Blame It on the Raging Hormones
;-)
Nathan Goh
Published by Tincture at Smashwords
Copyright © 2010, 2011 Nathan Goh.
all rights reserved. No part of this work may be reproduced or utilized in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, microfilm, and recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the publisher.
First published in Singapore in 2010 by Whambam.
All the characters in this book are fictitious, and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.
Published in 2011 by Tincture, an imprint of Lethe Press, Inc.
118 Heritage Avenue • Maple Shade, NJ 08052-3018 • USA
www.lethepressbooks.com • lethepress@aol.com
ISBN: 1-59021-115-4
ISBN-13: 978-1-59021-115-1
Cover photo: 1911/iStockphoto.com.
Author photo: copperbandphotos.com.
Cover design: Alex Jeffers.
Cataloging-in-Publication Data on file with the Library of Congress.
Table of Contents
Author’s Note
Blame It on the Raging Hormones is written from the perspective of a 20-year-old gay Singaporean in the form of an online journal. It is not representative of the whole Singapore gay community, so do take everything you read in this book with a pinch of salt.
All persons and establishments mentioned in the book are fictitious. No comments/responses to the blog were shown because it’s meant for you to make your own uninfluenced judgment to the blog entries.
Read this book like you’re ashamed of even holding it: in quick, prying bursts, glancing over your shoulder occasionally for fear of being caught in the act. After you’re done with the book, burn or bury it so that no one will know you’ve ever read it.
All bad English in the book was intended by the author.
Back in the den of sins
Tuesday, 27th January 09
It was my first day back at work in Club69.
Never thought I would ever return to this place again. It’s ironic how I told my colleagues proudly when I quit that “the best man I ever met” wanted me to do so, only to find myself back at the job a month later because that fucking asshole had dumped me...
My supervisor was very kind. He offered to re-hire me when he heard that I was dumped by Alex. I took up his offer right away as I needed something, anything, to distract myself from thinking about him (and to get away from binge eating all day long at home). =(
I really, really thought that he would be the one that I could settle down with and leave all that’s in the gay scene behind. But here I am once again, working in this place, the meat market.
The reason for dumping me was even more ironic – he said he didn’t want a relationship anymore because he still wanted to play around. And to be fair to me, he felt that we should not see each other anymore. Such double standards! Asking me to quit the job even though I was not fooling around with other guys!!
AHH!!! F*** YOU ALEX! F*** YOU! F*** F*** F*** YOU!!!!!!
Posted by iNicky89 at 19:32 |
“She” works hard for the money?
Thursday, 29th January 09
Nah! =p
Working at Club69 is relatively easy; there aren’t many challenges at work. All I have to do is to follow the routine. There are even step-by-step instructions that the supervisor has passed down for us to follow. lol.
For example:
Preparing the dark rooms before the crowd comes in
1. Switch on the lights
2. Fill the bucket with water and soap
3. Clean the beds
4. Top up the lubricant and condom dispensers
5. Dim all the lights
In short, working at Club69 is idiot-proof. :D
This job isn’t completely easy breezy though, sometimes I’m made to do shit. Like today, I was made to clean up vomit in one of the dark rooms. Eeks. That poor guy probably went for action right after a meal, without letting the food settle first. With all the vigorous rocking on bed (I assumed that he was the bottom), he puked it all out. It must have been such a turn off. I could imagine the top’s tool shrivel instantly at the sight of the guy’s puke, heh.
Posted by iNicky89 at 22:10 |
Nicky loves butt naked men! =X
Friday, 30th January 09
Gay saunas often have themes for different nights, to attract all sorts of crowds and to cater to different interests. At Club69, Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays are Twink Nights, free entry for people under 24 years old with the purpose of attracting youngsters and people who like young and fresh meat. Wednesday is Leather Night, catering to folks who love leather or who simply enjoy kinky sex. Friday, as I have mentioned, is Full Moon Night where everyone is butt naked. Lastly, Sunday is Underwear Night, when gay men come and flaunt their pretty undies.
I absolutely adore Full Moon Night because I get to keep my staff uniform on while having the chance to see patrons’ tools and bare bodies. It’s also the most interesting and happening theme night. The place is as packed as you can imagine.
Tonight was Full Moon Night! XD
I went around clearing the trash bins in the rooms and filling up the condom dispensers. It was amazing how fast the condoms ran out, it was as if there was a condom monster that ate them up greedily while people were busy making out.
