Before
The Mist
A selection of poetry and lyrics
by Cindy
O’Neil
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Copyright 2011
Cindy O’Neil
ISBN
978-0-9730329-4-9
Smashwords Edition
Published by Cindy O’Neil
iEVEBEL
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PO Box 123
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Illustrations: Jeanine Hnatuik
Cover Photo: Cindy
O’Neil
Design/Layout: Cindy O’Neil
Proofreading: Stewart
Dudley, Stiff Sentences
Library and Archives Canada
Cataloguing in Publication
O'Neil, Cindy, 1967-
Before the mist [electronic resource] : a selection of
poetry and
lyrics / by Cindy O'Neil. -- Smashwords ed.
Type of
computer file: Electronic monograph.
ISBN 978-0-9730329-4-9
I. Title.
PS8579.N373B44 2011 C811'.6
C2011-902112-9
This book has been over a decade in the making. The idea and layout for it came to me in the 90’s; however it is only now that the timing is right to put it to (digital) print.
Many of the works contained here are songs that I have recorded. Any pieces that don’t have a lyric and/or music credit are poems that at this point, have not made their way into musical form.
I hope
that you enjoy the pieces I’ve chosen for you. There is no reason
to their order other than this is how they flowed together. May they
stir the creativity and humanity within you.
Happy
reading,
Cindy
For
Ken,
You are my best friend, the love of my life, a
gift from the Universe.
Great gratitude to the Universe for
life and all of my blessings.
Between
The Lines } This
section gives an intimate look at
Does One Win } This one took its time coming out
Feelin’ Strong } There are days in life that imprint on your psyche forever
Firewater } There is a song titled Pagan Love Song that I
in common? } This is the first song I ever recorded
To and Fro } Another product of insomnia, I wrote this while
Taped Conversations } We’ve all had them. No matter what you start out
Where & When } Being single is both celestial and arduous
Trust } This is a map of what I have come to call
Before The Mist } I believe that before we are born we know exactly what our
William } When I was little, my father and I would go
Sugar Ridge Road } Since I was 18 I’ve been saying that due to
Too Much Wax } There are a few things that consistently summon my muse
The Exeter Inn } One of my favourite pastimes is
Don’t Ask } This one had been bubbling inside for some time before
Junket to Plunkett } This is another result of my passion to play with
What We Are } It is incredible to have good
As
the potter moulds the clay,
and so we shape our lives.
Fighting
every day to make our niche,
for things to work out right.
But
what the hell is right we ask?
To speak my mind,
or wear a
mask?
To toil
all day and save for morrow.
Or soak up the sun and have to
borrow.
Either way how does one win?
Where does failure
stop?
And success begin?
As the
roller coaster rides,
and so we rise or fall.
Screaming’ deep
inside,
asking’ who I am and what do I want?
But what the
hell are we thinking?
Can’t even swim and,
the boat is
sinking’.
CD:
Flight
Lyrics: C. O'Neil
Music: C. O’Neil and /Sandra
Bay
copyright 1997, 1998 Cindy O’Neil
˜˜***˜˜˜***˜˜***˜˜˜***˜˜
I
cleaned out my closet the other day.
Anything I couldn’t use,
I
threw away.
All the old pain, worry and fear,
I’d been
storing for years.
Some strange sorta combat gear.
The
battle seems to be over now.
Funny it just happened somehow.
The
sky is clear, the water’s calm.
Emerging free and feelin’
strong.
The
shoes on my floor were battered and worn.
The paths they had
trodden,
had sure been torn.
All of the doubt, guilt and
tears,
I’d been wearing for years.
Threw em’ all in the
trash,
they’re outta here.
Lyrics
and Music: C. O'Neil
copyright 1998 Cindy O’Neil
˜˜***˜˜˜***˜˜***˜˜˜***˜˜
By
the Cocalala,
on a moonlit night.
Dancing by the
shoreline.
Your arms enshroud me tight.
Every sense is
heightened,
into ecstasy.
Soft warm waves flow with
us.
Caressing our naked feet.
Behold
Firewater,
Behold Firewater,
Behold Firewater,
it runs
through me.
Immerse
me in your kingdom.
Heal me with your eyes.
Speak not of future
promise,
may our frontier be blue skies.
All the flood gates
open,
dreams surging forth.
