SoulReader
Book One of
The SoulSeries
By Trista Quirk
Smashwords Edition, License Notes
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Copyright 2011
To find out more on the happenings in the SoulSeries world go to www.thesoulreader.webs.com
A big thank you to all who stood behind me supporting and inspiring. A big thank you to Tyler, my computer tech wiz and expert on all things teenage, without you my computer would have to learn to fly. You Rock Kiddo! Thank you to my family who kept my feet on the ground when my head was in the clouds. And to my Puppies for keeping me on a tight walking schedule. If not for you, I would be lost to a whole other world. A special thanks to my muse for inspiring me. My thoughts and love are always with you Grandfather wherever you are.
Chapter One
“MAHALA!” “MAHALA! Susan says you need to get up now!” The shrill of her voice pierced my eardrums. I was quickly coming to know and strongly dislike Tara’s obnoxious wake up calls. She shrieked through the thin old door, pounding harshly against it with her freshly manicured hands, as it rattled unsteadily in its frame. Grinding the sleep from my eyes, I watched as the all too familiar sulfuric waves seeped through the door’s cracks, searching and reaching to pull me into the waiting darkness.
Tara is sultry, seductive, and sneaky as a viper, she was the oldest here until I arrived two days ago. Technically, were both seventeen with my birthday at the beginning of April on the ninth, hers in July on the twenty-seventh. Add to that, the fact that I receive an allowance from an inheritance along with owning my own car--well you get the picture. Somehow being the oldest girl here made her queen bee of the house. I wasn’t sure, if it was my coming here or if she was always like this. I could check if I’d let myself travel the nexus, but if I didn’t have to, I didn’t want to. It was bad enough the times I get to know someone a little too well and the compulsion completely takes me over. My being here, and to Tara’s way of thinking usurping her position, did not exactly warm her to me. If only she knew—the risk of exposure this early on in a new placement was not something I could afford.
The last foster home, I was placed with was the uber-zealous religious type. I had been living with them for a little more than five months. Everything was going great I thought. They respected the fact that I did not follow their beliefs, even though they never ceased to try to convert me. I was the only girl, the only teenager in the family to boot. They did have three younger boys all adopted.
Yup they were your typical upper middle class family that was until they met me… I was even starting to think I might have found somewhere to belong. As if that was ever a possibility. Even a few other kids from school were nice enough for being norms (Norms = anyone not like me which is everyone). For half a daydream, I had even considered a guy at school who expressed some interest. My small group of friends all respected the fact that I needed my space; it was easy to do when we would all go hiking down to Snoqualmie Falls. I always have felt more comfortable surrounded by nature. I think it has something to do with the harmonious vibrations the trees and plants give off.
For a moment, I actually thought I might fit in there…as much as someone who is a genuine freak of nature can anyways. No one except Ruth Scarlatti, my caseworker, knew exactly what the extents of my, “little problem” were. Ruth always acted like I had an older kid bed wetting problem, it was never to be talked about, simply to be treated like it doesn’t exist, almost like I didn’t exist. Anytime someone at a placement got even a whiff of an idea about me, it was time to move on as quickly as possible.
“Ugh…go away,” I groaned at the door wiping my hands across my eyes removing any remaining traces of sleep. I was so not up to dealing with her crappy attitude this early in the day. My feet swayed against the side of the bed as I sat up throwing my legs over the side of the mattress. The room’s sterile white walls swayed unsteadily. The head rush from sitting up to quickly passed as I regained my focus on the incessant banging on the door.
“Susan says you have to get up now or you’ll be late for school.” her voice saturated with the depth of her impatience. I could almost picture her throwing her perfectly manicured hands up in the air, tossing her perfectly platinum blonde hair over her fake and baked tanned shoulder. I knew her type well, didn’t even need to use my abilities to read how much she loathed me, or anyone who might be a challenge to her for that matter.
“Fine it’s not my problem if you’re late on your first day. I did as I was told!” sarcasm dripped icily through her next words. “You’ll just have to deal with the fall out if you don’t do as you’re told.” Tara gave the door a quick hard kick before giving up. Oh ugh! She had me there. The one thing different about a group home vs. a regular foster home was the discipline. Group homes tended to be a bit harsher, harsher in the extreme sometimes. Not knowing what the consequences might be here, I knew it would not be worth the risk upsetting the staff this early on. Some things it seems in my life tend to be inevitable.
“I’m up. I’m up!” I yelled back through the door, not wanting to cause any more conflict this early in the morning. I listened to her retreating steps stomping down the hallway. I did not think there was anything in the world I could do to make Tara like me, not that I would want the friendship. She had her mind made up to hate me the moment we were first introduced.
“Oh well…” I sighed as I got up and headed for the bathroom, snatching the small bag of toiletries off my desk as I went. If she hated me now, it would make it that much easier for her to keep her distance.
At least Ruth understood why I needed my alone time, It wasn’t just having my mental circuits overloaded by throngs of people, familiarity was a bad thing; it made the Pull into the darkness all that much stronger, harder for me to tune out.
All you had to do was look at the history of foster homes I had been in, to see the pattern emerging. Parents would love me, think I’m great; they get to know me… I get to know them a little… than wham I am sucked into the darkness, unable to stop it in time. Inevitably, they see me for the freaky chick I am, blackened bug eyes and all. By that afternoon, I am usually on my way to the next foster home. It happens sometime within the first six months, sometimes sooner.