The rooms were all occupied. Some people managed to hook up and were waiting eagerly for the room to be vacant so that they could have their fun. A few of them couldn’t wait and were making out and even giving each other blowjobs along the corridors. 4
But what never fail to amaze me are the orgies. There’s an open space in the dark rooms and on this particular night, there was one line of guys fucking each other, bodies connecting to bodies like a choo choo train. It was a mixture of guys – Older, younger, attractive and not so attractive, built and slim etc. From what I saw, getting involved in this act was far more important than whom they were doing it with and I must say it was strangely erotic to watch.
Sex is often animalistic in the sauna. One doesn’t need to know the other’s background or love the person to make out with him. All that matters is lust and physical attraction
I am tempted to join the ranks.
After all, what is there to care? I’m now single.
Posted by iNicky89 at 23:53 |
Determined
Tuesday, 3rd February 09
Lately, ever since I was dumped, I’ve been hitting the gym rather often, about four times a week, trying my best to shed my baby fat and gain muscles.
If only I were cute enough, if only I were muscular and fit, he would not have left me. He would have been in a relationship with me, if only I could satisfy him.
I don’t understand.
I had tried my best to care for him and to show him affection. I was there whenever he needed me. I was so farking stupid to let him fuck me raw, thinking that he would be ‘The One’.
Every time I look into the mirror, I do not like what I see. Instead of strong muscular biceps and chests, I see flab. Instead of toned and defined abs, I see a paunch. I often find myself feeling really frustrated and uneasy after looking at my own reflection.
I am determined to work out even harder and become a hot hunk one day and men of much better caliber will chase after me.
Then he will want me back and I’ll say to him “Fuck off! You piece of shit! It’s too late for regret.”
Posted by iNicky89 at 20:35 |
Trying, Really Trying.
Thursday, 5th February 09
I just came home from Club69.
I was looking for action in the dark rooms for the first time since I returned to work. Since I’m single, I might as well enjoy my singlehood and have some fun.
I felt embarrassed, clad only with a towel. I found my baby fat to be a big turn off so I tried hard to suck in my tummy as much as possible. Though some guys told me that my figure was quite sexy with a nice smooth round bum, I was not convinced.
A few guys tried to pick me up. Though the saying is that beggars are not choosers, I just couldn’t imagine myself making out with them. They were just not my type.
Let me list them down:
Hairy man with an unkempt mop
Older man with wrinkles and liver spots
Uncle with a moustache
Pretty boy with long bangs
-____-“
There just wasn’t anyone I was interested in.........
Okay fine, there was.
There was this one tanned muscular man with a nice crew cut, who looked like a military officer. I tried to smile at him but he just turned away, looking bored. Then he went on to hook up with that pretty boy with long bangs. =/
I went down to the cafe to get a breather. The atmosphere in the dark rooms was tense, like being in the jungle, to hunt and being hunted.
As I was chatting with my colleague, from the corner of my eyes, I could see a man stripping and putting on a towel around his waist. I turned and our eyes met, which made me smile nervously. I couldn’t really tell his reaction but I thought he sort of winked at me.
Minutes later, I went up to the dark rooms and found him standing at one corner. The lights were dim, but now that he was much closer, I could get a clearer view of him. He was slightly taller than me, perhaps around 175cm. He had a lean body and masculine features which appealed to me.
I went and stood beside him, feeling uneasy and unsure of what to do. Then I felt someone playing with my fingers, I turned and he smiled at me. He grabbed my hand and led me into one of the rooms.
He was quite well endowed and he knew it. So when he slid his tool in, he made sure that he entered slowly and carefully, so as not to hurt me. After he shot his load, he even helped me to cum. Though he was nice and the sex was pretty good, I was distracted throughout the whole session.
Alex. I miss you.
Ah. Nicky! Stop thinking about that bastard, not now especially!
Oh come on! This guy is your type, stop thinking about Alex! Fuck.
I was so used to having sex with Alex that it felt weird for me to make out with someone else. I wished that it was Alex instead of this stranger that I was making out with.
Determined to forget Alex through having sex with other men, I quickly washed up in the showers and headed for a second round with another stranger.
Posted by iNicky89 at 00:21 |
Weird.
Friday, 6th February 09
A middle aged man was jerking off while walking around on the first floor of Club 69.
It was weird, very weird.
My colleague told me that guy was a drama lecturer at a local university, married with two daughters. I can definitely see where his acting skill kicked in - using it to ignore the stares, pointing and sniggering.
Weird.
