Remember…in your dreams?
by
Alejandro Canton-Dutari
* * *
PUBLISHED BY:
Alejandro Canton-Dutari
SMASHWORDS EDITION
Remember…in your dreams?
Copyright © 2010 by Alejandro Canton-Dutari
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Dedication
To all grandparents who have shared memories with their grandchildren
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Acknowledgements
Letras de Fuego, Panamanian writers’ guild
Kathryn Ann Novich, my Facebook friend, who poured her heart in helping me re-create this short novel from its almost original Spanish language.
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Table of Contents
About Praying… Even with Wheels
Disabilities, Stubbornness and Recovery
Soccer World Cup and Lullabies
First Haircut and Superstitions
Learning for Life… Not for School
***
Hi
I met you yesterday and found out that you’re a tiny little thing. You’re fifty centimeters long and weighed almost eight pounds, which is quite above the national average in your country. Your hair stands up like reeds and I remembered that the same was said about me. That only guarantees that it will be very straight throughout your life. And I hope you keep it for all your lifetime. Your grandfather is almost seventy and he might never be bald.
In this patch of earth named Panama the first thing that is done by many when a baby is born is to check his balls. The darker they are the darker the body’s color as age starts setting in. According to this you will be slightly tanned. That will make you a good candidate for modeling if your eyelashes grow as long as the men in our family and if you don’t end up as short as my maternal grandfather.
But, the important thing is that you have arrived. And grandma isn’t here, but I shall tell you about her because I want her to be someone important in your life, as she was in mine.
So far, you’ve been with us for twenty hours already and you’ve had a great time: eating, sleeping and other essential things. And it’s what you are supposed to do for the coming months. Though, later on, centering too much of these activities might get you into trouble. But, in the meantime, enjoy.
***
Dimples and Breasts
I remember that when grandmother was waiting for the nurse to bring you to her room in the hospital something funny happened. A nurse’s aid entered pushing a big table with divisions each one holding about ten topless cubicles each one with a newborn baby in it. As soon as she spotted your dad pointed a finger while saying: “I want that one.” And I could tell a few seconds after that it was in fact my second son. This took a bit longer for me because I didn’t know who you looked like. Though a few seconds ago you sort of smiled and a little dimple appeared, just like your mother and your brother.
I was also looking at the little sheets placed close to your crib. I recognized some that your grandmother had sewn for your dad and uncles. It’s obvious that she had saved them and given to your mother before leaving. But I was not saddened by them because I feel my wife’s presence in such a work of art.
Watching your mom breastfeed, you added to the novelties because your grandmother couldn’t do it with her children. She had been working and in those times the whole process of pumping milk to keep in the refrigerator was not popular. She always regretted this. You, on the other hand, have a full-time breast.
You will be more protected from baby diseases than many or, as your great-great-grandmother would say:
“My daughter is so healthy because she was breast fed until she was a year old.” She was referring to my mother.
***
Father’s Day and Such
I had not realized that Father’s Day is just around the bend. And on this occasion, your father shall receive two gifts: one probably done in school by your brother, and another that your mom will buy in your name.
Your grandma and I taught your dad that each child gives a gift to his father or mother on Mother’s Day or Father's Day. That meant that grandma would get something for her father, I would do it for mine, and each child would give me something. We didn’t have to go through the process of getting presents for all relatives who happened to be parents. But, as neither my wife nor I had fathers your grandmothers were the beneficiaries when we had our own family.
But we did try to inculcate that, in spite of all the hoopla about Father’s or Mother’s Day, every day should be honored as such. And for us, every day was Son’s Day.
There’s no Grandparent’s Day? Not fair
Well, someone said now there is, but not in our country.
***
A Tour Somewhere
I don’t know what time it was, but the truth is that I awoke perhaps after barely sleeping. And I spotted you sleeping in your crib rather ambiguously, like someone who is more awake than asleep because when I saw you from above you acknowledged me. And since I had gone to visit you, I decided that we could visit a bit of the country where you would probably live a long time.
