The Gentlemen’s Guide
To A Perfect Wedding
E Cybulski
ISBN 978-1-4658-5350-9
Smashwords Edition 1
Printed in the United States of America
No part of this book may be reprinted, reproduced, transmitted, utilized in any form by any electronic, or other means, now known or hereafter invented, including photocopying, microfilming, and recording, or in any information storage or retrieval system, without expressed written permission from the publishers.
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Table of Contents
Chapter
Bachelor Party & Bachelorette Party
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Planning a wedding is a very exciting time, not only for the couple getting married, but also for friends and family who want to share in this happiness with the couple. It is the landmark event introducing the new couple to the community. Contained within the pages of this book are the main steps and activities involved in planning a wedding which have been broken down into separate chapters. I have attempted to explain the preparation for a wedding from a male’s perspective.
Traditionally the wedding is considered the bride’s day, but the problems and difficulties are really the responsibility of both the bride and the groom. Contrary to popular belief, once the man presents the ring to his bride-to-be he is not off the hook until the wedding day. There is a much larger role he can play during the planning stage. The bride and groom are part of an “equal say team”; therefore both people should participate in decisions from the location to the flavor of the cake.
When obstacles arise you must work together to resolve them in a timely fashion before they have the potential to get out of hand. Be aware that some items may be more important to the bride than the groom and vice-versa. Communication is a key component to planning a successful wedding.
How many magazine articles have you read in a man’s magazine about tuxedos? I never saw one while we were preparing for our wedding. How much useful information have you been able to find on the purchase of an engagement ring? Much of the information I had was from advertisements, which are not very helpful. The information is skewed towards the bride, so naturally over time the groom seems to play less and less of an important role in the wedding planning.
I am confident that you will enjoy this book and hopefully it will make your wedding preparation more gratifying for everyone involved.
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The decision of buying an engagement ring does not happen very often, and when it does, you do not want to be rushed through it. Look for a jewelry store that is interested in you and what you are looking for, not one that is only concerned with the price of the diamond that you could afford. Up until buying our house the ring was the single most expensive purchase I ever made. It was even more than my computer, which had all of the latest high tech features. I often found it hard to justify buying a diamond ring, when even some of the smallest carat diamond rings can cost over $1500.
After looking at engagement rings myself, I decided we should both go look at rings. We had discussed the subject of marriage and rings prior to this, so it was not a total surprise to her when I suggested that we look at rings together. If you are planning a total surprise, perhaps talk to one of her friends to see if she has expressed any likes or dislikes when it comes to engagement rings. We walked into a number of jewelry stores and while she gawked at the engagement rings, I took note of the diamond cuts and settings she liked. During this time she explained what kind of wedding band she wanted. This made it a lot easier to select a ring that she would really treasure.
Diamonds are graded based on four characteristics: cut, clarity, color, and carat weight. For a more in depth explanation, see the chapter titled “The 4C’s Of Diamonds”. When two diamonds are viewed side by side, under a microscope, one can differentiate between their distinct characteristics. To properly understand the differences in diamonds, hold three of the four C's constant while varying a fourth C. This way you will be comparing “apples to apples and oranges to oranges.” As an example: look at two diamonds that are the same clarity, color, and carat weight, but a different cut.
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Diamonds are made of carbon and formed miles below the earth’s surface, after many years of intense pressure and heat. Setup in the 1950’s, GIA (Gemological Institute of America) announced a standardized grading system to the world it is referred to as the 4C's. The 4C’s: cut, color, clarity, and carat weight describe the diamond’s individual characteristics.
CUT Cut is the most important aspect of the diamond. The cut will determine the amount of light it will reflect and refract.
The cut of a diamond has a number grading system. An ideal cut is given a grade of zero (0). An ideal cut is a diamond that is not cut too shallow or too deep. If a diamond is cut too shallow or too deep, then light will not properly reflect internally. Light will exit on the side, instead of from the top. The greater the amount of light dispersing through the top, the more the diamond will sparkle. It will look extra appealing to the naked eye. A lower number means the diamond will reflect and refract greater amounts of light. For example, a 0 (zero) cut diamond has a considerably higher value than a diamond cut that has been graded 1 (one).
An additional aspect of cut is the shape of the gemstone. They can be cut into a variety of shapes. Round, which provides the most brilliance, is the most common. Cuts such as the marquise, pear, princess, and heart have also been used in engagement ring settings. Although, the cut is one of the most important things in determining the value, it is usually the easiest thing to decide. It is a matter of personal preference. You are buying an engagement ring, not as a financial investment, but as a sign of your never ending love. So choose something you like.
