Five Secrets of an Exceptional Leader
Stan Toler
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Five Secrets of an Exceptional Leader
Author: Stan Toler
Copyright © 2011
Dust Jacket Press
PO Box 721243 Oklahoma City, OK 73172
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eBook ISBN: 978-0-9833528-0-8
Edited by Benjamin Unseth
All Scripture quotations are taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version®. Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan Publishing House. All rights reserved.
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FOREWORD
Leading is tough work. Anyone who has tried it for as long as I have knows. Leading well is even more difficult. To become an exceptional leader is one of the greatest goals in life, so your influence is one of excellence and of lasting impact. Being involved in the professional sports business for many years now, I’ve had the opportunity of meeting some very talented individuals. But big salaries, lofty roles and glamorous publicity don’t make a person great. Making an enduring mark with your life is more a matter of character and spirit than anything else. The big playmakers in life are the ones who help the rest of us aim toward a unified goal. That’s what leadership is all about.
Alan Nelson and Stan Toler are in the trenches themselves, but they also understand the difference between mediocre leadership and leadership with greatness. This is a must-read book for twenty-first-century leaders who want to lead with both soul and talent. Its narrative format makes it an easy read for busy people.
Leadership has never been more difficult—or more in demand—than in today’s world. Yesterday’s methods and mind-sets are insufficient. I encourage you to savor the thoughts you’re about to read. Don’t just ingest them like fast food; let them marinate in your mind and soul. They have the capacity to help you be your best and to raise the level of your leadership to new heights. I appreciate Alan and Stan for making the effort to simplify some of the most profound principles of what it really takes to be a great leader today and of the future.
JERRY COLANGELO
Director of USA Basketball
Special thanks to:
Deloris Leonard, Pat Diamond and Gina Grate.
Whether you’re in business, politics, education, ministry or community service, people are talking about the need for not only more but also better leaders. The rapid rate of change at the dawn of the twenty-first century has created a need for those who would lead at a higher dimension. Mere mental or physical manipulation doesn’t cut it anymore; organizations and societies have evolved beyond traditional modes of influence. People want more. Effective leaders in today’s world draw from five leadership realms, creating a synergy for change and organizational vitality. Throughout history many great leaders have led this way: with their heads, hearts and souls. In today’s world, this kind of leading is not optional if we are to be effective. Many of us are intimidated by these gleaming breathing leadership icons. Yet the principles by which they lead are within the grasp of most of us. For the roles which heaven calls us to fill, we have been given the ability to succeed.
This book unfolds a story of a contemporary sage who mentors a young “in over his head” leader. The author encourages you to eavesdrop on their beachside conversations and to capitalize on the journaling of Tim, as he processes the main points of effective leading from his mentor Paul.
THE LEADER’S MENTOR
Tim strolled down the long, empty beach, almost oblivious to the squawking seagulls, crashing waves and misty morning breeze. His head swirled with concerns about work. Months ago, Tim had been selected as an up-and coming leader within his organization. He had been promoted beyond his years, which initially gave him an incredible sense of exhilaration. Now, however, things did not seem to be going so well. What began as a dream was becoming a bit of a nightmare. He did not know what to do about the doldrums in his department. Notes he had written in his daily journal revealed that things were not sailing along the way he had envisioned. The excitement of his people was fading. No matter what he tried to introduce, it didn’t seem to make much difference. Although he would admit it neither to his superiors nor to those whom he led, Tim was feeling self-doubt. Why had he been promoted to a place where he was unable to excel?
Every weekend for the last month, Tim had been bringing his wife and sons to the beach. His stress and long hours at work were not helping the family, but everyone seemed to enjoy the away time, playing along the surf. The bustle of downtown San Diego and business centers of south Orange County, mere minutes away on the freeway, seemed far from this Carlsbad beach house. A friend of Tim’s gave him a break on the rent during the off-season. The getaway was quickly becoming a welcome escape from the pressures Tim was feeling at work and, subsequently, in life. He felt thousands of miles away. The virtual escape was temporary, Tim knew, but it was a welcome respite.