Oh, there’s more.
There were two guys singing in oh-my-god-so-GAY! out of tune falsetto while swinging on the swing.
They were singing so loudly, I could hear them from the café loh. Kana Sai. LOL! >.<
And what’s up with the condom balloons?
It is so irritating bursting those balloons, it’s fucking OILY! Luckily, there was no white or yellow substance in them. Phew~
Posted by iNicky89 at 20:30 |
The Flood!
Monday, 9th February 09
I was getting ready to knock off from work when a patron told me that someone had fallen down in the dark rooms and hurt himself.
I rushed up and found the patron in one of the rooms, lying on the wet floor, groaning and hugging his knees in pain. I stepped in to the room and I realized the floor was actually wet with lubricant...
Apparently someone spoilt the lubricant dispenser (Too eager for action? Lol) and caused a flood of sticky and yucky lub on the floor...gross! >.<
The man couldn’t walk at all so I had to carry him down to the café. I had a really tough time carrying him as the man was chubby and bulky. I reckon it was a good work out though, lol.
Though I was supposed to rush off to meet a friend for coffee, I stayed on to tend to this patron. It just didn’t feel right to leave him like that, even though there were other colleagues around.
I know it’s a little mean but I giggled while I was helping him to wipe off the lubricant on his body. It’s not every day you have someone slipping on lubricant. I was thinking that if he had died from the fall, I’m sure a gay director will make a feature film about it, perhaps with a title like “Death from Lub”. Okay, not funny. =X
Thankfully, his injury wasn’t serious and he could limp around after awhile. Although it’s painful for him now, I’m sure he will be able to look back on it one day and laugh about it too. Haha =p
Posted by iNicky89 at 23:03 |
Dinner with the Triple Ds
Tuesday, 10th February 09
I had dinner with Dexter, Daniel and Dave just now.
It has been a few months since I met up with them, the Triple Ds. Ever since, I got attached to Alex, I had neglected them and devoted all my time to him. Alex used to want to meet me up every day and because he didn’t want to spend time with the Triple Ds, I couldn’t meet them too. When he grew cold, I was so engrossed in winning him back that I continued to neglect them. It was a foolish move to have neglected my friends during this whole time. Stupid me.
Daniel and Dave have been busy with the latest addition to their family – Mel, the kitten. They have always wanted to have a pet but only decided to get it recently, as they were busy with work. They showed us the pictures of Mel. She’s so darn cute loh!!!
Having a pet usually symbolizes taking another step of commitment in a relationship for LGBT couples since most of us won’t have children. I am glad Daniel and Dave are doing it. =)
Dexter has been busy with school and dating. He’s been seeing this guy, Eric, for a few months now but they’re both not attached because Eric is still getting over his ex and always entertaining the thought of getting back with him. Eric is indecisive, having Dex around only as a substitute and it’s causing Dex so much pain. You can’t treat a person who truly loves you in this manner. But Dexter is a silly fellow and is still sticking with Eric, hoping for the best. I’m not optimistic about it at all.
Dexter seems to have put on some weight. He binge-eats every time he gets depressed. Though he has never been slim and always bear-ish, the weight gain is pretty obvious, especially when he slouches in his seat.
Posted by iNicky89 at 21:20 |
Some days...
Wednesday, 11th February 09
...I made it through and then there’re nights that never end.
Posted by iNicky89 at 04:43 |
I knew.
Wednesday, 11th February 09
I’ve never mentioned it before but I knew he was cheating on me way before the confrontation.
I suspected he was having sex with other guys when he no longer wanted to have sex with me. For those of you who have been reading my blog, you should know by now that he has an extremely high sex drive. So if he was not shagging me, there was a good chance he was shagging someone else right?
A month into the relationship, he stopped shagging me and grew cold towards me. I had a tough time even getting him to meet me once a week. It made me paranoid and confused. It was like all of a sudden he had become this totally different person.
I used to find Alex obsessive and intense. He used to text me round the clock and wanted to meet me up every single day. He used to get jealous when he thought I was getting too close to my other guy friends. I remember giving him the nickname “Energizer Bunny” because he wanted to have sex all the time. There were even a few times when I complained about having abrasion in my ass because he ramped too hard and way too many times.
I wanted to know what was going on so I secretly looked through his hand phone’s messages while he was taking a shower. I must say I wasn’t surprised when I discovered that it was filled with booty calls and flirting. But I thought to myself that it must be my fault, I was gaining weight and getting less attractive and so I made a resolution to myself to lose weight and bulk up. I kept quiet about it, worked hard to be better for him and I treated him really really nice, hoping that he would love me again.