Of course, if someone would see us he should be in for a shock, because it’s not every day you see an old man floating in the air carrying a baby in his arms. And more so if the person noticed that both had a silver cord coming out of their bellies. Grandpa’s could not be traced to its origin, but yours could be seen from my arms to your body in the crib. What happens is that most people don’t know much about astral traveling.
I decided to take you to the town where your grandmother was born. And in a short breath, we were floating above Santiago de Veraguas and floated straight to the Placita del Pueblo -- the heart of the town.
Your grandma never missed a town dance during the festivities of the Apostle Santiago. And, by the way, it was also the place where she went on her first teenage joyride when she took her dad’s car, a few supportive friends and ended up in a ditch because she really didn’t know how to drive. And we also went by the original site of Saint Vincent of Paul high school, and Dominion of Canada grammar school, which she both attended.
You must have liked the journey because even though you couldn’t say a word you did smile, or perhaps it was just a smiley twitch. But for your grandfather it was enough to see you pleased.
We went back home, and I put you in your crib while your silver cord found its place in your body. I floated back to my bed.
As you see, we now have our own special traveling vehicle. I can just imagine how it’s going to be when you start to talk.
Oh, what you will see shall remain in your memory, and it is quite possible that later on you’ll tell me something like “I’ve been here before.” This is what knowledgeable people call "déjà vu."
***
The Sky and Sea Cliff
It was complicated picking you up tonight. There was too much astral traffic. I’ve always wondered why people don’t complain about it. When you travel by plane, you follow a path assigned by traffic controllers; so, it is easy to imagine hundreds of highways in the sky, all running parallel while carrying mechanical monsters full of people. In our case there are no highways and if by any chance two travelers are going too fast they just go through each other. Then, you would feel a rather uncomfortable tingling.
There was also the inconvenience of my body’s health, which is going through a bout of influenza that is having its way with me. The main problem is that when I cough, the silver cord tugs suddenly, which tends to pull me back to myself in the bed. Less experienced people tend to lose control and suddenly awaken with a fright. But your grandfather is quite experienced in these matters and will not allow a cough to interrupt our spree.
Tonight I’m going to take you to Santa Clara, actually, to a beach called Sea Cliff, and the truth is that the sea can been seen right under an impressive cliff. As most of the beaches that are visited in Panama, this one is on the Pacific side. And your grandmother loved spending days by the sea side. Too bad we didn’t have the opportunity to do it as often as we would have liked. I used to work on week-ends, too.
Grandfather took the infant in his arms and glided through the window towards the Pan American Highway. He chose that route because it was familiar to him, and there was no risk of getting lost. Though he thought that he had never heard of anyone getting lost during astral traveling.
They spotted Sea Cliff from the black sky but the surface was completely clear. And they observed a rather arid geography from the highway to the beach. But as they reached the seaside, a small jungle of mango trees could be seen. There was a small spot with a few small houses called cabañas for rent.
“Look, there’s your grandmother in her green two-piece bathing suit. Beside her you can see an older lady that looks a bit like her. That’s your great-grandmother. They’re peeling plantains which will be fried for lunch. And the three kids playing baseball are your father and uncles. See the yellow station-wagon that just left? That’s me going to fetch some Cokes.
Maybe you’ll ask yourself, many years from now, why do you like the beach so much. I think that I brought you here so you could see the best place to make love.
***
Beaks and Bickering
This afternoon I was watching your older brother while he played around and your mother was feeding you. And I got a kick out of seeing how, deep down, he was trying to get her attention as you were the main show. And that gave me an idea. I’m going to take you to visit a family of birds which we raised at home when your grandmother was alive.
The good thing about this trip is that we won’t have to go anywhere. We just have to close our eyes, let me focus and, when we look down you shall see your grandmother checking the bird cages, their nests and the fledglings that may be there.
Abuelito- grandfather- took the child and both flew over the house and remained suspended for a while, allowing time to do its job of receding so both could watch another wonder of nature.