While Tim’s wife and kids slept, he got up early, prepared a mug of coffee and walked surfside. Even Southern California beaches, packed in the summer, are practically empty during winter Saturday mornings. These walks would last anywhere from 30 minutes to a couple of hours, depending on how much thinking got done. Why was his organization stuck under his leading? Why didn’t God give him the wisdom he needed and requested to be a better leader? Why do people always ask why when they are in a pickle? And why does God seem silent when you ask why questions?
Perhaps heaven was not into practical matters like effective leadership. Church, spirituality and Scriptures seemed so segregated from the relevance of work and business. Maybe God doesn’t really give us solutions for everyday problems—just the inner peace and hope to cope with them, thought Tim. But lately, he had not felt that peace or hope. His perplexing thoughts had stolen the joy he had recently experienced at the beginning of the new challenge. Funny how emotions ebb and flow like the tide.
As Tim walked around the bend of the shore on his way back to the house, he spotted an old man sitting on the deck of a cottage. He had seen the white-haired man a few times and they generally exchanged nods, waves or a brief hello. On previous days with the tide coming in, hearing each other had been difficult over the crashing waves. But today Tim thought he should extend his friendship a little further. As he came closer to the man’s house, Tim mustered a smile and waved. “Good morning,” he said.
“It sure is,” the man responded. “Nothing beats an early walk on the beach to clear your thoughts.”
The man’s disarming smile and penetrating eyes drew Tim over to the stairs leading up to the deck. “Yeah, it beats a therapist’s couch,” Tim answered. “My family and I are renting my friend’s house down the beach. We’ll be driving up from the city the next few weekends.”
“Forgive me for being straightforward,” the old man said, “but what do you think about when you stroll on the sand?”
“Oh, you know, just work stuff.”
“How are things going in your work?” the man inquired.
“Well, to be honest, things have been better. I received a promotion a few months ago; but lately, I just haven’t been cutting it, I guess.” Tim surprised himself for going beyond the usual “I’m fine” response with a stranger.
“Ah, that’s the challenge of leadership, isn’t it?” the old man said.
Tim climbed the stairs as if invited to the deck. “How do you know I’m a leader?” he asked.
“Come up and have a seat,” the man said, motioning to one of the wooden deck chairs with flowered cushions. “My name is Paul.” He stood up slowly and extended his hand.
“Hi, I’m Tim,” the younger man responded and sat down.
“I thought you might be a leader because I’ve worked with leaders for most of my life and, frankly, I’m pretty familiar with the look I see on your face,” Paul said, his eyes twinkling.
“So I’m not alone in my misery, eh?”
Paul laughed loudly. “Oh, every generation thinks it’s the first to go through the problems every leader experiences: perplexing situations, self-doubt, dealing with people and with frustrations when things don’t go as planned.” Paul leaned forward in his chair. “Plus the thrill of making a difference, of seeing your influence motivate people to accomplish what they could not do without your leadership.”
Usually Tim would have been irritated by Paul’s assumption about his situation, but for some reason he wasn’t this time. The old man’s nonthreatening style intrigued him.
“So, what did you do for a living,” Tim asked, “assuming you’re retired?”
“I’m very much retired,” Paul answered. “Most of my life I did one thing: I led.” Paul leaned back in his chair. “First it was in the military, then politics, business and eventually community and nonprofit groups. The last couple of decades, I’ve been a consultant to organizations wanting to develop their leadership. I’ve worked in large and small environments—both entrepreneurial and institutional settings. Leadership is pretty generic, though. The same principles apply to most groups.”
“Wow, that’s impressive,” Tim said. “Maybe I could pick your brain a little.”
“I’d love it. And you don’t have to worry—I’m retired, so I won’t charge you the big fees I used to receive,” Paul said with a smile, leaning forward and tapping Tim on the knee.
Tim grinned. “So even though you don’t know my specific situation, you believe that what I’m wrestling with is pretty common?”
“I don’t mean to dismiss your concern or claim to know your circumstances, but over the years I’ve observed that the problems of leading are quite common. Leadership is a natural process.”