A Chuckle From
Heaven:
Bible Stories In-Between The Lines
By Larry Beman
Smashwords Edition
Copyright 2011 Larry Beman
This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to Smashwords.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.
Table of Contents
1. Introduction
2.
Our
Story
3. The
Garden (Genesis 3)
4. Abraham
(Genesis 12-21)
5. Showdown
at Mizpah (Genesis 31:43-49)
6. Arguing
With God (Exodus 3-4)
7. Parents
(Exodus 13:21-22)
8. Pillar
of Fire (Exodus 13:21)
9. Gideon
(Judges 6-8)
10. Singing
Woman (1 Samuel 1-2)
11. Eli
(1 Samuel 1-2)
12. The
First King (1 Samuel 8-31)
13. Michal
(1 Samuel 18-19; 25:44. 2 Samuel 3:12-17; 6:16-23)
14. David
(1 and 2 Samuel)
15. Sarah
(The Psalms)
16. Be
Still (Psalm 46)
17. Be
Still, and Know (1 Kings 19; Mark 1)
18. Exile
(2 Kings)
19. Last
Thoughts (Esther)
20. The
Sailor (Jonah)
21. Immigration
Reform (Ruth)
22. Heaven
and Hell
23. A
Baby’s Crying (Luke 2:1-20; Matthew 1:18-25)
24.
Jacob’s
Friend (Matthew 1:18-25)
25. What
If? (Luke 2:1-20)
26. Son
of God
27. Herod
(Luke 3:1-14; Mark 6:14-29)
28. The
Invitation (Mark 1:16-20)
29. Furious
(Luke 4:14-30)
30. Our
Father (Matthew 6:7-15)
31. Barefoot
in a Pig Sty (Luke 15:11-32)
32. The
Jericho Road (Luke 10:25-37)
33. I
See (John 9)
34. The
Storm (Mark 4:35-41)
35. Resort
Town (Matthew 16:13-23; Mark 8:27-38; Luke
9:18-23)
36. A
Centurion’s Report (Mark 11:1-11)
37. It’s
Over (Mark 14-15)
38. A
Chuckle from Heaven (Luke 24:1-12)
39. Standing
at the Door (Acts 12:1-17)
40. In
Jail (Acts 16)
41. Dear
Paul (Philemon)
42. All
Things New (Revelation 21:5)
I was never cut out to be a “preacher.” Oh, I tried hard enough. I made every effort to measure up to what I thought someone standing behind a pulpit on Sunday mornings should be. What I got for my efforts was an upset stomach and a feeling of absolute terror every Saturday night. It took a long time to figure out, but the solution was relatively simple. I needed to give up on the idea that I would ever be the preacher of my “shoulds.” So I did.
Over time, I came to think of myself as a minstrel, a teller of tales. I found the Bible to be a gold mine of stories waiting to be told through word and song, and I couldn’t wait to tell them. The beauty of story-telling was that I didn’t need to be the “keeper of the answers,” as if I ever was. Stories hold “truth” in their own right; they leave it to the listener to sort out meaning and implication.
“A Chuckle from Heaven” takes a sideways look at the stories found in the Bible and retells them from a variety of points of view. To be sure, I did the necessary digging and research. Then, I let my imagination take control. What was David thinking as he lay on his deathbed? How would a sailor react to being on a ship with Jonah? What would a Roman soldier do if he stood guard on that first Palm Sunday? In the end, I did not find the stories; they found me.
Each story stands on its own feet. I encourage you to read them aloud. Wrestle with the reflection questions. If you want to dig a little deeper, gather a group of friends. Read the related scripture each day for a week. Come together to listen and respond to the story. You may even want to write your own stories. If you are a teacher or a worship leader, feel free to use them (but please give credit). It will be as you dig into the stories that they will come alive for you.
I hope you will find “A Chuckle from Heaven” to be as much fun and as inspirational and as challenging for you as it was for me.