But still he dumped me - with just a fucking text message. I’ve never heard from him again. Few days later, I found out from a friend that he was going out with another boy for a few weeks already...
Ah...I can’t believe how stupid I was.
And I hate how I’m feeling right now. I actually still miss him. I know he isn’t right for me, even before he grew cold towards me but I missed how he used to treat me. Though he was intense, obsessive and sometimes rough towards me, he did made me feel special and loved - fetching me from work, taking me to romantic places, giving me extravagant gifts and always telling me how cute I was and how much he loved me.
He even booked a private capsule on the Singapore Flyer to propose to me to be his boyfriend. I was so touched that I cried.
No one except him ever did those things for me before...
And I wonder if anyone ever will...
Posted by iNicky89 at 13:44 |
“Community Centre”
Friday, 13th February 09
I’ve been working regularly at Club69 lately since I’m having school holidays at the moment. It’s partly an attempt to forget that bastard but it’s mainly to keep myself occupied as I have simply nothing better to do.
Working so regularly at Club69, I’ve noticed that it has quite a number of regulars. Some of them are around almost every day.
I was chatting with this patron, Meng, the other day. He asked me to chat with him for a while when I served him his coffee. Usually, I don’t do that because:
1. My supervisor gets upset when he feels that I’m not working my ass off.
2. Most costumers who try to strike up a conversation with me are only after my ass =/
But since the supervisor was not around and Meng seemed like a decent fellow, I thought why not?
It was an early afternoon on a weekday, there weren’t many people at Club69.
Meng was a property agent. During the day, there wasn’t much viewing of houses or meet ups with clients, hence he would come to Club69 to kill time.
“Don’t you get bored of this place, since you come here so often?” I asked him.
“Sometimes I do, but I like it here. There’s no pretence, no hang ups and people here are much more straightforward with what they want and what they don’t want. Though sometimes, this place is filled with the same faces but I can get sex anytime I want, provided I’m not picky.” Meng winked. “And I get to hang out with my friends over here.”
The idea of Club69 being a place for social interaction and a “community centre” still fascinates me, much more than it being a place for instant hook ups with strangers.
“You mean you come to Club69 to hang out with your friends?” I probed.
“Look. I don’t drink, I don’t club and I don’t go to a ‘gay gym’ like Cauliflower Fitness. So where else can I go to find gay people to hang out with?” he replied, his voice softened a little.
I was taken aback by his answer. Possibilities such as that had never crossed my mind. I felt shallow for thinking that patrons here are all just sexual predators and preys.
But that being said, there are those who come regularly and are constantly on the lookout for action. There’s this regular, Mr. Tattoo. He’s tall and lean, with a tattoo of a dragon on his back, sun roasted and probably in his mid 30s. I’m guessing that he’s a blue collared worker too, as he’s beng-ish and his command of English isn’t strong.
Mr. Tattoo has been wanting to hook up with me for a while now. Whenever I go to the dark rooms to clear the trash bins and stock up the condom dispensers, he will follow me around. He doesn’t talk to me, but will quietly observe me from a distance while I do my work, smiling at me whenever our eyes meet. It’s a little creepy, I know. But hor, he is a quite hot ah-beng leh. =p Earlier on, I was in the dark rooms, trying to replace the trash bag in one of the rooms when he came over. He placed his hands on my shoulders and said, “You very cute, wan have fun with me?”
I froze at his question, not knowing what to reply since I was still at work.
“Want or not? I’ll treat you nice nice,” Mr. Tattoo added. I stared at him for a while and then mumbled, “Sorry, I’m still at work.”
I stumbled out of the room immediately. It was rare that he spoke to me, and furthermore, trying to pick me up.
An hour later, I finished work and decided to go to the dark rooms to play and to see if he was still around. I walked around, trying to look for him. Then I felt a hand grabbing me, it was him. He pulled me close till our crotches were touching. I was thrilled and he could sense it, but then I realized something was wrong.
There was some powder right underneath his nostrils.
“What’s that?” I asked.
“Nothing,” Mr. Tattoo replied as he wiped it off. “We go fuck.” He smirked at me and tried to drag me into a room. I shook my head in protest.
He then forcefully held my hands down and started kissing me from my lips to my neck and making his way down to my nipples. The powder seemed to make him much more active and forceful than usual. I enjoyed the foreplay so much that I allowed him to take me into the room, though I clearly knew that it was dangerous.
