TWILIGHT WISH® MOMENTS
MAKING OUR WORLD
A NICER PLACE TO AGE
ONE WISH AT A TIME
Written by: Stanley F. Bronstein
With contributions by: Cass Forkin
Published by AIQ Press, LLC
Copyright 2009 & 2011
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ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
I would like to acknowledge the following people who have inspired me the most over the years, some of whom I recently met during my research for this book:
Cass Forkin, Gene Petrucci, Mary Farrell, Robin Kardane, Desiree Bleam and all the other Twilight Wish volunteers for their wonderful work toward making America, and the world, a better place to age. Special thanks go out to Gene Petrucci for having taken many of the wonderful photographs seen throughout the book.
Tasia Kavalek, a Twilight Wish volunteer, for editing this book.
Cass Forkin and I would like to thank all the donors, sponsors, volunteers and board members who have helped Twilight Wish over the years to make all the wishes they have granted possible.
Charlie “Tremendous” Jones for reigniting my love of books. While he is no longer with us, his spirit still remains.
My wife, Julie Bronstein, for being there when I needed her and for bearing with me during the writing of this book.
Table of Contents
Foreword - Paying Attention to Key Moments in Our Lives
What Is a Twilight Wish Moment?
An Inspirational Moment of Creativity
One Question Changed His Life Forever
The Four Key People Who Were There from the Beginning
Be Careful What You Wish For - You Just Might Get It
All Types of People Are Drawn to Twilight Wish
May I Have Your Attention Please?
I’d Like To Buy 101 Candles Please
This Man Actually Wanted To See His Dentist
It Doesn’t Take Much to Bring a Smile to the Faces of Others
Kids, Stay Off of the Carpet—It Has To Last 30 Years
The Joy of a Good Night’s Rest
Now Is the Opportune Time To Act
When It’s Just a Matter of Time
To Read or Not to Read—That is the Question
I’d Like To See My Family One More Time Please
An Excellent Opportunity To Teach Our Children
Helping Others by Giving of Yourself
He Taught These Children To Fish
She ALWAYS Put Her Family First
His Source of Warmth Was His Heart
Ladies and Gentlemen, We Have a Winner
Two Powerful Ladies With Hearts of Gold
Memories of Times Past and Friends Long Gone
Every Day Was a “Bad-Hair Day”
It’s Our D. U. T. Y. To Help Others
A Little Morale Booster Always Helps
Let’s Go Outside and Throw a Party
Still “Involved” After All These Years
She Stops to Smell the Flowers
Everyone Needs a Day Off Every Now and Then
She Gives the Phrase “High School Senior” a Whole New Meaning
They Dared To Dream Big Dreams
Would You Like One Set of Wings with That Order or Two?
Fasten Your Seatbelts and Get Ready
You Want Snow? But It’s 84 Degrees Outside
Life is a Series of Brand-New Adventures
She Got Another Crack at the Bat
He’d Like To Buy a Vowel, Please
Frequently Asked Questions about Twilight Wish Foundation
______________________________
Foreword
______________________________
Paying Attention to
Key Moments
in Our Lives
Can one specific moment in time change your life? It did for me. For some time, I had been feeling something big would happen in my life, but I had no clue what it might be.
Then it happened. What I’d been waiting for. In early 2002 my daughter and I were having dinner at the Dublin Star Diner in Dublin, PA. We noticed three elderly women finishing their meal. When it came time for the ladies to pay, they counted their one dollar bills and change in order to pay for their $4.99 meals.
It occurred to us that these ladies might not have much money and that their meal together was a “treat” for these obvious friends.
In the spirit of what was to become the Twilight Wish Foundation, we called over their waitress, gave her a twenty dollar bill, and told her we would like to pay for their meals. Although asked not to, the waitress told the ladies who had treated them. Surprised and delighted, these three lovely ladies came over to us. One lady asked us to stand. She gave each of us a very deep hug. The next thing she said changed my life and my daughter’s life forever.
We didn’t know there were people like you still out there. We thought you had forgotten us.
I didn’t realize it at the time, but within two short months, I came to realize that it was time to make a change in our world. It was time to make sure people started remembering our seniors once again, making our world a nicer place to age.
