Being Human
By Patricia Lynne
Smashwords Edition
Copyright 2011 Patricia Lynne
Cover art and Design by Keary Taylor
This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to Smashwords.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.
This is a work of fiction. Any names, characters, places or incidents are products of the author’s imagination, and used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, businesses, events or locales is entirely coincidental.
Acknowledgements:
A huge thanks goes to Erin Bachand, for reading through each draft and helping me figure out the best way to tell this story. Thanks to my cheerleader and writing partner in crime, CJ Cook, to all my beta readers, Mary Beth, Marni, Dan, Brad, and Cynthia. Without you, this story wouldn’t have shined as brightly. Thanks to Keary Taylor for the beautiful cover. I get giddy every time I look at it. Thanks to Cassie Robertson for editing it. I am utterly hopeless when it comes to punctuation. Lastly, thanks to all my readers, the ones who read my ramblings on my blog and the ones who read this story.
Table of Contents
It is said vampires forget their human lives. As soon as they are turned, the memories start fading. One theory is because of need. The need to sate the hunger and thirst overtakes their senses. It consumes their thoughts and washes every little bit of humanity away until they no longer remember their human life. Another theory is that their mind changes too much. They no longer know how to think, move, talk or feel like a human. The final theory is that they simply let it go. They aren't human anymore, so what’s the point of remembering?
Maybe it's a combination of the three.
What I do know is that vampires forget being human. I forgot being human. Can't even remember the biggest details. Did I get along with my parents or was I a bad seed? Was I good in school? Did I enjoy sports? Did I have lots of friends? Or maybe even a girlfriend?
I don’t know any more or care. Why should I? That human life is behind me, forgotten with the first taste of blood.
Guess the first theory is accurate. Wake up in the evening with thirst burning in my throat and lay down at dawn with it simmering in my stomach. Sometimes I feel like a junkie, always looking for my next hit, my next meal – a victim, according to humans.
There are some things from my human life that matter a lot. Events, places and one human in particular I can’t forget. I know these things because they happened after I was turned.
The first thing that came to me, when I woke in a small clearing in the woods, was the darkness. It was dark, but at the same time… not. I could see everything, every tiny detail was clear as if illuminated by light. But there was no light, not even moonlight. I stumbled around the small clearing, disoriented as the world bombarded me with sensations.
A gentle breeze howled in my ears and felt like talons ripping across my cheeks. The world beneath me felt unstable, as if it slowly rotated. When I reached to touch the ground, the grass beneath my fingers felt uneven and sharp, biting into my skin. I jerked my hand away, drawing a breath, and the smells hit me like a hammer. Dirt, grass, rocks, trees and animals that were no longer there. Hundreds of scents hung in the air; my nose twitching as it took every scent in and my mind distinguished everything.
As I stood in this familiar – yet alien – world, I felt my memories start to fade away. What had happened in the clearing was the first to disappear. I didn’t try to hold onto it. Just a dream, I told myself. That couldn't have happened to me. I needed to get home before I was grounded.
Maybe I had been a bad seed.
The journey home felt like it took forever, but in reality, took a matter of minutes. I stopped often. First because my new sight had me stumbling, but, as I grew accustomed to it, my stops became ones of confusion. Where was I going? The answer was home, but I grasped for a reason why. Did I need something there? A drink? Could it be that simple? After all, my throat burned as if I had swallowed a mouthful of hot coals. A need to quench that fire burned in my mind, driving me forward.
When I reached home, only a sliver of human denial persisted. It’s a bad dream, get a glass of water and go to bed, it whispered. But a much more insistent part of me screamed, Get inside and satisfy your thirst!
Welcomed home, my parents fussed over me. My mother sighed I needed to get to bed and my father scowled and scolded me for being irresponsible. Why had I disappeared without telling them where I was going? Didn’t I know vampires were waiting in the shadows to feed on the unsuspecting?
Humans knew that vampires existed. It had been an accident, an unintentional slip on the old vampire's part. Tired of existing, she sat outside to wait for the sun. The rays washed over her and her body burst into flame while a tourist bus witnessed the event. The tourist company called the news stations, a few reporters investigated and found all that remained of the vampire – a pile of ashes. The ashes were sent to some scientists for testing. The scientists discovered the ashes used to be human, but there was something not quite right – not quite human – about them. Then a video taken by one of tourists surfaced on the Internet, next national news and it became open season on vampires.
After that, any vampire discovered was caught, bound and left to greet the morning sun. Or set on fire. Anything to make the vampire burn until nothing remained but a pile of ash. Scientists gathered the ashes to study and figure out how to best destroy a vampire. It was, of course, an approved genocide. Who would protest the killing of a creature so evil?
Now comes the part in the story where I’m expected to say everything turned out okay. My family was horrified I had been turned, but accepted me as a vampire and we hid it well.
That's not what happened. What happened was I hid in my room, huddled in the corner, as the overwhelming vampiric instinct washed away the last remnants of my human life. There was only one thought and it consumed me: Hunger.
The hunger devoured every thought, dominating my mind with its heat. It drove me out of my room and into the dark hallway. Rhythms echoed in my ears, sounding like a drum set that beat just for me. Maybe the rhythm was instinct, telling me what to do and where to go. At the time, all that mattered was the overwhelming hunger and how I knew exactly what would quench it.
When I opened the door to the room that contained the loudest rhythms, it didn't make a sound.
The next few moments were the best of my new vampire life. Blood and heat, life slipping into death, all flowing into me like a river I couldn't get enough of. I wasn't aware of who I was feeding on, only that I was quenching the hunger and need. It was the most blissful thing I could do. No longer did I care about the humans who had been my parents. They meant only one thing to me now: sustenance.