Larry
* * * ~ ~ ~ * * *
Why do people read the Bible? Because it is far more than ancient history; it is our story, best told in first person plural, and it goes like this:
In the beginning, all was darkness and raging water. Chaos was in control. Life as we know it was not yet. But a breath hovered over the chaos, and that breath was the breath of life. This breath, which we also call “Spirit,” said, “Let there be light;” and there was light (Genesis 1:3).
Over time, God continued to create. Land appeared as the waters receded. Microscopic creatures appeared in the water, and then fish. Earth formed plants and animals. Then humans appeared on the earth. The same breath that hovered over the chaos breathed life into our souls.
We lived in a beautiful garden, as the story goes, but there is something in our nature that is never content with what we have. We wanted more. We wanted to be like the gods. So we ate the forbidden fruit and discovered, not that we were like the gods, but that we were naked and vulnerable. We left the garden to wander the earth, till the fields, and give birth.
Some time after that, God appeared to our ancestor Abram, who was later renamed “Abraham.” God promised the childless old man that his descendants would be as plentiful as the stars in the sky. God also told Abram to pack up his belongings and move to Canaan. So it was that we became a rather strange family. We were Isaac, and were easily duped by one of our sons. We were Jacob, who tricked our brother out of his inheritance and had to run away. We were Joseph, spoiled rotten and hated by our brothers, sold into Egyptian slavery, and later made something of ourselves. We were terribly imperfect, the whole lot of us, but God used us anyway, and something good happened.
Our story moved to Egypt, where we became slaves in pharaoh’s land. We begrudgingly listened to Moses and, after that fateful Passover, followed him across the Red Sea into the wilderness. We wandered through that arid land for forty years, following a pillar of cloud by day and a pillar of fire by night. We complained about being thirsty. Then we complained about being hungry. We worried when Moses was gone too long. We forgot who our God was and built for ourselves a golden calf. We stumbled and grumbled and basically found wilderness living to be hard going. But we also discovered that the wilderness places of our lives are places of growth and new beginnings. We formed a new society based on a new set of understandings. Our number one rule was, “There is no other god but God” (Deuteronomy 6:4). Everything else followed after that, including the command to care for one another. We entered the wilderness as freed slaves. We left the wilderness a new people.
Moses died, and we followed Joshua as we crossed the Jordan River into the Promised Land. These were years of conquest as we settled into our new space. Our Promised Land was a land of milk and honey, which was a way of saying it was a land of both hardship and plenty. We lived as twelve separate tribes for a long time, coming together whenever we were threatened by enemy forces. We left it to a series of powerful judges like Deborah and Gideon to make the big decisions for us.
The day came when we looked around and saw that our neighboring nations were all very strong, and they all had kings. We decided we wanted a king too. Saul was the first, and then came David and, after that, Solomon. David was the greatest of the three. He brought peace to our land, consolidated our tribes into a nation, and promoted the worship of one God. Solomon was the richest. He built our great Temple and constructed some magnificent buildings, although he did it on the backs of slave labor.
When Solomon died, our great nation split in two, with Israel to the North and Judah to the South. We entered a long period of decay. We began to worship all sorts of other gods. We made poor treaty choices with other nations. Prophets came along to warn us that we were sliding down a slippery slope to destruction. We chose not to listen. In the end, we were defeated. Our northern kingdom of Israel was annihilated by Assyria. Some years later, the great Babylonian army besieged our southern kingdom. We in the South were captured and became prisoners of war in a strange land some 600 miles away from home.
We lived in exile for 40 years. Babylon – near the place of our captivity - was a wealthy city, full of enticements. Some of us simply let go of the past and melted into this new culture. The rest of us remained in our encampment and pined for home. We believed God had abandoned us. In fact, we believed God’s home was literally in the great Temple in Jerusalem. When the Temple was destroyed, God was destroyed with it. To our great surprise, it didn’t turn out that way at all. God entered our exile with us.
We returned home a full generation later. We rebuilt our Temple, but life was never quite the same. The Greeks conquered us, and then the hated Romans came to town. We longed for a Messiah, someone who would rescue us from our plight and take us back to the days of David’s dynasty.
