Comedy Career Management
How to Get Started as a Stand-up
Barry Neal
For anyone who ever watched a comedian and thought “I can do that”
ISBN: 1-882629-06-X
Comedy Career Management – How to Get Started as a Stand-up
©MMIX Gene Grossman’s Magic Lamp Press
All rights reserved
Published by Magic Lamp Press
Smashwords Edition 2.0, July, 2010
CONTENTS
Section I
Introduction to Stand-up & ‘Open Mikes
Section II
Finding Your Voice
Section III
Analyzing the Audience
Section IV
Performance/Surrounding/Stages
Section V
Showcasing, Fee Negotiation, M.C.,
Booking Rooms and Getting Paid
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Foreword
There has been no shortage of books written for aspiring stand-up comedians. Most of them are a series of interviews with successful comics, each giving some sage advice to the wannabees. Others just seem to fall into the self-aggrandizing category of “hear me toot my own horn, about how funny and popular I am.”
Unfortunately, we were not aware of any attempt to let the non-professionals in on that real inside information that every comedian must know: how to manage a career. This is the backstage stuff that can make or break a career, because unlike the rules concerning many other jobs, just ‘showing up’ and being funny doesn’t cut it. Those two are important, but they’re only the tip of the career management iceberg. Sure, people like Paris Hilton reportedly can earn $100,000 just for showing up at a party, but a successful comedy career can last much longer if done correctly, and is much more immune to being destroyed by a few facial wrinkles or the passing of a 30th birthday
Up to now, there has been no way to learn the ‘unwritten’ rules of professional conduct that a stand-up comedian should follow: the only way to learn them was by trial and error – the ‘hard way.’
Barry Neal has been learning those rules for more than fifteen years now, and as a result of following what he considered to be the ‘right’ ones, his career has gotten off the ground quite nicely, leading him to appearances on the stages of comedy clubs throughout the country, appearing on the Tonight Show, and now a very busy career as a comedy coach, talent booker, and manager/rep for many other comedians and entertainers.
As owner of a production company, I became familiar with Barry’s popular routine as the ‘Counselor of Love,’ and was impressed by the way he turned a ‘clean’ act into a profitable business.
It wasn’t until meeting him that I discovered his reasoning. As he put it, the best way to get out of the comedy clubs and into the world of big-budget corporate gigs was to develop a routine that could be performed in front of executives and their families.
I also wasn’t aware of the jobs being made available at corporate functions, but soon learned that that’s where our former elected officials turn to make the big bucks after leaving office. Agencies like the Washington Speakers Bureau send out former presidents, sports figures, TV personalities, and others, for fees that reach up to $250,000, for a half-hour speech and a seat at the CEO’s table… and if they can pay that much for the main speaker, they have no problem paying a measly five to ten grand for an opening act, like a ‘clean’ comedian.
If you have any intention of going into the entertainment profession by being a stand-up comedian or other performer in front of the public, you owe it to yourself to learn what Barry has found to be the ‘rules’ to follow.
We were fortunate enough to have caught Barry during a break in his busy schedule, when he had a few days off to sit down and put his thoughts into a 5-volume set of DVDs containing over 100 areas of advice for the aspiring comedian: from the few basic elements of stand-up comedy, all the way to those all-important business aspects of booking jobs and getting paid.
He has allowed us to have those programs transcribed and presented in print, resulting in this book… the first of its kind, and the type that the most successful of them all, Jerry Seinfeld has often mentioned, as being needed.
Gene Grossman – Magic Lamp Press
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SECTION I:
INTRODUCTION TO
STAND-UP & OPEN MIKES
1. Introduction
2. Focus and Hard Work
3. Barry’s Background
4. What is Stand-up Comedy?
5. The 3 Elements of Stand-up
6. “Talk & Watch”
7. Attitude
8. A Stand-up Doesn’t Tell Jokes!
9. Know Your Victim
10. Your Stage Persona
11. You Only Have One True Persona
12. How Do You Know You’re Funny?
13. Open Mikes
14. Complacency
15. Always Be Prepared
16. 3 Types of Acts
17. A Stepping-Stone?
18. Release Fear
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1
Introduction
I’ve been doing stand-up comedy for about 17 years and have been teaching a class and doing seminars for about eleven. So, this is your first step on a long journey. I want to thank you for taking this first step. It’s a long hard road but it’s worth it.