There were two walls facing each other and they held around twenty canary breeding cages. The grandfather approached the grandmother, who still was not a grandmother and with the baby in his arms, he saw her walk to a cage that held a pretty, yellow pair, and a nest with four featherless chicks. She seemed to be scolding one of the babies, but she was always smiling because it was a friendly stop to sibling bickering… “Don’t be greedy. Give your brothers a chance… Don’t eat it all.”
What happened was that the oldest of the breed would trample his brothers to get on top in order to reach his mother's beak when she arrived to feed them. At the same time, there was a teeny one that didn’t make much effort to join the battle. In fact, mother would not pay much attention to him because in nature the thing is to allow the fittest to survive, so she made sure to remain neutral.
But, watch what your grandmother is doing. She just took the baby out of the nest and is feeding him with some formula she’s made up. Usually this doesn’t work, but she’s got something that makes the weakling stronger and decide to put up a good fight to make the mother bird include him in her feeding.
Hey, I just noticed that you are more interested in the singing of the birds than in your grandmother’s doings and the baby chicks.
It’s quite possible that you will ask yourself why you like songbirds so much, though you may prefer to see them always free and not in a cage.
***
Pucker and Poop
I may have arrived to fetch you at the wrong hour, or perhaps the best time. It all depends on a Freudian interpretation or not. I’d rather not stir the psychological pot.
The important thing is that when I floated towards your crib, I found you making the funniest little face. But let us take advantage of our journey tonight so you may confirm what I observed.
Before we go I want to tell you how much I enjoy how grandparents, especially grandmothers, insist that they know that the newborn resembles a brother, aunt, uncle and so on. I have always said that it’s almost a spitting image of the baby in the neighboring crib. The truth is up ‘til now you looked like no one I’ve ever known. But, I just pointed out “until now.”
And once again the old man took his grandson in his arms and both flew on top of the roof and remained suspended over the house. As in prior occasions, they had to wait for time to do its thing before they could descend. All this because the scene they were about to see was to take place years ago in the same room.
They slid down and found the bedroom with a double bed where the parents slept by a small crib with a month old baby in it.
"Look, it’s your father." He was the biggest of our three sons. He was also the ham of the group and, as I commented before, your mom chose him once she spotted him among all the newborns at the hospital. Let’s watch him for a while because he is going to do something I saw you doing a while ago.
The baby remained still and, slowly, his little mouth started puckering, as if it were to kiss something. But a few seconds later the puckered lips parted a bit as if to whistle and kept “whistling” silently for some time. His mother was also watching until she said “he’s done."
Your dad also puckered his lips while pooping. And I saw you do the same thing. It was the only time I could assure that you did, in fact, resemble someone. Your dad.
***
Poneloya Beach
There is a beautiful beach resort very close to the city of Leon in the Pacific coast of Nicaragua. It is named Poneloya. And I have a very fond memory of a night spent over the sand in front of the sea.
What happens is that my family on my father’s side migrated from Nicaragua to Panama. Actually, they come from the Old World, but due to some vicissitudes of fate my father was born in Panama but went to live in Nicaragua, and returned after the great earthquake in the 1920s. They lost all their belongings, but the land remained to be disposed of in the future.
But tonight we shall do something different. You are too young for a long astral flight, but I do want you to share a memory with me.
Of course, your grandfather is full of surprises -- crazy, your grandmother would say. And, as an example, look at this crystal ball I brought from Nepal. We shall sit facing it as if we were watching TV. I shall look without blinking. At your age you can see through closed eyelids.
They remained floating in front of the crystal ball at the old man’s apartment until the sphere started to grow engulfing them slowly. Once inside they sighted a teenage boy, slender but not skinny, seated on the sand and gazing toward the sky. He was slowly joined by other youngsters that happened to be his cousins. Someone lit a bonfire, and out came marshmallows and wieners for snacks.
“Abuelito”, as you would call me in the future, tightened his embrace on his grandson to give himself some courage. It wasn’t easy to once more feel the emotion of watching the only total lunar eclipse he ever saw in his life.