It was something I’ve learned to get used to in life. Although I had to admit, actually letting myself feel like a norm was not the smartest was not the smartest thing I have done.
It was Ruth’s idea to give me the sunglasses for what she calls my “awkward emergencies.” Yes, even caseworkers can have light bulb bursting above your head epiphanies, now and then. So now, I carry a pair of dark shades with me everywhere I go, even into the bathroom, as a just in case.
I’m sure wearing sunglasses most of the time made people think I am stuck up or trying to act cooler than I really am, and I do nothing to disparage this way of thinking either. I figured it like this. The worse they think of me the easier time they would have at leaving me alone. After a while, anyone can get used to being all alone.
After my shower and brushing my teeth, I wiped some steam from the mirror staring at my reflection in the mirror. A few dark shadows circling under my eyes were all I saw in evidence of the nightmares that had plagued me during the night.
Nightmares were another thing I had to adjust to growing up. I’ve had them ever since…well…the day of the accident that killed both my parents when I was six, the day my abilities first manifested. After that, I went to live with my aging Cherokee grandfather until he passed away too at age twelve. You would think my nightmares are about the accident, but no, mine have dancing gypsies and shadows moving through trees and all sorts of booger monsters. Sometimes after a particularly bad dream grandfather would sing an old Cherokee lullaby that he used to sing to my mother when she was little. Before grandfather passed away, he told me my eyes used to remind him of my mom’s and grandmother’s. I had gotten smart and said, “So theirs turned into giant black bug eyes too?” His smile faded slightly but not disappearing completely. His patience with me seemed never ending.
Instead, he looked me straight in the eye and very calmly said, “No little spitfire I merely meant yours sparkle like the night moon, just like theirs did.” I felt like a complete horse’s derrière after that. Fortunately, genetics blessed me with the smooth porcelain skin of my dad’s Irish side of the family, with only a few sprinkles of freckles on my nose. I pinched my cheeks the color quickly fading into a ghostly shade of white contrasting with the dark circles under my eyes. Great as if starting a new high school this morning was not enough to stress over. My first day and I was going to look like a sick person on her deathbed.
All the issues with my paleness were nothing though in comparison to the long wildly tangled, ashy colored locks I called hair. I wore it long because it helped to cover up the scars left over from the accident. Sometimes I swear my hair had a mind of its own liking to do whatever it wanted without any regards to my needs or wants. After several attempts to keep it pinned up in a French twist failed, my last foster mom referred to it as a wild horse’s mane
My eyes stared at the hatefully puckered scars that ran down the side of my neck. My hand gently traced the deep welts as they flowed down the side of my neck along the length of my back and side. I gathered my hair slightly to the right pulling it over my shoulder to cover up the scars. Deep down I knew I would never be able to let a guy or anyone else see me without a shirt on ever. They wouldn’t be able to see anything but the scars. Moreover, how long would it take them to turn away from me in disgust? Nevertheless, no matter what I thought of my looks deep down I knew it was more than looks that kept boys at bay.
I exhaled, seventeen soon to be eighteen and never kissed. Pathetic! I am completely pathetic. I will never get that first kiss. I tore my eyes away from the mirror. It’s not as if I’d ever be able to get close to anyone anyways I sighed deeply.
The light filtering through the trees out the bathroom window caught my eye. Wrapping a towel around myself I smiled a little, at least it doesn‘t look like rain I thought, but with Seattle clouds you never can tell.
Watching the gentle swaying of the trees, I closed my eyes concentrating, just this once I’d let my mind drift, focusing on the forest’s auras of green and white as they grew outside the bathroom window. Usually I put every effort into resisting the pull of the vibrating auras but they did have their benefits at times. Slowly their auras linked to me tugging me down into their nexus. Every living object as far as I could tell vibrated, sending out colorful pulsing wave like auras that swirled brightly around them. Following these waves to their cores, their very essences, I would be able to see into the nexus, the center of their worlds.
It was easy to let myself go when I was in the nexus. A little too easy, it was addicting to be free, able to be myself. Not inhibited by who or what is around me. Sometimes it was daunting having to keep up the facade of being a norm. A part of me longed for a normal existence another part longed to belong, to fit in somewhere just as I am. Here, I am able to see what the weather will be like later today. While here, I can see anything I focused my mind on, anything but myself that is. It has something to do with a thing called paradox. At least that is the theory my granddad came up with, and since he was the most brilliant man I knew, I went along with him. Even if I was too young to understand, what paradox meant at the time. What I did understand, was you could not be the one, seeing the one who needs to be seen.
I continued watching the pictures as they flowed past me searching for one that would show me the weather later. Just great! I could see that Tara and two of her groupies were standing outside the bathroom door, just waiting for the chance to humiliate me. I also saw I was not going to make it to breakfast before they cleaned it up. My stomach was already starting up a long string of complaints. Finally, the pictures settled down into the one I was searching for. Warm rays of light beamed through treetops, the sun already waning in the west. So it wouldn’t rain but I would not get a chance to go exploring until later this evening, if things stayed flowing on their current paths.
