Don’t Laugh at my Cervix
By Jeana Byrd-Davis
Smashwords Edition
Published by Nick Davis at Smashwords
Copyright 2011 Jeana Byrd-Davis & Nick Davis
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Because courage is more than just a word
Foreword by Nick Davis
This is a tale not only of survivor of cervical cancer, but about life and how it happens to you when you are busy living it. This is the story of Jeana Byrd-Davis, a remarkable woman who I am very proud to call my wife. It is all in her own words, warts and all, not professional scripted; there is no ghost writer here. It felt it important that you read it raw, nothing hidden, this is how it all happened to her through her own eyes, so enjoy her humor, the love, the view of life that Jeana has. This is a bumpy journey and we are far from clear yet, but every day is a gift, and every day we get stronger. Ever upwards, ever onwards my Irish Princess, I love you, you are the bravest, more remarkable person I’ve ever known… Now with no further introduction I hand you over to Jeana and her story.
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Don’t Laugh at My Cervix by Jeana Byrd-Davis
I’m not sure where to begin. My husband, an avid writer himself, suggested that I should write this book and share with others my journey through cervical cancer. So, on his advice I’m writing my story of how I survived cervical cancer and everything in between.
I guess the best place to start would be at the beginning. No, not when I was born. That’s way too far back and really who wants to know about all that. That’s not why you bought this book. I mean the beginning of my journey through The Big C.
So once upon a time there was, well there was me. Certainly not a Princess and definitely no castle to speak of though; I do have a Prince Charming whom we’ll get too momentarily. My whole life changing ordeal began in 2007. Life was good; I had a great job, beautiful kids and a wonderful man that adored me (that’s the Prince Charming I spoke of). I even had started doing a little modeling work and had a few paying gigs. So yeah things were going good in my life for a change.
Over the summer of 2007 though a little issue began to crop up here and there. An issue that all too soon I wouldn’t be able to ignore. At first it was a little spotting once and awhile after me and Prince Charming made love which can happen. Then the occasional spotting turned into very often full on bleeding like a stuck pig after intercourse.
Mind you the occasional spotting could be easily ignored and explained away but the bleeding like a stuck pig could not. Not to mention how very unsexy it was. I had tried for months to ignore it or explain it away but I couldn’t anymore and after much pressuring from Prince Charming I made an appointment with my gynecologist.
Now some of you may be saying why the hell you didn’t go when it first started, why you waited so damn long. Well let me explain that I am one of those women who is always more worried about caring for her family and always putting them first and putting herself last. So yeah I procrastinated for awhile because who thinks oh I’m having some abnormal bleeding I’ve got cancer… Certainly not me.
I had my appointment now to the relief of Prince Charming and off I went expecting it to be nothing really...boy was I dumb. I met with my Gyn and explained to her what was going on and of course she wanted to take a peek under my hood so to speak….nothing out of the ordinary.
She took some swabs, because you know how much the Gyn loves taking those damn swabs. You know the ones where they say you’ll feel a little discomfort but really a lot of discomfort. Then she says everything looked okay but, (of course there is always a but), she was concerned about the abnormal bleeding I was having. So she wanted to put me on a course of antibiotics for a month and see if that helped and in a month she wanted to hear from me. If I was still having the bleeding she wanted to see me back in.
I left her office that day feeling good and thinking my problem was solved. I shared the details of my appointment with Prince Charming and he too was feeling good that the problem would now be resolved. If I could go back in time and smack us both in the head I would.
Needless to say, I got my antibiotics or rather horse pills pretending to be antibiotics. Not to get off subject, but is it really necessary for pills to be that damn large. With all the technology and science we have now you’re telling me they can’t make a pill small.
Back to the story, I took my horse pills and with each passing week I told myself that eventually the antibiotic would start working and the abnormal bleeding would stop that it just took time. Well before I knew a month was up, my horse pills were all taken and surprise, I was still having the abnormal bleeding.
Just like I was told, I called and made another appointment with my Gyn still even then thinking that it was nothing too serious and maybe I just needed a different horse pill to take. My ever optimistic Prince Charming also thought it wasn’t anything too serious. Again, if I could go back in time….
This trip to the Gyn was a little more serious than the previous and her face was filled with much more concern. She said that they had discovered from the swabs she had taken my last visit that I was HPV positive and that combined with my family history of cervical cancer she wanted to schedule me for a Colposcopy which would entail her taking a small slice of my cervix and sending it to be tested.
A small slice of my cervix?!?!
That is not a sentence that goes together at all. No small slices of my anything are you getting lady or at least that’s what I was thinking. I imagined at that moment me lying on a surgical table whilst she stood between my legs with a very large carving knife wearing a very manic grin on her face. Damn my active imagination.
Once I came back to reality, she went on to explain that while she didn’t think there was anything cancerous going on down there that she wanted to check just to be sure. Easy for you say lady, it’s not your cervix getting sliced and diced. But I of course agreed to the procedure, reluctantly I might add but I did agree because it’s better to be safe than sorry.
I went home assured that it was still nothing serious and certainly not anything cancerous because she said she didn’t believe that was what it was and her having a PhD and all I figured she knew better than me so I focused on that opinion. I discussed my eventful appointment with Prince Charming and informed him of impending cervical slice and dice and life went on as normal for the next few weeks.
The weeks flew by and before I knew it my appointment to be carved had arrived. On my way to the way the appointment, I did something really dumb…I know not a big surprise for those who know me. I had a few 7.5mg Hydrocodone left from when I hurt my shoulder and fearing the pain that was to come I took them. Stop screaming, I know it wasn’t the smartest choice but I’m still alive aren’t I.
A short time later I was in a special procedure room of the gin’s office, sitting on the edge of the table in my none too sexy backless gown. Then my moment of stupidity from earlier (see popping a few Hydrocodone in previous paragraph) came back to bite me in the ass….hard. The room began to spin and a wave of extreme nausea came over me. All I could think was great, the Gyn is going to come in here and find me passed out, face down in my own sick with my bare white ass hanging out for all the world to see. I sat there very still and closed my eyes tight and told myself I’m not going to pass out, I’m not going to get sick and thankfully within a few minutes it passed. Yeah, yeah I know…you told me so.