Soft warm waves race through
us,
igniting passion’s stream.
CD:
Flight
Lyrics: C. O'Neil
Music: Derek Stoll
copyright 1998
Cindy O’Neil
˜˜***˜˜˜***˜˜***˜˜˜***˜˜
Going
through old photos the other day
Boy to think of all the crazy
things we did
Funny how it all seemed so meaningful back then
But
time moved on and friend so did we
And I find myself wondering
Excuse
me
Who are you again?
And just what did we have in common?
Driving
in the car just the other week
Talking about repairs, the bills
and groceries
You said that you forgot to feed the dog before you
left
I look at you and as I shake my head
I find myself
thinking
Excuse
me
Who are you again?
And just what do we have in common?
Rushing
off to work for another day
Fighting to get there through the over
-busy streets
Caught off guard by reflection in a window
I
can’t help but pause
I know this face so well and yet
I find
myself wondering…
CD: in
common?
Lyrics: C. O'Neil
Music: C. O’Neil and Miles
Jackson
copyright 1996 Cindy O’Neil
˜˜***˜˜˜***˜˜***˜˜˜***˜˜
I
sit here listening to the morning song.
It vibrates to my deepest
soul.
A language so clear, too pure to be wrong.
Eyes closed, ears open, heart memorizing every note.
Only
doing what they know,
wings in flight to and fro.
Only doing
what they know.
Slate
light of dawn begins to come clear.
My eyes open, the picture now
whole.
They call, they answer, and all of them hear.
Hopes rising, ears open, heart memorizing every note.
Only
doing what they know,
wings in flight to and fro.
Only doing
what they know.
Lyrics:
C. O'Neil
Music: C. O’Neil and Andrea Hunt 2007
copyright
1998 Cindy O’Neil
˜˜***˜˜˜***˜˜***˜˜˜***˜˜
Would
you just please listen to me?
I ask for the hundredth time.
Don’t
shut off again.
Please hear me,
with more than your mind.
Your
eyes are far away,
it seems you care little,
of what I have to
say.
Someone
pressed record long ago.
Now it’s just rewind, rewind through
our daily lives.
Trying desperately, to splice in a new
line.
Having memorized the outcome,
of these taped
conversations.
You say
you don’t talk openly.
Because you think I’ll just get
mad.
That I never let you finish,
with any thought you had.
My eyes
are far away,
it seems I care little,
for what you have to say.
So I
will try not to think of a comeback,
for protection from what you
might voice.
If you’ll try to confront your emotions,
thereby
leaving us both a choice.
CD: in
common?
Lyrics: C. O'Neil
Music: C. O’Neil and Miles
Jackson
copyright 1996 Cindy O’Neil
˜˜***˜˜˜***˜˜***˜˜˜***˜˜
Submersed
in silk hot water.
Listening to Latin guitar.
Breathless from
rosemary aroma,
I dream of where you are.
Candles
birth wax waterfalls,
flames bewitched by the beat.
My heart
also enchanted
wonders when again we will meet.
Where
and when will you come again?
I may never know.
Where and when
will you come again?
True love I pray so.
Candles
birth wax waterfalls,
flames bewitched by the beat.
My heart
also enchanted
wonders when again we will meet.
A
primal ache deep within,
battles any common sense.
Desire
screams to be fulfilled.
My body begs your touch intense.
CD:
Flight
Lyrics: C. O'Neil
Music: C. O’Neil and Jason
Kendall
copyright 1998 Cindy O’Neil
˜˜***˜˜˜***˜˜***˜˜˜***˜˜
The
change has started.
The course is drawn.
It’s not for me to
stop it…
Trust
Yet the
mind won’t cease
to rant in query.
Rapt in its fashion to…
Strut
Doubt
moves in.
Latches to vision.
Ploughing willpower to …
Rust
Silence
ensues
the spark hits a fuse
launching me inward to…
Trust.
copyright 2000 Cindy O’Neil
˜˜***˜˜˜***˜˜***˜˜˜***˜˜
Leaves
off the tree
They’ve all fallen away
With such deep roots
You
think they’d wanna stay
Started so very fragile.
Need all
light, all love.
Energy boundless and free flowing
What ever
became of
Before
the mist
When first we wished
Of life in it’s purest
form
Before the mist
When first we kissed
Temptation
Sniff
the air
Search everywhere
Except where answers lie
Falling
and running
Scratching and cunning
Wondering why it is we can’t
fly.