Making our world a nicer place to age—that’s what Twilight Wish Foundation is all about. A 501(c)(3) non-profit charitable foundation, Twilight Wish has been fulfilling wishes for seniors since 2003. Our mission is to honor and enrich the lives of deserving seniors through wish-granting celebrations that connect generations.
We connect seniors who have needs and special wishes with younger generations and socially responsible organizations. These generations and organizations have both ability and desire to make a difference.
Together, we celebrate, empower, and bring hope to the lives of the elderly, their families, and their caregivers. Through our good works, we bear witness to and acknowledge our elders, recognizing their importance in our society. We acknowledge the path they have forged for us: their lasting work, influence, teachings, kindness, and generosity.
We want our elderly to know that there ARE still people like us in this world, and that WE have not forgotten the ones who paved the path before us!
Twilight Wish hopes to inspire a cultural change. We hope to influence the way in which our world cares for our elders in need—changing our world from one where all too many seniors are forgotten and unheard to a world where seniors are treated with respect, dignity, and humanity.
To date, more than 1,200 wishes have been fulfilled, and hundreds more have been inspired.
I have witnessed, firsthand, hundreds of these wishes being fulfilled. There is nothing like witnessing a person’s lifelong dream come true. There is nothing like witnessing the validation of a person’s life. There is nothing like witnessing the joy and happiness that ensues. There is nothing quite like making what may have felt mundane feel extraordinary. These moments are the joyful, priceless, shining moments Twilight Wish celebrates.
Wish granting affects everyone positively: wish granters, donors, sponsors, volunteers, recipients, family, friends, onlookers, and caregivers. In fact, our logo reflects this shared, positive impact. On our logo, a member of the younger generation and a member of the older generation touch a star, representative of a wish.
What’s more, Twilight Wish hears positive feedback from people not present at wish-grantings. Whether these people hear about our work through the media, a friend, or family member, they all report—we’re thrilled to report—feeling inspired to grant wishes for important seniors in their lives.
If you never thought to ask an older loved one, “If you could have one wish, what would it be?”, it is my hope that you will do so now. You can make a difference in the lives of your family members and friends by asking this question…and then, by making something happen. In this way, you will also be doing your part to make our world a nicer place to age, one wish at a time.
I’d like to thank you, in advance, for reading our stories and sharing them with everyone who has a heart for the elderly. After all, we are all aging. Seniors represent the fastest growing segment of the United States and of much of our world. In the past, many people may have been “immune” from worrying about finances or other needs during their “twilight” years. But, as recent economic events have demonstrated, we never know what the future holds. We need to start making a difference now, for we all have a stake in helping to bring about a positive, worldwide cultural change for the elderly.
Thank you again for spreading awareness about the good works of Twilight Wish. We hope these stories bring you as much joy as we experienced being a part of them. We hope you treasure them and share them for many years to come.
May all your best wishes, and those of your loved ones, come true!
Cass Forkin
Executive Director
Twilight Wish Foundation
______________________________
What Is A Twilight Wish?
______________________________
What is a Twilight Wish? Dictionary.com defines the words twilight and wish as follows:
TWILIGHT - A period especially after full development, success. The time between sunset and dusk.
WISH- To want. To desire. To long for. To desire a thing to be.
A “Twilight Wish” is something seniors want, such as
• Desire for attention
• Desire for dignity before death
• Desire for validation of their life
• Desire for recognition of who they are and what they've done
• Desire to pass on knowledge, wisdom, and experience
• Desire to have fun
• Desire for entertainment
• Desire to fulfill a lifelong dream
• Desire to relive key experiences / reminisce
• Desire for humble comfort
• Desire to improve quality of life
• Desire to participate with their family again
• Desire to see friends and places again
• Desire to experience something new; something never experienced before
• Desire to be protected
• Desire to be cared for / to have no worries
• Desire for companionship / communication
• Desire to feel whole / to self actualize / to feel whole in mind, body, and spirit
• Desire to live life to its fullest
In short, it’s about DESIRE.
Unfortunately, seniors face more barriers than just about anyone in society:
• Lack of attention, for many people are busy worrying about themselves
• Lack of societal awareness of seniors’ situations
• Lack of programs that assist seniors
• Lack of caring
• Lack of individual empowerment (“I'm just one person what can I do?”)