The art of cutting a diamond requires many years of practice to master. Two different diamonds, being sold by two different jewelers, may seem very similar, but one may be considerably less expensive. You, the buyer, are not necessarily getting a good deal because the rating of the diamond is more than likely different.
Color The color of the diamond is considered to be the second most important characteristic, next to the cut. Diamonds come in a range of colors from colorless to yellow. Diamonds are also available in other colors, for example: yellow, blues, and pinks. These colors are not usually used in traditional engagement rings; some shades are extremely rare, making them even more valuable.
As mentioned before, the Gemological Institute of America also governs the color grading system:
Grades D, E, F are referred to as Colorless diamonds. These diamonds are the rarest and most elegant.
Grades G, H, I, J are referred to as Near Colorless diamonds. Near Colorless and Colorless are hard to distinguish apart after they have been set. Diamonds that fall into this grade are commonly used for engagement rings.
Grades K, L, M are referred to as Faint Yellow diamonds. These diamonds have a yellowish tint and are relatively common.
Grade N, O, P, Q, R are referred to as Very Light Yellow diamonds.
Grade S, T, U, V, W, X, Y, Z are referred to as Light Yellow diamonds.
(The Gemological Institute of America can grade diamonds for a fee.)
Clarity The clarity of the diamond is the third characteristic used to determine the value of a diamond. The Gemological Institute of America's standards state that the clarity of the diamond is determined when viewed under a 10 power or 10X magnification. The value of the diamond will depend on amount and location of the flaws.
Clarity grades range from Flawless to Imperfect 3. Flaws in diamonds are also called inclusions. Many of the inclusions are caused by small amounts of minerals that have been trapped while the diamond was being formed below the surface. The price of a diamond is also affected by the clarity.
A brief description of the clarity grades follow:
Flawless (FL) – Diamonds receiving a grade of flawless have no visible inclusions under a magnification of 10X. Flawless diamonds are very rare and extremely valuable.
Internally Flawless (IF) – As the name implies there are no visible flaws in the diamond, but it does have some surface blemishes.
Very, Very, Slightly Included (VVS1) and Very, Very Small Inclusions (VVS2) – They are the next grade of diamonds. The imperfections are more clearly visible when viewed under a 10-power microscope.
Very Slightly Included (VS1) and Very Small Inclusions (VS2) – Diamonds have larger and increased number of flaws.
Slightly Included (SI1) and Small Inclusions (SI2) – Diamonds feature flaws that are more noticeable than in previous clarity grades.
Imperfect (I1, I2, I3) – Diamonds having flaws that are easily visible to the naked eye.
(The human eye can not detect between Flawless and two grades below.)
Carat Weight Last, but not least, the fourth characteristic of a diamond is its carat weight. Although, this characteristic is not the most important “C” in determining the value of the diamond, a lot people seem to think the bigger the diamond is the more valuable the diamond. Only in some cases is this true.
The truth is carat weight is the simplest diamond characteristic to measure. For example, a one-carat diamond is divided into 100 points. A 75-point diamond is called a ¾ carat diamond and is written as .75 carat.
Prior to purchasing a diamond, one should obtain a Gemological Institute of America (GIA) Grading Report. This is a third party assessment of the diamond in question. This will also assure you of the diamond’s characteristics.
When it comes time to start looking at buying a diamond, the jewelry store you chose should have a comprehensive explanation of the 4C’s in more detail.
Even though this chapter is titled "4C's", a fifth C has sometimes been considered. Various terms for the fifth C have been used. There is either Cost, Confidence, or Certificates. Regardless of the meaning of the fifth C, you should be aware of them. In a lot of diamond purchases, the cost of the engagement ring has played an important role in the decision of whether to buy a particular diamond or not. When it comes time to purchase an engagement ring, decide on the amount you are willing to spend before you go shopping for the diamond. It is easy to spend more than you intend to if the salesman works on commission. The salesman should have no problem finding you an engagement ring within your budget. If they tell you they can not help you, go to another jeweler. Do not change your allotted amount unless you deem it necessary.
In terms of C being for Confidence, how confident were you or are you in the purchase? Did the salesman respect your budget once you told them? If they did, this is a good sign. Salesmen who can not respect a budget usually work on commission. They often times seem to care more about the amount you are going to spend on the engagement ring, than your interests. Are you happy with the purchase as it currently stands? Would you make another purchase from the same place or would you go somewhere else? Would you recommend this place to your friends or family? If you can answer "YES" to all of these questions then you are very confident in the purchase. If you can not answer “yes” to all these questions, then you may want to take a second look at what you are about to purchase.