registers to be backed up with long lines. And because we're severely understaffed due to payroll limits, it's not uncommon for me to find myself as the secondary cashier for the majority of the day.
So I'm ringing up customers and have a long line backed up (as all the registers did) and these two young girls come up and drop several items on the counter. They couldn't have been more than 12. This isn't uncommon - parents send their kids up front with money quite often. One of them is on the cell phone speaking a language I don't recognize, and the other is jabbering in her other ear. I scan and bag all their stuff and tell them the total. It was around $25. Neither one of them acknowledges me for a moment as the one girl keeps babbling into the cell phone. Again, I tell her the total. After a moment, she gets off the phone and says, "Yeah, she's coming with the rest of the money," and points out the front window.
My first instinct was to throw their stuff off the counter and move on to the next customer. Of course, I can't do that. I look to the parking lot and see no one coming, and the thought crosses my mind that it wasn't someone IN the lot they were waiting for. It could've very well been someone who dropped the kids off to do the shopping and was coming back for them. But after a few moments I see a woman headed toward the store. There was no indication that she was who they were waiting for, but I figured if she wasn't I'd tell the girls they'd have to wait and get back on line. Of course, the long line of customers is staring at me expectantly because obviously it was my fault that these girls waited in line, had me ring up their junk, and didn't have the money to pay.
Thankfully, it was the woman they were waiting for. She comes in and gives me a nasty look with a mumbled apology. I figure she'll just pay and they'll be on their way, but silly me, I expected too much consideration out of a customer.
Instead, she starts slowing pulling every item out of the bags and arguing with the girls over each one. And it all goes on in their foreign language, so I have no indication of how long any of this is going to last. And still, the line of customers waits. Then the lady pulls out an item and tells me to take it off the sale. Fine, done. They go back to arguing. Another item off. More arguing. Customers are tapping their feet, huffing and puffing, staring at their watches, looking to the other registers, and some are leaving. Then the lady pulls out a five-pack of white-out tape.
"How much was this?"
"$11.49," I tell her. Hey, I don't set our prices.
"No, at your other store two days ago it was $4.99."
I look at the girls. "What did it say on the shelf?"
They don't answer. Instead, they go back to babbling to who I presume is their mother in their language. The mom looks at me again. "No, it was supposed to be $4.99."
"Ma'am, there are any number of reasons why it might have been a different price at the other location. My guess is that they forgot to remove an old sale tag. But the item scans up here at $11.49, and unless it says something different on the shelf, that's the price."
More arguing amongst the family. The mother starts going through the bag again. At this point, I'm just about ready to tell them to get out of line if they're not done shopping. But the lady finally shoots me an evil glare and hands over the cash.
There are few things that bug me more than when people come up to the register, wait in line, but still aren't finished shopping. Then they expect you to wait while they go get the rest of what they want - and many take their time strolling through the aisles. On more than one occasion, I've had people come back to the register ten minutes later to find that their sales have been voided and their products pushed to the side.
And they look at me in surprise like, "But I was here first!"
Shopping Tip of the Day: If I ask to see your credit card for security verification purposes and you refuse, don't look surprised when your sale is declined.
Uh... What?
Short and sweet today.
A guy comes up to the front with a lamination machine and says in a heavy accent, "Can you tell me how much is machine? I cannot find price anywhere on shelf."
I scan the box and it comes up at $62.99. "This one is $62.99, Sir."
He shakes his head. "No, on shelf it says $49.99."
...What?
Shopping Tip of the Day: Most people don't seem to know this, so I'll explain it here. The "Telephone Operator" position was eliminated from most retail stores long ago. When you call a store, you're most often getting the Customer Service cashier. And in some cases, that cashier just might be the only cashier working that shift. That means that the person you're talking to on the phone more than likely has at least two or three customers right in front of them that they're trying to ring up while talking to you. And, of course, those customers are getting angry that the cashier is too busy talking on the phone to help them. So if you call a store and the person on the other end sounds distracted or uninterested, there's a good chance they've just got too much going on at once.
Here are some simple tips to help make calling a store easier for everyone:
1: Start by asking for the department you want. If you have a question about a bicycle, ask for someone who knows about bikes.
2: Keep it simple. When you do get transferred to the proper department, the person who answers will likely also have customers waiting on him. Don't give him the history of how you learned to ride a bike or tell him your whole story of what made you purchase your latest one. Just get to the point. "My bike chain broke. Do you sell replacements?" Easy enough.
3: Don't shop by phone. If you want to know if something is in stock or if they have a large selection to choose from, that's fine. But don't expect the person on the phone to sit there and compare the features of each model with you. If you have that many questions, come into the store and see for yourself. It's a general rule of retail that the customers who got off their butts to come into the store are considered more important that those on the phone.
4: Don't get too technical. Unless you're calling a store that specializes in one particular type of product (a bicycle store, for example), don't expect the person on the other end to know all the technical terms of each component or the specifications for every random product they sell. Remember, if we knew all the technical information about these products, we'd be putting that knowledge to use to get higher paying jobs than retail sales.
5: Don't complain. We've got customers in the store to take care of. We can't exactly ignore them, but we can easily put you on hold and never come back to the phone. We have customers who actually came into the store to spend money. Of course we'd rather handle them instead of listening to you blame us for not mentioning that shredders weren't designed to shred license plates.
6: Call the right people. If you have an HP printer that won't turn on and it is within the return policy or you bought the extended warranty, call the store. If you have an HP printer that is outside the return policy and you didn't purchase the extended warranty, call HP.
And there you have it. The bottom line is that if you call a store, you're not going to get dedicated assistance because that kind of a position just doesn't exist in most places anymore. If you're on the phone, you're second to the customers who are in the store.
Thus ends the longest tip of the day ever.
No More Registers
With back to school, we generally have had large masses of people just crowding around the registers. To fix this, we moved some displays and organized everyone into one long line to cut down on the confusion. Additionally, we finally convinced corporate to send a technician to fix our fourth register - a register that hasn't really worked in the two years I've worked there. That meant that for the first time today, we actually had all four registers working along with the register in the copy department.
So I'm directing the line, and I'm explaining to people that we're doing one line and just sending the next person to each register as they open up. Of course, someone else thinks they have a better idea. This old guy rolls his eyes and says, "You need to get more service people up there."
For a second I was confused. Did one of the cashiers walk away without my noticing? I looked up front, but all four registers were still manned, each one ringing someone up. "Sir, every register we have is open and taking customers."
He rolls his eyes at me and huffs and puffs a bit as if to say, "Yeah, sure."
I got the feeling he wanted me to say, "Of course, Sir. Let me just build a couple more registers real quick and you'll be all set to go."