• Lack of money (living in poverty)
• Lack of transportation
• Lack of access to services
• Lack of resources
• Lack of health (presence of illnesses and/or diseases)
• Lack of friends
• Lack of time (time is running out)
• Lack of protection—from neglect, abuse, discrimination, ageism, predators
• Lack of someone with whom they can discuss their problems
• Lack of people who will listen
• Lack of companionship (loneliness and isolation often pervade)
• Lack of things to do (boredom)
• Lack of governmental resources to address the problems
In short, these barriers are about LACK.
So, one might ask, what can we do about this situation? What can we, as responsible members of society –as responsible corporate citizens—do to help seniors fulfill their desires, despite the barriers they face?
I believe we have three basic choices:
• Ignore the situation and watch things go downhill;
• Maintain the present status quo where some things get done but WAY TOO MANY things do not get done; or
• Rise up, take action, and do something to help, improving the situation.
The choice you make, as an individual—as a responsible corporate citizen—depends on three primary circumstances:
• What priority do you assign to seniors? How important are they to you? Do you identify with the elderly? Do you realize you are also aging? Do you realize that when you focus on seniors you are actually focusing on yourself?
• What resources can you bring to the table to help seniors?
• How much time, energy, and resources are you willing to devote to seniors?
This book is being written to call attention to the DESIRES of seniors, the BARRIERS they face in fulfilling those desires, and what YOU can do to improve the situation.
The heart-warming stories about Twilight Wish, their wish recipients, their volunteers, their donors, and their sponsors will do just that. They will make you laugh. They will make you cry. But above all, they will make you aware of the situations faced by today’s seniors and convince you that you have the power to do something about them.
REMEMBER
You have the power to make our world a better place to age, NOW.
______________________________
What Is A Twilight Wish Moment?
______________________________
A Twilight Wish moment has several characteristics:
• Sharing;
• Giving;
• Receiving;
• Caring;
• Contribution;
• Appreciation;
• Recognition;
• Thankfulness;
• Respect;
• Bonding; and most important of all,
• Loving.
Yes, loving. I’ve struggled with coming up with as simple of a definition as possible for a Twilight Wish moment. After much thought, it can be summed up in nine words.
A Twilight Wish Moment Is A Moment Of Loving.
Twilight Wish moments are moments when a person gives of himself or herself or a group gives of themselves, NOT for what it does for them, but for what it will do for someone else. They are also moments when a senior receives (or a group of seniors receive) that gift. If those are not actions of love, I don’t know what actions are.
In the case of a Twilight Wish moment, the moment is about what one will do for the elderly. Why the elderly? Three of the best reasons are
• The elderly have already contributed so much in their lives; it’s about time they received something back.
• It is the elderly in our society who are most in need of our help. All too often, they are in a situation where they are no longer able to provide for themselves.
• It’s the right thing to do.
Stay tuned, sit back and enjoy the stories contained in this book. They are beautiful stories about beautiful people and beautiful organizations. It is my sincere hope that this book will rekindle an appreciation for seniors in our society.
After all, if we can’t appreciate
those who have come before us,
how can we appreciate ourselves?
______________________________
An Inspirational
Moment Of Creativity
______________________________
Cass Forkin’s Story
Creativity Is Being Able To See
What Everyone Else Has Seen,
Yet Think What Nobody Else Has Thought
And Do What Nobody Else Has Done.
(Author Unknown)
It was a beautiful, August night on the Ocean City, New Jersey beach. The year was 2000.
As it was growing dark, Cass Forkin set out for a long walk on the beach. The beach was nearly empty. Cass wanted to do some “heavy duty” thinking as she felt it was “time”, time for her to figure out what her next step in life should be.
She was thirty-nine years old at the time. It had taken her that long to get her degrees. She had run multiple organizations from a financial perspective and a director’s perspective. Despite doing lots of thinking that night, Cass did not come to any firm conclusions.
Then, about one and a half years later, she had her “lightning bolt” experience. That was the experience Cass outlined in the Foreword to this book, that of the love she experienced as the result of buying dinner for three strangers, three elderly women she had never met. (Please go back and read the Foreword if you have not already done so, as it’s a story you do not want to miss).