With my fangs deep in the human’s neck, something came to me. A warm hand touched my shoulder and a rhythm behind me beckoned. I abandoned the dead woman in my arms, letting her fall to the beige carpet next to the lifeless male. Both were already forgotten as I turned to face the human behind me.
The rhythm halted and the noises stopped. Not a single creak or chirp was heard. Every breath stopped as the world paused. This human…
He looked just like me!
I wasn’t sure how I knew that. The human memory of what I looked like had faded away, but I felt deep down, where my heart lay, I looked like him. Dark brown hair, fair skin, rosy cheeks and eyes as blue as the sky. He was skinny too, sinewy and lanky. His voice would be mine as well; we were identical. Or used to be.
He looked like a healthy human boy and I knew that I didn't. My skin had to be pale with a permanent sheen of death on it. Where my eyes still that blue?
A tormented look shone in his blue eyes. His fingers grazed my cheek like he was afraid I wasn’t real. Then he whispered one word and everything changed.
My brother said my name.
A weight slammed into me, crushing me with ugly realization. The humans behind me were more than blood. They had been my parents and I had murdered them. Worse than that, I had been planning murdering my brother as well. The thought ripped through me like a tornado. My eyes twitched and my throat tightened like I was going to cry. Tears never came; my eyes stayed dry and I whispered, “Danny, what have I done?”
“It's okay,” he said, instead of answering. He knelt in front of me, his eyes locked on mine and his hands on my shoulders. “It's okay,” he said my name again. “You're going to be okay. Just relax.”
“How?” I asked, unable to grasp the concept of relaxing. The idea of emotions felt foreign, like they no longer applied to me. My voice must have sounded void of emotions because my brother's face wavered and I heard whispers of his thoughts.
They say vampires stop caring. Has he already stopped caring about me?
I considered answering his thought, but said something else. “I can't stay here.”
“Why not?”
His eyes were still locked on mine. Humans should never look into a vampire's eyes. Thoughts whisper from behind the eyes, telling the vampire what the human is thinking, enabling the vampire to take control of those thoughts and bend the human’s will.
“You can't be seen with me,” I said, but I thought to myself, I'm terrified I'll kill you. I didn't want to scare him. He was acting so reserved; his voice didn’t tremble, his face was calm and there was no fear in his scent. Any other human would have panicked, started screaming, and the smell of their fear would have been like a drug I couldn’t resist.
Maybe he knew it was vital to stay calm. He knew that, as my twin, I wouldn't want to kill him, that I couldn't – which was why I stopped when he touched me. The horror I had felt about murdering my parents was fading. There would be no guilt over their deaths or for any of my victims to come. It is the reason that humans believe vampires have no feelings. They say we are cold and emotionless monsters.
That's a lie.
Love, hate or sorrow; a vampire still feels them. Our reactions are simply different, faster and often missed by humans. If I had harmed my brother that night, I knew I would have felt the emotions. Guilt and anger would have torn at me, demanding to know why I had hurt him.
“I don’t care who sees,” he said. “You can't leave me. We have to stick together.”
I shoved him away, my strength sending him flying across the room. He landed against a wooden dresser with a cry of pain. The sound tore at me, but I didn’t dare turn back. I dove out the window, landing on my feet and sprinting away. Behind me, I heard him yell my name, his voice filled with anguish.
“I have to leave,” I said as I ran, knowing he wouldn’t be able to hear me. “Your brother is dead and there's only me now.”
****
I ended up in the woods outside the town I was certain I had lived in as a human. I wandered among the trees until the sky started to lighten. Digging with my bare hands, I dug deep into the ground where it was cool and quiet. I drifted through the day in half awareness, but never really asleep. You don't need to sleep when you're dead. You only need to lay still and rest.
As the day passed, I wondered. Not about the vampire who turned me – that no longer mattered. Vampires aren’t loving parents who stay by your side to watch over you and make sure you get everything right. No, they bite and drain you, leaving you to turn and wake alone and confused and to figure everything out for yourself. I guess instinct is enough to keep any vampire alive.
My mind wondered again and again about my brother. I couldn’t help myself; my thoughts returned to him unbidden. There were no memories other than the ones from the night before. Anything else about him I felt. Love and caring, concern over his wellbeing. I felt connected to him; I didn't want to be away from him. I knew he felt the same for me; I had seen it in his eyes in our parents' room. Even in death, the twin bond was strong.
When the sun began to set, my body vibrated with energy. Eagerly, I dug myself up and shook the dirt off. My first thought was to feed. Hunger lay curled inside me like a beast and I remembered how good it had felt to feed. Heat had coursed through me, giving me a surge of energy that strengthened me and made me feel more than alive.
Then I remembered my brother.
Somehow, like I knew who he was when I saw him, I knew he wouldn’t want me to kill and that mattered to me. What he wanted shouldn’t matter, I knew, but it did. He was important to me and the urge to not disappoint him gnawed at me.
“I want to feed!” I told the night sky. Pacing back and forth, I tried to figure out how to get the blood I needed. No, it wasn’t need fueling me, it was want.
How?
How could I feed and not sadden my brother?
I felt it was impossible; I couldn’t feed without hurting him. Frustrated and confused, I slammed my fist into a tree and sent bark flying as the dry wood splintered. With a growl, I shoved the tree, sending it crashing to the ground.
“Why do you have to matter?” I shouted. “Why can't I forget you like I’ve forgotten everything else? I'm not human! I don't want to be!”
