Dr. Toy's
smart
PLAY
smart
TOYS
How to Raise a Child with a High PQ*
*play quotient
By STEVANNE AUERBACH, Ph.D.
(dr. toy)
SMASHWORDS EDITION
"Dr. Toy's Smart Play is the best tool out there for parents, grandparents, teachers and anyone else who wants to know the role of toys and play in childhood development. I've quoted from it in Baby Magazine and Parenting. My only regret is this book wasn't around when my kids were young."
J. J. Despain,
Journalist
"I didn't know there was so much left to learn about selecting good, quality toys. Dr. Toy's straightforward book is loaded with simple ways to maximize learning while playing!"
Vincent E. Kurr,
Toy Inventor
"Dr. Toy's Smart Play is one smart book."
Susan M. Lapinski,
Family Journalist
Former Editor, Sesame Street Parents Magazine
"Dr. Toy's Smart Play is a must read for parents and also an invaluable research tool. Not only does this book review toys but it educates parents to be a "Play Tutor." I highly recommend this book. It's not only informative but a fun read."
Russell Levine,
Content Developer, Daily Bread
DR. TOY'S SMART PLAY/SMART TOYS. Copyright ©2004 by Stevanne Auerbach, Ph.D. All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever without written permission except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles or reviews.
Smashwords Edition, License Notes
This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each person you share it with. If you're reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then you should return to Smashwords.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.
For information, address Dr. Toy, 268 Bush Street, San Francisco, CA 94104.
Design by Kristin Lock
Production for ebook by Sharon Skolnick-Bagnoli, srsb@VISIGRAF.com
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Auerbach, Stevanne
Dr. Toy's smart play smart toys: how to raise a child with a high PQ/
Stevanne Auerbach.---1st. ed.
p. cm.
ISBN 1-56767-652-9
1. Play---Psychological aspects. 2. Toys---Psychological aspects.
3. Child development. I. Title
BF717.A94 2004
649'1---dc21
97-41485
CIP
1 0 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
I wish to express my heartfelt appreciation to:
* the children I have watched during play, with and without toys;
* parents and grandparents who shared their experiences about their own childhood and their questions;
* teachers who seek to find balance in the classroom between the curriculum and spontaneous, enthusiastic learning through play;
* toy, game, and other children's products manufacturers and designers who strive to create safe and appropriate products for all ages;
* toy stores of all sizes and kinds throughout the world who provide the best they can offer to children
* professional friends who share their views, research and experiences on learning, play and toys;
* my daughter and grandson who have taught me so much;
* all of the people involved in Dr. Toy's Guide around the world my deepest thanks for your support. I am most appreciative of the support given by Staci Scheibel, Kazuko Nishita, Angie Niehoff, Ralph T. Whitten, Byron Troy, Tom Copley, Harpreet Sandhu, Douglas Isaacson, Dustin Buss and Andrew Levison, Esq.;
* journalists and interviewers around the world who have asked the right questions while seeking to support families to better understand the importance of play and toys; and, finally, much gratitude to:
* Jim Whitney, President, Educational Insights who always believed in and supported this book; Selina Yoon, Master Communications and Laurie Harper, Sebastian Literary Agency, who have helped me to reach around the world with our goals for Smart Play/Smart Toys.
SELECTED COMMENTS on PLAY & TOYS
Play is not automatic. It is learned! The importance of play for children has been well researched and demonstrated. For example, did you ever consider that play is one of the most important areas of activity in which children engage as they grow and develop? Did you know that play has been shown to contribute positively to a child's later academic learning? Did you know that play is one of the most important factors in a child's learning how to interact with other children? Did you know that language development can be enhanced through children's play? Did you know that the abstract thinking, developed through play, forms a critical basis for a child's later learning in school, as well as exerting a strong influence into adult life? Have you, as an adult, ever participated in imaging exercises? Did you know that there is a direct relationship between your own childhood play and your ability to image creatively and imaginatively project what should happen within your work organization or within your own family? These linkages become increasingly clear as you use this fine reference book. An entire volume devoted to the many nuances of children's development as seen from the perspective of children's play is both timely and very welcome. Throughout her book Dr. Auerbach describes, through many helpful examples, ways to develop and enhance a child's "Play Quotient."
Edgar Klugman,
Professor, Early Education, Wheelock College
from the Foreword, Smart Play (first edition)
Much more is being learned about play than we would have expected a decade ago. A new period of research on play is underway. The new work begins to suggest why play is the principal business of childhood, the vehicle of improvisation and combination, the first carrier of rule systems through which a world of cultural restraint is substituted for the operation of impulse…If the rule structure of human play and games sensitizes the child to the rules of culture, both generally and in preparation for a particular way of life, then surely play must have some special role in nurturing symbolic activity.
Jerome Bruner, Ph.D.
Child's Play
All children learn through active participation, by being involved in a practical way, and by attempting to do something themselves, particularly by using their hands. Montessori put great emphasis on this connection between the brain and movement: Watching the child makes it obvious that the development of his mind comes about through his movements, she felt. She believed the process of learning had three parts: the brain, the senses, and the muscles, and that all three must cooperate for learning to take place. To start with, they learn through play, through experimenting with things in the world around them---for example, the idea that water is wet, that it can be hot or cold, that it can be poured from one container into another, as well as lots of other things, will be learned by your baby or child through playing with water in the bathroom or the kitchen in the normal course of his life. This spontaneous play is initiated in response to his developmental needs. What you can do to help him is to arrange your home so that it can make available as many different experiences and activities as possible which are appropriate for his age. It is also important that you join in these activities yourself, providing encouragement and social interaction, and also be there to keep an eye on any problem situations that might arise.