Cass realized, right then and there, that this was evidence of a generation gap. The elderly ladies didn’t know that any younger people were thoughtful enough to care about them, and though many younger people may be thoughtful, in actuality they all too often do not consciously act on behalf of seniors.
Cass thought about this for the next two months. During that time, she went on a vacation, a cruise with her sister. On the sixth day of a seven day cruise, Cass FINALLY slowed down enough to allow her creativity to surface. That’s what often happens to Type A, highly stressed people, as Cass claims she used to be.
In the middle of receiving a head massage, she realized what she was supposed to do. She had thoughts of a “Sunshine Foundation for the Elderly.” It would help people who have time to get things done (seniors), but often don’t have the money to make them happen.
Cass Forkin jumped up and told the woman giving the massage that she needed a pen and paper. The masseuse came up with a little pink piece of loose leaf paper, which Cass still has. Cass wrote down her ideas. During the remainder of the cruise, she spoke with a few people on the ship. Almost all of them told her that her idea was similar to the Make a Wish Foundation, but it would be focused on seniors. Cass summed up her mission in one sentence: My calling in life is to facilitate the granting of wishes for seniors. Cass had the creative spark, and her fellow passengers helped her to crystallize it.
Upon returning home in May 2002, she researched “wishes for seniors” on the internet and nothing came up. Nothing. The field was wide open. Cass asked herself, why wouldn’t we, the younger generations, honor seniors who have needs? Why is there a disconnect between generations?
Cass struggled with that question for a long period of time. Cass was in the middle of a divorce, and her daughter was getting ready to graduate from high school and go on to college. Cass had to figure out how she was going to pay for everything, all while suffering from the stress of running a multi-million dollar company that was in the process of phasing out its operations.
All of this time that little pink piece of paper sat on Cass’s desk. She kept looking at the paper each day but didn’t act upon the ideas written there. Yet, she kept getting reminders that she was supposed to start something new. She would get fortune cookies and such, all of which continued to prod her toward action. Here’s a sampling of some of those cookies:
One of the early problems Cass faced was that she couldn’t think of the right name for the foundation, and she couldn’t file any of the foundation paperwork until she had a name.
People were suggesting names such as “Silver Lining” or “Golden Hands,” but she didn’t want to use the words “silver” or “golden” in the name. People came up with hundreds of names, but none of them seemed to fit.
After entertaining many suggestions, Cass went to Six Flags Great Adventure amusement park in New Jersey. She was standing in line for the skyride, along with Gene Petrucci, another Twilight Wish person—key person—you will read about in this book. The sun was going down and it was just starting to become dark.
In effect, it was “twilight.”
Cass was looking up at the skyline and all of a sudden one of the “fuzzy” puff balls that comes off of dandelions went past her. When she was growing up, they always called those puff balls “wishies.” The wishie flew right over her head and off into the twilight sky. All of a sudden it struck her that the name of the foundation should be Twilight Wish in honor of a “wishie” that flew away into the twilight.
Cass turned to Gene Petrucci and said the name Twilight Wish and started jumping up and down. They both yelled in excitement because they knew they had found the right name.
Shortly thereafter, Cass had a vivid dream. As she awoke, she quickly scrawled out a written message to immediately start the foundation. On July 1, 2003, (the day after the dream), Cass began to put things in motion. From that point forward, everything started rolling.
Cass spoke at a local meeting in October 2003 where approximately twenty-five women were in the audience. Within a day, four of them volunteered to help her. Of those four, three of them are still doing volunteer work for the foundation.
Within weeks, Cass was booked to speak on television for five minutes on a program called “Comcast Newsmakers.” Cass hadn’t yet fulfilled even a single wish and she was feeling kind of “funny” about going on the air before fulfilling any wishes. She knew that she needed to take action quickly.
Having already received some wish requests through a friend who conducted group therapy sessions at a local nursing home, Cass had a place to get started. These wishes included
• Going to a dinner show;
• Having their hair done;
• Going to the zoo; and
• Getting a tombstone for a resident’s son who had passed away the previous year.
At the time, Cass did not know the identity of the wish recipients. Despite that, Cass would soon come to face with Margaret T., a resident of the Ivy Hill Rehab-Nursing Center in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. Margaret’s incredible story of obtaining a tombstone for her son’s grave can be found beginning on page 23.