That was all the confirmation I needed. I could not afford to spend too much time floating around in the nexus. I started to clear my head of all thoughts, gently pulling myself back avoiding the painfully sharp headaches that a sudden snap release of the nexus caused.
Grabbing my sunglasses off the counter top slipping them on knowing it would be about five to ten minutes before they returned to their natural light violet/grey color.
I felt my face crack a small smile; the day was finally starting to look up. This meant I could go exploring in the woods later. Now all I had to do was keep thinking about the calm the forest would provide for me later, and I just might make it through the day. On my way, back to my room however I caught sight of Tara and two of the other girls living there, Lisa and Alisha I think their names were, leaning against the wall outside Tara’s room, across the hall from the bathroom.
Tara snickered, “Watch out ladies we are in the presence of royalty.” Giving a spectacular Flick to her bleached blonde hair, her brown and yellow aura became hard and jagged jumping up than flowing down towards her feet jabbing like sharpened icicles. Her overly glossed lips forming a sneer as I walked passed them.
Lisa, a tall willowy red head was taking her cues from Tara like a mindless robot, “Can we get your autograph?” A round of laughter broke out between the two of them.
Oh great! Am I going to have to fight this chick so soon after moving here? My stomach cramped up in a knot. It’s not that I couldn’t, growing up in foster care you have to learn to defend yourself rather quickly. However, I would have to get close enough to make physical contact and that was not something I wanted to do.
My eyes narrowed at their snide sarcastic tones. Fighting with someone when you are brand new to the place was not exactly conducive to trying to keep a low profile. I knew if I just ignored her than like most insecure people, she would move on to another easier target. Clamping my teeth as tightly as possible to keep from snapping back at her, I kept my hands balled up tightly at my sides. Just ignore her and keep walking I told myself. Keep walking! She is so not worth it.
Keeping a smile frozen on my face, I pretended not to have seen or heard them standing there as I made my way back to my room. As if I needed the extra help and to make matters worse, my right foot clipped the edge of the doorframe to my bedroom, stubbing my little toe.
“Owe!” I yelped as pain shot through me. Grabbing my foot while hopping up and down (not entirely the best idea I have ever had), my towel decidedly slipped to the ground around my feet. Hurriedly I snatched it back up whipping around quickly, so no one would see the scars on my back as I yanked it back around me. Grateful for once that my hair was long enough to cover most of them. Tara and Lisa her continuously ratty side kick broke out in another round of laughter as their auras vibrated, mixing, and blending to form sharpened dark waves of discord, swirling around the two of them.
Alisha looked briefly sympathetic to me; her vibes flowing in a softer friendlier yellow, yet her aura reflected a smaller more hesitant wave. She was frowning slightly at the two laughing idiots practically bent over at the waist clutching their stomachs. It seemed as if she wanted to say something to them both but might be too afraid. It’s not a comfortable thing, being on the receiving end of Tara’s wrath. I quickly closed the door behind me, shutting out their laughter. Flushed with embarrassment I tenderly hobbled my way over to my bed to make sure none of my toes was broken. After assessing that the damage was minimal, I stumbled over to my closet.
Short on time and determined to wear the first thing my hands touched; fortunately, I grabbed my favorite albeit slightly torn black t-shirt. The name of my favorite band “Shine down” slowly fading way on it, I bought it the one and only time I ever went to see a concert two years ago.
I learned quickly large groups were not a good thing, (all the more reason I should have known better than to go to Chucky Cheese’s,) It was too much on me, all those people at the concert, they made me feel like my head was going to explode and not from the loudness of the music. I paired it with my favorite pair of skinny jeans. I loved me some skinny jeans! However, I will never understand guys wanting to wear them. I thought they were supposed to accentuate a girl’s physique. On guys, I thought it made them look a little too feminine for my taste. Not exactly what I’d look for in a boyfriend type. But don’t get me wrong, that’s just me. I know some girls are totally into that whole emo thing on guys. It is not as if I really even had a boyfriend type. I think to have a type you need to have had some experience, which I totally lacked.
Guys just did not fit into the whole staying away from people thing. That reminded me I would have to dump most of my contact numbers from my last school, maybe get a completely new number. Suppose I can do it later, I was running late already this morning. Maybe after school, I need to figure my way around town anyways.
Covington the current place I was living in was a small part of a city named Kent located just outside of Seattle. Kent itself spanned quite the distance, but it was very rural in this area, filled with forest, giving it a small town feel.
As I threw my comfy Converses on, I glanced at the clock on the wall. I needed to buy an alarm clock. I noticed I was running out of time. School started in twenty minutes. I threw my I-pod, cell phone some pens and blank writing paper into my backpack.
I felt Susan’s cheerfully bright yellow and baby blue aura flowing strong and sure before she even entered the room, before I even heard her voice sing at the top of her lungs, “Hey sleepy head you finally up and ready?” She mock knocked politely on my door, probably trying to reassure me that I still had some privacy in a foster home filled with girls. Privacy can be pretty rare here. She pushed my bedroom door open wider to walk in. Susan was one of the many daytime staff members. She was rather tall and lanky easily six feet with cropped blonde hair that reminded me a little of Tinkerbelle‘s from that movie with Julia Roberts.