Lesley Britton,
Montessori Play & Learn
Play must be considered a powerhouse of learning. Play needs to be given its due recognition. It must be measured eventually by insightful tests as yet not developed. Until the true learning power in play in early childhood is thoroughly and accurately researched, parents, teachers, and psychologists need to maintain their intuitive belief in the tremendous learning power inherent in child play.
Frank and Theresa Caplan,
The Power of Play
Toys are the tools of self-assertion. Obviously it is not always easy to tell when a child is exploring or is testing itself with a toy, but it is more likely to be revealed in highly repetitive acts with familiar toys than with the cautious examination of novel ones. Though we might call this activity self-testing behavior, the more frequent usage of the word "mastery" in the literature would seem to suggest its value….Toys echo these other patterns, and yet, as vehicles of intelligence and of play, they also have their own impact in myriad ways, all of which are much more deserving of our social scientific concern than has hitherto been the case.
Brian Sutton-Smith,
Toys As Culture
CONTENTS
Acknowledgement
Selected Comments on Play
Introduction
1 The Importance of Play and Toys
2 Baby
3 Toddler
4 Preschooler
5 Primary School Child
6 Older Child
7 Special Needs
8 Play Everywhere
9 Play Power
Resources and References
Also by the Author
About the Author
INTRODUCTION
Do you recall what it was like to be a child at play, excited about discovery, eager to learn? First came shapes, colors, and sounds. Then there were toys.
The toys a child plays with can unlock the door to learning, and each new experience helps to turn the key. How much did we learn through our play? How much can your child learn? You'll be surprised.
Take a moment and touch different objects around you---feel the textures: water, stucco, wood, plastic, glass, paper, fabric, skin, hair. Most of us have forgotten the sheer joy of such discoveries!
Listen to sounds: laughter, talking, music, traffic, planes overhead, birds singing.
And the smells! Take in the aroma of food cooking with spices, sniff a bouquet of flowers, inhale the scent of newly cut grass or freshly baked bread.
Listen. Smell. Touch. See the things around you as a child sees them. Your child delights in each discovery from the simple to the complex. A baby absorbs information by reaching and touching, exploring the world with fingers and toes and mouth, and making contact with people and things.
If you observe your child playing, you'll discover the learning processes he moves through at each stage of his development. If you are involved with these stages, you can experience the same magic your child is feeling.
As your little one grows, you provide toys to enhance his or her play. In this book I want to help you identify specifics that will bring results and to find the right toy for the right stage of your child's progress.
You will learn which kinds of toys improve observation and skills---and how to properly use these playthings so your child's thinking, feeling, self-expression, and physical dexterity are enhanced.
Our job as parents is to protect our children. I'll point out basics of well-designed, sturdy, and safe products. You'll learn what to look for when selecting a toy. You'll be provided with plenty of tips on how to introduce a toy to your child, how to gain his interest, and how to keep it.
You will find out how to balance your world with your child's play world and, most important of all, you'll learn to respect and understand the importance of play for children.
You are your child's first "Big Toy." So the more you know about yourself, your child's development, and her play, the more you'll be able to use toys and yourself as learning and skill-building tools.
Although learning follows a sequence of gradual stages, each child learns at her own rate. Children cannot be pushed, pulled, rushed, or hurried. By absorbing, practicing, learning from mistakes, but most of all through discovery, each will advance as his individuality dictates. This natural drive to discover through play becomes the essence of a happy childhood.
You will find out how to encourage your child's "P.Q.," his Play Quotient. As your child's "Play Guide," not only will you help your young one learn more, you'll also teach the skills to be happier and get along better with others.
You can easily enhance your son or daughter's "Play Quotient" once you know how to choose toys carefully. And I think you'll enjoy playing as well. A playful parent encourages a child to be playful---a more playful child is a more aware, smarter, and more resilient one. The benefits to the whole family are enormous.
And do I need to mention how your whole relationship with your child will be strengthened?
Let's get you started as your child's "Play Guide."
Let's play!
CHAPTER ONE
The Importance of Play and Toys
Children love toys. From the colorful mobile overhead that attracts a baby's attention, to the tower of LEGOs built by your little architect, well-designed toys stimulate your child's mind.
Young ones absorb messages from toys through all stages of their growth. The kinds of toys selected and how your youngster plays with them will influence how well she meets her learning potential. Choosing the right toys for her play is not easy. It can be a real challenge to find the right product, at the right time, for the right price.
And once you've done the above, there's the added challenge of getting the maximum value from the toy.
We've all heard about IQ (Intelligence Quotient). It is a classic predictor of your child's mental ability. I believe that your child's "PQ," his "Play Quotient," is an equally vital factor which affects how well your young one will attain the best of his physical, creative, and intellectual potentials.
Play is your child's work. Through play children practice the basic skills needed in the classroom---and in life. Guided play in the right environment will help your child gain the tools she needs to sharpen her thinking, and heighten her sensitivity.
To assist your child in succeeding with skill building, we will look at the different ways your child uses toys, and you'll become informed about finding the right toys, and skilled at helping your child expand his or her PQ.
How Toys Work
Research conducted by child-development specialists points out that the first five years in the life of the child are of the greatest consequence.
Many studies confirm the essential aspects of early mental, social and neurological development. Genetic factors are linked to learning and memory. Researchers have found that children who do not play and are rarely touched have brains that are 20 to 30 percent smaller than normal for their age. Researchers have found that toys stimulate 25 percent more brain synapses per neuron.
These early years are intensely formative: a period when children gain knowledge about themselves and about their environment, develop basic motor skills, discover many of their abilities, and gain the self-image and security that lasts a lifetime.