Mr. Tattoo nearly forgot to put on a condom and I was sure my face paled when I asked him to put it on. After putting it on, he shoved it in quickly and seemed to get more and more aggressive with every hump.
“Go slower!” I yelped as it was painful. Mr. Tattoo shook his head as he pumped his tool in and out even harder and faster. His face was red and his eyes blood shot, but it was such a strangely erotic sight for me.
Soon, Mr. Tattoo came and my ass was sore. He gave me a kiss on my butt before leaving me in the room.
I know I know, it was risky! But it was kinda fun and thrilling.
Please don’t stone me. :P *Runs away
ps. Hey guys, stop asking me to put up my pics on the blog, I’m not gonna do so, for the sake of my friends’ and my privacy.
If you guys know who I am, it will make it so hard for me to rant and share freely on this space. :P
Posted by iNicky89 at 00:02 |
Happy V Day! =D
Saturday, 14th February 09
20 yo chn, 170 68.
Smooth, hairless bod.
Small ching chong eyes.
Short cropped hair.
Muscular boy in the making.
Nicky’s available for grab! =X
Just kidding! Hehehe.
Posted by iNicky89 at 11:20 |
Quest to become Macho Nicky =D
Monday, 16th February 09
I almost died during the last set of bench press. Daniel was such a fierce trainer loh. *pouts
Daniel was rushing me to finish my workout as he was running late for his movie with Dave.
I was so drained after struggling through that last set that I could barely get up from the bench. Daniel didn’t help me out; he squirted water at me with his water bottle instead. =/
It is good to hear that Daniel and Dave are taking time out to go on dates. Daniel told us that after being together with Dave, it’s easy to take each other for granted, so they set Wednesday nights aside to go out and spend quality time with each other. Sweet, right? Hehe.
When I asked Daniel if the sex is still good between him and Dave, Dexter squirted water at me and they both nagged me to not be so obsessed with sex and yakked about how Club69 is so not a place to be at if I want to find someone to settle down with in a monogamous relationship.
But trust me, I will quit working at Club69 and stop playing around once I find the right man.
Anyway, back to that very innocent question:
“Of course, ’cause I’m darn good,” Daniel replied and laughed while flexing his bulging biceps.
Woof! Nice! LOL!
ps. Some of you have asked if the names used on this blog are fake. Well the answer is......... most. =X
Posted by iNicky89 at 21:45 |
Ri Wei.
Friday, 20th February 09
Ri Wei. Ri Wei. Ri Wei.
I have never been fond of Chinese names but his name has such a unique ring to it.
I finished my shift at Club69 and was feeling rather horny after looking at half naked men all day at work.
I went into my birthday suit and began my hunt. It wasn’t long before I found someone whom I thought was attractive.
I gave him a smile and he returned it, so I wrapped my arms around his waist and said, “Hey cutie.”
He gave me a smirk and went for my lips, an action which was straightforward and a pleasant surprise. We smooched for a long while, while fondling each other’s tool. After a while, people gathered to look at us.
“Let’s continue inside a room?” I said as I let out a nervous laugh.
Ri Wei is a Chinese guy with nice features and cute unkempt hair. He’s in his early 40s but looks around 30. I love it when he smiles, there’s a twinkle in his eyes when he does so.
Ri Wei’s physically my type too. Generally I like guys like him – Lean older, mature looking guys with a nice smile. And I love it when he smirks. Yum. :D
It was fun kissing, cuddling and giving each other head in the room but I must admit I was kind of disappointed when I discovered that he is a fellow bottom. We were both unwilling to cum without getting a good fuck first, so we parted with a kiss.
We continued our rounds but I realized I still couldn’t get my eyes off him. So when we bumped into each other again, I ended up pulling him aside and kissed him.
“Hey kiddo, still haven’t found anyone to ‘marry’ yet?” Ri Wei smirked and said.
“Nope, how about you? Having trouble finding a walking stick, old man?” I replied and licked his lips.
When we were having fun in the room, I told him that I was interested to date him. I didn’t know why but I had that impulse to know more about him, to know him as a potential partner. When he heard it, he mocked me, saying that I was too eager to get ‘married,’ especially at a young age of 20.
Then the lights came on; an accident happened. The staff gathered us and asked everyone to put on our towels. A few minutes later, it was resolved and everyone kept their towels on, except him.