The words froze me. Already I didn't want to be human? That was how fast vampire instinct worked? Washing everything human away in a matter of hours until there was left nothing but a lethal predator? I couldn’t even grasp the concept I was once human.
I sank to the forest floor, ignoring the urge to hunt and drink blood, and letting the night slip by. Bats flew above, crickets chirped, the stars sparkled and the moon shone. I ignored it all, lost in thought over the puzzle of my brother and my hunger.
Eventually I rose. Enough musing and agonizing over my brother; it was time to satisfy myself. No destination or plan in mind, I headed out of the woods and into the town. I knew what I was going to do and how to do it. There was no rush.
Well, maybe a little rush. With only so many hours in the night, I couldn’t afford to waste too much time. There were more hours during the day, but I would be useless then.
The streets were deserted, all humans inside their homes, so I moved outward, hanging along the roads. Cars sped by and I raced to catch one. Above the drone of the engine, the rhythm of four hearts beat. Tempting, but I wanted to take it easy. I dropped back to wait for another car. The next one had a single human in it, one rhythm beating. I picked up my pace, pushing to match the speed of the car, and jumped.
I landed silently on the roof of the little sedan. The wind whipped around me, wild and chaotic. I paused for a moment, enjoying the feeling. It felt pure. Nothing could corrupt the wind or stop it. Unlike the rhythm beating below me.
Music muffled through the roof, the rhythm of the human’s heart almost keeping beat to the tune. Is it not enough/Is it not enough/Everything that was said/Everything that was done/In the end I gave all I had/Sacrificing all I loved for you/And I forgave you for it all.
The last line stuck in my head, a truth ringing in the words.
I had murdered my parents and thought about killing my brother and yet he didn’t hate me. I wasn't necessarily sure that was right. How would I have felt if it had been my brother who was turned and murdered our parents?
With no memories to indicate how I should feel, I turned my attention to the human below me. Quickly, I smashed the passenger side window and the human inside screamed. The car swerved, out of control, and into the other lane. Moving quickly, I slid through the shattered window, instinct directing me. My gaze connected with the human's and I pushed my will against hers. The car slowed to a stop, pulling to the side. The human didn’t move, her gaze locked on me and her thoughts blank from the force of my will. I did not want her thinking about dying. That would only make her struggle.
Maybe it was because my first kill had been my sleeping parents. They hadn't been conscious, there was no struggling or screaming, and that had imprinted on me. Or maybe I liked the idea that if the human submitted to my will and stayed calm, I could enjoy the blood more. Savor the taste instead of trying to contain a frightened human.
The fear never left her eyes as I moved closer. I thought about reassuring her, saying it that was all right and it would be over quickly. But it felt like it'd be in vain. My words would be a lie. She would disagree that killing her was all right.
I had to say something though. I felt like my brother would want me to. He'd rather me say, I'm sorry or Nothing personal. A small reassurance instead of nothing.
But those words wouldn't help, my mind reasoned as my lips touched her neck.
I should say something though, I argued.
Then it didn't matter.
It didn't matter what my brother thought or how scared this human felt. Didn't matter if a torch-baring mob surrounded me. My teeth were buried in her neck, the crimson blood pulsing onto my tongue and flowing down my throat. My want and yearning was satisfied. That was all that mattered as I fell further and further into the rhythm of blood.
****
I left the dead human in her car on the side of the road. It was fine where it was, where it would be found. That's how it should be, I mused. Vampires fed on humans and leave the bodies so the other humans could bury them.
Why did humans bury their dead?
The question took me aback and I knew I should know the answer. I must have known the answer when I was human.
“It doesn't matter!” I yelled at the world around me.
Why was I talking to nature? I should be in a good mood. I just fed and the human had delicious blood. What would humans compare it to? What foods were considered a luxurious treat? More answers forgotten.
Why couldn't I forget my brother?
As if on cue, a faint breeze carried a scent. It drifted to me, surrounding me and tickling my nose. I turned and followed it like a sailor would a beacon to safety. As I ran, the scent intensified, growing more pungent in the dark air. It seeped into my surroundings, embedding itself in the trees and the ground. The scent said it belonged here; my brother belonged here. Why?
Was it because I was here?
The sound of water gently lapping broke the silence as I ran. I changed direction slightly and moved toward the water, knowing he would be near it. The trees around me thinned, opening up to a large field. No, it wasn't a field, it was a yard.
A few hundred feet ahead, on the edge of a lake, a cabin stood bathed in the light of a half moon. The sides were rough-hewn wood with windows cut into them, a chimney nestled against one side of the peaked roof, and a porch stretched across the length of the front of the cabin, uneven steps leading to it. Nothing adorned the porch, no chairs, tables or mats.
“I knew you'd remember this.”
I turned to find my brother standing at the edge of the lake. His shoes were off, pants rolled up as the water lapped at his toes. Across the lake were more cabins, a few with twinkling lights. If I listened closely, I could make out the rhythms beating inside them.
“I don't remember. I only caught your scent and followed,” I replied.
“Oh.” His shoulders slumped. He perked up a little. “You still came.”
“I didn't want another to find you.”
“Another what?”
“Vampire. Because if one’s going to kill you, it should be me.”
His eyes widened, his mouth opened in shock and he croaked one word, “Oh.”
I looked at him, seeing and smelling his fear. “I wouldn't do that though.”
“Oh,” he repeated, not so horrified.
“I don't want you dead.”
“Oh?”
