Rejections & Desires…
by
AK Perera
SMASHWORDS EDITION
Copyright AK Perera 2011
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Rejections & Desires…
It used to hurt Raya before when Rajiv said no. The feeling of rejection was the worst. The burning shame she felt when she would reach out to him in bed and she heard the words “not tonight Raya, I’m tired...” was so hard to swallow. She used to turn away feeling hurt beyond words. This wasn’t how it was supposed to be, she had heard that men wanted sex more than women did, and all her friends joked about how she’ll have to keep saying no sometimes because that’s all men want. What went wrong? How did they come to this point? Rajiv was never like that before. He couldn’t get enough of her, and made her feel wanted and loved. He used to make her feel beautiful. It had been 6 months since they had made love, and now Raya didn’t care. She didn’t want him the way she used to before, and frankly she didn’t care what he did anymore.
Raya was sitting in her favourite place in the house, in her comfortable big chase lounge surrounded by her much loved collection of books. She stretched her legs clutched her warm mug of tea and closed her eyes. It had been a tiring day at work and soon she’d have to prepare dinner. Rajiv would be coming late as usual. She opened her eyes and looked at their wedding picture. The two people in there looked so happy. Raya met Rajiv 5 years ago, and it was just pure magic. Raya used to feel as if it was Rajiv who created the very air she breathed. He was everything she ever wanted and he loved her so much, gave her everything she wanted. He still did, except now it was just love and nothing else. She sometimes felt as if they were 2 best friends living in the same house. Raya kept looking at Rajiv’s dashing face with that beautiful smile that always managed to make her heart skip a beat. She kept looking at his face and tried to identify what she felt. She knew she still loved him, but did she feel anything else? She sighed and wondered again for the millionth time, what happened...