Like little sponges, children begin observing and absorbing from infancy. They learn by using all of their senses: sight, sound, smell, taste, and touch. Through observation, mimicry, and experimentation, children learn about the world around them and begin to gain mastery of essential skills.
When a parent is involved with a baby---smiling at her, creating silly and different sounds, making the baby laugh---the parent becomes the baby's first "Big Toy." Fathers who enjoy close contact with their infants soon are distinguished from the mother by the different ways they play. The baby quickly learns to respond to different persons' sounds and touches. Through such interchanges, the infant becomes conscious of individual people. Also, she becomes aware of the environment around her.
The secondary motor stage of child development occurs during these first five years. It is the time when the most rapid physical, emotional, and mental growth takes place. And at each stage of this development, a child needs different kinds of stimulation, enhanced by different kinds of toys and different play strategies.
THE IMPORTANCE OF PLAY
Play Principles
Play is a natural phenomenon. Before you examine the toys to be used by your young one, it helps if you understand the principles of play. Of particular importance is understanding that play enriches both sides of the brain---right and left hemispheres. Thus, the underlying principle of play, smart play, is that the child will gather essential experiences necessary for her fullest mental development.
As infants grow they play with innumerable things around them: their hands, their toes, sunbeams coming in through the window. At the same time they discover sounds; they babble and talk to themselves. They become conscious of the separate parts of their bodies; they make distinctions in color, light, and sound.
How children interact with people and elements in their environment is revealing. We should stand back and observe them. As we watch them play, we come to know their play process, the ways they get frustrated, their tolerance levels, and their curiosity and creative responses.
We want to be sure our children play with others of different ages and abilities so our own child can experience a full range of social interaction: patience, empathy, compassion, support, and honesty. The way he plays affects how he feels about himself.
A child plays alone, with other children, and with adults, and each style teaches him something different. Children help each other achieve increased degrees of sophistication. For example, children learn from other children by talking with and watching one another, by trying new scenarios, and exchanging information, even fantasies.
In the earliest stages, little ones play merely in proximity to others without being involved with them. They play alone and find satisfying activities for themselves. As they grow, they learn to share toys, give them away, and fight over them.
When children enter nursery schools, child-care programs, parent cooperatives, or have visits away from home, they are introduced to new children, different toys and playthings, and other styles of playing. As they discover how to handle these situations, children strengthen their confidence and gain new maturity.
Power of Play
Because of the power of play, you must understand your child's need to explore, to meet and play with other children, and you must try not to interfere with your little one's activity. Instead, serve as your child's "Play Guide"---observe, enhance, and augment her experiences.
When playtime is ending, for example, it is important to give the child enough advance notice so she can have time to bring the activity to a satisfying close. If we respect our children's playtime, the child is almost always more cooperative when they must change gears to eat, nap, or go elsewhere.
In play, children gain mastery over themselves and learn their own power in relationships with others. They grasp social values such as roles and responsibilities. They communicate better. They absorb concepts like making judgments. Each child expresses a unique style of play and the ways he plays when he is young reflect how he will deal with others during later life.
Allow your child to select his own form of play, as his choices are important for his individual growth. Rigid rules can be a damper to natural self-expression. As parent and "Play Guide," honor your offspring's early learning domain. Inherent to this is providing appropriate skill-building toys.
Advantages of Play
Play experiences help the child to:
* Gain an understanding of the world.
* Act productively with other children and adults.
* Get and hold the attention of others in a suitable way.
* Enhance the ability to concentrate, an essential skill before he begins school.
* Expand his natural curiosity, help his ability to solve problems, and foster spontaneity. These are each central components of mastering the learning process.
When children enjoy what they are doing (provided what they are doing is positive behavior), there is less need for your discipline or your worry. If they are having fun, children can play with blocks, construct buildings, or play with other children in mutual cooperative activities for long periods of time.
Adults sometimes forget the importance of play. Through their play, children tell us what they are thinking and how they are feeling. If there are problems, their play will reveal them. Play Therapy is an important way to treat children who are having difficulty with traumas, emotional issues, or other problems. You can better understand your child if you listen and watch her at play.
Before you look at the different ways your child can use toys, and before you become familiar with finding the right toys, I would like you to first think about the important place toys have held in your own life.
I created the "Childhood-Toy Memory Exercise" for many of my workshops with parents and teachers. It works well alone or with a partner. If you are doing it alone, you may want to tape the questions slowly and then replay them with your eyes closed. If you are doing it with a partner, each should take a turn at trying the exercise. Through the experience you will discover that, no matter how "adult" you are, the significance of certain toys and play events often remains vivid in your life.
Read this next section out loud. After asking a question allow plenty of time for you and/or your partner to think and for various childhood images to emerge. If you are doing the process, put the tape on pause.
DR. TOY'S CHILDHOOD-TOY
MEMORY EXERCISE
Close your eyes. Get comfortable and relax.
Take a deep breath.
You and/or your partner says the following:
"Let us return to your early memories.
"Imagine yourself as a child. Imagine yourself at play.
Do you see yourself inside the house or outside in the yard?
Can you remember a toy you played with frequently?
Can you see that toy?
"What is your toy's color? Shape? Size? Can you smell it?
Can you hold it and turn it over easily in your hand?
"Is it large? Small? Are you holding it tightly?
"Are you playing by yourself or with other children?
Can you remember how long that toy held your interest?
"Did anyone try to take your toy from you? How did you feel?
"Did you play with that toy for a long time?
"Do you still have that toy today
in your treasured collection of childhood things?
What happened to that toy?
"Open your eyes, and take a deep breath."
At this time think about the pictures evoked and think about or discuss what you remember with your partner.