“No,” I confirmed and paused, considering my next words. “You're my brother. I don't remember being your brother, but I feel it. It's why I stopped when you touched me. I saw you and knew who you were.” I looked at him, catching his gaze. “I won't let anyone hurt you. If they do, I'll kill them.”
The Adam’s apple in his neck bobbed as he swallowed. “You don't have to do that.”
I tilted my head. “Why not?”
Another bob of his Adam’s apple was accompanied with a step backward. “You look creepy when you tilt your head. It looks like you're thinking about eating me.”
I untilted my head. “It's crossed my mind.”
“But you said you didn't want me dead.” His voice was slow and uncertain.
“I don't,” I assured him. “I can bite and not kill. I choose not to.”
For a long moment he was silent. Emotion flashed across his face: confusion, fear and anger. His words seemed carefully chosen when he finally spoke. “You choose not to... So you don't have to kill, but you do because you want to?”
Before I could answer, he turned away from me and headed back to the cabin. I followed him, wondering why he didn't want to hear my answer. Should I have lied to him? There was no reason to lie to him. Lying was pointless.
He tugged his shoes on, unrolled his pants and lay on the grass. He spread his arms above his head, eyes staring at the dark sky. I lay next to him, looking at the sparkling stars and the half moon glowing. The scene felt peaceful, full of serenity that was missing here on the ground. I wondered what it'd be like to be up there, surrounded by peace.
“Are you mad at me?”
My brother looked at me and I realized that the question had come from me.
“No,” he said. “I'm trying to understand you. It's unnerving, seeing you this way. So emotionless and void. You say everything in a matter-of-fact tone, like it's the truth and there's nothing I can do about it.”
“I feel emotions.”
“You don't sound like it.”
I sat up, looking at him. He stared back up at me, waiting. I smiled and still he remained silent.
“Well?” I asked.
“What?”
“I smiled.”
“I didn't see you smile,” he replied. “Your lips twitched. Were you smiling again?”
“I was frowning,” I corrected and lay back down.
“Guess you do it too fast for me to see,” he sighed.
We lapsed back into silence. The only sounds I could hear were the water lapping at the lake’s edge and my brother's breathing and heartbeat. All three were steady and soothing noises. I felt like the world around us didn't matter. It was me and him and I didn’t want it to end.
“Tomm–”
In a flash, I sat up, silencing him with the sudden movement. I stared at him, a feeling of unease welling in me. “Don't,” I whispered, “ever say my name. Don't say mine and I won't say yours. Understand?”
“Okay.” He raised an eyebrow at me. “Guess it's true what they say, vampires fear names.”
“Names have power. Power to make you see what you don't want to see.”
“What don't you want to see?”
I leaned closer and he shifted uncomfortably. He kept his eyes on mine, trying not to let his fear overpower him. Was that human instinct? To naturally fear vampires? Had I? It made sense. Vampires hunted humans. I hunted humans, but he was more than just blood to me. He was my brother and that was so important it trumped every vampire instinct in me.
My voice was a whisper, just loud enough for him to hear. “We don't want to see you.”
****
The next night I returned to the cabin. As I wandered around the dark building, my mind shifted between my brother and my hunger. I had no intention of hunting. Last night I hadn’t needed to; that was me being a glutton. The reality of vampires is that the hunger is always there, but the need – the driving force behind the hunger – isn’t. Need arises once or twice a week, maybe less; it depends on the vampire.
While I waited for my brother, I peeked in the windows of the cabin, looking past the curtains. White sheets covered the furniture and the fireplace was cleaned of soot. I turned and looked at the cabins across the lake, glowing with twinkling lights. Why did this one feel abandoned?
Time ticked by as I waited, pacing across the length of the porch. The moon moved across the sky, disappearing behind the trees. Still, my brother didn't appear. I figured he'd come back. Okay, so I hadn't said anything to him about meeting at the cabin again, but I figured it was a given.
I jumped off the porch and stalked around the cabin, smelling and listening. The smell of grass, water and wood was thick in the air, but my brother’s scent was fading. I headed down the gravel driveway, his fading trail leading me that way.
There was still no sign of him when the gravel turned to pavement. I kept walking, moving into the ditch in case a car passed. I could have a snack, I mused. I shook my head. No time for snacks. Not until I found my brother.
At the edge of the town, I melted into the shadows and headed to the only other place I figured he could be: our home. Yellow police tape was strung across the front door. The curtains on the first floor windows pulled tight. I climbed to the second story, finding open curtains. The room where I had murdered my parents was covered in more yellow tape, white chalk outlines and little numbered markers. The smell of blood hung in the air, reminding me of my only memory of them. That memory no longer mattered, so I pushed it back and moved to the next window. That window revealed a small and tidy bathroom. The next window showed another bedroom.
A bed was nestled against the window, the blankets dark red and pulled back. Shoes and clothes were scattered across the floor. A dresser held a small TV and a video game console. This room was obviously my brother’s, I concluded. But he wasn’t in it. Maybe he was downstairs? I hadn’t seen any lights shining behind the downstairs curtains though.
I glanced down the side of the house and saw one more window. I climbed to it, maybe this was it. My brother was in this room.
But who did the other room belong to?
I peered through the curtains in the last room. The bed was in a different position and it looked like the contents had been hastily removed and anything unimportant discarded. To my dismay, he wasn’t in this room either.
I dropped to the ground, frowning. With an irritated growl, it hit me. There was no rhythm coming from the house. No steady heartbeat indicating my brother was inside. I had been so preoccupied with finding him that I completely ignored my senses and overlooked that fact.