“Headache again?” she asked. Pointing out the fact, I was still wearing my sunglasses when clearly there was no sunlight in my room. Susan was not just a morning person; she is also the overly concerned type that has an annoyingly cheery disposition at all times.
“Yeah.” I sighed cracking a semi-smile. Ruth and I came up with the excuse of me being a long time sufferer of migraines, as the reason for needing to wear dark sunglasses at odd times.
“Do you need anything? Some Tylenol or something” she asked.
“Nah, but thanks anyways. I got Advil in my backpack” I stood there staring awkwardly at my shoes as silence quickly filled the dead air between us.
“Oh. Okay then,” she said quickly to fill in the silence. “If you need anything…I mean I know it can be hard adjusting to a new place and a new school all in a matter of days with no time to get used to anything.” She said.
“I’m good--really thank you, besides I’m sort of used to it by now-you know, but thanks anyways.” I attempted to show her my best norm smile so she would feel reassured and go away.
“Alrighty than, the girls are cleaning up breakfast now, and since you got a sleepy start, do you want me to grab something for you before it all gets put away, a pop tart maybe or some toast?” Clearly, she was looking for an excuse to leave without it seeming abrupt. Her vibes were already withdrawing, leading her out the door.
“Umm... Maybe a pop tart?” I asked not wanting to seem too pushy. I figured I had to eat something to satisfy my stomach, I was already a bundle of nerves and I could eat it on my way to school. Then I remembered I have to do some shopping after school and figured I might as well go ahead and push my luck.
“Oh there is something.” I hesitated.
“Go ahead.” She smiled patiently.
“I need to run a few errands after school to pick up an alarm clock and some other essentials is that alright?” I held my breath tentatively waiting for her reply.
“Sure as long as you let someone know where you’re going and when you’ll be back. Your caseworker, Ruth was it. (Not really, a question, I noted as she continued.) “She cleared it with Mary, Her voice dropping an octave, and we know that you need some personal time away from the others. In fact, you could probably just give us a call on your cell. This way you can get to know our little town some. You just might like it.” she smiled gently. I doubted I would be around long enough to get to know anything. Nevertheless, I decided to smile and nod politely to humor her.
“Just make sure you’re in your room before lights out at ten.”
“Also you might want to run a brush through that mane of yours before you go.” she unsuccessfully tried to not laugh as she turned to walk out the door. I knew it my wild hair was already drying into a snarled mess.
“Thanks for reminding me” Grabbing my brush I quickly gave my hair a once over. I grabbed my keys along with my backpack, which was hanging, off my bedpost, throwing my wallet and sunglasses also into the bag not being as careful as I probably should be with them. I checked my eyes out in the long mirror over the closet door, making sure they looked close to a norm’s eyes as possible before I left. Grabbing my dark grey hoody off the metal desk chair and shoving my arms through it, I rushed for the door, the pop tart I asked for long forgotten. Praying I make it through today.
Susan was at the door-saying goodbye to the other girls as they ran for their bus.
“Wait! Here ya go”. She quickly handed me a strawberry pop tart as I rushed by her. Yelling my thank you’s behind me, I raced out the front door, hoping she heard me. Thankfully, Tahoma Sr. High was not that far from where I currently was living. I pulled into the first available parking spot not even bothering to look for a closer one. I parked furthest away from the buildings not knowing if the students could park next to them or not. I did not want to ruffle any feathers, at least not right away. Something’s were inevitable though.
Ugh! My stomach twisted and churned. Willing it to behave my hands nervously fluttered over my stomach. The butterflies in my stomach felt like they were taking up permanent residency these days. At least I knew I would be able to keep the pop tart down. I was never one to lose my cookies very easily but sometimes, like now, I wished for a little of the relief.
Despite the numerous new starts at the many different schools every year, that first day was always the worst. My Fears were partly nerves but mostly starting a new school brings back memories I would rather forget.
I got out and closed the door to my black mini coupe the one luxury I was allowed to buy with some of my inheritance. In foster care, you were lucky if you were able to keep your own clothes. I had bought it as soon as I turned 16 and got my driver’s license.
I had received my family’s inheritance, most of which was set up in a trust fund with a trustee until I turn eighteen. When granddad passed away, the state took over as trustee. A knot formed in the back of my throat, I often wondered if granddads life span was shortened by the shock of my parent’s death or if it was his natural time... He just was not the same man he had been before the accident. His smiles around me seemed a little more forced at times. I knew he put on a brave front. Not wanting to show the pain, he felt on the inside. Sometimes I wondered if I was responsible for his death as well as the death of my parents.
I will never be able to forgive myself for the way my parents died. Even though my Granddad repeatedly said to me, “There was nothing I could have done at the time that I was too young to have prevented what’s meant to be.” However, I knew better. I had to ask myself what was the point of seeing the future is if you cannot use it to save the ones you love.
After granddads death I resolved to never get to close to anyone again. What was the point of getting to know someone, if I would just lose him or her in the end? Not to mention the only sure fire way I knew to keep from having unexpected visions is to stay as far away from all “Norms” as possible.
Often I find myself thinking what might have happened, would they still be here beside me today? If I had been just a little quicker, or been able to say…something…anything in those last few seconds before the world flipped on me forever.