Amazing, isn't it? That special toy you played with as a child still, for many of you, remains vivid in your memory. If a few of you do not have such recollections that, too, is significant. The lack of toys or memories of them affects us, too! Perhaps after this exercise you will better understand how important the toys are with which children play.
Toys (or their absence) are a formative part of childhood. Strong memories arise as soon as you allow your mind to return to your early years.
Sometimes those memories are painful ones of loss or anger. Many adults can remember the feelings of having a greatly loved doll or teddy bear suddenly pulled away or broken by a brother or sister. Or, perhaps, the memory is of never having owned a stuffed animal to cuddle. Long afterward they can still remember the pain of that experience, and their adult behavior and/or attitudes may reflect it.
If you recognize that you might have some disturbing feelings from childhood, endeavor to examine what happened. Try to forgive your parents, siblings, or friend for doing something that might have hurt you. Put that pain in perspective, and allow it to fade from your memories. In that way you will be able to move ahead with your current life and responsibilities. If this approach doesn't work and something is still troubling you, seek counseling. Getting to the bottom of it and working through old pain will allow you to fully enjoy the pleasure of playing with your own child, rather than using them as a substitute for your own childhood.
There are the happy recollections, too. Many people report the fun of building with their Erector sets, making towering creations, or building their first train layout that impressed younger brothers and sisters. You may be surprised to know that pride in such accomplishments can last long into adulthood!
Childhood is full of magical moments: receiving that first dress-up doll, setting up the tracks of that first train (or watching Dad take over!), learning to play jacks and ball, jumping rope, doing tricks with your yo-yo, sailing a wooden boat on a pond, having an afternoon tea party with dolls and little teacups, and cooking over your little toy stove.
These are some of the vivid pictures, fondly recalled, that rush by when adults watch their own baby in his crib. Their new baby playing with his toes or with their fingers, or trying to catch light coming through the window, sparks scenes from the parents' own childhood.
What toys will you provide to create those enchanting moments for your precious infant's future joy?
Certainly the basic function of any toy is to give pleasure to a child. Whether high-tech or old-fashioned, toys open exciting doors to fresh awareness. So, before evaluating or thinking about toys for your young one, try to think back to your own times with toys. It will strengthen the empathy you have---and need---for your child.
SOME QUESTIONS TO ASK YOURSELF
ABOUT TOYS IN YOUR CHILDHOOD
* Did you have a lot of different toys to play with?
* Did you have to share them with other chidren?
* When you went to preschool were there plenty of toys?
* Did you have good experiences with new playthings that you had never seen before?
* Were you able to figure out how to play with such items yourself?
* Did your parents help you figure it out?
* Did your parents ask you to be quiet often? Did you have a place where you could play?
* Did your toys break easily or did they last for many years?
* Did you enjoy playing with many toys? Only a few?
* Did you use toys to play games?
* Did your toys make you imagine wonderful things?
* Is a particular toy the reason you are now involved in a job or a hobby?
* Did you have a hobby or a special skill that you enjoyed? Do you now?
* Was there a special doll or train that you cherished?
* Do you remember building with blocks and construction toys?
If you do remember many of these experiences, then toys were important in your childhood. You have an appreciation for toys, a good memory, and you were an active player. You probably still are. So enjoy the rest of this book, and the playtimes you will have with your child in what can be a most fun "second childhood."
Power of Memories
Independently several architects have told me that playing with blocks as a child helped influence them towards their career choice---building with bigger and better blocks. Teachers told me how they can remember the fun of playing "school" and making a decision to teach. Writers recall creating fantasy dramas: tales of adventure with roles for everyone---even the dog.
Have you ever made a connection like that?
You have the opportunity to enrich your child with similar, powerful inspirations. You can provide your child with new sensations that do not rely just on products you buy, but on the high value you place on playtime. Creative playtime, whether it be with a stick a child has picked up in the park or a hundred-dollar high-tech game, is what is really meaningful. How the child plays and what he gets out of it are what's paramount, not the cost of the plaything.
A parent's role is a complex one: so many books to read, so many things to do and be responsible for---food, clothing, health. Equally complex is your child's social development. Of course, playtime is one area that provides the most fun, relaxation, entertainment---and educational socialization---for everyone.
During playtime, you can help your little one imagine whole new worlds. Throughout her life, such activities will stimulate her creativity, her sense of humor, her sense of balance and proportion, wonder, reasoning, social development, and much more.
As I examine with you the different stages of development and suggest types of toys for each stage, you will learn basic techniques to encourage your child appropriately. You will also receive many tips on how to clean toys, store them, shop, recycle and otherwise become a knowledgeable "Play Guide."
FINDING PLAYTHINGS
These days, going into any toy store can be overwhelming. So many shelves are filled with choices in every category! There are so many varieties today that any single store has great difficulty stocking all of them. The store's buyer has to discriminate and make careful selections. So do you.
To find the right kind of toys, you may have to visit different toy stores, department stores, gift stores, search catalogs and the internet and find stores handling secondhand, recycled toys.
You may start your search by visiting our World Wide Web site (http://www.drtoy.com) on the internet. Dr. Toy's Guide is our on-line magazine which offers articles about most kinds of toys and provides descriptions of over 2,500 of our selected best, award winning products, including toys, books, software, tapes, and more.
You may also refer to Dr. Toy's Smart Play Resources located on the site that we keep as current as possible with a selected list of suggested companies, web sites and much more. On the site are Internet based toy buying services to help you locate products.
I have carefully evaluated numerous items throughout the year to narrow the choices for the annual "100 Best Children's Products" awards, and the results are found in the Guide. Dr. Toy's Guide also includes features about after-school and vacation items, classic toys, and many other kinds of toys and play products. This service is free.