We found our Messiah in Jesus of Nazareth, but he was not what we expected. His kingdom was not like that of David. It was not marked by territorial boundaries. It included all God’s people, and it was recognized through acts of justice and compassion. What is more, our Messiah did not mount a throne but a cross. Then, most amazing of all, came resurrection. We discovered that God can overcome all darkness, even the darkness of the grave. We discovered that the evil of the world is never more powerful than the goodness of God. We discovered that abundant life is not only possible, but promised.
We came together after that to form a community of faith. At first, we were simply called people of “The Way.” Later we came to be called “Church.” We cared for one another and those around us. Through men like Barnabas and Paul, we began to get the word out. Others began to join us, even in the face of severe persecution. We talked about Jesus, and tried to sort out what his experience meant to us. Some of us even wrote his story down.
Unlike almost any good book, our story has no ending, just a series of new beginnings. Through it all, through all the ups and downs of human history and our personal history as well, our story is one that finds its footing in the God who keeps promises and who honors those promises with the words, “I will be with you always” (Maqtthew 28:20).
Reflect:
What part of this story was new for you? What surprised you? What did you already know? What questions do you have?
* * * ~ ~ ~ * * *
Chapter
3 -
The Garden
(Genesis
3)
Perhaps the story began something like this:
The children asked:
“Why does Daddy work so
hard?”
“Why does Mommy hurt so much when she has a baby?”
“Why
do snakes crawl in the grass and scare us?”
These were tough questions for any parent, but the old ones were smart enough to point the questions in the direction of deeper truth. They started by saying, “Once upon a time...”
Back in the days when life was perfect, humans and animals could communicate. They all lived together in a wonderful garden; lived as innocents, until that conversation.
One day, when everything was just perfect, the serpent saw the woman standing in the garden. The four-legged serpent was a wily old creature, so he crept over to the woman and asked a simple question:
“Did God tell you that you cannot eat the fruit from these trees?”
“Oh no,” she answered. “We can eat the fruit from any tree except that tree. God said that, if we touch that tree, we will die.” That wasn’t exactly true. They could touch the tree; they just couldn’t eat its fruit.
Why do you suppose she felt she had to stretch God’s laws? Why do we ?
The serpent chuckled a little, and eased her over toward that tree. She looked at it again, and she repeated, “God told us not to eat.” Only, she was a little less certain this time.
The serpent said:
“You know God is not really
telling the truth.
“You can eat all you want, and you won’t
die.
“In fact, if you eat it, you will know as much as God
does.
“You will even be like God.”
The woman was hooked.
The woman was hooked, just as we would be. After all, who among us does not spend a great deal of energy trying to be like the gods? Don’t we have a fundamental desire to be self-sufficient, not needing anyone’s help, including God’s? Don’t we want to be in control and in charge of our own destiny? Don’t we want to be powerful enough to direct the activities of our corner of the world? Don’t we want to be knowledgeable enough to make decisions and know for certain we have made the right choices? Who among us wouldn’t want to be like the gods, at least for a few days?
She was hooked, and she - quite literally - took the bait.
She picked the fruit (which was not an apple, by the way, but perhaps a fig). She ate it, and enjoyed every bite. Her husband was right beside her all this time, which makes you wonder what he was doing. He saw how much she liked the fruit. When she picked some for him, he ate it too – and enjoyed it as much as she did.
So it was that they committed their first sin - and ours as well. The sin wasn’t in eating the fruit; it was in trying to be like God. Who can blame them, really? How many of us try to eat that same fruit?
Knowing all about good and evil brought a huge surprise. Suddenly, both of their eyes were opened. The woman and man looked at each other as if for first time, and found out they were naked. As anyone knows, when you’re naked you’re pretty vulnerable. They didn’t like their vulnerability, so right then and there a new word entered our human vocabulary: Shame.
The woman and man chose not to face vulnerability. They decided to cover it up instead. They further decided to make themselves some new clothes. One story has it that they went to all the trees in the garden and asked each one to give them leaves for protection. No tree wanted to participate in their sin, and all said “No!” The only one willing to donate leaves was the fig, the one from whom they received the forbidden fruit.
