MEETING WOMEN
A Comprehensive Guide to Approaching and
Becoming Acquainted with New Females
By Dr. Nick Shoveen, Ph.D. Author of:
The Female-to-English Dictionary
How to be a Porno Producer
The Phone Sex Manual
© MMIX Gene Grossman/Magic Lamp Press
ISBN 1882629-04-3
Smashwords Edition 1.0 - October, 2009
Chapter Contents:
1. Introduction
2. Ground Rules
3. The Feather Duster
4. Getting Pinned Down
5. The Market
6. The Bookstore
7. The Department Store
8. The Funeral
9. The Wedding
10. Evergreens
11. Time is Money
12. Happy Hour
13. The Fix-up
14. What Not to Say
15. I’m All Ears
16. What’s Next?
17. Yada, Yada, Yada
18. Forget the Past
19. In Conclusion
20. A Little Research
More Books by Dr. Shoveen
About the Author
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Chapter 1
Introduction
For the first eight weeks after birth, baby boy and baby girl brains are pretty much the same - but once they hit that big second month of age, they go in different directions and stay apart for the rest of their lives.
Males and females both are believed to have the same number of brain cells, but male brains are about nine percent bigger than female brains. This means that female brains are more densely packed, and their hippocampi are larger. (The hippocampus is the brain’s center of emotion and memory foundation).
This means that women approach the world in a completely different way than men. First of all, women talk more. On the average, a woman may use up to 20,000 words a day, while the average man will only use about 7,000 words. That’s right: they talk almost three times as much as men.
Changes that will affect adult behavior between the sexes also start during those important first two months of age. At about nine weeks, hormone types and levels start leading to what will be different types of behavior during the teen ages, often shown by a female propensity for drama.
This behavioral difference is also evident in the thought processes of adults between the ages of 20 and 30: during that age period, women think about sex once or twice a day… and men think about sex once every 52 seconds.
The above findings lead to some interesting conclusions:
The difference between men and women is more than just physical, because as stated above, their brains are wired differently;
A man can never really know what’s going on in a woman’s mind because their brains are packed and function differently;
A woman will always know what’s going on in a man’s mind, because while communicating with him, she knows that at least once every minute he will be thinking about having sex.
The purpose of this book is to help men disguise their inner thoughts, and to give the impression that they are actually listening to what the target of their desire is saying during the 3-to-1 ratio of word exchange, while at the same time leading the desired female to believe that he is either sincere, or a ‘bad boy’ who will entertain her.
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2
Ground Rules
You must be well groomed… and this goes for your car too. Only the lowest class of female (outside of Europe or the Mid-east) will tolerate poor hygiene, body odor, bad breath, any offensive appearance, or a messy car… and unless you’re either drunk or desperate, you shouldn’t want to be with that type of female. They spend an inordinate length of time preparing to face the male world and don’t like to think that their efforts will be wasted.
You must not reveal too much in the first encounter. There must always be the thought in her mind that there’s something she doesn’t know. The female attention span is very fragile, and should be maintained at a high level. As every reader knows, reading the last page of a who-dunnit mystery novel spoils the fun of reading the whole book. It’s the journey that counts.
She must be made to feel safe. Even a street hooker will know what types of tricks to avoid. Women have an inner radar system that turns them off when they’re faced with male instability. If they are putting themselves into a position whereby you can meet them, it means they already have enough instability in their own lives: they don’t also want to be forced to deal with yours.
Don’t smile too much. It’s a sign of weakness, and detracts from the seriousness of your approach. You don’t want to come on like some desperate shoe salesman. Confidence is a sign of control and power, and power is an aphrodisiac
Look into her eyes. This is a sign of sincerity, and also forces her to look into your eyes. By maintaining eye contact and keeping it until she is the first one to turn away, you are establishing a form of control, making you the alpha male. It also gives her the feeling that she is the absolute center of your attention. They like that. It works especially well when a more attractive women slinks by the two of you, and your female notices that you didn’t take your eyes off of her to ogle the passerby
The more attractive the female is, the more pick-up lines she has had tried on her before your attempt. Know your surroundings, and modify your approach accordingly. The same routine that works in a singles bar may not work in a bookstore or museum.
Don’t start out with a lie. It is guaranteed to come back and bite you sooner or later. Slightly mislead, hold back information, exaggerate a little, but don’t flat-out lie
Stalk her first: make sure that she is not there with a professional wrestler, who just happens to be in the men’s room, or if she is part of a two or three-female pack.