The Wish List
Look at the different types of playthings. Match them to your child's skills and interests. For example:
* Construction products–help develop dexterity and building skills.
* Board games–help children cooperate and learn with their friends. With your guidance they can also teach how to compete positively and how to deal well with losing.
* Puppets–help develop language skills and eye/hand coordination.
Dr. Toy suggests when you shop for toys:
* Take your child along at least once a year, but avoid the preholiday frenzy.
* Make an outing of it. Let him show you the things he likes.
* Watch what he looks at and is interested in. You will hear about items he's seen on TV or talked over with friends.
* Let him create a "wish list." Make notes and make a list of items.
* Get him involved in the selection process.
* Prepare your child carefully ahead of time so he knows that everything that attracts his attention may not necessarily be purchased. The skill of saying "no" gently but firmly---and sticking to it---is possibly a parent's greatest challenge.
Making the Most of Toy Shopping Experiences
For the child under three:
* Analyze what she needs before going to the store. Her attention span is short so you will want to narrow the different choices into specific categories.
* Give her the choice among two or three possibilities.
* Gather a few possibilities and then ask her, for example, "Which puzzle do you like?"
* Screen the products with the help of our guidelines. Giving your child several options is important to her learning process. This helps her become more discerning and self-confident by allowing her free choice while you exercise the necessary control over what she chooses from. By giving her choices, you show that you trust her judgment and she will become more confident and a more careful and knowledgeable consumer.
In each chapter we will discuss specific things to look for when selecting toys for each stage of a child's growth, but there are some basic points that you should remember for any toy that you buy.
Shopping Guidelines
What are some of the qualities to look for when selecting a good product?
DESIGN. The product must have been tested carefully by the manufacturer with the intended age group. The best possible materials should have been used in assembly. The item should be durable. The toy should be easy for the child to use and to keep clean.
QUALITY. Consider what materials are used to make the article. Is the product appealing in color, shape, and workmanship? We expect to get what we pay for but, unfortunately, sometimes this is not true and we are disappointed.
DURABILITY. How long will the selection last? Is it childproof? Can it be easily broken? A plaything should be long lasting, substantial, and made of good materials.
SAFETY. The toy must be tested by the manufacturers and by an independent laboratory. It must meet U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission Standards and the U.S. Government Standards of Safety requirements. See more details on toy safety later in this chapter and throughout the book. Check the web sites www.cpsc.gov and www.toy-tia.org for information.
PLAY VALUE. You will want a product that lasts as long as possible and has many different and long-lasting uses. Good examples of toys with high play value are blocks, construction toys, and yo-yos. The item should have clear instructions so you and your child are guided to its best use by the designer and the manufacturer.
APPROPRIATENESS. The toy must fulfill the usual play patterns for the child's age. Products that are too complex are easily frustrating. Toys that are too easy are boring. When necessary, show the child how to use the plaything properly. It's best, however, to allow your child to discover how to use the product himself, depending on his age and ability.
DR. TOY'S PRODUCT GUIDELINES
Another important way to look at toys is by evaluating their active, creative, and educational features.
Active playthings improve the child's physical activity and exercise. They help develop large and small muscles, eye/hand coordination, dexterity, and encourage children to learn and practice climbing, crawling, and improving balance.
Items that assist in active play include balls, bicycles, blocks, skates, punching bags, jump ropes, pounding toys, and ride-ons. Other active products include construction toys, adventure props, and manipulatives such as puzzles. Children do enjoy "destructive" play, which means breaking down or mixing up things like sand, clay, or blocks. Kids like to build up, take apart, and move things. Why not? It's fun!
Creative toys stimulate the child's imagination at all levels. She can experience surprise, can expand her thinking, and she will be encouraged in self-expression.
Examples of creative toy products are blocks, crafts, dollhouses, mirrors, musical instruments, puppets, stuffed animals, and art supplies. You will also want to select items to foster the child's dramatic ability, social skills, and artistic development. Puppets, games and cooperative activities help children to interact with each other, while being considerate and taking turns may be fostered with baby dolls and jump ropes.
The educational aspects of a toy help a child learn specific skills, and sometimes several skills at once. Any toy can be educational if the child is shown how to use it in an enriching way. The right object can help with reading and writing, and can build skills which prepare the child for science and counting. You will want a balance of playthings to stimulate your child's mental abilities, challenge his thinking, and help him in problem solving.
Some items which contribute in the educational arena are board games, blocks, books, checkers, construction toys, pegboards, puzzles, science projects, hobbies (stamps or coin collecting), software, CD's, audio- and videotapes, microscopes, telescopes, and other special equipment.
Certainly you, as "Play Guide," must think about future school participation, after-school activities, vacation times, sickness and other encounters the child will have. How can you assure that the toys he plays with now will help ready him for future demands? The answers are in this book.
Some basic questions to ask before you buy any toy:
DR. TOY'S TIPS ON SELECTING TOYS AND OTHER CHILDREN'S PRODUCTS
1. Is the toy safe? Are there any potential hazards? Is the product too small? Any sharp edges or loose ties? Is it non-toxic? Durable? Will it take rough treatment? Does it meet Consumer Product Safety Standards? Is there a guarantee on the product?
2. Is the product fun? A toy or children's product is supposed to entertain the child. It should amuse, delight, excite, and be enjoyable.
3. Is the product appropriate? Is this toy or product significant now? Does it fit the child's age, skills, and abilities? Will it hold his interest? Will he use the product happily?
4. Is the product well designed? Is it easy to use? Does it look good? Feel good?
5. Is the product versatile? Is there more than one use for the product?
6. Is the product durable? Will it be something that will last a long time? Children play hard and subject their toys to a lot of abuse and wear.