The problem was that fig leaves were prickly and scratchy and terribly uncomfortable. So, there they were; clothed with fig leaves, itching and scratching as if they had full-body poison ivy, trying to cover up their vulnerability.
That evening the woman and man heard God’s footsteps as God took a nightly stroll through the garden. By then their bodies were rubbed raw by scratchy fig leaves; their souls were raw from embarrassment. So they did what only comes natural for any one of us: They tried to hide. They tried to hide from each other; they tried to hide from God.
Perhaps they asked themselves what we sometimes
ask ourselves:
“Wouldn’t it be nice if God didn’t know what
we have done?
“Can’t I just pretend nothing happened?
“Why
can’t I cover it up, and just make it all go away?”
They tried to hide. It was their second sin, and ours as well.
God saw through them, of course, as God has a way of doing. And God started to ask hard questions. But no one wanted to ‘fess up. So they started pointing fingers.
It was their third sin, and ours as well.
He said, “The woman YOU gave me: SHE made me do it.”
He tried to lay the blame on God as well as the woman.
She said, “Hey, it wasn’t my fault. The serpent tricked me, so I really had no choice.”
It was like saying, “I was deprived in childhood; therefore, I am not responsible for my actions.”
Of course, God saw through it all, as God does. The man and woman did eat the fruit. They knew it. God knew it. And that was that.
Responsibility is responsibility, no matter how you color it. And consequences are consequences.
God said,
“Here is what is going to happen.
You must leave the garden, and find your way in the world.
“Woman,
you will bear children. In birthing, you will experience pain. But
you will do it because of your desire for your husband.
“Man,
you will work the soil. You will fight thorn bushes and weeds. You
will sweat from exertion, and produce whatever you eat. Nothing will
be handed to you.
“Serpent, you will no longer have four legs.
You will crawl on the ground, and you will eat dust. Women and men
will hate you. You will strike at them, and they will crush you. Now,
go! All of you!”
Sin always has a price tag. Sooner or later, someone has to step up to the counter and pay the bill. It may be those who eat the fruit, or it may be handed off to future generations. But there is always a price to pay.
If you think this is the end of the story, you are wrong. There is still a postscript, an epilogue.
The man and woman began to slink away. They still wore their fig leaf wrap-arounds, so they were trying to walk and scratch at the same time. God looked at them, and God sighed. What a pitiful sight!
“Wait a minute,” God said. “You can’t go out into the world like that!” God removed their fig leaves, and God gave them clothing made out of soft fur. They had to leave the garden, but they would at least be comfortable in their journey.
This is a story about sin and its consequences, and it is more than that. It is ultimately a story about God’s great love and compassion. If you look carefully, you will see it repeated around the beginning of the AD’s, when God looked upon the world and realized there is no way humanity can accomplish its own salvation. Through Jesus, God showed us unconditional love as a gift with no strings attached. God only asks us to accept it.
The next time you teach a Sunday school class, or sit is a small group, or read a newspaper, and someone asks you a “why” question, don’t even try to give a straight answer. Just begin, “Once upon a time, there was a garden…”
Reflect:
What were the three sins in the garden? How do they compare with your own wishes, attitudes, and behavior?
* * * ~ ~ ~ * * *
Chapter
4 -
Abraham
Lyrics: Larry F. Beman
Tune:
The Gift of Love
There was a man named Abraham
Who heard the
voice of the great I AM.
He left his home and family
To travel
far to his destiny.
The barren desert was his home,
He spent his
years condemned to roam.
Yet still he trusted God on high
To
calm his fears and hear his cry.
He hoped and prayed he’d have a son;
The
years slipped by and there was none.
Yet God brings life from
empty tombs
And filled the ancient, childless womb.