Oh no you don’t! You cannot afford to get distracted today. I thought firmly. Concentrate on blanking your mind, focus only on school.
It was going to be hard enough keeping everyone’s auras at bay without the added anxiety. “No slip ups today” I reminded myself. I took a deep breath to stabilize my equilibrium--and myself concentrating solely on my breathing; slowly emptying all thoughts from my mind. I pushed away from my car to start my trek towards yet another new high school.
Planting a half smile on my face, It probably looked more like a grimace to everyone else around me I sighed, Oh well it would just have to do for now. I threw my unruly brown hair to the side clipping it with a barrette at the base of my neck slightly to the right, making sure it covered the scars my t-shirt didn‘t completely cover. Then as if prepared for battle I stiffly and slowly headed off in the general direction of Tahoma Sr. High’s main building.
Staring intently at the sidewalk, I kept my eyes down silently ordering my two left feet not to trip over themselves or anything else today. That is all I would need, a trip to the nurse’s office on my first day. Yeah I am sure that would not be found humiliating or anything.
Walking to the main doors gritting my teeth, wondering idly what the library would be like here. Probably nowhere, near as big or nice as my last high school. I hoped they would at least have a nice selection of books from which to choose. Having a lot of alone time on your hands did prove its usefulness. Thanks to all of my alone time I considered myself to be well versed in the classics. Silently I thanked the muses of libraries, if such things actually existed. The solitude of a library was exactly what I would need to help me keep away from anyone courageous enough to try to approach the new kid. It really was for the entire norm population’s own good.
Well...at least I only had one and a half more years of indentured servitude. I was starting to feel the melancholy sink in…trying to take over, I quickly shook it off. I would age out of the system soon enough than I would be the one in charge of my own destiny.
I paused for a quick second as I reached the doors to the main building, one more deep breath than in. I steeled myself, as I exhaled forcing my legs to move. I watched the pale grey sidewalk become hard linoleum under my feet. Pausing for just a moment to get my bearings, I force myself to continue breathing. This must be the main hallway; it was quickly filling up with students talking as they waited for the first bell to ring.
Standing there shifting my backpack over my right shoulder and looked around for signs leading to the office. I weaved my way around the others already in the hallway, avoiding walking too close to anyone. Their auras emanated all around them, I could see and sense them stretching, reaching for me trying to pull me down into their cores. Concentrating on resisting is my only option. No matter how tempting, I cannot walk around like a zombie all the time.
I reached up rubbing my fingers against my temples, feeling sets of eyes following me as I slowly made my way around them looking for the main office. Instinctively I glanced up to see who was staring at me, I may be new…but last time I checked staring at someone is rude no matter where you live. That singular glance as it turned out would be the first mistake of the day; unfortunately, it would not be my last.
Blushing cherry red with embarrassment I knew they were all checking out who the new girl was, their brightly questioning auras were already starting to give me a headache. Wondering where I had moved from and why I had moved here so shortly after the year began. Fortunately, for the norms they would never get the chance to know. I smiled bitterly to myself.
While distracted by the rudely staring students, I was not as careful in looking where I was walking, as I should have been. My two left feet ganged upon me deciding it was the perfect moment to disobey direct orders not to trip up. Abruptly I felt myself flying through the air straight into the back of a very tall, very large dark haired boy wearing varsity athlete’s jacket bathed in golden light, who had the unmistakable misfortune of standing in my path.
As my clumsy descent downwards was sure to bring us both down, a tall sandy haired boy standing nearby yelled a warning out to him. “Watch out!”
The dark haired boy whipped around reflexively reaching out to catch me. He moved faster than I could have imagined almost as fast as lightning. It took him merely a heartbeat to stop me from completing a face flat or worse. If being a new kid in a small school wasn‘t embarrassing enough. I have to add extreme clumsiness to my growing list of horrors.
Unbeknownst to me with in that single second of a solitary heartbeat, my whole world would change forever…again.
Chapter Two
Two things happened next. The tips of his fingers grazed the bare flesh of my arms, sending an electrifying jolt coursing through my entire body. Followed by a shockingly powerful vision, stronger than anything I had experienced before. It blasted me down into the nexus with such extreme intensity I was frightened. This stranger was holding up my body completely limp from the sheer force of it. It was impossible to think about resisting as a very muscularly large handsome man’s image, swathed in golden swirls played out before my eyes.
This strange dark haired golden man had his back to me facing away. He was talking to a gentle looking older woman with long raven colored hair, compassionate joyful swirls of blue and golden yellow surrounded her. She had the most brilliant blue eyes I had ever seen; they were as bright as a clear summer sky. Lines marked those gentle eyes from years of smiling. She seemed to carry herself with a graceful auspicious presence. I had no doubt she was very powerful woman of some kind. There was just something about her.
Yet she didn’t come across to me as a mean person, those were easy for me to pick out their auras usually they consisted of black or grey, hers reminded me more of a calming authoritative like presence. Grandfather would say she probably was the loving mother of an army of wolverines. I turned my head to study the golden attractively strange man was when I noticed someone else was standing beside him; whoever they were their features were fuzzed out, like a painting after someone spills water on it (I should know). The outline of the figure was to indistinctive to get a clear image as to their identity. However, the aura surrounding this other being was so thick and vibrant it completely enshrouded the person. What amazed me most though was how many colors made up this anonymous beings aura. It was impossible. I had never seen so many different colors, attached to one person. I started to count as many of the colors I could name but soon gave up.