Before Margaret’s moving story, there’s one more aspect of Cass Forkin’s story that deserves to be mentioned—the personal financial consequences of Cass Forkin’s decision to start Twilight Wish.
Cass had been working full time at both her paying job and the foundation for the first thirteen months of its existence. She had no personal time for herself. She felt like she was losing herself and that she needed to make a change. She knew the foundation was supposed to happen, but like all of us, she needed income to survive.
Cass began praying about the situation. During her prayers, she kept getting the feeling that everything would work out and fall into place IF SHE WOULD JUST LEAVE HER JOB. So she did. She said it was the scariest decision she has ever made.
Cass simply decided it was time and she walked away from her job, a high paying one. The day after she walked away, she was driving to Twilight Wish and she was thinking about the fact that she now had no source of income. She began to feel major anxiety. It was a bleary day and Cass felt bad. Once again, she prayed in the car and asked God to show her that she did the right thing; that she made the right decision.
As soon as she said that, a blue bird flew across her path. The blue bird, the color of a canary, is not typically found in her region. It was also the middle of winter, so most birds had already migrated south. There was a smaller white bird flying alongside, but a little behind it.
Immediately she thought of the “bluebird” of happiness and she immediately felt faith that everything was going to work out for the best. When she told the story to others, they suggested that the white bird represented peace or purity of thought.
From that moment on, Cass Forkin knew she was on the right path.
If only we were all at this level of peace about the life decisions we have made.
______________________________
One Question
Changed His Life
______________________________
That was a game-changing; life-changing play.
(Bryan Cox)
Gene Petrucci has been with Twilight Wish almost as long as Cass Forkin. He currently serves as the “second in command” in the organization. Having become friends with Cass a few years earlier, he was there to witness her “epiphany” when she came up with the name for Twilight Wish.
In the beginning, Gene’s participation was limited to helping Cass from time to time whenever she went out to fulfill wishes. On one such occasion, Gene went with Cass to a local nursing home to take pictures while Cass was handing out roses to seniors on Valentine’s Day.
Gene and Cass went up to a “white-haired” elderly woman named Kitty who was sitting at a table all by herself. As he recalls, Kitty had a very serious look and she didn’t smile at all. Cass gave Kitty a rose and Gene took their picture together. As they were leaving, Gene said to Kitty, “Have a nice day!”
Kitty looked Gene straight in the eye and said,
What’s a nice day?
Every day here is exactly
like the day before.
Gene was blown away. He was dumbfounded. At that moment he realized, “This is the plight of our seniors.” As he puts it, “Kitty became all of the seniors from around the country wrapped up in one person.” It was at that moment that Gene knew he had to do something more. From that point on, Gene decided that Twilight Wish was going to be the life for him—that he had to help Cass in any way he could.
When asked how he answered Kitty’s question, Gene sorrowfully admitted that, at that moment, he didn’t know how to answer her question. When asked how he would answer that question now, Gene had an answer. Gene would say,
Kitty, what is your dream?
What is the one thing that you have always wanted to do that you couldn’t do?
Really think hard about it.
Really reach into your mind, into your soul and into your heart.
Come up with THE thing that you would most want to do; the thing that you’ve always dreamed about that you were never able to make happen on your own.
Kitty, we’ll make that wish happen for you.
We’ll do everything in our power.
We’ll raise the funds.
We’ll make the volunteers come forth.
We will make your dream, your aspiration—whatever it is—we will
make it happen.
We will do this so that tomorrow
you don’t have to say,
“Today was exactly like the day before.”
Instead you can say, My wish came true and it was the happiest day of my life.
That’s what I would tell her now.
Gene may not have known what to say then, but it’s obvious he knows what to say now. Kitty changed Gene Petrucci’s life forever, and countless seniors around our world will benefit from that change for years to come.
Thank you, Kitty.
______________________________
Four Key People
Who Were There
From The Beginning
______________________________
The Beginning Is The Most Important Part Of The Work.
(Plato)
It was sometime in the early fall of 2003. Cass Forkin attended a networking “roundtable” held by the Women’s Business Forum of Bucks County, Pennsylvania; a new organization attended by many of the women business leaders in the area. At that roundtable, Cass Forkin stood up and shared her vision of Twilight Wish with the other women in the room. Three of them, Gina Rubel, Chanin Walsh, and Laura Fitton, were listening quite intently.