* * * ~ ~ ~ * * *
Chapter
5 -
Showdown at Mizpah
(Genesis
31:43-49)
Prologue:
No matter how much we long for the peaceable kingdom, it never seems to arrive. In the midst of ever-present tensions, tempers flare, nerves fray, and battles begin. We wonder, perhaps: Is there no hope? Is there no way out?
An ancient story in the book of Genesis is a study in conflict: what causes it and what prevents it? It is a story of two men, their prides, their prejudices, their good, and their evil. It is a tale of slowly developing conflict that reaches its flashpoint in the hill country of Gilead. The result is a showdown at Mizpah.
Imagine now that two men stand before you. Their names are Jacob and Laban. Each will tell his tale. The first will be Jacob.
Jacob:
My name is Jacob! I stand this morning on a tree-covered hill in Gilead. Laban is coming up behind me. I suppose he is as mad as a hornet after what I did to him, but he had it coming! Let me tell you about it. I think you will agree.
It all began years ago in Canaan. I was living with my father at the time. He didn’t want me to marry a Canaanite woman, so he sent me to Paddam-Arram. There, I could be among my own people and pick out a wife. (Besides, I had recently tricked my brother out of his inheritance, and the atmosphere at home wasn’t especially good for my health – if you know what I mean.)
I met this woman at just about the same time that I entered uncle’s country . She was beautiful. Really beautiful! Her name was Rachel. I fell in love with her right away. When I found out she was my uncle Laban’s daughter, I figured I was set for life. I made a deal with Laban. I would work for him for seven years. At the end of that time, I could marry Rachel.
I worked those seven years and I received no wages for my effort. I only wanted the right to marry Rachel. I loved her so much that those seven years seemed like a few days.
When the time was up, Laban held a huge wedding feast for me. I’ll admit it, I got a little drunk. Actually, I was so drunk that I couldn’t tell the difference between Rachel and her weak-eyed older sister Leah. Laban knew this and, in the midst of my drunkenness, gave me Leah for a wife! When I sobered up the next morning, I found Leah in my tent instead of Rachel.
I was mad! I yelled at Laban; I ranted and raved. Do you know what that old fox did? He said I could marry Rachel - if I worked for him for another seven years.
I had no choice. I worked another seven years. I worked hard too, and it paid off. Laban’s herds increased. He became a wealthy man, and at my expense, I might add. Finally, I got my wish. Rachel and I were married.
Let me tell you, it is not easy being married to two women! Leah and Rachel became competitors instead of sisters, and I was the center of their rivalry. It went something like this:
Leah had four children right away, all boys. They were Reuben, Judah, Simeon, and Levi. Then she stopped having children. All this child-bearing made Rachel jealous. Rachel gave me her maid, Bilhah, and told me to have children through her. What could I do? You have to keep peace in the family, don’t you? Well, Rachel had two sons through Bilhah.
It didn’t work. Keep the peace, I mean. Now Leah grew jealous. She gave me her maid Zilpah, and Zilpah gave birth to two more sons. Then Leah became pregnant again, and again, and again, and gave me two more sons and a daughter. Then it was Rachel’s turn, and my son Joseph was born.
Now I had two wives, two maids, eleven sons, and one daughter. I began to need a little more income!
I went to Laban and asked permission to leave for my home country. He agreed, and told me to name my wages. I told him I would go through his herds and pick out the spotted and speckled lambs and goats. I would keep them, and he could have all the rest.
When the time came for the sorting, Laban tricked me again. He hid all the spotted and speckled animals in another pasture, leaving me with nothing.
I stayed a while longer and built a modest herd for myself. I began to see, however, that I was wearing out my welcome. When I built up enough assets, I left. I didn’t even say goodbye.
Now he is coming after me. I wonder what is going to happen. I know one thing for certain: God promised to guide me and, no matter what, I am secure in that promise.
Laban:
I am an old man. This son-in-law has stolen from me everything I hold dear. What he has done now is the last straw, and I am going after him.
It worked well for a long time. He is my sister’s son. He got into big trouble at home and came to live with me. He wanted to marry my daughter Rachel. Ah, she is a pretty girl. We made an agreement; he would work for me for seven years, and she could be his wife.