I went over and he took my towel and wrapped it around both of us. It was a sexy move and we ended up smooching like there was no tomorrow.
After the wham-banging that followed after, we washed up and exchanged numbers
“I hope I will get to see you again,” I pleaded, while trying to pull off a puppy look.
“Who knows, kid?” Ri Wei teased.
As I’m typing this, I realize that I’m actually smiling and feeling really excited. I haven’t felt this way about someone for a while now. When I was with him, I did not think of Alex at all, which proves that Alex is indeed replaceable.
I am interested to date this “old man,” to get to know him. Though I know there’s quite a wide age gap, I don’t mind it at all. Heh. =)
Posted by iNicky89 at 00:11 |
I’m moving on.
Wednesday, 25th February 09
I have been trying to ask Ri Wei out for a date but his schedule seems really packed. He said he will let me know when he’s free. I doubt he’s really that busy, so busy that he can’t even take time out to meet me for a meal. I think he’s just not that keen to go out on a date with me. Still, I’m keeping my fingers crossed that I will get to go out with this charming guy someday.
On a different topic, I’m seeing some results from going to the gym regularly. My tummy seems to shrink quite a bit and my face is getting thinner and sharper, which is great. There are no definitions or muscles yet, but I’m contented by the fact that I’m slimming down. In fact some of my friends have pointed out to me that I’m looking better and better each week.
Hooray! So I guess that means that I can now go stuff my face with hamburgers and chips? =X lol
Anyway, I finally decided to sell the things Alex gave to me on Ebay. I’m moving on and having things around will just remind me of him. I’m selling away 2 Fred Perry polo t-shirt, a Tiffany ring, a Crumpler bag, a PSP and iTouch. I guess it will be better than dumping them all in the trash bin. After all, I can do with some extra cash since I’m only earning a pathetic 5 bucks an hour at Club69. Lol.
There was one thing I did throw away though. On our 2nd month anniversary, he gave me a huge teddy bear wearing a mini suit with his tie and spectacles on. I remember when he gave me the teddy bear after our anniversary lunch, I didn’t seem too touched. I thought it was uber sweet and cute but I couldn’t help feeling bothered. I knew I had to take the train to go home as he was going to work and it would be embarrassing for a 20 year old guy like me to carry such a huge teddy bear around in public. He saw my expression and thought I didn’t like his present and flared up instead. Alex didn’t even bother to listen to my explanation and drove away after yelling some hurtful things at me. I was troubled by his temper but I thought I could live with this minor flaw of his and that in time, I could change him with my love. I should have been wiser and stayed away because the tantrum was just the tip of the iceberg.
But still...throwing away the teddy bear was a hard thing for me to do, a part of me still has feelings for him and the teddy bear holds some sentimental values.
Posted by iNicky89 at 22:46 |
Worst sex ever!
Friday, 27th February 09
I had the worst sex in my life last night.
Here’s what happened:
I was giving this idiot head for what seemed like ages. He kept pushing my head to go deeper, which pissed me off real bad.
I continued because I didn’t want to seem rude for leaving in the middle of sex.
I gave his tool a final lick and put a condom on it. He looked at me with an orgasmic look. At that moment, I just wanted to get it over and done with. I was not feeling it already as I was tired out from blowing him the whole time. He rammed his tool in and I yelped in pain.
Fuck! Ah...bear with it, Nicky!
“Sorry, I can’t control,” he said as he thrust in and out with much vigor.
After a few seconds, the pain subsided and I began to enjoy it a little. Then, he started to moaned, “Ah...”
I noticed his face squeezing up, then reddening up with embarrassment almost immediately.
I couldn’t help but to give him a cold look while he was removing the condom and cleaning himself up.
“Can I help you cum?” he asked guiltily.
“No,” I said, turning away from Mr. Cum-Too-Fast.
He apologized and went out of the room. My ass was feeling sore because of the bad entry and I wasn’t in the mood to have fun with another stranger, so I went solo in the room. Bah...
Posted by iNicky89 at 11:53 |
Dexter.
Monday, 2nd March 09
I really can’t believe that jerk, Eric. He actually went back to his ex again. It’s like this fucking sick cycle.
Eric goes back to his ex who dumps him over and over again and Eric in return, dumps Dexter over and over again.
What a fucking dysfunctional couple.
Poor Dexter. He’s so depressed right now. =(
Dexter was caught by the police for having sex with a stranger in a public toilet.
He was standing at the urinal, cruising guys who were peeing. After an hour of cruising, he hooked up with an Indian man and they went into a cubicle together when no one else was around.