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3
The Feather Duster
In many classic old plays, the audience is told about the main characters by what was known as the ‘feather duster’ device. As the curtain opens for the first act, a servant with a feather duster is going over some items in a room and is interrupted by a phone ringing. She picks up the phone and in answer to what the caller’s question must have been, says something like;
“No, Mister Kensington isn’t in right now: he’s over at the U.N. giving a speech on world economics. No, his wife isn’t here either, she’s at the country club, being honored for the hole-in-one she got last week in the State tournament.”
With one neat paragraph, the audience now knows the stars’ names, and that they are rich, important people. This saves a lot of time and provides you with a way to look at these people. They’re no longer strangers to you. What they say carries some weight.
The same technique can be used when meeting a female. It’s really not such a good idea to start out by asking her to reveal anything about herself. She doesn’t know you. She will feel uncomfortable being put on the spot to answer a question of yours, unless it is a completely harmless one.
Your task, therefore, is to ask her a completely harmless question, one that can be answered with a simple yes or no answer, but at the same time be part of a feather duster scene that tells her exactly what you want her to know about you. Here are some examples, and the logic behind them:
Your opening: “How’s your boss?”
This will completely disarm her. The odds are pretty good that she works for a living, so she won’t want to offend you, for fear of your being a friend of her employer. She may come back with “What?” or “I beg your pardon,” or “are you speaking to me?” “I don’t have any boss,” or “you must have me confused with someone else.”
These responses are all acceptable, and you should look at her very seriously when you follow up. Her curiosity has now been aroused; you’ve got her attention.
Your follow-up: “I’ve noticed you several times in the past month when visiting your boss.” If you’re in Southern California, where everyone is six degrees away from someone who works in showbiz, you can say “You’re in the secretarial pool over at Twentieth Century Fox, just outside of Bob’s office, across the street from Stage 6.” If you’re not in Southern California, then use a place of business that’s the most successful and respected in your community. In New York it could be Donald Trump’s office. You can also use the Mayor’s office of whatever city you’re in… or the chief of police.
No matter what business you place her in, you’ve now accomplished two things with one sentence: first, you’ve let her know that her appearance is such that even if she was in a large secretarial pool, she stood out enough to be noticed. And secondly, it tells her that you’ve got some business to do with a very successful man – a man important enough to have his own secretarial pool… and that you’re important enough to be associated with him, and refer to him on a first-name basis.
Note that this approach gives her a lot of information, but still doesn’t tell her anything about you. She knows that you’ve mistaken her a secretary, but she has no idea why you’re visiting an important person at a major studio. If she has at least half a brain, she will want to know who and what you are.
Remember the rules: never start out with a lie. She has no idea who or what you are at this point. Silence is a great device. Look at her with confusion on your face. Raise an eyebrow, as if you don’t believe her. Use one of those “C’mon, you’re kidding me, aren’t you?” looks. Give her a chance to talk. She will lead with a denial or a question. If she starts with a question, then you have succeeded in breaking the ice. She wants to know more about you. If she comes back with a denial that she works at Fox, and/or that she’s not a secretary, then you have a little more work to do.
You can respond to her denial by apologizing for the mistake, letting her know that the girl you mistook her for looks almost identical to her, but doesn’t dress as nice. You can follow the compliment by making a peace offering. In a bar, it could be a drink; in a grocery store or super-market it might be a piece of something sweet that you say you’ll steal for her from the candy bin (if she agrees to accept stolen candy, don’t do it – chicken out and offer to take her out for a soda instead); in a bookstore it can be a paperback book that you claim to have read recently and enjoyed. It’s best not to use this opening in a jewelry store.
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4
Getting Pinned Down
If you’ve read one of my other books, the Female-to-English Dictionary, you’ve learned from Chapter 3 that a woman’s looks are a depreciating asset. Time is their enemy, and they don’t like to waste it. Sure, they may go for a one-night stand every once in a while, just to break up the boredom, buy for the most part, they’re just like Wall Street people: they don’t want to make an investment that isn’t going to pay off.
Before they invest any time in you, they’ll want to know who you are, what you do for a living, and whether or not you can support them in a manner like they’d like to get accustomed to. This will lead to a question and answer period that can range from subtle ‘fishing,’ to a piercing interrogation.
Sooner later, you will have to answer all of her questions, but it’s a good idea to avoid that as long as possible, without coming on like a smart ass.