But I have an older daughter, Leah. She is not as pretty as Rachel. Weak eyes, you know. I had to take care of her too. Both girls need a husband. So, I manipulated things a little and Jacob ended up with both women.
I could see from the start that this arrangement was going to work out very well. Leah gave me grandchildren right away. Then it was Rachel’s maid. And then Leah’s maid. And then Leah. And then Rachel. For a while, we had a regular population explosion. I was a very happy man!
Then, Jacob asked to leave! I didn’t want that. Not only did he give me grandchildren, but he was a darned good farmer. He made me a very rich man.
Well, we agreed that he could take the spotted and speckled lambs and goats and go home. Like I said, though, I didn’t want him to leave. So I slightly manipulated things once again. I separated the off-color animals before he did and left Jacob with nothing. He had no choice. He had to stay with me. I was a happy man again.
Then Jacob began to trick me! I still don’t know how it worked. He managed to breed the herds so that all the young were spotted, speckled or black. He claimed them for himself. His animals were strong and healthy; I was left with the runts and weaklings.
I couldn’t stand still for that! I needed to get my herds back!
While I was deciding what to do, Jacob took his family and his herds and left me! He didn’t even give me a chance to say goodbye to my children and grandchildren. Before he left, someone performed one last act of injustice. Someone stole my household gods. My household gods, mind you! I suspect Jacob. I don’t trust that man!
Now I am going after him. Justice must be done!
I am, however, a little confused. I had a very strange dream the other night. In my dream, God told me not to say a word to Jacob, good or bad. I’m not sure how I’m going to get even, but one thing I do know: I must not disobey God.
Showdown:
The stage is now set. The two parties approach one another. Each has a serious grudge against the other. The air is thick with mutual hatred and suspicion. Such is the stuff that makes for bloodshed.
Laban approaches Jacob and lays out his grievances. Then he goes from tent to tent, ripping them apart, searching for his household gods, finding nothing.
Now Jacob is furious. He accuses Laban and screams his anger. Voices escalate.
Is it time for battle?
No.
A curious thing happens. Instead of coming to blows, they make an agreement – a covenant between them. Stones are gathered and a pillar is constructed. They call it “Mizpah,” which means “watchtower .” The pillar symbolizes an agreement made where each man will do what he says.
The agreement has two parts. First, the pillar becomes a territorial boundary. Neither Jacob nor Laban will ever invade the other’s land. Second, the watchtower is the scene of a three-way agreement among two men and God. They say to each other, “The Lord watch between you and me, when we are absent one from the other” (Genesis 31:49)
Neither Jacob nor Laban were saints. In fact, they were shysters. They played dirty tricks for personal, egotistical ends. But God watches over even the imperfect, blemished people of this world.
Jacob and Laban were both men of faith. God was on both of their sides. Somehow, they recognized it. That one simple belief kept them from killing each other.
Jacob lived to be an old man. His son Joseph was, in many ways, as devious as his father. Joseph was sold by his brothers into slavery and later saved the family from starvation, but that is a story for another time. Their descendents were as many as the stars in the sky and included David, Solomon, and Jesus of Nazareth.
Reflect:
How do you typically resolve conflicts? How does your faith impact the way you manage conflict?
* * * ~ ~ ~ * * *
Chapter
6 -
Arguing With God
(Exodus
3-4)
Got an argument with God? Got something you need to get off your chest, but you don’t think it’s right to talk to God that way? Think again! Two-thirds of the Psalms are complaints! And that’s nothing compared with what Moses did.
You remember Moses. He’s the one who led the Hebrew people out of slavery in Egypt to the Promised Land, although it took him 40 years to cover a hundred miles or so. It didn’t start out so well between him and God.
Moses was a fugitive who was wanted for murder back in Egypt. He escaped into the wilderness, met up with Jethro, and married the man’s daughter. He also took care of his father-in-law’s sheep. Then came that day when he was doing what shepherds do and ran into a bush that was on fire, but not burning up. He went to see what was happening and heard a Voice telling him to take off his shoes and stand barefoot on the hot sand; which he did.