I marched to the nearest house and pounded on the door. An outside light flared to life, a lock clicked and the door inched open. I shoved it, snapping the security chain. The elderly human on the other side cried out in shock. I grabbed her before she fell out of reach, her arm frail in my grip.
“Where is he?”
Her mouth soundlessly opened and closed, fear filling her scent with its alluring odor.
I sighed in annoyance. Humans scared too easily. Wiping the irritation from my face, I tried again. “Where is my brother?”
“I-I-I don't know who your brother is.”
“Bullshit! He looks just like me.” I pointed at my face. “His skin's a little pinker and he smiles more. He's alive. He wasn't at the cabin and he's not at our house. I want to know where he is.”
“Maybe if you tell me his name,” she stuttered.
“Not on your life. You're not holding any power over him!” Anger out of control again, I bit it back and made my voice as pleasant as possible. “His parents just died. They were murdered–”
“You mean Da–”
“Don't say his name!” I snapped. “Just tell me where he is.”
“His aunt and uncle took him,” she gasped, her breathing labored. “They live in New York City, but I heard he's still attending school here since it’s only a few miles away.” Her eyes were abnormally large and spit dribbled down her chin.
“Are you going to die?” I demanded. “How can humans tell?”
“I don't know. My knees feel weak and my chest hurts. Why?” The last word was whispered.
“If you're dying, I'm going to kill you because that would be a waste of blood.”
She did the oddest thing then. Her eyes rolled back until all I saw was white. Her knees buckled under her and she collapsed in my arms.
I shook her, trying to wake her. “Wake up, you need to tell me if you’re going to die.”
When she didn’t stir, I propped her against the doorway, where she slumped over, and headed down the steps. At the bottom, I paused. Maybe I should push her inside. Humans did enjoy staying in their houses. Every human I had seen tonight was in their home; the ones at the lake were in their cabins, my parents and brother had been inside when I came home.
I stood at the foot of the steps, torn by indecision. The human looked like a discarded doll, sprawled in the doorway. I supposed if it was me, I'd want someone to push me back inside.
Crackling energy filled the doorway, reminding me I wasn’t welcomed in, as I pushed the her inside. Once she was inside, I came across another problem. The door swung into the house. I pushed on the energy, trying to reach inside and grab the doorknob, but jolts shot up my arm, slicing my skin open.
“Whatever. I don't know why I'm bothering,” I grumbled and darted down the steps.
****
New York City. The last light from the sun had dissipated into blackness and humans filled the city streets. They scurried down the sidewalks, looking unconcerned, yet in a hurry. Cars packed the streets, honking at one another. Businesses glowed with lights, signs flashing in the windows.
“Best not to linger.”
I whirled around at the voice behind me, stumbling out of the shadows I was hidden in and into the light. An uncontrolled growl escaped me and I clamped my hand over my mouth to stifle it. The humans around me halted, their eyes locking on me.
“Easy.” The vampire stepped into the light and the human’s eyes shifted to him.
Another growl rumbled, instincts fighting to decide who the bigger threat was: the many humans surrounding me or the single, older vampire before me?
“Easy,” the vampire repeated. “If you ignore them, they'll leave you alone. They figure if there's a lot of them, then they're safe. True, a lone human is an easier meal than a single human in a crowd.”
“They're not afraid?”
“They are, but you’d be wise to hunt elsewhere.” He shrugged. “Humans here carry these little torches. It doesn't produce a lot, a foot long flame, but we’re sensitive to fire and it spreads quickly.”
I looked back at the thinning crowd, now noticing little black devices clutched in the remaining humans’ hands. Even with those little devices, they had cleared out quickly. “That's weird.”
His head tilted slightly. “How old?”
“Three days,” I said, continuing to watch the humans.
“That means your instincts aren't fully developed and it's dangerous for you to be here,” he replied. “Not until you have everything figured out. There are too many humans. A new one like yourself should stick with small towns or the roads.”
He was right. My instincts warned of the dangers pressing on me from all sides. The sheer number of humans had me on edge, a desire urging me to escape to safety.
“I can't. I have to find my brother.”
The look the vampire gave me was uncertain. Like he thought I was crazy or going crazy. “What brother?”
“He's my twin. An old human told me our aunt and uncle took him here. I have to find him and take him home.”
“Are you saying your brother is human?”
“Yeah.” My eyes narrowed at the vampire. “I'll kill anyone who tries to harm him!”
“Your human brother?”
“Yeah.”
“Your brother... is human?”
“Yes,” I snapped. “I don't remember being human or his brother, but I know it. I feel it. After I woke up, I returned home and murdered our parents and he was there. Now he's not and I'm told he's here somewhere and I need to find him.”
“So, he's your brother, but you don't remember anything else about your human life?”
“Yes,” I sighed. “I don't care about my human life. I care about my brother.”
“Now that is weird.”
I glowered at him, annoyed the vampire wasn't getting it. He was my brother. That didn't mean he had to be a vampire too.
“Well, good luck on your search. Remember, as long as you don't bother them, they won't bother you.” The vampire sank back into the shadows and flitted up a wall. I watched his silhouette glide across the rooftops.
The vampire’s words in mind, I started searching. When possible, I stayed in the shadows, trying to be invisible to human eyes. When I couldn't, I moved as fast as possible. The vampire had been right though. As long as I ignored the humans, they mostly ignored me.
As the night wore on, there was no trace of my brother. I didn't see him among any of the many human faces I passed, didn't catch a whiff of his scent either. Desperation curled in my stomach. Maybe if I made my approach look harmless, I could ask the humans if they had seen him.
