5 ACRONYMS OF ANGER
Anticipate
Neutral
Genes
Empathy
Reflect
5 ACRONYMS OF ANGER
1St Edition
Copyright © 2011 by Wong Cheng Heng
ISBN: 978-981-08-9987-5
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Disclaimer
This book is prepared with the author’s best efforts and it does not make any representation or warranty with respect to accuracy and applicability of the contents in this book.
The contents in this book is only for information purposes, guides within this book outlines based solely on the author’s research and observation and it does not constitute advice. The contents in this book do not warrant applicability in relation to specific situations, or circumstances, it is the sole responsibility of readers’ discretion for any action taken.
The author assumes no responsibility and disclaims any liabilities in respect of the information found in this book.
TABLE OF CONTENTS
CHAPTER ONE – UNDERSTANDING ANGER
CHAPTER TWO – ANGER IN WORK PLACE
CHAPTER THREE – ANGER IN FAMILY
CHAPTER FOUR – ANGER IN RELATIONSHIP
CHAPTER FIVE – ANGER IN PUBLIC
Anticipate in subconscious mind
Neutral judgment focus on issue
Genes may influence temperament
Illustration on 5 Acronyms of anger
INTRODUCTION
Anger is an unpleasant emotional reaction when one is feeling dissatisfy or displeasure with someone, or over some incidents which trigger one’s nervous system in response. Anger is emotional driven, psychological perceptive and physical in reaction - anger may develop feelings of distress, frustration, disappointment etc. Perception can cause anger to fluctuate - either escalating or diminishing; physical response is relative to emotional level and perception at the moment of anger which may cause rising blood pressure, muscular tension, increase heartbeat rate etc.
Anger can be cause by reasons such as relationship problems, financial woes, losing face, unfair treatment etc., and anger may also be trigger by other emotions arising from distress, mood swing, pessimism, stress and so on. In general, intensity of anger may or may not necessary be proportionate to cause of anger, it depends somehow on individual’s temperament, tolerance and cultivation.
Anger is not necessary negative and unhealthy; when mild anger is shown in appropriate situation, it may become gesture for other party to listen and treat one’s concern with importance. Sometimes, people might just take things for granted and that is where one’s authority (by showing mild anger) signifies displeasure and concern. However, any intensifying anger is unhealthy and one needs to keep it within healthy limit though it may be a way to release stress.
In this book, I hope to share some understanding on anger and the cause of it while providing some guides on managing anger. These guides may help to control unhealthy level of anger and eradicate unnecessary anger in order to improve one’s health, relationship and social beings. I have also designed the ‘5 acronyms of ANGER’ which can be used as a mantra to dissipate anger; this mantra is formulate through my observation, experience and research that is both practical and logical.
CHAPTER ONE
UNDERTSANDING ANGER
Anger is an emotional reaction through one’s psychological interpretation, normally when one is provoke, irritate, frustrate, threaten, wrong, denial, and when encounter with someone unpleasant or involve in disgusting situation. This emotion may be shown from facial expression, body language which some common gestures like staring, frowning, finger pointing, shouting, while some people may resort to physical violence.
Anger is a natural emotion experience literally by all humans, from infant to adult and elderly people. The way anger express differs in different age group and varies according to individuals’ character, tolerance and cultivation.
Everyone is born with this natural emotional expression of anger; even before baby is born they tend to kick in the womb to show frustration or discomfort. After baby is born, they would express anger by crying which tone differs from other crying tone that is a bit squeakier. Likewise, crying is also a way baby communicates before they learn how to speak in their mother tongue.
When children begin to communicate in simple vocabulary, they cry lesser but will tend to show anger in disapproving manner such as throwing things, screaming or doing the opposite of what was told. As children approach adolescent and teenage years, their anger tends to show in a more verbal manner such as argue, quarrel and debate though some children may resort to fight when they can’t resolve verbally, typically with children in the same age group or with siblings.