Must it be so rare
Or from a scare
We glimpse so
slightly the other side.
Would a difference be seen?
What could
it mean,
If at all we tried.
CD:
Flight
Lyrics: Cindy O'Neil
Music: C. O’Neil and Carey
Parder
copyright 1997 Cindy O’Neil
˜˜***˜˜˜***˜˜***˜˜˜***˜˜
It’s
a bit over two years since you went away.
Often I’ve been sorry
I wasn’t there that day.
To have held your hand and looked you
in the eye.
At least to have said a proper goodbye.
But you
were all alone.
We were at our homes,
and had to be told by a
stranger over the phone.
William
died today.
We’re so sorry he passed away.
He went in his
sleep.
We are sure he felt no pain.
So we
tried to get along.
Patch life up and carry on.
Knowing we
couldn’t pretend,
the life that we knew had come to its
end.
Asking where do I go from here?
With this pain and all
this fear.
Now the last link is gone and I can’t go home.
William
died today.
We’re so sorry he passed away.
He went in his
sleep.
We are sure he felt no pain.
It’s
a bit over two years since you went away.
I’m sitting here by
the river on a sunny day.
Remembering all those times we watched
the stars together.
Fixing cars and cutting stones,
and
complaining about the weather.
CD:
Flight
Lyrics and Music: C. O’Neil
copyright 1997 Cindy
O’Neil
˜˜***˜˜˜***˜˜***˜˜˜***˜˜
My
coveralls, were way too heavy for the summer’s heat.
I sauntered
in, wearing a cocky attitude.
Pickin’ out my prizes, like a
carnival game.
The scene was almost through.
I demanded the
cigarettes,
and he asked for ID.
I pulled the gun and
piped,
this what you need?
The door opened for an instant.
A
man stepped inside.
Our eyes locked,
this was the wrong place,
at the wrong time.
It
wasn’t what I thought it’d be.
You cannot edit reality.
High
on Hollywood
didn’t do me no good.
All I’ve got to
show,
this short and twisted ride,
to Sugar Ridge Road.
Six
months later, cold steel wrapped around my wrists.
My sister can’t
stop crying as they marched me in.
The widow and her
children,
huddled in pain.
The scene was all too true.
My
lawyer argued the evidence,
and said, he’s just fifteen.
The
store clerk took the stand,
pointed directly at me.
The jury
stood, judge spoke.
Gave me forty-five.
My heart stopped.
In
a shot, my freedom was gone.
It
wasn’t meant to be this way.
Just a roll that I tried to
play.
High on Hollywood
didn’t do me no good.
All I’ve
got to show,
this short and twisted ride,
to Sugar Ridge Road.
Can’t
look my father in the eye.
Can’t bring their father back to
life.
Can’t ever go home.
Lyrics:
C. O'Neil
Music: C. O’Neil and Sandra Bay
copyright 1999
Cindy O’Neil
˜˜***˜˜˜***˜˜***˜˜˜***˜˜
Talking
to a friend the other day
I gotta tell ya she was in quite a
state
She said her man can’t keep no pace
Whenever they start
lovin’ it’s like he’s in a race
Too
much wax and not enough wick
That sorta scene is gonna burn out
quick
He wants to keep ya, better get that fixed
Too much wax &
not enough wick
Two
guys hunting ducks with dynamite
Thought they’d blow a small
hole in the ice
Seconds later the sight was pretty glum
They
blew their dog and truck to kingdom come
Too
much wax and not enough wick
That sorta scene is gonna burn out
quick
Wonder how people can be so thick
Too much wax and not
enough wick
Poor
little rich girl just wants happiness
Uses money to pass all
life’s tests
Can’t find a soul mate to share her life
Dies
with people saying she lived in such strife
Too
much wax and not enough wick
That sorta scene is gonna burn out
quick
Just proves that cash won’t always do the trick
Too
much wax and not enough wick.
copyright 1998 Cindy O’Neil
˜˜***˜˜˜***˜˜***˜˜˜***˜˜
You
can see the orchard sign a leap from St. Lo.
A pagan edifice hoards scrip of yore, where scads emerge to eye Athena rehearse the bolo.