In an obvious show of introduction, my eyes wandered back to the attractive man gesturing emphatically between the older woman and the mysterious figure. The older woman’s broad smile beamed the most beautiful loving and welcoming of smiles at this mysterious person. Surprised and taken aback by how warm, honest, and welcoming this woman’s expression seemed to be. I inhaled a quick breath.
Just as shocking and unexpected as was the vision itself, were the emotions tied to it. A strange sense of tranquility and happiness rippled their way through me. Before I could try to decipher more, the darkness swept me back to reality once more.
First thing, I sensed were steely, strong arms wrapped around me bracing me, holding me upright easily. As if, I weighed no more than a feather. My head felt like it was splitting open in two. Swaying a little as the familiar stinging pain made its way across my eyes and forehead. I looked up at the person who saved me from falling. For a moment, panic set in as I realized the only things I am able to make out are flickering moving shadows of grey all around me. I quickly closed my eyes taking a deep breath to help find my center.
Shockingly I found my body responding to his warmth and closeness. His presence affected me in ways I never thought were possible. His hands gently bracing, holding me just close enough to smell his musky scented cologne. It reminded me somewhat of a pine tree after a rainstorm mixed with his body heat and something else I could not put my finger on. I opened my eyes ready to step back away from him, thankfully my vision returned to its normal colorful ways. Before I could take a step anywhere though, he released me. Seeming afraid, almost as if he thought he could break me with the slightest amount of applied pressure.
It was not an altogether unpleasant feeling, I thought in an aside, closely wrapped up in his arms. I stood there in complete total wonder at just how conscious I was of his close proximity to me. I could feel my heart start to race and my breathing increased in speed in time with it. Realizing the affect his very presence had on my self-control, red hot flames of humiliation crept its way across my face and neck.
I prayed silently that in the few seconds I had the vision, he did not noticed how unresponsive and dark my eyes had become. Had I looked straight at him when I was coming out of it? Oh, god I hoped not.
Unsure of whether or not I was stable, he did not completely let go of me right away, deigning to keep a hand behind my shoulder. For some bizarre reason I did not mind it so much.
Criminy what is wrong with me? I thought. Hell what is with him? Obviously, he is just trying to prevent me from taking him or anyone else down with me if I should fall again. Right? I did not know who it was exactly I was trying so hard to convince.
I mean… you have never even met before… get a grip, I told myself. So why did I feel so connected to him?
Even more perplexing was the extremely potent vision that dominated me entirely just by his mere touch. I was frightened and confused all at the same time. Nothing like this had ever happened to me before.
“Are you alright?” he asked me quietly breaking into my nonsensical internal babbling. I glanced around realizing I had been standing there like an idiot letting my thoughts race around inside my head while he evidently had said something. God what he must think of me! He probably thinks I am special needs or something.
My face burned hot under my skin as I started to glance up at him but only made it half way before I realized what I was doing. Quickly I glanced back down at the floor where my backpack lay on the floor between us. “Yeah sorry about that...Thanks” I muttered. A fresh wave of heat flooded my face.
With an unwilling sigh, I distanced myself completely from him by taking a step back. His hand still hung in the air where it had rested on me. For a moment seeming almost reluctant, he let it drop down to his side.
Did he not want to let go? Maybe he saw my eyes before I looked away. Did he hesitate because he is in shock? Just great! He is probably terrified of me now. Probably thinking I am some kind of an alien or something.
Crap, crap, crap! I probably made the poor guy poo himself. I needed to get out of here and quick before there was bigger scene than the one I had already caused.
Pulling myself together, I gave him my best no biggie look, keeping my eyes on the ground at all times. I did my best to look absolutely blasé about the whole thing, hoping he could see it was no big deal. As if, bug-eyed girls falling into him happened every day. Still staring at the floor, I straightened my t-shirt and hoody with one hand while reaching a hand up to tuck the hair that had broken loose behind my ear. Secretly I used the motion to be sure my hair still covered up my scars. I refused to look up at him, whether it was from embarrassment or just not wanting to see the revulsion written on his face, I couldn‘t tell you. I knew at the least, it would be about five minutes before the darkness drains away leaving my eyes once again their usually light violet shade. I felt I had to say something in the growing silence between us.
“Sorry, I guess great first impressions aren’t my forte.” I joked as I patted down my jeans looking for my sunglasses, usually hooked in the front of my shirt or pants.
“S’all good happens to everyone” he chuckled. I noticed he talked with thick southern accent. I wondered from where down south he had lived. Then reminded myself it did no good to wonder.
Trying desperately to relieve some of the tension I was feeling I joked, “Well I don’t know about everyone else, but it does seem to happen to me quite frequently.”
Suddenly another voice laughed and for the first time I realized there were others standing around us. I felt my blush deepen as I frowned slightly at the floor where my backpack lay. Remembering I shoved my sunglasses inside it this morning as I rushed out the door.
I wanted to bend over and pick up my bag finding my sunglasses; I knew that was what I should be doing. However, I continued to just stand there and stare at it. I wanted to reach for something but it was not my backpack. My hands twitched down by my sides, wanting to reach out and once more touch his skin. Had it been just a onetime thing? I wanted to look up to see if he was at all aware of everything that had just transpired.
