P O I N T
M E R I D I A N
Men Entering the Zone
J. Burton
ALEXZUS BOOKS
New York
POINT MERIDIAN Books
by
Jennifer Burton
Men Entering The Zone
Women Coping With Men In The Zone
360 Degrees North To Manhood
(Coming Soon)
Text copyright © 2011 by J. Burton
All rights reserved. Except as permitted under the U.S. Copyright Act of 1976, no part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, or stored in a database or retrieval system, without the prior written permission of the publisher.
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First Edition
For MEN everywhere
Acknowledgements
To all the honest men that allowed me inside access to their personal ‘zone’, I thank you. While the journey for each of you was uniquely challenging, you all demonstrated the courage to complete the transition as better, more purposeful human beings. And to the men who persisted in their denials, I appreciate you as well. Full comprehension of a matter involves observing all sides To inquiring minds that were so desperate for answers—and to whom I was more than happy to oblige—I thank you for the opportunity to exchange this invaluable knowledge and bring awareness to the multitudes world wide.
To all the medical community, researchers and mental health professionals who are committed to a better understanding of men’s health, and who have enlightened my understanding of the phenomenon in a powerful way, I am truly grateful . . . and I applaud you.
The universal and planetary rhythms keep us in movement, and if you can make use of them, instead of trying to resist them, then you get the energy that belongs with that phase, which can lead to a much deeper feeling of fulfillment in one’s life, and then you don’t need to say: I wasted time, and now doth time waste me.
–William
Shakespeare
CHAPTER 1
Entering the Zone
The mirrored reflection of the man you once knew reflects a stranger today. You’re moody, irritable, indecisive, lost your enthusiasm. The sudden spurts of heat from within summons anxiety and you’re snapping angrily for no reason. You have no interest in sex—with your wife that is—and your libido has taken a dive. Noticeable gray temples and a receding hairline have you exploring other more appealing options. Waist-line expansion may be a force of nature, but the bulging ‘love handles’—a wake-up call. You’re gaining weight and the decrease in muscle tone has set off adrenal fatigue.
The unending stress at home and at work frequently promotes thoughts of escape. Your strange and secret behavior—late hours, socializing habitually with ‘the boys’, estrangement from family activities, and the trips alone—has your family bewildered. Feelings of loneliness and sadness accompany bouts of depression which you mask with arrogance, aggression, and overcompensation. Fearing judgment from others, you refuse to share what you’re feeling. In your solitude—confronting mortality among other realities—you rely on Jack—as in Daniels—or other addictive stimulants for relief, however temporary. You desperately want to find that man, the one you used to be, and feel normal again.
Without a map or GPS devise, you set out on a journey to find him, driving fearlessly and aimlessly, running over anything or anyone in your path. Suddenly you realize you’re lost and you panic. Heading north the sky’s turning dark and the road’s leading into unfathomable blackness, as though into an abyss. You’ve entered the mid-life zone: POINT MERIDIAN! It is a destination in time where a psychological and physiological transition occurs in men. Challenging the process of a man’s personal evolution are several issues: the inner conflict, the maze of contradictions, a desire to go back in time, and the defining of manhood. His oscillating behavior from the conscious to the unconscious makes his actions unpredictable at best.
“What happened to the dream?” You ask, taking stock of your goals and achievements in the last 20 or 25 years. What happened to the success? The lavish lifestyle you envisioned? You went to college, established your career, got married and had a family. You purchased a home with the expectations of retiring after thirty years . . . or thirty-five. Is this all there is?
Andropause Defined
POINT MERIDIAN is not just a ‘zone’ of crisis, where a man begins to sink in the quicksand of psychological doubt triggered by the fear of aging. Or the point at which there’s an emotional shift that drives a man to seek something different and begin anew. You’re suffering from what is clinically known as Andropause, a condition that occurs in aging men as a result of declining testosterone levels. Between the ages of 35-65—for some as early as 20—production levels of testosterone normally decrease at a rate of about 1 percent to 1.5 or 2 percent each year.
Testosterone is the predominant male sex hormone produced especially by the testes and is responsible for inducing and maintaining masculine characteristics such as facial hair, deep voice, ability to procreate, muscle tone and bone mass. In the adult stage, testosterone may play a role in hair growth, muscle strength, libido, sexual function as well as the accumulation of abdominal fat. “Testosterone may also help maintain normal mood,” explains Dr. Robert H. Shmerling, M.D., from Beth Israel Deaconess Medical Center. “There may be other important functions of this hormone that have not been discovered.”
Symptoms of Andropause
The gradual decline of testosterone will provoke symptoms of Andropause, a.k.a. Male Menopause; in Great Britain it is referred to as Viropause. For those of you that want to claim that it’s physically impossible for a man to experience menopause because there will be no cessation of menstruation, let’s just say it’s the ‘change of life’ equivalent/version for a man. Other terms that refer to the condition include: testosterone deficiency, androgen deficiency of the aging male (ADAM) and late onset hypogonadism. During this time there are EIGHT major body chemicals that will decrease in production and will trigger a wide variety of symptoms.
Mood swings
Irritability
Fatigue
Weight Gain
Obesity
Graying/Thinning Hair
Short Tempered
Anger
Depression
Erectile Dysfunction
Low Sperm Count
Reduced Libido
Growing Breasts
Memory Impairment
Insomnia/Sleep Disturbance
Frequent Urination
Hot Flashes
Anxiety
Withdrawn
Feeling Emotional
Stress
Grumpy
Difficulty Reading Small Print
Decline in Muscle Mass
Prostate Problems
Hypertrophy
Osteoporosis
Heart Disease
Diabetes
Desire to Escape
Seeking New Pursuits
Change of Diet
Excessive Drinking
Feeling Lonely
Feeling Trapped
Jed Diamond, psychotherapist and best-selling author of Male Menopause and The Irritable Male Syndrome contends, the changes associated with Andropause are not just hormonal. Men will encounter physical, psychological, interpersonal, social, sexual, and spiritual changes. Every aspect of a man’s life will be challenged and impact the woman and child(ren) that love him. That’s right, there’s no beating around the bush with this, Dude; it is what it is.
It is estimated that as many as 25 million Americans men between 40 and 55 are experiencing the symptoms of Andropause. Yeah, you read correctly, Dude! That’s a huge number of men wandering aimlessly in the zone with at best, vague information and no mentors. According to Dr. Malcolm Carruthers, a British pioneer in the field of Andropause and author of Maximizing Manhood, “at least 25 percent of 40-year-old men are going through Andropause, and that number climbs to 70 percent by the time men reach their 70s.”
I know what some of you are saying—I’m talking to the men. Where is this nonsense coming from? That’s not happening to me! Nor is it going to happen to me. You’re on the defense and in denial as are lots of men who believe this to be some far fetched, invented condition. Newsflash: It’s not optional, Dude! While the symptoms of Andropause vary for every individual; the biological and psychological transformation of aging will occur in virtually by ALL men in some form in the midlife years and beyond. “There is no way of predicting who will experience Andropausal systems of sufficient severity to seek medical help,” Dr. Rakhra, a Naturopathic Physician, points out. “Neither is it predictable at what age symptoms will occur in a particular individual.”