He also spotted Milagros…. He fell for her as soon as they met. She didn’t give him the time of day. The crystal ball protected the baby from the cool night sea breeze which soon would be moonless. And both shared the warm feeling of watching the boy that stared at the disappearing moon, without sensing his own presence, from more than fifty years into the future.
Finally and very slowly, the sphere regained its normal size as grandfather and grandson found themselves in the apartment. From there they floated towards the crib where the baby stayed while grandfather slid back into his own body.
***
The Flu and the like
Don’t get too worked up about tonight. I had planned to take you to a very pretty place not far from here where your dad and uncles loved to play with their cousins when they were kids. You won’t be able to go by yourself for some time. Well, at least not without someone quite a bit older than you.
What happens is that I’ve got the flu. It seems that there’s a worldwide epidemic of some new variety of influenza, and Panama has its quota. And to top it your grandfather was included.
What bothers me the most is the coughing. Not that there’s any danger of you becoming infected by the damned retro-virus -- one of the advantages of astral camaraderie -- but the trip may become a bumpy ride.
Just imagine that in the middle of the flight my body starts to cough and the silver chord gets tugged trying to pull me back. If it succeeds you would be left dangling in the air by yourself.
Nothing bad would happen to you because your own body would pull you down, but you would awaken very frightened and probably crying. I don’t want to risk that happening to you. So, we shall just enjoy each other’s presence. You asleep in your crib and me floating at your side.
***
The Silence of Noise
Not everything is full of mystery between your grandfather and you. Of course, some things are easier done under the protection of darkness and stars. Others can take place under full daylight, but in a rather discreet fashion… Adults don’t always understand the interactions of grandfathers and grandsons.
For example, this afternoon I went to visit you and I noticed that you were not quite asleep, but you were not happily awake either. And, you being a baby of barely two weeks I gather that something wasn’t as it should be. Grandfather’s intuition? I’d rather think so.
Luckily, I had my Nepalese singing bowl in my small apartment in your house. Though you may have your eyes open, you still cannot interpret details well. So, let me describe it. To begin with the bowl is quite heavy, is made of brass, which is a metal alloy which includes iron, brass, copper and something else. Both in Tibet and Nepal it is used as a kitchen utensil. And no one seems to ascertain when the artifact was included in Buddhist religious ceremonies.
Perhaps what stands out is that when I bought It was explained to me that if you rubbed the border of the bowl with the small wooden mallet that came with it -- as if producing sound while rubbing your finger around a wine goblet -- the friction would give out a relaxing sound that would also clean your chakras. This I didn’t understand well, and it even sounded a bit indecent, because the word sounded quite similar to “nuts” in Spanish. Anyway, my singing bowl fits in the palm of my left hand and it has two shades of copper or brass, one darker than the other. In the bottom there is a Buddhist mantra: Oh Mane Padme Hum with which I was familiar because it was sung in the first rock opera, Hair.
There are also a few inscriptions either in Tibetan or in Nepalese… or perhaps in just one? But the main thing is that when you start to slide the wooden piece around the edge of the bowl a very distinct sound seems to come out of your hand holding the bowl. It is almost a harmony played in the key 0f G sliding between do and fa.
And since we were both alone in your room I sat beside you and started to make the brass bowl sing. As soon as you heard it you opened your eyes with curiosity while trying to move your head in a searching fashion. But little by little you slipped into a slumber while I calmed you with the Oriental noise.
And I’m sure that I also felt your grandmother pass by and lay at your side to protect you, as she always did with her sons when they were your age.
***
A New Era
Our mode of traveling is as old as humanity and, as you may have noticed, it is very comfortable, especially when you are quite snug in your grandfather’s embrace.
But I must agree that my generation has just been hit by the beginning of the end of an era in our country’s public transportation system. A couple of days ago the media announced that the Red Devils will disappear, forever. This are recycled American school buses that were bought by some of our businessmen, included in the public transportation system, handed to very diverse people to drive them -- from saints to devilish murderers. These people were immune to any punishment the system tried to impose on them.