The first one shrieked when I approached, brandishing the mini flame-thrower. As human eyes bore into me and a hostile feeling filled the air, I darted back into the shadows. I ran as fast as I could, finally halting blocks away.
With the next human, I tried calling out. That human took off running while the rest stared at me in confusion. I tried approaching a few more, all with the same results.
Frustration welled in me as I stood on the street corner, humans hurrying past. I stomped into the middle of the crosswalk, planting myself in front of a taxi. The driver's eyes widened at me and I saw the locks on his doors click down.
“Hey!” I kept my voice loud and calm. “I'm looking for my brother. He looks just like me, but he's alive. Has anyone seen him?”
Every human froze in their spots, the cars motionless in the street. They watched me, their mouths hanging stupidly open. It was like I stopped the world and it couldn't restart.
“Well? Has anyone seen a human like me?” I repeated after a long moment of silence.
Something clicked in the humans. Eyes blinked, mouths closed and the humans came back to life. Heads shook and they continued on their way. A driver timidly honked his horn at me and motioned me to move. I moved back onto the sidewalk, defeated.
Not one of them had seen him.
I took a deep, calming breath. I'd try the next intersection. I'd try until I found someone who had seen him, knew where our aunt and uncle took him.
“Excuse me?” a timid voice trembled.
Hope rose in me and I dashed to the human.
Almost as fast, she thrust the mini flame-thrower in my face. Her hand shook as she held it, fear oozing from her. She gulped down a breath and spoke. “Are you sure you didn't kill him?”
“No, I wouldn't kill him or do anything to hurt him! I just want to find him so we can go home. I've decided I'll live in our house with him. I don't care what the humans back home think. They're not separating us,” I snapped.
“Okay,” she squeaked. “Maybe you should file a missing person's report.”
“He's not missing; he is here in this city.” This human wasn't being nearly as helpful as I wanted.
“Did you get the address?”
“No!” I snarled.
“Sorry,” she squeaked and stepped back. Her eyes darted around, seeking safety.
I followed her gaze, noticing a group forming. Mini flame-throwers were out and one human even had a tire iron. The group watched me, waiting for me to make a move. I quickly wiped the anger off my face and took a step back. “Not your fault. Thank you for helping. No, I didn't get the address. The old human fell asleep and I couldn't wake her.” I paused. “I'll go back and maybe she won’t fall asleep so I can ask.”
“She probably fainted.”
“Why would she do that?”
The human looked at me curiously, some of her fear melting. She was careful to avert her gaze from mine when I looked back. “You really have no idea?”
“No,” I said. “I wasn't going to kill her. I told her I'd only do it if she was going to die because that would be a waste of blood.”
She laughed nervously. “Wouldn’t that make you faint?”
“No.” I glanced up at the sky, then the mob and back to the human. “Thank you for trying to help... have a good day?” I wasn't sure about the last part, but I threw it in to make sure I sounded harmless. If I wanted to harm her, I wouldn't say that, right?
“You too... I guess,” she replied.
The mob surrounded her as I walked away, asking her if she was okay, if she wanted to sit or needed something to drink. I rolled my eyes. Humans were paranoid. If I wanted her blood, I wouldn't have wasted time talking to her; I would have bit her neck and enjoyed myself. Who wants to talk while they eat anyways?
****
I couldn't find my brother all week. All week! I rested close to the cabin and as soon as the sun set, I rushed to it. When I didn't find him there, I went to our home. I had to be careful when I did that. The old human I apparently scared had raised the alarm. The humans were looking for me, looking to destroy me before I killed again.
How else was I going to get fresh blood?
Not that I hunted while looking for my brother. He was more important than the hunger gnawing at me. I knew I'd have to take time off from the search one night to sate myself. I kept pushing it back, hoping each night would be the night I found him.
I knocked on the door, feeling the wood buckle with each blow. “I just want to know where my brother is. I won't kill you. Promise. You don't even have to open the door.”
“Demon be gone!” the voice on the other side commanded.
“What? I just want to know where–”
“We know what you want, monster,” the voice interrupted. “And we're not telling you. We will not let you condemn poor Da–”
“If you say his name, I will rip the door off and then rip your tongue out!” I interrupted this time.
A pause on the other side. “We won't let you condemn his soul. God will not be denied another child.”
“Who's God?” I asked. “Does he have my brother? Where is he? How do I find him? I thought our aunt and uncle had my brother.”
“The only one interested in you is the Devil. You will burn in hell, monster.”
This human wasn't making any sense. My brother was God's child? And where was Hell? Did he even know who I was looking for?
The wail of a siren pierced the night. Red and blue lights flashed and a bright light washed over me. A silver and black car squealed to a halt, Vampire Forces gleaming on the side, and two humans jumped out. They stationed themselves on each side of the car, guns aimed at me. The one on the left was calm, his gun steady. His eyes held determination, a level of control that showed he knew what he was doing. The other was nervous. The gun in his hand wavered and sweat covered his brow.
I gazed between the two, mind and instincts racing. I knew the threats these two humans were to me, understood who they were. Vampire Forces, humans who hunted and destroyed vampires. They combed the darkness, searching for the hunters and turning them into prey.
The one to the right yelped when I lunged at him, knocking him into the car. A crack echoed, the other human shooting as I raced away. I ran until I reached the city, immersing myself in humans that didn't care I was a vampire.
There, I resumed the search for my brother, pushing my close call with Vampire Forces to the back of my mind. I moved from street to street, approaching each human with extra caution. My first approaches had been too fast. To the human, I had simply appeared. The reactions were the same though, silence and stares.