Stand-up comedy has done great things for me, and this is what I love to do. I also love to teach, so again I thank you for making this book your reference for the management of your future comedy career.
And, keep in mind that Comedy is a Serious Business.
Barry Neal
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2
Focus and Hard Work
We’re going to really concentrate on two things here in this section. One is hard work. That is really the final arbiter on how successful you’ll be. I wish there was a magic wand of stand-up comedy that can touch you on the head and say you have so much talent, you now will be successful. It simply doesn’t work that way. So number one, you have to be willing to do hard work. And just by having this book you’ve already taken the first step, so congratulations.
The second thing we’re going to focus on is having a plan – having a focus. There’s an old saying, “If you fail to plan you plan to fail.” I know it’s corny, but it’s true. If you don’t have a focus, if you don’t have a plan, you’re not going to be successful at stand-up comedy. So, again those are the two things we’re going to concentrate on and then, we’re going to get into the whole world of stand-up comedy in terms of analyzing audiences, how to book a room, performance, surroundings, finding your voice and professionalism. But those two things are the key: having a plan and hard work.
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3
A Little History
My background is really in comedy. I started doing stand-up when I was in college at Northwestern University, which is near Chicago. I started doing what were called open mikes. That’s when clubs open up their doors to anyone who wants to do stand-up. I was only 19 years old back then and I thought it was a lot of fun. I stopped doing it for a few years and I got into what’s called improvisational comedy. At Northwestern there was a thing called The Meow Show that a number of famous alums have done. It was a lot of fun and made me con-fident on stage that I could be funny. The director of our show who was actually the executive producer now of Drew Carey’s Who’s Line is it Anyway? Took us to Europe and I also did acting when I was there and I thought that really was my passion. I’m going to be an actor. I’m going to be a comedic actor because I’ve done stand-up and I know how to do acting, so I’ll move to Los Angeles.
Well, to make a long story short, if you move to Los Angeles without an invitation, without representation, you’re going to be in casting calls with thousands of people and you’re just another face. It was a long road and I realized I didn’t think I really wanted to be an actor. I didn’t really like doing Shakespeare. I didn’t really like doing Chekhov plays. I wanted to make people laugh. Within six months, I knew I needed to get back to stand-up. At the time, there were still a lot of places that were doing open mikes. The IMPROV was one of them, so I went to an open mike and did really well. Maybe it was luck, maybe it was a good crowd, but for those five minutes I got people to laugh and I realized this is what I want to do. So I started going to every open mike I could: coffee houses, clubs, whoever would give me stage time, I would go and I’d write down my notes. These are the material that I’m going to cover this show. This is what I’m going to do the next show. And within six months, I thought I had 10 to 15 pretty solid minutes.
Soon I decided that I should go on the road, go to clubs, maybe start making some money, so I went on a road trip with a friend of mine and we hit all the towns near Los Angeles. We drove from LA to Phoenix to Albuquerque, to Colorado, Utah, Vegas and back home. We had a great time and I would showcase in these clubs. I would basically get up on their stage, do five minutes and out of the seven clubs that I did a showcase at, I got five clubs to hire me. And what that meant was, they liked what I did. So, like six months down the line they paid me to come back out and be what’s called the Opening Act, the MC.
For someone who’s 21, 22 years old, it was a thrill. I was actually getting paid to make people laugh. After a few years, I had a plan. I had a focus. I can’t be the MC, the Opener anymore so my goal was to become the middle person, which is called the Feature Act. And in two years, I was able to acquire enough material, 30 to 40 minutes, to be a solid Feature Act. At that time, I also was at the Improv being an MC.
What I wanted to do there was learn from the best and I did. At that time, we’re talking the late 80’s, early 90’s people like Seinfeld was there, Ellen DeGeneres, Dennis Miller, Bill Maher. Some of the best were at the Improv and I got to watch and it was exciting and I learned a lot. And then, I realized I can be a headliner. I just have to get a plan. So I watched them and realized what made them great and that is they were distinctive. They found their voice. And we’ll talk about that in the later tape.