There’s a good possibility that her Q & A session will start before you know anything about her, so you can always use your lack of knowledge about her as a defense, with “hey, wait a minute, you don’t see me interrogating you… let’s just enjoy ourselves before we get too personal.” Make sure you’re smiling when you say that.
Another way the conversation might go is:
Her: “What do you do for a living. Are you a lawyer?”
This is wishful thinking on her part; she’s hoping you’re a professional person.
You: “Is there anything wrong with lawyers?”
This puts her on the defensive. She doesn’t want to offend you if you’re a lawyer, so now she’s off guard.
Her: “No, seriously, you seem well educated. What do you do”?
You: “I work for my uncle”
Her: “What does your uncle do?”
You: “He’s retired.”
Her: “What do you do for him?”
You: “Whatever it takes to stay in his Will.”
A little chuckle is helpful with this answer. The good thing about it is that she may now see a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. But remember, the purpose of this book is not to guide you through an entire relationship; it’s only designed to help you get one started. After that, you’re on your own, and the only thing that will help you then is my Female-to-English Dictionary.
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5
The Market
A Supermarket can be a great place to pick up a female, because other than a bookstore where you can see what kind of books she’s looking at, in the market you can look into her cart and see what type of food she eats, whether or not she smokes, if she’s a junk-food junkie, a strict vegan, etc.
Also, you can see both of her hands on the shopping cart and notice whether or not there’s a wedding band… and after she’s got some things in the cart, you’ll also be able to avoid a female who is buying lots of diapers or cat food, because they’re indications of two undesirable things you don’t want crawling around and distracting her while you’re visiting.
You should consider looking for a female picking up things that can be used for cooking. It’s no fun being invited over to her house for a frozen dinner.
Here’s a good opportunity for you to use props… things you put in your cart as bait. One gentleman I know has a unique market method. He would wait until Friday or Saturday before going to the market, and the first thing he would do is put three things in his shopping cart: a bottle of very expensive white wine, the most expensive, large, delicious-looking piece of wrapped steak or filet mignon that the meat department had to offer, and a sweet dessert from the bakery aisle, with a pint of gourmet ice cream. With his cart properly loaded, he would then cruise past the aisle where the pasta was displayed, waiting for a likely prospect.
His reasoning was quite simple: if a female is in a market just before dinner time, and she’s shopping for some pasta (or at the salad bar that many markets now offer), it gives you some insight into her status, including:
First, she doesn’t have a date tonight, or a regular boyfriend, because she’s shopping for something to eat on a weekend evening;
Second, she doesn’t have enough money to buy anything more decent to eat, and she also knows how to boil water;
Third, she doesn’t have a guy coming over for dinner, because no guy with half a brain wants to be invited over for just pasta; and,
Not having any plans, she’s not in a hurry: she’ll spend a little time talking to you.
At this point, you know a lot about her, and she knows nothing about you, except for these three things:
You’re going to eat a lot better than she is tonight;
You can afford to eat steak, and she can’t;
Whoever eats with you will be having a fine dinner.
Armed with his knowledge about her and what he knew she would notice about him, my friend would pause across the aisle from her, pretending to be looking for something else to buy. There would be an accidental clash of their shopping carts, and he would use it as an opportunity to speak to her, apologizing for the collision.
During the brief conversation, he would go with, “excuse me, but if you don’t mind, I wonder if you could give me some advice.” This usually stops a female cold, because they love to give advice. It also peaks their curiosity because the request is coming from a complete stranger.
He would then follow up by holding up the expensive piece of wrapped meat and ask, “How long do you think I should cook this to get it sort of medium inside? I’m a little new at this, and I really don’t know what I’m doing.”
If this scenario occurs for you, then Bingo! You’ve just told her that she’s hit the jackpot. Not only has she accidentally bumped into a guy that’s obviously available after a recent break-up, but he’s got some money, likes to eat good food, and isn’t afraid to let a little vulnerability show through.
Now it’s up to her. She’s been given every opportunity known to mankind for participate in an ‘innocent’ conversation. She can also show you that she has some idea of how to cook, depending on her questions about your kitchen facility.
It really doesn’t matter what she says to you, because you’re not interested. The only thing that counts is her demeanor. If it’s any indication of friendliness, then that’s your opening to go in for the closing: “Look, I really feel bad about bumping into your cart, and then trying to get information out of you… I’d like to show my appreciation in some way: would you like to share this steak dinner with me, or should I just toss this stuff back on the shelves and take you out to some nice restaurant nearby… your choice.”
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