I knew though if I were to touch him again it would only lead to more disaster, and that was something I couldn‘t afford to risk, at least not today.
Although I hated to admit it, there seem to be something to this dark haired norm standing in front of me.
“Are you sure you’re okay?” he asked again interrupting my inner chatterer. I felt all kinds of stupid as I realized how I must look to him and his friend just standing there not saying anything.
“Uh…yeah!" Brilliant he probably thinks not only is she a pod person she’s as dumb as a brick. To stop looking like the fool and to keep my hands from reaching out to him, I quickly reached down for my backpack lying on the floor between us, instead.
Clearing his throat to disguise his laughter, he leaned over to grab my backpack off the floor. Unfortunately, for him, he reached for it at the same time as me.
“Oh!” He exclaimed in surprise.
“Ouch!” I started to rub the back of my head. That really smarted. That is going to leave a lump I thought.
Our heads, with a resounding smack, had collided halfway down. His sandy haired friend was roaring with laughter.
Groovy…just groovy! I thought sarcastically still rubbing my head.
“Oh God’s! Are you okay? Are you hurt?” he sounded slightly panicked. Was he asking me if I was okay? Like he was worried about me. How could he not realize I was entirely at fault? At least he was not laughing this time, unlike his friend who was holding onto his stomach practically doubled over with laughter.
The only thing seriously hurt was my pride. I wanted to run and hide anything to get away from here.
A little dumbfounded my already dubious balance became a little off and I stumbled backwards another step or two. Whether it was from the collision or shock, I could not be sure. He grabbed my arm once again pulling me gently towards him in an embrace. The moment his fingers found purchase on my skin I felt the hot electricity shoot through my veins and down my body.
Oh no not again! This cannot be happening to me again. Once again, a vision was thrust upon me unwillingly, this one of him. I watched as he stood on an old wooden ladder in the main hallway of the school trying to tape up a banner. According to the banner he was holding, the schools Halloween festival as coming up soon. Suddenly the step he is standing on gives way; wooden splinters grotesquely spear right through his leg. Reality slowly set in as once again the vision faded from my sight. Pain flared sickeningly across my forehead.
When I opened my eyes this time he was keeping me steady with one hand while the other massaged his forehead.
Unsure of why this stranger’s very touch seems to incite visions in me, I quickly pushed away from him. I needed to distance myself from him, and quickly. I jerked my arm out of his clutch.
“I’m fine,” I stated harshly. “Not a scratch on me a few lumps maybe…” Instantly I felt contrite at having snapped at him, after all it was not his fault. “Sorry about that, I sighed; I guess I’m just a natural born klutz…Sorry again…really.” My head was spinning and really pounding, whether from the visions or the collision I couldn’t decide.
“How about you, are you alright?” I sighed, “Did I hurt you?” I kept my eyes closed as I rubbed the back of my head, trying desperately to concentrate on my breathing instead of the throbbing pain in my head.
“Nah, I’ve gotten worse in football, believe me.” he chuckled loudly as he bent over to retrieve my bag, this time cautioning me with his palm out facing towards me.
I heard the Sandy haired boy he had been talking to laughing loudly with him. Perfect… that is all I needed... My first day had not even begun and already I am the court jester. I could not stop feeling mortified, I settled for scowling at the floor.
For the shortest part of a second, the thought of making a run for it out to the parking lot, escaping to the security and privacy of my car and driving away as quickly as possible, had crossed my mind.
I mumbled useless apologies and thank you's, quickly turning to walk away, before I inflicted more damage on someone else. Digging through my bag for my lost sunglasses, I walked away not sure, where I was going in my heated rush to get out there.
Keeping a better watch on my feet this time I turned left down a hallway, resuming my mission to find the office.
When what do my horror-stricken ears hear? Someone with a southern accent was yelling down the hall, in my direction.
“Hey wait up!” “I‘ll catch ya later.” I heard the voice shouting, throwing words behind him as he took off running, he must be talking to someone near him, maybe the sandy haired kid.
I urged my feet to move faster, concentrating on not falling down, needing to escape.
I wasn't sure I was the one he was shouting at to wait for him. Not really wanting to risk the humiliation if I wasn’t. I quickly and coolly threw a glance over my shoulder.
Sure enough, he headed my way.
What possible reason…on this earth…would he have to want to talk to me? It must be someone else. Sadness and disappointment erupted unexpectedly throughout me, adding more confusion than I already felt at the thought that someone else might have claimed his attention.
Why should I feel sad? I did not even know this guy!
“Your new here aren’t you?” he asked in his thick drawl as he caught up to me. Funny I thought he was capable of moving a lot quicker than that. When he stopped me from crashing into him, he moved like a cheetah and almost seemed to blur. Must have been my imagination!
I turned around just to see whom he was talking too. Trying to convince myself all the while, he could not possibly mean me. Which was a stupid assumption I guess? I mean how many new students could possibly be starting their first day here, in October.
Once again, I found myself trying not to blush bright red, it was starting to get a little infuriating.