After a few years of featuring, I finally began headlining. And here’s the interesting thing. I was headlining, I had my voice, I was doing pretty well, making decent money and I started getting TV shows. You’ll see that I’ve done a couple “Evenings at the Improv” and MTV, some stuff on Fox and other cable networks and what was interesting was when I did the MTV, David Spade was the host. I thought this is great. I’m on MTV. I’m young. I’m cool. I’m doing TV shows. My friends are going to call me. Nobody called me. I got one phone call. Not from a friend or family member but it was from Julie Brown’s Production Company.
Julie Brown is a great comic actress and at the time she had a sketch comedy show and they brought me in, they liked what I did. Now, the show ended up going under but what was exciting is all of a sudden I was looked at as an actor. I got management out of it. I got an agent out of it. And I was going on these commercial auditions. And I kind of went through this whole circle of I wanted to be an actor when I first moved out, I found stand-up comedy and it led me to being looked at as a comic actor because I was really good at what I did.
And point of fact, I really don’t know much about acting and it was kind of funny, the first commercial that I did. I went in, no training and it was a laundry detergent and I’m working with this young girl and they say to me, “Give me your slate.” I didn’t know what they wanted. So, I’m like, “Nah, I don’t even know what you’re talking about.” Well, they think I’m kidding, so they’re laughing, thinking, oh, he’s a comic, he’s funny. Then, they said, “Who are you here with?” I look at the girl and I said, “Well, I’m here with her. She’s kind a cute but I don’t know her name.” Now, they’re just in hysterics thinking that I’m just a cut up.
The fact of the matter, I didn’t know what a slate was. They just wanted to know what agency sent me. And they asked me, I told them the agency and the casting director actually went up to the girl who had probably 50 times more training than I did and said, “Just follow Barry’s lead. It’s a comedy spot. He’ll know what to do.” And I’m thinking, follow my lead. I don’t even know what a slate is but that’s how it all came full circle for me.
I started out wanting to be an actor. I fell into stand-up again and when you get good at it, we’re going to talk about how the whole world opens up when you are really good at any one thing. And that’s my background and now that I’ve done stand-up and now that I’m doing stand-up, I never want to leave. I may get a TV show. I may not but even if I do, I will always come back to stand-up because it is the most rewarding thing that I’ve ever had in my life.
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4
What is Stand-Up Comedy?
So, what is stand-up comedy? Now, that you know a little bit about me, a little bit about you, what is stand-up comedy? Well, here’s what it is. Stand-up comedy is a dialogue. It is a dialogue between the performer and the audience. Repeat. It is a dialogue not a monologue. Some comedians are called limnologists. I don’t like that term because again, stand-up is a dialogue between you and the audience.
Even though the audience may not verbally be saying anything out loud, they’re speaking volumes. How are they speaking? Through their body gestures; they’re sitting like there, looking around. They’re telling you something. If they’re laughing, their eyes are on you: they’re telling you something. A lot of people take my class who are actors and they say, “Well, I’m going to do a comedy monologue for my show.” It’s not going to work. Why? Because the audience needs to feel as though you are talking with them.
There is an interaction. The audience needs to believe that by their laughter, their emotion, that they can move the show in a certain direction. Well, by definition of monologue, it is just that mono. It’s one. You almost put up a fourth wall. You say, “I don’t need the audience. My stuff is funny onto itself.” That’s fine, if you’re doing a Shakespearian monologue for a casting director. It is not fine for stand-up. I’ve seen people do monologues. It never works. Because again, the audience starts feeling, “Wait a minute, it doesn’t matter if we laugh, we don’t laugh, we move in our chairs. This person has a set prepared material and he or she will not sway from it.”
And if the audience feels you can’t sway from your material, why should they care? The audience needs to feel like a part of that dialogue. Stand-up comedy is not about jokes. It’s about giving of yourself. Talking to them. Again, jokes are not going to last simply because the audience will begin to say, “Wait a minute. They’re just up there telling jokes. They’re not really revealing themselves. We’re not having a discussion. They’re trying to make us laugh.”