Then the Voice told him about all the trouble the Hebrews were having back in Egypt. The Voice told him how the Hebrews were crying to God for deliverance and he should go back to Egypt and lead them to freedom, even though the head guy (Pharaoh) wouldn’t be pleased about the whole thing.
Well, up to this point, Moses was willing to go along. After all, he not only took his shoes off, but he prostrated himself in front of the bush. He knew he was in the presence of the Almighty. He just didn’t care much for what God was asking him to do. So they got into an argument that lasted for the better part of two chapters in the book of Exodus. It went something like this:
God : Go back to Egypt and deliver my people from
slavery.
Moses: Say what? You’ve got to be kidding!
God: I
will be with you.
Moses: Now, if I go back there with this
cockamamie story, who should I say sent me?
God: I Am Who I Am.
Moses: Right. Just suppose they don’t listen to
me. What then?
God: What’s that in your hand?
Moses: My
walking stick.
God: Throw it on the ground.
Moses: It turned
into a snake! How did you do that?
God: Pick it up again.
Moses:
Right. Okay. It’s a stick again.
God: Put your hand inside your coat and pull it
out again.
Moses: Aargh! My hand! It’s covered with ugly
spots.
God: Put your hand back inside your coat.
Moses: It’s…
better now.
God: Get my point?
Moses: I’m not a good talker. You know, I don’t
think of the right things to say.
God: I’ll teach you.
Moses:
Why don’t you send someone else?
God: Shut up, and GO!
I think God doesn’t mind a good argument. In fact, I suspect God would rather we speak our minds, talk about our discontents, argue our case, and even whine a little than to have us run away and hide. As someone once told me, “You may as well pray, because God sees what’s in your heart anyway.”
Reflect:
When have you questioned God? Were your questions resolved? What might God be asking of you in these days of your life?
* * * ~ ~ ~ * * *
Chapter
7 -
Parents
(Exodus
13:21-22)
Note: This story is best read with the grumpy voice of a discontented teen.
Parents! You can’t live with them; you can’t get by without them. But they do make some pretty dumb decisions sometimes. Like right now.
Here we are, out in the middle of this god-forsaken wilderness. We don’t have anything to eat and I’m starving! I haven’t had any food for days. We don’t even know where we are going except that we are headed for some promised land somewhere. Seems to me we are just going around in circles. And all because my parents decided to listen to this guy Moses. I wonder if they know he is a murderer.
Yeah, I know. We were slaves. We had no future. Pharaoh was using us as cheap labor to build his masterpieces of architecture. I faced a career in brick making, just like my father and his father. Anybody who got out of line was executed on the spot. Baby boys were put to death right away, except for a few of us that our mothers hid from the authorities. Times were tough. I know that. But was that any worse than what we have now?
Then along came Moses. He had guts, I’ll give him that. He walked right up to Pharaoh and told him to turn us loose. He even threatened bad things if his demands weren’t met, like plagues of frogs and bugs and hail; stuff like that. I don’t know why Pharaoh didn’t have him finished off right then and there. And here’s a weird thing. Moses has a speech problem, so he didn’t do all the talking. He let his brother Aaron speak for him.
Anyhow, Moses refused to take any credit for himself. He said this was all God’s doing. God wanted us to be free. I’m sure Pharaoh bought that argument! After all, Pharaoh had his own gods, along with a ton of advisors. Big surprise! No matter what Moses said, we were still slaves.
Then some really wild stuff happened. Bugs and frogs and gnats plagued the country. Even the mighty Nile turned to blood! My sister really freaked! I didn’t like it much either, but I didn’t tell her that. Moses kept saying it was all Pharaoh’s fault for not letting us go. Pharaoh wanted his cheap labor, so he just made things worse. Then came that really crazy night when we Hebrews had to put blood on our doorposts and get ready to leave quickly. I heard a lot of screaming and crying out in the city. I was scared! More scared than I’ve ever been. What’s going to happen to us, I wondered.