7. Is the product appealing to the child? Does it offer an opportunity for fun, to learn, and to think? Does it help her learn about her living environment? Is the toy or product inviting?
8. Will the product help the child expand his creativity? With the right products the child can expand his imagination in art, crafts, hobbies, language, reading, music, movement, and drama.
9. Will the toy frustrate or challenge the child? Does the toy offer something new to learn, to practice, or try? Will the child know how to use the product? Or, will it be too difficult to use without adult assistance?
10. Does the product match the package and the package match the product? If the toy does not match ads or packaging, it can be disappointing. Is age-grading clear? Is the item in the store like the product shown in the print or television advertisement?
11. Will the toy help nurture childhood? Does the product help the child express emotions, experience concern for others, practice positive social interaction? Does it provide value to her childhood? Or are there any violent, sexist, or other negative aspects to the product?
12. What will the toy teach? Does it help expand positive self-esteem, values, understanding, cultural awareness? Does it offer practice in skill building? Eye/hand coordination? Fine and large motor skills? Communication? Does it educate the child about the environment? The community? The world? About History? Computers? Other skills?
13. Can the product be cleaned and reused? If it is not washable, can it be cleaned in some practical way?
14. Can I afford this toy? Does the price match the value received?
Dr. Toy's Safety Tips
When selecting toys you want to be certain that all safety standards have been met. Check that the toy's age range on the package is appropriate for your child. Make a note about the manufacturer and the name of the product in your Playbook (described in greater detail later in this chapter). If the company has a customer service number, jot it down. If there is any problem, you can report it or call for replacement information.
Be especially careful about objects designed for children under three years. Protect your toddler in every way, not only with the toys you buy, but also with tiny things in the house he can grab and put in his mouth.
The following tips are important; please review them carefully and keep your child's safety in mind at all times.
DR. TOY'S SAFETY TIPS ON TOYS
To make sure your child's toys are safe be sure to check for these potential problems before you buy a toy and recheck all of your child's toys from time to time.
* No sharp edges.
* No loose ties.
* No little pieces that can be loosened.
* No small objects for children under three.
* Always confirm any paint, like finger paint, is nontoxic.
* Check reliability of the company and store where you purchase your toy.
* Buy toys from a store that you know and trust.
* Buy from a company that guarantees its product and confirms that each product produced has been carefully tested for being appropriate to your child's developmental stage.
Problems with a toy should be brought to the store's attention. Tell the manager about any defects; the store will want to know. If the toy is faulty, you should obtain a refund or be helped to locate a substitute. Remember to keep receipts.
The Economics of Toys
Toys can be expensive. Buying good toys, however, does not have to cost a fortune if you select carefully. Purchasing a lot of things that only sit around unused makes no sense. You want interest and use. You want to be economical and buy smart. Use your time for wise toy buying. You can provide your child with many experiences that do not dent your pocketbook.
Some toys will be used over and over again, and you will discover that these toys are meeting some special needs in your son or daughter. Items that become ragged with use over the years (with great resistance to their being replaced!) are often stuffed animals, a doll---perhaps a rag doll like Raggedy Ann---and certain books. Action toys like scooters, a wagon, or a sled are given up reluctantly as the child's size increases.
Such playthings prorate to a negligible cost over the years, but more importantly, their value increases far beyond any dollar amount. For example:
* Your child's emotional development will be enhanced when he plays with soft, cuddly toys.
* Mentally, she will be strengthened when she has a variety of books to stretch her mind.
* Physically, she will be empowered when she has a push-pull toy to walk and steer ahead of herself.
* Creatively, he can grow when he uses finger or water paints with which to color.
In addition to toys, many objects around the house can be used for learning, such as measuring cups, pots and pans, wooden spoons, plastic bowls, or such complementary things as fabric, shells, and pinecones, which make for lots of merriment and are inexpensive playthings.
For example, you can drape an intriguing, washable fabric on an old bridge table and create a great playhouse.
Shells and pinecones are great props for that handmade shack built on a desert island after a shipwreck.
The dining room chairs, tip-tilted in strategic ways, form a wonderful castle or, perhaps, Merlin's Cave, or a clubhouse.
Play itself does not cost money. Play is built on common sense and imagination.
Toys Teach
Consider these examples of the way toys teach:
* The child's first sense of color, shape, size, and weight comes from manipulating products like puzzles and shape sorters.
* Children test and figure things out with projects like assembling models.
* The child learns concentration playing card and other games.
* While playing with blocks, the child gains skills needed for reading and math. He also learns about balance and selection---decision-making by shape and size. And he learns about the need to adapt and to be flexible when he realizes he must make changes. He is also being creative and adaptive in fitting pieces together in new forms and shapes.
* Foam bats or bop bags (knock down they return upright) are useful in showing an acceptable way to vent angry or frustrated feelings.
* Sorting, choosing, and trying various shaped puzzle pieces and puzzle blocks heightens understanding of dissimilar sizes and how they can relate. This activity also gives significance to differentiating colors.
* Games such as ring toss improve dexterity and focus.
* Puppets expand communication skills.
* Board games can improve social skills.
* Books expand information, imagination, and understanding.
* To fine-tune artistic talent, art supplies, craft kits or creative software programs are good choices.
* A child's competitive spirit---a vital survival tool---is enhanced by a computer or positive video games. They're a lot of fun, too.
TOY STORAGE
Once you have purchased your young one's toys, the next challenge is to find the best place to store them so that they are neat and reasonably organized.
DR. TOY'S TIPS ON TOY STORAGE AND USE
* Toys should be easily accessible to the child.
* Boxes can hold a lot of toys. Label them so it's easy to determine the contents, or use clear boxes for quick identification.