The magic of stand-up comedy is when someone is on stage and looks as though they’re just saying funny things. “Hey, this happened the other day.” Watch a stand-up. You’ll always hear in their act, “You know I just went to the store the other day.” Well, guess what? They didn’t go to the store the other day. They went to the store five years ago when they wrote the joke. But the magic is making the audience believe that it’s dialogue. That’s why a lot of stand-ups actually are very good comic actors, because they’re make believe there’s that interaction. “This just happened. Oh, you know what? I was just outside and I saw this guy.” I wasn’t just outside. I didn’t see that guy. I wrote this bit two years ago. But the audience believes it. I’ve made it so they feel as though there’s this newness, this freshness. There’s this spontaneity, and that’s the magic of stand-up.
This is a very spontaneous art form. You’re saying things like they’ve just happened. They’re coming off the cuff of your mouth. “Hey, just…this is what I’m saying right now.” And the audience reacts to that and there’s that bouncing back and forth and that’s where that relationship comes in. So, it is not about jokes. I will sometimes see a comic say, “Here’s a joke you can take home.” That may get a laugh because again, it’s an old joke. It’s been around for 50, 60 years, you know. Two guys walk into a bar, ba-da-bing.
However, you cannot do a series of jokes and think you are going to sustain laughter. Try it. Go up to an open mike and do like 10 joke jokes. By the tenth, the people are going to be like -- you’re not giving of yourself. Stand-up comedy is giving of yourself and talking with an audience -- not just talking to them. People say, “Hey, tell me a joke.” “I don’t know any jokes. Actually, I think I know one joke.” Here it is and it’s a funny one but again, it’s not giving of myself.
Guy’s in a bar and there’s this little piano player playing on a little piano. It’s like 10 inches tall. He’s playing beautifully and next to him is a magic lamp. Well, some patron walks in, goes up to the guy, and says, “That piano player is like 10 inches tall. He plays beautifully. Where did you find him?” The guy says, “Well, I found him in this magic lamp. This lamp can give you anything you want.” The guy thinks about it. He says, “Well, how much will you sell it for?” The guy says, "$100,000." The guy thinks about it. Writes him a check right there for $100,000, takes the lamp, and thinks, “Ha, ha, what a sucker.”
He rubs the lamp and says, “I wish I had a million bucks. I wish I had a million bucks.” Boom! He looks around the bar. There’s a million ducks. Not a million bucks. There’s a million ducks. He goes up to the guy and says, “I asked for a million bucks, not a million ducks. What - is the genie deaf?” The guy says, “Yeah, what’d you think, I asked for a 10 inch pianist?”
It’s an old joke. A funny joke but you do see how clearly I’m just doing a joke. There’s nothing spontaneous about it. There’s no real connection with the audience and that’s what stand-up comedy is. It’s a connection between you and the audience. It’s a relationship. I’m going to talk more about that in a little bit. The other thing about stand-up comedy that we need to talk about is how it has to be interesting. So, when you start getting material, make sure it’s interesting.
Remember the game, rock, paper, scissors? Rock crushes scissors. Scissors cuts paper. Paper covers rock. Interesting always beats funny. Okay? If you want funny, tell jokes. People will laugh for a little bit but they won’t stick around. If it’s interesting, they’ll stick around for a long time. And we’ll discuss that in another section. But again, when you’re starting out, I’d rather have you be interesting than try to be funny because quite frankly, any good teacher can take something that’s interesting and make it funny. That’s the last step in stand-up comedy - when you’re teaching.
If you give me something interesting, I can make it funny. But I cannot take something that is not interesting and maybe funny and make it interesting. People want to sit and watch interesting.
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5
The 3 Elements of Stand-Up
We’re going to talk about the Three Elements of stand-up comedy. The first element is material. You have to have something to say before you even get up onto the stage. The material can be great, or it can even be so-so, but it should be something that you care about, something that you want to talk about. So, the first element is gathering material.
The second element is the most important: delivery of that material. So, delivery is element number two. And I’m going to give you a phrase. I’m going to say it now and we’re going to say it over the course of these next couple sections, and you’re going to be tired of hearing it, but it’s really important. It is not what you say but how you say it. I’m going to say that again. It is not what you say but how you say it. That’s what gets the audience to laugh. It’s really not so much the material, but how you deliver that material.