I asked other vampires about my brother as well. They shook their heads like the humans and hurried on their way. One warned me what streets Vampire Forces staked out in hopes of destroying vampires. If you value your survival, young one, avoid those streets, she warned.
The restrictions made it hard; I wanted to search the streets I had to avoid. Often I abandoned my search, diving into the shadows as I caught sight of a silver and black car. Staying calm when talking to humans was becoming a chore. I sank a fang into my tongue more than once when biting my anger back.
All to no avail. My brother had vanished into thin air. I desperately missed him, searching my mind for memories, sometimes hoping to stumble across a human memory that hadn't vanished. There were none and I replayed the few I had of him over and over.
I knew I shouldn’t use his name, but I didn’t care. I wanted to find him. “Danny, where are you?”
The only answer I heard was the city. It pulsed around me, thousands of rhythms beating out life. I trudged through it, feeling weak and fatigued, unable to focus or concentrate.
I needed blood.
I melted back into the shadows, pushing every thought but one away. My stance turned predatory, instincts whispering what to do. Each step became more careful, every sound taken into consideration as I hunted. I scanned the city streets, a sliver of nervousness tickling my mind.
This was my third time hunting, but the first time in the city. What if something went wrong? What if the human fought? What if Vampire Forces caught me and destroyed me?
Down a dark alley, a rhythm called to me. A human was curled on a pile of discarded newspapers, his snores bouncing off the alley walls. I moved closer, scanning the darkness. Why was he alone? Humans in the city knew to stay in groups.
I stalked around the alley, checking and double checking for signs of other humans hiding, but there were no others hidden in the darkness. I turned to the human, rolling him over and exposing a dirty neck. A stale odor was thick on his breath, his body reeking of sweat and waste. Was this why this human was alone? The other humans were repelled by his filth?
I rubbed at the dirt, trying to clear a spot. I licked my fingers, spit on the skin and cleaned until there was a sizable spot. Need warred with a nauseous feeling, the odor turning my stomach. My fangs refused to cooperate. Finally, I forced them out and bit.
The stale smell of his breath was also in his blood. I gulped it down, choking as I struggled to finish. The stale taste coated my mouth and I licked at my lips, smacking them. Now I understood why this human was safe alone. I was tempted to find another human, wash the bad taste away. But I didn't. The weakness was gone and I was ready to begin my search for my brother anew.
The air around me begged to differ, growing warmer as the sky lightened. It wouldn't be long before for the first rays appeared. Minutes maybe. I fled the city, heading for the cabin. A tingle crawled over my skin, the start of a burn as I rushed through the trees. I slammed to a halt and started digging, immersing myself in the ground.
I waited in half awareness, trying to be patient. The stale blood had revitalized me and I was eager to resume my search. My mind mused on places to look, each spot revealing my brother. By the time the sun disappeared, I could barely stand it. I clawed my way out of the ground, racing towards the city.
A scent drifting on the night air stopped me and I fell forward, my sudden halt throwing me off balance. I scrambled to my feet, turning in circles and catching the scent again. I raced back the way I came, the scent leading me straight to the cabin. Of course, the one night I opted to go straight to the city was when I should have checked the cabin first.
I dashed around the car parked next to the cabin, smelling my brother's scent. It led me to the front and I raced up the steps, stopped only by the energy surrounding the building.
“Danny?”
“I thought you said not to use each other's names?” He was relaxed in one of the sheet covered chairs, feet kicked up and a grin on his face. The smile faded as I remained in the doorway. “Can't you come in?”
I lifted my hand, pressing against the energy. A snap cracked through the air, blue lightning spidering from where I touched it. My hand was thrown back, a jolt of pain running up my arm. “You have to welcome me in.”
“Damn.” He jumped up and stopped on the other side. His hand was unaffected as he waved it through the doorway. “I wonder why it does that.”
I tilted my head at him, then remembered he didn't like that. “Wouldn't it be bad if vampires could enter homes? There'd be no humans left. We'd kill you and then starve.”
“Disturbingly, you have a point,” he sighed. “Well, come in.” He gasped as I lifted him off the floor in an embrace. He squirmed and struggled, face turning a little red. “Tommy, let go!”
It was like I had no choice, my arms released him and he thudded to the floor. He grunted and winced in pain, then yelped in shock when I pulled him to his feet.
“I've been looking for you,” I informed him. “All week. You weren't here or home, then an old human told me our aunt and uncle took you to the city and then she fell asleep on me. I've been half mad with worry. I thought maybe God took you to Heaven!”
“What?” The question was accompanied with a burst of laughter.
“I was looking for you, trying to find where our aunt and uncle took you, and this stupid human started rambling to me about God and Heaven and the Devil. Who are they and what do they have to do with us?”
Tears were in my brother's eyes. He slumped back into the chair, beating on the arm with his fist as he roared with laughter. “You thought God was a person and heaven a place on earth? I can't breathe I'm laughing so hard!”
“So this human was lying to me?” Fury boiled in me. I was going to find that human later and kill him! “Why are you laughing? I thought I wasn’t going to find you.” My voice turned timid, the anger fading into fear. “I thought I'd never see you again.”
His laughter died and regret filled his eyes. “I'm sorry, To–”
“When I said your name and you mine, that was an exception.”
“Oh,” he mumbled. He looked at me, curiosity shimmering in his eyes. “Have you really been looking for me all week?”
“Yes. Why didn't you come back here? How come you were never home?” I demanded, releasing my pent up worry.
“I was getting settled in at Aunt Dee and Uncle Dick's. Do you remember them?”
“No, who are they?”