Just when Dex was about to go down on him, the Indian man handcuffed him. Only then did Dexter realise that the man was an undercover police.
He was lucky though. The policeman only gave him a verbal warning as Dexter is still a university student. It would have been a disaster if he had gotten detained and charged. A criminal record would cause a humongous stain on his resume, furthermore an incident like this. It was unlike him to do something like this.
Dexter wanted to grab a bite so I accompanied him. We were silent throughout the meal. Dexter ordered lots of food and was literally gorging himself.
Then he choked on his food and started to cough. I immediately got him a glass of water. As Dex drank the water, he began to break down. I didn’t know what to do except to hold him tight.
I ended up going home at 5am because Dexter didn’t want to go home and I was so worried he would do something silly. He drove us to the beach and we spent the whole night staring at the sea. I tried to crack some jokes to cheer him up but he just kept quiet.
I wonder why Eric would put himself such trauma. I really hope that Eric will leave him alone and never come back.
I wish I know how to make it all better for Dexter...Poor Dex. =’(
Posted by iNicky89 at 14:30 |
Feeling a little unloved :(
Tuesday, 3rd March 09
I was walking around in the dark rooms for two hours and got turned down by a few guys whom I approached, even those who were just average looking. There weren’t many guys who tried to pick me up too. In short, it just wasn’t my night. :(
After walking so many rounds in the dark rooms, waiting and posing around, I decided to have fun with this guy who had been following me around the whole time. He wasn’t my type and looked like a geekish IT guy in his early 50s but because he was so so persistent in wanting me and I was just so horny, desperate and feeling a little unloved, I gave in. :(
The sex was alright though, much better than I had expected. lol. But still, I felt shitty as I was turned down by so many people, wasted quite a bit of time and yet didn’t get what I wanted. Sigh, oh well.
ps. Ri Wei still hasn’t got time for me. *Pouts
Oh well.
Posted by iNicky89 at 23:05 |
Exaggerated.
Tuesday, 3rd March 09
Okay, maybe I was a bit melodramatic last night.
I do have a fair share of people who like me in Club69. Sometimes when I’m filling up the condom and lubricant dispensers in the darkrooms, patrons will grope me. There was even once while I was cleaning one of the rooms, a patron came in, locked the door and touched me. (Thankfully, I’m big sized enough not to be intimidated by him and managed to get out safely.)
It’s just that I’ve been feeling really insecure (even more than before) ever since Alex dumped me. I did my best and still it didn’t work out.
Some days I need sex to forget my problems, have a fun time and feel good about myself. I still do want a happy, fulfilling monogamous relationship like what Daniel and Dave have. When I find the right one, I will stop fooling around. And who knows, maybe I’ll find my future partner here in Club69?
I remember there was this sweet patron that made me felt extremely touched. It was during the peak hour and I was busy preparing food and beverages in the café and there was this patron who kept talking to me. That patron was clearly interested in me as he was flirting with me and telling me how cute I was. I thought he was just horny so I didn’t really entertain him.
The patron asked me to go out with him on a date which I declined as he was not my type and I told him I couldn’t talk as I was busy.
He wasn’t offended. Instead, he asked if he could visit me at work tomorrow. I said sure, thinking that he would forget all about it when he was no longer horny.
To my surprise, he appeared at Club69 the first thing in the morning. He passed me a bouquet of roses and left for work. I was so touched by his sincerity.
I didn’t go out with him though. He wasn’t my type and I didn’t want to waste his time or hurt him.
Posted by iNicky89 at 09:32 |
GODZILLA!!!
Thursday, 5th March 09
SO HUGE! SO HUGE! SO HUGE!
I was wiping the mirrors in the shower room when I saw it in the mirror’s reflection. Thank God for open showers! XD
And I don’t think it was even erected at all. It was clearly a shower (or could it be both a shower and a grower? *gasp)
I could see I wasn’t the only one looking. The other boys around him were just as amazed.
I mean Asians don’t usually have huge long dicks, it’s a stereotype but it does hold some truth. Asians’ ding dongs are generally 5 inches. His is at least 8 inches unerected.
I was so tempted to walk up to him and say, “Don’t you know it’s a sin to carry such a big gun?” (Corny, I know. Lol)
Wow.
I doubt I have the capacity to take all THAT in though. I will probably only give it a handshake. TMI! =X
Nonetheless, I feel privileged just to be able to see it.