That’s what makes Jerry Seinfeld the best. He knows how to deliver the punch line. You can give a great comic average material and he’ll know how to deliver it so it gets laughs. I guarantee you, you give a bad comic or someone who’s not a comic, average material and throw them up on the stage. They will not know how to deliver the material. They will not get laughs. That will prove to you it is not the material. It is the delivery of that material.
Third element: audience. You need to have an audience for there to be a stand-up comedy show. There’s an old adage that says, “The only difference between a crazy person and a stand-up is an audience.” You know, that’s true. If you don’t have the audience there, who are you going to have a dialogue with? That’s often why when you watch comedy on TV, you think “this isn’t that funny.” Why? Because you’re not in the room. You’re not part of the audience. You’re at home. You’re distant. There’s a fourth wall. There are distractions. The microwave’s happening. The kids are screaming. People are outside… whatever is happening in your house, you’re not in that room.
If you’ve never been to a stand-up comedy show, go. It’s a completely different experience than listening to it on tape or watching it on TV. There’s an energy in the room that’s hard to describe. But the energy is there because there’s that relationship that we talked about between performer and audience. So you really need to be there.
Those are the three elements. Material: you need to have something to say. Two – Delivery: it’s not what you say but how you say it, and third, you need an Audience that’s there, and ready to laugh.
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6
Talk & Watch
As you will learn from this book, I want to talk about certain subjects. One is Talk & Watch comedy. You’ve already taken the first step and you’ve purchased this book: you’re trying to learn about stand-up. The best way to learn is through exper-ience. Go to some club. Go to an open mike. Rent DVDs. Watch comics. Talk with other comics. Do it in a positive way. When I say Talk & Watch comedy, too many times people are like, “Hmm, I see this person and I’m funnier than they are.”
Try to talk and watch with a positive attitude. The reason those people are on TV is not an accident. It’s not some mystery. They’re on for a reason. Try to figure out that reason. Now, you may not like them. You may not think they’re funny, but in point of fact, someone thought they were good enough to put on TV. So, you’re job is to figure out why. Talk and watch comedy. Learn.
One of my greatest experiences was when I was at the Improv being an MC. Again, try to keep your mouth shut as much as possible and listen. You can’t learn while your mouth is going. And that was really what I did. I just shut my mouth and I would get into conversations with some of the great comics. It was almost chilling because I looked up to these guys and I was in a conversation with Bill Maher, Larry Miller and Jerry Seinfeld. And I wasn’t saying anything; I was just 22 or 23 and I’m like, wow, these guys are great, but I learned a lot.
I learned how they watched an audience and how they developed material, and it was fascinating. It’s very important: if you want to get good at something, talk it and watch it. That’s your job. Learn about it.
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7
Attitude
When you hit the stage, you want to bring attitude. You don’t have to fake an attitude. You don’t have to fake being mad or fake being sarcastic, but you have to have an attitude, because again, you are giving off feelings and that’s what people connect with. It’s not what you say but how you say it. So, the feeling that you’re giving off is what people are really concentrating on, and either agreeing with or disagreeing with, but they are connecting with you with feelings. Okay, we’re going to talk about that in another segment but again, you have to have an attitude. Everyone has one.
I might say, “Well, my wife lost her car keys,” or I could say, “Yeah, wife lost her car keys,” or maybe, “My wife lost her car keys.” That’s saying the same thing three times but I said it with three different attitudes. One was kind of inquisitive; just, “She lost her car keys. That’s strange.” The other one was sarcastic. “Yeah, she lost her car keys. What a shock.” Third one was just mad. “She lost her car keys. I can’t believe it. I’m so pissed.” Have an attitude. Okay?
When you get up on stage, people connect with that. Don’t just get up there and talk, blah, blah, blah. People want to hear what you’re feeling inside and the only way to express that is to get it out through your voice, through your gestures, have an attitude. You have to. Otherwise, people are just going to listen to a talking head. Hopefully, I’m not just a talking head because I’m excited. I’m excited to be here and hopefully you can get that from the energy that I’m giving. ‘Cause otherwise I would just sit back and go, “Here is stand-up comedy. Lesson number one is this...” Who cares? If I’m not excited, how can you be excited? I love doing stand-up. That’s my life. That’s my career.