“Mom's sister and brother-in-law. We'd always go visit and you and I would sit bored out of our minds the whole time. No games or TV or anything,” he explained. “I spent the whole week moving stuff from home to there. Next week I go back to school.”
“You're not going to live at home?” I asked, crestfallen. “I thought we’d be together, in our home.”
His eyes widened in shock. “You want to stay with me?”
“Yes, I figured if I behaved, the humans wouldn't bother me. That’s how it was in the city.”
“Aunt Dee said there were a bunch of vampires in the city. She said they're like bees, let them be and you won't get stung. Uncle Dick said people should call VF and every vampire be destroyed. I reminded him you were one now.” His smile turned into a frown.
“What’s wrong?” I asked. If my brother was staying with our relatives, then so was I.
“Everyone expects me to believe the same, that I should hate you.” He looked away, voice hollow and sad. “Maybe I should, but I can't. When you got home, you went straight to your room without a word to me. I sat in the hallway trying to figure out what was wrong. I stayed there until Mom made me go to bed.”
“That other room is mine?”
“Yeah, we used to share a room, then Dad separated us. We spent all our time in yours because you had the TV.” He fondly smiled and I felt slightly envious he remembered and I couldn't. “Anyways, I don't know what woke me. Don't even know why I got out of bed. Something pulled me down the hall and there you were; Dad already dead and Mom dying. I was horrified.” He looked up at me. “But it was you and I... You had been missing almost two days. You never left without telling me before.”
“So you don't know how the vampire found me?”
He shook his head. “There have been rumors of vampires staring in windows and willing people to open them. Nobody said it, but I knew that’s what Mom and Dad thought happened to you.”
“But if they thought a vampire got me, why did they let me in?”
“Probably didn't think about it, they were too happy to have you home to even notice how you looked,” he sighed.
“Are you still upset I murdered our parents?”
“I'm not upset.”
“Good.”
“I'm sad.”
“Oh.”
He shook his head. “Your apathy is going to take some getting used to. I'm always gonna be sad about Mom and Dad and if you were human, you'd be too.”
“They'd be alive if I were human,” I pointed out.
He grumbled. “I'll be sad for the both of us. I'm sure there are support groups or something. Anyways, I saw you killing our parents but I dunno, I can't hate you. You're all I’ve got now.”
“You're all I’ve got too,” I replied. “What do we do now? I'll go where you go.”
He averted his eyes. “You can't, Uncle Dick wouldn't hesitate to try to kill you himself.”
“I'll kill him first,” I replied darkly.
“No,” he sighed again. “You're not going to kill any more of our family.”
It didn't miss my attention that he didn't use my name. He could have used my name and I'd be more likely to listen – would listen. Maybe not using my name was his faith in me. He hoped deep down there was something human left.
I tilted my head at him, staring until he shifted uncomfortably. “I'm not human. Don't treat me like one in hopes I'll change. I kill whoever I want and anyone that tries to keep us apart.”
“Will you?” he challenged.
“Yes!” I insisted, then remembered my internal struggle on my second night. “No,” I amended. “I wouldn't kill someone if it hurt you.”
A faint trace of a smile filled his face. “Guess I can settle with that for now.” He kicked back, lacing his fingers behind his head. “I'll just have to work on training you again. Took me fifteen years to get you to listen to me when you were human. Should take no time this time around.”
I laughed despite myself.
“Creepy,” he informed me. Sadness crossed his face, along with guilt. “I better go. I kinda took the car without permission. Aunt Dee would crap kittens if she found out I took it out of the city after dark – with no license.”
“But when will I see you again? Are you sure I can't come?”
“You know, your voice almost sounded like it had emotions,” he replied. “You can't and I dunno when I'll get the chance to visit.”
I exaggerated every emotion so he wouldn't miss them. I scowled and frowned; irritated, I told him I wouldn't kill someone because of him. If I could kill my uncle, then this problem would be solved. Our aunt sounded like, as long as I didn't bother her, she wouldn't mind me there.
“You're acting like a baby,” he chuckled.
I bit back a growl, annoyed I didn't have a retort.
“You were always bad at comebacks too.” He shrugged, trying to act casual despite the hitch in his heartbeat my glare caused. “Fine, you big, fanged baby. How about this: I'll show you where I'm living now and you can visit whenever you want.” He jabbed a finger at me. “But you can't come inside.”
“Not your home to welcome me in to,” I smugly retorted.
He waved his hand dismissively. “The roof of the back porch is right under my window. You can sit outside and we can play video games until the sun comes up. Just like we used to. Come on, I'm driving.”
****
“Do you dream?”
I sat outside the window to my brother’s room in our aunt and uncle’s house. He was almost opposite of me, sitting on his bed, and leaning against the window frame. A curious look filled his face, waiting for me to answer.
“I don't sleep. I close my eyes and relax and when the sun sets, I open them.”
“Relax?” he asked after a curious silence.
“I rest,” I clarified. “My mind is still active, still thinking, but at the same time I'm relaxed.”
“You think?” he teased with a smile.
I frowned long enough for him to see. “Didn't I as a human?”
“I'm joking,” he replied in a sour voice. He turned his back to me, a succession of clicks sounded as he grumbled at the video game. Once he finished assaulting the buttons, he turned back to me. “Are you sure you don't want to play?”
“No,” I said, staring across the rooftops.
Lights glimmered in windows, most only thin lines of light that escaped through closed curtains. In the distance, tall, dark buildings rose into the night sky. At the end of the street, twin lights appeared and a familiar drone grew in the night, one I learned to recognize as a Vampire Forces car.