Uber Wow.
Posted by iNicky89 at 00:24 |
Adonis.com
Friday, 6th March 09
It has been awhile since I last logged onto Adonis.com. Adonis.com is a LGBT networking website. People often use this website to make friends, to look for dates and hook ups. It’s the place where I used to face much rejection. I would send out tons of messages to people, wanting to know them, to date them. I remember sitting in front of my laptop for hours, desperate to receive a reply.
This website brings back horrible memories for me. It was painful even just typing the website address on the keyboard.
I seldom got messages and when I did, they were usually from either chub chasers (though I wasn’t that fat) or people that I wasn’t even vaguely attracted to. Looking back, I’ve only got myself to blame for feeling crappy over the rejection. There were people who wanted me but I was picky. Finding a date or a hook up is after all like having a barter trade –Muscle for Muscle, Good Looks for Good Looks and for some, it’s Money for Muscle or Success for Good Looks, whichever is deemed as equal value or a good deal to the other party. I just didn’t have anything of worth to “trade,” except the fact that I was young (but even that can be a turn off to some people too).
I remember the day I got attached to Alex. I changed my relationship status on the website to “in a monogamous relationship” eagerly and immediately. I guess that was my way of showing off and proving to those who had rejected me that I was wanted, I was of value.
But here I am, on this website again. I change my relationship status to single and edit my profile. My previous profile write-up makes me cringe, it says, “Don’t, don’t message me for sex! I’m not into ONS, k? I am looking for a LTR! My name is Nicky! =D I’m looking for an older, mature, nice and caring man who will love me for who I am. I believe that true love is out there, so come get me!”
I stare at the screen for a good half an hour before coming up with this new one, “New beginning, and new start. If given the opportunity, I would love to spend time with that special someone to have romantic dinners together and to watch the night sky and the stars while take long walks in the park. After all that I’ve been through, I still believe in love and that I’ll eventually find the right one.”
What do you guys think about it? :D
I’m trying not to expect anything from this website after all the disappointment I’ve been through but it will be good if someone nice comes along.
Posted by iNicky89 at 12:45 |
Boys Night In! =D
Saturday, 7th March 09
Boxes of Pizza.
Bottles of Beers.
Tubs of Häagen-Daz.
Kathy Griffin on DVD.
How can you top that? ;)
ps. Glad that Dex is feeling much better. Phew~
Posted by iNicky89 at 11:01 |
Alex.
Wednesday, 11th March 09
I don’t know what to do...
He texted me 2am in the morning, said that he was thinking about me and wanted me to go over to his place. This is the first time he has contacted me ever since he dumped me...
What does he want with me?
The mind’s ability to imagine is amazing. When I received his text, my mind just wandered off in thousand and one directions with possibilities.
Does it mean that he wants to give it a try again?
Or perhaps he wants to apologize for all he has done and wants a proper closure?
Oh! Maybe he finally realizes that I am The One and wants to beg me to come back to him!
Despite knowing that he’s no good, I just couldn’t help being a little hopeful. The mind starts picturing how it would be like meeting him again, how it will be like being in his arms, listening to him telling me how much he loves me, wants me and how attractive I am.
I have not replied his text message. Though there’s a part of me that still wants him back, that wants someone in my life, I just don’t know if I want to risk going through all those shit again.
And who knows? Perhaps he was just horny and wanted a fuck.
I’m feeling like a fool. I think it’s gonna be another sleepless night.
Sian......
Posted by iNicky89 at 10:24 |
I’m such an idiot.
Thursday, 12th March 09
!@$!%!@%!%!
I’m so mad at myself right now. How could I have been such a fucking fool?!?!
Argh!
I saw Alex at Club69 just now. I was walking past the locker area when I saw him wrapping a towel around his waist. I stopped and stared at him.
I was so mad at him; I was clenching my fists so tight.
He was shocked to see me and he quickly came over to me. I took a deep breath and walked away before he couldn’t say anything. I was about to explode and I knew I would have yelled at him and it wouldn’t be appropriate of me as an employee of this sauna.
I went inside the office and asked if I could take the day off. Thankfully, my supervisor understood my situation and allowed me to do so. Otherwise, I might not be able to control myself from stomping up to Alex and thrashing it out with him in front of other patrons.
After all he has done to me, couldn’t he have the courtesy to just leave me the fuck alone?
How could I be so stupid to still want him back, thinking that he might have changed for the better? I really need more self-love, man. =(
Argh! Fuck!