* Create sturdy shelves to hold boxes, games, and larger toys.
* A hammock is great for storing stuffed animals, or a clothes line (with clothespins that snap open) can be hung from the ceiling or across a corner.
* If you buy a toy chest, be sure it has a safety lock. Children have been trapped inside chests and been unable to get out. Some toy chests can also be difficult for a young child to reach in and out of. It is preferable to have open shelves where their toys can be easily seen, handled and returned.
* Do not have too many toys and games cluttering the floor; it can be dangerous. If toys are easy to find and easy to put away, it will be more agreeable to your child to take care of them. They will last longer and your offspring will have much less frustration when she wants to find something.
* Children can learn to put toys away. This skill, part of Montessori's teaching principles, is an important lesson. It's a good way for your young one to learn responsibility.
* Occasionally recycle the toys for fresh play so your child doesn't get bored. (It's also a good way to renew your child's interest in old toys.)
THE PLAYBOOK
Consider keeping a "Playbook"---a notebook with ideas that apply to your child and tips from your reading and research. You can keep notes also of observations you make of your child's play, her favorite activities, her "wish list," and favorite toys. You might record birthday gifts and who gave them, and funny tidbits you want to remember years from now. You can keep photos of special toys and of your child playing with them.
Be sure to note the places where you were able to purchase the best toys. This would be a good place to store your receipts and keep a list of the names of manufacturers you have found reliable.
OBSERVING CHILDREN PLAY
As has been mentioned, a parent who watches play patterns is versed in the child's changing play needs.
DR. TOY'S TIPS ON CHILD OBSERVATION
* Observe what occurs in your child's play and write down important events in your Playbook.
* Watch how he shares and how he plays with others.
* How does he use toys? Is there a favorite she returns to? Encourage curiosity and initiative. Does she find new uses for her toys?
* Watch how your child masters skills. Does she take time to discover new ways to play? Is he impatient or easily distracted?
* Does your child follow directions? Does he use ingenuity?
* Notice the types of toys with which he spends the most time. What does he most like to do with them? What does he not like?
Playtime does not depend on toys or anything else. Watch kittens, puppies, baby monkeys---they are full of play. Watch your young child excitedly chase a butterfly, follow a leaf, or pick up a stick and transform it into a magic wand.
Play depends upon the young person's willingness to experience her improvisations. It is her spirit---her inner being---that suggests unexpected twists and turns in her perceptions, that creates her laughter and funny faces, that turns a simple rock into a toad, a twig into an elf, a gesture into a royal dismissal or a dance.
Stimulate your little girl to draw from her inner self and expand her playthings with her imagination. Provide her with boxes and unusual props. They can give her a "warm-up" for more sophisticated playthings.
Here are a few guidelines that apply to all children at play. You will find more specific information as we discuss types of products for each age.
DR. TOY'S CHECKLIST TO HELP YOUR CHILD MAKE THE BEST USE OF TOYS AND PLAY PRODUCTS
* Allow your child to discover the toy and explore it fully. Do not interfere, even when he makes "mistakes," unless frustration sets in.
* Rotate the toys your child plays with to avoid his becoming bored.
* Check on toys frequently to be sure nothing is broken.
* Create a space for your child to have his own play area.
* Give your child time to replace the toys he has used.
* Make sure you have a good mix of toy types and other play products.
* Be careful that there are not too many playthings out which may confuse the child.
* Encourage your offspring to balance play with time to read and to exercise.
* Be a playmate when it fits, and nourish communication skills.
* If your child is going to play with a board game, be sure he understands the rules of the game. This is a perfect time for you both to play and talk with each other.
* If batteries are required, be sure they are on hand and operating. Test them. Show your child how to turn off the toy if it does not do that automatically.
* Have fun together every day and enjoy her unique gifts. Notice and appreciate your child's creative use of toys.
Expand your child's playing repertoire. You may do this by introducing new toys gradually and allowing her to explore and discover new things. In the case of games she will need your assistance at first to learn to play by the rules. It's fun to play Candy Land, Monopoly, Parcheesi, Othello, Scrabble, checkers, or chess with your child.
Many toys are created for the child's own self-discovery. Toys like LEGOs, Erector sets, Lincoln Logs, Playmobil, Tinker Toys, other construction toys and wooden blocks open up hours of imaginative entertainment, involvement and pride of achievement.
Your child has the ability to manipulate, to experiment, and to try new things. Children learn best in the early years by trial and error, observation and comparison, and discovery of their own abilities and those of others they may want to follow.
Help your child be a good player, to take turns, to share, to learn how to win and to lose. Whether as a child or when grown to adulthood, a person who is a good loser and who does not quit is always a winner. A good loser is not just being a good sport; a good loser exerts confidence and knows that "losing" is just a temporary setback. If he keeps on playing, he is on his way to ultimate success. Discovering this is a lesson in strength and stamina all kids need to master.
When you instill a sense of fun in your youngster, you open her eyes to the most powerful of long-term goals: the eagerness and the motivation to absorb knowledge. To learn!
A child who plays well is being prepared for academic learning. If he has had a strong, happy, and productive playtime when young, he will be a better student, prepared to make the most of his education. He will have improved concentration, be more focused, and be able to express himself well orally and in writing.
If, for example, you have a personal, well-established reading habit, and if you also read every day to your young child, she will enjoy books. Keep in mind that in this era children are exposed to fast-moving information and rapidly advancing technology. Sometimes it is difficult to get her just to sit down and focus on reading. You need to set the example. Turn off the TV and turn on her mind! When you have to be away, make a tape of her favorite story. She will love listening to your voice as she follows it in the book (much to the delight of your baby sitter).