Gina says, “I remember being near to tears. You see, my grandmother had just passed. I had been helping to care for her over the past five years while she was paralyzed and living in a nursing home.” Gina looked at Cass and said, “You’re right. That’s what we need. That’s what this country needs. Seniors have laid the groundwork and paved the roads for us. Yes, that’s what we need.”
After the meeting, Gina, Chanin, and Laura were talking amongst themselves. The consensus was that they had to help Cass fulfill her dream. You see, all three of the women had different skills, all of which Twilight Wish desperately needed.
• Gina Rubel is a public relations expert.
• Chanin Walsh is a graphics and web design expert.
• Laura Fitton is a marketing expert.
The three women decided this was their way to give something back to society. At that moment, it was the right thing for them to do. Gina describes the moment as an epiphany–a moment when everything seemed to click. Anyone who has read my previous book, Achievement IQ Moments, knows that I refer to these as Achievement IQ Moments.
The three women all went to work, each in her own way. Within a few weeks, Cass was set for a television appearance the following Monday. One of the things Cass needed prior to the television appearance was to get her website up and running so viewers would be able to find the information they needed. Chanin set up a meeting with Cass and Chanin’s employer at the time, Andy Cleff. Chanin and Andy soon realized that Cass needed something set up, and she needed it pronto.
The only problem was that Andy’s company had already done its fair share of pro bono work for the year. Despite that, Andy and Chanin said, Don’t worry, we’ll get it done. So, after a long weekend, Twilight Wish had its website, PRIOR to Cass’s television appearance.
As for Laura Fitton’s story, you’ll find out more when you read the incredible story of Twilight Wish’s first wish in the next chapter.
Gina Rubel’s Contact Information:
Gina F. Rubel, Esq.
President/CEO – Furia Rubel Communications, Inc.
Doylestown, Pennsylvania
Phone: 215-.340-0480
E-mail: gina@furiarubel.com
_______
Chanin Walsh’s Contact Information:
Chanin Walsh
President & Creative Alpha
Brown Dog Design
New Hope, Pennsylvania
Phone: 215-297-8060
E-mail: chanin@brown-dog-design.com
_______
Laura Fitton’s Contact Information:
Laura Fitton, National Twitter Specialist
Founder and CEO
oneforty inc.
www.oneforty.com and www.pistachioconsulting.com
E-mail: Laura@oneforty.com
_______
Andy Cleff’s Contact Information:
Andy Cleff
Founder and Principal
Ampersand Design
Doylestown, Pennsylvania
Phone: 215-230-7650
www.AmpersandDesign.net
______________________________
Miracles Do Happen
______________________________
Miracles come in moments.
Be ready and willing.
(Wayne Dyer)
Margaret T.’s wish was the first one ever granted by Twilight Wish. As mentioned in chapter one, Cass Forkin was scheduled to appear on a television show, on behalf of the foundation, despite the fact they had yet to fulfill even a single wish. That simply would not do.
Margaret, a resident of the Ivy Hill Rehab-Nursing Center in Philadelphia, was eighty-one years old and wheelchair bound. She also had no teeth. When asked if she wouldn’t rather have a set of teeth than her wish, she said “absolutely not.” She didn’t want anything specifically for herself. Instead, she wanted to get a tombstone for her son’s unmarked grave.
One day, Laura Fitton, a financial consultant who has helped Twilight Wish from the beginning, called Cass from her cell phone and said, “Why don’t we go ahead and make the wish for a tombstone come through.” Immediately, Cass thought of all the reasons why it couldn’t be done; the main one being that she hadn’t yet received approval from the United States Internal Revenue Service. Without IRS approval, there was no guarantee that anyone’s donation of the tombstone would be tax deductible. Tax deductibility is one of the largest incentives a nonprofit organization can offer to its potential donors.
Laura told Cass, “It doesn’t matter. If the donor wants to do it, he or she is going to do it anyway.” Laura pushed Cass to go ahead and make calls on behalf of Margaret. In effect, Laura removed Cass’s boundaries as to why she couldn’t get it done.