Adult tend to be more rational in angry mood though not usually reasonable when anger becomes intense; they are more likely to reason with involving party or walk away when neither party give way. However, it depends on individuals’ character, tolerance and cultivation which sometimes heated argument or fight might ensue when anger becomes less controllable.
Most elderly people are sentimental, some prefer to keep anger in silence while others may be prone to vent anger in loud argument, abusive language or even fists fight like when they were young.
Different age groups tend to show anger in different manners though some similarities do exist among people with similar characters. People in the same age group may varies in the way they vent anger which individuals’ character, maturity and cultivation are key determination on how one vents anger.
Anger degrees can range from mild to rage while men and women also have different ways in showing anger. Men tend to show more intense anger than women while women’s anger seems to last longer than men.
Risks and benefits of anger
Since anger is a normal way to express emotion, it is not always bad to let it out as long as the extreme is avoid, it can be beneficial when anger is shown constructively in a firm but mild manner.
Unhealthy level of anger may cause health threats or trigger one’s existing illness, which uncontrolled or intense anger pose higher chance of health risks. Some common symptoms of health threat associate with anger are headache, insomnia, loss of appetite, high blood pressure and stress, which long-standing stress can cause blood clot and heart attack.
When one gets too immerse with thoughts of past incident that cause one’s anger, tension may build-up and affect one’s nervous system. One may experience bad headache, losing sleep and losing appetite which stress may develop further and weaken one’s body immune system causing other serious ailments such as migraine, high blood pressure, chest pain etc.
It is scientifically proven that when a person gets angry his or her blood pressure tends to rise higher than usual, relatively from release of adrenalin in the body. People with medical history of high blood pressure are advise to start manage and control their anger early before complication set-in. People with high blood pressure are at higher risk of hypertension which may be prone to stroke, heart attack and heart failure. Even people without medical history of high blood pressure, accumulative tension cause by anger may transform chronically into high blood pressure.
However, releasing anger has its benefits if done constructively within healthy limit and at the right situation. Showing anger has its cognitive effects; it can be a way to express care and concern over other people’s comment, remark or action, and it is also another way of communication to show disapproval.
Showing anger is also about getting attention from other people to listen and respect what one says or expects. If anger is shown constructively and in a two-way communication then it can be beneficial, the ultimate aims to release anger (mild anger) is to improve communication and focus on problem solving.
Types of anger
There are many ways anger are express; it comes in passive, cold, hostile, and aggressive forms though different types of anger are closely related to individuals’ characters, however, one’s cultivation might induce changes in expression.
Passive anger
People with passive anger are usually introvert by nature, they tend to keep their thoughts to themselves or prefer to share their thoughts with few other people that are close to them and these people may be their friend, relative, sibling or parent. People with passive anger normally don’t get angry easily, or their anger tends to be mild. Trivial matters don’t seem to bother them much but if they are angry over something seemingly serious to them, the impact can affect them quite badly.
People with passive anger are often self-approaching whenever they feel that they are responsible, and they are likely to mutter something unpleasant or may even resort to self-inflict injury. If fault lies on other people, they would usually give them cold shoulder, avoid talking to them, and avoid eye contact. They will also avoid confrontation that may escalate tension between parties but some may resort to revenge by other means.
It seems that people with passive anger are often categorized as unconcerned, magnanimous and stable though it may not necessary be true. This group of people though some may resort to psychological manipulation (feign pity, sabotage, negative approach and etc.) on concerning party; others prefer to straighten their own thoughts and if they can’t resolve mentally, they may indulge in some harmful activities such as over-eating, taking alcohol, or prone to have their mind preoccupied with negative thoughts that may result in losing focus, insomnia, depression etc.
Cold anger
People with cold anger are quite similar to people with passive anger in expression and characteristics. They will not speak to concerning party for some time, though some of this people may keep silence for longer period because they are not able to diffuse their anger easily or may not readily accept cause of anger.