You might ask your little one's grandparents to tape stories and send the tape along with the books they read. What a delight to have granny nearby, even when she can't be there to read before bedtime.
We want our children to be emotionally balanced, stable, and smart. Use their playtime to achieve this.
You Are Your Child's First Big Toy!
Throughout infancy and childhood, it is how you play with your children, what you do together, and your playfulness and positive responses to their questions that are the crux of their emotional health, well-being, and self-confidence.
"The family that plays together, stays together," and has lots more joy together! Keep in mind the real reason, perhaps, for having children. Do your best to give your children happy childhoods. Help them grow and become stable, responsible adults who do not lose their balance, good humor, enthusiasm, or joy for life. Recall your childhood memories that keep you in touch with your own child's world. Your long-term hopes for your child will enable her favorite "Big Toy" to be the best toy of all!
Every Day Is Playtime
Remember that your child needs time every day to play. If possible, join him for short periods as you can. In the long run, your child will be happier, brighter, and your relationship will be much better.
My daughter, now a young adult with a child of her own, still enjoys playing musical tapes, sharing a board game, and reading excerpts aloud from books. However, as we laugh together we both keep a close eye on her growing son as he rapidly discovers new objects to play with, and I find I'm now sharing with my daughter the experiences I had when she was little. There is, I think, great satisfaction in sharing.
Perhaps you are a collector of toys: dolls, trains, teddy bears, dollhouses, or miniatures. Collecting such childhood treasures is a great delight. So, as you find wonderful toys for your child, think about getting a few special ones for yourself! Wise executives and parents know that a small toy can do wonders for stressful afternoons when one must take some time out. Play recharges the batteries. Look for that executive yo-yo, gyroscope, slinky, or kaleidoscope, or wonderful toy, doll or teddy bear the next time you are in your favorite toy store.
Everyone can enjoy toys---now is the perfect time to learn.
CHAPTER TWO
Baby
BABY PLAY---Birth to One Year
Becoming a first-time parent is one of life's great, stirring experiences, and the first toys for your precious new baby are very special. Most "ladies-in-waiting" and papas-to-be enjoy shopping, looking for ways to set up and decorate the baby's area, and planning the playthings to buy the new infant. It's often hard to be practical about these purchases. Many of us, in the thrill of brand-new parenthood, tend to overdo the number, suitability, even the size of things we buy beforehand.
When Tom and Arlene learned they were to have a baby, Tom wanted to celebrate immediately. He rushed to the nearest toy store and purchased what he wanted most, a large set of LEGO blocks, something he had never gotten to play with as a child. Actually, the time he took to use the new LEGOS relaxed and satisfied his own unmet childhood needs. From the set, he created a large animal to decorate his baby's room and proudly installed it on a shelf.
Although it was a while before Annie, his two-year-old daughter, got to play with her first starter set of LEGO DUPLOS, her daddy had lots of fun with his own set. Over the two years after Annie's birth, Tom and Arlene learned to shop more selectively. They have made wise purchases of toys that can be used also by their second child, whom they expect soon.
It's a given---grown-ups buy toys for kids, even little babies, with which they themselves would like to play!
You are your baby's "Play Guide," so select those first toys carefully and be guided by the baby's basic abilities and needs. As he grows, these expand and change. Watch him explore, observe his responses, and use the development information in this book to interpret his behavior. Each child is unique, of course, and often acts differently from the "average" as described for his age.
Pay close attention to the age range on toy packages. These will usually serve to guide you on appropriateness. However, you are the final authority on your little one. Do not rush her into activities she is not ready for or, on the other hand, don't limit her to age ranges she's obviously beyond. You have been observing her behavior, interacting with her, and have read about how her development relates to the toys you choose for her. Trust yourself.
Baby's First Big Toy
If you accept that you are the most important "Big Toy" in your baby's life, the one special person who will feed, talk to, sing with, stroke, bathe, and play with him, and also your baby's first contact with the world, then you can see how important it is to take good care of yourself physically and emotionally before, during, and after pregnancy.
Preparing for the Coming Event
Having clear communication between you and your mate will help resolve many of the questions. Before your baby arrives, it is vitally important that you are both prepared with good health, good attitudes, and reasonable expectations.
To prepare for your baby, visit friends and learn what toys, activities, and ideas have worked for them. Start your Playbook. Enter notes from your reading, and benefit from the extensive research in child growth and development. New information has led to improved guidelines, more books, excellent toys, and the increased production of carefully tested products.
Make a useful and inexpensive toy or two for your new baby. Easy step-by-step instructions and patterns for creating them are available in good crafts books. Even making but one special toy will be a cheerful project and get you pleasantly through days of waiting. For those of you who have never been into knitting, sewing, or carpentry, you might find that waiting for this new life is a different kind of time.
For example, a simple sock puppet is easy to make, especially for "non craftsy" people, and it will charm your little one for a long time.
For the more experienced (or those determined to become so), consider creating a rag-crocheted doll or teddy bear. A knitted stuffed unicorn or kitten to cuddle will warm baby in many more ways than one, and for more years than you'd expect.
In your Playbook, start a "Baby Gift List." When people ask what gift to give the newest family member, consult your notes to advise them. Create a record of presents. In one column, list the toy or indicate if a check was received, and record the name of the person who gave the item. You might also wish to include information such as the date you received the gift and date that the thank-you note was sent.
Your thank-you note should always specifically mention the toy and comment on the child's reaction (favorable, of course). As a particularly thoughtful gesture, why not send along a photograph of your baby, if possible, with the toy (and keep a print for the Playbook, too). If the gift was money, include a photo of the toy it purchased. The picture will be a special treasure to the gift-giver, and it is a rewarding expression of your appreciation.