100 Lessons on Happiness
in 100 Words or Less
by Averil Leimon
Copyright 2011 Visual Aid Publishing Limited
Published by Visual Aid Publishing Limited at Smashwords
Table of Contents
1. Why a book about happiness?
7. Everything could go right...
10. What really makes you happy?
30. Cope with corrosive cynicism
36. Ask yourself: “Why am I here?”
40. Don’t rest on your laurels
46. Always look on the bright side of life
47. Pay attention—to the good stuff
53. Change your thinking/change your life
71. Reciprocity and good turns
76. Act with random kindness...Again
Why a book about happiness?
People tend to think happiness is a big and complicated topic. In fact, science shows that it is often the seemingly little things that make a huge difference to people’s well-being and sense of contentment. So lots of money and possessions don’t actually help much. The single most important thing you can do is to make the choice to be happy. Ask yourself when you wake each day, “What do I want to be today, happy or miserable?” It’s your decision. Choose to be happy! Now find the good reasons for that choice.
Happiness and long life
Wanting to improve your happiness may seem self-indulgent. Actually it’s a life-saver. Studies show that happiness has a strong impact on how long you live—it could be eight years more—and protects you against illness. This is comparable to the benefits of not smoking. No wonder governments are looking at happiness now! A public policy that takes account of the greater amount of happiness for the greater number of people isn’t just a fanciful indulgence. It could save hugely on healthcare costs. So there is very real motivation to raise your happiness levels.
The happiness formula
Happiness=S+C+V. S is your set range, or the way you were born, It counts for 50 percent. C is for circumstances, i.e. climate, wealth, health, and doesn’t actually account for more than 10 percent. V is under your voluntary control and contributes at least 40 percent to your happiness. So even if you are set quite low on the scale, you can find ways to become happier. Changing C, your circumstances, living in a warm climate, making more money or buying the latest handbag probably won’t do much. It all comes down to your take on life, so keep reading.
Pollyanna or Eeyore?
Being happy isn’t always about giggling or having “blue birds on your shoulder.” Pollyanna’s relentless happiness could get irritating. Goldie Hawn’s bubbliness isn’t everyone’s style. Old Eeyore in the Pooh Bear stories specializes in gloom but he still has a set of good close friends who tolerate him. Each of us may have a different starting point and style of happiness. The trick is to find ways to live in the upper reaches of your own personal range. Everyone’s happiness looks different. Notice what it is that makes you your happiest self and then deliberately make that happen often.
Cherish the moment
Okay, what are you doing right now? Well, you are reading this. What else? Thinking about the day ahead, reliving mistakes from yesterday, grudges from the past, fears of tomorrow? Stop right there. You have this one perfect moment in time that you will never have again. Look around you, really see your environment, the people you are sharing it with, any physical sensations—itchy wool, soft linen, hunger, thirst. Don’t judge, just observe. Don’t say, “It’s such a gray day.” Look at how many shades of gray there are. Fully engage with this moment and cherish it forever.
Never had it so good?
A politician lost his job saying this, so let’s check. How is your life better today than your parents, your grandparents, your great-grandparents? Life is better in numerous ways—advances in medicine, you keep your own teeth, your life expectancy has gone up, your standard of living has risen immeasurably, you probably don’t work down a mine. So when you’re having a particularly foul day, just stop and think how life is better than it could have been. If it isn’t, then time to make some changes. If it is, then maybe help make someone else’s life better today.
Everything could go right...
People say, “Worrying is natural, everything could go wrong.” I say, “People really believe that nonsense?” Worrying is like going into a bank and saying, “I don’t have an account but I want to pay you interest in case I owe you money some day.” Nuts, huh? People say they don’t want to tempt fate by hoping for the best. What, God is sitting around waiting to spoil your plans? How very egocentric you are! Here’s your mantra for today and life: “Everything could go right.” Now what do you have to do to make sure that happens?
Build a happiness picture
It’s playtime. Get out the paper, the glue and even the glitter to create the ultimate mood board. What are all the tiny, medium and huge things that make you happy? Not what would make you happy but what, in fact, does. Collate photos or do some drawings. Create a picture of everything you like from hot toast to the love of your life: both together might be ideal. What contributes to your sense of joy in life? Include friends, partners, colleagues or family, and then display it so just one glance will make you smile.
Teflon vs. Velcro
If someone criticizes you, the memory is often stronger than the praise they have given in the past, partly because we go over and over it. Negative stuff is also more granular and sticks like Velcro. Positive slides right off like Teflon. Deliberately engineer a better positive to negative ratio in every aspect of your life. Ask what you did well and pay attention. Give genuine compliments. You need a minimum of 3 positives to 1 negative to make a team flourish at work and 5:1 to make a good marriage. It’s hard work being positive!