“Is it that obvious?” I asked sarcastically, unhappy at being tortured further. I carefully maintained a spacious distance between us not risking another accidental touch. I found myself wishing the ground would just swallow me up so I wouldn’t have to worry about it.
“I’m only asking cause if you’re looking for the office, it’s back the other way” he chuckled. My sarcasm seeming to bounce right off his very filled out chest. I shook my head to distract it from noticing anything else.
Is he laughing at me now as well? I thought in disbelief.
Was he getting some personal satisfaction out of humiliating me further than I already was? Anger was slowly replacing any lingering feelings of frustration and chagrin I might have been feeling.
My body froze up right in the middle of the hallway refusing to take another step, not quite sure what to say or do. Stiffly I turned back the way I had just come. Not facing him, I walked as quickly away from the guy as I could, as fast as my five foot six legs could carry me. Never taking my eyes off the floor, I made sure my feet did not trip up again.
“I didn’t mean to upset you--I could show you the way if you like.” he offered in a much gentler tone.
Horror! ‘Was he keeping pace with me?’ I risked a glance out of the corner of my eye and sure enough there he was strolling next to me easily keeping up, one long stride for several of my short ones. Did he just not get it? What is a he special need, special services or something? I mean how hard is it to leave me alone is? I frowned angrily at the floor under my feet. Who does this guy think he is? Aggravation clearly set on my face. Vision or no vision, couldn’t he tell when someone wants to just be left alone? Why won’t he just go away and let me disappear quietly? I inwardly groaned, silently pleading again for the floor to open a giant pit for me to fall into, with no success.
Not wanting to sound completely ungrateful, but needing to let him know his help was not needed or required. I decided to scare him a little by looking him straight in the eyes, hoping my eyes still had enough darkness in them. Maybe if he saw the complete dismal emptiness in them, he would be frightened enough to leave me alone. I would expect that type of response that is how norms typically would react. Then maybe I could make a quick escape to my car.
Not wanting him to show me around the school, I mean how dense could he really be? I turned my head towards him staring at him full on, trying my hardest to scare the pants off him. That is when I got my first look into the handsome face of my would-be rescuer.
My mouth unexpectedly popped open with a gasp. I had been all prepared for his reaction to my eyes, most norms are scared silly at things they don‘t understand, but what I was not prepared for was the reaction I had to his.
He was absolutely, positively gorgeous. I didn’t stand a chance. His short black hair waved slightly over his left ear, which very neatly trailed his chiseled jaw line.
Michelangelo’s sculpture of David could not have seem more chiseled and better looking than the strange man I saw before me. He gave off a wave of confidence and surety about him all the while maintaining a cute Clark Kent, boy next-door look. He carried a worn out back pack in one hand and was wearing designer jeans Nikes and a tight Dark blue Aeropostle t-shirt, which promptly showed every muscle rippling across his chest. He was as big as a mountain with muscles rippling up and down his arms trailing down his legs. A physique one could only have gotten through years of training.
Probably a football jock or some other sport I thought which would explain the varsity athlete’s jacket. None of that however compared to his most striking and capturing feature… his eyes, I took a deep breath.
He had piercing clear blue eyes with ebony centers. I found myself swimming in them, wanting to drown in their depths. They reminded me of the noonday sky as it reflects off a glass-covered lake. They radiated warmth, kindness, and tenderness in a way I’ve never seen before. I quickly looked away before he possibly stopped walking and noticed me gawking at him.
I shook my head trying to dispel my mind from my current thought pattern. I must be losing my mind!
In some section of my mind still able to function, even under this stranger’s tender expression, it registered that his eyes were the same brilliant blue as the older woman from my first vision. A relative perhaps? He did have the same the same warm commanding golden aura about him. It was then I realized whom it was I was seeing. He was the same strangely handsome man from the first vision. Yet he seems slightly different somehow.
The easy going, laid back feeling that rolled off him in waves, vibrated from his very center, instantly relaxing me. I felt a longing to know him to be somehow closer to him, something I have never felt before. It spread through my entire being. Taking me by surprise and leaving me breathless. I glanced at him from the corner of my eye. His lips curved upward as he smiled down at me with such softness I felt my heart squeeze.
Wait he was smiling! WTF!!!! Well at least he wasn’t running away in fear or calling me names. Although the ideal of scaring him out of his pants was looking, like better and better to me. For some odd reason I didn’t want to scare him anymore.
Get a grip girl! You don’t even know him. That right there is what brought me back to my senses. No, I did not know him and would never get a chance too. I wanted to be near him, yeah, I admit it. I want to gaze contentedly into his eyes indefinitely. Wanting something and what is best for you are not necessarily the same things. As I had quickly learned in my first couple of foster homes.
Once again, I was staring at the floor wishing it would swallow me up whole already. I wanted to be done with it already. My blush returned. Sadness permeated throughout my entire being. I wouldn’t--couldn’t even dare to look up at him. I could not afford to get to close to anyone. I knew that better than anyone did. No matter how badly I wanted it, or how much a connection, I think I might feel. Who was I kidding I did want it, badly. What is wrong with me today? I have had off days but this was pushing the envelope. I knew It is dangerous even letting myself think about getting close to a norm, and in truth, I never minded keeping a distance much before. No norm ever wanted to get to close to me either. Yet there I was like some drooling puppy dog, panting after a bone.