I want you to do stand-up comedy. I want you to enjoy some of the things I’ve enjoyed. So, again bring an attitude to the stage. As soon as you have that, people will connect with you.
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8
A Stand-Up Doesn’t Tell Jokes!
One of the things that I’m going to stress in this section as well as in the other sections is that we don’t tell jokes. Stand-up comedy is not about telling jokes. Jokes are for the office. If you want to tell jokes, go to the office and say, “Hey, I got a funny joke.” That’s not what stand-up comedy is. I’m going to say something that’s a little bit complicated but I’m going to say it twice so we all can get it. A stand-up does not say things so that he can tell jokes. A stand-up tells jokes so that he can say things. Sounds strange doesn’t it? What did he just say? Well, I’ll say it again: A stand-up does not say things so he can tell jokes. A stand-up tells jokes so that he can say things. What’s the difference?
The difference is this. The end result is really not the joke. If you just want a laugh, you can get a laugh. I’ve seen bad comics literally pull their pants down, tell jokes, old jokes like bar jokes and they get laughs. They’re not good comics. They don’t go anywhere. So, the end result is not just about the laugh. The end result is about saying things… things that are important to you. Almost like having a theme that you’re trying to discuss with the audience. Along the way, you have to tell jokes. You have to get them laughing but the end result is this thing that you want to discuss.
Now, this thing doesn’t have to have a great social relevance. You don’t have to be a great political commentator, although certainly Will Durst is one. You don’t even have to be a Dennis Miller, who wants to say things about society. I think he’s brilliant but you can be sophomoric. You can say things that are important to you that are silly.
Let’s talk about Seinfeld. He talks about the Minutia, but it’s important to him. So when he talks about being like Superman, or he talks about breakfast cereals, it’s important to him and that’s what you need to do. Don’t worry about the jokes. Anybody can tell a joke, almost anybody. But not everyone can say things that are important and at the end of their set have people say, “I got a good feeling. I laughed and I learned something about them.”
What you want to do is establish. You want to give a part of yourself. This is how I think. This is how I feel and give it to the audience. And that’s how the audience connects with you. They understand what you’re thinking. They understand what you’re feeling and they agree with that. So, it’s not just this fourth wall, “Hey, here’s a joke. Go ahead and laugh. Don’t worry about who’s telling it.” You’re selling yourself up there, okay? So go ahead, give a part of yourself and say things. Yes, we’re going to use jokes along the way, but ultimately we want to say something that’s important, important to us and hopefully the audience will agree.
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9
Know Your Victim
Stand-up comedy is not a victimless crime. There’s a victim in every joke that you tell. Often the victim is you, and that’s fine. Nobody’s going to take umbrage at the fact, “Hey, you can’t make fun of yourself.” But sometimes audiences will take offense when a victim is not an appropriate target. If you’re going to make fun of, say your grandmother, you’d better make sure she really deserves it, because audiences love grandmothers. If you’re going to talk about your cat, make sure you’re doing it in a way where the cat kind of deserves to get some punishment. I’ll give you an example.
One of my comedy students came up to me with this joke. It was an old joke, but I didn’t want to have to go into why it was an old joke because maybe he didn’t know. And he actually told me it was a true story, which is another thing I want to mention. Never tell the audience “it’s a true story.” They don’t care. Not only don’t they care, but what are you telling them when you say, “Hey, this is a true story”, what are you really saying? You know - the rest of the stuff, that’s all BS. I made that up. So don’t tell them “it’s true.” The audience believes pretty much what you say is true to some extent. They want to believe.
So the student comes up and says he takes this girl out on a blind date, takes her to a restaurant, the girl looks at the menu and she says, “I guess I’ll have steak and lobster.” And he says, “Well, guess again.” He also told me he never got a laugh, and he said, “Why?” And I said, “Well, you’re a jerk.” I told him that the girl’s not an appropriate target. You know, maybe she shouldn’t be ordering steak and lobster on a blind date, but your, comment of “guess again” is just rude. I told him “One -- you’re a good looking guy.” And he was. “Two -- he was successful,” which he talked about in his act; so all of a sudden this rich, successful, good-looking guy is telling some girl on a blind date to “guess again.” Just rude. I said make her an appropriate target, and then we’ll laugh.